Chapter 2:

Take Me to Church

After possibly the most pleasurable teleporting he had ever experienced in which Dean was certain if Castiel had help him any longer he would have just cum right then and there, compared to the typical, some...intestinal troubles, Castiel had gotten both himself and Dean back to the seedy hotel that Dean and Sam were staying in.

Dean wanted to walk around and figure out where Sam had gotten to and warn him about Becky's existence but all he could do was stand to the right of Castiel, back turned on him, holding his hand.
He couldn't let go. It was too unpleasant.

"This is all your fault, ya know." Dean growled
Cas didn't say anything.
"You pulled that blindfold off me without even checking to see what was going on, you just jumped into the situation knowing damn well that Becky messes around with witches and crazy shit like this!" Dean was getting so angry.
He didn't like not being in control, especially of his own body. His own mind.
Dean abruptly made an about face, jerking Castiels arm down and clearly catching the angel off guard as he stumbled all the way up to Dean, the space between them now being centimeters instead of the 12 inches of space their outstretched arms allowed.
He stared Cas straight in the eyes for a moment, breath becoming uneven and the need creeping back into his very core.
He needed to touch Castiels skin more than he needed oxygen or food or water or all of them combined. He needed Castiel as he imagined Castiel needed heaven, or God.

He continued to stare at Castiel for a moment longer while Cas just stood there, nearly touching him, looking very concerned, holding his hand.

Dean scrunched up his nose in disgust with himself and his lack of control. He noticed being near Cas without achieving the level of touch that he wanted had caused him to begin to break out in a flop sweat. It was cold but still slimy and disgusting.
In that moment Dean decided to take his control back and he let go of Castiels hand.

He immediately felt the loss. As if he would never see Cas again. As if someone had punched a hole in his soul with a crude metal hole puncher. He tried to shake it off but his voice betrayed him as it broke like a preteen boys does mid sentence,
"I'm going to take a shower."
"I could come with you if that eases your discomfort until we figure out something better…" Castiel offered.
Dean scoffed. He could absolutely shower alone.

He sauntered over to the bathroom, all the while trying to keep some semblance of manliness and dignity to stick around as he clearly appeared to be suffering while he moved farther and farther from Cas.
After throwing up and spiking a fever he managed to peel the sweat drenched clothes off of himself and get into the shower.

For a few minutes, the physical things went away and it was just the aching sadness that he felt when Cas wasn't near as he stood directly under the shower head allowing the hot water to just pour over him. Trying to scold out the desperate missing of Cas' touch and but also the emotional aspect. He tried to clear his mind, but after 30 minutes under the soothing water he seemed to have reached his limit.

The room spun and he clenched his eyes shut. Leaning on the freezing shower wall. He slid down it, completely losing his ability to tell which end was up and lied down in the tub.

Another wave of nausea crashed against him and he rolled over so he didn't drowned in his own vomit should he actually throw up. Just as quickly as it came the nausea disappeared and he was stricken with a panic so strong he knew this was the end. Cleary his heart was giving out as it ached in his chest and flopped around like a dying fish gasping for oxygen. He felt his eyes start to roll into the back of his head as he shook violently. He couldn't breathe. Oh my god this was where he was going to die, right here, naked in a bathtub. He tried to slow his breathing but it felt like he just couldn't inhale hard enough. His hands went numb.
'Am I having a stroke?...Have I even ever had a panic attack?'

He felt impossibly soft fingers grab either side of his face and little tiny spurts of electricity, like when you plug something into a wall and touch the metal on accident. that buzzing that goes all the way up your arm

The shivers disappeared and he stopped sweating. Someone turned off the water He arched and flushed and gasped and grabbed the wrists of the person holding his face. He mpamed. Outloud. He didn't have the brain capacity to have humility, masculinity AND composure. He moaned in between gasps of prescious air that he was certain he'd been depriced of. and moaned as his entire body felt like it was alive after being deprived of oxygen and his very soul for hours. His face tingled and it spread down his throat and his torso, across his arms and down his legs to his toes and he was in the land of the living again as he opened his eyes to see Castiel hovering over him, shaking him and...was he yelling? Sound returned to Dean. Yes, Cas was yelling.

"Drean? Dean I don't know what to do in this situation...!"

Dean took a few more huge gasps of breath and dug his nails into Castiels wrists and sputtered, he used Cas' arms to pull himself out of the bathtub and wrap a towel around his waist. It was already embarrassing enough that this was even happening, let alone while he was naked. He turned to face Cas' side again and grabbed his wrist. It somehow felt less creepy than lacing their fingers together

"It stopped..."

Cas looked at him critically.

"Thank god you called for me, you could've had a seizure and hit your head." Cas said, moving one hand back to examine the back of Deans head for blood.

Dean steeled himself and decided he just needed to try harder to control his wants and needs, so he let go of Castiels wrists and Cas pulled back his hand. Dean began shivering again, feeling the cold return. He shakily reached out with an, even for him, oddly unsunkissed bronzed hand that just appeared to be losing blood rapidly and turning an odd shade of yellow, and grasped the cuff of Cas' trench coat and pulled.

"Wait, wait don't let go it's coming back..."

Cas furrowed his brow, tipping his head to the side.

"..you want me to... hold your face?"

Dean took in a few breaths to try and organize his thoughts, and steady his voice,
"look...I don't care...Where you hold me. Just as long as I don't have to feel that way again."

The shivering continued to get worse and he felt himself become clammy again. He slithered his hand limply up Castiels sleeve and wrapped a hand around his wrist and the insanity pulled back, leaving a sweat covered disheveled Dean behind. Like the ocean's tide, crawling back down the beach and leaving behind it foam, garbage and dead things. And in that moment, Dean decided he needed it. Needed more. He needed to try to become a part of Castiel. He pulled Cas in by the wrist so hard he threw him off balance and caught him by grabbing Castiels face.
"Dean…"
Deans eyes darted quickly between Cas' lips and his eyes. He licked his lips and swallowed hard.
"What is it Castiel." He let the angels full name roll out of his mouth like a red carpet connecting their two mouths, only on Castiels end was communion.
Deans breath seemed to have sent shivers down Castiels spine as Cas went from looking worried to looking down and to the right, losing eye contact.
"The level of consent in your actions…. what you want to do. It's not right. There is no proof that you actually feel this way."
Dean smirked, if love was liquor he was shit faced, he took one of his hands off of Cas' face and gently held it before setting it on his toweled hip and slowly moving it to the center of his pelvis. Cas tried to pull his hand back and keep looking away but Dean snatched his chin and his hand back,
"No no. Look at me." He mumbled in his typical husky voice that he used while hunting something he particularly hated. Maybe it just happened everytime he had a strong emotion. He smoothed Castiels hand over his erection. Castiels eyes got wide and he froze. He had no idea what to do.
"Come onnnn" Dean whined with his biggest puppy dog eyes but clearly his demon smile,
He edged his face a little closer to Cas'
"I can feel it radiating off of you Cas."
He tipped his head brushing their lips over each other and cas made a high pitched grunt and fluttered his eyes open and closed.
Dean smiled even wider he slithered his tongue out of his mouth, swiping his tongue along Castiels lips who gasped a little and tried to pull away. Dean tightened his grip on Cas' wrist, rubbing up and down through the towel.

"I can't do this Dean, it's wrong, it's not what you truly want."
Dean growled and shoved Cas against the bathroom door so hard it knocked the air out of Cas a little bit.
"Don't you ever,"
He pressed his body flush up against Castiels just the right way so that he could feel his erection through all those ridiculous layers of clothes Cas wore. He firmly placed a hand on either side of Castiels head, forcing him to look at him,
"Don't you ever tell me what I want."
His eyes flashed black for a second.
He was going to take control of this situation, no matter how he did it.
"I will tell YOU what YOU want."

And with that he closed the gap between their lips, sloppy at first, open mouthed and Cas' arms just hanging at his side until he felt Dean press his hips in close and grind. No, grind wasn't the word, his hips rolled, but the entire time kept contact. Grinding and rolling and kissing and licking and oh, now he was moving on to nibbling his lower lip. Oh god why wasn't his time having sex as a human like this.
Dean wanted nothing more than to be the backward God, kneeling and praying at Cas' alter. Begging for release for his mortal body, from his needs and wants. From his insatiable desires. Cas whimpered and opened his mouth wider, begging for it to never end.
"I'm gonna make you feel as powerless as I feel" Dean whispered.
With how satisfying just the simplest touch had become to Dean, he was merely seconds away from blowing a load right there, he had been able to let go of Castiels hand and Cas just kept rubbing, faster and pressing harder as Cas' need grew.

Dean wasn't sure if it was the bathroom steam making it hard to breathe or his quickening respirations as he teetered on the edge. He reached down with his right hand, tipping Cas' face up with his left and delving his tongue in, first fairly shallowly, he felt he may explode at any moment and that if he died right then, it wouldn't be a bad way to go. Cas lifted his hands and slid them up Deans naked torsos sides which caused Dean to break the kiss and burry his face into Castiels collar bone. Cas' hands wandered back up, curving around Deans shoulderblades and Dean dug his teeth into Castiels collar bone which caused the angel to gasp loudly and buck his hips forward in the most beautiful display of sexual desire that Dean had ever felt as he ground his desperation to be touched and to touch back into Deans cock.

Cas felt Dean hold his breath, as if he was in pain and then he felt his shoulder and back muscles moving beautifully, rhythmically. As if they were trying to make music.

There was a harsh exhale of breath.
Dean had been defeated. By his own body none the less.
He couldn't control the natural continuation of his hips grinding into Cas' for a few second, getting slower and slower as his orgasm faded.

He grumbled,
"God I am pathetic right now."
Cas stood there rigidly, not knowing what to do,
"No, you're essentially just intoxicated."
Dean couldn't look at Cas,
"You didn't even touch me… there."
Cas stayed silent and stoic, pulling his arms from around Dean.
Dean shivered. Here comes hell again.
"I can keep holding you if you-"
"Shut up."
Dean gruffly mumbled, pushing Cas out of the way and exciting the bathroom.