Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all.

A/N: I'm very excited, I have a way cool Laurent 'n' Bella picture for my profile now. Also, thanks to everyone who Story Alerted and Favorited this story!

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Chapter 7: Bella- Clinging

I thought that I was beginning to climb out of my hole, and, I guess I really was. Part of me knew that Laurent could leave me just as easily as Edward and even Jacob had. Now that Edward had effectively left me twice, I fell back into my hole where the only thing I could see was my new friend that picked me up last time. When he kissed me, I kissed him back. It was the only way I could thank him for just being there. That's all it was for me, just gratitude. If I wasn't so lost in my own misery, I might have pondered why he kissed me. I filed it away for later consideration.

That damned kiss! Alice said it was the reason Edward left. The anguish of being so close was unbearable.

He said to Alice, "He crushed her, you know."

Never had truer words been spoken, however they were inaccurate. I was pulverized to smithereens. I was just plain gone and certainly had no hope. I lost it.

I was aware of nothing. At one point, Laurent tried to talk to me about that damned kiss. My ability to respond was only slightly above auto-pilot. After that, I stopped pretending. I didn't even bother to function for Laurent's sake like I had for Charlie. Charlie would have never understood, but Laurent, my only friend, would. I clung to him tighter.

Somewhere along the way he dropped me off at a motel. I thought for sure that he was leaving me. I just curled up on the bed and cried until I made myself sick. And then I screamed, and then I cried some more until I passed out. The next thing I knew, I was in Laurent's arm and we were on our way again. I guess he hadn't left me after all.

My ever-returning friend.

When I awoke from my daze this time, we were... in the middle of an airport? I didn't seem right. Something was wrong, I could feel it. It felt like my inside were churning. Then he said the words that made my stomach drop. He found Victoria and I had to hide, he was leaving me again. The only thing left for me to do was to argue. I should have fought for Edward when he left, I should have fought harder to see why Jacob all of a sudden didn't want to be my friend anymore. So I fought and argued with him but he stood his ground. He knew he was right, and part of me knew he was, too, but I'll never admit it aloud.

And then we went shopping? What kind of a person shops in a crisis? I couldn't say for sure what we bought. Maybe I seemed better on the outside but I really wasn't.

Later that day, we checked into a hotel and while Laurent showered, I cried. I realized that as upset as I was about Edward, I knew that Laurent was leaving me again. How many times could he leave before something happened and he wouldn't return? Not only that, he wasn't just going out to hunt, he was going on a search for an enemy. She could kill him. I couldn't stop shaking. I just knew he wouldn't come back this time.

I laid it all out for him to see.

"I wasn't fine," I told him, "I was trying to be fine, but I'm not. Please, please don't leave me. I don't think I can handle it." I begged. If I had any energy I would have gotten off the bed and begged on my knees. I couldn't lose Laurent, too. I rolled over and let my misery wash over me.

I didn't know what I would do next, I didn't even know what state I was in. It was hot, maybe somewhere in the south.

I laid on the scratchy comforter for I don't know how long until I heard a knock at the door.

I didn't bother to get up, no one out there had anything I wanted and the only people I wanted to see were Edward and Laurent, and I knew it wasn't either one of them.

"Bella, it's Alice," I heard through the door.

She wasn't on my list but I let her in. She knew right away that things weren't right.

"Bella, what's wrong?" She asked as she grabbed my shoulders and guided me to the couch in the room.

"Laurent left, he's going to get killed. He's not coming back, I just know it." I didn't pretend for Alice either.

"Silly Bella, if Laurent were in danger, I would be out there fighting with him instead of in here. He's handling Victoria just fine, or he will be in a few hours. Oh, I brought you something." She handed me a bag if food.

I picked through the bag, I really was hungry. Oh course, Alice would have known. She got up to walk around the hotel room. She looked like she was searching the future, too.

"Ooh, are these Chanel?" She asked as she picked up my sunglasses, as if she didn't really know.

"I guess. Laurent picked them out, he said that I could go to Waffle House now."

"Speaking of," she began, she turned and gave me her best mama look, "Jasper hacked into the Indiana state database looking for information on you when I had a vision of you being there. Did you know that police officer who saw you jump out that window was committed into the hospital for insanity? Of course, he was the only one in the group that busted in your room that actually saw you, so they just assumed he went crazy. He had a daughter that was around your age. She just disappeared one day."

I felt terrible! So much went wrong in Indiana. I told her as much. Then I told her more about our journey.

"I can't believe you just left a note for your father!" She chided.

"What was I supposed to do? Say 'Hey Charlie, I'm going to run away now.' Yeah, okay. By the way, I am eighteen now."

"You know, there's always something you could have done," she mused, "I have regrets, too. Following Edward's wishes has made me feel like a fool. I wish I was following your wishes, starting with your wish not to have a birthday party. If I hadn't pushed-"

"No, it would have happened either way. When Edward left, he told me that he didn't want me anymore. Laurent doesn't believe that, but I'm not sure how I feel about it. All I can know for sure is what he told me."

I've never seen Alice look so scary. She was absolutely fuming! She grabbed the lamp by the bed and crushed it between her hands. She ground a handful of the smashed lamp base in her hands and then without warning, threw it against the wall and screamed. Shards of glass stuck in the wall.

"He said what! What an imbecile! I could kill him myself! He thought he was leaving to make you safe, he is so dense! Look at you, running off with vampires! And he didn't even give you a choice in all of it." I shook my head.

I could now acknowledge that anything I wanted to regret, I couldn't. No one had given me a choice in anything until that day with Laurent in the meadow. You can't regret something that you didn't choose and I couldn't regret my choice to come with Laurent.

She paced around the room for about ten minutes, no doubt contemplating ways to torture Edward. Finally, she sat down on the couch with me. She let out a deep breath and then looked at me and shook her head. One thing was for sure, I did not want to be on the receiving end of Alice's anger.

I finished eating and got up to throw the bag in the trash. I looked around the room for the first time since entering it. It was by far the worst place we'd stayed in yet. Now that I was paying attention, I could hear the air conditioner grunt and groan. I went back to sit by Alice, I still had more questions.

"When you had your vision of me and Laurent kissing, why didn't you see me crying. And it wasn't a romantic kiss at all." This was the question that plagued me more than anything.

"It was raining. All I could really see was this extreme outpouring of emotion, how was I supposed to know?" Alice said. She threw her hands up in the air. "Now Edward's off being an ass somewhere, all I see is him in an attic. I don't know where." She pushed her thumbs across her eyelids then slid her hands down her face and groaned in frustration.

"I can't believe that he would think so little of me that he would assume that all I wanted was immortality." Never once did I consider becoming a vampire for any other reason other than to be with him. Even when Laurent asked me, I wouldn't have said yes to be with Laurent, friends or not, it would have been for Edward.

"I don't think he really believed it, I think it was a lie that he told himself. He can be very stubborn, you know that."

I sat there for the longest time. I didn't know what I thought I knew anymore. Up was down, right was wrong.

"I see Laurent biting you someday, someday soon." Alice stated when it got too quiet.

I still hadn't decided. In fact, I hadn't really been in a condition to think about it at all recently. One of the things that held me back was my fear of abandonment. I knew there was a possibility that I would never have Edward, but what if after a while Laurent left, too? I couldn't imagine the prospect of eternity without anyone.

"I know you're afraid, and if you choose not to, that's your decision, but Laurent will never leave your side," she assured me, and then added, "You're his best friend." She looked a little sad. She used to my best friend but she left, too. When this was all said and done, maybe we could work our way back together.

"Tell me about the transformation process?" I asked.

She began to tell me everything she knew. I knew it would be painful, I remember the fire from when James had bitten me. I didn't realize that it would take so long. I could imagine being driven to the point of insanity dealing with that pain for so long.

"There's also the fact that when you wake up, you'll be a newborn vampire. You'll be consumed by your blood lust. If wont be safe for you to be around humans for a long time. Years."

Thinking back to the note I left my father, I did say that it might be a few years before he'd see me again.

"No, Bella, you can't," she said cryptically, probably guessing my train of thought, "you'll look different, Charlie would notice. The most important thing about being a vampire is keeping the secret."

My goodbye to my father was nothing more than a whisper through a door, and it was breaking my heart. I couldn't leave my father stranded like that. I did say that I didn't intend to stay away forever. Well, they say the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

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