Despite anything Jonathan had said, Evan stayed in his room, alone, for three days. He only came out to eat and each time he reached the stairs Jonathan would run to his side. Evan fought him about it, insisting he was fine and he that he didn't need to be chauffeured every time. But Jonathan didn't care. He didn't give a shit how mad Evan got. He wasn't risking him falling just for the sake of his pride.

"Do you want me to tell the guys? They've been asking me and your phone has been on the verge of exploding." Jonathan mentioned when he finally coaxed Evan out of his room again to eat something. It wasn't much and he pushed his plate away after only three bites.

"I don't care. You can tell them whatever." He muttered and made for the stairs, sighing when Jonathan's arm wrapped around his waist. Evan's jaw flexed and he tried not to get so aggravated over it, but he did. Every single time. He let his fingers drag along the wall until he found the doorway to his room.

Jonathan stood at the top of the stairs and watched Evan slam the door behind him. There was nothing he could do but watch and let it happen. So he retreated down the stairs and sat around on his phone for a while, sinking into the cushions of the couch while be messaged back and forth with Luke.

L - So, you're telling everyone?

J - Yeah. But I don't know how to break it to them that he's fucking blind. That changes everything. He can't even game anymore. He's miserable and he's pushing me away.

L - Give it time, man. He's angry and I would be too. He just needs to work through it and if he needs to hash it out and pitch a fit, let him.

J - Yeah. It's just not a feeling I like, him being mad at me. He's never been mad at me and I've never seen him so bitter.

L - It's going to be fine. I'll go get Skype started and call everyone. Just tell me when you're ready and I'll invite you.

J - Alright. Let me go get his laptop.

Jonathan pushed himself out of the cushions and tiptoed up the stairs and into Evan's room. He was asleep, the blankets a tangled bunched up mess around his hips and he was hugging his pillow close. Jonathan's eyes took a moment to actually observe his room. It was somewhat messy but not the filthy kind of mess. It was scattered with trinkets and his room was covered in posters; his own posters, the guy's posters, and his Delirious posters. It put a grin on his face. He got curious and opened his closet to find his shirts separated not by color, but by who they came from. The wad of sky blue ones caught his eye and he counted them. Evan had every single one of his shirts and they looked worn, washed multiple time until they were beginning to fade. They felt like it too as he let his fingers brush over the soft fabric. Movement caught his eye.

Evan rolled over in his sleep and his shirt was shoved up to his chest. His tan skin was smooth as he stretched and went still again. Jonathan tore his eyes away and left the room with Evan's laptop in hand and text Luke that he was ready.

He sat at the bar and rubbed at his tired eyes and waited for the call when he opened Evan's Skype. His heart picked up when it finally rang.

He answered and as soon as it linked him in he heard, "Evan! Where the hell have you been?"

Then, "Oh. You aren't Evan."

"Where's Evan?"

"Who are you?"

He took a breath, looked straight into the camera and said, "Delirious."

Silence.

Mini was the first to speak after a moment. "Wow."

"Holy shit." Tyler ran a hand through his hair.

Marcel sat back in his chair, eyes wide. "Um. Well... it's nice to finally meet you."

Jonathan smiled.

"God, look at that." Brock laughed. "You're gorgeous, man."

"Beautiful. Is that why you hid for so long, cause you didn't want any of us falling in love ye?" Nogla snickered and Lui appeared over his shoulder.

"Hey, Delirious! So, why are you on Evan's Skype?" Liu sat beside Nogla, getting comfortable.

"Because I'm at his house." He said plainly and everyone fell silent again, they could hear the seriousness in his voice.

Tyler tapped a finger on his desk. "Did something happen?"

Jonathan nodded and looked towards the stairs. "Yeah, he called me about two weeks ago while he was riding around town. It's just something that we do, we talk a lot of stuff out. He was... hit by a truck going through the intersection. The man's breaks locked up, it was raining. Evan never saw it coming. I was on the phone the whole time. I heard it and I thought I had listened to him die. Scared the absolute shit out of me."

Luke cleared his throat, "So we called around and found out what hospital he was in and Delirious flew up over night."

"Yeah, I've been here ever since, taking care of him." Jonathan nodded.

"How bad was it? Is he okay?" Mini pressed.

"He's okay, but he suffered a pretty bad concussion and as of right now... he's blind."

"Are you... are you fucking serious?" Marcel asked and Jonathan nodded.

Everyone just stared off, soaking in the new information and for a while no one knew what to say. He rubbed his hands together and stuck them between his legs to keep them warm. "I wouldn't have showed my face otherwise, but I really wanted you guys to know. He hasn't been making videos, or playing games, or tweeting because he can't. The doctor said it was only temporary unless his optic nerves were too badly damaged. Then they'd have to do surgery and that could go wrong and leave him blind forever."

"Fuck, man." Liu shook his head. "How is he taking it?"

Jonathan shook his head, looking for words. "He... I don't know. He was okay at first, but now that I'm having to help him do everything he's kind of aggravated I guess. He's angry and I understand why but he won't hardly eat anything and he just stays in his room all day."

They nodded and Tyler said, "Maybe you should get him out of the house sometime. Take his mind off of it for a bit."

"Yeah, I'll do that. Or I'll try. He's so fucking stubborn." He grinned.

Tyler shrugged, "Hey, drag him out by his legs. If he's going to be an ass, just be an ass right back. Him moping around isn't going to make him any better. I hate it's happened to him but you know."

"I know. I've tried talking to him about it, but he just pushes me away. He won't tell me anything." Jonathan rubbed at his dry eyes.

Brock shook his head with a smile, "I just can't get over how pretty you are."

Jonathan smiled, "You can take me on a date one day, Moo. But I gotta get this loser back on his feet first."

The boys chuckled and Mini twiddled his fingers. "Can we see him?"

Jonathan debated for a moment but nodded and took the laptop up the stairs. He stopped at the door and looked in the camera, "Just stay quiet, he's asleep."

"Gotcha."

He cracked open the door and turned the laptop around until they could see him passed out in his blankets. Evan rolled over and mumbled, before he sighed and went still again. But just as Jonathan was about to turn and leave Evan grumbled, "Hey."

"Yeah?"

"My dad is dead. My mother is in Korea taking care of her parents. My little brother is gone. I haven't seen him since the day he turned eighteen and left."

Jonathan put the computer on the bed and sat down next to him. He glanced at the guys before he asked, "So you don't have anyone?"

"No. My family was never close. My dad was always pushing me to be a doctor like my mom. I could never make him happy. My mother left him a long time ago and two years ago she went home to Korea because my grandparents got sick. She never came back and I don't blame her. Dad died from a heart attack about five years ago and I never missed him." Evan let his head fall in his direction. The boys were silent.

"And your brother?"

Evan licked his dry lips, "My brother... I loved my little brother. He was all that I had and I guess when I tried to take care of him after Mom left, it drove him away. I wasn't good at being the parent he needed. As soon as he hit eighteen he packed up and left the next morning. I don't know where he is and I think about that every day. He could be dead."

"Don't think like that. He's more than likely just staying with a friend. Trying to get away from his overprotective brother." Jonathan ran his hand up Evan's upper arm, the part that wasn't covered in a cast, trying to give him some sort of reassurance that he didn't really have to give.

Evan's jaw tightened and he rolled away. "Maybe. But I don't remember Jamie ever having friends. I guess he takes after his brother."

"That's not true." Jonathan huffed. "You have me."

But Evan was silent, his eyes closed and his words final. Jonathan rolled his eyes and pushed himself from the bed. "Whenever you're done feeling sorry for yourself you can come downstairs. I didn't come here to watch you starve and sleep your life away. If you don't come down tomorrow Evan, I'll make you."

He left without another word or second glance. He picked up the laptop and shut the door behind him trudging downstairs and back to the couch.

"Well, that went well." Luke said.

"I have tried being sympathetic and nice and understanding but he takes it and pushes me away anyway. He's getting on my nerves with this shit. He's literally eaten six bites in the past two days and he looks terrible. You guys saw him." He ran his hand through his hair and ruffled it up out of frustration. "I don't know what else to do."

"Slap some sense into him. Tell him what he needs to hear." Tyler said very straightforward. "Fight him if you have to. He'll take the hint."

"I'm not fighting a blind guy." Jonathan crossed his arms and sat back.

"You know what I mean, Delirious. Just do what you have to."

"And keep us updated on how he's doing, alright?" Marcel said to change the tone of the heavy conversation.

"I will. I'll talk to you guys later."

"Okay, man. Keep in touch." They waved.

"It was awesome finally seeing your face."

Jonathan smiled and Brock groaned and left which had him laughing as he ended the call. He had never thought of himself as good looking because he'd always felt like an average guy. He never had a lot of girls running after him and he knew why. Jonathan was the quiet weird kid that sat at the one table the strange people sat at during lunch. It was the best table in his opinion but it had him lacking friends all throughout high school. But he didn't mind, he liked to be by himself. Luke always insisted he was beautiful and that if he swung that way he'd be all over him. He always laughed it off.

Jonathan left the couch and went into the downstairs bath to look at himself and he always felt the same way each time he stared at the man looking back in the mirror. He sighed and let his finger run over the thin scar that ran from the left side of his jaw down to his neck. It wasn't that visible in certain lighting but he could always feel it, reminding him that his looks almost cost him his life.

The next day came quicker than he expected it to and he was walking up the stairs just as Evan was opening his bedroom door. He stopped and so did Evan when he heard him.

"What? You didn't think I would come out?" Evan said and Jonathan hated the tone his words took.

"No. I didn't." Jonathan responded just as cruel. "But do you blame me?"

Evan exhaled through his nose and moved for the stairs, his fingers guiding him and he pushed Jonathan's hand away when he reached for him. He could feel the man burning a hole into the back of his head as he went down the stairs alone.

Evan slid his cold feet across the tile floor, feeling for the cabinets until he found the one that held cups. He grabbed a plastic one and moved for the refrigerator, pulling weakly at the stainless steel that was cold beneath his fingers. He felt for something to drink and couldn't determine what was what. The frustration was building and it was only made worse when Jonathan slid up beside him and said, "There's water, orange juice, tea, and milk. Which one do you want?"

Evan stared straight ahead stubbornly before giving up, "Tea."

He listened and gripped his cup tighter when Delirious poured the liquid into it.

"We're going to the park in a little while. So, you should probably bathe again before you go out in public. And you need to eat something."

"Not hungry."

"Evan, you're losing a lot of weight and I know you can feel it. You're weak." Jonathan caught his arm when he tried to move past him. "And quit trying to avoid me."

"I'm not."

Jonathan blew an aggravated breath out of his mouth. "You aren't good at lying to me."

Evan yanked his arm away and made for the stairs again, "I'm not lying to you, Delirious. I just want to be alone."

But Jonathan knew. He knew that fucking tone and the way he tried to make it sound as convincing as possible. He was right behind Evan with every step he took and when he walked in his room he attempted to slam the door in face. Jonathan caught it with his hand, the sound loud and a bit unexpected by the look of shock on Evan's face when he turned in place.

"What the fuck do you want?!" Evan said, his pent up frustration tearing it's way out finally and Jonathan took it and turned it right back around on him.

"I want you to fucking stop wallowing around in self pity up here, day and night! It is literally getting you nowhere and sulking about it is just making you angrier! So just stop! Stop trying to do things by yourself, because you can't Evan! Stop going down the stairs by yourself, stop pushing your fucking food away! I know you're hungry! I know you're tired! I know you want to do things like you used to but you just can't Evan! Not right now, and it's not going to be forever! It's going to get better, so stop acting like it's the end of the fucking world!"

Jonathan took a breath and Evan started, "You have no idea how I feel! I don't want to get out of my bed because there is no fucking point! None! I can't look at my phone, I can't play a game, I can't read, I can't even wash my own fucking hair! My career is nonexistent right now! Everything is a waste of time until I can see again! And I don't need your help walking around, my feet work perfectly fine! I've never had help my entire life, I think I can fucking manage on my own!" He paused and caught his breath. He felt light headed.

"God damn it, Evan!" Jonathan pulled at his hair. "Is that your problem? Mom and Dad never helped you out, never pulled you up and brushed the dirt off your shirt, never gave you what you needed? Fuck that! Just because you had to be independent your entire life doesn't mean you can't break down and let someone take care of you for once! Why can't you get it through your head that I'm just trying to help you. I'm trying to feed you and keep you healthy. I'm trying to get you out of your fucking bed and moving around so when you can see again you can get back normal."

Evan stood there, words wanting to form a retaliation on his tongue, but they refused. Jonathan spoke again, his tone dropping until it was soft, "Just let me take care of you, Evan. Please? That's all I want to do. If you want to be alone, that's fine. Just tell me and I'll give you your space, okay? But you need to eat and you need to get out more. You're fucking worrying me, man."

Jonathan waited for a reply, but Evan just sat on the edge of his bed and stared at the floor. He looked like he had something to say but he held it in. Jonathan sighed and Evan finally glanced up, "I want to be alone right now."

It was a lie and Evan could feel Jonathan watching him. He could feel a lot of things.

Evan listened to the door click gently and the thumping of feet going down the stairs and the quiet wrapped itself around him again. He would listen to music but he couldn't find his headphones and he didn't want to ask for help.

He never asked for help and he was good at being alone, even if it was the worst feeling he'd ever experienced. Worse than being blind and in the dark. He wouldn't ask for help because it was drilled into his brain not to. His independence was something he had forced on himself and it ate away at him. He learned not to expect help from anyone and to get things done on his own.

When he heard Delirious' phone ring when he called him that rainy morning in the hospital, he didn't know what to feel or think. The faceless guy he had attached himself to was there in the room with him and when he thought about it, he had felt it. He had a certain vibe that he gave off and Evan felt it anytime he was near. It almost felt . . . warm. Like a flicker of light.

Evan was very much drawn to it, but he wouldn't let himself get too close. He didn't want to be dependent of it, he didn't want to become his burden.

He curled around himself beneath his sheets, his casts getting in the way. They were so uncomfortable and the past two and half weeks had him aching to get them taken off. He felt like he was being held down by the wrists and that made him anxious, on the verge of panicking. It was one of the reasons he was so irritable. He couldn't take much more.

Evan dozed off and on for hours he guessed, he really had no idea what day it was or what time. He heard someone talking and assumed it was Delirious, there was no one else. Evan sat up in the bed and the more he listened the more distraught the voice was. He tossed the covers back and felt for his door, turning the knob silently and turning his head to listen.

"I just snapped, I dunno." Jonathan said and his voice sounded a bit wet, like he was upset. "No, Luke. He just told me he wanted to be alone and know it's bullshit. He knows I know that it's bullshit."

Evan's grip tightened on the knob.

"No . . . I just want him to get better." Evan heard him sniff and his voice wavered. "I can't sit here and keep watching him do this to himself. He's one of my best friends, you know? This is so fucking hard and I keep thinking that . . ."

Jonathan took a deep breath but he could hold back the heavy sob that rang out. He sat down hard on the edge of the sofa and put his head in his hands and he cried. He cried just as hard as the night he listened to Evan get hit.

He wiped hard at his eyes. "I keep . . . thinking you know . . . that this is my fault and that I should've kept playing that game with you. I should've waited and called him back later. Maybe then he would've seen it coming, or maybe he would've been driving faster or slower or . . . something. Maybe he'd be fine."

Evan felt his fingers trembling and the tears pooled at his eyes as he listened to Delirious breaking down.

"I know it doesn't matter anymore. What's done is done. But I wouldn't be mad if he blamed me for it. All I've ever done is fuck him over and I just want him back to the way he was. I'd give anything."

Evan felt like his lungs were caving in. He let his door close quietly and he crawled back beneath his sheets and bit back fresh tears, feeling like a complete asshole for pushing Delirious away. All he was trying to do was help and Evan needed it. Maybe it was time he accepted it even it went against everything he'd ever known.

Jonathan had fallen into a restless sleep, his head was pounding from crying so hard earlier. Luke had talked him about his guilt and told him he was an idiot. As usual. It didn't make him feel any better about anything. So he said goodbye and pulled the cover over himself and got comfortable on the couch. But he could stay under for long, his mind was filled to the brim with the apologies he could give Evan. For yelling, for answering his phone call that night, for being a distant friend.

Lightening flashed just outside the window, followed by a monstrous crack of thunder that shook the house. He felt it deep in his chest and for a moment it relaxed him, the sound of the storm drawing near, the rain slowly coming down. But the second roll of thunder was accompanied by a commotion upstairs and a frantic yell that had Jonathan running up the stairs in the dark.

"Evan?" Jonathan opened his door and found his covers halfway off the bed, his side table knocked over, and Evan was nowhere to be seen. Until another flash of lightening lit up the room and he caught sight of a tan figure with his knees pulled against his chest in the corner of the room as far from the window as he could get.

"Evan . . ." Jonathan moved toward him and his empty eyes and he heard him crying.

"I don't want be be alone, Delirious. I'm such a fucking liar." He shook and Jonathan could hear the terrified tremble in his voice.

"It's alright, you're not alone. And yes, you are the worst liar I've ever known." He laughed and Evan gave a small one until the thunder shook them again.

"I'm not scared of storms. I never have been. But it sounded just like thunder when I was hit and now every time I hear it . . . it takes my fucking breath away and I feel like I'm hanging there upside down in my car again and you're screaming my name." Evan curled his toes in and sobbed into his arms. "Over and over and . . ."

Jonathan sank to his knees in front of him. "Come here, man."

Evan didn't hesitate and moved toward him, grabbing at the shirt on his chest and sinking against him where he cried. He cried until he couldn't breathe and Jonathan was pulling his shirt off, wiping at his face with the soft cotton.

"I'm sorry." Evan said against Jonathan's skin that was kind of wet and clammy now from his tears and hot breath.

"Stop. You have nothing to be sorry for. You had every right to yell at me, every right to get angry at all the shit that's happened. And you were right, I don't know what it's like and I don't know how you feel. But I'd like to try and fix you." Jonathan sat back and took his face in his hands as it stormed outside. "So will you please let me try?"

Evan nodded and for the first time in weeks he felt like he was going to be okay. He felt like the blackness wasn't eating him whole.

"Yes." He let his head drop back onto Jonathan's warm chest. "Please."