Hooya! I'm back! Rejoice! (coughs and crickets) hmm tough crowed, well anyway sorry this update took a little longer then expected.... but like all writers I have an excuse (teehee) my co-op has been devouring my time! mainly because it's an evening co-op but I like it so yea... (shifty eyes) on the plus side i had a blast at animie north!! now as I can see you all have your pitchforks ready I'll just start the chapter now....
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Neji glared. Naruto smirked. The smoke drifted away and most of the crowed was in a bout of hysterics. Neji's eyebrow continued to twitch but found himself to enraged to move or think straight. "YOSH!!"
Neji glared into the eyes of his double, although he wouldn't be caught dead doing 'that' himself. Naruto had transformed into something he knew would push Neji's buttons. "I'm going to kill you" He seethed as he glared at 'Naruto.'
Naruto's smirk widened as he stuck a pose, the pose that every ninja recognized. Naruto gave Neji the nice guy pose and made his teeth sparkle. Naru-Neji adjusted his spandex and pinged again. "YOSH! DO YOU NOT SEE THE POWER OF FATE SWAYS THE POWER OF YOUTH!"
"OH! My sides it hurts!" Kyuubi howled in laughter "Now rub a little salt in that wound!"
A slight poof on Naru-Neji's head and Neji lost it. Now the look was complete. Naru-Neji wearing Gai and Lee's spandex with bushy eyebrows and the bowl cut gave the crowed a nice guy pose. "I'VE ALWAYS DREAMED OF THIS DAY! EVEN IF IT IS NOT TRULY HIM I'VE LONGED TO SEE NEJI TURN TO THE POWER OF YOUTH!" Gai screamed from the stands.
Neji lunged but his attack was easily dodged. Naruto turned to the stands facing Gai and lee arms open. "GAI-SENSAI!"
"NEJI" Gai yelled back tearfully
"GAI-SENSAI!" Lee called
"LEE!" Naruto answered tearfully. 'I am so glad they can't come down here to actually hug me...' He thought as he continued with the call and answer.
"GAI-SENSAI!"
"LEE"
"NEJI!!"
"Idiots..."
"TENTEN!"
"Keep away from me!" Tenten called as she realized Lee and Gai were moving towards her.
While Naruto was... distracted, Neji attacked from behind hitting Naruto square in the back of the head. Naruto went flying and when he landed a poof was heard. Neji gave a sigh of relief thinking he had dispelled the transformation only to once again recoil in shock at what stood before him. "ACK! That's worse! CHANGE BACK!!!!! CHANGE BACK!!!!"
up in the stands Kakashi chuckled "Naruto does seem to have a way of making the bad worse hm?" as Kakashi got a better look at what had happened he face planted "though even I think that's a bit too much..."
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Sasuke glared at the evil stuffed bear. The black hared Nin had taken to trying a new tactic. At this point he didn't care weather he got out of his house or not, he just wanted to... um... relieve himself. He had tried pushing the bed and found that he doesn't get attacked so long as he stays on it. unfortunately it seemed his door was even more booby trapped then the floor. He got slightly electrocuted as soon as he touched the door frame, and so decided to try a different route.
He paddled his bed over to the window using a broom that he had picked up, pushing along the wall silently thanking the Gods that he had bought a bed with wheels. He made it to the window without too much trouble and tentatively touched the frame. Nothing. He touched the glass, still nothing. He slowly opened the window but all was calm. He was about to un zip when a thought occurred. "It's too easy..." He said glaring at the window suspiciously.
He picked up a pillow and stuck it in the frame. The window came crashing down quickly effectively squishing the pillow into the wooden frame. Instinctively Sasuke crossed his legs tightly and visibly paled. If he hadn't of tested the window all hope of reviving his clan would have been lost. Once he got over his shock he reopened the window and tested his theory. This time he held the pillow up off of the frame not touching any sides of the windowsill. When the window came down this time Sasuke smiled slightly. 'The space was censored in some way' he concluded. Looking around his room he reached and caught a clothes hanger. He straightened out the end and stuck that out the window. CLANG. The window came down. He grabbed the glass of water he had kept on his head board thankful there was still some left.
As best he could he made a stream of water pour out the window. Nothing. "So it doesn't stop liquid?" He thought aloud trying his best to look out the window without sticking his head outside making sure no one was there. "Hope I have good aim..." he sighed.
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"YOSH! REJOICE IN THE SPRINGTIME OF YOUTH!!" Naruto screamed as loud as he could while trying his best to keep a face. 'Good idea fuzz ball! This will set him into a blind rage if I'm lucky'
"I'm just marvelling at the fact you actually did it!" The fox laughed unrestrained.
Tenten twitched violently though she didn't know weather to cower in fear or pass out. "Naruto...." everyone looked towards Gai. His head was down and he seemed to be trembling. Most of the people thought he was being mad and so they inched away from the green clad Jonin. "TO USE MY IMAGE IN SUCH A WAY AS TO TEACH NEJI A LESSON! I'M HONORED!" Gai had stars in his eyes and was crying profusely causing everyone to either stare blankly at him or in a mild shock and confusion.
Tenten stared at her SENSAI and shuddered. 'I'm pretty sure he's making fun of you just as much as Neji' she shuddered.
"THERE IS NOTHING YOUTHFUL ABOUT THAT!" Neji screamed.
Naruto blew a kiss towards Neji as the smoke swirled around his privet area. "I call this my un-sexy no jutsu" Naruto said batting his eyelashes.
"THE IMAGE! IT BURNS!!!!" Someone yelled from the audience causing Naruto to laugh.
'This loser is going to cause me nightmares with this... Never wanted to see Gai naked.... never thought I'd long to see myself in the spandex' Neji thought as he tried to think of a way to attack without actually having to get too close.
"COME LET ME EXPRESS MYSELF TO YOU!!!" Naruto screamed as he moved towards Neji with extreme speed. Every single person in the audience was thankful then the smoke stayed around his waist area.
Neji tried to dodge but couldn't move fast enough. Even moving to a keiten stance was impossible. The attack was a critical hit.... to Neji's ego... "YOUTHFUL EMBRACE!" Naruto screamed as he squeezed the pale eyed Nin. As he was lifted off the ground Neji violently kicked his legs trying to attack in the only way he could. After what seemed like an eternity Neji made contact dispelling the jutsu. Gasping Neji sent up a silent prayer that his traumatic experience was over.
"Humph" he scoffed. "Nothing you do wi- impossible..." Neji looked around frantically byakugan scanning everything. Naruto was gone and he had fallen for his distraction. He looked all around but still couldn't find him. "Behind? Above?" He asked himself.
"Try below" Naruto said as he jumped up pulling Neji down effectively burying him neck deep in the ground.
"How could I be fooled by an idiot?! Beaten by a loser.... pathetic..." he growled as he struggled to get free.
"Because you were so overconfident that a 'loser' couldn't beat you, you expected to win easily and me to follow what you expected. But ya know something? All the people you classify as losers will easily be able to out manoeuvre you if you don't fight everyone like they can kill you." Naruto said getting down to eye level with the buried Nin.
"I still don't buy it. A loser will always be a loser. No exceptions!" Neji said enraged.
"That maybe but as long as you have the determination to carry on and continue you can overcome anything." Naruto said with a smile. Neji scoffed. "It doesn't matter what happens in the past once its over, what matters is how you react to the present and prepare for the future! The forth Hokage was probably the biggest loser of all time when he was younger ya know. He didn't even finish the academy, but still he went on to do one of the greatest things ever."
Neji glared at the young blonde but Naruto could see him faltering in the losers will always be losers belief. "The kid who couldn't finish the academy went on to be the yondaime, the hero of Konoha, and of course the yellow flash. He didn't give up and neither will I!" Naruto yelled the last part as he punched Neji hard in the head.
As he stood he calmly began to walk away with a wide smirk on his face. 'How long you think before he blows himself out of the hole?'
"I'd give him about 10 seconds"
BOOM!
"Told you"
"fine then.... From here on I will fight you without holding back!" Neji said as he pulled himself out of his crater. "And I will beat you make no mistake"
Naruto chuckled lightly as he blocked a kick to the head. Neji reared back and managed an open palm into Naruto's chest. 'No matter how strong I am I'll still have to watch out for those' Naruto thought as he ducked under another attack. 'And if he catches me in his 64 palms I won't be able to escape' Naruto threw a number of Kuni towards Neji making him Jump back and into the ones with exploding tags on them.
Neji gasped in pain as the kunai exploded around him causing shrapnel to fly towards him. Instinctively he shielded his eyes with his arm. Naruto lunged forward but Neji dodged, but instead of just going to the side he grabbed Naruto's arm. Naruto instantly did a replacement when he felt the touch. As Neji attacked the underside of Naruto's arm he poofed away. Neji was instantly attacked from the side and a foot connected with the bottom of his rib cage. Neji skidded back panting slightly "your fast." he said glaring
"and you're a stubborn know it all with a stick up your ass" Naruto said with a smirk tempting Neji to attack. It worked as Neji threw a few Kuni and Lunged for the blonde as he dodged. Naruto gave a few hits but unfortunately received a few as well.
"I've managed to block 25 percent of your chakra flow, yet you show no signs of weakening" Neji mumbled to himself. He adjusted his sight to better see Naruto's chakra system and his eyes widened slightly at what he saw. 'It looks almost like he has two supplies of chakra being channelled through... this is impossible!' Neji shuddered slightly at the darker splotches of chakra that seemed to be appearing throughout his body.
Naruto took advantage of Neji's lack of concentration and made a hundred shadow clones witch dog piled on top of Neji. As the clones came down like rain Neji bolted forward and managed to hit the real Naruto once before being pummelled by the clones. Neji watched as the malevolent red chakra moved through his system radiating from his stomach mixing with the normal blue one as it went. As Neji tried to defend he realized his chakra reserves were low and instead dodged. Fists and feet were flying everywhere as Neji did his best to dodge. He managed to locate the real Naruto again by pure luck and closed another point. Neji watched intently as he drew a conclusion. 'The more I cut off the more compressed his chakra is and the darker it gets. He's got another supply from somewhere but how?'
Naruto knowing Neji was losing it decided to end it quickly and silently ordered his clones to knock him out. They complied and thus Neji quickly went down. Naruto dispelled his remaining clones and panted heavily making him seem as if he was at his limit as well. As the referee called Naruto the winner he flopped down into a sitting position and held up his arms in victory, and the medic nins ran over to help Neji.
Naruto stiffly propped himself up as Neji was revived by the medic team. Neji rose and hobbled over to where Naruto was seated much to the protest of the medics. He looked half asleep but still managed to refuse the hospital bed and continued over to the panting blonde
when he made it to Naruto he simply crouched down with an extended hand. Naruto shook it. Neji was about to congratulate and threaten the blonde when he fell. He landed square on Naruto's head and as the fates worked they're magic it was Naruto's turn to scream. Hinata glared at her cousin with an icy stare everyone stared wide eyed at her as they felt the killing intent. Neji tried to shoot up like Naruto but ended up on failing legs and fell backwards, passing out before he had a chance to yell.
"WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN EVERY TIME I FIGHT SOMEONE?!?!" he screamed through the spitting. He wiped his tongue across his hands. While everyone laughed. Hinata gave a look that said she wanted her fair share, but once she realized everyone was watching her she immodestly recoiled. She blushed a deep red and pushed her fingers together nervously trying to blend in with the walls.
The examiner coughed before telling Naruto to get off the field. He complied and walked back up to the balcony where most of the rookies were glaring at him thought there were some stray laughs that ruined their glares. As he reached the top and plopped back down he was met with a few fists to the head. "STICK WITH THE NAKED WOMAN JUTSU!" Kiba screamed vocalizing what most were thinking. .
When everyone had calmed down and Neji was forced to the hospital, they listened to the examiner who explained that if Sasuke didn't come soon he would be disqualified. 'Now all I have to do is wait....' Naruto glanced up to where the kage's were 'I know you're still alive you bastard, but you won't be able to kill as many people this time.... I swear it!'
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well there's chapter 28 sorry it took so long but it's up now and that's all that matters right? well anyway I tried to put some of Haku's innuendo's into this chapter but I couldn't find anywhere where they would fit and well flow so here's an omake instead enjoy :)
How to make a proper innuendo with Haku: by Kimcat
"alright class!" Haku said cheerily as he tapped the chalk to the board that had been strapped to a log in the training ground. "I assume you all know why you're here and what were going to be learning about so I'll just get right into it." Haku turned and began writing things on the board.
Team 7 looked at each other nervously while Jiraiya peered down at the group from a near by tree. "Now then in order to make a proper innuendo one must know the style of the innuendo. In order to have your innuendo to work you must make sure it flows with the rest of the sentence. If it doesn't fit the whole experience will just be awkward." Haku said as he drew a chart on the chalk board. "Innuendos can be a hard topic to stay on top of if you're not familiar with them but please try to keep up."
"Now then an innuendo must have a certain rhythm about them in the way they come at you through a sentence. You need to avoid going too fast or too slow otherwise your sentences may become sticky." Naruto blushed slightly as Haku went on. Sakura's eyes went wide and Sasuke looked up thinking he had heard laughter in the trees. "As a humour tool it should stand erect and penetrate the mind of your listeners, though you may not be able to grasp these concepts at first, the more you experiment with them the more you'll understand." Sakura fainted face bright red.
"The thing is not everyone can perform innuendos properly as it does take a bit of oral skill in order to communicate the innuendos fluidly. If you use Innuendos correctly it can be an uplifting experience bringing joy to the person you were aiming for." Haku nodded to himself as he looked to his 'students'
Sasuke eye twitched madly as he continued to listen. "Why am I still sitting here?" he mumbled to himself.
"On a final note Innuendos are often most pleasing when no one expects them... so are there any questions?" Haku asked when he got no reply he smiled "should I continue then?"
"NO!" Naruto and Sasuke Yelled at the same time before bolting away.
"Next time I see Kakashi I'm going to kill him for being late today" Sasuke growled. Naruto nodded in agreement. Jiraiya up in the tree was crying blood trickling down from his nose. "I think I've found my next student" He said happily.
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well there you have it hope you like it. Please send comments and concerns by clicking on the button below. It will not bite your mouse but if you don't click it, or at least pet it, it will be angered and eat all your files!!! And it might give your mouse rabies if you pass over it without clicking it SO BE WARNED!!!!
thanks to Poet bucky for helping me correct this!!