Journal entry N°28- Don's journal:

Stupid Cupid

To some, Valentine's Day is to celebrate love and happiness. To me, it's a bitter reminder of what it could have been but never was.

I remember it like it was yesterday, our first Valentine's Day with a girl in our house, a girl I particularly fancied: April O'Neil.

My feelings towards her were hardly a secret; I longed to spend all my time with her, to get to know her more personally but I wasn't that desperate to become a stalker either and it seemed that the universe was working on my favor because there was always a mission, always something to repair, always something to discuss and plan so I really didn't need much of a excuse to be with her.

I have to confess it wasn't attraction what drove me towards April the first time I saw her, it was plain curiosity. She was the first human my brothers and I had encountered so, naturally, my scientific instincts kicked in. Later on I noticed she was into science and technology as much as I was; finally I had someone to talk and ramble nonstop about my ideas and inventions without sounding boring or nerdy!

That's where I believe my feelings started evolving.

I knew I was merely a kid and she was a grown up woman, we were different species and I had nothing to offer her but I knew I could make her happy or at least try twice as hard. However, the logical part of me kept me from ever telling her although I'm pretty sure she knew but didn't say anything to spare my feelings.

Then we met Casey Jones.

I'd be lying if I said I liked him when we first met. His personality, his manners, his destructive behavior… it was like seeing another Raphael and I had already enough with one but none of that scared me more than the fact that he was a threat to mine and April's relationship- if there was one. On the other hand I was well aware they had nothing in common but, again, the logical part screamed at me: "opposites attract".

And it's exactly what happened.

Days passed and I noticed April slipping Casey's name into our conversations more often than before, it didn't bother me greatly but it still hurt. Then she began to cancel our plans, she didn't reply her e-mails and texts as fast as she used to… and that hickey…

I'd never felt so stupid in my life. What hurt the most was to think I ever had a chance with her… or maybe I did have a chance? Maybe I could still tell her, I could try one more time and then… well… wait. Just wait.

And so we go back to the topic that brought us all here: Valentine's Day.

I knew she had plans for the evening but she was free all morning. Perfect. So I bought some flowers and had a speech ready; I was going to pour my feelings, expose my heart to her despite what the consequence of my actions might be. I went to the antique shop but surprisingly, it was closed.

Weird.

She hadn't told me she was going to take the day off. After all on a day like that there were always last minute shoppers and she could use the extra money, not that she needed it so desperately anyway. Seeing there was no use on waiting there, I took the emergency stairs to reach the window on the second floor.

And then I saw them. April and Casey in the living room smiling and staring lovingly at each other while they slow danced; they were still in their pajamas and looked drowsy as if they had just left the bed but none of that mattered to them. The music stopped and they shared a long, passionate kiss after whispering a sweet "I love you" to each other.

I had prepared myself for anything but I didn't realize the pain could be so… unbearable. It was like my heart had been ripped out my chest and then fed to rabid dogs.

But even in my moment of sorrow I realized… I couldn't do it. I couldn't ruin this for them, for April.

She had found love, she was truly happy. If I went there now- or any other day- and told her how I felt for her our friendship would be forever ruined and not only April and mine, Casey had also become a good friend, almost like another big brother; I would lose two good friends and end up with nothing at all.

I was about to leave when Casey noticed me outside and invited me in. I tried to leave but April insisted and I couldn't say no to her. I gave her the flowers and said it was a gift from my brothers and I before I excused myself I fled from the apartment as fast as possible. I couldn't stay there any longer.

I won't deny I cried all the way to the lair, I even had to stop a couple of times to compose myself before continuing.

Many years have passed since that day. April is no longer an O'Neil, she's a Jones now, happily married and expecting her first baby. I grew up, turned eighteen, my feelings towards her changed again and she became a big sister and, in occasions, a mother to me and my brothers.

However the memories of the day I almost confessed to the woman of my dreams still haunt me every damned Valentine's Day.

With all the weird things my brothers and I have encountered, it wouldn't surprise me if we ever get to meet the real Cupid but if I do meet him, I'll make sure to put an arrow between his eyes, see how he likes it.

End of Journal entry N°28

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It's not easy being green~

Happy V-day everyone.