The impermanent has no reality; reality lies in the eternal. Those who have seen the boundary between these two have attained the end of all knowledge. Realize that which pervades the universe and is indestructible; no power can affect this unchanging, imperishable reality. The body is mortal, but he who dwells in the body is immortal and immeasurable. Therefore, Arjuna, fight in this battle.
One man believes he is the slayer, another believes he is the slain. Both are ignorant; there is neither the slayer nor the slain. You were never born; you will never die. You have never changed; you can never change. Unborn, eternal, immutable, immemorial, you do not die when the body dies. Realizing that which is indestructible, eternal, unborn, and unchanging, how can you slay another or cause another to slay?
-The Bhagavad Gita
"Batarians do not surrender to humans." The gruff voice over the intercom cracked with hysteria, the flashing red lights all around them transforming the narrow, sterile hall they were fighting their way down into a hellish nightmare of a place. The pirates, the best of anything they had fought out here but still mostly useless, were churning in the hallway ahead, crashing into each other, not at all prepared for the tightly coordinated teamwork that closed fighting entailed. "We will kill you all! Retreat while I'm feeling merciful!"
And so on. Such posturing was beneath the notice of Commander Shepard as Tali blew a hole in one of the ventilation tubes lining the walls and a geyser of white steam erupted among their attackers. They kicked and shouted, flailing their arms in a vain attempt at sight while the three invaders stood stalk still in the centre of the hallway picking them off with an air of definite boredom. Some of them cursed and screamed, some of them fought with a quiet determination that made Shepard think under different circumstances, in a different world maybe, they could have been real fighters. Regardless of such thoughts, they needed to die, and she killed them without regret.
"How's it going on your end, Garrus?" She asked, pressing her radio closer to her ear to block out peripheral noise from her M-6 as it blew the face off a man six feet away. Jack let out a savage, trilling war cry as she chambered another shot and then decided to smash her opponents face in with the butt of her gun as he managed to claw his way out of the billowing steam. The communications channel crackled for a moment and then she could hear the turian give a brusque, slightly garbled order before he answered.
"They had a guy with an Avalanche." He replied, an explosion going off somewhere in the background. Shepard lowered her gun as the last pirate was violently thrown back, bouncing off the ceiling and then off the floor and back to the ceiling at a single, well-placed blast of biotic energy from Jack. The other woman hooted and raised both hands above her head.
"Five points!" She declared.
"Three." Shepard argued. "One for every bounce."
"Plus two for style." Jack replied, crossing her arms stubbornly. Shepard sighed and let her have it, and the other woman smirked happily and typed at her omnitool. Shepard shuddered to think of the kind of things that the other woman used to tally her arbitrarily awarded points.
"Are you in trouble?" Shepard asked. Before she had started using cryo weapons she had always thought them to be just another form of military witchcraft, fine for certain situations but really not on par with a few grenades in the right places. They were so frowned upon by the Council that she rarely encountered them anyway. Since coming to the Terminus Systems she could fully understand why they were treated with such distaste by any society that loved law and order.
"Of course not, it was no problem." Garrus sounded as bored as her, and a small smile touched her lips. "Krios got him before the bastard could even reload the thing. But that was pretty much the most interesting thing I could say. Things here are like they always are when we do this, Shepard."
"Roger that. You finish clearing out the engine rooms and we'll eliminate the bridge crew." She popped open the security console by the final door sealing them from the captain and a few officer-rank staff.
"Yeah, yeah, I know the drill. Are you going to come play poker with us tonight?" Garrus asked. She could hear a short burst of assault rifle fire on his end as she fiddled with the last few circuits, then silence. She paused for a moment, wondering why she was getting this invitation from him, and then remembered that bypassing a door was not exactly something she could take her time on. She swore as the circuits sparked and sizzled under her fingers.
"Not tonight. I have some things I need to do." She replied, sticking her tongue out between her teeth as she squinted at the surprisingly complex contraption. "But I'll take a rain check. Since when do you come to poker night anyway?"
"Since Tali started inviting me." He replied, sounding smug. Shepard glanced over her shoulder at the quarian who was studiously examining the ceiling and walls in a fashion that made it impossible to catch her eyes. She allowed herself a silent and extremely satisfied smirk. The holopad projected over the doorway flashed from red to green as she finished her bypass and she stood, slapping her shotgun into both hands.
"We've got to get going, so I'll have to make suggestive comments and waggle my eyebrows later." She said, swinging her head from side to side in order to crack her neck.
"Looking forward to it." Garrus replied. She laughed, and hit the holopad to allow them access to the final stage of their cleansing effort.
"We surrender!" The captain shouted, as they entered with guns drawn. Tali and Jack immediately moved out on either side of her, shotguns out. Together they formed a perfect trinity of close-combat slaughter, as evidenced by their bloody battle to this room and the trail of corpses it had produced. The only people remaining were the captain, a pale and somewhat sickly looking batarian and his cloister of what amounted to executive officers on pirate vessels. Or so she thought, they were as dirty and lice-ridden as the foot soldiers they had blown apart in their effort to reach this room, so it was hard to really tell if they were anything more that the grunts that happened to be on hand when the captain lost his nerve.
As her companions directed the officers to their knees, hands folded over their heads, Shepard beckoned the captain forward. He came, his stride faltering as she hefted the heavy barrel of her gun onto her shoulder and fixed him with her eternally eclipsing eyes, the ring of orange light circling blackness. He bowed his head after a moment, incapable of keeping her gaze. "I don't suppose I have to tell you that this is an unconditional surrender?"
"Batarian battle customs make certain demands of a captain." The man replied, sounding little more than tired and run down now that he knew it was over. "But I would rather be a living coward then a glorious corpse, so unconditional surrender suits me just fine. What do you want?"
"I want all the information stored in your computers about who you're smuggling red sand for and where it's going." She replied. "I want your navigational charts and histories, I want your ship and all your weapons and armour. I want all your money and I also want to jettison all dangerous contraband and narcotics."
The captain gaped at her for a moment, running his hand over his skull. "And where does this leave me? Are you just going to toss my crew and I out an airlock to take our ship?"
"I don't really care what happens to you, captain. You may take the onboard shuttle from this ship and depart with no weapons or credits to go wherever you wish. You may choose to face justice on Ikor, the nearest colonized planet you have victimized or I can take you to stand before the Alliance on smuggling charges. It's really up to you." She turned to see that Jack and Tali had finished binding the surrendered officers and securing their confiscated weapons. She nodded in their directions. "My friends will make sure you're comfortable while you talk it over with your crew."
Words seemed to fail him. Tali had to grab his arm and drag him back to join the rest of his crewmates, who started jabbering nervously in his direction at once. Shepard went to the command console and unlocked all the doors in ship to facilitate Garrus' cleanup of the lower decks and began establishing a connection for EDI. After a moment, Tali appeared at her side. With their hands and legs bound Jack was more than capable of keeping control of their captives. She held her shotgun braced lazily against her hip, dark eyes monitoring the situation with a sort of bored amusement.
"You're looking good, Shepard. Well rested." The quarian commented, trying for casual conversation and folding her hands in front of herself/ Shepard was watching as the screens flashed and EDI began draining the systems of all vital information, columns of data shifting by much to fast for an organic eye to follow. She glanced up, her fingers leaving the keyboard and leaned back against the console as they waited for the AI to finish her downloads. It was, as ever, impossible to read the other woman's facial expressions, but she could hear the note of concern underlying the statement.
"I'm… handling it." She replied after a moment. "I'm still not entirely sure how I feel about a lot of things, but I've figured some stuff out. I've got it under control." She met the other woman's eyes, her gaze level and controlled, her eyes completely clear for the first time in weeks. The weight of the galaxy rested on her shoulders, on the undeniably powerful but ultimately fragile and impermanent woman that existed behind the mantle of Galactic Saviour. She was not sure if there was a point where it would break her, where she would prove ultimately unable to carry the burdens that had been heaped upon her. But if there was a limit, she had not found it yet. She was not finished. "I'm going to be fine."
Tali seemed to visibly relax after a moment, her hands falling away from their nervous fidgeting and Shepard could see her luminous eyes tilt up under the mask in the way they did when she smiled. After months of trying to persuade everyone that she was not going to fall apart at any moment, it seemed she had finally succeeded. When the console beeped a moment later, Shepard grinned and clapped the young machinist on the shoulder, as EDI's white orb reappeared.
"Data mine is complete, Shepard." The AI intoned. "I have accessed transactions between this group and several other groups smuggling in the surrounding fringe systems. They seem to be working for Eclipse." Shepard nodded, pulling her helmet out and rubbing at the sweat-matted curls that covered her head. Everything seemed to be progressing in a reasonable sense. She could already see the many different ways she could work all this to her advantage, her agile mind shifting through different situations and consequences with ease.
"Let's stick to the fringe systems for now." She decided finally. As much as she was itching to go and fight someone who knew what a scope was for it would be foolish of her to rush headlong into a major crime syndicate out here, where there was no backup and nowhere to retreat should things go awry. This was time for patience and calculated strategy, building strength and moving forward only after the back position was fortified. It would all pay off when the Reapers showed up, she was sure. "We'll cut them off from some profit and get them to come to us."
"Acknowledged. I shall update the galaxy map. In addition, I have discovered that the destination for much of this red sand is indeed Council space, and I have acquired the names of several buyers and corrupt customs officials." The AI chimed. Shepard glanced over at the captain who was looking pale and resigned as his crew members continued to argue among themselves. Jack glanced in their direction and shook her head with a look of disgust. They were going to have to do some real fighting soon.
"Send a list of the names and a copy of the data to Councillor Anderson." She instructed. "He can share the information and deal with the perpetrators as he sees fit."
"Acknowledged. Logging out." EDI replied, before the console went dim and Shepard strode back to her captives.
"Have you made your decision?" She asked.
"We have, human." It was not the captain but some member of his surrounding officers that spoke, spitting the name of her species over her boots like it was a curse. Shepard felt her lip curl in instant distaste and ignored him, staring instead at the captain who was involved in a detailed examination of his knees where they were braced against the steel floor.
"We choose death before the cowardly fates you offer. Batarians do not go to prison." She finally looked up to him when it became obvious that the captain was utterly broken and would not respond to anything she said or did at this point. Her gaze was pointed and fierce as she turned, only slightly, to face the much younger and braver crew mate.
"Death was not an option I offered." She replied flatly.
"We demand it!" The batarian insisted, struggling to stand and failing since his ankles had been securely strapped together. He hissed in frustration. "This indignity is unacceptable! If your kind knew anything about nobility you would have killed us the moment this coward said he would accept an unconditional surrender."
Shepard made a disgusted sound before she turned away, tapping at her radio to contact Garrus. "Take the shuttle then. If you want death, it should be easy enough for you to seek it on your own terms. I won't be dragged into it."
The batarian gaped at her, then lowered his head, laughing dully in his chest. "The Butcher of Torfan refusing to kill batarians. It's a story to tell the grandchildren." He mused bitterly. It was intended to enrage her, she knew that even as she stopped and felt her hand clench into a tight fist. Two years ago she would have shot someone for making a comment like that, she knew. At the moment she could imagine nothing sweeter than pistol whipping the bastard, and maybe kicking him a couple time for good measure.
After a moment she moved away, ignoring him again, and spoke into her radio.
"How are you guys doing?" She asked.
"Fine, fine." Came the dry, resonate voice of the second team lead. "How was storming the bridge?"
"It was good. They surrendered." She replied, grinning at his conversational tone. Although nervous at first, perhaps because of what had happened to his team on Omega, Garrus had been nervous about becoming the second assault team captain in the few situations where two were needed. His confidence had returned quickly after the Collector Base had been destroyed, however, and now he led a team with the same powerful confidence that Shepard recognized in herself. It made her very proud to see him do so well, but she had never told him that outright. It would just make him nervous again.
"Fancy that." She could hear him grinning through the audio chip installed in her helmet and grinned back. "Cocktails in the shuttle then?"
"I'll meet you there." She replied, laughing. Whatever additional barbs the mouthy crew member tried to throw at her, Shepard barely heard them. By the time they made it down to the shuttle bay with their captives he had given up entirely and his chin sagged against his chest, his eyes on the ground as they were shepherded up the ramp into their tiny little ship. There were only enough seats for four, so most of them had to stand, slightly bent over, and looking around the barren little thing with large, hopeless eyes.
"How is this less cruel than just shooting us?" He tried one last time, before the ramp pulled up.
"People have survived worse circumstances than yours." Shepard replied, crossing her arms over her chest. "Have faith."
He laughed at her, and the door closed. They watched as the ship slid through the flickering wall of violet energy shields that prevented the vacuum from sucking the air out of the shuttle bay when the enormous door opened wide, yawning out onto the void. Shepards skin itched as she waited for it to close, never comfortable with the darkness of space leering like a great black mouth so near and unguarded. Jack sighed and rubbed her head.
"Gotta say, Shepard. It seems kinda cold. No food or water, no guns to protect themselves." She admitted. "That's not like you, not like Robin Hood."
"Or a White Knight." Tali cut in helpfully. Both of them turned and raised an eyebrow at her. She shrugged. "What? That's what they've been calling you on the vids, recently." She nodded in Shepard's direction. "The White Knight of the Terminus Systems. Fighting injustice, defending the weak and spreading the wealth throughout the lowest denominations of society. And, you know, because you wear white armour."
Shepard paused, her eyes deep in thought. "The White Knight of the Terminus Systems?" She asked, tasting the words as she spoke them. After a moment she shrugged. "Beats the Butcher of Torfan, at least. Than again, even Robin Hood beats that. In any event, I don't really care what they call me. Those men made a choice to butcher and steal, to take everything from everyone they came across. I don't know what will happen to them, out there, anymore than they ever knew what would happen to the orphans and widows they left with nothing after every attack. This is-" She stopped herself before she said it, before she dropped that little word that had been kicking around in her mind more and more lately. Karma. Cosmic justice. "This is the only option they gave me. I would have gladly taken them to prison, but that's not what they wanted. They chose to put themselves in the position where I would have to attack them, they chose to surrender, and they chose their fate."
After a moment Jack shrugged. "I would have killed them, like they asked." She said, sounding like the whole thing did not really matter that much, which was true.
"I don't kill people who have surrendered." Shepard replied, pulling up her omnitool. She surfed the next destinations available as they waited for Garrus' team to make its way back up to them. When they appeared, none of them really looking like they had even been in a fight at all, they all clambered back into the shuttle and set off toward the Normandy again. A basic crew would be split from the staff and assigned to pilot the new ship to whatever colony Shepard decided to give it to. But first, as she had said, she had some things to do.
"EDI? Engage a gravitational tow line on the ship and put it in orbit around the moon alongside the Normandy." She instructed as they sailed through the door and into open space. From here the Normandy looked tiny, a sliver of tin floating above an enormous world, that looked tiny itself in the limitless expanse of cold lights twinkling around it. In the distance, the light of the great yellow star Surya was the only thing that did not seem insignificant. But that was perhaps only because it was shining so hard in her eyes.
"Of course Shepard. Did you want me to have the supplies you requested prepared for you when the shuttle docks?" The AI asked, always helpful.
"That would be fine, thank you." She replied, tapping the radio to signal the end of discussion as she always did. It was a decidedly unmilitary habit that she had none the less picked up during command school, during combat simulations so fast and realistic that words proved to be a major waste of time.
"Supplies?" Garrus asked, flaring his mandibles. "Where are we going now?"
"I'm going back." She replied, staring out the window at the planet below them. "Down there. Just for two days. I have… I have some things I need to do."
There was silence in the shuttle and Shepard looked down as she felt a hand on hers, then up into the large black eyes of the hands owner, who was regarding her with undisguised tenderness. She felt a blush prickle her cheek and fought her urge to shy away, to be discreet among others. It had been so long since she had the freedom to be open about any of her feelings that it felt somehow wrong, as though it would be weak and unseemly to show affection in front of her crew. She had already told Thane that she needed to do this, though she had been unable to explain what exactly this was. A pilgrimage of sorts. A duty. Whatever the name for it, she knew she could not turn her back to the planet of Mindoir until she did what she had to do. After a moment she wrapped her hand around his and smiled gently, under the lip of reflective glass that obscured most of her face.
Then, she kicked Garrus in the shin for flaring his mandibles a little too cheekily at her when she met his eyes again. His swearing made them all laugh as the Normandy opened her doors for them and they sailed gracefully back to the ship that had somehow managed become a home for each of them in the recent months.
"I thought you were going to make suggestive comments and waggle your eyebrows at me." Garrus said as they clambered down the ramp. Shepard saw that a small bundle of the promised supplies had been left for her, wrapped in rain proof tarps and tied with neat, military knots. The absence of any human hands that might have done this was somewhat strange, as it made it seem almost like EDI had placed the bundles there herself. She put a hand on her friends shoulder and grinned at him.
"Don't worry, I'll have plenty of time to mercilessly tease you and pry out all the undoubtedly delicious details." She assured him. He rolled his dark eyes, a gesture he had picked up from spending so much time around other species, she assumed, since she had never seen another turian do it.
"I can't wait. Just remember that I'm not the one that disappeared for almost twenty hours at the exact same time as a certain green assassin." He replied. "I'm sure I'll get all sorts of blackmail material myself."
"Nope. I'm solid as a rock, Alliance-grade anti-interrogation training and everything." She thumped her chest plate with one hand as Thane approached, carrying two of the bundles of supplies and giving them a strange look, one of the scaled ridges over his eyes arching in question. Garrus narrowed his eyes at her and said nothing, but she could tell this was not the end of their conversation.
"I wish you weren't going alone." Thane said, once the other crew members had left. He set the bundles down in the back of the shuttle and stood beside her as she pulled her helmet off. His dark eyes searched hers as she tossed the thing on the seat and faced him, trying to look confident despite her insecurity. After a moment of it not working, at least not against him, she sighed and her shoulders relaxed visibly.
"I can't explain it to you right now, Rama, at least not any better than I already have. This is just something I need to do, and I have to do it alone." She said. She had said the exact same thing to him as they got dressed a few hours ago, hurriedly slapping on clothing after EDI had informed them that the pirate ship had just entered the system and was making its way toward the planet. "I grew up on Mindoir. I know what I'm doing. I'll be fine."
He nodded after a moment. "I know you will." He said, leaning forward to kiss her. She wound her arms around his neck and leaned into him, trying to keep her shifting plates from pinching him as he ran his fingers through her damp hair and held her close for a long moment, apparently not caring if they did. After too short a time they parted and he walked down the ramp, his hand falling down her arm, tracing her palm and the length of her long fingers before they finally parted and the door began to swing closed. The auto pilot engaged, lifting the vessel from the floor and she sat down heavily, running her hands through her hair. She spent the journey down getting out of her armour, although she knew it was unwise to spend time on a planet as uncharted as Mindoir in civilian clothes, she also knew her armour would just get in the way of everything she had to do down there.
A lot of hard work was waiting for her, there among the distant mountains and silent streets that had once been home.