Journal entry N° 31-Raph's journal:

I can't even.

I said it before and I'll say it again: Mikey is a weird kid.

Before you start bitching at me, just hear me out. I love the knucklehead to pieces (won't ever hear me saying that out loud but I'm sure he knows it) HOWEVER I still can't understand how that mind of his works and I bet my shell no one in the world will decipher that shit.

Now, I ain't saying he's dumb; he can be so fucking smart is scary. Don's words, not mine. Not to mention he's really good at dealing with people's emotions and feelings and stuff, kinda like a mini Splinter or something. But sometimes… sometimes…

Ugh, how do I explain this?

…

"Raphie, am I pretty?"

Normally, Raph would've ignored his youngest brother and his weird antics but it was sort of impossible at the moment as he was stuck under the BattleShell with an oil leak that needed to be repaired stat and no Donatello around to fix it and endure Michelangelo's crazy ramblings.

"Did you raid Don's med cabinet again? Because you're tripping, kid"

Mikey's cheerful expression dropped immediately. "C'mon. It's a pretty simple question"

"Why don't you go ask April? I'm busy"

"Because she's a human! Humans don't know anything about turtle beauty"

"And I do because?"

"Uh… because you're a turtle too?"

Raph sighed heavily and glanced up at his brother who was comfortably sprawled out on the truck's hood. "You do know I'd like to crack your head open and have Donnie study how your brain works, right?"

Mikey tsked twice, shaking his head. "Splinter said you can't do that or you'll be banned from going out for a month. Or do I have to remind you of that other time when you tried to see if I wasn't allergic to bees?"

"Oh c'mon, it was just one bee! I did want to throw the complete bee hive at you so better thank Don for stopping me"

"It still hurt though!" Mikey replied, sounding a little offended. "Look, would you just answer me?"

"No"

"Aww, c'mon! Pleeeeease! Please please please please please please-"

"-FINE! You're…pretty" Came Raph's answer between gritted teeth. "You happy? Can you leave me alone now?"

"You're just saying that. You have to be honest"

Raph could picture his brother pouting just right now which amused him a little. "I answered your stupid question already"

There was a moment of silence between them only interrupted by the sound of tools and Raph's mumbled curses when he failed to find the source of the leak once again. But as it always happened with all the moment of peace he had, it was short lived.

"Before the computer was invented, what was the guy that made it thinking? Did he know it was going to be a cool thing or did he fear he was gonna get burned like those chicks people said were witches?"

"Dammit, Mikey! You're doing it again!"

"Doing what again?"

"…nevermind"

The older turtle continued working, making a mental note to strangle Donatello when he got back from the junkyard for leaving him alone with his nutcase of a brother.

"Do people really see a bright light when they're gonna die?"

And there it was again, yet another random topic that just happened to pop out. "I don't know. Why don't we test that on you?"

"Remember what Splinter said" Mikey said in a singsong tone that just fueled Raph's anger.

"Just me that stupid wrench over there, will you?"

The youngest stretched his hand and grabbed the tool but before he handed it over to his brother, he stared at it from all angles as another thought came to mind.

"Who started naming stuff? And how did they know how to name it? Like, why call it a wrench?"

"I don't fucking know!" Raph growled, snatching the tool from Mikey's hands.

"Do cats understand us or they just play dumb? Because I've seen Klunk roll his eyes at me sometimes. Talk about rude"

"Gee, I wonder why"

"I bet he learned that from you" Mikey said, looking down at his brother accusingly. "You're a bad uncle, you know that?"

"And there go my feelings…"

"But you're not bad-bad. Otherwise you wouldn't feed my baby when I'm busy"

"If I don't do it then he won't shut up. Wait… is that what I need to do so to shut you up?" Raph grinned, looking up at Mikey who wasn't at all amused.

"Haha. You're hilarious"

Raph shrugged. "I try"

Another moment of silence the bigger terrapin expected to end soon to his surprise gradually extended itself. No comebacks, no randomness, nothing… only silence. For a moment Raph thought the youngest had finally gotten bored and left but he could hear his brother nearby humming a catchy pop song; the other explanation was that Mikey had ran out of topics to discuss for the day, which would be a first.

"Raphie?"

Ah, so he wasn't done yet. Raph groaned preparing himself for whatever weird thought crossed Mikey's mind.

"What will our purpose in life be in the future?"

Alright, that was unexpected.

"I know we were kind of an accident and dad says things happen for a reason but once all evil is gone, what will our purpose be?" Mikey continued. "It's not like we can do something else. We already tried and look how well that turned out"

"Mikey…"

"I mean, Don was a total mess, kids were starting to give me nightmares, you were gone doing your own thing just like Leo. We weren't a family anymore"

"Mikey!"

"So let's say we retire and go back to work as normal humans. People won't even remember us! That's actually the saddest part because we've done epic stuff. Well, at least Cody remembers us but that's in the future! We won't be there by then and-"

"MICHELANGELO! God dammit, will you let me talk?" Raph snapped finally getting Mikey's attention.

He pushed himself from under the heavy vehicle and sat up and look at the youngest. "We still have shit to do here until we die, ok? There's always gonna be street punks to beat up and stuff. And when we grow old, we'll be happily retired, taking care of April and Casey's kids and grandkids, maybe even leave longer than that! We are turtles after all; if our cousins have a long lifespan then why can't we?"

"So… we won't just grow old and die and be forgotten?" Mikey asked, sounding a bit more hopeful.

Raph shook his head, smiling a little. "I don't think so. No"

The youngest visibly relaxed returning the smile and that was Raph's cue to get back to work.

If Raph was honest with himself, he didn't really mind having this kind of conversations with Mikey. Sure, he could be a bit annoying and odd at times but moments like this strengthened their bond which was vital for the sake of the family and the team. It made him wonder if he should have sessions like this with his other two brothers or just prolong his bonding time with Mikey.

"Hey, what do you think it makes me pretty? Is it my eyes, my smile, my awesome freckles…"

"Oh my- LEO, HE'S DOING IT AGAIN!" On second thought, he'd rather die than having to endure this three times a day.

End of Journal entry N°31

….

….

Whoa, what's this? An update? Everyone, kiss your butts good bye because the world is going to end!

Ok, maybe no. But yeah, an update. Kind of a big deal, I guess… or not.

I don't know.