SLASH Rated T16+ - language, some blooper-ish stupidity & gore.

ALL IS FICTIONAL & NOT MINE.

Pranks Gone Wrong:

Holy Charms!

"Swiggly! Swiggly, what're you doing here? Where's Mr. Finlay? And why're you itsy-bitsy like a baby?" the younger Hardy kipped up from the floor and hugged a mini-miniature Hornswoggle. The Irishman looked about five years old and wearing an oversized bumblebee costume. The wings sagged down his shoulder blades as the yellow and black striped butt pointed down with a sad-looking stinger, his antennas bobbed perfectly to his nodding and incoherent mumbling to the taller blonde.

"He's gone to the adult Clubhouse for Witch's Brew and you had a feast to become so small?" Jeff quickly translated as soon as the Irish child 'spoke', he peeped around not waiting for an answer. An ominous full moon hung low and large above their heads with occasional clouds passing through the round sphere, 'mmmmm…Swiss Cheese!', pumpkins tall as a crowded street of houses towered dauntingly to their height, 'Giant Pie-to-be!', sun-yellow pumpkin blossoms silently sat up closed and awaiting the day after Halloween, 'I'll take some for Lita'. He felt a tug at his costume sleeve and glanced back down to the questioning little bee, "Swiggly, how'd you get down here?"

"You were playing Ding-Dong-Ditch with Punkie and Cody, and then the pig-gutter man upstairs caught you,-Agh! He Just Makes Me So Mad-!" the 'enigma' angrily strode off topic from deciphering his friend to kicking his toe right into an under-ripe squash out of anger, then hopped about cursing 'ow-ow-ow-owie-owee-ouch-ouch…', landing on his butt, Hornswoggle patted the blonde, "…thank you, Swiggley, oh, right!…- and he threw you over the shoulder, and he dumped you down the chute, and you landed in the pumpkin patch, and you heard me singing…-?"

"How dare you say my memory's untrustworthy. Why, I have Perfect memory like an elephant!" Jeff scolded his friend as Hornswoggle waved his hands in the air, shaking his sagging bumblebee butt and garbled his answer in agitation, "So, um, Swiggly, where was I?"

"Oh! And then you heard me singing -we're gonna talk about that later- and I woke you up when I started talking alotta sh- Hey! That's a bad word, Swiggley! Who taught you that!" the taller blonde asked, the five year old Irishman only crossed his arms on his chest in reply, the younger Hardy's eyes fired up, "Typical Punkie-Punkie-Philly-Cheeze? Imma be sure to lay down the law with his attitude!"

"Where are we?" they both turned round and round until Hornswoggle grunted, "That makes two of us…"

"Ohhh…it's a house," both wondering pairs of green eyes peeked up at the tower-looking building. Rotting black tiles and pillars framed the outer walls, encasing an overwhelming mystery behind the long panes of gleaming glass. Between them and the mansion was a boundary of thick rusting iron fencing. Thick foliages of ivy and pumpkin vines grew wild on the hooks, suspending many heavy orange squash yards off the green fanned soils, each looked about to fall from their stems and atop whatever wandered beneath it's weight. Jeff whistled shakily as a chill passed under his untied hair and into the neck of his costume, "We're sitting behind a house in a garden."

"It gives me the willies," he breathlessly declared, Hornswoggle only nodded in sure agreement. Whispers of rustling pumpkin leaves made Jeff's hair stand on end, he jumped right behind the Irishman, "Huh! WhuWuzThat!"

"Hold Me, Swiggly!" wrapping both arms around the itsy bitsy bumblebee, the 'enigma' squeezed, turning his friend's face blue in the process.

"Swiggly, if this is it, I want you to know that I have your back," Jeff quickly prayed into the gasping figure that flapped about in desperate oxygen deprivation, he squeezed harder, "And you better have mine when I take a head start running (and screaming like a girl) into any direction."

"Here it comes!" half past caring, Hornswoggle gritted his teeth and thought of bubbles, the sky and the viper-worthy grip that Jeff had on him. The younger Hardy ducked his head behind the wrinkling bee's wing, "I can't look!"

"No! I'm keeping my eyes closed!" the Irishman wriggled in the unusually strong grasp, "It's safe?"

"See! No Fear!" Jeff stood up and dropped Hornswoggle, "…no fear…Jeff Hardy is not afraid of anything…"

"I am Not. You were the one holding My hand," the 'enigma' pouted down to the accusing finger pointed up at him and stooped down to argue with the angry bee-leprechaun who grunted at him, "Am Not!- Am Not! - Am! Not! - AM! NOT!"

"…help…"

"Whuwuzzat!" forgetting their exchange, the taller picked up Hornswoggle and stood the five year old bee before himself once again. Jeff gathered all his courage and peeped between the bee's bobbing antennas, his eyes widened to his horror. Off in the distance, the green leaves parted and shook, closer and closer the still fans parted, wider and wider the space between left and right became. The two friends froze in anticipation.

"Food!" the smaller blonde shouted at a glazed gumball as big as a beach ball. The Irishman immediately pushed Jeff back and shielded the gumball behind his yellow and black-striped body, the taller pleaded with his eyes, "Gimme-Gimme, Swiggly! ~pweeese…"

"C'mere! And you call yourself a Bee!" Jeff sprinted after the little bee who turned and began rolling the sugar ball away. Cutting around pumpkins and under leaves easier than the taller, he dodged looming orange vegetables while the younger Hardy occasionally splatted up against the waxy flesh and resumed after the bouncing yellow antennas. Out of breath and bruised to the bone, he worked up a threat, "Swiggley, Mr. Finlay's gonna hear about this!"

Hornswoggle froze mid-roll and bowled the giant candy right out from under the fence, a black lake being behind the fence under a steep hill. Jeff dove under the hole and caught glossy pink sphere from splashing into the water, just a quickly, it slipped and bounced right in with a graceful 'plip!' The blonde's jaw dropped to the floor. The Irishman grunted again.

"No, I'm not crazy. I'm hungry!" the younger Hardy whined, then popped in a handful of bright cubes that happened to land in his lap from the sky. Without hesitating, he gobbled the whole bunch and chewed at the juicy bits, "Ooh! Fruit Taffy!"

"Yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-!" he sang appreciatively. Hornswoggle's face dropped to the wet masticating smacking of the lips around the strangely appearing candy, "…yummy in Jeffie's Tummy…Whew!"

Jeff slapped the bumblebee's hands away from his neck and cheeks, "Don't wanna! - Get your own mouthful!"

"Aw-W! You're Starving Me!" the 'enigma' pouted now that the candy slipped out his mouth and was punted through the fence, slumping his shoulders to the barrage of grunted lecture that ensued, "What d'you mean it sucked the years off me? - That ain't universally possible. - Really. Where's the time machine then? Show me."

The kindergarten bumblebee thought a moment and pulled a leaf from one of the vines, filled the cup-like surface with dew and handed it to Jeff. The blonde pouted deeper, taking the leaf he marveled at his young face, "I'm back in middle school. Swiggly, I'm back in middle school…"

"Whoo-Hoo! Y'know what this means, Swiggley!" mini-Jeff squeaked with his tiny voice, he jumped in the air and danced around the confused Irish child, "Matt can't make do laundry and that Bully upstairs can't tell me to grow up!"

"Let the tooth decay of the century begin!" the 'enigma' declared as he stepped out of the too big costume and danced around some more in only his underclothes, "The tooth fairy is gonna make bank with my teeth…- Because, oh-young-one, none of my pearls are fake. - Take that back, Swiggley!"

Chest to stomach came the two, glaring and challenging one another. Jeff in his boxers and fishnet long sleeves and Hornswoggle in the sagging bee costume, "Am Not! - Am Not! - Am Not! - Hey, you, too! - Are, Too! - Are, Too! - Are, Too! - Are, Too!…-'tKnowAboutMe! Hah!"

"HELP!"

"Dija hear that, Swiggley?" the two jumped, catching each other in their arms as they frantically glanced about the huge pumpkin patch, and quietly sunk beneath the leaves covering their waists, Jeff cautiously whispered, "I swear that kinda sounded like Shawn twenty years ago…"

"HELP!" went that same voice, then, "I STILL NEED TO RINSE THE CONDITIONER OFF!"

"It is Shawn! Gosh, what're we gonna do!" the younger Hardy popped up from under the leaves and paced around furiously, Hornswoggle suggested a plan, "Save him? Get your head out of the rainbow pots, Swiggley… I've got an idea. Why don't we save Shawn, it's the most perfect Stupid-proof plan!"

"Of course I know what I'm doin," he scolded to his bumblebee, then laughed as he pulled up the boxers, "Me scared? Have a little faith, Swiggley. After all, I'm never Ever gonna grow up."

'Yippee, I've got my life pinned on a hyper 7 year old Hardy brother in a Semi-haunted Halloween Mansion's garden under some Killer's deserted house full of sugar spooks and monsters with the 'Sexy Boy' yelling for help some miles away. What can possibly Not go wrong?' Hornswoggle skeptically followed a half naked Jeff Hardy off into the Squash jungle spread beyond their own foot power.

Soon coming to a wrought iron gate that lead into the mansion's yard, the 'enigma' quizzically tilted his head side to side at a metal panel with etching of words on it, he read with Hornswoggle occasionally lending a word or two, "Candy is pure, Candy is sweet. All h-hooo-'who' I knew that…K-Kuh-Kuh-'consume' this treasure, Will be redukted-redu-'reduced' to a mere Treat. (It's a poem! I love poetry. Don't you, Swiggley? 'Kay, 'kay, I'll keep reading.) B-Baaan-baaanishin-bashinin-'banishing' base habits of old, Will be ache-acheeevd-'achieved' in hearts of gold. Friendship formed and tested, Are bonds never bested. Hunger for those tempted, And v-vor-vorkavity-'voracity' for others enk-english-enkorged-engorjed-'engorged'…(That was a tough one…)B-braaa-braaav-brarava-bravvv-'bravery' take wing in this haah-huntd-haaahtd-'haunted' hellish forge…"

"Candy is pure, Candy is sweet. All who consume this treasure, Will be reduced to a mere Treat. Banishing base habits of old, Will be achieved in hearts of gold. Friendship formed and tested, Are bonds never bested. Hunger for those tempted, And voracity for others engorged. Bravery take wing in this haunted hellish forge…" Jeff proudly read every stanza, still with the Irish child grunting along, "That was easy…- I too do read better than a two year old!…I'd say second grade…"

"Do you think it's a list of rules, Swiggley?" the younger Hardy put his hands on his boxer decked hips and ground a too large shoe heel into the dirt, "I too am careful. My curiosity just gets the better of me."

"Ooh…gumdrop…" Jeff popped the candy into his mouth that dangled from a string, Hornswoggle pulled a hank of blonde hair to force the face to his level, then he plucked the candy out and released the taller child's jaw, "I was eating that!"

"You're no fun, Swiggley," he pouted and ignored the series of incoherent growls, "Me scared? Look whose talkin: Swiggley Finlay, scared of a few scratches on the wall."

"HELP!" Both heads turned to the source of the sound coming from the brightly lit yard behind the unlocked gates.

"We're comin, Shawn! Keep your pants on!" Jeff agitatedly untangled himself from the squash vines and marched through the gates first, "Err-I mean Chaps!…ooh! That rhymed! D'you think I can make it as a poet, Swiggley?"

Hornswoggle followed, knowing that it was the biggest mistake in his life, '…we're not coming out of here alive…'

Hint taken, slash! Whose the more mature of the pair? Beats me. Something screwy with the candy? Yup. Are the two gonna survive? Even I don't know! Jeff sure does shout a lot, Swiggley sure does think a lot more than our doomed hero & Shawn sure doesn't stay on point with his pain. This is going to be a lo-ooo-ooo-ong Halloween night…