Sorry for the long, long delay, RL got so overwhelmingly in the way, zapping all my creative juices... there will be more to this story than this short chapter, but it may come slower than I originally hoped. Bear with me, and enjoy. I don't own them.
I could smell her perfume, the shampoo in her hair, I could hear my son's childlike snoring next to me, overpowering the tv, but the darkness still surrounded me, five days after surgery. Originally today was the day to remove the bandages, but my doctor frustratingly insisted that to be on the safe side we would wait another day. Obviously she had never been in my place, the waiting was driving me mad, even with Bones and Parker here everyday keeping me entertained, I was ready. Either there was going to be something there, or there wasn't, and whichever way it went, I was ready for the outcome, I needed to know what the rest of my life would be like.
"Booth, maybe we should wake him up, Rebecca will be here any minute..." Bones said softly, interrupting the silence.
"He must be dreaming Bones, I can feel him moving around, wonder what it's about, his dream ya know?" I asked, still so that I could feel his small movements.
"He's moving his hand up and down... sports maybe?" Bones asked.
"Probably basketball... Parker, Parks, hey little man, mom's gonna be here in a little while, I need you to wake up now bub." I said softly at first then getting louder as I felt him stretch beside me.
"I don't wanna go daddy... can't I just stay with you?" He whined.
"You can't stay in the hospital Parker, you know that. But I promise the first weekend I'm home, me and you, we'll go see the Caps, and you can stay the whole weekend, okay?" I said, promising him something I wasn't sure was possible yet.
"But I wanna stay now..." He nearly cried.
"Mom's not gonna like it if she comes in here and your a bear, you know that Parks, she'll ground you like last time. Remember? You didn't have your DS for two weeks... she won't put up with you being difficult. I wish you could stay, I do. I'm sorry little man..." I said, the knife twisting in my heart at his pleas, as I heard Rebecca's footsteps in the hall.
"Hey Parker, you almost ready to go?" She said from the doorway.
"Hi Beccs, he just woke up, he zonked out for a good hour. Give him a few minutes to grab all his stuff." I offered, trying to give him time to calm down.
"Temperance, how is work going?" Rebecca asked Bones, as Parker jumped down off the bed.
"It's slow right now, I've been working on older remains for the better part of a month now. Oh, Parker don't forget your school bag." Bones answered.
"Thanks Bones." Parker mumbled angrily.
"Come here Parker." I said waiting for him to climb back up. "What I said before, about the caps? I meant it, the whole weekend, and the game. But you have to be good for mom too. I know this isn't always a fun time when you come over, but I promise it will get better... I love you little man..."
"I love you too daddy. I just miss you, ya know... but I'll try to be good. See ya later gator..." He said, his arms wrapping around me before he was off the bed.
"Bye Bones...see ya next time." he added sadly.
"Try to get some rest Temperance, you too Seeley. You both look exhausted. I'll call tomorrow about bringing him by." Rebecca said as she lead Parker out of the room.
Neither of us said a word for a long time, it always got to me when Parker left, even before I got hurt, and she knew it was a sensitive subject. But I listened to her breathing until I couldn't take the silence any longer.
"Bones, you can go if you want, I mean I'm fine here... you don't need to babysit me every night. I can manage." I said quickly.
"I want to be here Booth. If I didn't I would be at the lab or at home." She said her voice irritated.
Despite her words, I couldn't help but let myself drown further in self pity. I hated being away from my son, and I was getting tired of the darkness. I was tired of hearing her say that she wanted to be here, I wanted to see her eyes, I couldn't know for sure that she meant it without looking into those clear blue pools.
"You're too quiet..." She finally said softly, her hand covering mine.
"Does it matter Bones?" I spit at her, "It's not like we have much to talk about."
"That's not true Booth. There are a lot of things that you could talk with me about." She said.
"Like what Bones, my day? My busy schedule? How about my time as a sniper?" I yelled.
"I don't presume to know what this is like for you, Booth, but you don't need to yell at me. You have tried this once already, and you know where that led, would you like to try again?" She shot back at me, her words cutting through me.
"No." I answered, sighing. "I'm frustrated Bones... as much as I try to be strong through all of this, I manage to lose what little control I have and immediately try to fight with you... I'm sorry."
"Booth...I...I know you're scared, and you feel like your life is spinning out of control...but what I don't understand is why you try to hide that from me. I know I haven't given you much of a reason to let me in, but I want to be here for you, if you'll let me." she said, her voice vulnerable.
"I'm sorry, Bones. I feel like I've been lying to you ever since this happened..." I said turning my body towards hers... "I told you that I'd always be there, that I'd never let you fall, and yet here I am, barely able to take care of myself... let alone you or Parker. It's like everything I ever had that was good in my life is slowly fading away. I know Rebecca is getting tired of the new arrangement, and you and me, I don't know where we're going."
"Why do we have to go anywhere Seeley? Just because you can't see it right in front of you doesn't mean it's not there... doesn't mean I'm not here..." She trailed off as a nurse came in.
"Mr. Booth, how are you doing this evening? Looks like everything is normal, BP's a little high, but other than that I don't think I'll see you again until the morning, Mrs. Booth, you only have another half hour till visiting hours are over..." She said cheerfully.
"I... um... yes thank you." Bones answered, but didn't follow through with correcting her.
"You called me Seeley... you didn't correct that nurse when she thought you were my wife, are you feeling okay Bones?" I asked her slightly confused.
"I'm fine, a little tired but healthy none the less, I just didn't feel like clarifying the fact that I am not your wife." She answered.
"Maybe you like the idea of being something more than partners Bones, did you ever think of that? Maybe what happened a week ago on my couch wasn't just a fluke... that's something we could talk about..." I tried, desperately wanting to know what it meant.
"It wasn't a fluke Booth, I've wanted that for some time now. But I'm scared that you're still pushing me away and it was all for nothing." she said quietly.
"Bones... I don't want you to be stuck with someone who can't protect you, can't provide for you, like this I can't even do those things for myself... I've dreamed of a day where we were more than partners for so long, and now, it's here, but it wasn't supposed to be like this. Not like this." I said, turning away from her.
She was quiet for some time before I felt the bed move, and felt her warm body next to mine. Her hand turning my face to hers, and her lips finding mine, as she passionately kissed me. "Bones, what..." I tried, but couldn't pull away long enough to finish the sentence. I wanted to ask her why now, what changed, but I just couldn't force myself to stop what I'd wanted for so long.
"Booth, visiting hours are over..." She said finally pulling away from me some.
"They won't know, don't leave Bones... not yet." I pleaded with her, I wasn't ready to part with her yet.
"I'll stay a little longer..." she said, nuzzling her face into my neck, her hand on my chest as she got comfortable lying beside me, my arms around her.
I don't know what time it was when I woke up to find her gone, the bed no longer warm beside me, her scent just barely there. The short time she'd been beside me was the most I felt like myself since the explosion, and her absence made me even more aware of just how much I needed her in my life. The rest of the night I spent tossing and turning, wondering what the outcome would be tomorrow.
Booth's hospital room June 26th
"Seeley we're going to remove the bandages slowly, the room will be dark and I ask that you please try to keep your eyes closed until I instruct you to open them. Your eyes have been through a significant trauma from the surgery and will need time to adjust. There will be some stinging as I clean the area around your eyes as well. Are you ready?" Dr. Hypond asked, her hand on my arm.
"The suspense is killing me Doc. Let's get the show on the road." I answered, so nervous I was nearly shaking, as I listened to Bones and Jared shuffling around behind the doctor.
"Tempe can you get the lights for me? Okay Seeley here we go." She said as I felt her hands on my face as a nurse cut through the bandages.
There was a bit of relief to having the gauze removed, but as I waited for the pads over my eyes to be removed my stomach started turning as fear of not regaining my sight took over me. As the doctor flushed my eyes I waited, wanting so badly to open them, yet so terrified to try.
"Seeley, slowly open your eyes, don't be alarmed if at first you don't see anything, it's common for your sight to return gradually..." She said, moving back from me some.
I waited for a splash of color, anything other than black, and when nothing changed I wanted to scream, it didn't work I thought, squeezing my eyes shut hard, the urge to hit something flaring up in my gut.
"Booth, try again..." I heard Bones say softly.
"Seeley we talked about this, it can be gradual. You need to try again." Dr. Hypond added.