Here we go again!
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Do you know that silence you hear when the power goes out? When you think you know what quiet is until the power goes out and there is nothing. No humming of a fridge, or no nearly soundless florescent lights purring, Not even the ticking of a clock to distract you from your thoughts?
That was how it felt as Mikey lay there counting the cracks in the ceiling above him. He wondered how many times he had counted those since he found himself resting under them nearly 2 weeks ago. He could tell that April had begun to dial down his medication. After all there were no eyes staring back from the cracks now.
He was glad the medication had begun to seep out of his system. He had hoped it would clear his mind and allow him some focus. Which it had…but that focus caused him to focus on things he'd rather forget.
The cold, the stone, the closeness,…the blade.
His hand touched the steel again and in the silence it was nearly audible. Raphael and Leo both slept if only because they couldn't will their bodies to stay awake any longer. Donnie had his back to him and lie facing the wall. Mikey couldn't understand that. Even if he could lay on his side comfortably, he wouldn't face a wall.
Not ever.
Every wall brought back that place.
So alone…
Alone…
…
"So did we die?"
His heart had begun to race as the walls had closed in again and that memory rushed to light. It was shattered by the very clear and very awake question that caused Mikey to startle at best.
Once he trusted himself to speak he kept his eyes defiantly on the ceiling.
"Don't be stupid Don, course not."
Don now turned from the wall to face Mikey.
"Did we die?" He asked again.
"Why would you even ask that?" Mikey's voice was a little higher than normal.
They still hadn't spoken about what had happened, and he was ok with that. He didn't want to rehash it. He just wanted to crawl into bed and read a comic.
Forget it.
It never happened.
The fact he hadn't touched the comics Casey gave him made it pretty clear that wasn't going to happen, but damnit he wanted to try.
Don's eyes were still on him and Mikey swallowed and turned his head completely away from his brother. That's it Mikey, ignore him, and focus on the door.
Maybe he'll go to sleep.
He heard Don shift and thought his brother would be doing just that. That fantasy went poof when he felt his mattress shift as his brother sat down by his feet.
"The way you scream for us for starters…Come on Mike."
He let a hand settle on Mikey's leg.
"Can't you just let it go, Don?"
He asked, sounding far younger than he was.
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because if I sit there any longer reciting Poe or trying to rewrite Pythagorean Theorem in my head I'm going to go stir crazy. My brain just shut off in there and now it won't stop. So If I make sense of it then maybe-"
"You can't make bricks with out clay." Mikey muttered cutting off Donnie.
His eyes still on the door were darker. He wanted to help his brother but not if it meant going back there, even figuratively.
"Mike-"
Mikey's eyes closed with a pained look across his features. For a moment Donnie was about to ask if he needed a pain killer before it registered. This was a different kind of pain. Something far harder to heal.
"You were just gone." Mikey's voice was small and his eyes were still closed.
Don stopped to listen, the hand on Mikey's leg squeezed. The silence lingered but Don waited giving Mikey time to figure it out.
"I woke up in bed…
TBC