Disclaimer: As you all know, these characters aren't mine. They belong to Dick Wolf and NBC.

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Day 23: The Final Letter

Universe: Present Day – Olivia is a soldier, Alex is a journalist.

Warning: Major Character Death

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It's been four days – four days since the chaplain showed up the door of your brownstone, four days since he told you about the explosion, four days since your world crumbled around you.

It's been four days.

You haven't done a single thing; everyone tells you this is normal, this is to be expected, but you can't shake the feeling that you're supposed to be doing something, anything other than lying in bed, thinking about her.

It's been four days.

On the fifth day, you wake up with a sense of purpose. You get up, shower, make yourself some breakfast, and then set about cleaning the house.

The doorbell rings around noon and you drop the washcloth in your hand on the kitchen table, walking apprehensively toward the door. Wiping your sweaty hands on your pants, you open the door and breathe a sigh of relief when you see the mailman standing there with an envelope.

You sign for the envelope, try to smile at the mailman, then disappear back into your apartment. You rip the envelope open and a dvd falls onto the floor. Picking up the dvd, you place it into the player and watch as Olivia's face fills the screen of your television.

The pain of her death hits you so hard that it literally knocks the air from your body. You collapse onto the couch and try to get your breathing back to normal. When you finally feel like you can breathe again, you press play.

Olivia taps her finger against the camera, grinning crookedly. "Is this thing one?"

A voice off-screen scoffs. "Just shut up and film your message, Benson."

Olivia rolls her eyes. "That's so fuckin' rude, Stabler," she says. "Alex is gonna hear you."

The camera turns around and Elliot Stabler's face comes into view. "Hey, Alex," he says, "I just want you to know that Benson's forcing me to film this video because she can't find the tripod again."

The camera turns back around to face Olivia. "You're such a dick, Stabler."

Elliot laughs. "Just get on with your video, Benson. We do have other stuff to do today."

Olivia shakes her head. "I don't even know what to say anymore."

"We practiced this."

Olivia sighs, pushing her hand through her hair. "Hey, Al," she says, "we found this old video camera hidden away in a box and decided it would be more interesting to make videos instead of calling. I mean, we're gonna call too, but this is to send" – she shakes her head – "whatever. So by the time you get this you'll probably already know because I'll be standing beside you, but we're coming home, Alex. We'll be landing at JFK on the tenth at 11:15pm."

"Don't forget the other thing, Benson."

"Yeah." Olivia nods. She reaches into her pocket and pulls out a small gold ring. "I was going to wait until I saw you at the airport, but Stabler thought it would be better to give you time to think about it, so I'm going to ask you now and get your answer when I get home. Alex, I know loving a soldier is tough and I know how much shit you've dealt with from me and my job, but I love you so much. So I'm asking you, Alex: Will you marry me?"

Off camera, Elliot scoffs. "Is that really the best you've got, Benson?"

"What the fuck, Stabler? You just ruined my moment."

"You wouldn't even have a moment if it wasn't for me."

"You're a dick."

"I'm just saying you could do better."

"Don't listen to him, Alex. It was his idea to do it like this in the first place."

There is a momentary pause and then Elliot says, "Gotta go, Benson. It's time."

Olivia sighs, stuffing the ring back into her pocket. "I'll see you soon, Alex. I love you."

The video goes black and you take a shuddering breath, shutting the television off. You know in time you'll be okay, but now is not that time.

Turning the television back on, you set up the video to play again.

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