WARNING: This chapter will contain details of cruelty and sexual abuse of a minor. It will revolve around these topics through nightmare scenarios and in reflection only. Please do not read if you feel this will upset or distress you in any way. It is my way of trying to explain why certain children become the adults they are.
After two more days in the critical care unit, Eliot was moved into a private suite on his own, paid for by Leverage Associates. This gave him more privacy to recover when he wasn't being poked and prodded by the doctors. It also meant that one of his extended family, as the hospital saw them as, could stay over with him at night. He had asked Nate to arrange something of this ilk and he'd transfer the money from one of his hiding places, yet to his surprise Nate had already arranged it and paid in full using the amazing turn around of their slush fund, what the Hell had Hardison done. He'd have to ask him the very next time they were alone. The surprise on Eliot's face had been worth every penny, Nate wasn't old enough to be his father, yet at times he felt that as the mastermind he took on the patriarchal role as part of a more silent role that came with the job. He hoped that now he was sober he could live up to that role in a better way. While Eliot had been in a coma Parker hadn't left his side and since his move to the private room, about 48 hours ago, she had began practically bouncing around the place like she was on hidden springs. Both at the house where all her possessions now lay in the room down the corridor from Eliot's, but also around the hospital suite. Her and Eliot were more open with their affection towards each other now, meaning they had resolved whatever had held them back before and clearly they were both very happy about this. From what Nate could tell, he and everyone else were happy for the errant pair too.
Parker had an awful existence according to what little Nate had found out about her. Two of her former foster brothers had been jailed for raping their fostered siblings, which dealt a heavy blow to Nate's heart upon discovering this. Not only had Parker's trust been taken when she was abandoned by her own father, but then to be placed into homes at the will of the State, without choice, to find she was living in a home where abuse had been practically rife. In having Eliot as her lover she had picked the number one protector for herself. Although Nate didn't believe that was why she had chosen Eliot. The information on Eliot had been easier to find once Hardison had started to look. It would appear that he and Parker had more in common than anyone would have ever believed. Hardison had talked with Parker about being kindred souls, having both survived the system, yet Eliot hadn't commented and now Alec was looking at the information with a renewed respect for the hitter, yes he'd been fostered out from a young age but he'd never experienced anything of the abuse that Parker and Eliot seemed to have been subjected to. Now, Nate was wondering what to do with the information. He wasn't brave enough to mention it to either, Eliot in particular and the pair were so happy at the moment, despite the wounds still marring Eliot's body, that Nate had not wanted to bring up their pasts. He'd give it some thought. Tonight however, he was staying at the hospital with Eliot. Parker was shattered and Eliot had warned her off, tonight she was to sleep in a real bed and not leaning on the edge of his. If he found her in the hospital after dark tonight he had whispered a 'threat' to Parker that had the young thief both smiling and clearly shocked at the thought of whatever Eliot had told her. Needless to say, she was going to be tucked up at the house with Sophie, Tara and Hardison to keep her company all night.
Nate had found it difficult to not drink considering all that had happened in this last week, frankly there couldn't have been a better excuse to have a drink. Now with Sophie back, he really didn't find he needed alcohol to aid with sleep, thinking and concentration or simply to function. He realised that beforehand, and for some years since Sam's death, he hadn't been functioning at all. Barely existing was probably a more accurate description. Now he was adamant to succeed in his relationship with Sophie primarily but importantly he also needed to prove himself to the team. This would start with Eliot tonight. When he arrived at the hospital Parker was just saying goodbye, anyone would think she was leaving the country instead of just taking a night off sitting by his bedside. Eliot was grinning like a fool, propped up against several pillows now, bent at the waist with his arms loosely by his side. He was clearly still in pain considering the machines delivering antibiotics and heavy pain medication to his IV on a regular basis. Yet he couldn't have looked happier. Parker was clearly the best tonic the man could ask for and when she finally left, dragged away by Sophie, Eliot's smile still didn't fall. Nate couldn't help but laugh at the hitter, who before this had normally found himself growling around Parker. He should have known it had been a front!
"So I see things are going well with Parker, how are you feeling in yourself?" Nate asked as he took a seat near the hitter's bed.
"She's one of a kind, ain't she," Eliot's chuckle turned into a cough, thankfully easier than the previous days. Nate knew what to do, they all did. Get the large pillow across his chest and keep him calm while he tried to cough with his wounds and not rip his stitches.
When the hacking had finally finished Nate took up another glass of water for the hitter and held it to his lips. It was still hard for Eliot to lift his arms too much and physiotherapy would begin in the next few days. It had been less than a week since the shooting and Eliot had only just got out of critical care after all.
"How's that feel?" Nate asked after the hitter finished sipping his first cup of water. "Any better?"
"Yeah, thanks Nate." Eliot replied grateful the coughs had waited until Parker had left to start, she would not have taken the night off if he had looked sickly before she went.
"Parker needs tonight off, glad she didn't see that," Eliot continued, "she needs some proper sleep, girl ain't taken care of herself."
"Well don't worry, Sophie is going to keep her busy this evening and will make sure she sleeps all night." Nate chuckled a little at the plans they others had been making for Parker tonight. "Alec has sorted out some films, they're ordering take out Chinese and I do believe that Sophie has planned a sleep over of sorts, so she'll be guarded so to speak, all night!"
"She's goin' to love that!" Eliot spoke quietly this time, clearly exhausted after the coughing fit.
"Why don't you shut your eyes for forty winks Eliot, I'll be here and make sure you're safe." Nate spoke and realising his error he countered, "I'm sorry I won't be holding your hand nor providing goodnight kisses like Parker, but I can tell you a story if you like?"
Smiling Eliot just nodded gratefully "I'm sorry you got to be here tonight Nate, I know you and Sophie might a had plans."
"Nonsense, I don't have to be here, I want to be here." Nate sat up straighter, "Eliot you do more for all of us than we can every repay. A night at the hospital is hardly payback for the times you've saved us from danger, hell you retrieved my ex-wife without so much as a thank you. Now that I'm not drinking there was something I wanted to tell you, well say to you." Nate cleared his throat and looked up to Eliot making sure he had the hitter's eyes. "Eliot, that first case with Dubenich, you tried to tell me that you were sorry about Sam, that you and everyone else on the street knew about why I'd disappeared from IYS, I threw your kindness back in your face because I didn't think I was like you. Not only was I wrong, I'm still not like you, I could never be as brave as you nor cope with the things that you have to do or see in order to keep us all safe. I haven't been worthy of your friendship before now but I'd like to hope that we can be friends Eliot, as I've never had a truer one."
Eliot was a little unprepared for Nate's speech and his eyes watered a little, "Hell Nate, course we're friends. You had a lot to deal with and this side of things is new for you." Eliot explained.
"Thank you Eliot, now I'm sober, I hope to be more worthy of your friendship and I want you to remember that it goes both ways. If you ever need anything I can help with then you only need ask, okay?" Nate finished and then asked the hitter if he played chess. Nate would make the moves if Eliot told him what he wanted to move. The next few hours passed with several games of chess, evenly matched with tactical planning and strategy points, they were close fought and down to the wire practically each time. After around 10pm Eliot started to drift off and when a nurse's visit went unnoticed by the hitter Nate knew he was asleep so settled in for the night in the lounging chair they had brought in to keep guard over their friend.
Meanwhile back at the house, Parker was distracted from the film they were watching, it was one Alec and Tara had chosen from Blockbusters and although they had clearly planned this evening with her in mind, remembering to get salted popcorn instead of the sickly sweet stuff, The Thomas Crown Affair just wasn't grasping her attention this evening. Parker didn't have the heart to tell Alec that she preferred the original and found the Pierce Brosnan and Renee Russo version a little too smarmy for her liking. They had all planned a lovely evening for her, hoping to distract her from the sick man laying in a hospital bed not 30 minutes from the their new house. Earlier that evening they had spent time arranging all their own rooms. She was set up down the corridor from Eliot, although knew where she'd be spending most of her time. Nate and Sophie were set up in the adjacent wing to them, whereas Alec and Tara's rooms were across the luxuriously large landing. The painting was all finished and the house looked beautiful. Hardison had done a great job organising all this and Sophie with Tara's help had taken on all the furnishing. Practically buying out one of the Pottery Barn's in the area and doubling the tip to ensure a speedy delivery of all the items.
Hardison was dealing with various projects on the side. There was the police reports and further inquiries into the shooting and kidnapping of Dalton Rand, these had been dealt with by Alec's FBI Agency friends and the local LEOs were happy with the FBI taking over the case, of course Dalton Rand was still missing and in order to close the case with their client, Nate wrote a cheque for all the money she had spent getting Dalton Rand to communicate with her late husband. With all that settled they could concentrate on Eliot and his recovery, although Hardison kept searches running for Dalton Rand, after all if he had been in any way responsible for his own 'kidnapping' then Eliot was going to have to get in line when it came to killing the bloke. Alec was still a little unnerved by the hitter at times, though he had become oddly closer to him since the shooting. Spending time downloading old Westerns and music for him to have in the hospital and setting up his rooms in their new home, just how he hoped he'd like it, of course Sophie had helped and the furnishings were all in place now. How on earth she'd managed to get a whole house furnished at such short notice he'd never know, but that woman would be scarily wicked when she wanted to be and that coupled with her low cut, short dresses and sparkling jewellery somehow managed to get things done. He wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth and certainly wasn't going to be analysing it for too long. Alec was happy for Parker, yes he thought he might have been her man, though Eliot was clearly a better match for her wild side. Also Alec was now dating Tara, well two dates to be precise and their third was set for the weekend, he just had to think of the right place for their third date. He was sure that Sophie might have some tips for him, but was scared to ask in case it turned into a full on chicks conversation, perhaps he could set something to beep like mad in about 30 minutes, yes that's what he'd do.
Sophie was happy, happier than she'd been for a long time. Nathan Ford was hers at last; he was with her, although not physically tonight as he was with Eliot in the hospital but he was no longer distracted with thoughts of his former life, with Maggie and his son's untimely passing. He wasn't even drinking and although she was sure this had probably been his most testing time since Sam's death, in all it really had been a good week to give up drinking. They had needed Nate at his best this week, thinking clearly and proving his worth as their leader. Her good friend and other grifter Tara was also fitting into their family nicely, she didn't work with a team either although wasn't quite as renown as the infamous Sophie Deveraux, she had a good reputation in European circles. Now it seemed she was settling in well and had begun dating Alec Hardison. He was a good man, genius hacker and unrivalled in the business thus far. Sophie had hoped initially for him to get together with Parker but after a few weeks of watching the crazy thief pull all sort of weird stunts, she realised that Parker was simply too much for the hacker. Eliot was a much better fit for her and thankfully they had worked this all out for themselves.
"Sophie, can I ask you something if you ain't too busy?" Hardison approached the grifter, "can I make you one of those fruity teas?"
"Why yes please Alec, that sounds lovely," Sophie replied heading for the kitchen with Hardison. "Where is Parker?"
"Tara is helping her unpack upstairs." Hardison put the kettle on to boil.
"Okay Alec, what is it I can do for you?" Sophie was intrigued.
"Well, Tara and I have a date Friday night, that's number three and I need some ideas on where to go, what to …ahem…..do?" he rushed the last part and coughed it out in almost a hushed whisper.
"Oh, I see. So will this be your first….third date?" Sophie enquired hiding her sudden desire to smile broadly at the young man in front of her. He came across as such a wide boy, as they'd say in London. Someone who wouldn't obviously consider their treatment of a lady to the extent of asking for a friends help in arranging the perfect date to romance said lady. She also would have believed that Alec was more a man of the world than was appearing to be the case.
"Erm, yeah, there's nothing wrong with me……."
"Stop, Alec, I don't think there's anything wrong with you. It's an important decision and it makes you all the more special to have waited for the right person to come along," Sophie placated the young man, "trust me Alec, I wouldn't just say these things for the sake of it, alright?"
"I kinda know what to do in that department, it's more what's expected of me at this stage? Will you help me Sophie, please?" Alec looked so innocent to Sophie at that minute and nothing like the cocky hacker she knew him to be.
"Of course, now lets get some tea and see where to go from here." Smiled Sophie, "I won't let you down Alec."
Meanwhile, back at the hospital Eliot was making good progress and had been asleep for about two hours when Nate was interrupted from his snooze by the sounds of someone in distress. Forgetting immediately where he was, he looked around the room before his eyes settled on Eliot's sleeping form. He looked frightened, which was something Nate hadn't seen in Eliot before; his eyes scrunched up tightly in his head, his face and throat were covered in a fine sheen of sweat and he was tossing his head form side to side, fists clenched and murmuring in his sleep.
"No…no, not ….my fault. I'm sorry," Eliot was clearly having a nightmare and it would appear that there were tears streaming down the hitter's face. Nate didn't think he'd ever seen Eliot look so young and fragile. He reached forward to try to wake Eliot gently, so as not to jar his injuries across his chest Nate laid the pillow across there first and then put his hand on Eliot's shoulder with the intent of shaking him very gently.
Eliot had other ideas, he felt the hand on his shoulder and clearly this wasn't good wherever his mind had taken him so he threw his body bolt upright and prepared to stand off against whoever had touched him. It was too late, his body gave in and he collapsed back onto the bed where his body began to convulse against the pain. Nate slammed his hand on the buzzer and tried to soothe Eliot by talking to him rather than touching him. That clearly hadn't worked out so well the first time.
The nurse appeared and looking at the patient immediately shouted out the door for more help and for someone to page Dr Meyer. Running back into the room she prepared a syringe of Morphine which she injected straight into the IV port on the back of Eliot's hand. As his body began to relax she asked Nate what had happened.
"He was having a nightmare, I reached forward placing the pillow on his chest and then touched his shoulder to wake him gently." Nate was pale with worry and clearly a little shocked by what he had seen.
"Alright Mr Ford, Dr Meyer is on his way and we'll get to the bottom of this." Noticing the pale complexion on the guest's face," Why don't you sit back down and I'll find you a cup of sweet tea in a moment."
"Don't worry about me, what on earth happened, was it a nightmare or did I cause this by trying to wake him?" Nate was breathing heavily, already surmising in his head what he had probably interrupted in the nightmare. Jesus Christ, how could someone have done that to their own child?
Dr Meyer arrived just in time to see Eliot's body relax totally into the medicated state he'd been placed in. Dismissing the nurse after taking a brief histology on this latest event, he directed his questioning to Nate.
"So Mr Ford, it appears you tried to wake Mr Carmichael from a nightmare and judging from his oxygen output and blood pressure, it was quite some dream that caused the elevation in his stats. Do you have any idea what it might have been about?"
"No, I really can't say that I do. Is he going to be alright?" Nate asked between deep breaths.
Approaching the heavily breathing man, Dr Meyer took out a penlight and holding Nate's forehead lifted each eyelid to see what was happening. "He's been medicated into a heavy slumber for now, he's managed to split a couple of stitches, which I'll sort out immediately, but he'll have to go down to the OR for that, hygiene is imperative with these sort of injuries." Dr Meyer explained, "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine, it's just I've never seen anyone convulse like that before." Nate explained truthfully, of course he was also horrified by what might have caused such a reaction, he hadn't lied to the doctor, he really couldn't possibly say what had been in Eliot's dream.
"Can I take your blood pressure Mr Ford?"
"Nate, it's Nate." Looking up he saw the doctor stood still in front of him, "if you really think it's necessary then yes, go ahead." A weary Nate replied.
"Okay Nate, you can call me Dom, deal?" replied the doctor, after receiving a nod from Nate he placed the cuff around his arm and began inflating the bulbous end of the pressure cuff. Placing his stethoscope into his ears and the cold flat end onto Nate's inner elbow, Dom released the airflow from the cuff.
"Alright, it's a little high, you've had quite a scare." Dr Meyer replied looking across to Eliot's sleeping body, "He's going to be out for a while, would you like to join me for a coffee?"
Looking across to Eliot, Nate decided the best way he might help was to glean as much information as he could from the doctor and try to put it all to good use once Eliot was discharged from the hospital. Although he planned on hiring a private nurse to begin with as Eliot was less likely to scare her half to death each time she appeared with a syringe.
"Okay, he's not going to wake up while we're gone is he?" Nate queried.
"Nope, he's going down to theatre to get those stitches sorted out in fact, my registrar Dr d'Houttard is going to arrange all that while we're gone." He said closing his mobile phone, which Nate hadn't even noticed him using.
Leading the way to the doctors' canteen on the lower ground floor Dr Meyer had talked about the hospital, the weather and anything else that entered his head in the last few minutes and now they were seated at a table in a quiet corner of the canteen.
"Okay Nate, let me tell you what I know and then you can fill in some blanks for me perhaps?"
"Your friend, Eliot Carmichael was shot while trying to stop a man from being kidnapped. He is covered in scars, some that are almost as old as he is. His jobs and lifestyle cover the majority of the newer scars and clearly the man is physically fit and active. So what do you know about his nightmares and the older scars?"
"I don't know very much, and I didn't know about the nightmares until tonight. I'll talk to his wife and ask her what she knows." Nate paused, perhaps he could get some help here as he was in uncharted territory now, "However, what could we do to help if it turns out his nightmares are from childhood trauma, say abuse?"
Shaking his head Dr Meyer said after clicking his tongue "I can never get my head around why any parent would want to do that to their child. Are we talking, hypothetically of course, of physical or sexual abuse?"
Nate stared into his coffee and simply murmured "both".
The doctor shook his head and picked up his cup. There was nothing more he could say on this matter. He had been a doctor for many years now and people continually horrified him with the abject cruelty they displayed against each other and more than often towards their children. Life was so cruel at times.
"It depends on what he remembers, wants you to know and whether he wants help in the first place." Dr Meyer took off his glasses and wiped his tired eyes, "I haven't known that man upstairs for more than a week and he was asleep at the beginning of it. However he doesn't strike me as the kind of guy that asks for help. What do you have in mind?"
"I don't know yet, I found out most of the things I know only today. I need to talk with the others and Eliot's wife Parker, see what she knows." Standing up, Nate thanked the doctor for his concern and said he would get back to him when he had come up with a plan, "thank you also for the coffee, I'm going to go back up and wait for Eliot now."
"We'll look after him Nate, I guarantee you that." Said Dr Meyer.
"Thanks once again Dom, it's nice that you take such interest and care in your patients." Shaking the doctor's hand Nate turned and headed back upstairs leaving the doctor staring into his coffee.
When Nate returned to Eliot's room he found Sophie had popped in to see him. Spotting his sombre appearance she immediately jumped to the conclusion that the absent hitter's condition had somehow worsened.
"No, he's okay Sophie," Pulling her close once he'd spotted her facial expression drop, "oh God it was awful Sophie, he had a nightmare and I tried to wake him, he threw himself bolt upright and tore a few of his stitches. Sophie he looked petrified. Saying he was sorry over and over." He let go of her just enough to look at her face, placing a kiss upon her lips, he said. "I've never been so glad to see you. Is everything alright at the house?"
"Yes, Parker is fine. Tara and Hardison are playing hide and seek with her – confined to the house before you ask, otherwise we may never find her again." Sophie explained with a wry smile on her face. The thief had jumped with joy when Hardison suggested it, Sophie had said she was getting extra milk and she would sit out the first few rounds of hide and go seek. Thinking back to the smiles on Parker's face, she smiled, asking, "When will he be back?"
"The doctor thinks about an hour, but I've been gone for about 45 minutes with Dr Meyer, while he quizzed me about probable reasons for a grown man to have such a vividly violent nightmare." Nate took a seat and pulled a second one close for Sophie.
Still holding his hand Sophie asked, "do you know what it might have been about?" Nate shook his head so as not to betray his true feelings on this matter.
"Come on Nate, if you know something you aren't hiding it very well," Sophie looked right into his eyes, "Eliot will be able to see right through you."
"Jesus that's all I need. Listen Sophie I do know something but I haven't had a chance to talk with Eliot first and I don't want to betray him any further than I already have by prying into his background." Nate put his head in his hands. "It's awful Sophie, that's all I'll say."
The door to the room came open and Eliot was wheeled back in on his bed. He was asleep and looked so peaceful and calm. Nate and Sophie both looked at each other and smiled. Peace was present for the moment although it was down to the medication that they had used to quieten him down the first time. Xanax is used for panic attacks while you sleep, which are common with sufferers of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) or so Dom had explained to him. They had started with an injection and would lower the dose again the next day, as it is a highly addictive opiate.
Dr d'Houttard, registrar to Dr Meyer, was with Eliot and explained to Nate and Sophie that they had repaired all the stitch damage and were content that they had prevented any probable infection. They had considered restraining Eliot so that he couldn't do any further damage.
"No, absolutely not, he won't do well in restraints, is that going to be a problem?"
"No Mr Ford, Dr Meyer explained that you would know what was best for Mr Carmichael personally. Although I can tell you that he won't have it so easy next time it happens. We may have to temporarily cast his chest in order to allow the wounds to heal without disruption. We can discuss this should it happen again though. If you have any further questions, have the nurse page me okay?"
"Yes, thank you." Nate turned to Sophie just as soon as the doctor had left the room, he spoke with a French accent and it reminded them both of their time in Europe. Not together of course, more like the worldwide game of cat and mouse they had previously lived through.
"I need to talk to Eliot when he wakes up Sophie and as much as I'm enjoying your company I've got to get my head around all this before he wakes up." Nate looked towards Sophie, who understood entirely. "I'll be back in the morning, I'm sure Parker will be here early, so perhaps I'll get back in time to catch you before you get up?"
Sophie blushed ever so slightly, "I'll keep the bed warm for you Mon Cheri." Placing a lingering kiss upon Nate's lips before picking up her purse and coat, she headed for the door. Turning back she placed a kiss on Eliot's forehead and wished him sweet dreams. Nate sat for what seemed like eternity before Eliot awoke. He was a little groggy and signalled for water, which Nate promptly aided him with.
"How are you feeling now Eliot?" Nate asked while he held the cup for the hitter.
"Like road kill," Eliot croaked, "What happened?"
"Well," Nate said sitting back down and pulling the chair closer to the bed, " you were asleep for a couple of hours and suddenly you started to tense up and mumble in your sleep, when you started to toss and turn I tried to wake you, but when I put my hand on your shoulder you looked frightened and then sat bolt upright," Nate explained slowly to the sleepy hitter, "the pain clearly woke you and sent you into convulsions, none of which is particularly good for you right now."
"Oh," said the hitter, "explains why I'm so tired, think I'd best get some more sleep in.," he said closing his eyes.
"Hold on Eliot." Nate spoke up, ensuring he had the hitter's attention. "The doctors are worried, hell I'm scared it might happen again. You ripped some stitches and you've been back in theatre man. I only tried to wake you, now I know you've got your demons, we all have. They want to put you in restraints so that you don't injure yourself any more than you already have."
"No..no they can't…." Eliot looked panicked.
"I've already said no, but the other option is to put your upper body into a cast so that you can't overstretch and hurt yourself again."
"Don't like the sound of that much either." Eliot growled, "Don't worry, it won't happen again Nate, I'm sorry I scared you."
"What, I'm not angry Eliot, I'm worried about you. I don't want you restrained like an animal because you had a nightmare, I want to help you so that you don't have anymore nightmares." Nate said quickly then more softly he offered, "If you'll let me help you, that is?"
"It's nothin' serious Nate," Eliot played down his own fast beating heart that told him it was worse than he was letting on. "I don't wanna talk 'bout it, 'kay."
"I understand Eliot, I won't push it, but I'm worried that you'll hurt yourself more and I don't want that for you. You don't deserve anything that's happened to you," he'd spoken before he realised he'd given himself away and Eliot seized on it like a hawk on it's prey.
"You know, you searched, ah no Hardison, I'm gonna kill him. Nate how could you?" Eliot was clenching his fists and wishing he could get up right now and plant one of them right on Nate's face! "You had no right Nate, no right at all."
"No, you're right Eliot, I had no right at all and I can't tell you how sorry I am that I betrayed your trust. If I can try to explain why I did it, maybe it will help?"
"I doubt it. Just go Nate, get out," Eliot was growling more than he had in a while, "just when things were goin' right now I'm gonna hafta leave."
"No Eliot, you don't have to leave. That might have been your choice before now, but you have a new family, one that loves you and trusts you with their lives. Please don't leave because I made a mistake."
"I can't stay, you'll think I'm weak, won't trust me the same no more," Eliot practically whispered, out of steam and out of energy.
"Do you want something for pan, can I get the nurse maybe?" Nate asked the worn out hitter who was clearly starting to ache again.
"Go 'way Nate." Eliot said wearily.
"No, I'm not leaving you Eliot, you need a family to help you and I'm staying." Nate said sternly, "and so are you Eliot. You don't get to change just because I know some of your past life. I didn't get to leave after being a drunk, you encouraged me everyday to be sober and now I've been sober for over a week and that's thanks to you in part." Nate paused, "You don't get to run this time Eliot. You've got a family that loves you. You've got Parker, what would that do to her if you were to disappear?"
He continued, "That girl has been abandoned by everyone else in the world that loved her and you're not going to be the one that breaks that girl's heart again."
Moving around to the chair at the side of Eliot's bed, Nate took a seat. "I don't expect this to be easy, but maybe we can get you some help. What do you think?" Nate went for the direct approach and hoped the hitter might take the offer of help that was being offered.
"I don't need help," Eliot spoke after a few minutes' silence between the pair, "it's all in the past, no sense in draggin' it back up."
"What about your nightmares, what if you rip your stitches again or even worse, what if one night when Parker stays over you have them and you frighten her? Maybe you'd prefer to talk with her about this?"
"I'd never hurt Parker, or any of you, you gotta know that Nate." Eliot countered angrily.
"Of course, we all know you wouldn't hurt us," Nate paused, "deliberately, but we're going to be sharing a house for the next couple of months while you recover. I can get you help, but you've got to trust me, it might be in your best interest to get help with this now before we head back to the house?"
"What 'bout Hardison, he knows too?" Eliot asked the mastermind.
"Bits and pieces, nothing too personal. Other than your real name, Alec is a good man and would never betray you or the others with anything he knows. Doesn't hurt that he's scared stiff of you" Nate chuckled trying to lighten the mood.
Eliot smiled a bit at that but then bit back, "If I tell you and I explain how to keep me from hurtin' you all when I'm sleepin' will you leave it be and forget 'bout it?" Eliot realised he'd been running from his childhood his whole life and if he wanted to make a fresh start with Parker; he'd have to be honest with her too, same as she'd been with him. Maybe Nate could help him with this.
"When I was younger my Mamma taught me the difference between right and wrong, she told me about ways to treat a lady and what it meant to be a gentleman. I don't think she'd approve of the way I've grown up, what I've become." Eliot began. "She always took time after chores to help me with my homework and make sure I knew my ABCs and calculus too. At night she'd tell me stories, some from a book but mostly she just made 'em up, they were happy stories, 'bout beautiful woman and handsome Princes."
"One day my Ma and Pa told me they were goin' to have another little baby and I was so excited, I was goin' to be a big brother and I'd learned all about how to look after people who were younger than me, weaker than me and less able, so bein' a big brother came with lots of responsibilities. Sometime after Spencer was born my Pa lost his job with the rodeo, he started to be mean to Ma and he didn't play with me, or Spencer no more." Eliot was wringing the sheet on his left side with a clenched fist.
"Ma was sad all the time too and Spencer well he cried lots, like babies do. It wasn't long before bedtime stories stopped. One night I woke after a bad dream and went to find Ma, when I went downstairs, Ma was clearin' up broken glass and Pa was shoutin' at her and yellin' that she was no good no more and didn't deserve for him to be nice to her. He started to hit her and I started crying, he saw me and said that if I didn't stop cryin' I'd grow up like a sissy and if I wanted to be a real man I'd take the hits for my Ma." Looking across at Nate he carried on, "Spencer didn't know that his cryin' made it all worse. I decided it wasn't fun being a big brother, he was too little to know any better, he cried all the time which made Ma sad, Pa would get mad and he'd hit me and I knew when I'd go to bed sometimes he'd hit Ma anyway."
"I'm so sorry Eliot," Nate was feeling awful for dragging this out of the hitter, but he couldn't help him any other way. "Do you think you can go on, or do you want to stop for tonight?"
"No, it's a one time deal, now or never" Eliot said sternly, then searching for a spot on the wall to stare at he went on, "The beatin' happened most nights and it got so bad that I couldn't always go to school. My little brother was too young for bein' beat so I made sure he stayed outta trouble with Pa, and if he did get mad with Spencer I'd make him madder at me, so Spence wouldn't get hit. When Pa was real crazy he would make me sleep in the basement after, until I was better behaved he'd say. My Ma was sad all the time, when Pa went out she cried and hugged us both close, and she always tried to sneak me food when I was shut away. Pa mostly stunk of booze and on nights when he smelled real bad I'd take Spencer upstairs out of his way, to keep him safe."
"I think you were a really good big brother Eliot, there was nothing else you could have done." Nate couldn't believe what he was hearing, how could any parent be so cold.
"It stopped nothin', he still beat Ma and me most days, soon as I could I was taking Ma and Spence outta there." Eliot was getting angrier by the minute and Nate brought him water and held it to his lips.
"Thanks."
"Eliot that's terrible and I'm so sorry that you had to go through that alone, was there no one you could tell, an aunt or uncle?" Nate wasn't sure he could hear anymore, but as he'd been insistent on hearing about Eliot's childhood he could hardly ask him to stop talking now he'd got him started!
"When I was ten one of Pa's brothers came to stay, he didn't have no wife and he stunk of booze like Pa. I thought he'd help, but he made things worse. They weren't nice to Ma or us boys. Uncle Colt was a mean drunk. He had these crazy eyes that made you just scared to look at him. Ma was worried bout us so one night she tried to sneak us away. Pa and Colt were at the bar when Ma took us out of our beds and put us in the truck. She brought out our things and the dog came too. She also packed one of Pa's rifles and shells for it. We got three Counties away before Pa found us. He beat Ma real bad that night we got back to the house. Colt was still there, he took Spencer and me down to the basement while Pa 'dealt' with Ma. I was so scared for Spence, he was little and didn't understand what was goin' on, but then again, neither did I really. I didn't expect what happened next but Colt started poundin' on me and 'fore I knew it he'd taken off my pants and was, well he was touchin' me where I didn't wanna be touched. Spencer had fallen asleep and I didn't wanna wake him, I tried to stay real quiet, Uncle Colt told me if I woke Spencer then he'd touch him too." Eliot had tears in his eyes that were threatening to fall and there was an air of sorry emanating from Nate and Eliot was trying his best to not let it into his fortress. Nothing Nate could say or do was going to make this go away. Nate had never seen Eliot look so innocent and he began to understand why the young man had turned out the way he had. He didn't know anything other than violence. Throughout his young life he'd been beaten and molested by his drunken father and evil uncle. He didn't realise that Eliot had started to talk again when he suddenly heard the gentle voice of the hitter permeating his ears once more.
"I'm so sorry Eliot." Nate was horrified and truly did not know what to do to help the young man. He was going to need professional help with this. However Eliot was going to have to be willing to accept the help. He would work on this carefully; he'd done enough damage by going behind Eliot's back.
"Not your fault Nate, I was weak but I ain't never made that mistake since," Eliot was trying to get his tears under control before he finished his sickening tale.
"It didn't happen again for a few days, I guess I was too messy after the beatin' and the first time to interest him." Eliot took a few deep breaths and continued, " the next time was in the barn, and Pa was with him this time. I thought he'd stop him but no, he said it was for all the times Colt had helped him out and I was payin' back the debt. If I couldn't be brave then Pa would have to get Spencer in to help out." Eliot was staring above Nate's head now, at a spot on the wall.
"Nate after I tell you all this, you ain't to mention it again, to nobody. I can't have people think there's somethin' wron' with me, that I'm weak. I just can't". Eliot was starting to get angry at the memories and made Nate swear not to tell anyone else.
"I promise Eliot," Nate moved the chair closer to the bed, but made sure he didn't touch the young man, "I wish there was something I could do to fix this Eliot, but I can't. Though I know for sure that you aren't weak, you're the strongest man I know and not just in physically. You're clever and you know strategies that would make an Army General jealous. Most importantly Eliot, you're a good man."
After a few minutes of silence, Nate spoke up and asked "How did you get away from it all, when did it stop?"
"I was twelve, Colt had just moved on and Pa caused a ruckus one night when Ma's brother Uncle Frank was stayin'. I don't know what caused it and I don't remember much 'bout what happened, when Uncle Frank arrived I was scared I guess that it'd all start over again. I took Spencer and hid upstairs. That's all I remember, then I woke up in the hospital a few days later. Uncle Frank told me that Pa was in jail and Ma had been by my bedside all the time, she'd gone to pack our bags and we were goin' to live with him and Miss Cassie from then on. He promised me that things would be different, that I needed to be brave but he would make sure we had a better life then. I asked 'bout Spencer and who was lookin' after him while I was in hospital. Uncle Frank started to cry and said the Angels were lookin' after Spencer now and told me that I'd been a good big brother by lookin' after him the way I had. My Pa had hurt him so bad that Spencer's little body couldn't take all the pain and he hadn't made it. I vowed that when I got big and strong I wouldn't ever let anyone smaller or weaker get picked on by someone else again." Eliot was weeping now and while Nate didn't like to see him in this state, he wasn't going to stop him because he needed to get this out or it might haunt him forever. He handed over a tissue for Eliot and went to fetch more water.
"I can't tell you how sorry I am Eliot. No one should ever have to live like that, especially not a child. And I'm truly sorry about Spencer, I guess you understand me better than I first believed you could. Like I said, I was wrong and I really mean it." Nate was deeply regretful of how he'd first treated Eliot. Hoping fervently that he'd managed to come some way close to fixing that tonight, "Can I ask where your Ma is now?"
"We stayed with Frank and Cassie until I was older, when I was sixteen my Ma got sick, she was pale and thin and she still cried every night for Spencer, I know because I used to sneak in there when it got dark. I never did like the dark after the basement and I was scared to ask for the light to stay on at night. Ma never knew I was in the room, but she'd pray and cry, and try to be so quiet that it always broke my heart. When she passed on I was with her and told her I'd always look after the weak and be a gentleman, long as she looked out for Spencer. I cried all the way through her funeral and it's the last time I shed a tear, til tonight. I left town the next day, and shortly afterwards I joined the Army."
Surely my longest chapter can generate a couple of reviews at least? Please let me know what you think. I have a few more chapters to tie this up and then I've written a series of one shots to cover everyone's back story. Including Eliot's time liberating Croatia....