I´m so sorry how things turned in the last chapter, but I figure our favorite couple is just like this, they would never risk each other happiness. The next chapters will be a bit longer, since its where the story unroll and start developing into something new. Hope You enjoy it.
Chapter 4
The day passed fast, I was so focused on my project that I didn´t realize it was almost night. I organized my papers and put them away, I got up and stretched, all my muscles felt like stone for being in the same position for a long time. I went to the kitchen to prepare myself dinner, I looked the cabinets and the fridge but they were almost empty, if I wanted to make a decent dinner today I would have to go out. I changed into some warm clothes and picked up my jacket. I hurried to my truck trying not to fall, I turned on the heater shivering a bit and waited until it felt comfortable.
I decided to stop on a department store first I needed new socks badly and I have been putting this clothes shopping thing for a long time now. I hurried through the women's section looking for what I needed but I couldn´t find any socks that seemed warm and comfortable. I heard a low groan behind me but I didn´t stop to look I was in a bit of a hurry, I still needed to get groceries. I turned around to look on the other pile when I saw a short little girl with short black hair, she moved like a fairy picking the things she wanted. My heart started beating faster.
I stalked the short pixie woman around the aisles looking at her letting on my memories run loose, I felt the hole in my chest but I couldn´t think of it, I tried to make the words come many times but I couldn´t. Was I finally insane? First Carlisle at the hospital, now Alice? I was sure my mind was just playing tricks on me.
- Al-Alice? - I managed to choke out. She turned so fast I couldn´t see the movement
- Bella? Bella! - She darted through the aisle hugging me so tight that I felt like I wouldn´t shatter for the first time. She loosen her hug and start shaking me - Bella? Breath, you are turning blue.
- Alice I...- I felt the tears rolling down my cheeks, I felt everything in place, I felt something! - I missed you so much Alice.
- Oh Bella, I missed you too - She held me again stroking my hair, soothing me
- How are you Alice? - I magaged to speak between sobs
- I´m fine Bella. How are you? - She looked at me
- F-Fine - I hid my face on her shoulder
- Don´t lie to me Bella you look terrible. And your clothes argh - She made a disgusting sound
- You weren´t there to dress me up everyday remember? - I chuckled
- What are you doing here Bella? Shopping for clothes? That´s new - She stared in disbelief
- No, just needed socks - I mumbled
- Did you find them?
- No, and not that I care right now - I hugged her again, Her cold hard skin and her sweet smell was all I could thing about. - Alice? Why are you here?
- Shopping - She pointed at the bags she left on the floor when she came to hug me. I let go of her but still followed as she moved to her bags
- Alice? Can I...shop around with you? - I asked in a low voice
- Actually Bella I´m all done - She said in her wind chime voice
- Oh... - I felt the hole growing in my chest, she was leaving again.
- Do you want to eat something? - She asked to my surprise, I felt a smile opening wide on my face
- Sure Alice, where do you want to go? - I hold tight to her arm, I couldn´t let her go, I didn´t want her out of my sight for one instant.
- I have an idea. Come - She darted out the store and headed to her car
- Alice, my car... - I looked back to my truck
- Too slow - She shook her head and pushed me into the Mercedes
The smell of the Mercedes flooded my mind with memories, the memory when Edward feared for my life, a time he cared for me. I remembered him defending me from James, sucking out the venom to keep me human. Dragging me to the prom... I stopped there, I didn´t want to think about my birthday, the day he decided to leave, the day my life ended.
Alice raced through the tight roads smiling to herself, as if she was a kid enjoying a ride on the park. I smiled, having her so close was like having part of my life back. She had missed me not the way I missed her, but the thought of Alice missing me made me think she could like me a bit. The car came to a sudden stop. We were in front of a huge white mansion, with immense windows. Alice started pulling me out of the car as if she was in a hurry.
- Come Bella, we are not going to bite you - She laughed
- Just give me a second Alice. - I asked. Was I prepared to face them? I knew Rosalie didn´t like me, so I didn´t have much expectations, but Jasper, Emmett, Carlisle, Esme, Edw... I took a deep breath trying to calm my self while Alice tapped her feet impatiently.
We walked through the huge door, I was holding onto Alice´s arm, just in case it was too much. It was not the same house, but the light colors, the wide spaces and the huge windows filled me with joy. It was familiar enough. This looked like a Cullen house. The front room was occupied by two huge couches and a plasma someone was watching.
- Everyone, come here. I got us a surprise - She chanted and smiled at me, I hold tighter to her arm.
Soon enough all of the Cullens were standing in the room, Esme hurried to me and gave me a hug
- Oh, Bella dear, I missed you so much - She let me go but got my hand and kept holding it.
- Welcome Bella. - Carlisle said and smiled patting my shoulders
- Bella - Emmett grinned at me and pulled me off the floor like I was a feather
- Can´t br-breath Emmett - He laughed and let go off me I blushed and Emmet burst into laughter
- Thank god, I though you wouldn´t be funny anymore. - Emmett said and moved to Rosalie´s side.
- Bella. - Rosalie said in a cold voice, I bent my head toward her.
- Hello Bella, It´s good to have you around again - Jasper said, I started to feel real calm.
- Thanks Jasper
Esme moved to the couch, I felt a bit uncomfortable but almost complete, I had my vampire family back with me, It was my dream coming to reality, I felt joy overwhelming my body. And I noticed someone moving to sit on the other couch near Jasper. It was him. My memories had not done justice to his face, he was even more perfect than I could remember, but his eyes I could remember perfectly, it was the look he had before he left me , the same cold look, the look he gave me made my hole grow twice inside my chest, before I couldn´t feel my lungs and my heart was gone but now all of me was gone, he really didn´t want me. I could see through the scorching gold of his eyes, they alternated between pain and anger. Did he hate me for being here? Should I live? I tried to hold my chest not to break down but Esme and Alice held tight to my hands, and that for me was enough.
- Bella - He said coldly and looked to his sister. I saw Jasper move uncomfortable in his sit, the emotions must be terrible for him right now.
- Hi - I tried to force a smile but I failed miserably.
- Bella tell us everything you did since we left, I missed you so much, I want to know it all - Esme asked stroking my hair
- Well - I tried to think for a moment on what I had done since they left, It all seemed just like a big blur, the only clear memories I had was about the time I spent with Jacob and all my wild experiences with motorcycles and cliff diving - I didn´t do much, you know me, I´m not very good at biding.
- Bella dear, you must have done something in four years. How is Charlie? - She asked trying to get some information.
- Charlie is great, he got someone to look after him, thank god for Sue, I would feel guilty leaving Charlie with the food he cook - Everyone laughed, but him - Renee is out on her third honeymoon with Phil, they are really happy together and that makes it easier to let go of her.
- And your friends? - She asked
- Well, I don´t have many friends, but that´s normal for me - I reminded about the La Push kids, Angela and Julie - After you were gone I spent most of my time around La Push with Jacob and his friends. Most of the high school kids were too frightened to have me around I guess.
- Who would be scared of you? - Emmett laughed, I just smiled back
- Tell me about Jacob, everything about him. - Alice asked
- There is not much to tell Alice, Jacob was a great friend, he supported me when I needed, but I decided he should take care of his life. He met his lucky one and he will soon be married, it was not fair for me to interfere with Leah´s and Jacobs happiness.
- Jacob? With Leah? - Edward ask in disbelief - I thought he would be all over you when we left.
- It happened but for a short time - I winced at the memory of when he left me, and I remembered when Jacob left me, I thought I was going to get lost into darkness - He fell quickly for Leah. It´s really common around La Push, They believe in love at first sight. But yeah I had great times with him, we got ourselves bikes and rode it for hours, we also did cliff diving - I felt Edward tension and Jasper almost jumped out out the couch feeling the change in his mood.
- Jasper, I... I wanted to apologize for that day. If I was careful, if I had payed attention. I´m sorry I didn´t mean to cause you pain - I finally could apologize to Jasper for what I had done.
- It´s not your fault Bella, I never blamed you - He tapped my right hand that was on Alice´s lap
- Esme, I invited Bella to dinner, are we going to starve her? - Alice asked giving Esme a meaning full look.
- Oh my, I´m sorry dear - she stood up and started moving to the kitchen.
- No Esme, don´t worry about me, I don´t want to cause you any trouble. - This was sick, these people well, vampires don´t eat.
- Don´t be silly Bella, I see you as a daughter, how could I let you hungry. - She had already left when I said my thanks.
The TV was on and it took me a while to realize that everyone left the room, everyone but him. My heart started to pound faster and my breath became uneven. I thought I heard him chuckle, but my heart was so loud I could not hear it.
- Bella? - He paused for a second and started moving to my direction, my heart was frenzied inside me - Do you mind talking to me for a minute?
- S-Sure - He held his hand out for me, and I took it, his skin was better than I could ever dream cold and so soft against mine, his touch sent electric shots through my body, as if it was trying to restart my dead body.
He leaded me out to the backyard and he sat on a bench pulling me down. He didn´t look at me and let go of my hand. He stared at the moon, the moon light shinning on his face made him look even more perfect, his skin was perfect white.
- How are you Bella? - He asked looking in my eyes for the first time in a long time.
- Ahm, fine - I answered and felt his jaw tightening
- Are you...happy? - Was he serious? How could I be happy? I thought I made myself clear that I would never be happy without him, he looked in pain, I had to lie, I had to make him happy at least, this was all I cared about.
- Yes - I lied, but he seemed to fall for it - And you? How are you?
- Good - He answer with a smile on his lips, but I could see in his eyes he didn´t mean it
- Really? - I pushed a bit he looked at me like I had pushed it too far, like I offended him deeply questioning his honesty - I mean, good, it´s good you are happy.
We stood in silence for a long time he was watching the moon and I was watching him. This was heaven and hell, I could feel my body burning in satisfaction and pain.
- Bella, dinner is ready - Alice called.
I stood up and started moving towards the house, Edward caught my hand and stopped me, for a second I could see his eyes melting, warming he wanted to tell me something, I could see it as his eyes melted into liquid I saw the scorching pain behind them was unbearable. I was making him miserable, I knew I was the cause, but could I leave him? Did I have the strength now that I was so close? He was everything I wanted, everything I asked for this last four years. But to see him is such pain, I would give him up, if that made him happy.
- I think I should go - I turned to leave but his hands still held mine
- Don´t please - He pleaded his eyes burning into mine
- But I´m hurting you - He shrugged for a second and recompose
- You couldn´t hurt me, don´t be absurd - His eyes were cold again but he chuckled and pulled me to the house. Of course I couldn´t hurt him, how can you hurt someone if you simply don´t care, if you are indifferent.
Dinner was delicious, even tho vampires didn´t eat they could cook amazing things. Esme made Italian food, the smell, texture and temperature made it even more perfect, I could taste everything she used to make this pasta and it tasted great.
- Esme, did you ever consider opening a restaurant? - I asked eating more
- No, but I should really consider it. We are not used to cook. - She laughed
- You should go into business, it would be a sin to die without tasting your food Esme. Charlie would give his two arms for this pasta, I bet.
Everyone laughed, when I finished eating we moved back into the living room, only Alice, Carlisle and Esme were still questioning about my life, Alice already had a brush in hand playing with my hair. I didn´t mind being her barbie, as long as I had her in my life I could be her giant paper doll that I wouldn´t care.
After long hours I was starting to fell a bit sleepy and made the huge mistake of letting out the werewolves secret, we were talking about Leah and Jacob again and I let escape the imprinting thing after you became a werewolf. I could see Edward sitting in front of us clutching his fists into balls.
- Werewolves? - Carlisle asked amazed
- Yeah - I paused thinking of how much I could tell them.
- But when...? We thought the line died with Ephraim Black
- Jake said that when you moved back to Forks you set things in motion - I shrugged at his surprise, I thought he was supposed to know that
- When did they started changing?
- I´m not sure, Jake told me Sam changed before I moved to Forks, I don´t really know about Paul and Jared, maybe a few months before you left, But Jake, Quill, Embry and Seth changed only after months.
- Amazing. - Carlisle was lost in his thoughts - But if we were gone, would did they keep changing?
- I guess Laurent and Victoria were the reason - Edward hissed and growled now.
- Laurent? Vic-Victoria? - Edward asked
- They came back for me after a few months, but the wolves got them. - I remembered my best friend fighting Victoria, and almost panicked.
- We are so sorry Bella, we didn´t know they would come for you - Carlisle shook his head and placed his hand on my shoulder.
- It´s ok Carlisle, no one got hurt. - I assured him but let out a involuntary yawn.
- I think I should drive you home now Bella - Alice said pulling me up the couch
- But I have to get my truck
- It´s ok. Edward will drive it home, won´t you Edward? - He looked at her with flaming eyes if looks could kill Alice would be dead on the floor.
- Now let´s go Bella, we have a big day tomorrow. - What? we did? I wasn´t expecting for that but it made me want to sing, knowing I would have at least Alice tomorrow already made my life happier.
I said good bye to everyone, Esme begged me to come back soon, and if it depended on me I would, I loved everyone here, but I didn´t want to cause pain, especially for Edward. Alice made the way back faster, or so it seemed because I was half asleep. When we got to my truck I said good bye to them too sleepy to bother Alice about our plans for tomorrow and headed for it, I opened the driver´s side and started going in but a cold hand stopped me.
- What do you think you are doing? - He asked looking at me with hard eyes
- I´m driving home - I said in confusion
- You honestly believe I would let you drive in this state? You might actually kill someone - He chuckled, I groaned
- I´m perfectly fine, now move - I tried to dodge him but he was in front of the door before I could get in, he was so close I could smell his sweet scent I could feel it intoxicating every cell of my body
- Please Bella? You didn´t make me come all the way down here for nothing did you?
- Me? You should talk to Alice, she is the one you want - I pointed to where the Mercedes was parked a minute before but she was already gone. He was still looking at me pleading with his eyes, how could I say no? I had so little to offer him, and if that would make him happy... - Go slow ok? Remember, ancient truck. I know you drive like crazy.
He nodded in promise, I dropped my keys to his hand and moved to the passenger sit. He was keeping his promise, I guess he wasn´t in the mood for my talk about his crazy driving today, it was so silent I had a hard time not sleeping, I skipped in and out of continence, but at some point I couldn´t hold anymore and just fell asleep.
Chapter 5 Teaser
-Great! Just a minute - I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my hand breathing through my mouth to avoid passing out and went for the door I was so frustrated with the situation that I didn´t pay any attention to my tone when I opened it.
- What? - I widened my eyes. Edward´s eyes flew to my hand where I just had open a cut - Wait here. I´m so sorry about this.
- Bella are you alright? - He was beside me taking my hand before I could even take two steps. I knew how much pain this caused him, and I knew it was much more painful because my blood made him burn more than any blood ever did.