Chapter 6: By Your Side

The night settled into silence, but the rain continued to fall.

Fast asleep in their beds in the room along the corridor were Clemont and Bonnie, while Serena stayed kneeling there by Ash's bedside.

She felt the atmosphere calm around her. She opened the window slightly by undoing the hatch and pushing onto the soaking wood with force, allowing it to open. After such a heavy storm, the wood had already begun to absorb the water, causing it to rub further against the frame of the window. With the rain still falling she felt somewhat melancholic, the heavy wood was a sign of the imminent winter. She felt like autumn too had been taken from her, as she looked back over at Ash, still silent, still motionless.

She rested her elbows on the windowsill and briefly began to ponder in her thoughts as she watched the rain shower over the small structure of the fishing shack. No matter where she looked, the darkness of the rural night cast a thick shadow over the once beautiful autumn scenery. Everything had faded to nothing. Everything had seemingly left her. Even as she looked over to Ash on the bed, she had to remind herself constantly that she wasn't alone. He was still there, and she would be there with him for the entire duration of the night, however much longer it took.

She tried to recall all of the Pokemon back into their PokeBalls, but the look of pure fear bustling from Noibat's big yellow eyes stopped her from calling it back into hiding. She realised just how fragile its perception of what was going on would be. Pure dread from infant eyes. The sight of her emotions too were potentially scarring. It needed babying, it needed reassurance. Then again, so did everyone else. Serena had to hang on tight to every hint she could get that Ash would wake up. In a world where silence reigned amongst the infinite rain, the slow but steady heartbeat that she could feel from Ash's chest was the most valuable sound she could ever have at that moment.

Noibat continued to stare at Serena with those large round eyes. It didn't utter a word, but it looked scared. It held out both of its hands, tiny and fragile, and crept towards her. She stepped back from the window, knowing there was nothing out there for her in the black shroud of darkness, and saw Noibat innocently edging towards her with minuscule steps. She was a giant compared to it; looking down she couldn't help but be overwhelmed with pity. It was hesitant, shivering with each move, but Serena welcomed it, offering it a place in her loving motherly arms.

She picked it up and let it sit on her lap as she found a chair and positioned it next to Ash's bed. She felt Noibat relax its tensed wings as it settled into her warm hands. It sat there with her, looking on with a smear of sadness. Wondering when its trainer would come back to it, wondering when it would be petted again, and when it would next be fed. Serena placed a hand on top of its head, and with her thumb stroked through its lilac fur, hoping to relax it, to let it know everything would be all right.

"Don't worry Noibat... Ash will be fine." She softly whispered, sensing it reacting positively to the motions of her thumb.

"He may be resting right now, but Ash is strong. He'll be back fighting again in no time." She tried to add a flare of confidence to her tone, but felt her throat become heavier again. She knew each word she said was one that she so desperately wanted to hear herself. She bit her tongue, holding her emotions in check. She wanted to stay strong. Ash wouldn't want to see her like this. She wanted to be petted, embraced by Ash's body heat and know that he was there with her again. Noibat's ears dipped, it wanted to believe Serena just as much as she wanted to believe herself. Doubts and fears continued to swarm her mind as she felt another headache beckon, but she had to keep on tucking away those anxieties. She was adamant that she would not give up. She continued to pet Noibat, holding it closer, hugging it, and letting it feel her comforting embrace.

"It's okay Noibat, I'm taking care of Ash, just like he'd take care of us, right? And of course, I'm taking care of you, too." She forced a smile, anything to make it happy again. Anything to feel even a glimpse of what it was like to smile once more.

"... We're all here for each other after all, right?" Putting on a higher pitched tone, she felt it bury itself further into her chest as it covered its face with its ears. She continued to lightly stroke it. Her voice was crackling, her throat swelling. She wanted to release her emphatic emotions and let the world know her pain, she just wanted Ash to wake up for her. She just wanted him back.

Noibat's breathing had started to become deeper. She sensed that its energy was close to running out, and that fatigue would soon catch up on the young bat. She lightly ran her index finger over its belly, tickling the child, listening for its cheerful chuckle. Hearing the very sound of innocence itself. How it had all become so complicated. How she wished it was simple once again, where she could lie back in bed to drift off to sleep ahead of another day of travelling with Ash and everyone.

She looked down at the laughing bat, enjoying its little game. It flailed its little limbs around as it felt the ticklish tingle from Serena's finger on its belly. In that moment she remembered to smile, to stay strong again. She saw those shiny eyes begin to shut.

"Sleepy now, huh?" She whispered as she began to cradle Noibat. Gently swaying it back to sleep. She saw those eyes almost fully shut, and leaned in close, extra close. Close enough so no one in the world could hear the secret conversation between mother and child.

"Do you think you could do something for me, Noibat?" Her soft words graced its ears. It gently purred back to respond. It took an interest in its mother's secretive request. She made the action of scanning around the room, letting Noibat know that she would utter words that no one else was allowed to hear. She guarded her mouth, and leaned in to whisper.

"Go and find Ash in his dream. He's in there somewhere, and right now he seems a bit lost. Go and find him, and bring him back here. Go for broke and fly higher than the sky wants you to! Don't give up until the end. Search long and hard..." She felt her chest tighten again. She placed a hand on her heart.

"... because I really miss him." The words had mercifully left her, and were received by Noibat. Its eyes fully shut, and it turned over onto its side, seemingly already in a deep sleep. It had embarked on its mission to find its trainer.

She watched as Noibat sailed away to sleep, and took her hand away from her heart and picked up its PokeBall. She recalled it with a beam of blue light, and sat there, alone. Pikachu had hid himself under Ash's hat, trying to hold on dearly to the last flicker of warmth from his trainer's favourite cap, leaving just her awake. Just her and Ash, and the backdrop of blackness.

His clothes were still scarred from the abyss of mud the group had been swallowed in. The white trim on his electric blue jacket had been scuffed by various debris, while his jacket itself was helplessly heavy from all of the rain it had soaked up. Surely the weight of it sitting on his shoulders was uncomfortable. She thought to herself how lying there in those soaking, dirty clothes could only make matters worse. There wasn't a lot Serena could really do with him still unconscious, but she made herself useful. She forced the issue. She had to make him comfortable in his bed.

Tentatively, she approached him, getting closer with each breath. The occasional thought of him suddenly waking up as she leaned over him began to tease her, only that in this situation, she wouldn't care at all. She would do anything for him to wake up. She continued on, climbing onto the bed, and placing her knees either side of his stomach. Leaning over, she attended to his battle-worn face. She took a handkerchief from her bag, and gazed at it for a moment. Everything between Ash and her had started with a simple handkerchief. As he lied there, cold and unconscious, she prayed that the handkerchief she had in her hands would be able to start everything once again, that it would be able to bring him back from his concussion. She had folded it neatly, and inhaled its scent to ensure it was clean and pristine. She saw Ash's muddy face, it needed her help, it was practically calling for it. She quickly scanned around the room to ensure she was definitely alone. No one was there, no one was watching. In a flash, she bought the handkerchief close to her lips, and placed a kiss on its soft cotton texture. From then on she set about wiping Ash's face clean, ensuring she reached all around his cheeks, right across his jawline, and over his forehead. Seeing his tanned skin glow with cleanliness once more made him appear that bit closer to her once again. It was the face of purity, the face of brave innocence; a face that previously knew no fear.

She blushed slightly; did that count as kissing him?

She reached for her hairbrush from her backpack. Usually it was strictly reserved for only her, as Braxien and Pancham both had their own special ones to use for when being groomed. She knew for certain that there would be no such thing in Ash's own belongings, so it couldn't be helped. She paused with the brush in her hand briefly, poking at the bristles. She had never recalled Ash doing anything to his hair at all. Apart from the spontaneous afro everyone suffered after an explosion from a Clemont invention, Ash's hair was always the same. She felt a slight tinge of jealously. To her, it was gorgeously luscious, thick raven hair. So thick she wanted to bite it off and chew it.

She reached forward, and stuck her brush into the labyrinth of his thick hair. Realising how difficult it would be to manoeuvre, she immediately wished she hadn't. She yanked at the brush, refusing to budge as it got caught. It was like his hair had immediately gripped the brush. At least something was alive. She began to pull more aggressively, becoming irritated that her very own hairbrush was stuck inside Ash's messy hairdo. In that very moment, after another harsh pull, she felt a jolt. Beneath her legs, his stomach suddenly tensed up, his fingers stretched out, and a long gasp of air sailed out of his mouth. He had reacted. His fingers relaxed again, his stomach sunk. Even for just a moment, he was there. She looked down below her in shock, her heartbeat was racing. She put another hand over his chest; his was too. Two hearts, both pounding in sync. A hint of happiness danced within her, and then a chuckle. He may have suffered a serious concussion, but even under these circumstances, Ash still didn't like being groomed. Their hearts were beating in sync, somewhere, he was there. Somewhere, there was a connection between the two.

Spurred on by the glimpse of a revelation, she continued to groom him. She didn't know if her weight was bothering him at all, but after that reaction, if anything it felt like a good thing. She spent a few moments carefully untying each strand of hair from the bristles on her brush, before zipping it back up into her backpack. His face had been restored to its formerly vibrant self. Now for those clothes. His jacket felt disgustingly awkward to wear. A weight not worth bearing even when unconscious. He was lying on his back, and so the task of removing it meant she had to attempt to lift him up. She lifted his left arm, and pulled it out of the sleeve. She wanted to test her luck, where she held it in the air, and let it drop to check, just in case by the slightest of chances he was really unconscious beneath her.

It fell to the mattress like a rock.

She breathed a sigh of disappointment.

Over to the other arm.

She once again pulled it out of the sleeve, and held it close to her. She laid out his hand onto hers, comparing their sizes. Her hand was miniature in comparison to his, although it was hidden away by those thick, rugged gloves. He didn't need those. Now wasn't the time for dressing like a brave hero. She pulled at them, feeling the threads rip from his skin following where they had been previously stuck. He must have been sweating, they were tough little items. She held his wrist tightly, and pulled each glove off, feeling his skin breath. She laid out his hand onto hers once more, this time feeling the fragile, exposed skin that she never usually got to see. It was adorably tender. She squeezed around his fingers, and glanced up occasionally checking to see if he was really looking. Each fingernail was surprisingly well trimmed. More impressively he seemingly managed to not develop the habit of biting away at his nails. Maybe he had more vanity than he cared to ever mention. Still though, as she found herself absorbed in gazing at his hands, she forgot about getting the soggy coat off from him. She had sorted the sleeves, and ensured it was fully unzipped. She shuffled up to his neck, and pulled at full strength to get the back of the jacket from under him. She heaved, straining her arms at the sheer weight that it had accumulated, until she finally whipped it away from him. It was completely drenched. She felt uncomfortable just by holding it. She held it on the tips of her fingers, and carried it away, hanging it on the back of a wooden chair.

She returned back to her patient, feeling like a true Nurse Joy rather than the one she simply dressed up as before. Ash needed to be fully comfortable in his bed. The look of him still wearing his shoes, especially with the mud still dripping from the soles definitely had to go. She hesitantly approached his feet, and loosened the tongue on his trainers. Pulling at them required less effort than his jacket; they slipped off quite easily. His skin could at last breathe, he could at last feel the warm temperature of the room without those wet clothes damaging him any further. She rolled up his trousers to his knees, and then stood back in satisfaction that he was now dry and a lot more comfortable than before. Although, surely lying flat on his back couldn't have felt too good. What if his back locked? The thought made her cringe, especially if Ash was to wake up in a shock. It could be terribly painful. She climbed over him once more, and slotted her arms underneath his biceps. Using the strength of her arms and elbows she pulled him upright, and leaned him against the wall. She place an extra cushion by his neck to prop him up. Even if he was still absent from her, and not around to appreciate it, she felt a flush of joy from being able to look after Ash like this. She then tucked him into the duvet, making sure it was extra tight around his body to keep him warm during the night. If only he could appreciate being snug like that at the time, maybe she could earnestly smile again. The reality was that her crush was still trapped away from her, lost somewhere in his own consciousness. Hopefully Noibat was calling for him now. Maybe he would move again. She eagerly anticipated the next time he would show a glimpse of life. It bought her excitement, hope that he would be returning to her soon. She sat back down closely by his bedside, and tried to think positively. It had been hours since the storm, the night was now advancing into the early hours of the morning. She repeated to herself that a good night of sleep would do him a world of good. Maybe that's all he needed. Maybe it was just a brief knock, maybe he would arise triumphantly in the middle of the night, and greet her with a relieved grin again. She smiled; she would love such a moment. She thought on. Maybe he would awaken by her side, and realise after all the care she had given him just what she felt. Maybe this would be the catalyst in connecting their feelings. She felt his heartbeat once more and grinned- they were still in sync.

She let out a yawn, feeling herself tiring. She thought how a good night's sleep would do her good too. It had been quite simply a tragic day. Autumn had vanished, and so had Ash. Yet she wouldn't let herself stay down about it. She anticipated his big awakening in the morning, where the group would gather around with the Pokemon and cheer in joy. It was like waiting for Santa to come, only in this case it was Ash. She waited for him to return, so he could light up her world once more. More and more she made herself believe he would wake up soon. Whatever she could do to keep herself smiling, whatever she could do to make her feel like Ash was close. She just wanted him back.

She leaned over him, knowing her eyes would drop off to sleep at any moment. Similar to how she stroked Noibat, she placed a hand over the top of his forehead, and stroked gently across his skin with her thumb. She felt warm being this close to him. He was just sleeping. And she was just awake. There really was no use worrying about him. Ash was there, right in front of her; gradually resting himself back to normal; fighting his own battle.

She had an opportunity like no other. Having already groomed him, propped him up and washed him, she decided to take her reward for her efforts. After all, she was alone.

She leaned in, bringing her face close to his. She felt the breath from her nostrils blow over the tiny hairs on Ash's face.

She shut the world away from her. At this very moment it was just Ash and her. No rain could fall between them.

She opened her mouth, and began to whisper to him.

"You may be soundly sleeping right now but...
that's okay.
You've had a long day.
A tough day.
I'm sorry for blacking out on the cliff back there...
I should have been more careful.
… I should have been more careful for your sake, too.
I couldn't catch you, Ash.
For that I'm really sorry.
But hey, I know you're strong.
I know you won't ever give up.
I know you'll wake up.
I want you to know that,
right now,
I'll be with you for every moment.
Watching over you,
caring for you,
and of course for all of your Pokemon.
They miss you...
I miss you.
But I know you'll wake up for us.
I know you will."

She whispered close to his ear, and felt nerves swell up in her stomach. Did she really utter such heartfelt words directly to his face? Inside, her emotions swirled with the tension. Almost ironically, just inches apart from his motionless face, she couldn't feel more alive. Being close to him felt... just right.

She leaned in closer.

For a moment she dropped the nerves, and acted to her heart's content.

She pressed her lips against his forehead, feeling her emotions sink into his soft skin. If only he was there to realise. She kissed him; conveying affection in the place where he probably felt trapped, as his mind struggled for consciousness. In that very moment, just a glimpse of her inner feelings had sizzled out onto Ash.

"Sweet dreams, Ash." She whispered once more, before pulling away, and resting her head on the mattress. She would remain by his side for the rest of the night, sleeping soundly with the hope and belief that he would finally be awake by the morning.

Her eyes felt heavy, all the tension in her muscles relaxed. She was sailing, sailing off to sleep, sailing away from the cruel sea of blackness that was flooding Route 16 outside. She was sailing away, hoping that she would return to autumn again, and return to Ash's side.

Her heart throbbed, she felt herself longing. Yet she drifted away to sleep in anticipation that he would awaken by the morning. Spurred on by her belief, she continued waiting.

She was waiting for the moment that he would finally return to her.

She felt as if she could sense it;
surely he would be awake by the morning.
Surely he would awaken to her, where there was so much that she wanted to tell him.