I´m really sorry about the time it took me to update a new chapter, with a new baby home it´s hard to keep the rhythm up.

Chapter 9

EPOV

I was still thinking about Bella´s expression while having that nightmare, I knew she had vivid dreams but to see her in so much pain felt like I was being mutilated, I couldn´t stop thinking what could have happened in Forks with Victoria and Laurent that would still cause her nightmares, maybe we all coming into her life again is bringing back memories. And why was she calling my name? I was not there for her at the time and if it was not for the wolves…. I was interrupted by Alice´s loud thoughts.

"SHE IS PERFECT!" Alice started thinking on how much effort Bella had put into choosing that particular outfit, according to Alice, Bella lacked taste for clothing.

I finally looked at her. I already knew she was perfect, I would never be able to forget any of her features, but this Bella looked different, she always had that adult look that did not match her age, I knew she had changed a lot but now her body was changed. The dark outfit enhanced her creamy skin and as she walked towards us I could clearly see the difference between this Bella and the Bella I used to hold in my arms. I had to fight the urge to run to and tell her I didn´t want her to have a happy human life with Mike or with anyone but me.

"She looks delicious right Edward?" Alice thought giggling pulling me back from my thoughts

"You look good Bella" I said trying to hide all the jealous, envy and regret that I had inside me at that moment.

"Thanks" She said dragging her voice, it was clear she was tired. I kept her from her rest and Alice was now dragging her to a concert. What was I thinking, I should have stopped Alice, but the idea of spending every second I could with her was too irresistible.

"Hi Jasper" She waved at Jasper and he responded with a nod

"Are you okay Edward?" He asked feeling the tornado of emotions, I just nodded in response.

Jasper started commenting on the concert we were about to attend but he was holding a silent conversation with me.

"You still love her" he affirmed, I just nodded

"So why not tell her and finish this torment? Oh, her human life right?" I could see a hint of a smile on his lips, what was this? He thought this was funny? I could see from the rear view mirror Bella was asleep on Alice´s shoulder.

"Yes, this is about her life. She is finally getting what I wished so much for her" I said in a low voice I didn´t want to disturb her

"Well, you are wrong Edward" Alice joined us

"What do you mean?" I hissed

"She is not with Mike" Alice said with a wide smile on her face and I could feel the same smile spreading on mine, I had to control this hope that filled my body, even if she was not with that boy I was the one who had caused her so much pain and I was not sure if she had forgiven me at all. She fought the idea of being friends so hard, I imagine her reaction if I told her I regretted my decision and wanted her back now.

"This doesn´t change things. She looks perfectly fine without me. I knew this could happen the moment I left her…"

"Don´t be stupid Edward, she loves you, can´t you see?" Alice raised her voice and Bella mumbled something.

"Enough Alice" I growled

The rest of the travel was a silent. I was constantly watching Bella through the mirror wishing I was the one to comfort her in her sleep. At least my torture was at ease now, knowing that she could still be my Bella, just the thought of her being held by arms other than mine made my entire body burn with jealousy and even knowing this was the path I chose I could not endure it. Four years seemed an eternity, I was more like a zombie than a vampire, but now with the possibility of having my angel back made my previous reasons for leaving her seem meaningless.

I wanted her to have a normal human life, to experiment everything she should, but I also wanted her more than I ever wanted anything. I could give her something close to a human life, I knew now the monster inside me would never be able to overcome my love for her, it doesn't matter how tasty she looks or how amazing she smells, the thirst would never be able to overcome the joy I feel when I hear my name coming out of her lips or the electric current that runs through my veins when I feel her warm touch.

We soon arrived at our destination. Alice shook her ever so slightly.

"Wake up Bella" She looked around a bit confused trying to figure where she was.

"How long have I been sleeping Alice?"

"Enough to enjoy the night" Alice laughed pulling her out of the car. "Come now, I don´t want to miss anything"

We passed through the security handling our tickets and receiving bracelets to identify our section. I could hear the thoughts surrounding Bella coming from one of the crew members and I felt like smashing his face on the wall. But before I could do anything stupid I saw Bella sitting on a chair, she still looked a bit sleepy maybe a drink would help her wake up. I moved to her chair and lowered to face her.

"Would you like to drink something?"

"Just give me a second and I´ll grab something from the bar" She was absurd. Was she never going to learn that even a vampire I was still a gentleman?

"I´ll get if for you, I don´t want a sleep walker getting lost. What do you want?"

"I´ll start with water please" I moved fast towards the bar and came back with her drink.

"Thanks" she took a few sips of water and sudden realization came to her. "I´ll be right back" she said moving from me and heading for a toilet.

"Don´t take too long it´s almost starting"

"Okay"

As soon as Bella left my entire body stiffened, I had forgotten about Tania this was one of her favorite bands so I was pretty sure she was going to be here. She spotted Jasper and Alice first, I gave my back to her trying to hide though I knew this was an impossible task. I felt her leaning over my shoulder.

"Hello Tania" I said in a polite tone

"It is impossible to surprise you isn´t it?" She laughed I smiled

"I didn´t know you liked this kind of music Edward"

"Well, Alice needed a driver, and you know how terrible she can be when she doesn´t get things her way" I swiftly moved to face her and put some space between us. I didn´t want to spend my night with her, I wanted Bella.

"The show already started Tania, I don´t want you to miss one of your favorite bands" I tried to be as polite as I could but she I could hear in her thoughts she resented me for all the times I said no to her.

"You are right. Well enjoy the show." She parted without saying anything else.

I scanned the place quickly trying to spot Bella but she was nowhere in sight, she usually took a bit longer on her human minutes.

Two or three songs passed and there was still no sign of my angel so I started looking for her. She was not hard to find, she was sitting at the bar drinking beer, she had changed, a lot. I felt unease to this new information about her, what else had changed? Her feelings? I didn´t want those to change, I wanted her to love me like she did. But again I was the one who said that the beauty in being human is that things change. Maybe she had forgotten me. Accessing this I didn´t dare to approach her.

The hours passed and she didn´t even moved, she looked completely focused on her drink she pondered something, got up and started moving. Was she ok? Did she need to throw up? Took me a second to realize she was heading for the exit. I moved to her as fast as I could and as soon as I was one foot from her she tripped but I managed to catch her. This was the Bella I knew.

"You should be more careful" I felt her body stiffening

"Yeah, I know" She sighed pushing my arms away and heading for the exit again, but before she could take a step I held her arm.

"Where are you going?"

"To a hotel. Too drunk"

"And since when you drink?" The music was loud so I moved her closer to me. I pressed her back against a wall, this would avoid her dodging and trying to go out drunk in a city she barely knows. She was a magnet problem and I was not willing to risk it.

"Well, you missed four years remember? There is a lot I do now that you don´t know" that stung, so she still resented me.

"At least let me take you"

"I´d hate to ruin your night, I can go by myself" Silly Bella, my night would only be ruined by being apart from you.

"I promise I won´t bother you, just make sure you get safe" I moved closer to her ears and whispered "Please?"

"Edward, what are you doing?" I felt her breath on my cheek

"Trying to convince you that it would be safer if you let me go with you, you don´t even know where you are" I didn´t fight the urge to feel her warm skin and traced her collarbone with my fingertips I felt the electricity running through my body, I couldn't resist her, I didn't want to.

"Fine, but I´ll just wait for Alice, I don´t want to be a burden" She pushed me and got a chair near Alice and Jasper, so she didn´t want me. Four years ago she was the one willing to take any risk to be with me, but now she wouldn´t trust me for a simple ride.

I kept thinking about all the things I missed in these four years, all the things that changed her, how she was able to get over this, get over me. I realized that every second I was apart from her a part of me died. For the second time I felt like my heart was being ripped off my chest. When I had the courage to look at her again she was sleeping, she looked uncomfortable.

"Maybe you should take her back to the hotel" Alice said, I just nodded

I held her up trying not to disturb her sleep. We got to the hotel I got our keys at the reception and took Bella to her room, when we were at the door she woke up. Her voice was dragging.

"I´m sorry Alice, I didn´t want to ruin this for you." It seems she was completely over me she didn´t even recognize my smell or my touch. I was in so much pain I didn´t respond, I turned the lights on and started moving her to the bed

"Please leave it off, I think the hang over came sooner"

"I´m really really sorry Alice, it´s just that your brother... I think I still" She still hates me? Still can´t forgive me? Still what? I couldn´t decide if she was calling me Alice because she was upset or because she was drunk, so I kept silent. If she was upset I didn´t want her even more angry for being the one who brought her. She sat on the bed and removed her boots and then she started moving to the bathroom, I would wait till she was safe in bed. When she came back she had no clothes on, she was just in her underwear, was she trying to kill me? I let out a low gasp and without noticing I cracked a chair.

"Geez, Alice, I said I was sorry, I will make it up for you I promise" As soon as she was in bed I darted out the room. Even not knowing it was me she liked to torture me. Was this an unconscious payback for leaving her? I struggled not to go back in that room and beg her for forgiveness.

This night seemed longer than the other nights I knew she had all reasons to be upset with me but she did accept to be friends. Maybe she was doing it just to make me feel better, that would be only natural, in the end there must be something I still knew about Bella, the urge to make everyone around her happy, even if that meant that she was in suffering.

If I was right and she still had that in her maybe the idea of trying to get closer to her, even as a friend was only cause her to suffer more. But now that I had her so close again would I be able to leave her? Knowing that she could get hurt at any second or that she could fall in love by someone else other than me. Maybe if I pretend to leave and watch from a safe distance to prevent anything or anyone to harm her… No, this was not right no matter how much I wanted her I had to remind myself every second that I was the one that caused this.

I let my thoughts drag into the night and soon enough it was morning. Alice had planned a big shopping day but I was willing to stay at the hotel. I went to my room and changed clothes and went back to the reception. Alice and Jasper were already there waiting.

"So, did you tell her?" Alice chanted with a malefic smile

"Told her what Alice?"

"Well, Edward, Told her that you still love her" She smiled again

"You would know" I responded with sarcasm I could see a hint of annoyance in her look.

Before the conversation could go on I saw Bella heading to our direction the memory of last night soon flooded my mind and I couldn´t help but to feel embarrassed.

"So Alice, what´s the plan?" She asked, I could see she was having a bit of hang over due to last night´s drinking.

"We are going to shop!" She clapped her hands Bella groaned, I felt smug for knowing she still hated shopping but I put on a grimace "Fine you don´t have to come with me, but you..." She grabbed Jasper´s arm and started moving away.

"You should tell her" Alice thought with an amused look.

I caught her peaking at me and I felt embarrassed once again. I had to put a plan in action but I was still to decide if I wanted to confess myself to her and expect her to forgive me and take me back or to leave her once again and take care of her from a safe distance….