Confessions

Later on that evening, nearly all the turtles were hot and bothered and Rae was stuck in the middle of it all, in a way. She wrote as much as she could and sometimes had some fun to herself, but it was starting to get a little too much so she had to hide in Master Splinter's room. The activities were slowing down, so she deemed it safe to come out, especially since she could hear someone punching on the bag. She knew, from Master Splinter's words, that she was going to have to be a little careful.

Mikey could be a little hyped and Donny, though she wasn't sure if he was making love to his little brother or not, was a little gentler and somewhat aggressive when it came down to mating season. Raphael though, probably was dangerous. Him being temperamental meant being bi-polar in bed. Gentle and probably violent. She reached the door to the training room and watched him punch the bag. Carefully she walked over to him, "Hey…"

Raph sipped and missed the bag, ending up stumbling passed it and then he pressed his shell against it, gripping it with his hands behind him, "Rae…You're here…" he murmured, "H-Hi, I'm…very sorry I avoided you, Rae."

"I understand why." Rachel assured him. "It's tough on every one of you. To be honest, I think I'm the one avoiding you and your family. I had to hide a few times and finally stayed in Splinter-sensei's room." She paused. "Are…are you feeling okay?"

"I'm…I don't know…I was trying to beat out some tension," Raph admitted, "I'm…afraid…I managed to catch Leo an hour ago while you were in Father's room. He wore Bria out, I guess...he forgot what he did, but he guessed easily…"

"Poor Bria," Rachel said with a slight giggle, "I think she had fun though."

'He said he very slightly remembered how rough I can be…' Raph thought and frowned. Why couldn't he tell her anything? "I think so; too…He said he regrets it, not being able to remember. Especially now he's with Bria. He was crying when I found him…"

Rachel frowned and bowed her head a bit. "It's terrible not being able to remember, but if you're willing to try again without the mating season part…well…at least the memory comes back. I suppose it's gotta be tough…especially since the girls or…well…anyone can remember and it sucks for you guys cause you can't. Aaand I just realized how insensitive this sounds." She slapped her forehead.

Raphael felt his chest burn and he bit his lip, "Yeah…" he agreed, but not to what. He supposed it was to all of it, "Kami…" he was burning so hot! While Leo had Bria's sweetness, and though Lily was injured Mikey and Don had it going on, but he had nothing but his hands during that long and torturous afternoon. He was pent up and desperate, but he swore to himself and Rachel he would not take her just for a quick "bang". No, he refused.

She reached out and touched his head, feeling how hot he was from his normally clammy temperature. Rachel swallowed thickly, she could tell him that she could do something for him, anything to ease this for him, but at the same time she didn't want to pressure him or hurt him in some fashion. Besides, he told her he didn't want to hurt her. Yet, he was hurting himself. "…Do you need an outlet?" She asked finally.

Raph groaned at her touch and pulled her roughly to him, shoving his mouth against hers, "Rae…" he murmured against her soft flesh, and trailed his burning tongue along her lips.

She gasped softly, feeling herself flame up from feeling his want, his need, in every touch he made. Just one kiss and she was already melted against him. It wasn't right, shouldn't be right, but it was somehow. "Ah." She gasped when she felt him kiss her neck and licked it like he had back in Andy's apartment. It was the one thing that really got her wet in a flash. "Raph…" She whispered, wondering if he was going to push her away again. He was more likely to do that than to stay.

"Rae…Kami…" Raphael churred against her skin, gripping her against his plastron. However, when he felt himself thicken inside where he was hidden, he groaned and couldn't stop himself from grinding against her, "Rae…Rae…" he chanted softly, shaking.

Rachel felt herself respond to the grinding. Her hips gently matched his rhythm. Even though he wasn't really touching her, even though the sounds he was making were getting her hotter and needier, it felt so good. She wanted to drag him down on the floor, to take everything off and just let things go. However, she had to remind herself that she wasn't the one who was steering. Raph had to be comfortable with this, too.

Raph rippled out a groan, but then he felt her respond acutely and jerked violently, nearly tripping over his own feet, "Oh Kami…Rae…I'm so, so sorry!" he whined, feeling how painful staying confined was as he moved. He shook his head, ashamed, "Forgive me…I'm very sorry!" he pleaded and then yanked away when she reached for him. He couldn't do it, he would surely hurt her.

Thanks to the extra fact that if, say Mikey and/or Don caught him and Leo, they remembered just fine. Mikey had ever so kindly told Raph how rough to the point of making Leo bleed he was. He couldn't do that to her, she would hate him, and he wouldn't be able to remember to apologize properly.

Rachel watched him leave and she walked over to the training room's door to see Donny's lab door close shut. She felt herself slide down the frame and she brought her legs up. Normally she would be appalled to spread her legs for anyone, but Raph wasn't just anyone. And the feelings and the want……she never felt that before and she had wanted to explore...but where's the point of thinking about it when he clearly couldn't do it? As she brought her legs up, she felt how wet she became and groaned. Jesus, he really had bad timing. She was hot, wanting, and he bolts away…and she couldn't help but to admit to herself that she admired that in a guy.

It wasn't just the sex they wanted, but the love. He would never remember it though, and it hurt a lot, just to even think about how hard it was going to be. He'd never know, she'd always know, she could tell him, but then...he'd feel terrible afterward because the memory would never return. Her heart sunk. Was she really prepared for that? To be the one to know? It was hurting him…he needed an outlet…she was the only one besides Leo.

Raphael hit his head against the door, "Damn!" he cursed heavily and slid down the door, whimpering.

"Raph!" Lily frowned, "What happened to you?!" she asked. She wished she could go to his side, but Don had strapped her to the seat to keep her from moving her back. She had quite the difficult time that afternoon watching Mikey waltz right in and seduce Donatello.

Donny decided to take over, "Raph hasn't really……gotten his fill." He explained to Lily. "And it seems to me, if I'm not hazy minded and inferring this wrong, but he wants Rae."

Raph whimpered and put his head on his knees, "Yes…I do want her. Ever so badly…"

"You should see if she'll do it with you," Mikey said cheerfully, "You told her everything this morning and I'm sure she's feeling a little left out."

"I…she does, Mikey…" Raph took off his bandana and rubbed his face.

"Then why not?" Lily frowned, "You're both in desire…"

"Mikey was ever so kind to tell me how rough I can be…" Raph groaned, "I don't want to hurt her."

Donny decided to pick his words carefully with Raph. "She's been on the streets longer than she's been in a household full of family members. What she's seeing right now is equivalent to an orgy." He explained to Raph. "She's been through a lot. I'm sure she's had plenty of guys get rough with her in some fashion and maybe she's managed to tell them all off, or at least had a few causal encounters. There's no way she's innocent Raph, but I understand why you don't want to hurt her. It hurt us because we're not used to it. She probably is. If you have to, talk to her about it."

"Whenever I get close to her, I get overpowered by my need…I refuse to take her for a quick fuck, Don. I want to be with her, not get her to hate me because I hurt her in that way," Raph looked at Don desperately, "I don't know what to do…I can't hide from her, but what if…"

"What if that's exactly what she wants?" Donny countered back. "You're not just denying yourself, you're denying her. I bet she's thinking over this situation and is trying to come up with a tactful way for both of you to get your desires filled. Yes, there is a good chance you may hurt her, and there's a possible chance that she might not recover from it since she's human and you're a turtle, however those chances are so slim they're practically nonexistent. The hurting is always going to happen, because we don't know when the last time she was laid in. So there's that, also yes, you are violent, but like Mikey said, she could be into that kind of thing. You won't know until you talk to her, not us."

Raph closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead, "Are...are you certain, Donny?" he asked softly.

"Very." Donny promised.

Raphael nodded and stood up shakily, feeling a bit more controlled because his arousal had been against cold ground. He smiled thankfully at Donny, "Arigato," he nodded and gently opened the door, stepped out, and closed it. He scanned around, searching for Rae.

Rachel was lying on the couch, trying to focus on a book, but so far it wasn't working. All her mind could come up with was how she was going to talk to Raph, to assure him that she was okay with him making instant love with her. Sure, he'd forget about it and she'd remember, but wasn't that the good thing? That at least one of them would have the memory it? It was going to hurt a lot, for the both of them, but she knew that they'd get by...somehow in some fashion. She heard the door open and close and she peeked over the couch's back. "You look a little better."

Raph smiled apologetically, "Yeah, I feel a bit better. I need some advice from my brothers." He walked over to her, and smiled fondly that their morning positions were now reversed, "I'm truly sorry that I kept running away, Rae. I won't do it anymore," he told her, "I love you, I do. I…can't even begin to tell you how badly I want you, need you. However…what I'm afraid of is being too violent with you. Mikey caught Leo and I a lot...and he told me that I'm very aggressive. If I were to hurt you…"

Rachel watched him for the longest time before roughing grabbing him and reminded herself at last second to remember how to angle the kiss so that her lips to go against his roughly. When she pulled away she practically purred, "I don't care how you make love to anyone, Raph. As long as you love me before and after, I can swallow the pain."

Raphael nearly jumped the couch, but he was firm on believing she deserved something better. He rumbled out the command, "Come here." He watched her intently, the fire boiling his blood.

Rachel smiled as she pushed herself closer to him and slowly approached him, making sure each move was duly noted. Her eyes stayed glued on his face, watching every reaction as she made her action. When she got in front of him, she felt nervous but ready.

Raph took her arm, but it was gentle in spite of the firm hold, "Though I will forget, I'll make you burn, so you have no choice to remember," he growled and licked her neck, dragging out the action. Slowly, he pulled her along towards his room, the place she'd become used to crashing at during resting time after training, and occasionally at night, too.

Her mind was in a haze as he dragged her upstairs, practically torturing her by going so slow. When they reached the door, he took extra time in opening the door. However, she was quite surprised when he suddenly tossed her onto the bed with a rough shove. It didn't shock her, but it did make her feel a little warm. Her heart raced as he practically was slinking towards the bed.

Raphael made sure to lock the door, even though he was certain no one would bother them, it made him feel safer. He finally pulled away the covers and tossed them onto the floor, having a good feeling they'd just get tangled if they stayed on. Teasingly his hand ran along her arm, and he watched her melt backwards, how he needed her to be as he crawled on and hovered over her. Kissing her, he allowed his fingers underneath her shirt, "I look forward, by the way, to hearing your sexy voice telling me how you felt while I did things to you, how you thought I was," he churred as he nibbled on the nape of her neck.

"So far, honey, I won't be able to have the words to describe any of it." She said as she helped him take off the shirt. She had many more layers of clothing than he did and a part of her told her to hurry up and take them all off while another part told her to stay put and wait for him. She listened to the patient voice.

"Hearing what you come up with will be all the more thrilling, then, babe," Raph churred low and traced her bra curiously, making sure his skin touched hers. He then bent down and kissed her, and planted kisses all over her face, and then nibbled on her ear lobe before going around and doing the same to the other ear. He then found her sweet spots, and tortured her that way for a few moments.

Her body ached, arched and demanded him to keep touching her. Everything he kissed and licked left a lingering sensation on her skin, burning it to her memory. They hurt a lot but it also felt so good. Her moans and soft whimpers weren't enough to satisfy her. "You were scared you were going to hurt me." She murmured softly. "And yet you're not even being rough." She wasn't challenging him, she was assuring him.

"I'm want to be gentle with foreplay," he corrected and Raph smiled, "I can't control it when I'm inside, though." He then caught her bra right while she was arched, and unclipped it. He trailed down her collar bone and licked and sucked her soft silky skin. He brought his hands up and took off the bra, straddling her hips as he tossed the garment into the darkness. He smirked wickedly, and opened his mouth. Due to the way his mouth was shaped, he was able to fit her breast into it.

"Ah, ah!" Rachel whimpered, feeling herself groan at the end of her whine. His tongue played the harshest tricks, teasing her and making her feel so high and ungrounded. She let out a soft cry when he started nibbling around her breast, teasing her nipple in his mouth, and of course, playing with her soft mounds.

"That's it…" Raph churred and placed himself between her legs. He switched breasts, paying equal amount of attention to the two, "I'm making you hot…that makes me happy…" he then recalled something Don had said, "Have you…had anyone else, babe?"

"You're my first." Rachel whimpered. "I tried it once with someone, but it never worked out because I'd get scared or I'd freak…also because to be honest, I was quite…ah…hmmm…shy."

"I believe it," Raph smirked, "All mine...my woman, my mate…remind me of this, babe?" he requested sincerely and suckled at her neck while his hands kneaded her squishy mounds.

"I'll always remind you," Rachel cried out, "Always." She moaned deeply, feeling his hands violate her in the perfect way.

"Arigato…Rae," Raphael chuckled, "My fingers are too big, can you undo the button and zipper of your pants, love?"

Shaking, she did what she was told and undid her pants. She brought her legs up and slipped them off, not at all needing to look at her hands but watched his lust filled expression as the pants revealed her to him. She had taken her panties off with the pants.

Raph's breath left him swiftly as he stared at her. He became curious, having never seen a woman before, and ran his hand down along her stomach, then a finger through course but pleasing hairs, and then he was hesitant, but touched the next thing he encountered, a little swollen nub.

Rachel let out a cry and she tossed her head to the side whimpering. Her chest was heaving up and down again and her face was completely flushed. She looked up to see that he looked kind of surprised at the reaction and her cheeks went red.

"You like that?" he questioned, but Raph smirked. He did it again, a bit harder this time, lightly rotating it, "How's this make you feel?"

"Good." She whispered, her voice purring, moaning and groaning at the same time. Her eyes practically rolled back in her head and she could see little stars faintly popping behind her lids. She opened them half-lidded. "It feels…so good."

Raph grinned and leaned down, nuzzling her little hairs, "You smell divine, babe," he churred silkily. He kept his thumb rotating her nub but his other fingers parted another pair of swollen lips, "You're…soaked," he churred and moaned deeply.

Her cheeks went red and she said in a soft voice. "I guess you can imagine…how often I……been waiting for this…" She said, her breaks were caused by either her gasping or whimpering as he played with her, only getting her hotter and wetter.

Raphael ran the finger of his other hand along her and then brought his finger to his mouth, licking timidly. He groaned loudly and after cleaning off his finger, he teased her before pressing it inside her, "You're…so hot…and tight, Rae…"

"Virgin, remember." Rachel whimpered and groaned as she felt him inside of her. It was the weirdest yet nicest feelings she ever felt in her life. It was strange, but it felt so good. She moaned his full name and whimpered at the end of the sentence, which wasn't much of one. "Raphael..." She moaned softly, whimpering at the end. She wasn't sure why she spoke his name, but when she did, she felt more aroused.

"Rachel, my love..." Raph churred and slowly fingered her, "Tell me...if you want another..." he flushed even hotter, if that was possible. She was lying there, so open for him, so willing and loving all of it. He admired her for this, and agreed with Leo. It hurt knowing he won't remember. Yet she still went through with it.

"Please…" She begged arching a bit, trying to take at least more of him in her. God, just god, she never thought, never dreamed, that this could happen, that this would happen. "Please…" She beseeched with a soft whimper. Oh gods, he was right. He was going to make her so hot there was no way she'd ever forget this. No way in the least.

"So quick…" Raph breathed heavily and worked her open enough to put his second out of three fingers he had, "How's this?" he churred, feeling himself rock back and forth with the excitement

She whimpered and moaned, unable to say anything, unable to do anything besides follow his slow thrusts and pray that he would give more in some fashion. She wanted to beg, but no words dared to slip out of her mouth besides the noises of approval, want, and need. Words failed her epically at this moment in time.

Raph felt her insides constrict around his fingers, and he did a scissoring motion against it, surprised at how far she arched by such a simply move. He decided to move his thumb and he began licking her mound, nipping and sucking at it, also lapping at the juices that flowed from her, "So sweet…amazing," he groaned loudly, churring.

Rachel groaned and felt herself burn with every word he said. Sweet, amazing, the compliments were practically his fingers and were touching her. It froze her mind and ran through her bloodstream, giving him more of the sweetness he wanted from her.

Raphael kept churring, breathing heavily as he tasted her, and felt himself swell passed his limit and he dropped, letting out a very passionate groan when his shaft brushed against her spread thigh and hit tip against his bedding, "Oh Kami…" he gasped and rested his forehead against her stomach, trying to catch the breath that had suddenly escaped from him.

She ran her fingers against his head and reached for his neck to massage it a bit. "Shh." She murmured quietly, "Breathe in a few times before you enter me. I don't think I can push you off me if you faint." She joked, but was a little serious in her command.

"I'll always love you, Rachel, before, during, and after this...you know that...right?" Raph asked softly and looked up at her, shifting until he was rubbing against her, lubricating himself with her slick wetness so it wouldn't hurt her as badly, and he sensed somehow that there was a major difference between her heaven and whatever he and Leonardo did.

"I know. I love you too…always." Rachel gasped softly. She felt him against her, rubbing her. She mewed in protest and in want, hoping that he would sometime soon bring himself inside her. She knew that he might get rough with her, hell she expected it. Still…still she wanted it so much. The pain, the pleasure, him…mostly him…

Raph tore off his bandana and threw it away, feeling just as naked as she was, but his pleasure was heightened by it and he probed her, shuddering and churring loudly, deeply, "Rae…" he licked and nipped at her neck up and then kissed her deeply, sliding himself inside her ever so hot and magnificent center.

She cried out, whimpering as he filled her to the brim. Her eyes slid closed as her chest went up and down and her whole body turned numb from the height of the flames he sent to her, with that one action. She opened her eyes and felt tears slip down her cheeks, it hurt yet…it felt too good. It wasn't at all discomforting either, like she had believed from what she read and seen. It was…like the pain heightened the pleasure. "Oh god…" She moaned softly. "Ra-pha-el…" She whispered every syllable with a purr and a growl. It wasn't a churr, but it came close.

Raph churred himself, low and deep, possessive in the background linked to what he was feeling from being inside her, but the tone was amused, "Well…with that sexy sound I would've mistook you for a turtle, too, my lovely babe," he nuzzled her neck, savoring everything about her while his mind was still absorbing the differences between this and what he thought he recalled doing with Leo, but when it concerned that everything blurred to the extreme, and it was totally dark…like whips of fog at night. He knew deep inside this first experience would become another wisp, but he also knew it would be the best.

Rachel groaned softly, wanting him to at least move. "Come in deeper." She invited him her voice was low and her voice practically hummed her seduction, "I'm ready for you."

"As you wish, Rae," Raphael murmured and gently retreated, but not even an inch out and he through his head back, letting out a pleasured yet agonized groan. So slick, blazingly warm, encasing him nearly perfectly…He could die right now and not know it. In fact, the only reason he knew he was still living was the fact he highly noted how her tight insides contracted around his pulsing member. He continued to pull until he only had the first inch in, and then he shoved inside her a bit faster. He let out a high churr and his vision blurred everything around him except her angelic face.

She gasped and arched herself, her hips moving along with his thrusts. She had a feeling she was begging him to go faster, wondering where Leo and everyone though he was rouge, when in reality he was quite the gentle lover. She wasn't sure if she said all of this aloud or if her thoughts were just screaming at her. The pleasure was good. No...it was better than good. But there weren't any words that could describe it. She whimpered and groaned as he sped up just a bit, barely yet nearly hitting that spot inside of her. When she shifted just a bit, and he thrust at the same time, she screamed. Rachel didn't know what he hit, but god it was beyond pleasurable.

Raph groaned as he felt his tip hit something, and as it jolted him he heard her scream. He watched her for a moment, to see if it was from pain, but when he saw the sexy smirk on her face he went right back to thrusting, making damn sure he hit that area inside her. He felt his body shake, and he gripped her hips, unconscious of the strength he was using, and he pounded faster, peeping as he attempted deeper as well as faster and harder, as she commanded him through the thoughts she spoke aloud.

Once, twice, three times, god if he kept that up she wouldn't have a choice but to cum. She gripped the bed cover hard, feeling it wrinkle under her grip as she cried out, moaned and encouraged Raphael with incoherent blabber. If he could make sense of it all, then good. If not then she prayed he wasn't thinking that she was swearing him out or something. The flames were getting taller and taller and she could almost see herself diving. She wanted to, god, but she held on biting her lip hard enough to bleed.

"Rae…oh Kami…" where she got pleasure from having that spot hit, he got pleasure from hitting it. Raph felt his tip graze it and his shaft pulsed violently, sending jolts of electricity through his blood to reach his head and toes before it bounced back as he speed up and lost all control. He vaguely sensed her constricting and tightening around him as she neared her end, and he purposely shifted to miss her sweet spot in order to make this last longer. He didn't want to forget it yet, and felt his chest pang with pain and a prickling feeling hit his eyes. He leaned his head down against her shoulder, his body getting away from him and he no longer thought of mercy and gentleness.

Rachel whimpered when he missed, but gasped when she felt him bite her shoulder. It wasn't one of those kind hicky kind of bites either, but hard nip. She couldn't say she didn't enjoy it, but she had a feeling that it was going to get rougher. So, this was what he meant. She brought her arms around his shoulders and whispered, "Let go," She said, "Don't hold back anymore."

Raphael held onto her hips tighter at her words, and he felt himself grow with permission to release everything. That's what he did, and felt something pop. She screamed and he jerked, hearing something other than pleasure, but didn't slow, only sped up. He grunted as he roughly shoved his everything inside her slick heat, nearly pulling out all the way this time before pounding back with as much force as possible. More electricity flooded his system, his blood boiled, and he swelled, pulsed, and filled her entirely. His mind stopped functioning and his body gained all control. He faded, started seeing things become wisps of nothing but pleasurable fog. "Rae…S-Sorry…" he groaned before his rational side blacked out.

One minute he was kind and gentle and now she understood exactly what Leo and everyone meant when they said Raph was rough. His grip bruised her, he thrust hard enough to probably make her bleed if she wasn't already and his churrs and growls, though sexy, also sounded like a lion enjoying its dinner. His kisses were no longer pleasurable and rough, but they left angry marks against her skin and made her lips swell from the force he landed on her. She whimpered and cried a few times as she felt him, but she told him that she could do this…she promised him that she didn't care. It was painful, but it was good to see the side he wanted to keep away from her.

He forced himself to break through for as long as possible to spare her from any more pain. Raph knew he could no longer last, and he nudged his body into finding that area inside her that would dull the pain away if only a little, "Rae…jump with me…" he rasped and he was quickly losing strength against his currently dominant side.

He had nudged her in the right direction. She whimpered when he slammed against her and she felt herself wanting to dive. When she hit again, she shrieked her climax, clinging on to him as she felt him come inside of her. It was a pleasurable feeling and it took away a lot of the pain that he had inflicted on her. She had a feeling that when they woke up in the morning or something, Raph would probably think she got hurt from a patrolling session...she hoped he would think that. "I love you still. Before, during, and after…" She promised him weakly.

"Sorry…so sorry…" Raph murmured weakly as he glanced down where they were connected and saw her blood mixed with their combined juices. He pulled out of her and hit his side, feeling like a ton of bricks, but not only from lack of energy. However, he was already swiftly forgetting what he was guilty about, "Love…you…" he churred softly and wrapped his arms around her carefully, resting his head on her shoulder.

She gripped his hand, knowing very well that she wouldn't be getting any sleep tonight. "Love you, too." She whispered softly as she felt him nuzzle her neck to sleep. She rested her eyes closed, wondering what tomorrow would bring.