Reason for Sorry

Brianna stretched, but winced as she sat up. She rubbed her abdomen which was sore beyond compare. However, when she stood she nearly toppled over because not only were her legs jellied; her pelvis was shooting with pain. She remembered yesterday's adventures and blushed furiously. Looking around she noticed Leonardo was nowhere within the room.

Frowning, Bria gingerly put on a pair of green sweat pants, going commando for extra comfort, and since she also felt a little sore up top and highly sensitive, she wore a sports bra and an extra large navy blue sweatshirt with a hoodie. She brushed her hair before stepping out and heading through the halls to the living room, where Rae was lounging on the couch, nibbling on bacon and eggs. She popped into the kitchen and smiled brightly as she saw Michelangelo cooking, "Yo, Mikesters!"

"Hey, Bria," Mikey said with a smile as he flipped something in the pan. "If you're looking for Leo, he's in the training room with Raph." He told her. Leo had been nothing but self-pity and Rae didn't want Raph to notice too much, besides wearing a long sleeved shirt and jeans in the middle of summer. She shoved them both in the training room and had laid down on the couch.

"I'll eat first, I'm soooo hungry," Bria grinned at him, "Plus, I love it when you cook. You're so good at it!" she praised and sat plopped down, but yelped softly and cringed, "Ah, ow…" she bit her lip, "Mm…I'll join Rae on the couch, the chairs are particularly uncomfortable today," she blushed.

"Sure, no problem," Mikey said with a smile as he fixed her a plate and handed it to her.

When Bria came up and paused, Rachel moved her legs painfully to the side and sat up right, nearly going right back down to the couch's arm. She wasn't feeling so hot. "Hey." Rachel greeted her sister with a smile, "Morning."

"Hi, Esu," Bria smiled, "I guess I wasn't the only one screaming last night," she poked her playfully, but then frowned when Rae jerked and gritted her teeth, "Gomen?"

"It's fine." Rachel said stiffly as she tried to relax. It was like lying down with a bad sunburn, it was too hard and it hurt bad. "No, but I'm sure that your screams were from pleasure. Leo sounds like a good lover to you." She wasn't being mean nor was she trying to sound harsh, but she had a feeling it came out that way. She sighed, "I'm sorry, I just hurt everywhere right now."

Bria blushed hotly, "He is. What about Raph?" she asked her sister a bit concerned, "Was it…harsh?" she bit her lip not knowing what else to say to ask it.

Rachel looked behind her shoulder, towards the dojo. When she was sure that neither turtle were going to come out, she lifted her shirt a bit to show a big bruise on her hip that went up to her side. "It was…pretty harsh." She admitted as she lowered her shirt down, "I don't want Raph to know, so I'm keeping quiet."

"Why? I'm sure he'd realize what he did and apologize," Bria said gently, and then pursed her lips, "Or does he already chant it like a mantra?"

Rachel looked at Bria and frowned, "Neither…" She told her slowly, "Bria…didn't Leo tell you?"

"He explained to me the heat season for turtles first thing," Bria blinked, "And told me about the churring, which I think, is adorable…" she perked, "Why?"

"…Did he tell you that no one remembers how they mated or who they mated?" Rachel asked slowly. "Raph won't realize what happened, and even if he sees the bruises, all he's going to think is that I went on patrol and got knocked around too much. I won't let him know these wounds are from him…and that's why Leo's been apologizing to you, Bria…he doesn't remember what he did and he knows how big of a burden that was."

Brianna paled and she nearly dropped her plate to the floor if the couch didn't catch it first. She quirked a shaking smile like she heard a bad joke that didn't quite click, "No way…Rae, seriously…that's…not funny," she swallowed thickly and felt her heart drop down to her already pain-filled stomach.

"If I was joking, would I really be hiding these bruises and my pain?" Rachel asked bitterly. "No one remembers it." She looked at Bria sadly and shook her head as she sunk back into the couch, letting a soft whimper escape her lips and tried not to let it show. "So, it's up to the girls to remember and to remind them."

Bria watched her sister and if it had been anyone else she would be screaming "You're lying!" to their faces. However, this was Rae, whom she trusted with her life, and she knew not to disbelieve her. She instead swallowed again, and picked up her plate and stood, "At least…someone told me…" she murmured gently, "Thanks…"

"Bria…Leo loves you a lot. In the heat of the moment, he probably forgot to tell you. It's another reason why he's apologizing I bet. Forgive him…okay?" Rachel said with a soft smile at the T.V screen.

"I already forgive him, sis, but…it doesn't help my heart," Bria sighed and went back to the kitchen, "Mikey…sorry, but…I lost my appetite suddenly…"

Mikey watched her for the longest time as he took the plate from her, "It's cool."

Bria smiled weakly at him and then turned around, sticking her hands in her hoodie pockets. What Rae told her hurt a lot, but obviously it was a matter no one could change. Even as she thought this, she paused before the training room doorway, not allowing herself to be seen yet. She wanted to cry, still…not because of Leo, but because the Fates played a cruel, cruel trick upon her.

Since she was 15, she had attempted to find a guy that could love her fully, entirely, and would have no qualms about fulfilling her desires, so long as they stayed with her through it all, loved her no matter what. Time and time again she gave her heart to someone, only to have them freeze and shatter it then freeze it again, burn it up and then toss away the charred remains, cut at her until she was bleeding raw, or simply rip it up and leave it in shreds on the ground. Time and time again she trusted…only to be failed and nothing ever went that far.

But now…Bria looked at the door frame. Now she'd entrusted her heart yet again, and he kept it locked in a protective safe close to his. However…the Fates allowed that bridge to be crossed, and he could never remember taking the second most important thing she had entrusted him with. Her last purity…

There were times beings shouted that life sucked, and others replied that's life…and as she thought of it and it was on the tip of her tongue, tears slipped down her cheeks. She wouldn't be able to say it without thinking of others who worse has happened to. Her story was not special, not worth singling out…so that made her hurt worse.

Bria stepped into the training room and looked around, spotting Raph and Leo in the corner, Leonardo shoving Raphael against the wall, lust evident in their eyes. She expected it, was waiting for it, honestly, since it was their mating season and they no doubt did in the past years, but right now, her heart jumped to her throat so it felt she was choking on it and she stumbled over the weapon's rack, getting snagged nearly everywhere.

Leo and Raph practically jumped apart and Leo looked quite surprised to see Bria lying on the floor. "Bria?" He questioned as he walked over towards her. Seeing the tear streaks, he had to wonder why she was crying. "What are you doing here?" He asked as he bent down to help her back up.

Bria looked up at him, wiping away the blood from catching her lip on one of the practice swords, "I…you…" she tried swallowing down the lump in her throat; "You didn't tell me…" she choked out and brushed at the tears. She felt ridiculous now, coming here when she should have just gone back to bed and cried there.

It took Leo a few seconds to understand what she was getting at and widen his eyes. He didn't tell her? Oh god, he had just pounced on her and didn't tell her the full story. He could hit himself, or worse. He swore softly under his breath. "I'm so sorry, Bria." He said with a sigh as he rubbed his forehead. "I should have told you, I was an idiot to just think later. I'm guessing Rae told you the whole thing?" Why did he have a sinking suspicion that Rae did this on purpose instead of letting Bria ask Leo so he could explain everything? He brushed that aside for now, it didn't matter.

"Y-Yeah…she did," Bria looked down at her knees, the sweat pants getting ripped by Raph's Sai, but her sweatshirt only had one rip on her arm, "I…know it can't be helped, and I'm not crying about that…" she sniffed softly and glanced at her hand which had the scar from when she cut it on that railing, "There's nothing to forgive…it's just…the Fates decided to pull this on me, I guess. I've told you some passed relationships and now you can't remember…taking it…It's cruel to both of us."

"You were a virgin," Leo said with a groan, "Oh god. I'm so sorry." He had a feeling that Raph already left the Training room so he could be alone with Bria. He was thankful that he didn't hover. He gently brought her into a gentle hug that she could easily get out of. "I can't begin to tell you how sorry and how bad I feel. I wish I could remember, but I can't. I wish I could tell you there was a next time, but it doesn't work like that. I can say that I love you and that I wish that I could remember it, but that's not at all comforting. There's not much to fix in this situation and I really am sorry I didn't tell you. That was a big mistake."

Bria curled up against him and buried her face in his chest, "Oh Lionheart…" she murmured, "I love you, too. We were both heated, wanting…I guess I didn't drop enough hints before, and you forgot to tell me. We're even, 'kay? I'm sorry, too…" she nuzzled him, noting the scab where she had nipped him too hard and she smiled softly, "I have my memory, and you got proof right here. I say we're good," she pulled away to look at him, "Please? You don't need to say sorry anymore," she caressed his cheek.

"Alright," Leo said softly. "I think we're good too." He gently nuzzled her neck as he pulled her in for another hug. "Thank you."

"Even if you don't remember, can you feel anything?" Bria wondered watching his hazel eyes, "Anything at all?"

"Yes." Leo said softly gently as he looked right back at her, knowing that she'd know he was telling the truth, "I feel…everything."

Bria grinned and kissed him gently, "Then that's all we need."

Raphael looked back at the training room sadly as he joined Rachel who was still lying on the couch, and he rested his folded arms on it, "I thought I asked you not to tell her? Or…were you trying to copy and forget?" he looked down at Rae.

Rachel looked up at him and then looked over at the Training Room. "It's hard you know." She said softly. "If I had let Bria think that Leo remembered, can you imagine the pain Leo would go through and I would go through when she finds out? I didn't have a choice. Besides, it's not your one to talk."

Raphael furrowed his brows, "I deserve that. After all I'm the one who…" he bit his lip, "Hurt you. I…get a feeling you were also a virgin?" he asked with a sigh, "Along with the fact I was brutal to you…clicking it together it explains why you're glued to the couch."

Rachel sighed as she tossed an arm over her eyes. "You didn't hurt me." She said to him. "And…yes I was also a virgin, but I much rather lose it in the heat of passion than at a bar, which actually came close to happening a lot more than I care to admit or count."

"I…believe that," Raph smiled ruefully at her though she didn't see it, "I did hurt you…badly," he reached down and on the arm she had over her eyes he ever so gently pulled it to reveal all the bruises. He also with his other hand slid down the sweats she obviously stole from Bria while she slept because they were short on her, and Rae just never wore sweats. After also moving the shirt up, he felt his chest tighten, "I'm sorry…You so deserve something…someone better than this."

"I told you before you even mounted on me that I wanted you. I practically begged you to get rough with me." Rachel said as she pushed her arm away from her eyes and winced as her skin stretched and her muscles tensed before relaxing again. "I admit, when I thought you meant rough, I thought something way different than I received, but it's good. I hadn't expected blood, but bruises were defiant…just not as many and how deep purple and yellow they are. They're practically black…"

Raph groaned and hit his head on the back of the couch before turning away from her and sliding along the back of the couch to the floor, "Blood…black bruises…" he slapped his hands over his face and whimpered, "Oh Rae…"

'And I just had to be stupid to say that…' Rachel thought as she got up with a soft whimper. She slowly stood up and walked over to him and hissed when she brought herself down. "Raph…don't…"

"Rachel, I'm not good for you like this. You deserve so much better, you didn't need your first time to be like that!" Raph looked at her, his brown eyes dark with guilt and sorrow, "I hurt you horribly! How can you even stand to be near me?" he felt his bandana get soaked with tears before they trailed down.

"How?" Rachel asked, remembering how the lust-filled Raph begged her to remind him, "Because I'm your mate. I'm your woman and I'll be damned if someone else takes that away." She told him as she reached out and grabbed his hand and brought her other one and rested it on his cheeks, gently wiping away his tears. "No, I didn't need my first time to be like that, but I wanted it. You did hurt me but you didn't do it intentionally. You were in heat it was undoubtedly bound to happen."

Raphael watched her uncertainly, and then after searching her chocolate eyes he finally smiled and ever so gently put his hands on her shoulders, and then he gently put her on his lap, letting her curl up like she undoubtedly needed to do to ease her soreness, "Oh Rae…" he nuzzled her hair, "Babe, you just keep making this turtle happier," he nibbled on her nose affectionately, "Though, I'll never forgive myself for doing this, no matter how much you convince me you wanted it. So, I am going to take care of you," he picked her up bridal-style, careful not to stretch anything, "Will you let me do that?"

"As long as it includes a hot bath, I'm all in for it." Rachel said with a soft sigh. "You'll forgive yourself, Raph. I know you." She smiled at him lightly and gently ran her finger down his beak. "I'm glad I'm making you happy, I don't like it when you're upset."

Raph chuckled and headed for the bathroom, "I guessed," he joked and kissed her lightly.