A/N: I am truly sorry for the long delay between chapters. I hope everyone's still with me. Thank you all for the reviews and encouragment. Hope you enjoy the chapter.

Chels, this chapter would not have been possible without you. Seriously, you're the best. :)

Disclaimer: Not mine. None of it. Well, except for the story, obviously.

Released

On his way home, Elliot checks his cell phone at every red-light. There are no missed calls. The realization that Olivia is not going to call him makes his bad mood deteriorate even more. By the time he pulls into his driveway, he's craving a stiff drink and a good fuck, neither of which he'll be getting tonight.

"You're home early," Kathy says when he walks in.

Elliot mumbles a greeting and trudges upstairs. He can't play the game tonight, can't pretend to play house with his wife. Not when his thoughts are with another woman.

Eli's door is cracked open and he sneaks inside, gently kisses his son's head and re-tucks the covers. He savors these moments now because, barring any unpleasant surprises, this is the last time he'll have a child small enough to tuck into bed. A part of him will miss these moments.

He goes into his bedroom, loosening his tie. Kathy appears and leans against the doorframe. She looks like she wants to talk.

"Not tonight Kath."

"What? Can't we have a simple conversation after you get home?"

Conversation isn't the word for it; what they do is argue every night, without fail. And it always starts out with his wife asking why he won't talk to her.

He tries to head her off. "Kath, I'm tired. Work was crazy."

"That's always your excuse."

Elliot doesn't respond. He unbuttons his shirt and slips out of it before pulling his t-shirt over his head. Then he removes his shoes, socks and pants. Flipping back the comforter, he settles himself into bed, trying to avoid a full out fight. He can feel Kathy glaring at him.

A few minutes later he feels Kathy get into the bed next to him. Her cool skin brushes against him and she lays a hand on his chest, testing to see if he's still awake.

"Elliot?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm. . .I just feel like I'm the only one trying to communicate here. You promised you'd try harder, but I don't see it."

"What do you want me to talk about? It's just work."

"Something's bothering you."

"Don't worry about it."

"If it's nothing important, why won't you tell me?"

He feigns sleep, making his chest rise and fall rhythmically and hoping his wife can't feel his heart racing from his sudden adrenaline rush beneath her hand.

She doesn't press him for a response. Instead her thumb gently rubs against his chest, back and forth. Elliot knows this won't lead to anything good.

Kathy whispers, "Don't you need me anymore? Don't you want me?"

He can hear the tears in her voice. Elliot aches for her because of all the pain he's caused her, because of all the pain he will cause her. She's really a wonderful woman, a good human being; he owes her more than he can give her.

Kathy starts to kiss his neck, shifting her body to lie half on him and half on the bed. She's slow, mechanical. The wetness from her cheeks transfers to his skin.

"Stop." His rumbling command makes her stop out of surprise more than anything else.

"Why?"

"Kathy, don't," he says when she starts kissing him again.

Elliot slowly pushes himself up to a sitting position, forcing Kathy to move away. Her eyes are wide with hurt and confusion.

"What's wrong?"

"I just can't tonight."

"Elliot, it's been almost two months."

It's been almost two months since he slept with his partner, since he cheated on his wife. It's been almost two months since he started lying to Kathy. He regrets that now. He should've told her everything.

"Elliot?" There's a note of annoyance in her voice.

"I just can't."

"Why not? Is something wrong with your penis?"

"My penis is just fine."

"Then what hell is wrong with you?"

They have perfected fighting in stage whispers. Her voice can't be heard through the walls, but Elliot knows she's screaming at him.

"Would you calm down?"

"I'll calm down when I know why my husband refuses to sleep with me."

There's no other answer to offer her other than the truth, brutal as it might be.

Elliot rubs his hands over his face and hair, locking his fingers behind his head. Then he drops them, takes a deep breath. It's hard to believe he's about to kill his marriage. But it's time for him to stop hesitating, to stop being a coward.

"I slept with Olivia."

The words hang in the air. Neither one of them moves or speaks for several moments. Then, Kathy rolls off of the bed and stomps out of the room, grabbing her robe on the way.

Elliot breathes; slow deep breaths. He counts to ten. Repeats the process. Then he follows her.

She's sitting on the couch. "Go away."

"Kathy, we need to talk about this," he says, coming closer to her.

"Leave me alone."

He stands by the fireplace, well out of slapping range. He watches as she twists her wedding ring in circles around her finger, then slides it on and off with ease. It's her silent threat, her way of reminding him that she can leave him at any moment. But usually the motion is subtle; now she pulls and twists the ring ruthlessly, making her skin visibly irritated.

"I know you won't believe me, but—''

"Don't you even say it."

"Kath, I'm so sorry."

Her wedding ring hits him square in the chest. It doesn't really hurt, but he knows she meant it to. He deserved that hit. He's just glad it was only her ring and not the TV remote that's sitting in front of her.

"I told you not to say it!" she shouts, barely keeping her volume in check.

"I should've told you before. It wasn't right for me to keep it from you."

"Well, maybe you should've."

"You'd want me to lie to you?"

"About this? Yes."

His wife wasn't making any sense. "Kath, I made a mistake, but we can get through this."

"How, Elliot? I won't be able to forgive you for this."

"You have to try."

"Why? So we can keep making each other miserable?"

"It'll get better."

"Elliot, you always say that, but it never happens. It's never going to."

The holiday season means a heavier case load. Work is a great distraction from his marital problems, but Elliot's yearly Christmas vacation comes up before he realizes what week it is.

"What are the Stablers doing this year for the holidays?" Olivia asks as she finishes a report.

"Well, Maureen's flying to Boston with her boyfriend and Kathleen's refusing to come home."

"Oh?"

"She says it's 'for the good of her mental health'."

A slight frown appears on her face. "Is everything okay at home?"

Elliot still hasn't told her that this will be his last Christmas living at home, that he's been spending his time looking for a cheap apartment while the divorce attorneys are cooking up the paperwork and dividing assets.

"Just normal holiday stress," he says. She doesn't look like she believes him. "And, I was thinking we'd nix the gift exchange this year, if you don't mind."

She smiles and rolls her eyes. "Thanks for the advanced notice."

"You didn't buy something already did you?"

"No. No, you know me. Last minute shopper."

Christmas is a disaster.

The tension between Elliot and Kathy spreads and infects the rest of the household.

Dickie won't talk to either one of his parents, but he only glares at his father. When he refuses to open his gifts, they are passed on to Eli—who finds tearing the wrapping paper more exciting than finding out what's inside.

Lizzie's more forgiving than her twin, but she's not taking the divorce well. As she hands her father his gift, she cries.

"I just wanted you to be able to see us whenever," she explains through her sniffles.

Tears come to Elliot's eyes as he flips through the binder-sized photo album. It strikes him just how many family photos he's not in. "I'll still see you all the time, honey."

Dickie mumbles something about "false promises," but Elliot's too busy hugging his daughter to take the comment to heart.

Elliot thinks this might just be the worst Christmas they've ever had and wonders if he and Kathy should've waited until after Christmas to announce the divorce. He doesn't know what possessed them to ruin the holiday for their children.

On the first of the year, Elliot moves into his new apartment.

He's almost single. Almost happy.

Almost.

A/N: I'd love to hear what you thought on this chapter. It was a real struggle to write. :)