A husky Brawler with reddish hair and a small beard that covered his mouth, but not his cheeks save for the curly tufts that looked like small swirly whiskers, wore a purple denim vest with the arms deliberately ripped off, flaunting his well toned muscles, came to the forefront of the large group that poured out from under the bridge, his footsteps thudding with a suspicious clank. His Left eye enveloped by a Triforce tattoo, as if to intimidate and suggest his authority. "Y'all're gonna leave early today. The van's gone, and y'know what? Lookit! A lot more of us than you!" He looked around as if he was talking to himself, inspecting his own words. "This is our turf and you're gonna leave. Find some place else to eat." Across the street where the line had formed, more brawlers entered as backups stood in for them, replacing the line. Goron Link looked down at the ninja, as if to follow his lead.
The apparent leader scoffed, interrupting Goron Link's train of thought, "You know, you can go, we wont hit you. Just leave." Goron Link looked to his apparent ally with uncertainty. 'Ninja Zelda'. Sheik, was motionless, statue like. So he grumbled, then laughed "Hha!" looking him in the eye "You want to hit me?" The brawler didn't seem to care about the implications and only spoke, "That's two, last chance. The M says y'get three. You're lucky: The M doesn't give anyone more than one chance." Goron Link really laughed now. His belly rumbled the ground beneath him, rocking the ninja beside him. "That's great, no worries then! We're good!" The brawler stepped aside and his buddies parted together, forming a path between them, out of the park, under the bridge.
"Oh, what? No, you see, we're not going anywhere. This is our park, you're obviously not in charge, and this, right now, makes four. Your move, buddy! What'cha gonna do?" The 'do' thundered into him, literally knocking his balance back. The three brawlers he fell into caught and righted him, then ran around him and attacked. The crowd of 21 brawlers poured out from under the bridge and swarmed Goron Link and Sheik - who darted into a triangle jump, up and over their heads, and stomped across the heads of several brawlers; out of the crowd, looking in. (S)he gracefully landed and taunted them. Two fingers beckoning. Goron Link was surrounded, 21 to one, as additional 'backups' ran in from the line across the street to address his ninja partner.
He swung a mighty fist, knocking one into three and knocking those four into five more, proving that his one Goron punch was the equivalent of nine brawlers - meanwhile getting climbed upon from behind, by six more! "Oh yeah?" He laughed thunderously. "Let's roll!"
The vigilant Goron lurched forward, preparing to fend them off. He was feeling his health-treat wearing off, so instead of reaching around and grabbing them, he suddenly rolled up with instantaneous speed, whipping 4 of the brawlers off his neck and shoulders and using that speed to roll ahead suddenly, very fast, plowing over one grippy Brawler, and launching the other high ahead and into the air. He curved around, skidding and spinning out, throwing dirt and grass out behind him, then caught traction and rolled through, again, into the remaining six, who immediately scattered. He only nicked one in the leg and knocked him over, probably breaking it, as everyone scrambled to dodge. Goron Link immediately unraveled himself with precision and stood defiantly on the man's leg, in the middle of the park. "Leaving so soon? The food hasn't even arrived yet!" he said, lifting his leg up to allow the fearful brawler's instincts to scurry him away like a tiny broken mouse.
Sheik had been rushed from both sides by sixteen brawlers by the time Goron Link had begun rolling after his 9 man punch. Zelda couldn't concentrate, as she prematurely revealed another weapon: She whipped her elastic chain around, tagging a Brawler behind her and cutting through his back, before snapping it downward, ahead, and stunning another one facing her off, by slamming his shoulder on the recoil. Three more brawlers darted into the middle of the fight, three others drew slingshots from afar. Sheik spun downward, in place, kicking two of the dashers, the third hesitating just in time to dodge, accidentally. A rock pegged her thigh, and she fell out of her strike. Another rock pegged the ground right in front of her knee, and she scrambled ahead, dodging additional projectiles, as four more Brawlers brought out more slingshots. She was not focused. She was not yet truly Sheik, Zelda silently and briefly scolded herself, darting over to Goron Link for cover.
Goron Link rolled up to deflect the rock shots and laughed when he realized they were stone "I can eat these!" Opening his mouth wide and snatching a few - half tucked into himself, half untucked, awkwardly balancing himself on a large forearm. Several brawlers switched to exploding bombflower seeds and others tried to flank him and get his ally from behind. Several explosive shots annoyed him enough that he fully curled up around the ninja to protect them both from the shots. They were pinned down.
The blue van's brakes squealed softly as it parked behind him. Goron Link's face involuntarily widened with a smile. He heard the door open and shut, waited for the next door, but instead heard nothing, footsteps following the unexpected emptiness.
He turned to inspect the feed, and saw Impa approaching him with something large in her hands. His eyes widened a little as he saw the gray and lumpy object, closer and more detailed, pocked with tiny specks of crystal, possibly... "Stone Turnip?" he uttered, barely audible, then cleared his throat "Is that a Stone Turnip?!" He inadvertently shouted with excitement. "Did you bring me a Stone Turnip?" Impa nodded, trying not to smile but failing to hide it, and held the lump of stone out to Goron Link. He grabbed it jealously, and inspected it closely. His smile thundered as he laughed and gnashed at the stone. He gobbled it all down and patted his belly with a huge - DRUMB - that echoed across the street! A brawler recoiled as if struck, impressed. His neighbors turned to his shock with scorn, as if scolding..
Impa nodded to the Goron and returned to the van. She watched the line across the street for a moment, then turned to look toward the other side of the bridge. Seeing a much larger group slowly approaching from deeper within downtown, Impa turned over the ignition and drove away quickly. She was worried that even the friendly Goron would get hurt today and while she didn't want to risk hurting the children, she saw no choice: In order to rescue Zelda from the gangs, Link had to face a real challenge now. She could only hope Link to be as adept as she and Zelda suspect.
Impa drove over the speed limit the whole 16 blocks back, running at least 2 red lights as she came within the last 5 blocks. The illusion was weakening, her powers waning... The Wolfos brothers stepped out of the forestry shadows, soupy and hazy, mixing in with the modern neighborhood illusion, creating a psychedelic optical illusion of solid smoke walls and floating airy water. Impa halted the car and waited. The two shadowy Wolfos spirits glared at Impa. No movement, they all just stared at each other. Glowing pairs of eyes, meeting the steel gaze. Finally, the Wolfos retreated into the shadows and, the smoke and water faded, leaving a clear, crisp, satisfactorily realistic-looking modern-neighborhood illusion.
Impa jumped out of the van and ran to the house. Her youthful agility betraying her elderly visage; white hair, liver spots, wrinkles, curved back, and all, jolting and hurtling across the street at a long angle. She skipped the front door and crashed through the back, prompting a napping boy to full alert.
Down the basement stairs, and straight into the dojo in a flash; Link was barely out of his room, startled, and now frantically looking for the sword he broke, as proof he could. Impa saw his panic and hesitated, briefly worried about him. "Get a sturdy sword and shield, boy." She said, folding her arms.
*Perspective Shift*
Link clambered through the closet and grabbed the sword and shield. While he did, Impa retreated to the foot of the stairs. When Link emerged she beckoned, then quickly ascended and vacated through the back door, Waiting again, arms folded. Link followed, and once out of the house, he noticed the skies were forest canopy with shady slats of light pouring between Deku branches, while betraying the environment of residential homes and streets. He stopped, gazing at the sky, but Impa urged him along "We must get downtown immediately, the park is being attacked. Your friends need your help!" She said with haste, cringing silently as she said "friends", thinking she possibly gave away Zelda's identity.
Link's thoughts were gone, his eyes became narrowed and focused, his spirit surged. He would protect his friends; he nodded, as he entered the van with solemn intent. Impa looked over at him, curious. His demeanor had instantly changed. She couldn't even see an iota of the former caution and panic he displayed in the basement. What had changed? She wondered.
Impa turned the final corner with the bridges in view, the park just south of there, out of view. ticking and hollow echos could be heard, from the distant weak power of bombflower seeds. Impa pulled beside the bridge intersection but didn't park, several exploding shots could be heard popping near by. "Your shield will break! Be careful, Link!" She called out after him as he ran from the van, along the highway ramp, around toward the first bridge. Another pop and a louder bang, small explosions were crackling and popping, a few seemed bigger and let cry with a loud BANG!
Link rolled aside quickly, that one was right by his foot! "That's a warning shot, kid! Private party." Link didnt bother listening to more, he saw the purple sweatshirt with a slingshot aimed at him, and dashed full speed. That wasnt expected, and the Brawler fumbled for his next shot, dropping it. It exploded under foot as he loaded a seed and drew the sling back. Link had cleared more than half the 4 yard gap by the time he'd fumbled for the reload. When he fired his successful shot he was already knocked out as Link had already bashed the hilt of his wooden sword into the punk's solar plexus as he missed firing - over Link's shoulder. Another loud bang, and he startled back.
As Link stepped from under the overpass, up the curving pedestrian path, he exposed himself to 3 more Brawler guards positioned along the path and bridge. Link barely jumped back in time to dodge the next shot fired. Had he not startled, it would have hurt. The next two Brawlers up the path came charging. One of them fired a seed near Link, the other was unarmed and barreled forward, arm cocked.
Link raised his shield and blocked the first punch, skidding back with the impact. He jumped to his left, right into the line of fire, and saw a slingshot drawn on him. He panicked and crouched, bracing his shield over himself.
A heavy BRAMKRAKLE as the seed smashed into his shield, exploding; bringing it within threshold of shattering. The wood cracked and splintered in several directions, making a web or tiny crags in the wood. It smoked and singed, but remained barely intact. He bolted around the heavy fisted Brawler and charged the slingshot with his sword. Dashing as fast as possible, he slashed at the Brawlers hand, breaking his grip and possibly a finger or two. "Aaaieouch!" He dropped the broken slingshot and his arm with broken hand and looked menacingly at Link, tears in his eyes, other hand balled in a fist. Link quickly struck again with his hilt, and knocked the brawler behind him out, as the tearful Brawler ran past him, leaving the fight.
Rather than follow the trail of Brawlers up the path, Link dashed across the street and under the overpass on the other side. Shots were fired at him from behind as he cleared the gap between highway bridges, where Brawlers armed with slingshots were lining the path! He used up his energy to give one last speedy dash ahead and under the safety of the next bridge, out of sight. He was running out of breath but not quite winded.
Link dashed around the corner, out from under the concrete-and-rebar bridge, finally catching sight of Brawlers launching explosive shots from slings into a... large boulder...? Link's adrenaline rush deflated and his arms sagged a little. He huffed and tried to catch his breath. Bowing his head in confusion, a small surge of adrenaline hit and he looked up, searching for the friendly patrol!
"Hold your fire! That Goron isn't even phased..." A tiny surge, the adrenaline wasn't gone yet; flickering. "Come on out! We said we'll let you leave, you know, but you had to stick around. Why'd ya have to stick around? You shouldn't have done that." Adrenals flared again, however: Link stood poised but seemingly motionless. He inhaled slowly, evenly, eyes narrowed, cross.
"Tell ya what, Goron. We just want you. You can let your friend out. We all promise not to shoot the ninja." He said, looking around and winking. "Isn't that right guys?" a couple laughed, a couple cheered, but the tattooed brawler with red hair ignored them and continued "All you gotta do... is stand up... and let us take you... back to the river with us!" This time it was Goron Link who got the rush, and he whispered to his partner "Hold on tight, this is going to get cramped." He lifted his head back and peeked out briefly. The brawlers were all aimed on him, and there was a good chance they'd all shoot if he took that liar for his word! That was enough to enrage him, he tucked his head back in, extended a leg behind him, kicked off and tucked it back in. He was rolling again, carrying precious cargo.
"WHAT!? Get them!" The Brawler called out. Link had seen enough and charged in. "Yaaaaaaah!" He ran in, rushing with his sword in front of him, prepared to stab, but foolishly alerting his opponent, giving up the element of surprise. The target muttered "What's this?" as that husky brawler turned to face Link. He sloppily shifted his weight aside to barely dodge Link's rushing stab, but effortlessly never the less. Link toppled over himself and skidded on his stomach to a halt.
Goron Link had rolled around and halted beside Link, while Link brushed himself off. As he unrolled, Sheik tumbled out, unconscious. "He'll be find, kid. Just too dizzy to handle a Goron roll! Ha, HAH!" Goron Link laughed with pride, following with "Let's flatten these hoodlums!" Link nodded deliberately.
The Brawler "in charge" was panicked and his mind raced for a moment. "Wait, wait! Wait, wait wait-wait..! Obviously... we cant take you on with our slingshots and bombflowerseeds... maybe we cant even take you on by climbing all over you." Goron Link rolled his eyes and huffed, "But...!" The brawler continued, "I challenge you to an honorable fight. One on one." Goron Link laughed, "Did I roll over your head by accident or something? You should leave now before you get hurt."
The Brawler was adamant and indignant "If you can beat me, we'll take off. Leave. Not another word, gone. You wont have to fight all of us, just me. Think about it. One one one." Link shook his head, but Goron Link considered it their best bet, barely noticing Link's advice. "Deal. You fight me in a traditional Goron Wrestling match. We'll use the sand box for an arena. Last man standing or still in the sand box, ring, wins."
The Brawler agreed to his terms and smiled, sly and wicked. He bent over and checked his shoes a moment before entering the "ring". "What's the matter? Scared you'll trip over your shoe laces?" Goron Link taunted, scratching one leg with the gnarly toenails of the other foot. The Brawler just maintained his wicked grin. He stared at Goron Link as he entered the ring, locked eyes as he took his position. They stood face to face, prepared to engage. Goron Link raised a foot and stomped the ground, knocking the Brawler off his balance, but not down. The Brawler copied his opponent and stomped with a heavy *CLANK*.
Zelda stirred and grabbed her head nauseously. Link watched the match with focus and hidden excitement. Zelda's perspective was low, but unlike everyone else, she had a direct perspective of their feet. Goron Link's stone-rough, wild, unkempt, and lumpy feet looked like mallets, but the boots his opponent wore were encased with thick iron plates! Goron Link stepped forward with a stomp and grappled with his opponent.
The advantage was sorely in the cheating Brawler's favor but not because the Brawler wore boots of iron, as Goron Link was not only malnourished, underfed, and underweight; he was also inexperienced in traditional Goron Wrestling! Goron Link grappled futilely as the Brawler consistently broke his holds and stepped away from his attempts. In a circle left, two fails. In a circle right, three fails. Left or right? "What's the matter? Am I too Goron for you to handle?" The Brawler laughed, along with his buddies. Goron Link's eyes flared open and he made another grapple attempt, this time tucking into an immediate roll, flattening the brawler outright, burying him in his own body's depth-worth into the sand.
The blow not only knocked the Brawler over, but it knocked him out of his boots! Goron Link started to laugh, raising his hands together in a clasp to cheer, but from the corner of his eye noticed a giant figure approaching the park from the intersection, and he was following two trident wielding Moblins. Goron Link - more or less instinctively - tucked up and rolled under the bridge as fast as he could. Zelda sat up and looked around. Link approached the boots, but felt a tug on his wrist. He turned to see the ninja staring in his eyes. He backed up, drawing his sword, but saw the Moblins and a giant Cyclops; and backed into the fallen Brawler, tripping into another, who shouted "Moblins!" And everyone ran except Link and the dazed Brawler in the ground. Zelda dashed away in the confusion, around to the van, and changed as fast as she could, once inside.
Link was stunned, the gigantic monsters approaching him left him nearly paralyzed, his wooden sword and shield: as though mere toys, not worth the effort to so much as block a strike... he felt pathetic and worthless. They thundered closer, a pair of 7 foot tall stacks of fatty muscle and gristly sweat carried huge 3 pronged staves and ugly frowns, leading a gargantuan one eyed, vacant looking, hulking, half naked, 9 foot tall monster. Zelda ran to the edge of the park and called out "Link!" He snapped out of it! He scrambled to his feet, leaving the wooden toys behind, and ran over to Zelda as fast as he could, but as soon as he got close, he slowed and looked back.
The Brawler was barely able to sit up and realize what was going on, looked around, confused. The ground vibrating with each heavy thudding step of the cyclops. "Where'd everyone go?" He asked out loud, sitting up from his shallow indent. Chrthud. He rubbed his head, turning to the nightmarish visage of 3 of Ganon's loyal monsters bearing down on him. Chrthud. His eyes widened as he screamed out with terror "Ooh... NOOOOO! PLEASE! NOOO! DONT HURT ME!" As the giant reached down and grabbed the pair of boots, and the Moblins pushed forward, toward the south. The giant followed them shortly after, none of them bothering to even acknowledge anyone that didn't get in their way, let alone the traumatized Purple Brawler cowering in tears on his knees.
Zelda tugged urgently on Link's hand, and he left with her and Impa.
Chapter IX: Unreal Adventure
Wait, what? now we finally get an adventure, but it's still unreal?
I'm getting sick of this 'unreal' and 'misadventure' stuff. you know, I've read ahead, and i can tell you:
The Forest Temple is a lie! Its a trick! A trap! We wont get to see it in a long time ( }:| ) But it's honestly totally worth it.
When Impa was within half a block of the neighborhood, she pulled to the side and parked the car in front of a commercial building. Her illusion was wearing off and there was nothing left she could do. "Zelda, Link." She initiated solemnly. "I am indebted to brothers whom have lent me their home for the past 13 years to nurture, raise, guide, train, and prepare the young princess. There are workings in this world that are directly affecting your lives which you've never known or been prepared to know. You can no longer afford not to know, but you are not ready to learn right away, so to prepare you, I must reveal the first lie..." Zelda recoiled, "Lie? wait... What do you mean, first?"
Impa sighed heavily "I am much too old to be the last of the Sheikah... My domain of the shadow has been the only source of my own life... but during times of darkness, in the world of light, I have had to compromise my own domain, over and over, until now... Only a fraction of the Lost Woods remains connected to the Shadow Realm... ... everything else, I have had to... ... ... share... with Ganon's minions. For I alone am no match for them, but there remains much yet for me to leave to this world before I can be free to leave it." Zelda gasped, and wanted to move in to console her attendant, instructor, teacher, and long time friend, but Impa stepped out of the van, beckoning.
"Young miss, I must ask that you refrain from indulging in sorrow or fear, for these brothers, whom I've owed our home and school, have a habit of getting excited when they think someone is scared. I assure you, my friends are good and loyal, and will mean you no harm." Impa explained while Link and Zelda left the van after her. "Although Link, your training in the sword is insufficient, and I must oversee your improvements post haste. When we walk to the house, you will notice the illusions are gone, and the neighborhood was, in fact, fake. The important thing that you children are to be understood:" Impa became very solemn and serious, "This section of the lost woods was once connected with underground catacombs which lead throughout the royal townships of Hyrule castle market and Kakariko village, and was a lost nation of Wolfos tribes' burial grounds. The wayward spirits of the Wolfos live on as shadows of their former selves, seeking solace in their descendants, whom are disappearing at an alarming rate. Their numbers have shrunk from once proud tribal nations to just a few hundred individuals left in the world. Two brothers had roamed into the lost woods many years ago and took up residence here with me. We've helped each other out for the longest time until..." Impa stopped abruptly, and eyed Link. "Until the Second Lie... but all in due time, children." she trailed off nonchalantly, and rounded the corner, into a large haphazard block of forest, right in the middle of Hyruletropolis.
"No, you cant stop there!" Zelda persisted as they approached a log cabin with eerie similarity to Saria's and Krystal's home... "You've brought out that much, you have to tell us the rest." She said, adamantly. Impa ignored her and stopped some thirteen yards from the house. "I am sorry, Princess, but as I said, all in due time." she said, talking at her, rather than to her, still focused straight ahead of herself.
Zelda closed her eyes "So that's it, "Princess" Zelda, huh..?" and a tear started to fall, oblivious to the world as the world, but Zelda, was to it, as she wiped it away, silently. "I don't like it," she said, calmly, but trailed off. Link had followed behind the group and moved forward to Zelda's side, between her and Impa, wanting to see what Impa was focusing on. Zelda cautiously touched her fingers to his, and he took her hand.