Day 49: Barbarossa Rotbart: The SVU has a betting pool for the date on which Liv and Alex admit that they are in love. Problem is that they aren't (yet).

Universe: Season 5

(A/N: I didn't really stick to the second part of the prompt, but I hope you like it just as much!)

…

September 16, 2003

Smirking, Alex sinks into the seat beside Elliot's desk. She slides a $100 bill and a folded-up piece of paper across his desk. "I heard about the pool you started," she says, "and I want in."

Elliot feels his cheeks go red. He stares down at his desk, avoiding eye contact at all costs. "You weren't supposed to know about that."

"Your neighbors," Alex says, tilting her head in the direction of Munch and Fin, "talk too much. Olivia doesn't know…yet. Let me in and she never has to find out."

Elliot nods. "Okay," he says, opening the top drawer of his desk and slipping the paper and the money into an envelope at the back. "Make sure she doesn't find out, Alex."

Alex stands, smirk still firmly in place, and runs her hands over her skirt. "Relax," she says, "I have a lot riding on this too."

Elliot spins his chair around as Alex strides out of the bullpen. "That's exactly why I think you'd cheat," he calls after her.

…

…

September 29, 2003

Alex technically dies twice during the five-minute drive to the hospital. The EMTs are able to bring her back both times, but by the time they arrive at the hospital and rush Alex through the Emergency Room and into the Operating Room, Olivia can't ignore the sinking feeling in her stomach any longer.

There's a waiting area just outside of the doors leading back to the operating rooms. Olivia sinks down into the one closest to the door and resigns herself to waiting for news.

She doesn't think about how she must look to people passing by – the way she's staring blankly at the floor, blood caking her clothes and hands and hair, smeared across her face. She doesn't think about the way she almost jumps out of her chair every time she hears the doors open. Barely even registers the arrival of Alex's mother and half of the Special Victims Unit. She just sits and stares and waits.

Hours later, the doors open and Olivia knows before the doctor even speaks that Alex didn't make it. She catches pieces of what he says – how the bullet punctured an artery, how they tried to repair it, how Alex bled out on the table – but most of it doesn't register.

Cragen pulls her aside as everyone starts to leave, tells her to stay home for the next few days, but they both know Olivia won't listen to him. They both know that wallowing in her grief is the last thing she wants to be doing. He gives her shoulder a squeeze and tells Elliot to drive her home.

They don't speak during the drive to Olivia's apartment. Elliot makes a few half-hearted attempts and Olivia really is grateful but everything is just too raw right now. There's still dried blood caked to her and all she can focus on is how good a shower is going to feel.

She bags up her clothes as soon as she gets home, knowing they're going into evidence tomorrow morning. The shower isn't as good as Olivia imagined – the water runs red for so long that she begins to think maybe she was the one shot, and she has to lather, rinse, and repeat four times before the blood is out of her hair. And all she can think about is the pool of red under Alex's body and all of the missed opportunities and how if she could just go rewind time she would kiss Alex the minute she knew she wanted to, so that if this was the fate they were destined to they would get at least a year to be happy.

She shuts the water off long after it has already started to run cold and struggles into clean clothes before stumbling into her bedroom and crashing on her bed.

For the first time in years, she doesn't dream.

…

…

October 1, 2003

The Feds and Elliot turn around to face away from Alex and Olivia like they're trying to give them some semblance of privacy. It's almost comical, really.

Alex reaches out, tangles her fingers with Olivia's, and smiles softly. "I told them I wouldn't leave without letting you know I'm still alive. I know it's dangerous, but I love you and I figured that it would be worth the risk. I figured we could both use a little bit of hope right now."

"How long?"

Alex shrugs, bites her bottom lip, looks past Olivia. "At least until it's safe again. They already moved my mother. They took her right after the surgeon told her I died."

Olivia nods, looking down at the ground. "I'm sorry I couldn't keep you both safe."

"You did what you could, Liv. I just wouldn't drop it."

One of the agents turns around and signals to Alex that it's time for them to move. Alex nods and leans forward to press a kiss to Olivia's cheek. "Maybe, in another life, we would've had more time."

Olivia nods, gives Alex's hand a light squeeze. "Don't forget about us while you're out there."

"Forget about you?" Alex says, letting out a little laugh. "Never. I love you too much."

Olivia smiles sadly. "I love you too."

The Feds usher Alex back into the truck and pull away without preamble. Olivia watches them drive away until the taillights fade away.

Back at the precinct, Elliot pulls the envelope out of his desk drawer and drops it on his desk. "We had a bet going," he says. "We were all trying to guess the date you two would finally admit that you love each other, but I guess it's pointless now. Might as well return the money."

Olivia sighs, continues working on the paperwork she's filling out. After a while, she drops her pen and looks up at Elliot. "What'd you bet on?"

Elliot rubs his hand over the back of his head, grinning sheepishly. "Christmas," he says. "Of last year."

Olivia laughs quietly, shaking her head. "Sorry you lost."

Elliot shrugs. "Me too."

"What'd Alex think?"

Elliot opens the envelope and pulls Alex's slip of paper out of it. Unfolding it, her frowns and hands it across his desk to Olivia.

October 1 is scrawled across the paper in Alex's chicken scratch.