Disclaimer: The characters of "Supernatural" were created by Eric Kripke and are owned by the CW Network. No profit is being made.

Note to Readers: Okay, no spoilers for season 6 not beyond the ones already alluded to in previous chapters based on what is currently leaking out. I'm just building on the AU I have set up and will most likely change in many ways once Season 6 gets underway. I'm not sure how long this story will be but I will try to update every weekend unless time permits earlier posts.

Thank you for the reviews and PM's you've sent me. Plus, again I want to thank everyone that has taken the time to give me such a warm welcome back into fanfic after taking a year off. Thanks! Happy Reading, I hope.

Our Solemn Hour

By Dawn Nyberg

Chapter 3: Wayward

"…When sorrows come, they come not single spies, but in battalions …" ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet

May 2nd, Stull Cemetery, Outside Lawrence, Kansas

Dean kneeled in the early afternoon light as a cool breeze blew by and ruffled his slightly longer hair. He hasn't kept up with the strict military cut and allowed just a little more length but it was still very much the Dean Winchester look. He knew the spot, how could he forget where his brother fell into the hole with Michael … Adam … Dean shook his head for a moment. His hand bunched in the dried grass, "Sammy," his voice sounded broken. "I …" he started and stopped. His hand caressed the ground in an almost reverent manner and he stood. "I wanted to come sooner," he started again his voice getting stronger but still anguished. "I, uh, kept my promise you know … I went to Lisa and Ben. Things are okay, I guess, but …" he wiped at the errant tear that rolled down his cheek. He rubbed it roughly having not even realized he was allowing the luxury of tears.

"But, it's going through the motions Sammy. Hell, what do I know about the apple pie life," Dean looked up and out over the cemetery and then settled his eyes back on the spot he considered his brother's grave … he couldn't bring himself to think the phrase, 'final resting place' there was no rest where he was, no peace, no solace. "I'm trying though Sammy, for you…" Dean offered quietly. "I just don't know if I can do this, ya know?" He fisted his hands and released them in frustration. "I want you back Sammy this ain't right. You should be here."

Dean kept his eyes down and on the spot he remembered with the same agony he felt when he'd first kneeled at it when the hole had opened swallowed his little brother, well both his little brothers and closed locking Lucifer back in his cage now along with Michael. But, as much as he felt bad that Adam took the proverbial bullet for him, it was Sam he missed … Sam he had raised, cared for … family was family and Dean would have died for either of his brothers if push had come to shove but his bond was with the brother he knew, had known … Sam was his responsibility, quite simply Sammy was his and had been since that fateful night in November when he ran out of the house with him.

"Happy Birthday sort of seems stupid considering where you are … what you did to save us all. You did it Sammy, you got control when no one else would have been able to. I'm proud of you," he choked. "Dammit!" he shouted. "I want to be mad at your stupid ass, I do," he lamented with anger. "But, I can't … you saved the world Sammy. You said 'you let him out … you had to put him back in …" Dean rubbed at his face again. "You didn't let him out on you own Sam, I helped with the first seal. If it hadn't been for me getting the ball rolling …" he stopped and took a breath. He smiled softly a moment, "Yeah, yeah," he muttered.

"You'd say it wasn't my fault and all that crap and to let it go … you were always a pain in my ass little brother," he laughed, a wet sounded laugh that held tears in it. "I had to come today Sammy, I needed you to know that I didn't forget what today was and maybe you know I'm here and whatever you're going through you know you're not alone, you're never alone Sammy … I'm here and no matter where I am I'll always be there for you … I'll always remember …"

Sam stood beside an old grave marker and watched his brother and listened to his words. He had parked outside the cemetery and walked in not wanting to alert Dean. His eyes had welled long ago knowing his brother well enough to know the pain he was feeling and despite the silent tears he had wiped angrily away were still being tightly reigned in. His brother's words, 'I'm here' he knew theses words he also remembered what followed them, 'I'm not leaving you …' and Sam remembered the taking back control and seeing his broken brother in body and spirit. He stepped forward and took a calming breath.

"Dean?" his voice was tentative. His big brother spun around at his single word and stared at him wide-eyed. Sam remained where he stood wanting to let his brother assimilate what was happening.

"Sam?" Dean's voice shook. "No, this …"

"I'm here Dean," Sam offered with a light smile. "It's really me … just me … nothing piggy backing me." Sam offered a dimpled smile and Dean stared at his little brother feeling his body tremble. "It's okay Dean," Sam spoke quietly. "It's going to be okay," and that was it, Dean flashed back and remembered his brother's final words and reality clicked into place.

"Sammy," he choked and walked forward pulling his brother into a hug and he held on tightly, squeezing him close. Sam hugged back just as intensely. Dean was the first to release and was thankful for that and he took one step back not caring about personal space as he maintained his closeness to his brother. He looked at Sam and saw the tears cascading down his sibling's face. "How? When?" his mind was throwing words out without processing what he was saying. He quickly flipped into big brother mode, "You okay? You hurt?" he looked around the cemetery quickly. "I gotta get you somewhere safe," he was grabbing Sam's arm … his bare arm and something struck him. Sam wasn't wearing what he had when he went in the pit. He was wearing a black V-neck t-shirt and blue jeans. Sam had a little five o'clock shadow and his hair was a little longer. Sam seemed to understand what was dawning on his brother albeit slowly.

"Dean, I'm okay. Look, we need to talk. I'm safe all right. We gotta talk."

Dean released his brother's arm and Sam nodded. "My cars outside the gate to the cemetery, you wanna follow me?"

"Your car?" Dean looked incredulous.

"Well, crusty Jeep to be exact. We're going to Tonganoxie, okay?" he studied his brother and hoped this wasn't too much for him to work through. Dean nodded absently and as Sam took a step toward walking away.

"Wait!" Dean barked. "Where you going?"

"I'm walking to the front gate to get the Jeep, Dean," Sam quirked an eyebrow at his brother, 'hadn't they just had this conversation' he thought.

"The Impala's right … here get your ass in it," Dean commanded. Sam chuckled and suddenly Dean didn't care what they had to talk about … this was his little brother and it didn't matter in this moment how he got out of hell, he was out and that was all that mattered and he strode forward and grabbed his brother and pulled him close once again. "You're really here, right?" he choked as he felt Sam's arms come up and envelope him back with the same fierce love. "I'm not going crazy, you're here?"

"I'm here Dean" Sam assured. "I'm here," and Sam crumbled, his strong façade no longer able to maintain and he cried into Dean's shoulder blade. "I missed you Dean," he choked softly. Now, this was something Dean knew how to deal with, a little brother that needed his big brother and God how good it felt and he held Sam close.

"Missed you too, kiddo. I got ya Sammy, I got ya," he assured and they stood there for long moments.

A short drive later, Tonganoxie, Sam's Place

They pulled up to the old farmhouse off the road and Dean slid out of the Impala as his brother turned off his Jeep. Sam turned and looked at his big brother.

"Sam, what is this place?" Dean glanced around.

"I live here … the rent is cheap," Sam motioned for him to follow him as he approached the porch steps. Dean stopped as his mind fought to process what was happening. It was all too much; too fast … it couldn't be real, could it?

"Rent? How long you been here?" Dean's tone changed and Sam knew it too well, his brother was edging toward pissed and Sam guessed he sort of deserved it.

"Come inside," Sam said easily his voice easy going. Dean stood stock still his face becoming defiant as puzzle pieces slid into place for him.

"Answer the question Sam," Dean's voice hard. "How long have you been here?"

"Six months here," Sam offered tentatively. Dean studied his brother with intense eyes.

"You went in the hole nine months ago Sam … what about the other three?" Sam blew out a breath, damn his brother even blind sided still was pretty quick and didn't miss a beat. "You tellin' me you get out of the pit and what? Come straight here, it doesn't make sense." Dean stalked forward, his eyes angry, but Sam could see beyond the anger, his brother was concerned about him.

"No, not straight here," Sam offered lightly. "Come on inside Dean, we can talk. I'll tell you everything."

"No, you'll tell me now … where were you for the three months before coming here." Sam dropped heavily down onto the porch steps and looked at Dean, his eyes soft and welling with tears, he was afraid of his brother's rejection, of making Dean feel betrayed when he said what needed said. "Where Sam?"

"Cicero … I was in Cicero," Sam replied quietly his gaze never leaving his brother's.

To Be Continued