It had taken Sirius a long time but he had finally found Harry. He had remembered that Lily had a
Muggle sister who would be Harry's only living relative. The sister, he remembered, had long since fallen out with Lily because she couldn't accept that Lily was a witch. He hoped that the sister would have been able to put aside her prejudices for Harry's sake, but he didn't think it likely. Sirius had gone through the Muggle records looking for Lily Evans and found Petunia Dursley nee Evans. He was feeling enormously pleased with himself and glad that the endless search for one boy in a million he had envisioned was so much easier and shorter than he had thought.
… mass murder Sirius Black has escaped from a high security prison. The public is warned that Black is armed and highly dangerous and should not be approached under any circumstances. A special hotline has been set up, and any sighting of Black should be reported immediately. The Government has assured the public that the situation is under control ...
Harry Potter's life had just gotten much better – he had made a friend, a big black dog with wild yellow eyes that was the size of a bear. The dog was loyal only to him, and it understood everything he said. When it was around Dudley and his gang didn't dare go near him, which gave him a new and exciting freedom, he had roamed further and explored more than he had ever done before. Of course, when Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon had found out about the dog they had forbidden him to go near it, but for the first time he could remember he wasn't afraid of breaking one of the Dursley's many rules. He would see his friend whether they liked it or not. There would be consequences he knew, his adventures with the dog led to more spells in the cupboard. but Harry found that that those long absences only made him long for the dog's companionship more.
Harry tried to give the dog a name, he couldn't go around just calling it 'Dog' after all, but it didn't seem to like any of the names he tried. He had started with 'Rover' but the dog had seemed almost disdainful when he had suggested it so he decided against normal dog names. 'Blackie' didn't go down well either, nor did 'Big' or 'Furry'. When, however, he suggested 'Bigfoot' as a joke the dog seemed a little happier and held out it's paw, as if it was trying to tell him something, but then Aunt Petunia called him in to do the cleaning and he didn't get the message. Later that night, however, he found a note in his cupboard which said, in a jerky handwriting he didn't recognise, 'Padfoot'. Harry thought that was a good name for the dog and decided to try it out next time he saw it. He had a curious idea that the dog had written it, although that was absurd, that would be like, and Harry grinned to himself in his silent rebellion, because that would be like magic.
The dog was, as always, waiting for him as he left the house. He stood in front of it and said "Padfoot?" the dog immediately jumped up, wagging it's tail and so the dog was called Padfoot. Harry's belief that Padfoot had written the note grew in his mind, after all, why else would a note with the word Padfoot written on it appear in his cupboard? A word that just happened to be the perfect name for his dog. Harry determinedly ignored the fact that it was impossible for a dog to even hold a pen, let alone write a word and continued in his silent rebellion in the Dursley's dogma of all things normal and sensible.
Sirius found it hard to contain his anger at the way the Dursleys treated Harry, but he forced himself to remain calm and plan ahead. Not the things that came naturally to him, but Sirius knew this was too important to mess up with his normal rash, impulsive actions. Harry was in no immediate danger that he could tell; the Dursleys didn't abuse Harry as such, just deliberately neglected him, deliberately kept him downtrodden. Harry had a undernourished look which was exacerbated by the oversized, second hand clothes he wore. Sirius often brought Harry food which he had stolen from the local shop, and, after a little hesitation, Harry gladly accepted and hungrily wolfed down. Harry always had a look of desperate loneliness, which, Sirius was pleased to note, had lifted somewhat since he had come along. For now he would befriend Harry as a dog, although he longed for the day when he could befriend him as a man.
Although he had to admit to being somewhat biased, Sirius thought that Harry was a fascinating and charming boy. He was no longer his little Harry, the delicate trusting baby, but a street smart young boy, who was used to roaming alone and defending himself against those bigger and stronger than he was. He also had that hint of mischeif and rebellion in his eyes that meant that, although he was forced to comply with the Dursley totalitarian regime. Sirius liked to imagine him as a Marauder in the making.
It was interesting to Sirius that Harry accepted the idea of an overly intelligent dog so easily. Perhaps he was just used to strange things happening around him, although he did not know about magic, or maybe, Sirius thought darkly, he was just so desperate for a friend that he didn't care. Probably a mixture of the two.
Even though he had promised to befriend and protect Harry, Sirius was desperate to see what his old
friends were up to. He visited Remus first, being sure to keep out of sight of course, in case Remus recognised him. It pained him to admit it, but Remus believed him to be a murdering traitor and wouldn't hesitate to lock him up again. He could not count on Remus' help or support as he could when they were young, not until his innocence had been proven, then they could be friends again and the Marauders might live once more.
Sometimes Remus felt so old. It was not a feeling he unfamiliar with, he had had to mature very quickly due to his condition and often felt older than those around him. He knew the strain it had put him under had led to premature ageing and he had recently found the first flecks of grey in his hair. It didn't bother him, he had never been vain. What had got to him this time was the recent escape of Sirius Black from Azkaban. It had brought back memories that he thought he had long since buried. The feelings of despair and betrayal had all come flooding back. Sirius had played his part so well, none of them could have suspected the truth, not even James. The questions that he had so often asked and that could never be answered floated once more into his mind. When had he turned? Was he planning Harry's death as he had been named godfather to the boy? He had rebelled from his family's ideals so early on, when had he turned back to them? Remus' only comfort was that wherever Dumbledore had put Harry, Harry was safe from the man who had sworn to protect him at all costs. He didn't know where Harry had been taken, Dumbledore wanted as few people as possible to know, for Harry's own safety and Remus had wholeheartedly agreed with Dumbledore, even though he had hoped he might be able to visit Harry, as he had used too. He fondly remembered the small, beautiful boy who had brought a light to all their eyes which were too often lined with worry. Also, he thought grimly, a feeling he was far too used to.
In addition to going old and trapped in the past Remus had decided he was going mad. He had seen, or had thought he had seen, a bear like dog that looked, if a bit ragged, exactly like Sirius had looked when he transformed. The dog had stared at him with huge, doleful yellow eyes, exactly the way Sirius had looked when he had done something he knew that Remus wouldn't approve of. It had enthusiastically ran towards Remus before halting, as if it had realised that it shouldn't be there, and then, with the panicked look of a hunted dog, it had disappeared into the trees. Remus shook his head. It was merely his imagination that had imprinted characteristics he knew so well on some stray. Wishful thinking perhaps. He so desperately wanted to see the Sirius he knew but Sirius, the Sirius he didn't know, the mass murderer, would have never have visited him, would have never had the inclination to visit his old friend or to expect help from him. That Sirius, if he had run across him, would have, if he had realised he had been recognised, silenced him as swiftly and as brutally as he did that street full of people so long ago. Peter,thought Remus, poor Peter, who always so desperately wanted to prove himself as brave and as skilled as James, himself and, he felt the bitterness coursing through his veins, Sirius. How Peter had idolized James and Sirius, they all had, even when he sometimes disapproved of their actions. He was once again swamped with memories of a happier time and Remus sighed. It was going to be a long night.
Padfoot had been gone a few days, and Harry sadly submitted to the extra bullying he received from Dudley, to make up for that time he had missed whilst Padfoot had been around. He endured Aunt Petunia's smug remarks about mangy strays. He stayed silent when Uncle Vernon punished him for something he was sure wasn't his fault, although this wasn't his old silence of his silent rebellion, but the silence of defeat. He should have known better than to think his new friend would stick around for very long, they all went away in the end. Padfoot had probably found someone new and exiting to play with, who had proper dog toys and who wasn't a freak with no friends.
Padfoot, however, did come back in the end, although he seemed sad and just flopped beside Harry instead of playing with him like he usually did. Harry, glad of his return, his silent rebellion back on track, consented to idly scratching behind Padfoot's ears as they sat on the pavement together, each lost in their own thoughts. Padfoot's angry and sad, Harry's triumphant and happy that his friend had not abandoned him after all.
It had been stupid to go and see Remus. Sirius had completely forgotten that he was meant to be in hiding and almost gone up to Remus, worst of all, Remus had seen him. Would Remus recognise him after all these years? Sirius wouldn't have been surprised if he had, in fact, he was sure of he had. Sirius hadn't visited anyone else after that, it was safer to stay here, where no one would look for him, where he couldn't make any stupid mistakes.
He had been so desperate though, so desperate to regain his old friend, to run with Moony once more, to be young and innocent. To not feel the gnawing of pain in his stomach every day and night. He wanted his innocence to be recognised, not by the Ministry, although that, of course, would be nice, but by the people who mattered, by his friends. Sirius had felt so keenly that if only he could talk to Remus he could persuade him that he lost all sense and been seen. It was his own fault though, he had not trusted Remus when it had mattered, had thought Remus was the spy when in fact it was the rat. Had not told him the vital information about the switch. It was, therefore, his own fault this had all happened. He had made the mistake, had trusted the wrong person, had got James killed. How could he look after James' son when he was responsible for his father's death? Sirius gave himself a mental slap. That was Azkaban talk. Besides, Harry needed him just as much as he needed Harry. He could tell that Harry had been miserable while he had been gone and that Dudley had taken advantage of his absence. Sirius resolved never to leave Harry again.