Cate called to check on Lux again as soon as she got home from the mall.

"There's no change," the nurse reported. "Ms. Cassidy, we'll call you if there's a change."

"Thanks," Cate said softly as she hung up the phone.

Laverne came downstairs to refill her glass of wine. "Hi. How was school?"

Cate rolled her eyes. "It's nine o'clock."

Laverne stared at her daughter as she poured another glass of wine. She was already drunk. She couldn't hold the wine bottle properly and kept spilling on the kitchen counter.

"I've been out of school for six hours," Cate pointed out. She took the bottle from Laverne and topped the glass off before cleaning the counter.

Laverne took a sip of wine and sighed. She noticed all of the shopping bags on the kitchen table. "Did you go shopping?"

"No, I just asked the store if I could have some bags for decoration," Cate said sarcastically.

She knew she was being rude, but she'd had a bad day and just couldn't deal with her drunk mother.

Laverne sifted through the bags and frowned. "What is this? Why are you buying baby clothes?"

"For Lux," Cate replied softly.

Laverne's frown deepened. "Cate, you can't waste all your money on a baby that you gave up."

Cate crossed her arms in front of her chest defiantly. "It's my money. I can spend it on whatever I want."

"What about college?" Laverne asked.

"What about college?" Cate asked, exasperated. "How can I save my money for my future when my daughter might not even have a future? I'm not that selfish. I can't be that selfish."

"She's not your daughter. You gave her up. She'll be adopted by a family who can actually take care of her and they'll buy her things," Laverne said.

"She is my daughter! Signing a piece of paper doesn't change that. She was inside of me for nine months. We were connected by an umbilical cord! That connection doesn't just go away," Cate said angrily.

"I know this is hard, but you're doing the right thing. You can't take care of a child," Laverne said gently.

"How can it be the right thing when my daughter is fighting for her life and no one is there for her? Not one person is there for her! She has nothing, Mom! She's been wearing hospital issue clothes because she doesn't have any other clothes!" Cate said.

The pained expression on Cate's face didn't escape Laverne even though she was drunk. She hugged Cate.

Cate wrinkled her nose. She could smell alcohol on her mother's breath.

Cate hesitated. "Mom, I want her."

"What?" Laverne asked.

"Lux. I want her," Cate said firmly.

"You already gave her up," Laverne pointed out, rubbing Cate's back soothingly.

"Actually I didn't. The Social Services office forgot to have me sign a form. I'm still legally Lux's mother," Cate explained.

Laverne frowned. "You need to sign the form."

Cate glared at her mother. "Are you listening to me? I don't want to sign the form. I want my daughter!"

"You haven't thought this through," Laverne said.

"Yeah, I have," Cate said defiantly.

"Your daughter has a heart condition. She needs constant medical attention. Not to mention surgery," Laverne reminded Cate.

"Don't you think I know that?" Cate retorted.

"Do you know how much that will cost?" Laverne asked.

Cate's face fell. Laverne was right. She hadn't thought about the medical bills.

"I wish I could help you, but we can't afford it," Laverne said softly.

Cate nodded. "I understand," she whispered.

"This is darling." Laverne held up a pink and white baby jumper.

Cate knew Laverne was trying to make peace. Cate smiled slightly. "Lux will look so sweet in it."

"Just don't let yourself get too attached," Laverne warned, noting the expression on Cate's face when she talked about Lux.

"It's too late for that," Cate muttered.

"You can visit her now while she's in the hospital, but what about once she's released? When she's better? Her adoptive parents won't want her birth mother visiting," Laverne said reproachfully.

"She could be in the hospital for years," Cate said.

"All I'm saying is that the more attached you get, the harder it will be when you can't be in her life anymore. Remember Bella?" Laverne tried again.

Bella was their old dog. They'd only had her for a week. When they took her to the vet for shots, the doctor had told them Bella had cancer and recommended that they put her down. Cate had been eight at the time and hadn't wanted to put the dog down.

Cate sighed. "You cannot seriously be comparing my daughter with a cocker spaniel?"

"If you got that attached to a dog in one week, how attached do you think you'll be to Lux after a year or more? Do you really think you'll be able to give her up?" Laverne said.

"I don't know! I just, I can't do this right now," Cate said. She went up to her room and shut the door.

As much as Cate hated to admit it, Laverne had a point. They couldn't afford to pay Lux's medical bills.

Cate couldn't stand the idea of Lux going through surgery after surgery alone. But she also knew she was already too attached. Cate bit her lip.

She would just have to suck it up, Cate decided. It would be hard on her when Lux was adopted and Cate couldn't see her anymore. But in the meantime, Lux deserved to have someone who was there for her.

Cate set her alarm for 6:00 am. That would give her enough time to visit Lux before school started.

When Cate got to Lux's basinet, it was empty.

Cate looked for someone, anyone, but she was the only person in the pediatric wing. Damn it!

Was Lux OK, Cate wondered desperately.

Cate's heart was beating rapidly. She felt hot all over. Something was wrong. Something had to be wrong. Why else would they move Lux?

"Ms. Cassidy?"

Cate looked up. It was the same nurse from yesterday.

"Where's Lux? Is she OK?" Cate demanded.

"Lux is fine. Another nurse took her to be examined," the nurse said.

Cate breathed a sigh of relief. "Sorry. I overreacted. I know. I just, I saw that she was gone and…"

Cate couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence. She'd thought Lux was dead.

"It's OK," the nurse said gently.

Cate nodded. "How's Lux?"

"There's Alex with Lux now." The nurse nodded at another nurse who was carrying Lux. "You can see for yourself."

"Thanks," Cate said.

"Alex? I'm Cate. Cassidy. Lux's mom. How's she doing?" Cate said, her eyes fixed on Lux.

Alex smiled. "Hi. She's doing well. She slept through the night. Her vitals are strong."

Cate smiled down at her daughter. "I, uh, I brought her some clothes." Cate handed the shopping bags to Alex.

Alex examined the outfits, smiling. "These are so cute! I'll change Lux now."

Cate watched as Alex changed Lux into a little plaid jumper. Cate broke into a huge grin when she saw Lux dressed.

"That's better, isn't it?" Alex cooed to Lux.

Lux giggled.

Cate couldn't take her eyes off her daughter. She was mesmerized by Lux.

"Lux hasn't been eating. Do you want to try breast feeding? Maybe she'll do better with that than the bottle," Alex suggested.

"Really?" Cate's eyes widened. "OK."

"Wash your hands and change into this." Alex handed Cate the ugly plastic thing.

Cate scrubbed her hands carefully and changed before returning to the nursery.

Alex led Cate to a rocking chair and set Lux gently in Cate's lap.

Cate looked up at Alex, confusion furrowing her brow. "I, uh, I don't know what to do," she admitted sheepishly.

Alex smiled kindly and showed Cate.

"Will it hurt?" Cate asked.

"No. It might feel a little weird, though," Alex replied.

It did feel weird, but it also felt wonderful to finally hold her daughter. Cate never wanted to let go.

"Alex?" Cate said.

"Mmm-hmm?" Alex said.

"Uh, how much does all of this cost? You know, Lux staying here? The surgery?" Cate asked.

"Don't worry. The state's paying for it," Alex said.

"Just out of curiosity," Cate said.

Alex thought for a moment. "It will depend on how long Lux stays here and how many surgeries she ends up needing."

"Give me a ballpark figure," Cate pressed.

"A minimum of $30,000," Alex said.

Cate's jaw dropped. She stared at Alex in shock.

"Don't worry. Like I said, the state is paying for it," Alex reassured Cate.

Cate swallowed.

Alex frowned. "What's wrong?"

"I, uh, gave Lux up for adoption. But Fern said there was a possibility of me changing my mind. I want her," Cate began. She broke off, fighting back tears.

Once Cate regained her composure, she continued, "I want her so bad it hurts. But there's no way I can afford that."