Thanks again for all your responses. I'm starting to feel quite overwhelmed. Here's some sweets for you:
Interlude III
Starscream stared at the two Seekers sitting on the berth opposite his. They'd taken an end each, keeping their distance, but still Starscream felt as if they were presenting a united front against him. After all, Skywarp had invited Thundercracker to sit on his berth in the first place, and hadn't bothered with asking Starscream.
They were going to be his trine.
It hadn't really started to sink in yet, with the orn having been so busy. His captain had called him away from weapons training to do some flying exercises with two Seekers from another sector, letting each of them lead in turn. He then had decided that they were to be a trine, and, oh, that Starscream was supposed to be leader.
They'd been too surprised to protest. The captain had ordered them to go pack and move here and to get their bonding over with.
Only by sheer willpower Starscream hadn't locked himself into their new, private washracks. He didn't want to be here.
After a few more breems of silence Thundercracker said, "I think they expect us to sparkshare." He sounded as unhappy as Starscream felt.
"I don't want to," Starscream said. He was alleged leader, it had to count for something, at least.
"Good," Skywarp confessed. "It's not that I find you two ugly, but I don't make a habit of sharing a berth with people I don't know."
Huh. Starscream watched as Thundercracker gave Skywarp an odd look.
Skywarp blinked. "You two haven't even done it before, have you." He seemed horrified.
Thundercracker offered an embarrassed smile.
Starscream hunched over and looked at the floor. He didn't want to see their faces anymore.
"It's no reason to be ashamed," Skywarp said. "About not having experience. Or about the opposite. Even if you were a total mechwhore, it wouldn't be reason to feel ashamed."
"I don't want to talk about it," Starscream whispered.
In hindsight, it had been as good as a confession, because Thundercracker made a small, worried sound and came over to draw him into a hug. Skywarp followed a moment later, after catching on.
For some odd reason, Starscream didn't feel like struggling, so he just let them comfort him. Let himself be rocked and didn't protest at the nonsensical promises that they'd protect him.
xxx
Starscream sidled back into their quarters rather late at night, after getting caught up in some text about exobiology in the library.
Both TC's and Warp's berths were empty. Starscream frowned. While Skywarp sometimes sought company for extracurricular activities, TC didn't. Unless they were out together.
No. Skywarp had made it pretty clear he considered the trine as not eligible, because they were twenty, or, in Starscream's case, twenty-five, vorns younger than he was. Warp steadfastly refused to acknowledge that TC was growing up and wasn't the baby he'd been eight vorns ago.
Starscream was rather content to remain their kid brother, but Warp's obliviousness was grating on TC.
Sighing, Starscream opened a comm. line and hailed his blue wingmate.
The answer took a long time, and it sounded testy. "What?"
"Where the frag are you?"
Another half a breem passed. "In the washracks."
"Our washracks?" Starscream stared at the door in question.
"Where else."
"Why?"
There was no reply this time.
Starscream took the few steps and knocked. "Can I come in?" he asked aloud.
"No."
So Starscream leaned his back against the door. "It's about Warp, isn't it. You're in love with him."
"I- yes."
"He's totally unaware. He's so used to playing protector. I think he has a hard time letting go of that role."
After a breem of silence, the door to the washracks slid open and deprived Starscream of his backrest. TC stared at him. "You don't think it's because he doesn't love me?"
"No. I think he's not seeing you in that way yet. I don't know if he even realizes you have that kind of cravings."
"No?"
"No." To buy some time, Starscream dusted himself off. "It doesn't help you don't react to anyone's flirting."
"But I don't want to flirt with just anyone. I want him."
Starscream sighed. "Look. Flirting doesn't mean anything. Not when there's no official courting involved. Consider it practice. Also, it will make Skywarp realize you've grown up."
TC tilted his head. "When did you get so wise?"
"It did take me several decacycles to figure it out." Starscream drew TC into a hug. "But the headaches were for a good cause."
xxx
Starscream jogged along the hallway hugging the letter close. (With a handwritten signature! On actual paper!) Outside his trine's quarters, he hacked the code into the lock and bounced on his toes as he waited for the door to open.
"Guess what!" he crowed as he finally slipped inside.
TC and Warp, sitting on Skywarp's berth and watching something on Warp's new portable console, blinked at him.
"Um," Warp finally ventured. "No. You're dying to tell us, so spill."
Starscream plopped down next to him, threw an arm around his shoulder and waved the letter in Warp's face with his free hand. "I got the scholarship! I'm going to Iacon!"
"Really?" TC leaned forward so he could look past Warp. "They're letting you go?"
"Yes! I skipped the tactics lecture and got all the datawork done and I'll be leaving in ten decacycles."
Skywarp drummed his fingers on his thigh. "I don't like it."
Starscream sagged.
"Aww. Kid. Don't be like that." Remorse crawled over the trine link.
"We're just worried," TC offered. "Iacon, that's… it's on the other side of the planet. And they're supposedly pretty biased against Seekers."
"They took me on. Besides, I plan to un-bias them."
Skywarp chuckled. "Not full of yourself, are you."
Starscream pouted. "Why don't you admit you never even thought I'd get a scholarship in the first place?"
Skywarp melted somewhat and let his worry filter through. "We promised to protect you, is all. How are we supposed to do that when you're half a planet away?"
"Maybe I don't want protecting anymore," Starscream snapped.
They shrank back. TC went so far as to lay a hand on Skywarp's knee, as if he needed comfort.
Starscream shook his head. "I'm sorry. I just- I need to do this. There's no future for me here."
"There's always a chance they won't skip us at promotions anymore, some orn," Skywarp said.
"I'm not talking about fragging promotions! I know I'm good at being a soldier, but I- it's not what I want to be."
Their confusion came through clearly, as always when he tried to give name to the longings he felt. More than once, Starscream had suspected Vector Sigma had messed up when sparking him, because while mechs here frequently complained about their living conditions, they never questioned their role as soldiers.
"What do you want to be?" TC asked.
"I'm not sure," Starscream admitted. "But I want to see what they're not showing us. I… I don't think I can decide as long as I don't have an idea of what really is out there."
TC sighed. "I just wish we could come with you."
"So do I," Starscream said. "So… does that mean you'll let me go?"
"We wouldn't have made you stay," Skywarp said. "You're maybe the only Seeker who's living up to the title."
xxx
In his dark prison, he sometimes could feel TC and Skywarp, but not often. Megatron never said anything, but Starscream had a suspicion his trine had been sent off to another base. Megatron would have assumed they were in on the deception he still suspected.
Starscream shut them out. He didn't want them to witness the humiliation.
xxx
"You're insane!" Skywarp shouted. "I know there's some idiots who don't like you, but most of us want you here."
"Inside jobs tend to be more effective," Starscream said.
"I'm not protesting the need for a fragging inside job. But there's other mechs for that, and you slagging well don't have to bond for it."
Starscream looked away. Yes, he did.
"It's utter nonsense. We're willing to move there with you, no problem. We can keep an optic on you."
Starscream rested his chin on his drawn up knees. Why did they have to make such a big deal of this? It was his life.
"You don't trust us to keep you safe," TC concluded from his corner. He'd retreated there to give Skywarp room to pace, and hadn't said anything on the matter yet.
"You'd trust a complete stranger over us?" Skywarp stopped his pacing to stare at Starscream. "I didn't realize you were this messed up."
Starscream shuttered his optics. "Get out," he said, trying to keep his voice even.
Skywarp spluttered, but didn't move.
"You're really not very helpful right now, Warp," TC said. "Show me the mech who wouldn't be messed up after this. Besides, there were at least a dozen mechs who knew what was going on, and only three of us have something that might be an excuse. I understand perfectly well why he wants out of this place. I can even get behind the reasoning for the other thing."
Starscream onlined his optics again to give TC a grateful look.
"I didn't say it was healthy reasoning, Screamer." TC came walking over to squat in front of Starscream. "Can you promise one thing?"
"Hmm."
"Leave yourself an out. Some kind of small print that allows you to bow out of the agreement if he isn't what you think he is."
Starscream considered the option. "I'll talk to Shockwave about it."
TC didn't look satisfied. "You realize we do this because we're worried, do you? It's not because we enjoy grating on your circuits or because we want to run your life for you. We see how you're refusing to open the bond on your end, we watch you being jumpy and afraid of shadows. You're not alright, no matter what you tell us, and we think throwing yourself at someone in this condition won't help you as much as you believe it will."
Primus. But how to explain this feeling, like he was flying over an endless sea of acid, running low on fuel. "I need a safe place to land before I can even think about healing."
"I see. I'm very sorry we can't be that safe place for you. Will you let us hold you for a while anyway?"
They'd never asked for permission before his captivity, they'd just done it. But now he was eternally grateful to whomever had given them that advice. "Alright," he agreed.