The Definition of Love
After new moon. When Alice makes a terrible mistake, how will it affect the Cullens? And more importantly how will it affect Bella? Told from Bella's POV.
Don't own anything.
Thanks to Imagination Genius, yellowsmurf6, Kyraaah1992, Melanie-Kisaragi, grangergirl22, gooby, zoelol, Hyper-Hayls-13, soyunax, Xishmish, Avarenda, xXxZellyxXx and 1WiththeButterfly for the reviews.
So abou the sex part, i know it was kinda of sudden and not really explained, it will be at some point. And about describing it, well i had it written but i didnt know how far i could go with it without changing the rating so i decided to just cut it out. i just kept the last part, the one they come, because someone needed to get bitten. but when i read it again i thought something was missing too, so does anyone has any idea on how i feel in the blank without having to actually describe the sex?
Another thing, sorry for taking so long to update, but i had to get out of the city last week, it was kinda of an emergency and there was no internet where i was. Seriously, no internet. worst part is that i have chapter 5 written and i couldnt post the 3th because there was no internet. oh yes, i had until the 5th chapther written, but now i'm pretty much changing them according to what you like, so do tell me what you wanna read.
I'm glad that you liked the last chapter, hope you like this one too.
Chapter 3 - My New Life
And just after the moment of most pleasure of my entire life, came the pain. Unbearable. Agonizing. Excruciating. Pain.
It seemed that an eternity later I opened my eyes and, for a moment, the absence of pain was all I could comprehend. I looked up, at the ceiling, trying to understand where I was, trying to grasp what had happened to me.
The first thing I noticed was that everything was unbelievably clear. How could I see things so defined, so detailed? I could see, hear and smell literally everything. It was like I had seen and felt everything trough a veil before this moment, and for the first time I felt truly alive.
Next I realized that I was not alone. I got up and crouched at the farthest corner in less than a second, hissing at the enemy. Or enemies, as I know noticed. There were seven figures staring at me. Beautiful figures, but a treat none the less. And I was more than prepared to attack.
There was a man in the middle, blond, calm and he started to come forward flanked by two others. They were both strong, one was also blond and the other had black hair. They all stopped as I growled.
"Bella." The middle man said from his position. He was talking to me, and it took me a moment before I remembered that Bella was my name. "It's me, Carlisle."
The name was somewhat familiar, but I wasn't exactly sure where to place it. I also realized that his face was not unknown, nor were the other's behind him. Noticing my gaze, the man that introduced himself as Carlisle continued.
"And this is my family." He said pointing behind him. "You know them, Bella. This is Jasper and Emmett behind me. And there is Alice, Esme, Rosalie and Edward. We will not harm you."
I knew those people. I knew them. They were like a family to me; I remember already saying it someday. And slowly, I was filled with images of my time with them. With this in mind I straightened myself up, mumbling a sorry that I was sure they had all heard loud and clear. I didn't understand why I had acted like that, I was ready to attack them. Weird.
Finally, I noticed that I was wearing a dress and that I didn't really like it.
"I chose it, Bella." Alice said, taking a few steps in my direction. She was stopped by Jasper "I had to find something for you to wear; your clothes were completely torn." The pixie explained apologetic.
I tried to remember why that was, what had happened to my clothes. And slowly those images came to mind. Me. Alice. Against a tree. I felt a surge of lust within me, like nothing I had ever felt before. I stared at Alice and I saw my emotions reflected in her eyes.
Jasper came forward, blocking my line of view and I wondered if he knew what had happened. He had obviously picked up on the tension in the room, but did he know? Had Alice told him? Did the others know?
I looked at Edward, but he refused to look back at me. It seemed as he was set on looking right over my shoulder. He seemed more pained now, if that was possible. His jaw was set. He was unquestionably tense, probably angry.
One look at him and I knew that he knew. I could see it in his face, and it upset me to know that I had hurt him. He had done nothing wrong, it was all my fault. I wanted to tell him that, ask for forgiveness, but for some reason the words would not leave my mouth. My betrayal was killing him, and I loathed myself for it.
I hung my head in shame and sorrow. Carlisle must have picked up on it, because he decided to intervene.
"Bella, I am sure that there are a lot that needs to be discussed, but I believe that there are more pressing matters to attend to at the moment."
"What matters?" I asked, and I was amazed at how my voice had changed. It was like music now, so beautiful.
"Well, aren't you thirsty?" Carlisle inquired.
Thirsty? Why would I be thirsty? And even if I was, I'm sure this could not be more important than what I had done. Unless he meant this burning inside my throat. I hadn't been paying much attention to it, but now that he had mentioned it was starting to bother me. Really bother me, and the more I thought about it, worse it became.
That's when I finally understood it. Besides mine and Alice's indiscretion, if you could call it that, something else had happened that day. I had died, in a way. I was no longer human. Alice had turned me; she had turned me into a vampire.
I'm not sure how should I feel about this, but right now, I guess I'm just too overwhelmed to think about it. I could ignore it and wait to consider what that actually meant until there were not 7 vampires staring at me.
"Yes. I think so." I knew how the others lost their mind when the bloodlust took over and I didn't want that to happen to me. I liked being in control of myself.
"Then we better take you out to hunt, first. Any other matter can wait until later." The oldest of the family affirmed.
We went downstairs and I wondered what had happened. The living room was a mess, there was broken glass, tables and there were even some holes in the wall. It was like a hurricane had passed through it. But I didn't question it, I had other things on my mind, like what would happen to me now, how and where would I live.
I followed Carlisle as he took me to the woods and taught me how to hunt. Animals, of course. The rest of the family was close by, making sure that there would be no accidents. And by accidents I mean they were making sure I wouldn't kill any humans.
It bothered me a bit that I had killed an animal, and that the others had watched me do it. Some part of me wanted to attack them, afraid that they would steal my food, but I managed to keep that part at bay. I guess I would have to get used to all of it now.
On the way back, I had already grown used to the speed of which we ran across the woods. I adored the feeling of the wind in my face, I was free. It was like I was flying.
As soon as we reached the house, I noticed Esme become distressed. And I'm sure the only reason that she was not crying was because she couldn't. She hugged Edward and whispered.
"Don't go."
He made no sign that he had heard it. Obviously he did, seeing as I had heard it too, but he chose to ignore it. He then hugged Carlisle, Rosalie and Emmett. Edward didn't even spare a glace to Alice and Jasper's direction. I don't know how Alice had done it, if Jasper had forgiven her somehow, but it seemed as if they were still a couple.
Edward was going to ignore me too, but I stopped him before he could get far. I know that I didn't have the right to demand anything, but it hurt that he would dismiss me like that.
"What is going on, Edward?" I asked, holding onto his arm. He pulled back as if it burned him.
"I can't stay here anymore. I'm sorry, but I just can't." He answered, his voice was strained, and his face was contorted in pain. "I only waited this long because I wanted to make sure you were alright. But this is too much. Goodbye, Bella." Edward never once looked at me while he explained. I didn't really blame him.
I got the feeling that he never expected to see me again, and I hoped he was wrong, because even if I had already admitted to myself that I was not in love with him, I still cared about him. A lot. He was a big part of my life and I enjoyed hanging out with him. Talking and laughing. I knew I would miss him.
"Come on, Bella. Let's get inside." Carlisle urged me, and I realized I had not moved from my spot ever since Edward left. And that had been quite sometime ago.
Entering the house, I came face to face again to the mess that was inside. I looked at Emmett and he answered my questions.
"After what happened, well, Edward kinda lost it. Alice is still alive only because Carlisle intervened."
I felt again the shame and sorrow for what I had done. It seemed that now I had the eternity to be haunted by it.
The others were waiting for me in a circle. They were all standing, seeing as the furniture had not survived Edward's attack. Good thing vampires did not feel the need to sit down.
"Bella" Carlisle started "There are quite a few things we need to discuss now that you were changed." I only nodded and he continued. "Well, first I need to ask you if you want to follow our lifestyle."
"What do you mean?" I asked confused.
"Well, I want to know if you plan on hunting huma-"
"NO!" I interrupted him, my voice sounded too loud even to my own ears, but I wanted to make sure that they understood I had no intention to ever harm a human being.
"That's good to hear. I guarantee to you that everyone in this house will help you in this task as much as we can. If you feel you need anything, don't hesitate to ask. We know how difficult this change can be."
"Okay. Thanks." I said. I didn't know what to say to that. Why were they being so nice? After all I have done, I wouldn't have blamed them if they just threw me out and never looked at me again. I mean, Edward had just left because of what I have done. I'm sure they would rather he stayed than me.
"I need to tell you of our plans concerning your abstinence for Charlie." Carlisle continued
Charlie. My father. My mother. Phil. My friends. I had almost forgotten about them. But can you blame me? After everything we have been trough?
"As Edward may have told you," The mention of his name sent a new wave of guilt into me, but none of the family members seemed to realize it. I either became a better liar after I was turned or they didn't care either way. "Newborns are known for their lack of self control so we believe that you better not come in contact with any humans for a while. We came up with a plan while you were unconscious."
Unconscious, really? Is that what they called it? I don't remember being unconscious. Because if I was unconscious I wouldn't remember the pain. And pain was all I remembered.
"We will tell everyone that you and Edward ran off together. He left us a letter explaining everything, and I think you could read it and write one yourself so that we can send Charlie. This way you may see Charlie if you ever regain control of yourself while he is still alive." Carlisle explained.
"Oh, OK. That's good. So, I'll just start writing mine now and-" I wanted to end this meeting as fast as possible. I wanted some time alone to process everything that had happened.
"In a moment, Bella" Carlisle continued. "We still have the problem with the treaty. The wolves won't like that you were turned, Bella, and it will be too suspicious if we simply pack up and leave. We will be never able to return. I want to know if anyone else thought of a solution since our last night."
The treaty. I think that's something I hadn't mentioned until now, right? So, it's like this. A long time ago Carlisle and the others were in Forks and they encountered Jacob's ancestors. You know, werewolves. But not really, they are actually shape shifters, who happen to turn into wolves, but that's beside the point.
So, as I was saying, they all met, but the wolves knew they were not in enough numbers to attack the vampires, and Carlisle never wants to hurt anyone so they made a deal. The wolves would leave them alone as long as they never harmed a human being and they kept out of the Quileute Lands. Wild guess here, but they might see me turning until a vampire as, you know, harming a human being. Where did they get that idea?
So, anyway, the room was quiet; no one knew what to say. I looked at Alice for the first time ever since I remembered what had happened, and I saw that she was filled with guilt as much, or maybe even more so, than me. She blamed herself not only because she had been unfaithful to her husband, and the mistress of her brother's girlfriend, but she had also lost control of the monster inside of her and put the entire family in a position that they could be exposed or maybe even killed by the wolves.
I could not bear to let her feel like this. It hurt me deeply to see her sad, so I said the first thing that came into my mind.
"What if I explained to them that I was willing to be changed?"
"What?" They all asked
"I could talk to Jake; convince him that it was all my idea and I wanted to be changed. I can ask him to let this go."
"Bella, you can't come close to your friend, you may harm him." Esme explained to me, in her mother-like voice.
"But you always say that they stink, won't that be enough to keep me from killing him?"
"I believe Bella may be right. Hopefully, their unpleasant smell will keep her from harming them. And seeing that is our only idea, if it doesn't work, I believe we will have to move to keep from going into war with their tribe."
"Ok, so that's settled then, Bella will try to talk to the dogs and we will be right behind her, because if it doesn't work we may attack and maybe already take a few of them down." Emmett exclaimed, jokingly. Or so, I hoped.
"Emmett!" Esme chastised "We will not attack the wolves."
"Spoilsport" He replied, and her only response was an eye roll.
"In that case, I believe we have discussed the more pressing matters." Carlisle said. "Now, I'm sure Alice and Bella need to talk. I trust that Alice can show Bella her new room."
My new room. They were really welcoming me into their family. How could they do this? Were they really that selfless? I had just made their son leave. He had said so himself. Edward could not stay near me, and they were giving me a room?
Rosalie had not said a word during this whole exchange, and I almost missed it. If there was something she could do was speak her mind and I wanted to know what she was really thinking. What they were all really thinking.
Jasper was another that had kept quiet during the entire exchange, but I'm sure that he was not celebrating my new living arrangements. No one could be that selfless. Really, would you want the woman with whom your wife had just cheated on you living in the same house as you?
"Yes, of course." My little pixie answered. Wait, when did she become mine?
That was it. So, what do you think will happen between those two?
Next chapter must be here next tuesday.
Please review.