So since I did receive reviews, I shall continue. Thank you guys for reviewing, it makes me day. I feel a little more useful to the world. While I don't get enough time to write every day, I'll try not to disappoint you readers and complete this story for sure.
This chapter has a few spoilers for those who haven't read the manga and all. The old Yukiji time period mention - not much of it. But you have been forewarned!
Disclaimer: Just a fan trying to make myself happy by writing random pointlessness. Don't own anything.
The view outside the window was exquisitely monotonous and so was the voice of the sensei going on about the physics behind every action having equal and opposite reactions. She was beginning to fully grasp what that meant though.
Her mind wandered back to what had happened a few nights back in Tomoe's room. Her face heated up just a bit thinking about it, her mind racing through the feeling of his touch and how his lips crashed into her with such fierceness. She had known many sides to Tomoe but this was one she was still unaware of. She still hadn't seen the lustful, passionate side of him that she presumed those tanuki women from the Red Light District had known of. She wasn't certain if it was envy or jealousy – those two being completely separate in her mind.
She wanted to be the only object of affection in his life; she wanted her to be the only one he would show such a passion to. So she turned to look at his face just to her side. He had his eyes plastered to the board although she was certain he was not paying much attention either.
As the bell for the last class chimed, she lazily got up and got a hold of her bag. It would be a long walk back home again – one where she wouldn't know what to say or how to act. She had once thought that they had come so far that there would never be such a silence between them but she was wrong. Tomoe was acting like he always did. Nothing had changed for him. He would make fun of her, tease her, work her to her bone etc. Even if she would push to somehow make him talk about it, he would pretend as if there was nothing to talk about.
Her feet dragged along the stairs to the shrine and her lids were heavy. She wanted to get home and sleep. So while Tomoe went on about her duties as a God, she just shut the shoji in his face and fell onto her bed.
He was so kind to her. He was so gentle and caring yet he would never show it. It felt crazy to ask for more but somehow she wanted it all.
That afternoon, as she fell to slumber, she dreamt back to her visit to the olden era 500 years ago. It was so vivid; she could've sworn it was real. But then parts of it had been.
She was in that worn down excuse for a house, sheltered from the cold and rain outside. She felt warm not because of the roof over her head but the hand that gripped her arm ferociously. She could've sworn that if he gripped any tighter, her arm would break. But she couldn't care less – she was just mystified by his golden red orbs and long silver hair. They had the gleam of the moon in them.
He pushed himself to her against the wall and his hand snaked up to her back, undoing the obi. Her heart pounded in her chest and she closed her eyes tight. She was certain he wouldn't hold back this time. As she breathed in to open her eyes again, all she saw from the wooden roof over her bed. Her right hand which was supposedly clutching his hair was actually just holding tightly to the sheets under her.
Her face was hot but that wasn't the only part of her which was bothered at that moment. She recalled how Tomoe had almost manhandled her in the past and tears welled up in her eyes thinking back on how a part of her had always wanted Tomoe to touch her like that. How, had it not been so many years back in time, maybe she wouldn't have cried or stopped him.
She turned her head and buried her face into her pillow then, her mind remembering that instant when he stopped all his advances the moment he saw her tears. She remembered him surrendering to her completely. She remembered how he approached her wanting her to be his but in the process, just ended up completely submitting to her. She wanted all of that. She wanted him to be like that with her again.
Night drew in and she was done with all the talismans and fortunes and answering of prayers. Her shoulders ached and her head throbbed.
Tomoe put tea in front of her and told the will-o'-whisps to go sleep before he knocked them out himself. From the corner of her eye, she could see Tomoe and Mizuki bickering about something. She smiled at how warm it felt – having a home to come back to. She would not give this up for anything. She was grateful for Tomoe but her gratitude towards Mizuki was no less. He might have acted foolish and petty but he had his own wisdoms and earnest moments.
"Nanami, you should go sleep. Its late and you have school in the morning." Tomoe instructed sternly while he forced Mizuki to clear the table in front of them.
"Hmm…" She replied absent mindedly while getting up on her feet.
She put a hand on her shoulder and pressed, her face wincing, before she turned around and left the room.
This was her every day.
"Are you alright?" A deep voice spoke from behind her.
Nanami turned her head to see Tomoe standing at her window, leaning against the sill.
"Why?" She asked, looking away.
She didn't want him to see her right now. She had been feeling so frustrated with his careless attitude towards her that she had no control over her emotions.
"You seem tired. Do your shoulders hurt?" He asked, jumping into her room without permission.
"A little. Why? Are you actually worried about me?" She snubbed.
Tomoe's eye twitched as he heard her reply. "What is that supposed to mean?"
"I'm just saying, I had no idea you had such concerns for me!" Nanami finally turned to him and shouted to his face. "I mean I haven't seen much-"
Immediately her rant was cut off by his lips pressing to her, silencing her thoughts completely with a deep and passionate kiss.
His hands were buried in her hair, pulling her head towards hers while his tongue swayed into her mouth feeling each and every crevice of it.
Her stomach caught fire and her head became light not just because of the kiss but because of the lack of air she had in her lungs. When she felt she couldn't hold it in anymore, she pushed him back and took in a deep long breath, her face red with suffocation.
"I do care about you Nanami, albeit you can't see it. You are ALL I care about." He spoke softly, caressing her hair and bringing her closer to himself.
Her hands were still on his chest from where she had pushed him back. She felt Tomoe trying to bridge the gap between them but tonight she just wouldn't do that so she pushed him away again.
"Tomoe… I feel like a fool. Sometimes I look at you and feel like things were easier on me when you hadn't returned my feelings. Now I keep expecting you to love me yet all I get… All I have is…" She lost track of words as she began to cry.
Tears kept streaming down her face as she looked down, not wanting to look into his eyes.
"Nanami… What do you want me to be like? Tell me." Tomoe responded with a light voice, his hand cupping her face and trying to raise her head up.
His hands were cold. As she looked up with her blurred vision, his eyes looked sincere. But more than sincerity, she saw something forlorn. Like there had been something missing there all along.
Nanami melted into his touch each time he was close to her like this. So, like always, she took a step near him again and then buried her face in his chest. It was lean and hard against her soft cheeks.
"I want you to love me like you did back then… I want you to show me your affection; tell me all your feelings." She hiccupped in between her words from the crying.
Tomoe wrapped his arms around her waist tightly, resting his head on her's.
If only he could explain to her how difficult that was. Tomoe had spent 500 years thinking the love of his life was dead. He had spent all this time fighting himself thinking he was in love with someone while the woman he loved all along had been right in front of him. That emptiness he had which the Mikage had tried to get rid of was never fulfilled no matter what he did.
The Tomoe then was expressive – the Tomoe then was alive. How was he supposed to explain all of that to Nanami? He felt dead and afraid. It terrified him just to think of how he had been in the past. And he was certain that if he started opening up all his bottled emotions, his thirst for blood would overpower him. What if in the process of being closer to her, he managed to harm her dangerously? He couldn't risk losing her again. Not again.
"Tomoe… Say something. Anything!" Nanami pleaded.
"I snuck in through the window because I didn't want the damn snake to follow me. I wanted to be alone with you, Nanami. Please don't get me wrong. I want to be with you. It's just that I don't know how else to do that but this…"
His words were truths and lies all jumbled up but Nanami knew he was sincere. He was rarely this patient and calm with her so she slumped her shoulders and slid out of his embrace. She was only 17. She would bear with it for as long as she had to. She had time still to turn him around. All she needed was a plan of action – a trigger. There was no use in pushing this matter right now, she understood that clearly.
She sat on the edge of her bed and heaved a loud sigh. "Alright, I understand."
She wiped away the remainder of her tears and then looked up at Tomoe's slanting eyes. She saw a kind of sadness in them. She couldn't quite figure out what it was. But she had time. She would be patient as he had been for 500 years.
With both her hands, she slapped her cheeks hard in the attempts to fix her mood and then flashed him a bright smile. "It's alright Tomoe. I'll wait for you to come around. I'll wait for you as you waited for me. Tomoe, I'm right here. So when you feel like you can inch even a bit closer to me, I'll be right here."
By the Gods, she had the most beautiful smile. By the Gods, she had the brightest eyes in all the realms. By the Gods, she had the purest heart amongst all the beings.
He doesn't exactly remember what happened next but all he can conclude moments after her voice reached his fox ears was that she was beneath him and he was kissing her small but plump lips ravenously as he had never kissed before.
Her heart raged through her chest against his as she felt his body pressed to her. While one hand held him up from crushing her, the other ran along her cheek, down to her slender neck, stroking it while he sucked on her lower lip hungrily.
She brought her arms up to wrap around his neck as he moved down from her lips to jaw before licked her angle and nipping at the soft skin of her neck.
She was so fragile, he knew her body would break if he put even the slightest bit more force into his actions.
Her eyes, bathed in haze, opened only half while feeling his sharp teeth nibble, delighting her neck. All she could she through her narrow sight was his silver hair and pointy ears at the base of her vision and his furry silver tail sway over the both of them as they lie on the bed, one over the other.
She couldn't make sense of the heat washing over her body but one thing was clear to her: it was definitely right. It was definitely something she was yearning for.
She felt his lips begin to suck on her neck, right over her jugulars, his tongue licking in between, and subconsciously let out a very soft moan.
Tomoe's ears shuddered at the sweet sound of her pleasure and his hands began to have a mind of their own. While moving down to her clavicle, his hands began to rip off the buttons of her night shirt, top three already gone.
Without a second to waste, his lips and tongue began to descend with his hand, licking and sucking along the end of her shirt till he felt her soft heaving chest making just the slightest cleavage in the center.
"T-Tomoe…" Nanami sighed, feeling completely overtaken by his lips.
Her mind was too far gone to consider what was happening before but she was brought back to reality as she felt the sudden absence of his touch. The warmth that surrounded her started to fade and she jolted her eyes open, fearing his departure.
But to her surprise, he was still there. He was hovering over her, staring deep into her eyes as if peeking into her soul.
She looked back at him, trying her best to put up a confident and brave face. She knew what was to come. She knew that he would ask her for her permission because no matter how unruly he would act, he was such a gentleman. Inside, she giggled and her heart swelled. She was ready. She was surely ready. She wanted him to take all of her but only at the cost of him giving his all to her.
But Tomoe did not utter a single word. Instead he leaned down again, kissing the end of where her third button was, right in the center of her breasts before going up and giving her a very chaste, soft kiss.
"You have school tomorrow, Nanami. You should rest. I know how tired you were."
His voice was like the softest and most dangerous storm she had encountered. It was that coldest fear washing over her – that fear of rejection. But her throat could not summon a voice to complain. Her eyes couldn't even well up hot tears. She was in shock at how abruptly he pulled up – no. How EASILY he pulled away right into such a moment.
She lie there still while he jumped back to his feet, fixing her quilt over her and turning off the lights, disappearing into the darkness of the shrine.
Her hands were shaky and her mouth was dry. She didn't understand. Was she not pretty enough? Was she not responsive enough? Was she not experienced enough? She wanted to sink into a kind of sleep from which she wouldn't wake for a thousand years.
TBC
So that was that. I kind of feel bad for Nanami right now but we are all pretty sure that their relationship will never be THAT smooth-sailing due to the various tragedies and differences in lives.
Review if you likeeeee.