A/N: Hey, guys!
Thanks again for the reviews! Love them!
I know that I labeled this story as partly humorous, but it's not 'HAHAHA LOL' humor. XD It's more of Grimmjow's inner thoughts, and I personally find them a bit funny.
Also, an answer to a PM I recieved from FreakyShell:
Yes, I have smoked before, but I am not an 'avid weedhead.' XD Though I know people who use it medically and I think it's pretty top that it can be used for healing and not just for the unproductive tomfoolery that we all love so much.
This story will be getting darker, as in 'sin against humanity' dark.
I hope I can keep most of you guys interested up until that point.
After that, it's only for the brave souls.
But as always...
Enjoy! :3
And so I run now to the things they said could restore me
Restore life the way it should be
I'm waiting for this cough syrup to come down
Life's too short to even care at all, oh
I'm losing my mind losing my mind losing control
If I could find a way to see this straight
I'd run away
To some fortune that I should have found by now
One more spoon of cough syrup now
-Young The Giant 'Cough Syrup'
Weed is great.
It's really great.
Once you get past the smell, it's really fucking awesome.
It's unlike anything I've ever experienced.
It doesn't depress me like the meds do.
It's completely natural and doesn't contain weird chemicals I can't pronounce.
It comes straight from God's green earth, so why do people think it's so bad?
I've been smoking for maybe three weeks now, and I've never been so calm in my life.
The first time was tough since I couldn't inhale it right, but Kisuke was there to show me how.
And he's a trip when he's high.
He made some joke about a cow, and we both laughed for about five minutes just repeating what he said.
Dude is fucking hilarious, or he's just really funny because I'm high too.
I absolutely love the stuff, though I'm trying not to rely on it too much.
But that's really hard when it's the only thing keeping my mind leveled.
Because of it, I don't have dreams anymore.
And I'm thankful.
I used to wake sweating and sitting up while Kisuke held my head to his chest and rocked me back and forth.
You know those horrible nightmares that you can't remember once you wake up?
That was every night with me.
My cheeks were always wet and my vision was blurry and I think my brain was partially dead.
One time Jinta was crying too.
I hit him.
Apparently I was screaming for help and I scared the living shit out of the kid when he came to check on me.
I comforted him before I comforted myself. I even let him sleep with me.
That's one reason why I don't want dreams, good or bad, I don't want them.
I don't sleep much, but when I do, I want silence.
No noise, no movement, just empty space.
My mind is alway running.
Random and relevant thoughts alike.
Can't I have a fucking break at least when I'm sleeping?
Zaraki says he's noticed my decrease in stress and anger. He says he can tell that I'm more collected with my thoughts as well. We meet every other weekday, and before I go, I always smoke so that talking with him is easier. We mostly talk about school.
I'm going to be starting soon.
I don't know if I'm ready to go back, though.
Talking about it with Kenpachi isn't that tough when I have a smoke, but it's still a little painful.
My first year sucked major ass.
After first period I was just pissed the rest of the day.
My classes were easy so I didn't even pay any attention.
I was just waiting for lunch so I could eat something.
When the time rolled around, I grabbed my food and searched for a place to eat in peace. It seemed that no one was headed to the roof so I went up there. Instead of sitting, I ate standing up so I could just look out at the city. There were small clusters of people, but no one that would pose another threat or bother me.
"Grimmjow!"
Spoke too soon.
When I turned around some ginger kid was jogging my way. He caught me in a tight hug, trapping me against the fence.
What the fuck?
Who?
I held my food above my head so that it wouldn't spill. A few kids looked this way and I blushed. This was really awkward.
"Uh..."
"Where have you been, man? I haven't seen you in like three years!"
I don't remember ever seeing you.
"I can't believe we're going to the same highschool! Isn't that great? I thought that..."
His excited voice drowned out of my head as I looked at him weirdly.
Who is this guy?
And why is he so excited to see me?
Did I know him at some point?
I'm not very good with faces, so I have no idea who I'm dealing with right now.
I guess he caught on at some point in his ramblings.
"...You remember me, right?"
About that...
"It's me, Ichigo!" He shouts.
...Nah, still not helping.
"Baka! We've known each other since kindergarten!" His face flushes and he pouts in an oddly cute sort of way.
Well, I'd be embarrassed too if I was going on and on and the person I was talking to was paying no kind of attention.
"Sorry," I mumble. "But I can't really remember."
"Oh, c'mon. I taught you how to ride a bike when we were like 10. You forgot about all that stuff?" He asks.
...Ichigo...Ichigo...Ichigo!
I do remember this guy.
Don't know why I forgot him of all people.
Though I guess I kind of pushed the last few years out of my brain.
Even though I was an asshole to him, he was the only friend I had back then.
Well, we weren't close, but he taught me to ride a bike.
And that's about it.
But in a way, he saved my life.
If I hadn't been able to ride a bike, I couldn't have runaway.
And I'd probably be fucking dead now.
"Oh yeah," I say awkwardly. "I remember now. Kurosaki, right?" He smiles and nods.
"Just call me Ichigo, dude."
He looks so happy to see me.
I can't understand why.
I couldn't have been that nice to him back then.
"C'mon, you can sit with us," Kurosaki says then gestures for me to follow him. He sits on a long bench with other people sitting along it as well.
I don't sit down.
There's too many people.
"Who's this?" An albino kid asks and points to me with his chopsticks.
"Guys, this is Grimmjow, he's an old friend of mine," Ichigo introduces me. "Grimmjow, this is Shiro," the albino kid salutes with his chopsticks. "Chad," a big Hispanic looking guy greets me in a low voice. "Tatsuki," a boyish looking girl smiles. "Shinji," a blond kid with a wide grin nods. "And Hiyori," a short girl with blond spiky pigtails sitting in Shinji's lap waves.
I'm jealous.
They all look like they were probably friends in junior high.
I came here alone.
They just look like your regular band of misfits and I'm sure I'd fit in great.
If I could actually learn to socialize.
Try to make friends, Grimmjow, Kisuke's voice echoes in my head.
C'mon. You can do this.
Don't grunt.
Don't shrug.
Don't roll your eyes.
Speak for Christ's sake.
Don't be rude.
Don't. Be. Rude.
You want friends, remember?
I chant these in my head over and over again until I'm sure I get it.
Little did I know that I was silent for about two minutes.
When I realize it, I open my mouth but nothing comes out so I stiffen and my face heats up.
Everyone laughs and my cheeks flush even more.
Great first impression.
I hate when people laugh at me.
It just reminds me of my 'Blue Goo' days.
And everything accompanying that name.
"Stop laughing at me!" I shout angrily with my fists clenched.
Everyone quiets down and looks at me.
Good going, dumbass. No friends for you.
"Grimmjow, calm down. No one's making fun of you," Ichigo places a hand on my shoulder and says sincerely.
He must remember what I was like back then.
I hated when people laughed at me.
"Yeah man," Shinji spoke up with a smile. "We're all friends here."
Good, I didn't fail after all.
Without a word, I take a seat at the end of the bench away from everyone else and continue to eat.
I was still a little embarrassed.
"Sorry we're late!" A chirpy voice rings from behind me.
Some ginger girl runs over followed by a pale guy with big green eyes.
"Hime, lunch is almost over," Tatsuki says with a roll of her eyes.
"Yeah, I know," she scratches her head and laughs, "I couldn't decide what to get for lunch, but Ulquiorra was nice enough to wait for me." She finishes and her eyes drift to me. A blush covers her cheeks and I raise and eyebrow.
Why was she staring at me?
"Oh Orihime, Ulquiorra, this is Grimmjow Jaegerjaques," Kurosaki says to the new additions to the group.
"H-Hi..." Orihime says softly as her cheeks turn redder and she rubs her arm.
The only thing I am thinking about is that her tits are gigantic.
Jesus.
They look like they're about to pop out from that white dress shirt.
I don't say anything back and just continue eating.
She seemed weirder than anyone else.
The green-eyed kid is weird too.
He looks like he wants to take my soul.
Maybe I should stop this staring habit before my eyes dry up permanently.
I feel heat next to me and notice that Orihime is sitting next to me.
I scoot away a bit.
"Are you an exchange student? Your name sounds odd." I raise an eyebrow and she sqeaks. "B-But it's a really cool name! I mean, I-I think it's nice!" She laughs awkwardly then drops her shoulders when I look away from her. "S-So...where are you from?" I shrug. I really don't know.
My dad had some accent, but they didn't care enough to tell me about my heritage.
"U-Um...Do you take any advanced classes?"
Oh my God.
She talks way too much.
I don't even hear the rest of her questions I'm so mad.
I just want to eat in peace, not socialize.
"D-Do you play any sports?"
I grunt angrily then stand up and walk off to stand somewhere else.
No one notices. Good.
When the bell rings I get rid of my trash then head off to my next class.
Kurosaki calls my name, but I ignore him.
At this point in time, I had no idea that Ichigo would become one of my closest friends later on.
But right now, he just seemed like too much of a happy-go-lucky prick for me to be around.
Though it could just be me, since everyone seems that way.
My art class is next and I can't wait.
It's really hard for me to focus in that class because none of the other students pay any attention.
Either they don't care or don't want to, but it's really loud and rowdy.
Though I still love art enough to pay as much attention as I can.
This one tenth-grader sits near me and he snores so fucking loud.
Someone threw a textbook at his head and he still didn't wake up.
I mean, is the teacher retarded or something?
She has to hear him.
When school is over, Ichigo asks me if I want to hang out and catch up.
I tell him I can't.
I've got detention with Cadet Shitmouth due to this morning's incident.
I roll my eyes at the memory of my first day.
It was just the begginning of a long ride of bullshit.
I notice I'm out of weed.
Shit.
I'm starting to depend on it for solace so I really need it.
Maybe Renji's nearby and he can drive me to the pharmacy. He's been able to visit on the weekends since he and his mother moved to a place close in the city. Every Saturday he comes over and stays the night.
Sometimes we hang out, sometimes we have sex.
It really depends on our mood at the time.
If we're fine and dandy, we'll chill out or go see a movie or some shit.
If we're both having a shit day, we'll drive somewhere quiet and fuck like starved demons in the backseat of his car.
Things haven't gotten complicated between us yet, so it's still fine with me if we screw around sometimes.
Look, I respect Kisuke's wishes and all, but I've gotta do what I've gotta do.
And whenever I need a filter, I'll wait until the weekend so Renji can filter with me.
We just kind of help each other out that way.
I call him and he almost shouts in my ear about wanting to smoke with me.
I guess he's been smoking long before I have, but he's never done it with me.
Apparently he has some great methods for fun while getting high.
When he gets here I rush downstairs.
"Where you going?" Kisuke asks from the kitchen.
"To refill," I say.
"Pick up some children's Tylenol, too. I think Jinta's got little summer cold."
"Okay!" I shout then leave. I hop into Renji's car and we speed off.
"This is gonna be fuckin awesome," he says excitedly.
"Never knew ya as the smoker type, Renji."
"I'm not really, but I do on special occasions."
"And what makes today so special?"
"I'm smokin with you, baka," he says and rolls his eyes. We pull into the parking lot and I get out the car. Though I stop in my tracks when I see what pharmacy we're at.
Oh no.
He's probably here.
"Uh, hey...do you think you could take me to a different pharmacy?" I ask nervously.
"And pointlessly waste gas?" Renji let's out an empty laugh. "Hurry up." I roll my eyes then take the sunglasses off of his head. "Hey, those are vintage!" He shouts.
I stick my tongue out at him then slide them over my eyes.
Even when it's 90° out, I pull my hood over my hair.
I don't want anyone to notice me.
The air conditioner hits me when I walk in and it makes me want to pull off my hood, but I don't. I head straight for the medicine isle. I'll get Jinta's stuff first then head to the counter to order mine.
I didn't even bother checking to see who was at the cash register, so when I see bright orange hair, I panic a bit.
Dammit. Ichigo's just as bad.
Though maybe he won't notice me.
But if he's here today, he'll know exactly who I am in a split second.
I grab the Tylenol then walk up to the counter.
I put the bottle down then place my order and anxiously tap my foot.
I try to disguise my voice.
I need to get out if here before he notices me.
After placing two bags on the top, he speaks:
"Hey, Grimmjow..."
Fuck.
It's been so long his voice sounds like a strangers
It's softer and kinder, not how I remember.
He must think I'm fragile too.
"H-Hey," I reply sheepishly.
I feel stupid wearing this hood and sunglasses.
I take them off then stare at the ground.
"How've you been?" He asks. It's starting to feel natural again.
"Fine...I-I guess..." I rub the base of my neck awkwardly.
There's a bit of silence and I feel his eyes on me.
"Everybody misses you."
Why'd he have to say that?
"Yeah..."
"Why haven't you been answering your phone?..."
Think...
"It's broken."
I'm just as bad as the rest of the world.
All these lies.
"Oh..."
"Yeah..."
There's another silence before he perks up.
"Well, we should start hanging out again...sometime," he says with a small smile.
Oh, fuck you, Ichigo.
No one can be this fucking nice all the time.
Why does he still want to be friends with me?
There has to be a reason, some motive behind it.
There has to be.
No one should want to even associate with me at all.
Now I've made myself angry.
"Thanks, but I don't that's a good idea," I say curtly then grab the bag and go. He calls after me but I ignore it.
I storm back to the car and get in.
"Did you get everything?" Renji asks.
I only grabbed one bag.
I forgot the main thing I came here for.
Great, now I have to go back in after being a total dick.
I keep my head hung as I stroll up to the counter again.
"Hey, I forgot—"
When I look up, I'm met with a lazy, gray stare.
My breath catches in my throat.
Where'd Kurosaki go? Did his shift end that quick?
How'd they switch so fast?
It's been so long since I've laid my eyes on his.
There's surprise and happiness in them, even though his face doesn't show it, I can tell.
I back up then turn around and try to make a swift exit.
There's a loud commotion behind me and I know he's hopping over the counter top.
I tense up when he firmly grabs my arm, stopping me in my tracks and making the bones in my wrist pop audibly.
It hurts like hell, him being much bigger and stronger than I am.
But I don't care.
There still isn't a warmth like his in the entire world.
I miss it.
I've never even touched him (what I wouldn't give), but I miss it so much.
"Wait. Just, wait..." He trails off and I clench my fist.
Here we go.
So I know that was kind of a cliffhanger, but the little troll in me told me to stop it there.
The next chapter will be all about how Grimmjow met Starrk, and a little something extra... ;D
I know I was a bit late, but I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!
R&R, please!
~EMAE