Guess who's back after four months?! months omg I'm so sorry.
The main reason I've been go for so long (besides being a lazy bugger), is that I was writing for the Kurt Hummel Big Bang. It was all going incredibly well, but of course, I didn't get it finished in time. So, now I have 34k of an unfinished story and no idea what to do with it.
So after my guilt had subsided a little over abandoning this, I came back to it. The sad thing is I've had most of this written since January, I just couldn't pull it together. Thank you to everyone still giving this story a chance (even if you have to completely re-read it by this point). As always, compliments and criticisms much appreciated.
I promised to stop ending these with apologies, but I'm still sorry. I hope this somewhat makes up for it. And a huge thank you to my bestie and beta, Lori, who was still there to read through this and offered her advice at 2 am and reassure me that it's not /total/ crap.
oh, also, no. I don't hate Blaine, he's just a bit of an ass for his own reasons sometimes.
Keeping up the appearance that he wasn't at all bothered about his unanimous rejection from the New Directions – he was torn between thoughts of "I'm way too good for them anyway, why would I ever lower myself to that?" and "this is a low point in my life. Not even the Glee club wants me." – so he maintained his distance from its members for the next few days.
Kurt was the exception. Though he didn't realise it consciously at first, he'd hover around him in-between classes, when he was alone in the lunch line, when he went to the library after school one night to study. He began to think of it as a challenge, because god knows the learning wasn't. Sometimes he'd remain quiet and just invade his personal space, breathing heavily out of his nose to irritate Kurt. He usually saved that one for during class because Kurt couldn't escape so easily. Other times he'd constantly comment on everything Kurt was doing or saying or wearing.
At first, Kurt ignored him completely. Though after a week of Sebastian's game, when he parked his car right beside Kurt's navigator, making sure that the gap between their cars was just small enough so Kurt couldn't open his door, he thought it was time to fight back. It didn't take Kurt too long to figure out that it was Sebastian's car though, and he supposed Sebastian was wealthy enough to not bat an eye at a $600 repair bill for an accidental dent in his car door. And he knew that the slushie incident and its resulting confession -whether forgiven by Blaine or not – was serious enough to cause Sebastian trouble with the authorities if he tried to shove said repair bill back in his face. Kurt took particular satisfaction with that victory, he only wished he could've seen Sebastian's face when he saw his newly modified car, complete with a post-it note stuck to the window that read "oops - xo" in cursive.
Sebastian wished he could say he was furious, absolutely livid. But when he walked out of that door and saw the addition to his car door, he ran his fingers gingerly down it, pulled off the post-it note and rolled his eyes laughing quietly to himself. He climbed inside the vehicle before realising he was still holding the post-it, so he screwed it up and threw it on the dashboard. He passed three sets of traffic lights before the bright yellow hue of the post-it forced him to pull over. It's a post-it note from the anonymous asshole that damaged your car and didn't even stick around to swap insurance, he told himself, picking up the scrap and unfolding it, running his fingers over the inked "xo". He slammed his head onto the steering wheel, eliciting a long and tired sigh.
.+.
"Sebastian that car is less than six months old what the hell did you do?"
He was lying in his bed quietly reading when his father walked into his bedroom without knocking. Sebastian didn't look up from his book.
"Sebastian?" He father prompted.
"Some asshole decided to slam his door into mine." He said absently whilst flipping the page.
"Who was it?"
"Don't know. Must have happened whilst I was at practice."
"Did you do something?" Sebastian looked up.
"How could I have done something? I was in school."
"You always manage to do something." Sebastian gritted his teeth.
"Aw. Thanks dad."
"Don't be sarcastic, son."
"Don't automatically assume the worst in me, then."
"Your track record speaks for itself."
"I love my car, why would I ever intentionally damage it?"
"I never said it was intentional."
"So I'm just one massive fuck up to you?"
"Stop twisting my words. I was just asking."
"Really?" He muttered.
"Really." He smiled.
"It wasn't my fault. I swear." Well, not directly, he added.
"Then find out whose fault it was and make sure they give you the money for the repair."
"Seriously? How am I supposed to do that? I'll never be able to find out who did it."
"Then you can pay for it." His father replied, indifferently. Sebastian sat up straight.
"That's not fair, dad."
"Life's not fair, son."
"Can't you just pay for it?" His father just stared.
"No, Sebastian. I can't."
"Why not?"
"Why should I? Not my fault, not my car."
"It's not my fault either."
"You've mentioned." Sebastian sighed heavily and reclined again, placing the book on his face. "Sort it out as soon as you can, son. I'll book the repair for the weekend." His father said, and left the room. Sebastian almost threw his book after him, before concluding that it wasn't worth it.
He reopened his book and tried to start reading again but nothing could hold his attention, so he decided to go for a drive. Cas rushed into the hallway at the sound of him gathering his keys and putting on his coat, he hated that dog's ever present optimism, he had nothing to worry about. Sebastian patted the dog's head affectionately but shook his head at him and stepped outside.
He drove without direction for around half an hour before the petrol tank began to border on yellow and the sun was just beginning to set.
He decided to make time for a quick coffee fix as he was only a few minutes drive from the Lima Bean. He made it all the way to collecting his coffee from the barista before he noticed Kurt, who was sat browsing on his laptop, surrounded by a bunch of papers in a booth in the corner, alone. He didn't think twice before walking over there with a sense of purpose and determination.
"You owe me $600." Sebastian slammed both hands and the coffee cup on the table to get his attention. Kurt's gaze followed the hands up to Sebastian's face.
"For what?" He asked innocently, eyes wide and curious.
"You know what." Kurt stared. "You dented my car door on purpose, Kurt. I know it was you."
"You have no proof." Kurt shook his head slightly, smiling.
"This is your handwriting." Sebastian pulled the post-it note from his inside pocket and unfolded it, shoving it in Kurt's face. It took Kurt a moment to realise that Sebastian hadn't thrown it away already. And another to come to the conclusion that it was probably for blackmail purposes.
"Unsubstantial evidence."
"And what if I ask for CCTV tapes?"
"You really think this school can run decent surveillance software?" He challenged.
"You're going to pay me that money, Kurt."
"Oh please, I wouldn't shit a dime for you, Sebastian. Besides, why are you so worked up? Don't act like your family doesn't earn that in pocket change before you've even had your breakfast."
"That's not the point." Sebastian said, Kurt cocked an eyebrow. "You need to pay for the damage you did."
"The damage I did?" Kurt exclaimed. "What about the damage you did?"
"I never touched your car.!"
"I'm not talking about my car, you idiot. What about everything you've done to Blaine. To me, to the rest of the New Directions? What about all the other people you've hurt, intentionally or not?" Kurt waited. Sebastian had no response. "Didn't think about that much did you?"
"Fuck you. Don't assume what I do and do not spend time thinking about." This time it was Kurt who was speechless at the amount of offensive in his tone.
"I can make an educated guess."
"Oh so you're a mind reader now?"
"I said educated. Spend one minute around you and it's easy to see you're a remorseless, selfish narcissist."
"That's not true." Kurt raised an eyebrow. "Don't give me that look."
"What look?"
"That look like you know me more than I know myself. You don't. You're so wrong."
"Maybe I don't. But I know exactly what kind of guy you are."
"If you got to know me, maybe I'd surprise you."
"Not likely." Kurt uttered, turning his attention back to sorting through the papers in front of them. When Sebastian didn't show any sign of budging, Kurt pinched his nose, breathing out slowly before looking up at him again. "Anything else I can help you with today?"
Sebastian pulled out the chair resting opposite and sat down heavily. He placed his cup deliberately onto Kurt's papers so he'd have to react.
"What are you doing?" Kurt asked, moving the cup to a clear area on Sebastian's side of the table.
"This is the only free table." He shrugged back. Kurt gaped, scanning the Bean for what he already knew; it was a Tuesday evening in late March, aside from the two of them and the staff, there were at most five other people occupying tables.
"You're kidding me right?" He paused. "This table isn't free, I'm sat here."
"Kurt, come on. We're friends."
"No, that's not really how I'd describe it."
"How would you describe it?" He smirked, running his tongue across his teeth as he sat back further in his chair, knocking Kurt's knee when he stuck his leg out.
"Please leave." Kurt's attention was back to flitting between skim reading his notes and furiously typing on his computer.
"But I enjoy your company so much." He insisted, placing his hand over his heart in mock hurt.
"Okay." Kurt replied, shutting his laptop, "what is you angle here?"
"Why must there be an ulterior motive for everything I do?"
"Because that's what you do, Sebastian. You scheme and mock with your smooth voice and your dumb smirk. Hell, you could just be stood there doing nothing and I'd probably still find you shifty."
"I'm just trying to make friends."
"I feel like we're going round in circles here. One day you're 'making friends' and then next you're too good for anyone. I tried to be friendly when you first transferred and you shut me out, god knows why I even bothered." He muttered, staring at the boy opposite as if his face held all the answers. "And then, you won't leave me alone until you've found every conceivable way of pissing me off. I just don't get it, that's not how this stuff works."
"I was having a bad day." He shrugged.
"Is this bad day permanent?"
"Sometimes."
"Usually people who are trying to make friends or fit in or whatever it is that you're trying to do, they act nice and don't try to steal your boyfriend constantly."
Sebastian rolled his eyes at the last comment.
"I'm not after your boyfriend, princess."
"My point still stands."
"You're friends with Santana, she's a bitch."
"But her hearts in the right place. I'm not sure you even have a heart."
"Ouch." He winced.
"I just don't trust you, okay. You change your attitude more than you change sexual conquests." Kurt said before realising he'd just voluntarily brought up Sebastian's sex life, and he really didn't need the encouragement. Sebastian practically cackled for the next minute whilst Kurt just watched.
"Speaking of, where is my favourite Warbler, anyway?" Sebastian asked, looking around as if expecting the tiny man to just pop out of the restroom after this whole time.
"He's not here." If looks could kill, Sebastian would be dead by now.
"I worked that one out, thanks."
"Then why did you ask?"
"Calm down, honey."
"Don't call me that."
"I bet you like it when Blainey-boo calls you that."
"I'm not talking about Blaine with you."
"Lovers quarrel?"
"Not that it's any of your business but we're fine."
Something in the way Kurt looked anywhere but straight ahead told him that they weren't fine.
Kurt rubbed at his eyes with the heel of his hands and that's when Sebastian noticed it again - how god damn exhausted Kurt looked.
"Is something going on?"
"Oh what do you care?"
"Maybe I do, maybe I don't."
"I'm tired, Sebastian."
"You look it."
"Thanks."
"I'm just concerned."
"You wouldn't know what concern was if it hit you in the face."
"You've gotta stop doing that."
"Doing what?" He asked, running his hands up his face and through his hair.
"Assuming you know me."
"I'm not in the mood for games, Sebastian."
"I'm not playing a game."
"You've been winding me up for kicks all week."
"You started it."
"Are we back in kindergarten?"
"You did."
"Okay. Whatever, can I move on with my life now? I have all of this to get through and less than a week to do it."
"What is it?"
"The research assignment for history."
"We had an assignment for history?"
"Yeah."
"Oh. I'm sure it's piss easy."
"Maybe it is, as I've always said, I'm not challenged in the least here. But I still need it to pass and get out of this cow town, so please." He gestured towards the door.
"Why don't we work together on it?"
"Firstly, you didn't even know there was an assignment until about a minute ago, second, it's an individual project to be worked on individually and third, I hate you. So no."
"What do we have to do?"
Kurt shrugged.
"Pick a period anywhere up to fifty years and analyse something notable that happened in it."
"Sounds vague."
"Extremely, I've spent the past two weeks just wondering what it means. I mean what are we marked on?"
"What genius thought up that?"
"I know." Kurt said, giving Sebastian his full attention for the first time since he'd sat down and actually cracking a smile. "I'm pretty sure he made up the whole thing on the spot it's ridiculous. Thank god I'm not paying for this shit."
"Does he even know he's a history teacher?"
"I doubt it. I'm pretty sure Mr Schuester forgot he taught Spanish for the whole first year he took over Glee club. That or he forgot how to speak Spanish."
Sebastian laughed loudly, Kurt smiled.
"This school really is a joke."
"I'll have you know it's third best in the district."
"I find that hard to believe."
"It has it's moments, when you're not fearing for your life." Kurt smiled but only with half of his mouth. Sebastian wasn't clear on many details of Kurt's first stint at McKinley, but he knew it was bad enough to warrant Kurt to move two hours away from home just to be safe.
He laughed nervously.
"So how are you finding public school life?"
"Ugh. Dull. So dull."
Kurt chuckled. "I know the feeling. I miss Dalton a lot." He smiled fondly.
Sebastian was caught up then in realising that Kurt had been to Dalton, had worn that uniform, sang in that common room and probably pranced down the halls with his little Prince Charming. He felt something stir then, and it took him a moment to realise that it was jealousy. Well, shit.
"Why did come back?" He blurted out.
Kurt didn't miss the way he said 'come' instead of 'go', like he'd accepted he was in fact, a part of the school now. He looked down at his hands, debating whether to shrug or tell the truth. "Couldn't really afford the tuition." He paused, still staring at his hands for fear of being laughed out of The Bean by Sebastian 'I sleep on a bed made of $100 bills' Smythe. "Plus, I missed my friends and Glee club."
Sebastian's brow furrowed when Kurt finally looked up. "Why did you leave in the first place?"
"Um." He hesitated.
Sebastian felt like he had crossed some kind of line and then realised how personal his question actually was, and the kind of relationship he had with Kurt, and how stupid it was to ask it.
"You don't have to answer that, if you don't want to." He back tracked.
"It's fine. The past is in the past, right?" He said as if to shrug it off, but his tone had an edge of bitterness that lead Sebastian to believe it wasn't completely forgotten. He doesn't continue and Sebastian shifts awkwardly.
Each waited for the other to speak next, Kurt's hands hovered over the lip of the laptop but he pulled them away and sat back hard in his chair.
"I was bullied a lot, that much I'm sure you figured." Sebastian's eyes shot to Kurt's face where he was playing with the hem of his shirt. "The locker shoves, slushie facials, name calling and occasional dumpster tossing I could put up with." The way Kurt said it as if it was acceptable made Sebastian's stomach turn.
"How did you deal with that?"
"I didn't deal with it, that would be the wrong word. I was withdrawn, hopeless but I didn't know any different, until-"
"You went to Dalton."
"Yeah." Kurt smiles, reminiscing.
"So you left?"
Kurt was unsure to continue. "Not until my dad found out how bad it really was?"
"You mean it was worse than that?"
He sighed again, closing his eyes for a moment. "Yeah, that one of the guys that slushied you started harassing me and threatening me."
"Threatening you how?"
"He threatened to kill me." He shivered at the memory and for a brief moment, Sebastian thought he was joking.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" He didn't need to ask, Kurt's expression told him the answer. "Kurt, holy shit." A wide range of emotions coursed through Sebastian, horror, hurt, pity, regret. Regret was the strongest, because he'd been such an ass to Kurt for no reason other than it was fun and Kurt was kinda hot when he was pissed.
Kurt's face was almost expressionless if you didn't know where to look. There was silence then, Kurt turned his attention back to his laptop, reopening it and typing a few words, sighing.
"What did you pick?" Sebastian said, sensing that conversation was way over.
"Huh?" Kurt frowned, confused at the subject change.
"For your project." He continued, gesturing towards the laptop.
"Looking to steal ideas, Smythe?" He teased, looking back at Sebastian.
"I wouldn't dare." He paused, "oh god it's not a biography of Alexander McQueen is it?" He gasped.
"No. It isn't." He said, reorganising some of the sheets into a neater pile. "It's on-" He paused to pick up a sheet that has the title of his project on, "presidencies of the United States from 1945-1980". He read from the page in a tone of fake excitement.
"I'm falling asleep already." Sebastian said, closing his eyes halfway to illustrate his point.
"But it's so captivating." Kurt joked.
"What did you really want to do?"
"I've been begging to research British Royals, or at least the French Revolution, but I got a strict warning that I'd be failed if I did seen as I've done my last four project on various monarchs." Kurt continued. "I don't even know what his problem is, it's not like I chose the same one every time." He rolled his eyes.
"That sounds more your thing." He said and Kurt smiled. "Isn't it US history?"
"You sound like the fucking teacher."
Sebastian shot him a look. "Why don't you just switch?"
"Timetable."
"Uh-huh." He smiled a bit too fondly.
"That, or maybe serial killers." Kurt mused after a moment, sipping his coffee again.
Sebastian's eyebrows shot up before he had time to school his expression.
"Really? I didn't think that was your thing."
"It's a fascination of mine. There's a lot you don't know about me." He shrugged.
"I bet there is." That sounded a little too close to flirting, so he cleared his throat.
Kurt smiled to himself before looking up. "What about you then?"
"Fuck knows."
Kurt blinked. "Wow, good luck." He checked the time on his laptop. "As much as I'd hate to stay and continue this conversation, I'm leaving now." His expression was serious but his tone was playful.
"Want a ride home?"
"You think I walked here with all this shit?" He replied, lifting his hands which where now filled with various books and papers to emphasize his point.
"Ha, of course."
Kurt just nodded, dragging his bottom lip with his mouth.
"Goodbye, then." He grabbed a notebook he'd missed and headed out of the door.
"Yeah, bye." He watched Kurt as he ran from the warmth of the indoors to his car parked across the lot.
It wasn't until Kurt was back in his car, with the low humming from the radio keeping him company as he started the drive back home that he realised he'd had an entire conversation with Sebastian without constantly feeling pissed off and on edge. It was actually kind of nice.
Sebastian had been pushy and irritating as usual but had somehow eventually managed to engage Kurt to the point where he was laughing and making jokes that weren't malicious or even directed at Sebastian. He glanced over to where his bag sat in the passenger seat, crammed full of outdated and useless textbooks he'd found in the school library and sighed. Talking through his ideas and his frustrations about the project with Sebastian had come surprisingly easy, it was unnerving. He supposed it wasn't an entirely unpleasant distraction though.
Kurt had spent all week trying to figure out what Sebastian was up to.
His phone buzzed from it's place on the dashboard in front of him. He picked it up at the next set of red lights. It was from Blaine, surprisingly. His heart fluttered for a moment in the same way it had before they were a couple, so young then, before dread began to creep in.
For the past few weeks it was as if Blaine only spoke to Kurt when he needed something or to cancel plans. They were distant, different, and Kurt couldn't work out what he'd done wrong. It was like half the time Blaine couldn't care less about him, treating their relationship like a chore. And the other half they spent attached at the hip, apartment shopping for New York and planning their future and mindlessly making out. It was confusing as hell. They were fine not three weeks ago. Was it because Sebastian was back? And Blaine had finally given in to his advances? Or was he trying to make him jealous? No. That wouldn't make any sense.
The light turned green and he threw his phone back onto the dashboard without bothering to open the text, pushing down the nauseous feeling of abandonment and humiliation his mind conjured up.
.+.
"Okay guys, settle down." Mr Schue said as he blundered into the choir room ten minutes late.
Rachel directed her attention away from where she had been endlessly over-sharing details of her weekend spent planning and practicing song
"Quinn is still recovering at home from the accident and we don't know if she'll want to re-join the club straight away, never mind competing. I just-" Mr Schue continued.
"Of course she will. She's family." Rachel interjected.
"She is." He agreed. "But we can't take anything for granted here. And I certainly don't want to be responsible for putting that amount of pressure on her."
"Mr Schue, with respect and all, Glee club is usually the thing that takes away the stress of everything else." Finn uttered.
"I agree. But, surely it couldn't hurt to bring in some more talent, anyway." He said hesitantly. Santana's expression grew suspicious.
"Please don't tell us what I think you're trying to tell us." She began, sitting straighter in her seat. "You do know he auditioned as a joke, right?"
"Calm down guys. I just-" He began, rubbing his hand down his forehead as he tried to phase his thoughts. "He's an incredibly talented performer and we need him."
"We won Regionals without him." Tina shrugged.
"Nationals is a whole different ball game. We need to be our best."
"So you keep saying." Blaine muttered from the corner.
"I really need you to understand this from a professional outlook." Mr Schue insisted.
"Oh we do. But Sebastian is far from professional; he's an egotistical maniac and quite honestly, a danger to this school." Santana challenged.
"I think if we give him a chance, he'll change." The comment was met with several sighs from around the room.
"He's tried that bs before and from what I see it didn't even last a week before he was back to his old ways." Santana folded her arms.
"True, true." Puck added.
"Anything's possible. Maybe he needs a to be influenced by the right people. This club has turned a lot of people the right way around when you think about it. Puck-" He gestured to where he sat in the back row, "is a great example. Even Sue has had her moments."
A couple of the group started to look convinced.
"Come on. What's the worst that could happen?"
Blaine stood up to point to his eye at the same time that Rachel muttered, "do you really want to go there?"
Schue sighed, as if he was about to say something he wished he didn't have to.
"Stop, okay. We've all made mistakes and done things we regret-" Kurt interrupted.
"I don't think Sebastian is the type for remorse Kurt." Santana turned in her seat to face him.
"Maybe not. But we are, and this is high school. Really will any of it matter in ten years, in twenty?" He sighed. Rachel opened her mouth to protest.
"Okay, maybe I worded that wrong." He continued when he caught Rachel's glare. "I just mean, one day it won't matter that we let some asshole sway in the back to help us win Nationals. He's just a number, right? Jacob Ben Israel almost competed with us once. We took advice from Sue Sylvester and danced a half time show in zombie make-up with the entire football team. Even though I'm still gutted I wasn't there for that one. We've dealt with worse."
He was met with sceptical looks, but he was certain it had more to do with the fact he seemed to be defending Sebastian as opposed to the point he was actually making.
"Look. In the end I'm the director of this club and my decision is law. And Sebastian is joining the club." The group stopped staring at Kurt and turned to face Mr Schuester.
"You've had a lot of tragic ideas in your time, Mr Schue, I mean that sweater vest is definitely up there," Schue glanced down at the clothing in question. "But this may possibly be your worst."
"Well, Santana. We grow from our mistakes." He smirked, clearly pleased with his own comeback. "And this vest is Emma's favourite."
"Gross." Santana rolled her eyes.
"Great." He clapped his hands together. "Now that is agreed upon-"
"Agreed." Rachel air quoted. Mr Schue sent her a threatening look.
"Now that's settled. Will someone let him know before tomorrow?"
"It was your idea. You tell him." Tina replied.
"How about whoever sees him first let's him know?"
Schue watched their nonchalant shrugs and nods of surrender and decided they'd wasted enough time on the topic for today.
"From the top."
.+.
It had been a few days since Sebastian had taken Cas out. He finished up the last questions on his French homework and headed to find that dog, taking the long route avoiding the kitchen so he didn't run into his mother.
He'd been reading under his tree, keeping a side eye on Cas for around a half hour before Kurt showed up.
"Hey."
"Hey back." Sebastian replied, putting his book face down on the grass, still open.
Kurt shifted his weight before sitting down with his legs crossed, his back resting against the same tree.
"To what do I owe you actually acknowledging me in public?" Sebastian started.
"Look, we reconsidered and when I say we I mean Mr Schue but-" He paused, "we want you in the group." He rushed the last part of the sentence.
"You- you what?"
"We want you to join the New Directions."
"Seriously?"
"Yeah." He replied.
"That's awesome!"
"I thought you didn't need our 'stupid loser Glee club'?"
"I don't I just-"
"You hate most of us."
"Well-"
"Please tell me this isn't some plan to destroy us from the inside? Because seriously that would be kind of old. Coach Sylvester has been trying that one for three years."
"I told you, I'm done playing games."
"I think I missed that conversation."
"There were witnesses."
"Sure thing."
"Trust me, it's boring as hell but at least I'm not going to hell anymore."
"I wouldn't be so sure." Kurt said, nudging Sebastian's shoulder by the tiniest amount.
Cas chose that moment to come bounding over, almost knocking Kurt off balance into Sebastian's arms, almost.
"Calm down, asshole." Sebastian exclaimed, leaning over Kurt to grab his collar and attach him to his lead to prevent further damage. Kurt found this hilarious.
"You'd think he was a Great Dane the amount of energy he's got." He said rubbing the dogs chin fondly.
"So where's yours?" Sebastian asked, playing with Cas's tail softly.
Kurt startled for a moment, either forgetting he owned a dog or that Sebastian remembered he did.
"I was actually on my way home from Blaine's, his mom is allergic to dogs so I couldn't take him with me." He said a little quietly.
"Oh really? Have a good ol' gay time?" Sebastian mocked, wiggling his eyebrows.
"The perfect evening, thank you very much." Far from it, they'd made it through two and a half episodes of Friends in the most awkward of silences before Kurt had paused it and said he had to go early. Which he didn't, but he couldn't stand the stuffy atmosphere.
"I can see it now." Sebastian said, closing his eyes and using his hands to illustrate the scene. "There are rose petals and candles surrounding the bed, Blaine's eyes the size of the moon as his stares at your stupid face and feeds you cheesecake whilst you braid each others hair."
Kurt worked on regulating his breathing and tried not to think about how his evening had been anything but that, and that the words of Sebastian Smythe were hardly worth getting worked up over.
Sebastian worked on regulating his breathing and tried not to think about the pang of jealously he felt in his chest that he wasn't the one carding his fingers through Kurt's hair or taking him out on date nights to fancy restaurants or complimenting his outfits.
Neither of them could think of what to say next that didn't involve exposing feelings.
"I should be getting back." Kurt started after a few moments longer, pushing up off the ground.
"Stay." Sebastian muttered before realising what he'd said. "I mean, stay." He added, gazing up at Kurt's dumbfounded expression.
"Okay." He said, collapsing back onto the grass.
They still didn't know what to say.
"Um, would you-?" Kurt started.
Sebastian looked up from where he was plucking out bits of grass and balancing them on Cas's nose.
"Would I what?" He prompted.
"Would you like some cookies?" Kurt scrunched up his nose, as if embarrassed to ask.
Sebastian laughed. "I'd love some."
"You're mocking me." Kurt frowned.
"I am not. Who would turn down cookies?" He smiled back genuinely.
Kurt considered him for a moment before biting his bottom lip and reaching over to open his bag. He pulled out a large Tupperware box and opened it. Inside there was a pile of rich looking, heavily glazed cookies.
"There's white chocolate, milk, dark, triple chocolate, smarties, shortbread and um, what is that?" Kurt rambled, staring at the cookies to avoiding looking at Sebastian.
"That's a lot of cookies."
"I had a day off. I like baking. Baking is fun."
"And I thank you for it." He grinned.
Kurt smiled back, wide eyes with crinkle at the edges and offered the box to him. Sebastian really didn't know where to start.
"I made them for Blaine, but, he said 'sorry, I'll pass today'." Kurt's smile dipped into a frown as he impersonated him.
Sebastian didn't reply, and instead took one of the heart shaped shortbread cookies resting on the top. He tried his best to hold back his smile.
"They're cute." Sebastian said around a mouthful of shortbread.
Kurt looked up from where he was staring at the cookies as if they were the root of all his problems and burst into laughter after a moment watching Sebastian ungracefully catch the biscuit crumbs falling from his mouth.
You're cute. "Thanks." Kurt muttered, gingerly picking out another cookie with heart shaped glazing.
Kurt handed Sebastian a napkin to catch the last crumbs and they fell into silence. Cas stretched over Sebastian to sniff at the box, whining quietly, Kurt smiled and rubbed his ear.
"Who would have thought it, me sharing heart shaped cookies with Sebastian Smythe and his over enthusiastic dog in a park?" He said, picking out one of the plain cookies and handing a piece to the dog.
"Ha." Sebastian laughed loudly, leaning back against the tree as Cas stole the last few bites of biscuit from Kurt's hand. "Certainly not me."
"I'm worried for my taste in company." Kurt joked.
"And that started after you met me?"
"Shut up." Kurt snorted.
"I'm serious."
"I'm sure you are."
"You deserve better than them."
"Right." Kurt answered sarcastically. "Whatever."
Kurt pursed his lips at him and he beamed back and then they were just staring at each other and it was kind of awkward but neither of them could look away.
"Anyway, I'm going to head home now. Rehearsals start tomorrow at 3:30, okay?" Kurt said abruptly, pushing up from the grass a little off balance and smoothing his outfit.
"Yeah, course. See you then, Kurt." Sebastian replied, the farewell feeling empty as he watched him walk across the grass until he could no longer see him.
He didn't stay in the park for much longer.
.+.
"Good morning, frenemies." Sebastian said cheerfully as he approached the New Directions who were crowded around a couple of tables in the cafeteria the next day.
He nudged his way inelegantly in between Kurt and Blaine, Kurt clenched his jaw. It was a knee jerk reaction.
"Excuse me, Sebastian." Rachel said, reaching over from her spot on the other side of Kurt to tap Sebastian on the shoulder. "What are you doing?"
"Having lunch with my club, what does it look like?" He answered, grabbing a handful of chips and shoving them into his mouth.
"You can't sit with us."
"Okay, Regina." He raised both of his hands in a mock gesture.
Rachel's mouth formed an 'o' and she crossed her arms.
"Sebastian," Kurt began, trying to keep his voice level. "Can you go five minutes without pissing someone off?"
"Let me stay and find out." He challenged, raising his eyebrows.
Kurt shared a glance with Puck who was sat across the table, he nodded towards Sebastian.
"I feel like all I ever do is tell you to go away."
"Then don't." He was aiming for cocky but it came out as something shy.
"This is a trail, okay. I guess since you're part of the group now and all-"
"Exactly." He smirked, looking at each face opposite him. Brittany looked a little frightened, and Tina just looked indifferent.
Sebastian was about to put a slice of chicken into his mouth when Blaine leaned in to say "Seb, can we switch places?"
"Why?"
"So I can sit next to my boyfriend."
"Oh. Right, yeah that. No." Even if he'd come to appreciate Kurt in a whole new light, it didn't make winding them up any less hilarious. Especially when Kurt looked like he didn't mind whether Sebastian moved over or not.
"Okay, funny." Blaine laughed, starting to pick up his tray ready for Sebastian to slide over. "Move." He didn't.
"You're doing the thing, Sebastian." Kurt leaned to whisper in his ear.
"Fine." He relented, shoving his tray the other way towards Rachel. He stood up and shimmed in-between the two before they could argue back.
"I was talking to Kurt too."
"Sorry, I didn't realise you were directing your rant at anyone in particular." He felt rather than saw the ice cold glare that came from Kurt. "Okay, enough. I'm being nice." He looked at Kurt sideways.
Kurt tilted his head.
"I swear."
"Good." He smiled, fluttering his eyelashes and clasping his hands together. He dropped it after a second, turning more to face Blaine.
Santana joined the table at that moment, her almost empty tray clanking loudly against the wood.
"Why is smirky the circus rat sat in between Berry and Lady Hummel?" She gaped.
"I'm part of your merry little crew now, honey." He answered.
"Um, excuse me?"
"Captain Sweater Vest realised I'm such an asset to your school, he's a visionary, really."
Sebastian could see Kurt biting his lip to stop from laughing. He hated how it he felt pride and affection stem from his chest.
"That still doesn't explain why you're sitting at our table." She glared.
"I don't exactly see a waiting list."
She huffed out through her nose. "Don't you have better places to be? Like back alleys or dumpsters."
"Gotta get in my five a day, right?" He answered, rubbing an apple against his sweater and taking a large bite from it, staring at Santana the whole time.
"Gross." Santana muttered back.
Sebastian laughed before turning his attention way from her and leaning into Kurt's personal space a little bit more. It didn't go unnoticed. "Hey."
"Hi." Kurt replied, it may have just been wishful thinking on Sebastian's part, but he thought he saw Kurt's teeth digging into his lip harder to hold back a smile.
"So I'm still having dreams about those cookies of yours." Sebastian said, it wasn't a lie.
A faint blush coloured Kurt's cheeks as he pretended he hadn't heard the compliment.
"Um, thank you." He muttered.
"What is he talking about Kurt?" Blaine interrupted.
"Hum?" Kurt asked at the same time Sebastian said, "Oh just Kurt's fabulous baked goods. You know, the ones that he made for you that you basically tossed in the trash. I mean, I thought they were incredible, what a keeper. You should hold on to that one."
"Shut up, 'Bastian." Kurt whispered out of the side of his mouth.
"You're calling him ''Bastian' now?" Blaine exclaimed. It was as much of a shock to Sebastian as it was to Blaine apparently, and it definitely shut him up.
Blaine looked rapidly between Sebastian and Kurt as if he wasn't sure who had offended him more. Sebastian winked.
"I- what?" Kurt replied, brow furrowed. Perhaps it took Kurt by surprise too.
"Chill out, killer." Sebastian laughed.
"Oh I bet you'd love that, wouldn't you?" Blaine said, leaning over Kurt.
Kurt squeezed Blaine's leg from under the table, whether as a reassurance or warning he wasn't sure, but it seemed to work as Blaine's posture relaxed.
"I'm just thankful they didn't go to waste." Kurt said a moment later, ignoring Blaine.
"The pleasure was all mine."
Kurt chuckled a little.
"So, how's the, um, project going?" He cleared his throat, he felt lame for asking about schoolwork of all things.
"The what?"
"The project, you know, for class? History class?" He stuttered.
"Oh, right. That." Kurt still looked confused. "I'm almost done, just have to fit in the concluding paragraph and then revise the word count." He said whilst spearing some pasta onto his fork. He paused to chew. "Have you settled on a topic yet?" He teased.
"I have indeed." He nodded proudly.
"And what, dare I ask, did you choose? Brothels from the 18th Century until Present?"
"19th Century." He quipped back.
"Har har." Kurt rolled his eyes.
"No it's-"
"Um, excuse me but what the fuck is going on over here?" Santana called from across the table, interrupting them and gesturing in-between them both.
"What do you mean?" Kurt asked, brows furrowed.
"I mean that you're actually conversing with Sleazy McPosh over there like you're gay besties for life."
"We're just talking." Kurt replied, shaking his head.
"Just talking." She echoed like she was personally offended. "Since when have you 'just talked' with him?"
"Since now, Santana." He replied, lowering his voice a little as if embarrassed. "Can't you just be civil?"
"Snix? Civil? He's the one who almost blinded your sweetie-pie after trying to break you up a hundred times." She protested.
He saw Blaine nodding animatedly by his side.
"Let it go." Kurt dead-panned and Blaine's face whipped to face him, it was comical.
Kurt just raised his eyebrows as if to ask 'what?' and took another bite of his food.
Blaine didn't say anything, his expression giving him a deep frown line on the centre of his forehead. If Sebastian thought the silence was awkward earlier, it certainly was now. He could practically hear Kurt chewing.
No one on that side of the table spoke for the next minute or two, the only sounds were that of the conversations from tables all around the blurring into one and Santana's voice opposite them, ranting about Rachel's choice of sweater and how wasn't she burning to death it's almost summer.
She sighed back as if pitying Santana's lack of fashionable knowledge and despite the fact he'd only seen her out of that uniform maybe once, he was actually on her side. He smiled to himself.
"Okay honey, I've gotta go." Kurt said suddenly, leaning down to kiss Blaine on the cheek.
Sebastian wished he had something worthwhile to say.
"Text me if you finish early?" Blaine asked, eyes still moving rapidly between the two. It sounded somewhere between desperation and a warning. They spoke a lot through their eyes, Sebastian noticed. It was weird.
"Of course." He smiled back, rubbing his back in small circles softly. "Don't kill each other."
Kurt's eyes flitted to Sebastian, who plastered the biggest grin onto his face. Kurt turned on his heel, Santana and Brittany following him out of the room. Sebastian shifted closer to Blaine.
"Hey buddy."
"Hey." Blaine hesitated.
"How are you?" He asked in his most polite tone.
"I'm- I'm fine?" Blaine replied, his brows furrowed.
"That's great." He grinned back.
Blaine stared at him for a moment. "Look, Sebastian, please just leave us alone."
"Excuse me?"
"I just don't think you're good for us." Blaine said, all puppy eyes.
"Us?"
"Are you going to repeat everything I say?" Blaine asked and oh, he was just being condescending now.
"I was actually just going to ask if you wanted to hang out in the courtyard until lunch is over but-"
"And why would I want to do that?" Blaine asked, putting down his fork.
"Hey, hey, you're the one that asked me to get coffee with you and look for records with you and hang out with you when I first transferred so don't you dare." Sebastian said.
"That was different." Blaine argued.
"How?"
"It just was, okay?"
"Not reall-" Sebastian started.
"I think you should leave." Rachel butted in from Sebastian's other side, he'd forgotten she was there.
"Yeah, I think you should too." Sebastian turned his smile up his smile.
"Um, she meant you, dumbass."
"Well, I'm not the one with the problem here."
"No, but you are the one causing it, so fuck off." Blaine shot back, losing his temper.
"Okay, I get it, I'm gone." Sebastian replied, pushing off the table a little harder than necessary, leaving his tray there.
He wandered outside where there were less people and found himself walking out towards the practice fields. Maybe if he was lucky he might stumble upon another glorious Cheerio's practice session. It turned out, as he rounded the corner, he was very much in luck.
.+.
Sebastian couldn't deny that he was nervous when the bell rang to signal the end of classes. He looked over to where Kurt and Rachel were putting their books into their bags to find Kurt staring back. He smirked, causing Kurt to look away quickly, rolling his eyes.
"Mind if I walk with you?" He asked as the walked past him into the hallway.
"Yes." Rachel interjected.
"Cool." He smiled, falling in step with the two of them.
He ignored Rachel's protests to Kurt and so did he. After the rounded the corner in silence Sebastian added, "I'm excited, are you excited?"
"Not really. It's just a rehearsal, nothing special."
"Every moment counts, Kurt." Rachel pointed at him.
"Easy to say when you get every solo." His face was relaxed though he picked up a little bitterness in his tone.
"We can do a duet next week if you want?"
"Sure. I mean, depending whatever half decent theme we get. And I get to choose."
"Fair enough." She linked her arm through his as they reached the choir room.
Today was just a rough sketch of the number they'd perform on tomorrow. Sebastian didn't know why, it wasn't like they ever performed for anyone outside competitions - except that time they had a Michael-off in a parking lot, he remembered fondly - and nationals still seemed months away.
He felt even more nauseous now knowing he'd have to participate in whatever they were doing knowing full well he'd insulted each and every one of them whether to their face or not. He stepped through the door behind Kurt and Rachel and watched as they took their regular seats, Rachel ducking down to peck Finn's cheek before she sat.
He stayed there, swaying a little on his feet and scratching the side of his neck whilst he calculated the best place to sit. Mr Schue tapped him on the shoulder then, walking by him and into the centre of the room.
"Welcome, Sebastian. Sit anywhere you like."
"O-kay." He said, shifting his weight from foot to foot as he surveyed the room once more, most of them were avoiding his eye, Kurt was not.
There was a couple of spare seats next to Rachel on the row behind where Kurt and Blaine were sat, so he headed over, navigating his way awkwardly past and almost hitting Kurt in the face with his bag. Oops. Nobody said anything for a few moments, he guessed they didn't get newbies very often, much less ones that they already hated.
Mr Schue clapped his hands together, a trait that Sebastian was already finding incredibly frustrating, along with the uncomfortable red plastic chairs that were no match for Dalton's couches, and the rattling of the air conditioning to his right.
It turned out that they'd already rehearsed this song a few times, so they had most of the choreography down by now. Sebastian was told to watch and pick up bits that when he could and it didn't take him long to notice that there was definitely a strong dynamic set in, he felt lost.
As he watched them run through the beat and doing vocal run, he smiled to himself before he could help it. He smiled because even though it constantly felt like he was intruding on a private family moment, it was a family anyone would want to be a part of. He felt a little sick just thinking that.
It was easy to tease and mock at coffee shops or in cafeterias but there was something about the choir room that made you want to be honest, bare your creative soul. He got the feeling this room contained a lot of history.
Rehearsal had only started half an hour ago and already Sebastian could feel himself changing, which was ridiculous. But he felt softer, warmer as he watched them match the beats of the songs to the moves of the dance to the switching of the singer. It was the opposite of the boredom, hatred and agitation he'd felt whilst watching Warbler upon Warbler join them on stage to sing Michael Jackson.
Not soon after, they moved across to the auditorium. As they gathered on stage, he looked ahead to the masses of empty seats, only Mr Schue sat in the centre behind his desk, the rest of the seats darkened under the stage lights.
Things were running smoothly until around the third stanza of the song, when he had a momentary lapse in concentration. To his left, Mercedes was stepping forward to sing the next line of the song, to his right, Tina and Artie were laughing at each other. For a fleeting moment he even thought it was cute, but then Tina almost lost her balance and fell over his wheelchair head first. Sebastian laughed quietly and moved to face forward. He stepped to the left, and fell face first over Kurt.
"Fuck, ow." Kurt grabbed his leg and looked to where Sebastian was now sprawled ungracefully on the floor.
A few people had stopped dancing to find out what was going on.
"You totally did that on purpose. I knew this would happen." Rachel started, pointing her finger.
"I did not." He protested, rubbing at his elbow where it had hit the floor hard.
A few others threw cold and accusing glares in his direction.
"I swear, I didn't." He added, putting his hands up in surrender.
"It's fine, guys. It was an accident." Kurt sighed, straightening his posture before offering Sebastian a hand.
Sebastian stared at it for a few moments before accepting it cautiously. Kurt rolled his eyes and pulled him up and maybe Sebastian held on for a little longer than acceptable. Blaine certainly thought so. He was stood within breathing distance of Kurt, their hands still clasped, and Sebastian was certain that it wasn't just the abrupt ascent back to two legs that had left him breathless.
Blaine coughed loudly. He seemed to be attempting a threatening glare that came off more as 'sulking child' and squinted his eyes towards Sebastian, who didn't look remotely terrified.
Then Kurt started laughing, dropping Sebastian's hand and taking two long steps backwards to place a hand on Blaine's shoulder, squeezing it lightly. He whispered something into his ear and the shoulder under Kurt's grip relaxed.
"You okay, Kurt?" Mr Schue shouted above the other voices.
"Perfect." He smiled back.
"I'm fine, thanks for asking." Sebastian added.
"Okay, from Rachel's line. 1, 2, 3, 4." He counted.
Blaine continued to glare at Sebastian for the rest of the chorus, he could see Kurt gritting his teeth. So possessiveness must be a turn off, then, he thought to himself. Or maybe that's just unjustified over-protectiveness.
Either way, Blaine only made it halfway through the bridge before he seemed to forget it was his line and he full on turned on Sebastian, crowding into his personal space.
"Will you fucking stop!"
"What?"
"Blaine." Schue said sternly.
"Babe." Kurt called.
"No, I've had enough."
"What are you getting so worked up about?" Kurt placed a hand on Blaine's shoulder and tried to lightly pull him away from Sebastian.
"Just leave me, Kurt." He pulled away.
"Blaine, you're making a scene." Kurt whispered, embarrassed to be the centre of attention when Blaine was reacting like this.
"Whatever, I'm out." Blaine said, throwing his arms up in the air and storming out, leaving half the group with open mouths and a heavy sigh from Kurt.
"Drama queen." Santana muttered.
"Not now, 'Tana." Kurt said, rubbing his hand across his forehead.
"Aren't you going to go after him?" Rachel asked.
"No, Rach. I'm not." He paused, looking up to Sebastian. "Can we carry on then?"
"Well, we were kinda on Blaine's part."
"Sebastian." Schue called from across the stage. "Wanna fill in?"
"I-" He said, breaking the eye contact.
"Go on."
"Okay then, I guess."
"Don't worry, we'll help you through it." Schue said, then sat back in his chair.
For the first time, Sebastian actually felt somewhat nervous now stood centre stage, watching by people he was intent on destroying not two months ago.
"Places everybody. Okay, 5, 6, 7, 8." He counted.
The band played a few beats and Santana picked up from the beginning of the chorus, he was having a hard time figuring out which way to move, which he blamed entirely on being moved three places to the left and totally not on Kurt who was now stood directly in front of him.
Wearing tight jeans and really nice white boots, actually. Focus.
Kurt stepped around him in order for him to come to the front and ended up directly behind him. Like, really close. Breathe.
He managed all of his two lines without majorly fucking up again and counted that as a small victory and by the time Mr Schue was saying "Great job, guys. See you tomorrow", Sebastian realised he'd made it through an entire Glee Club rehearsal without ever once wanting to bolt.
The club filed out of the room in a jumble or muttered tones and laughter until Sebastian was the only one left. He looked above to the stage light then out into the audience before he exited out of the opposite door.
He was en-route to his locker when he found Blaine waiting for him in the hallway outside.
"What kind of game are you playing? Because it's not funny." Blaine called as he followed Sebastian around the corner.
"Me, I'm not doing anything. I'm cotton candy nice now, remember?" Sebastian said without looking past his locker door.
"Leave him alone."
"Who?"
"You know who."
"Don't you think that's something he ought to be telling me himself?" Sebastian asked, running his fingers through his hair and fixing it with product from inside his locker.
"Kurt doesn't know what's best for him."
"And you do?" Sebastian shot an incredulous glance sideways.
"I- no- yes. I love him, Sebastian."
"You've hurt him enough."
"He can stand his own ground." He felt something akin to second hand offence and anger flare up inside him.
"You don't know what he's been through." He said, throwing his arms up dramatically.
"Well he seems more than capable of giving back as good as he gets from what I can see." He answered, regrettably giving Blaine his full attention.
"I'm onto you, Smythe." Blaine said.
"Onto what?" He smiled innocently, now completely done with this conversation..
"I mean it, I'm watching you." Blaine stepped forward.
"Then watch my fine ass, as it walks away from this conversation." He replied before slamming his locker shut and startling Blaine. He winked and walked around him, he didn't look back but he knew Blaine had turned around to watch him.