Sebastian didn't sit with them at lunch the next day, or the next. But on Friday, he did.
Mainly he was trying to avoid Blaine and his over-reactions. He was done with his drama. Everywhere he went it seemed as though Blaine was there, burning holes into the back of his head with his oversized puppy dog eyes.
He didn't speak to Kurt much either, though whether Kurt was avoiding him or Blaine was forcing him to, or whether it was just a cruel coincidence, he didn't know. He even checked their usual afterschool hangouts - the park and the Lima Bean - but he had no luck.
Their hangouts.
He hated how much he missed him.
And didn't realise up until that moment how often they'd been hanging out before this. They saw each other almost every other day and always spent a decent amount of time talking about anything and everything. A decreasingly large amount of time was being dedicated to throwing each other insults, and Blaine was hardly ever there. In fact, he'd only seen him outside of school once the entire time.
He also realised that outside of Kurt, not many other people spoke to him, and he couldn't call anyone else his friend. He thought he should've been more upset or angry about this realisation – he had always been the centre of attention, everywhere he went, after all - but it just made him long for Kurt's company even more.
He couldn't remember the last time he enjoying just spending time with someone that much, at least since his brother lived at home. He made a mental note to give Matthew a call.
So after choosing whichever meal looked the least likely to give him food poisoning, he bit his lip and took a deep breath and wandered over slowly to the New Directions table in the corner. He placed his tray on the edge of the table, waiting for a moment until Finn nodded kindly at him before taking a seat.
"How's it goin' man?" Finn asked as he dunked several chips into a pile of ketchup.
The sincerity of Finn's tone surprised him and he found himself not being able to answer for a moment.
"It's going well, how- how are you?"
"I'm a-okay."
Sebastian smiled then, genuinely. He looked over at Finn, who was looking at Rachel, his eyes sparkling and doing his best to hold back a dopey grin whilst trying to chew a large slice of pie. He looked so at ease, so happy, Sebastian envied it. He'd never felt comfortable enough in a school environment to just be himself. He'd rather everyone believe he was a stone cold asshole than know the truth.
Everyone loved Finn, why wouldn't they? He had the kindest, loyalist, biggest heart, he was a natural leader who inspired and comforted without being told twice. He always put others before himself and he never asked for anything in return. Sebastian wished he was more like Finn, he was respected and admired without saying a bad word to anybody.
Even assholes like Sebastian who more than likely deserved it.
Finn turned his attention towards Rachel, the pair sending each other literal heart eyes, and Sebastian reached for his chips.
Sebastian hadn't been the sort of person who thought in depth about character development for long periods of time until he came to McKinley, but more and more often he found himself envying those around him, mainly the New Directions, and questioning why.
He poked at his food some more and hardly noticed when a tray was set down on the other side of him.
"Hey." Kurt said, startling Sebastian.
"Hi." He blinked, turning to smile at Kurt.
"Nice to have you back on Earth." He joked, smiling somewhat fondly.
"I was totally zoned out."
"Tell me about it, I've been trying to get your attention for the past two minutes." Kurt laughed.
"Oh, you have now. And why would that be?" Sebastian smirked.
"I need a reason now?"
"Maybe." Sebastian shrugged.
Kurt pursed his lips. "Fine. I will take my friendship elsewhere. To someone who actually appreciates it."
Sebastian tried to hold back his smile. "So you admit that we're friends?" He teased.
"Why is everyone so obsessed with labels at this school?" Kurt sighed dramatically.
Sebastian broke into laughter. "Beats me."
"So, how are you?" Kurt asked, leaning slightly close to Sebastian.
"I'd be feeling much better if this food was actually edible." He replied, poking the cafeteria food with a frown etched on his face as if to prove his point.
"It's a good job I brought you some more cookies then, right?" Kurt said smugly, reaching into his bag to retrieve the Tupperware box.
"You're an actual angel." Sebastian said, his whole face lighting up.
"I try." Kurt said, opening the box and pushing it towards Sebastian. "You'll want to eat them before Finn sees them, otherwise you have no chance."
"What?" Finn asked, confused.
"Oh nothing." Kurt smiled, moving quickly to hide the cookies from Finn's view.
"Cool." He turned back to Rachel without a second thought.
Sebastian laughed as Kurt slowly and dramatically brought the cookies back onto the table. He looked to the left and right as if in a pantomime before opening the lid and broaching it in Sebastian's direction. He gingerly grabbed a cookie from the top of the box and took a bite. His eyes slipped closed as he chewed and he attempted to thank Kurt with his mouth still half full. Kurt was blushing.
"You've got to give me the recipe for these."
"Never."
"Oh come on," he pouted, "don't you trust me?"
"Absolutely not." He grinned with total sincerity.
"Ouch. That hurts." He was certain he hadn't managed an ounce of actual offense.
Kurt grinned slyly and opened his mouth to reply when Blaine tapped him on the shoulder and leaned down to peck his cheek.
"Hey, sweetie." Kurt cooed, turning to face away from Sebastian to greet his boyfriend.
"Oh here we go." Sebastian muttered into Kurt's other ear.
"Play nice." Kurt uttered out of the side of his mouth.
Blaine glared at him. Sebastian rolled his eyes.
"Pathetic." He mouthed with Kurt's back still turned.
"Asshole." Blaine mouthed back.
"Blaine!" Kurt scolded.
Sebastian had never looked so smug. Kurt turned to apologize to Sebastian who had wiped the smile off his face and attempted to look hurt. Blaine scoffed, slamming his tray down on the table.
Kurt turned back to Blaine, his eyes wide with questions and Sebastian took the opportunity to mime the most ridiculous frown complete with tears wiped from his eyes. Blaine looked like he was about to lose it completely but then he just stopped.
The anger drained from Blaine's face, his shoulders relaxed and he loosened the grip on his fork. He broke eye contact with Sebastian and it was like all he could see was Kurt. They were clearly having some kind of intense conversation without actually saying anything. It freaked Sebastian out.
He continued to watch them interact for a few moments, mainly because it pissed off Blaine so much, but also because it was impossible for him not to notice how Kurt's eyes kept flicking elsewhere, even towards Sebastian a couple of times. And how his smile dropped whenever Blaine looked away. He noticed how Kurt seemed reserved, sat a little straighter, smiled a little tighter. And how Blaine couldn't stop fidgeting and running his hand across his gelled helmet hair, straightening his bowtie ten too many times.
Sebastian considering being that asshole and interrupting whatever rough patch they were trying to cover up at the moment, but figured he couldn't do it. Not now that Kurt was sort of his- friend.
He quietly ate a couple more chips, pretending to scroll through his phone before he stood up, taking his barely touched tray across the hall and walking out onto the courtyard.
Sebastian watched Kurt and Blaine with more interest that afternoon at rehearsals, as if every little micro action was somehow of the greatest importance. He wondered at what point it could be considered creepy, and if he'd already crossed that line.
It seemed that all he did lately was watch Kurt. But it wasn't as if there was anything else remotely interesting happening.
Rachel Berry got the solo of the week once more to the surprise of a grand total of zero people, and Will Schuster's song choice was a mix between ancient history and borderline inappropriate also to the surprise of absolutely no one.
It was on the way out of the parking lot that Sebastian noticed Kurt, standing around three steps from the other students at the bus stop of all places. Sebastian laughed to himself before taking a detour and pulling up beside Kurt.
"Need a ride?" Sebastian asked, leaning over to stick his head out of the passenger side window.
"I'd rather take the bus." Kurt smile sweetly.
"Would you really?"
Kurt glanced towards the approaching yellow bus with a look of distaste.
"Oh come on, friends are supposed to give friends in need help, right?" He continued when Kurt still hadn't moved.
Kurt looked down at Sebastian.
"Let me drive you home." Sebastian insisted, leaning across the passenger seat and pushing open the door.
Kurt sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose before climbing into the car.
"Buckle up."
"Don't make me regret this." Kurt said, but reached behind him and pulled the seatbelt across his waist anyway.
"Safety first."
"Whatever."
"Look on the bright side, at least you're not stuck for god knows how long on a sweaty bus full of losers."
"No, just stuck with one loser." Kurt quipped back.
"Ouch." He paused. "So where's your car? I assume you weren't willingly taking public transport home."
"In my dad's shop. Slow puncture." Kurt explained, sighing as if it was just his luck.
"You know what that is don't you?" Sebastian smirked.
"A tiny hole that drains the air from the tyres..."
"Karma." Sebastian winked.
"You. You didn't?" Kurt's entire face paled and his mouth dropped open.
"Didn't what?"
"Don't you play dumb with me. You totally busted my tyre, you asshole." Sebastian wasn't sure whether he was aiming for angry when it came out so fond.
"I did no such thing." Sebastian protested, clutching his hand to his chest. "What kind of person do you think I am?"
"I think you're exactly the kind of person that pokes holes in the tyres of unsuspecting innocents." Kurt pointed his finger at Sebastian.
And Sebastian realised how close they were sitting. He wondered if Kurt had noticed too. He focused his eyes back on the road.
"You were not innocent, you dented my door!"
"So you admit you did sabotage my car?" Kurt narrowed his eyes.
"Prove it." Sebastian glanced back at Kurt, leaning in closer.
"You just told me-"
"All I said was that you dented my door. Which you did."
"But-"
"My father is an attorney, do you really wanna open this door?" It works every time.
Kurt stared at him with a look in between frustration and fondness. So close. Sebastian stared back. Kurt licked his lips. Sebastian blinked.
"Just drive me home." Kurt sighed, leaning back in his chair and switching the channel on the radio.
"Your wish is my command." He said, pulling the stick into gear.
They drove in silence for a while when they started to reach the quieter parts of town and Sebastian realised he didn't actually know where he was going and he didn't know how to ask, either. He figured they must live kind of close, since they both frequented the same park, so he just drove in the direction he normally would home.
"Um-"
"You're going the right way." Kurt said before Sebastian even got the chance to finish his question. "Keep going straight for a few more blocks then left."
They fell into silence once again. The song changed in the background, Sebastian didn't know what it was. Around mid-way through he noticed that Kurt was singing along under his breath and he strained in an attempt to hear his voice.
"Next left." Kurt said.
Sebastian was so focused on trying to hear Kurt's singing that he completely missed the turning when he did speak.
"If you did that on purpose I swear-"
"I didn't." He said as tried to find a spot to turn around in.
A few moments later Kurt told him to pull over outside a decent sized (by Sebastian's standards) detached house with two cars in the driveway and one in the garage. The exterior was painted in a pastel blue and had large sash windows and a veranda that stretched the length of the front of the house.
"Is that your house?" Sebastian asked.
"If I answer that will you proceed to tell me how poor I am?"
"No." Maybe a month ago he would, but now he really just wanted to see the inside of Kurt's house.
"You hesitated." Sebastian raised an eyebrow. "Fine, yes that's my house."
"It looks, homely."
Now it was Kurt's turn to raise his eyebrows. "Thanks, I guess."
Sebastian just smiled in return. Kurt picked up his satchel and reached for the door handle. He leaned back into the car to say, "I'll see you tomorrow." Before shutting the door and hurrying inside. Sebastian wanted to ask him if he was going to the Lima Bean later that evening, but it sounded to suspiciously like a date, so he held his tongue and watched as Kurt fumbled for his key.
.+.
The following Thursday was the regional baseball game against McKinley's rival school. It wasn't bad enough that one of the buses had broken down ten minutes before departure time, forcing the Cheerio's and the baseball team to double up on some of their seats but on top of that, somehow Kurt ended up squashed in between the bus window and Sebastian for a three and a half hour ride on his way to cheer them on.
Kurt sighed heavily as he fell into his seat, his earphones already firmly planted in his eyes, praying silently that he could be spared and wouldn't have to share the space with anyone.
Apparently the universe was feeling extra cruel as Sebastian made his way towards the back of the bus.
"No." Kurt protested, pulling his earphone out of one ear as Sebastian approached.
"But-"
"No."
"C'mon-" Sebastian moved to sit down.
"No."
"Wait-"
"Move." Kurt repeatedly cut off Sebastian's attempts to argue.
"Alright." Sebastian replied, sighing and moving to the edge of his seat to stand up.
"Thank you." Kurt muttered, throwing his bag onto the other seat and looking out of the window to end the conversation.
Sebastian rolled his eyes and turned to look down the bus for another seat. The doors closed and the engine roared into ignition and several pairs of eyes from the rest of the team were on him and he realised that the only available seat was in fact, next to Kurt.
Sebastian closed his eyes slowly and breathed out hard through his nose, he placed his hand on the back of Kurt's headrest and turned towards him.
"Sorry kiddo, only seat in the house." He tried to muster up as much fake sincerity as possible.
"You've got to be kidding me." Kurt replied.
Sebastian just shrugged. Kurt dropped his shoulders and reluctantly moved his bag aside so that Sebastian could sit down. The bus rolled its way towards the freeway then, and the atmosphere settled into muffled laughter and cheerful speculation of tonight's events.
Kurt kept his focus on the view outside the window, despite the fact that at this point it was merely rolling hay fields with the occasional cow in the distance.
Sebastian shifted uncomfortably in his seat, fidgeting with his hands constantly.
"Would you just sit still please?"
"Oh sorry, am I bothering you?" He asked with the same fake sincerity from earlier, a smile teased at the corner of his lips.
"Like you're not doing this on purpose."
"I'm not."
"Well, whatever, just stop. Please." Kurt sighed, plugging his earphones back into his ears and turning up the volume a few more knots.
Sebastian sighed loudly and sat back heavily in his seat for dramatic effect, but Kurt continued to ignore him. They made it another painful fifteen minutes of silence before Kurt pulled out one earphone and turned to Sebastian to utter;
"Your leg is touching my leg and I'd like it to stop."
"Actually I think it's your leg that is touching mine."
Kurt rolled his eyes. "Don't be an ass." He said, knocking Sebastian's knee with his own.
"Come on, I thought we were getting along really well." Sebastian pouted.
Kurt laughed.
"Hey once you've shared homemade cookies with someone in a park, you're bonded for life." Sebastian smiled.
"Did you seriously just say that?" Kurt scoffed, closing his eyes and shaking his head.
"What? That kind of experience changes a person." Sebastian continued.
"You're ridiculous." Kurt replied, though he was smiling for real now.
"Anything to put that smile on your face."
Kurt's smile immediately faltered and he blinked twice.
"I- I mean you've just looked so fucking miserable lately and-"
"Like you give a shit." Kurt laughed, facing the window once more, blushing to the tips of his ears.
"I do." He replied quickly.
"Whatever." Kurt directed at the window again.
Sebastian steeled himself and took a deep breath. "Just- you know. I'm- I'm here if you need to you know, talk or whatever, you know?" He stumbled over his words, trying to make his tone casual and shrugging his shoulders even though he knew Kurt couldn't see him.
In the reflection of the window Sebastian could see Kurt was smiling again, it looked sweet and touched.
"I'm fine for now, Sebastian." He replied, his tone was soft, not at all like Sebastian had imagined.
Kurt lifted his hands to replace his earphones which Sebastian hadn't realised he had completely removed at some point.
Sebastian divided his time between humming quietly to himself, staring at Kurt out of the corner of his eye and drawing patterns on the fabric of the seat in front of him. After he glanced at his watch only to find out they were less than halfway into the journey, he turned to Kurt again, nudging his shoulder.
"So you're coming along to cheer me on then? That's really kinda sweet of you."
"What other reason would I be on this bus, in this uniform for? And it's not for you. God knows why a baseball team even needs cheerleaders."
"I think it was Coach Sylvester's idea."
"Probably, that wouldn't shock me in the slightest actually."
"Yeah. But hey, look on the bright side, at least you're not sat next to an asshole for the next hour and a half."
Kurt opened his mouth as if to protest when Sebastian's smile widened.
"You think you're so funny, don't you?"
"Are you saying that I'm not?"
Kurt looked him up and down slowly before replying. "You- have your moments."
Sebastian beamed like it was the greatest compliment he'd ever received but that was the end of the conversation.
It took another half an hour of Sebastian mindlessly scrolling through his phone and reading updates from acquaintances he really could not care less about before he tried again.
He leaned over his seat into Kurt's space and asked, "so how are you?" Dragging out the 'so'.
"How am I? I'm o-kay?"
"That's great to hear, I'm feeling fine too."
"Nervous for your first big game?"
"Are you kidding?"
"Oh right yea, sorry. I forgot who I was talking to. You're totally out of these guy's league and it's going to be a walk in the park, right?"
"No. They are just a really shitty team, I played them at Dalton last semester, they don't take anything seriously."
"Oh and you do?"
Sebastian chewed his bottom lip to keep from laughing, knowing that less than a month ago there is no way he would have found that adorable.
"When it comes to baseball, there is nothing I am more serious about." He deadpanned.
"Yeah, right. Because baseball was totally your first choice."
"It's not a bad second choice."
"I'm just finding it hard to believe you're actually making this much effort in your time at 'public school' and not sulking in the corner of the courtyard."
"Sulking got boring."
"Not the Smythe way, eh?"
"Definitely not." He smirked.
"Well it only took what? A month?"
"Gimme a break, I'm sure it would take you longer than that to get over a break up."
"I haven't been through a break up." Kurt reminded him.
"I'm talking in hypotheticals." Sebastian teased.
"Blaine and I are fine." Kurt rolled his eyes.
"I never said you weren't."
"You implied. It's not even a comparable situation."
"Touchy, touchy."
"No, not touchy. I just don't want to talk about Blaine with you."
"Then what do you want to talk about." Sebastian angled himself a little closer to Kurt.
"I don't want to talk about anything with you."
"Oh come on." Sebastian huffed dramatically, "you love spending time with me."
Kurt scoffed and turned away, unanswering.
"I'm right and you know it."
Kurt shook his head minutely.
"Come on, admit it."
"Admit what? That you're actually not as much of a dick as you like to lead people to believe? That hey, sometimes you're actually kinda funny and really really smart and you have a curiosity that goes beyond that pretty face?
Or that half the time I act like you're constantly pissing me off I'm holding out for your every word because you're the only person I talk to that remotely gets me anymore? The other half of the time you actually just are pissing me off." He laughed quietly. "Or that you have this whole personality and depth that I'm desperate to explore and that even though you shrug it off you actually do care what people think about you, and you do care about other people. You care a lot. And that I like that?" Kurt rambled, turning to face Sebastian, their faces close.
Sebastian blinked. "You-"
Kurt swallowed hard and turned away. Sebastian wanted desperately to say something but he had no clue where to start. He opened and closed his mouth several times as Kurt's face reddened and he turned away a final time. Sebastian let him.
Sebastian knew that it would snow on the hills of hell before Kurt would admit his feelings to Sebastian, about Sebastian so easily, whilst sober, so warning bells were going off very loudly in Sebastian's head. Time seemed to slow down as he spent the rest of the bus ride trying to think of a way, any way to break the awkwardness between them, hyperaware of every little movement Kurt made.
The bus pulled up soon after, Kurt sighing thankfully and Sebastian breathing again once he was out of the crowded stuffy air of the bus. And it hit Sebastian, there it was again, just how exhausted Kurt looked. He bit his tongue to prevent from saying anything and let Kurt walk off the bus, not stopping to wait for him.
The game goes exactly as expected, par one small hiccup.
Sebastian did his part, Kurt did his and the McKinley baseball team secured their place at Nationals by a milestone. Celebrations all around. Sebastian stared at Kurt from the other side of the field at every chance he got only to find Kurt staring right back. Sebastian narrowly managed to avoid being hit in the face with a swinging baseball bat as a result. Kurt laughed so much he fell off his seat. Sebastian narrowed his eyes and hit a home run just to show off. Kurt tipped his imaginary hat to him. Sebastian counted it as a victory.
Half time seemed to drag and go all too fast simultaneously. The baseball pitch could have been filled to the brim with cheerleaders and still Kurt would have been the only one he'd seen. It sounded cliché to say but from the moment he walked onto the pitch everything else blurred into the background.
It was like that moment in American Beauty where the super creepy dad watches his daughters best friend dance seductively whilst rose petals float everywhere in the background - except Sebastian wasn't creepy, or a father. And there were no rose petals.
The opposing team may as well have called the game before half time because the second half was just embarrassing for everyone involved. The team pile back onto the bus in high spirits, clapping each other on the shoulder a little too frequently and a little too hard.
Kurt was earphone free and smiling wide as he waited for Sebastian to take his seat back on the bus again, no protesting bag in sight. Sebastian can't deny that he was totally shocked given the borderline confession he'd blurted out not two hours ago.
"Hey you." Kurt greeted warmly. "Great game."
"Thanks." Sebastian returned the smile, shaking his bag off his shoulder and sitting down.
"I mean, you were right - they really were a shitty team. But you still played great."
"I'll take that as a compliment." Sebastian smiled.
The bus vibrated into ignition and the coach walked swiftly up and down the aisle to get a headcount before they pulled away back towards Lima.
Sebastian debated for an entire ten minutes whether to say anything about Kurt's improved mood. He didn't know whether to mention it directly, whether to address it seriously or joke it off.
"You're in a better mood."
Kurt pursed his lips, probably trying to decide between taking offense and seeing the humour. Unfortunately his answer didn't really help to clarify where they stood.
"Thanks." No smile, no intonation and no eye contact.
"Great cheering, also by the way. You're the best one out there."
"Cute." Kurt said, smiling from the side of his mouth.
"I'm serious."
"It's hard to tell if anything you ever say is serious." Kurt retorted.
"Okay well, I'm seriously serious now." Sebastian teased.
"Yeah well, forgive me for not believing you."
"I'll just have to prove it then."
"Sebastian Smythe are you flirting with me?" Kurt said, his lips pursed and eyebrows raised. He didn't look offended or disgusted, in fact, he seemed to be flirting back. Not that he was flirting.
"What- no? Me? Never. No way. No. Absolutely not." He stumbled over his words.
Kurt threw him a look that suggested he didn't buy a word.
"I'd think twice about that. You know Blaine will totally kick your ass?"
"Oh now that is just low. That may actually be the most insulting thing you've ever said to me. How could you? I trusted you. Don't insult me like that."
Kurt burst into laughter. "It is way too easy to push your buttons these days."
"Is not." Sebastian struggled to hold his frown.
"Is too." Kurt smiled wider.
"Is not." A smile cracked at the corners of his mouth.
"You're such a child." Kurt rolled his eyes.
"You started it." His smile was wider than Kurt's.
"Please God end this journey now." Kurt spoke upwards in mock frustration.
And just like that about half an hour into the journey they was a really loud, really unpleasant clunking noise, followed by a crash, decreasing speed and a string of profanity from the bus driver.
It took less than two seconds for Kurt to figure out what was going on as the bus crawled to a complete stop. He knocked his head back against the headrest forcefully and sighed.
Sebastian watched as the driver and Coach Beiste left the bus to inspect the cause of the problem. The rest of the bus were a mixture of annoyed, confused and sleepy.
"What? What is it?" Sebastian asked.
"From the sounds of it, the battery is kaput." Kurt answered, rolling his head on the headrest to face Sebastian.
"How would you know?"
"How don't you know?"
"Touché." Sebastian smiled. "If you know what's wrong can't you go and fix it?"
"Sure thing. Do you happen to know where we can find any brand spanking new batteries at 11pm on a Thursday night?" Sebastian's smile dropped. "Didn't think so."
Sebastian threw his head back against the headrest too. Kurt laughed.
"I guess they could try jump starting it." Kurt muttered.
Sebastian looked to Kurt and then towards the front of the bus then back to Kurt.
"Well go on then." Sebastian urged Kurt with a prod to the shoulder.
Kurt sighed dramatically but pulled himself up and off the bus.
No more than five minutes later half the baseball team and a few of the Cheerio's were gathered around the bus attempting to kick start it into ignition. Sebastian had refused to even get off the bus until Kurt had practically dragged him, complaining that "the weight of his ego was weighing the bus down too much for them to have any chance of restarting the engine".
Sebastian flipped him his middle finger in response. Kurt grabbed his hand and pulled him off the bus by force.
They tried a whole bunch of times to roll the bus down the road before finally admitting defeat. On the third try there was the smallest spark of power before it cut out with an even bigger spark and a pop.
After the fourth try Sebastian decided it would be more productive if he just sat on the roadside and laughed at how hard Kurt was trying. As well as admiring the view of his ass in the Cheerio's uniform of course.
After one last attempt Coach Beiste loaded everyone back onto the bus whilst they decided what to do next.
"Alright ladies, this is the situation. We got one dead battery, a hundred mile stretch of road with no open shops and a motel about half a mile in that direction."
The bus broke out into a series of inaudible complaints.
"Look, nobody likes this but this is how it is. You can call your parents, your friends, whoever and if they are willing to come pick you up, outstanding, great. If not, you gotta stay at the motel for the night. Sorry."
There were more inaudible complaints. The group dispersed towards various sections of the road to make their calls. Sebastian reached for his phone and walked a few paces towards the edge of the darkened trees and called his father.
Ten minutes later when everyone had found out their fate for the night, Sebastian walked over to the side of the bus Kurt was leaning against.
"What's the verdict?" Sebastian asked.
"No answer. Not that I was expecting one. Dad and Carol are in DC for the weekend and Finn is out with Rachel. I'm stuck."
"Shit."
Kurt pursed his lips and nodded in an 'I'm totally fed up' gesture.
"So what about you?"
"Maman is over in France for an old friend's wedding and my father laughed down the phone for five straight minutes then refused to come pick me up on the excuse that he has and I quote 'drank far too much wine'."
"Guess we're both stuck here then." Kurt said with over the top enthusiasm.
"It would seem so." He paused. "You know this whole thing is your fault, right?"
"How do you figure?"
"You practically prayed for this, I heard you. 'Please God let this journey end now'."
Kurt snorted. "Is that supposed to be an impression of me?"
"I thought it was pretty spot on if I can say so myself."
"Dork."
"Nerd."
Ten minutes later, a list of all the stranded souls was done and Coach Beiste began to lead everyone not lucky enough to go home to their own beds that night towards the motel.
Sebastian didn't know if it was the lingering tension, or the late hour or maybe just stress, but the walk felt so much longer than half a mile.
"Want me to give you a piggy back?" Kurt teased.
"I'm fine."
"I can carry a bag for you if it will help?"
"Still good."
"Your choice." Sebastian huffed.
Kurt quickened his pace.
Soon after they arrived at the motel and Sebastian had never been so relieved to see a dirty, run down bunch of rooms in his life. And he spent most weeknights at Scandals.
"Are you boys okay sharin'? Whole place is totally booked up and most guys are having to double up with it being so last minute and all." Coach Beiste asked when they reached their turn in the queue.
"No-" Kurt began to argue.
"Yea-" Sebastian said simultaneously.
"Absolutely not."
"Sure."
Coach Beiste laughed. "I'm sorry. I wasn't really asking. Here are your keys."
She dropped the keys into Kurt's hand and closed his fingers around them, tapping them twice before walking away, presumably to her own room.
The motel itself was quite large, considering that it was in the middle of a dusty, forgotten highway somewhere in Ohio. There were three stories of rooms, each with the same dark green door and one window to the right. Over half of the windows lacked curtains and most of the numbers on the doors were hanging off.
Their room was on the ground floor across the parking lot. There were a few cars scattered around, mainly old vintage cars – but not the good kind of vintage, more the neglected and rusty old cars that don't get the love and attention they deserve. Kurt thought it was sad.
On their way they passed a shady looking man with his hood pulled up and his phone tight to his ear. He was whispering but it was obvious he was frustrated. Though that could have been because he'd been shoving the same quarter into the vending machine around a dozen times to no avail. Kurt and Sebastian exchanged a silent look as they walked.
When they finally reached the door they paused. Kurt took a deep breath, expecting the worst.
"Here we are, room 47." Sebastian said as he slide the key in the lock and turned, pushing the door open slowly.
The room was what was to be expected from a motel in the middle of nowhere.
It was damp and dark and run down. The wallpaper was faded and browning and peeling at the corners. He didn't think it had been redecorated in at least fifteen years. Or even cleaned in that time.
There were two beds in the centre of the room, although it may as well have been just the one given the six inches that was barely separating them. They were covered in bright floral mismatching duvet covers that stood out harshly against the bleak tone of the room.
Towards the back of the room there was a bathroom with a door that didn't shut properly, and to the left just by the door there was a small kitchen unit in which there were a bunch of twenty year old tins of soup and one really mouldy piece of bread.
Kurt walked into the room first and sat on the bed furthest from the door. Sebastian was certain he heard a spring snap from across the room.
"What a dump." Kurt said, his nose turned up.
"You can say that again."
"What a dump." Kurt repeated, standing up.
Sebastian burst into laughter.
Kurt paused mid step and turned halfway to face Sebastian, the hint of a smile on his lips. "What?"
"Nothing, nothing."
Kurt was content to let it go and continued on his journey around the small, cramped room. Sebastian's gaze followed him from the doorway.
Kurt didn't dare touch anything and Sebastian couldn't blame him. The whole place reeked of hygiene issues wall to wall and there was a layer of dust coating everything in sight thicker than all the product holding up Kurt's hair.
When Kurt got to the bathroom, Sebastian reluctantly closed the door, placing his bag by the other bed and sitting down, wary of the springs. The mattress was indeed harder than a rock.
Once Kurt seemed dissatisfied with every corner of the room – including the cracked and constantly foggy for no reason mirror, the shower that didn't have any hot water and the tap that sprayed cloudy water everywhere, he finally joined Sebastian again.
"Well, this is shit."
Sebastian hummed in agreement.
"I think I would actually rather sleep on the bus." Kurt added.
"I'd rather walk the hundred miles home. Without shoes." Sebastian countered.
Kurt sighed loudly and led back on the bed. "I'm not going to make it through the night in here."
"I think I've got just the fix." Sebastian said, sitting up suddenly and diving across the room for his duffel bag.
He rooted around there for a few moments before pulling out an almost full bottle of Bourbon and showing it to Kurt excitedly.
"Bourbon? Are you kidding me? What are you, a brooding vampire?"
Sebastian rolled his eyes and flopped back down on his bed, unscrewing the cap and taking a large swig straight from the bottle. He offered it to Kurt who shook his head.
"Suit yourself, more for me." Sebastian teased and as he brought the bottle back up to his lips Kurt grabbed it from him and took a long drink. "I thought so." Sebastian laughed.
Kurt tried his very best to hold back his shiver at the bitter aftertaste but ultimately failed, which only helped Sebastian to laugh even harder.
"Why the fuck did you bring a bottle of Bourbon to a baseball game?" Kurt asked, handing him the bottle back.
"Well," he drank, "you never quite know when your bus is going to break down forcing you to spend an entire night in close quarters with your sworn enemy."
"Sworn enemy, eh?"
"Something like that."
"I bet you say that about all the boys." Kurt joked.
"It has been known to work from time to time." Sebastian said, looking upwards as he got caught up in those memories.
"You're serious?"
"As a heart attack." Sebastian crossed his heart and drank.
"I bet you've tried every ridiculous, cheesy chat-up line out there."
"You name it, I've done it." Sebastian winked.
"I'd really rather not discuss the nitty gritty of your sex life, thanks."
"Again I say, your loss."
"Somehow I think I'll manage." Kurt said.
"So what do you want to talk about?"
"Who says we have to talk about anything?" Kurt countered.
"You're right." Sebastian sat up further. "We could just skip that and make out right now." He teased.
"'Bastian." Kurt scolded, hitting Sebastian on the arm.
"Worth a shot though, right?"
Kurt gave him a look.
"Definitely worth it for your reaction alone."
Kurt didn't say anything and instead grabbed the bottle from Sebastian's hand.
They took turns in sharing the bottle and even found a couple of cracked and worn out glasses under the sink in the bathroom. Three drinking games and half a bottle later, they were both in a lighter mood.
"Better?"
"Yeah. Now I'm stuck in this mould collecting, rodent infested hell hole with you, but drunk."
"Ouch."
Kurt smiled and titled his glass towards Sebastian in a toast.
"To public school."
"To public school," Sebastian echoed, "may it forever torment children until the end of time."
"Amen." Kurt nodded and clinked his glass against Sebastian's before downing the rest.
Kurt still shivered at the sourness and Sebastian found it more and more endearing every single time. He tilted his head as he watched Kurt reach over the space between them to refill his glass, his long arms doing most of the work and the look of absolute concentration on his face that portrayed the tipsiness. The way his hair was a deconstructed mess and how he didn't seem to notice nor care. That he was still wearing his Cheerio's uniform because he refused to sleep in his underwear next to Sebastian. How he looked genuinely carefree for the first time in weeks.
"Listen Kurt, about- earlier."
Kurt sighed loudly, deflating further into the bed and the smile dropping from his face. "I knew you'd bring this up again. Can't you just forget I said anything? Please?" He muttered.
"No, because you did. And now I'm replying."
"I'd really rather not talk about it."
"I'd really rather we did."
"If you're going to take the piss, don't bother."
"No. No why would I-?" Sebastian paused when Kurt shot him a look. "Never mind. Kurt I-"
"Please, Sebastian. Don't complicate this."
Sebastian's mouth hung open for a second before he closed it and looked down. Kurt took the chance to look away, suddenly finding the holes in the wall by the door much more captivating.
"You've been acting weird all week, Kurt." Kurt sighed and brought the pillow from his side onto his face, Sebastian pulled it away. "And I want to know what's going on with you. Is it Blaine?"
Kurt tensed. "It's none of your business." He said bluntly.
"I don't know a whole lot about friendship, but in my understanding, friends are supposed to care about each other."
"As if you've ever cared about anyone in your life." Kurt spat.
"Look, whatever you've got going on, I'm sorry. But don't take it out on me, okay? I've done nothing but be good to you since the moment I got here. I don't deserve this shit and you know it."
When Kurt didn't immediately reply, Sebastian sighed and attempted to move as far from Kurt as the cramped motel room would allow. He reached over to the abandoned bottle of Bourbon and filled his glass.
Kurt had put the pillow over his face once more.
"Whatever, I'm gonna go and get changed." Sebastian muttered, slamming the bathroom door behind him.
When he got back, Kurt was still in the same position and Sebastian assumed he'd fallen asleep. He thought about waking him to tell him to get under the blankets but decided against it. Instead he grabbed his book from the front part of his bag and continued where he'd left off.
He'd got through about two chapters before Kurt spoke again.
"You're right." Kurt said from under the pillow, so quietly that Sebastian wasn't sure if Kurt had actually said anything at all.
"Excuse me?"
Kurt sighed dramatically and removed the pillow from his face. He sat up and ran his hands through his dishevelled hair. "I said you're right."
"About what?" Sebastian closed the book and put it to one side.
Kurt took a deep breath. "I have been acting, weird. And I shouldn't take it out on you." He paused. "It's not your fault."
Sebastian aimed for a witty comeback but instead what came out was a sincere, "want to talk about it?"
Kurt looked for a second like he was about to laugh Sebastian out of the room. But instead he resigned to a nod of okay. Sebastian tried to contain his surprise.
"Are you sure you wanna do this?"
"Hit me." Sebastian half smiled.
"Alright then." Kurt sat up further and crossed his legs so he was fully facing Sebastian. Sebastian mirrored the image. "So we begin around one month ago, maybe a bit longer." He paused, biting his lip as he thought about how to continue. "I thought it was just me being stupid and insecure again, you know that feeling when something just isn't right? You don't know what it is but you can't shake it off and it gets bigger and bigger every day?"
Sebastian nodded.
"You know what? It's stupid."
"It's not."
"It stupid."
"Kurt."
Kurt sighed and looked at Sebastian.
"You'll never let me live it down."
Sebastian's curiosity was peaked. "Go on." He urged.
Kurt attempted to start his sentence half a dozen times to no avail. Sebastian thought against every urge in his body that was telling him to just yell 'spit it out already!' Maybe prompting would help.
"Is this about Blaine?"
Kurt's gaze shot to Sebastian and he stopped worrying his lip. "How did you- how did you know?"
"You mean, despite the fact that every time I've mentioned his name around you lately you practically shoot steam out of the side of your face?"
Kurt shot him an unimpressed look.
"Oh please, for as long as I've known you both you've been attached at the hip and suddenly you lost your second shadow? Now to me that just screams 'trouble in paradise'."
Kurt rubbed his hand over his face. "That obvious, huh?"
"That, plus your phone background is of you and Berry."
"So?" Kurt argued.
"So," Sebastian began as if Kurt was the most dense person he'd ever had to explain something to, "you're so obviously the kind of overly sentimental gay who makes collages of him and his boy-toy and uses them as a lock screen on every technological device in sight."
"I'm best friends with Rachel."
"More than you are with Blainey-boo?"
Sebastian knew he'd won that round. Kurt snapped his jaw shut and looked away. Figuring he was on a winning streak, he decided to push his luck a little further.
"Are you gonna tell me about it or not?"
He was almost positive Kurt would say no and that would be the end of it, but instead he drew his phone out of his pocket and began scrolling through his messages.
"I think Blaine might be cheating on me."
"Blaine? Cheating on you?"
"Well, thinking about it. Maybe."
"Why the fuck do you think that?"
"I um-" He hesitated. "I found some texts on his phone. To Mike."
"He's cheating on you with Mike? The dancer?" Sebastian asked.
"What? No. No of course not." Kurt looked at Sebastian like he was crazy. "Blaine had been, telling Mike about his doubts about me, our relationship, all the arguments we've had lately. It's so embarrassing why couldn't he have just told me how he was feeling?" Kurt led back on the bed.
Sebastian stayed silent. Partly because he wasn't expecting such an honest admission into the struggles of their relationship, especially from Kurt's side and partly because he had no idea what to say that wouldn't piss Kurt off in some way, never mind actually offering useful advice or a shoulder to cry on.
So he just listened.
"I mean we had miscommunications in the past but this… I don't know if we can come back from this."
"Of course you can, you're KurtandBlaine." That almost sounded supportive.
Kurt laughed, it was bitter and cruel and it turned Sebastian's stomach.
"Let's face it, I've been living on borrowed time. There's no way I could make someone like Blaine happy for the rest of his life. We've only been dating for what, a year, and he's already bored of me. He's so out of my league."
"Okay first off I do not condone this pity party you're creating for yourself right now, it's miserable. And second, if anyone is out of anyone's league, you're out of his."
"You don't mean that." Kurt said, wringing his hands together.
"I wouldn't say it if I didn't."
He sat up to look at Sebastian. He tapped his nose as he said, "I may be pretty but I'm not dumb."
"Have I ever lied to you?" He blinked his eyes innocently.
Kurt took a moment to seriously consider it. "No." He even seemed to surprise himself with his answer.
Sebastian contained his shock and brought it back to his original point. "So when I say he wouldn't cheat on you, I mean that too."
He had no idea why he was defending Blaine, it just sort of slipped out. More than anything he just wanted to protect Kurt's feelings, it had become almost an instinct. That's what friends do, they omit truths to comfort those in need of a shoulder to cry on. He found it somewhat hilarious that the job had somehow fallen upon him.
"I wouldn't be so sure." Kurt said.
And Sebastian hated it, he hated how certain Kurt sounded and how his voice betrayed that he completely and utterly blamed himself for Blaine's betrayal. Hypothetical or not.
"I know he wouldn't. The first time I met him he totally shut me down. And if he'd say no to this there is no way he's straying elsewhere."
He was aiming for humour and reassurance but Kurt's reaction led him to believe he'd just made everything worse.
"People change." Kurt said dejectedly.
"What? No they don't."
"So after weeks of telling me you've changed, you are now denying people's ability to change." Kurt questioned Sebastian's logic as he narrowed his eyes.
"This isn't about me." Sebastian argued.
"No, it isn't about you. But it would be so much easier to hate you instead of the man I'm in love with."
"Then hate away." Sebastian said with a smile and a welcoming gesture.
"Oh I wish I could."
Sebastian wanted to ask what he meant more than anything, but he also understood that now was definitely not the right time. As he watched Kurt drift somewhere far away, deep in his own thoughts, he felt a pang of helplessness and desperation at not being able to fix it.
Kurt hadn't really made the situation any clearer, he already knew Blaine was the issue and he hadn't clarified what the texts had said or if Kurt had any other proof to suggest Blaine was cheating.
But he realised that even if Kurt did, Sebastian would be the last person he would tell. The only reason he'd let his guard down in the first place was thanks to the Bourbon.
"Come on, it's late. We should get some sleep." He tapped Kurt lightly on the shoulder, pulling him away from his daydream.
Kurt hummed in agreement and got under the duvet. After a few moments Sebastian reached in between the beds to turn off the nightlight casting the whole room into shadow.
They sat there in the darkened room then, the only light supplied from the moonlight filtering in from the moth bitten curtains on the windows. It lit their faces in beautiful ways, half in light, half in the dark.
Sebastian was led on his back, facing the ceiling with his hands resting behind his head, tracing patterns on the ceiling and writing song lyrics in his head to the beat of Kurt tapping his fingers against one another.
"'Bastian?" Kurt whispered, his voice cracking the silence.
"Yea, Kurt?" He inclined his head in Kurt's direction but remained focused on the ceiling.
"Can I, tell you something?"
Sebastian's heart skipped a beat. He didn't know how much more honesty he could take from Kurt tonight. He turned his head to look at Kurt before answering.
"Sure."
"There was," he paused, "a point in my life where I couldn't stop being mad at you." Kurt almost whispered into the darkness. "But now-"
"But now?" Sebastian asked, hanging onto every breath.
Kurt sighed. "But now it's like I can't be mad at you. And I mean I try. I try so hard." He paused. "Like tonight. Tonight I was so determined to ignore you or even insult you every chance I got- but I couldn't do it. Why wouldn't I do it?"
"I, maybe you've finally fallen for my charm."
Sebastian couldn't see but he was certain Kurt just rolled his eyes. "Shut up, jackass."
"Just putting it out there."
Kurt sat up and shot him a look.
"The truth is," he began after a moment, "it wasn't you I was mad at. As much as I cannot believe I'm about to say this," he laughed. "You haven't done anything wrong. All you've done is be there for me, you know." More silence. "And I've tried to hate myself for letting you in, I have. But how can I when you're pretty much the only person in my life who doesn't walk all over me for their own selfish needs? Who just gets me without me having to explain a single word? Who understands I don't always need coddling and ice cream as a pick me up?"
Sebastian moved his hands slowly from behind his head and sat up to face Kurt.
"Bottom line is, I can't just blame you for everything that goes wrong in my life. Not anymore. You're not the evil villain. You're a person. You're my friend." He continued.
"Friend." Sebastian echoed.
"Friend." Kurt said with as much sincerity as he could muster after drinking half a bottle of Bourbon.
Sebastian tilted his head and Kurt blinked. Sebastian reached out his arm slowly and placed the back of his fingers softly on Kurt's cheek. Kurt leaned into the touch, first just slightly and then more. He brought up his hand and placed it over Sebastian's, stroking it lightly before pulling it down and into his own. He closed his eyes and leaned down to kiss the centre of Sebastian's palm.
Kurt looked up towards Sebastian, still holding his hand. Then they were staring at each other, neither willing nor able to process exactly what was happening. They stayed like that for a while, neither with the courage to make a move for the better or the worse, the only sound in the room other than their own heavy breathing was the broken clanking noise coming from the extractor fan in the bathroom.
Sebastian was acutely aware of the feeling of Kurt's fingers wrapped around his own. They were warm, and soft, so unbelievably soft, and he never ever wanted to let go. Kurt's fingers twitched a little and Sebastian broke eye contact to look down at their hands. They twitched again, tightening.
Sebastian looked back up to Kurt, their eyes locked and lips parted. Sebastian inched closer, so slowly it was almost painful. There was less than a breath separating them, Sebastian's eyes were flicking rapidly between Kurt's eyes and his lips in anticipation, all it would take would be one more inch when-
Kurt broke away, leaning back and running his hands over his face.
"Oh my god, I am so fucking drunk."
"Yeah, yeah. I- I wouldn't disagree with you." Sebastian uttered breathlessly, frozen in the same position.
Kurt ran his hands through his hair and stood up. He wandered over to the mirror and his eyes bugged at his reflection. Sebastian was still frozen in the same position.
He thought he heard Kurt mention something about sorting out his face or hair or maybe it was his wig he wasn't sure. He couldn't process anything other than the extreme rush of emotions that were overwhelming him right now.
There was desire, want and anticipation followed by disappointment, confusion and rejection. Then finally there was sadness, frustration and embarrassment. He couldn't settle on a primary emotion so instead he led back on the bed and tried to keep the early signs of the inevitable headache at bay.
Sebastian didn't know how long Kurt was in the bathroom for, though he was sure he'd dozed off a couple of times. Kurt seemed to have sobered up somewhat though.
He thought and thought about what he should say, if anything. And what this meant, if anything. He waited for him to get settled in bed again before speaking.
"Hey Kurt." He started.
"'Seb?" He didn't know if it was lack of sleep or intoxication or the ever growing headache but he couldn't read Kurt's tone so he decided to chicken out of the speech he had planned in his head.
"Sucks about Blaine."
Kurt snorted.
"I'm serious."
"Whatever."
He knew that was the end of the conversation. Part of him was thankful.
Though it was true, despite his selfish wishes, he really did feel bad for Kurt. But he was also angry that someone as lucky as Blaine would throw aside someone as incredible as Kurt with total disregard for his feelings. It made him sick.
As did the realisation that apparently Sebastian had morals now. And strong human emotions. For Kurt. His head was an even more tangled mess of unwanted thoughts and feelings. It hurt. He reached in between the beds for the bottle and drained the last of it. He swallowed hard and worked on keeping his breathing even and his eyes closed. Soon after he heard Kurt sigh and turn over.