Hope you're having a wonderful holiday season wherever you are, and if you're near where I am, I hope your house doesn't flood.
The next couple of weeks were awkward since Kurt and Blaine were not speaking, despite both of them wanting to remain friends after the break up. The rest of the New Directions didn't know how to keep up the normalcy with both of them at the same time when they couldn't even look at each other. Everywhere in school was tense, choir practice, rehearsals, lunch.
Sebastian found this a little ironic since he was certain that most of them had dated each other in so many bizarre and complex combinations that it was a miracle that any of them were still speaking. He figured if they could make it through that, they could fix this pretty soon.
Kurt was still quiet, he wasn't participating in conversations or rehearsals, he was trying his hardest to become invisible but it was just drawing more attention to him. Sebastian could tell that people were beginning to worry but they didn't know what to do. Neither did he.
Kurt wasn't at the Lima Bean the first Saturday after breaking up with Blaine, which was disappointing but not unexpected. Sebastian didn't stay long that day, but long enough to make sure that Kurt definitely wasn't turning up.
He did however text Sebastian on Sunday, asking if they could hang out at The Bean that afternoon. Sebastian replied a confirmation quickly, feeling something akin to butterflies in his stomach. They agreed to meet in an hour, although Sebastian set off pretty much straight away, since it wasn't like he was doing anything else.
He arrived around half an hour later, but Kurt was already there, sat in their usual spot and anxiously chewing his lip. Sebastian tried and failed to hold back a toothy grin as he crossed the space and pulled out the chair opposite Kurt. Kurt startled and looked up at Sebastian in shock, which then turned to embarrassment and then to fondness.
"You're early." Kurt remarked playfully.
"As are you."
Both of them understood the unspoken meaning of them turning up half an hour earlier than agreed, but they didn't mention it. They didn't need to, but it comforted both of them to know that whatever this was, both of them felt it and neither of them was running away.
"So, what's the occasion?"
Kurt didn't reply immediately, as if debating whether or not to tell the truth. "I regretted ditching you yesterday so I thought I'd make up for it."
"Is that so?"
"I didn't have anyone to bitch at all day, it was infuriating."
"Sorry I couldn't be of service."
"I forgive you. But you should probably get me a coffee for good measure, you know." Kurt teased.
"You were the one who ditched me, I was here at the usual time." Sebastian argued.
Kurt looked taken aback and properly guilty for the first time and Sebastian felt kind of uneasy. He stood anyway and headed over the counter to order their drinks. He felt Kurt's eyes on him the whole time. He returned with their regular orders at which Kurt made grabby hands until the cup was firmly in his grasp. They sat for a few moments before either of them spoke.
"So, what's new in your life?"
"Really?" Sebastian asked.
"Really." Kurt echoed.
Sebastian huffed out a long breath. "Um, oh. I got the results from our history assignment back, aced it, obviously."
Kurt rolled his eyes. "Obviously. You never told me you were going to be studying in New York in the fall." He blurted out before he could stop himself.
"It never came up." Sebastian said after a moment, shrugging.
"You didn't think to mention it anyway?"
"I didn't think you'd care."
"Well, I do care." He paused, trying to disregard the comment and not grow offended, "Columbia, huh? Do you have your acceptance already?"
"I had it before I transferred."
"That's impressive, I wish I had that amount of certainty about my future, I haven't even had my audition for NYADA yet."
"Oh yeah, when is that?" Sebastian asked with genuine curiosity.
"It's in a couple of weeks. I've been practicing and practicing but then I completely change my mind on the song and I'm back to the beginning again." He knew he was bordering on ranting but he couldn't seem to stop.
"You've got this, Kurt. I know that whatever song you choose doesn't really matter, because you're talented at what you do, and that will shine through no matter what." Sebastian said as if dishing out such niceties was a regular and expected part of his personality.
"Who are you?" Kurt gawked sarcastically, eyes wide.
"Aren't we way past that by now? Sure, your style of performance is an… acquired taste, but it's one I've come to love wholeheartedly." He said, holding his hand flat on his chest to emphasize sincerity.
Kurt blushed and didn't really know what to say. He couldn't take Sebastian seriously at all, so he went for deflective sarcasm. "I'm touched. Does that mean you'll duet with me sometime?"
"It would be my pleasure."
"In front of the whole Glee club?"
"I think the better question is are you ready for that?" He teased.
"Believe me, I've been through much worse in that choir room." Kurt laughed depreciatively.
"Oh really, that sounds like a story I want to hear about." Sebastian said, curiosity peaked.
"I'm not sure I want to tell it."
"Go on, for me." He pouted.
"How is that supposed to convince me?"
"Sharing is caring."
Kurt sighed, but he smiled widely and his posture completely changed into story telling mode. "Okay, okay, so one time in my sophomore year I sang Pink Houses dressed like my dad, complete with the cap and the Gillet and the attitude, singing in my best macho man voice. It was awful and I don't remember it fondly, it was a dark time." Kurt's tone was melancholic but his face was open and playful.
"I don't know what to say."
"There were some pretty deep rooted issues going on, it's actually more tragic than it is funny, but I can laugh about it now. I made out with Brittany that week in a desperate attempt to be straight." He said, waving a hand at the whole thing and its ridiculousness.
"You're right, that is tragic."
"Safe to say it didn't go in my favour. But it actually made me and my dad a lot closer, so I can't regret it completely." His smile was warm as he remembered the memory, it made Sebastian feel warm too.
Kurt seemed to realise he'd actually made the mood more reflective and sad than hilarious, so he tried again. "Also in that same year I sang a love song to my now step-brother who at the time I had a huge crush on."
"Okay, where do I even start with that one?" Sebastian asked, chuckling loudly.
"Please be kind, I'm trusting you enough to tell you this information. I'm exposing myself for cheap laughs."
"You honestly had a crush on Finn?" Sebastian gawked.
"I thought it was true love." Kurt joked.
"I can't believe this."
"Well, believe it, I lived it."
"I still don't know how I didn't realise that Finn is your brother. You have to tell me how that came about."
"I think I've embarrassed myself enough for one afternoon." Kurt protested.
"Oh come on, I'll tell you anything you want to know."
"Anything?" He prodded.
"Well, within reason."
"Alright." He smirked. "Well, the cliff notes version is that my little crush may have led to me setting up my dad with his mom at teacher parent night, and then they did the rest. Finn was not at all happy about it for a long time, understandably, insults were thrown, tears were shed, but he made up for it at their wedding when he sang a love song to me, Rachel and his mom at the same time. It really feels like we're actual brothers now, we as much as we could be."
"That's a hell of a story."
"And it's probably one of the less complicated histories in the Glee club."
"I miss the simplicity of the Warblers." Sebastian lamented.
"Nah, they were so boring."
"I think you're just used to high amounts of drama."
"My best friend is Rachel Berry, of course I am."
Sebastian chuckled. "So, what do you want to know?"
Kurt thought for a moment, he didn't actually know what he wanted to ask since there wasn't much about Sebastian that he knew, but he didn't want to let Sebastian choose, since he'd probably pick the least embarrassing thing he could get away with. "Tell me about your twenty minute relationship." Kurt asked, his eyes glittering from across the table.
"What?" Sebastian asked, brows furrowed.
"You know, the one you met on the dancefloor at Scandals that you thought might be your true love?" Kurt teased.
Sebastian considered his reaction. "Alright, what do you want to know?"
"I didn't think it would be that easy. Then again, why am I even surprised that you'd so willingly give up information about your sex life?"
"So, you want to know about the sex? It was-"
"No." Kurt shouted. "No. I don't."
Sebastian laughed like Kurt had reacted perfectly. "Alright. There's really not much to tell, he was hot, we danced, we kissed, we got wasted, we fucked in the bathroom, the end."
"Why did I even ask?" Kurt said, with much less surprise and disgust than he thought possible.
"Are you jealous about my dating history?"
"I wouldn't exactly call that 'dating'." Kurt objected.
"Point taken, but you didn't answer the question."
"What would I have to be jealous of?"
"What wouldn't you have to be jealous of?" Sebastian joked, wiggling his eyebrows and holding out his arms in a 'look at this' gesture.
Kurt rolled his eyes, he wondered how they hadn't got stuck there yet. He voiced that thought out loud and Sebastian laughed loudly. "Your ego is unmatched by anyone I've ever met."
"Can you blame me?"
Kurt pouted in consideration. "No, not really. If I looked like you, I'd probably be up my own ass too."
Sebastian snorted out a laugh that drew glares from a few surrounding people.
"So, how are your parents?" Kurt asked to change the subject.
"They are good, my mum is flying over to Paris next week for my aunt's birthday."
"Paris, as you do."
"Maybe I'll take you sometime." He said, keeping his tone playful but boarding on flirting and testing the waters.
"Oh yeah? I'm gonna hold you to that."
He seemed to be flirting back so Sebastian took it up a level. "Would this summer suit you?"
"Are you serious?" Kurt gawked.
"Do you want me to be serious?" He teased.
Kurt sat back in his seat and chewed his lip. "I'll get back to you. I'm still not totally convinced I could leave the country with you for company, it might ruin Paris for me forever."
"Oh babe, I'd show you the best time of your life." He said before he could stop himself, afterwards realising he might sound a little too like the old Sebastian. He held his breath.
"I'll hold you to that too." Kurt didn't lose any of the playfulness in his voice nor the spark in his eye, in fact he seemed to grin wider. Definitely flirting. Sebastian released his breath.
Sebastian told him stories about his time in Paris; like the time when he was eight and got lost in a market and couldn't find his parents and ended up crying for two hours even after they had found him. He told him about how the French are as terrible drivers as the stereotype implies, and that they do eat snails, it is not a myth and also that they don't understand what queueing is and it seriously tested the limits of his anger.
Despite all that though, Sebastian told him about how amazing Paris was, how there is so much to do and so much food to try and art to see and that the architecture is so beautiful. Their house in Paris had a view that only disgusting amounts of money could buy, but Sebastian made sure to appreciate it every single morning. He told Kurt about the time a few years ago before he was at Dalton when he tried to flirt in French with a guy in a bar who had ended up laughing the entire time at his 'horrible accent' and 'appalling pick up lines'. Kurt disagreed with the accent part, as Sebastian demonstrated some of the lines to Kurt and though he spoke beautiful and sounded much better than Kurt ever thought he himself ever could, but the guy was right about the lines, they were awful.
This lead to Sebastian asking Kurt what kind of lines would work on him and then Kurt blushing furiously and teasing that Sebastian would have to work that out for himself. Sebastian wasted no time in trying out a few and Kurt wondered where he even found them and how the fuck he managed to get laid every weekend if that was all he had in his arsenal.
Kurt didn't bring up Blaine, and neither did Sebastian, though the situation still hung between them like an oppressive weight. Kurt looked fed up and exhausted like he hadn't slept or eaten in days, and it worried Sebastian to no end. He only hoped his ridiculous jokes and light flirting could take his mind of it for as much time as Kurt would let him in.
They sat there for hours, refilling their drinks twice, until enough time had passed that they began to receive glares from the staff. Sebastian told Kurt to ignore them but Kurt thought they should probably get going.
They walked to their cars - Sebastian had parked next to Kurt's – and stood silently staring at each other, prolonging the goodbye.
"Wanna maybe come over to my place for a while? We could watch a movie or something." Kurt asked shyly.
"Sure." He nodded. "But I'm not watching any chick flicks."
They ended up watching three chick flicks in a row, two of which are Sebastian's choice. They ordered a pizza half way through the second movie; The Devil Wears Prada, and it served to reset the physical space between them on the bed that had been steadily diminishing up until that point.
It took much less time the second time around for them to be within brushing distance, their arms lying in the space between them and itching to just reach out. Neither of them did, though both hope the other is thinking it. It got really difficult when they neared the end of the third movie and the couple on screen get their obligatory kiss, prompting both of their minds to wander to what it might be like if they gave in to the extreme amounts of tension that had been building between them.
At the end of the movie Sebastian rubbed at his neck and muttered something about having to leave since they had school the next day, but made no attempt to actually move. They stared at each other, their gazes locked in each other's eyes with fleeting breaks as they looked down to each other's lips. They stayed like this until the door downstairs slammed shut and Burt called upstairs to see if anyone was home.
Kurt's eyes flashed to the doorway and the moment was broken, but both of them were faintly blushing and breathing heavier than they should have been for two people who were not even touching. Kurt laughed and rubbed a hand down his face, standing from the bed and nodding towards the door. Sebastian got up reluctantly and they headed downstairs.
Sebastian protested that he didn't want to meet Kurt's father yet, so Kurt asked if Sebastian was afraid of his father and his moment of hesitance in response made Kurt bark out a laugh. Sebastian furiously denied being afraid, instead saying it was only fair that he be prepared like Kurt was and not ambushed. Kurt joked that it sounded an awful lot like they were dating and immediately regretted it once the words had left his mouth. Sebastian only winked for which Kurt was grateful.
Kurt saw Sebastian to the door, successfully avoiding Burt and hugged him tightly goodbye, lingering just a little too long to be simply friendly. He watched Sebastian walk halfway to his car before calling out a thank you for making him feel somewhat functional again. Sebastian turned back and smiled bashfully, saying he'd be there anytime.
By this point Burt had wandered to the door and was watching Sebastian from behind Kurt with a curious and protective stare that to Sebastian simply looked intimidating. Sebastian hurried to the car before Burt could call him back, leaving Kurt to answer all the questions.
Sebastian was collecting the last things from his locker at the end of Monday when he saw the unmistakable helmet of gel stride purposefully in his direction. Sebastian slammed his locker in Blaine's face and braced himself.
"I've got some words for you." Blaine began.
"Oh yeah? Me too." Sebastian retorted.
"This is all your fault. You asshole." Blaine accused, he spoke angrily but his small frame make it comical to Sebastian.
"What is my fault?" He indulged.
"Everything." Blaine said, gesturing wildly.
"I know I'm a bit of an asshole, but I wouldn't go that far." He answered sarcastically.
Blaine rolled his eyes. "I'm talking about Kurt. Kurt and I would still be together if it wasn't for you."
Sebastian widened his eyes in disbelief. "Excuse me?"
"You heard me. I don't know what you said to him or what ideas you put in his head but he won't even talk to me. And I know you have something to do with that what with all the time you've been spending together." Blaine stalked closer with every word but didn't lower his voice despite the scene he was creating in the hallway.
"Okay, this is ridiculous. First of all, you need to grow up and accept responsibility for your mistakes. You lost Kurt, Blaine, because of you." Sebastian countered.
Blaine opened and closed his mouth several times, raising his chin as if to keep from crying. "We were fine until you showed up here."
"That's not what I heard."
"What is that supposed to mean?" Blaine took a step forward.
"It means that you should have worried less about all the time I was spending with Kurt and worried about all the time that you weren't. I've been nothing but a friend to Kurt, and I've been there for him when you didn't even realise there was anything wrong, so take your pathetic associations somewhere else." Sebastian was so done with this conversation and he turned away from Blaine to walk away.
He made it a few steps before Blaine roughly pulled at Sebastian's shoulder and punched him hard in the face. Sebastian barely had time to react as he stumbled a few steps backward, his hand flying to his face in shock. Blaine had an excellent right hook. Sebastian took a moment to compose himself, taking in the way Blaine was practically vibrating with rage.
"Has anyone ever told you that you're a very angry young man?" Sebastian smirked, never one to resist adding fuel to a fire.
"Don't talk down to me." Blaine warned, pointing his finger and practically standing on his tiptoes to regain some of the power he lost on sheer height disadvantage alone.
"Or what?" He challenged.
Blaine balled his hands into fists. "I just showed you what."
Sebastian was about to reply when he heard Kurt's voice from behind him, where Blaine's focus had now shifted. "What's happening here?"
"Nothing." Blaine answered, looking at his feet.
Sebastian turned as Kurt reached his side. "Are you okay?" Kurt asked, his face full of concern as he took in the scene before him. Sebastian was still clutching his face, his cheekbone beginning to redden and bruise, and Blaine was closed off, hands still curled tight and breathing harshly through his nose. Kurt's hand reached out to rub at Sebastian's upper arm.
"I'm fine. Blaine is just a little angry, nothing I can't handle." Sebastian shrugged.
"Don't speak for me." Blaine pointed his finger towards Sebastian.
"I rest my case." Sebastian said, raising both hands to emphasise his innocence.
Kurt turned sad eyes towards Blaine who still refused to look at Kurt. "Blaine." He said softly. "We've talked about this. This is between you and me. If you've got a problem, you come to me. You can still tell me anything."
Kurt moved towards Blaine, his hand still on Sebastian's shoulder, he squeezed once before letting go. Blaine's eyes were still glued to his feet. "I know." He whispered. "But you've been avoiding me."
"We've been giving each other space, like we agreed." Kurt placed his hand gently on Blaine's chin and tilted his head up until he was looking at him. "It doesn't mean we have to stop being friends. If you're ready to hang out, we can do that."
Blaine sighed and with it he seemed to completely deflate, all the tension fell from his shoulders as he fell into Kurt's arms. Sebastian folded his arms and resisted the urge to roll his eyes, shifting his weight onto the other foot. He felt like he was intruding on another one of their moments, which made him both upset and angry since KurtandBlaine weren't actually together anymore.
Blaine muttered something that Sebastian didn't hear, then Kurt pulled Blaine back to look at him, his eyes were teary but he was kind of smiling. Kurt whispered a question to which Blaine nodded and then Kurt squeezed Blaine's shoulder and turned around to face Sebastian.
Blaine hesitated for a moment as he watched Kurt return to Sebastian, he watched the way Sebastian's face lit up despite the confusion and dread that still lingered there. Blaine laughed somewhat self depreciatively and span on his heel, leaving the two of them alone in the now empty hallway.
"So…" Sebastian started.
"So?"
"Are you two like- back together?" Sebastian asked, that harsh coldness seeping into his voice that reminded them both a little too much of the 'old' Sebastian if the way that Kurt flinched was any indication.
Anger flashed across Kurt's eyes but he seemed to think better of whatever he was about to say because when he spoke it was soft and understanding. "No. We are not. But, we did agree to meet up one day this week and sort this out because it's getting unbearable." Kurt folded his arms, closing in on himself.
"You're telling me." Sebastian joked.
Kurt laughed, but there was no humour to it. "We've made things awkward for everyone, huh?"
"Pretty much." Sebastian nudged Kurt's arm so he knew he was only joking. He wanted Kurt to know they could still joke around each other, at each other, even with all the shit going on between them right now. He didn't want them to lose their playful back and forth, not since it was so quintessentially KurtandSebastian.
Kurt looked up at Sebastian, his eyes wide and searching Sebastian's face rapidly, narrowing as they settled across the growing bruise on his cheekbone. "Did- did Blaine hit you?"
Sebastian felt like he should lie, which would be a great idea for a number of reasons, namely to protect Kurt from whatever it is he might feel about it and himself because Sebastian is not the person who usually takes hits and it could seriously damage his reputation. But also he felt like he should protect Blaine because Sebastian understood that he was angry and confused about losing Kurt and he felt helpless and frustrated and Sebastian was a convenient outlet for all of those feelings, given that he was still kind of an asshole most of the time.
In the end though, Sebastian knew it would be a worse idea to lie to Kurt, since it would most likely come back and bit him in the ass at some point, and Sebastian was determined to be as honest and truthful as he could at all times if he could help it.
"Yes, but its fine, he barely grazed me." He sighed, trying to downplay it instead.
"Sebastian, Blaine boxes regularly and I've seen him practice enough to know that he can get in a good hit, even with someone as agile as you." Kurt argued, reaching up to gently brush his fingers across the swollen area to assess the damage.
Sebastian hissed as Kurt pressed lightly on it, trying to bat Kurt's hand away. "I'm fine."
"You need to put ice on it at least, and you're gonna look like shit tomorrow-"
"Thanks."
Kurt smirked. "You're welcome. Come on, let's go." He tugged on Sebastian's arm lightly and they walked towards the parking lot.
Kurt was over at Rachel's house that night so they could practice their duet for this week's assignment. Kurt had asked Rachel after practice if they could team up, since he felt he hadn't been spending anywhere near enough time with her in the past few weeks, and he missed singing with her too. He let Rachel pick the song, one of the things she could be trusted with almost all of the time.
They'd run through harmonies a few times and had moved on to incorporating choreography alongside it but it was clear to Rachel that Kurt's head was elsewhere. She breathed out through her nose and placed her hand softly on Kurt's arm, startling him out of whatever trance he'd been in.
"Whilst I appreciate being asked to duet this week's assignment with the only other most talented person in the glee club, I know that something is up with you. You're not here at all."
Kurt pulled at his bottom lip and avoided her eyes.
"Is this about Blaine?" She asked softly.
"Of course it's about Blaine, how could it not be about Blaine. Everything in my life reminds me of him, except now it just reminds me that he's gone and it's all my fault and I'm alone and I-"
Rachel sat down by Kurt on the bed and pulled him in for a hug. "I know it feels like that but you're not alone, okay. Break ups are hard but you'll make it through, and it is definitely not your fault. So you have to stop blaming yourself."
"But I pushed him away."
"From what I've heard, it was him who pushed you away."
Kurt shrugged. "I feel like I didn't realise we were falling apart until it was already too late. It happened so slowly and suddenly that was it. It was over."
"I'm so sorry Kurt." Rachel comforted.
Kurt sighed, deflating. "I just miss him so much."
Rachel's face turned sympathetic and she reached for him, pulling him into her side and stroking his hair. He leaned into the touch. "Oh sweetie I know."
"He's still my best friend but I can't. I just can't talk to him right now." He mumbled, still not lifting his head.
"He knows that, he's giving you space."
"I didn't want it to end like this."
Rachel's hand stilled in his hair, and she pulled him back until he was looking at her. "Nothing is ending, Kurt. It's the beginning of something new, something better."
"It doesn't feel like it." He laughed depreciatively.
"It will one day, it will get easier." She soothed, now moving her hand form his hair to his cheek. "This is for the best and- and you'll find new places and new people to share your heart with and if not well, maybe someday you'll be able to try with Blaine again."
Kurt was struck with the shock that his immediate thought was that he wasn't sure that he wanted that at all. That he wasn't sure if he wanted a future with Blaine anymore after the way things fell apart between them. And even if circumstances were right, deep in his heart feelings were growing for someone else that were so intense and overwhelming and threatening to take over every inch of him.
For the first time he was confronted with the fact that he saw a future with Sebastian, and that he wanted that. Fluttering thoughts of their lives in New York, maybe they would live together, they would find a coffee shop that wasn't the Lima Bean and they would spend their weekends in Central Park. Kurt was rendered speechless, they weren't even together, he had no idea if they would even work as a couple, if that was what Sebastian even wanted. Or if he did want that, if he would be able to do it, given his track record. That was unfair, he thought to himself, but not entirely ungrounded.
Despite all the recent evidence to the contrary; Sebastian's kind consideration, dinner with his parents, his unabashed honesty – Kurt still couldn't quite see Sebastian settling down into a domestic bliss with him the way he thought that Blaine would.
He laughed bitterly to himself as he remembered how certain he had been that he would spend forever with Blaine, through the good and the bad, and how it had taken relatively little to tear them apart before they'd even graduated. Kurt had been so preoccupied about how they would navigate a long distance relationship next year that he hadn't realised they were already slipping away from each other.
There would be no cosy nights in shoebox apartments, no breakfast in bed on a Sunday morning or all night sex because they no longer had to worry about any parents walking in. It still hurt Kurt, a lot, but it was more of a numb resignation now than the unyielding stabbing pain that it used to be. He didn't know how he felt about that either.
Maybe that wasn't what he wanted anymore, wasn't what he needed, and that was okay. Maybe he wanted something different, something with more passion and ferocity, something that excited him in fresh and unpredictable ways, something with a push and pull, an ebb and flow, a rhythm. Something like the feelings that Sebastian ignited in him.
"Kurt?"
Kurt's head snapped to look at Rachel who was staring back at him with concern. "Yeah?"
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine. What were you saying?" He asked, shaking his head to try and physically remove the thought train from his head.
"I was just saying that if it's meant to be, it's meant to be. So stop worrying so hard." She smiled, somehow he doubted that was exactly what she had said, but he was grateful for the cliff notes version either way.
"Thanks, Rach."
Rachel ran her hand down Kurt's arm and squeezed his wrist before turning to resume practice. They only made it through sixteen bars before Rachel paused again.
"Okay, there's more. Out with it, otherwise we will never be able to perfect this duet by the end of the week." She said, her hand on her hip.
"Sorry. I'm okay, I promise. Let's just keep going."
"Your head is somewhere else entirely. I just uh-" Rachel started. Something in the way she held herself with unusual hesitance, biting her lip and almost seeming scared made Kurt certain he was not going to like where this was going.
"You just?" Kurt echoed.
"There is something going on between you and Sebastian, isn't there?" She blurted out.
Kurt huffed out his breath and flopped down on Rachel's bed. He closed his eyes and threw his arm over them. She knew.
"I'll take that as a yes." She continued, lying back with him so their shoulders were touching. "Look, I'm not judging you-" Kurt cracked an unbelieving eye open. "I'm not, I promise. And whilst I won't pretend to understand it, I do know that Sebastian is all kinds of different around you, like good different, so whatever the hell it is, it must be serious. And I want you to know that you can talk to me about it, Kurt."
Kurt moved his arm away from his eyes to tentatively regard Rachel, whose expression seemed to reflect nothing but concern and intrigue. He huffed out a small laugh and rolled onto his side to pull her into a tight hug.
"I love you, Rachel Berry." He said, holding her close, he felt her laugh into the crook of his neck.
"I love you too, Kurt Hummel." She said as she pulled back to look at him.
"How did you know?"
"I'm more observant than you give me credit for." She paused. "That and also Finn told me that you invited him over the other day and you spent 'all evening together in your room with the door closed'." Rachel said, trying and failing to impersonate Finn.
"Okay, first of all, that impression was insulting even to me, and second, it wasn't like that."
"But it wasn't not like that." She insisted.
"We were just hanging out."
"Since when did you 'just hang out' with Sebastian?" She challenged.
Kurt pouted. "I see your point."
They were silent for a moment, Kurt wanting to spill his every thought now that he didn't have to worry about Rachel finding out, or worse, biting his head off with fierce disapproval, since she already knew. Part of him was shocked that since he thought he'd kept those feelings pretty tight under wraps, especially when the rest of the glee club where around, but then the other part of him was just relieved, of course Rachel knew, she was more observant than anyone really gave her credit for and she was his best friend after all.
"So, do you wanna talk about it?" Rachel asked with a teasing prod.
"Yes, so much." Kurt breathed.
"But?"
"But I don't know how to word any of this, it's crazy. I don't even understand it myself."
"That's why I'm here to help you work through it." She smiled, grabbing his wrist and pulling him back against the headboard with her. "Come on, take out, ice cream and a long overdue heart to heart?" She asked.
"You know me so well."
Rachel pinched his cheek. "Of course I do."
Once the food had arrived and Kurt had had some time to gather his thoughts, he turned to Rachel and began to explain everything that had been happening between himself and Sebastian over the past couple of months – a few details spared and white lies told since he figured it would just overcomplicate things that Rachel would probably just misunderstand anyway – whilst she struggled to stay silent but eventually managed to listen to almost the whole story without making any judgments or asking any questions.
Her face went through every expression that Kurt could name, he watched vigilantly for anything similar to disappointment or disgust, and was relieved when he only saw understanding, compassion and even amusement at one point during the story – he was pretty certain it was when he told her about the porn incident from The Lima Bean and how Sebastian Smythe had been so embarrassed that he hid in the bathroom for ten minutes.
Talking out loud about everything was surprisingly therapeutic for Kurt, it clarified a lot of his feelings and prompted him to explore some further, and made the whole thing seem real. He had forgotten how good it felt to confide in his best friend. Though Rachel's unpredictable reactions still concerned him.
He had no idea how long he talked for, but Rachel just kept on listening. Rachel breathed out slowly when Kurt finished. "Wow, Kurt. I had no idea."
Kurt shrugged.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I didn't know what to say, I couldn't tell anyone. Don't tell me you would have been anything less than furious if I had told you a few weeks ago that I got pissed in a motel room with Sebastian and then flirted with him. You would've gone on a warpath and kicked us both out of the Glee club." He left out the part about them almost kissing.
Rachel took offense to the accusation but agreed that it was exactly how she would have reacted. "I still feel so awful that you've gone through all this alone."
"It's hardly torture."
Rachel quirked an eyebrow.
"I know, I can't believe I'm saying it either, but spending time with Sebastian… is actually one of my favourite parts of the day."
Rachel looked at him but he couldn't read what she was thinking. He hoped it wasn't pity, he really didn't need pity from anyone about having confused, unexpected and increasingly intense feelings for Sebastian.
"Does he know how you feel?" Rachel asked quietly.
Kurt was surprised by her question, he was surprised by her whole reaction, honestly. "I- I don't know. I mean, I think so but we haven't talked about it, not really. We've hinted but-" Kurt paused and started laughing fondly. "You know what the funniest thing about all of this is?" Rachel shook her head. "Sebastian. He's nothing like I thought he was. He still makes more innuendos and gives more details about his sex life more than any person needs to know but, he's also sensitive and smart and very considerate. Like when I had dinner with his parents, I've never seen Sebastian so- nervous. It was incredible, it's like I've seen this whole other side to him that I never thought could exist. And. And I really really like it." Kurt choked a little at the end and when he caught Rachel's eye he thought she might just be a little moved. "God I'm such a sap." Kurt laughed, shaking his head.
"You are. But it's not a bad thing by any means." Rachel smiled. "I just, I can't wrap my head around any of this. I'm still not quite sure I believe you, I'll have to see it for myself."
"Well, seeing is believing." Kurt added.
"So Sebastian really likes you then?"
"I think so? It sounds ridiculous, doesn't it? The asshole that almost blinded my ex-boyfriend after months of trying to steal him from me, tried to sabotage regionals by photo-shopping the most unflattering nudes of your boyfriend and proudly flaunted that he hasn't ever had a relationship longer than twenty minutes in the bathroom of a seedy gay bar has a blushy, pathetic crush on me."
"It sounds absurd."
"Maybe this is all a really vivid fever dream." Kurt mused.
Rachel broke into laughter and soon after Kurt followed, then they were both laughing uncontrollably. When they fell into silence, Kurt sighed, the reality hitting him once more.
"I'm just so confused."
Rachel bit her lip. "I know."
"What do I do, Rach?"
"Only you can answer that." She smiled sadly. "But I think I know how to help. I kinda owe you after everything you've done for me."
"What do you have in mind?" Kurt asked hesitantly.
"A double date." Rachel beamed.
"Are you kidding? You're not kidding."
"Come on, it will be a fun night out." She encouraged.
"For who?"
Rachel rolled her eyes. "Unlimited breadsticks."
Kurt chuckled but ended up reluctantly agreeing to the double date, despite Rachel insisting on planning everything which usually went pretty well: i.e. The Rachel Berry House Party Train Wreck Extravaganza from Rachel's perspective or absolutely terribly: i.e. The Rachel Berry House Party Train Wreck Extravaganza from Kurt's perspective. Though Kurt made her pinky promise not to interrogate Sebastian about his past, his motivations or his feelings for Kurt. She agreed even more reluctantly.
Although now they had to get Sebastian on board without him realising what exactly he was signing himself up for.
Sebastian immediately knew something was up by the way Kurt approached him at the lockers the next morning, all warm smiles and hesitance, it was obvious he was building up to ask something.
"Hey you."
"Good morning." Sebastian smiled, happy to go along with whatever this was for the moment. "You're in a good mood."
"Is there a reason I shouldn't be?" Kurt shrugged.
Sebastian screwed up his lips. "No, I'm very glad to see it back, actually."
Kurt rolled his eyes fondly. "And how are you?"
"I'm okay, the swelling has finally started to go down, and people have stopped staring so much." Sebastian said, gesturing to his face.
"Does it still hurt if I prod it?" Kurt teased, reaching his hand up to touch Sebastian's face in what was undeniably a caress. Sebastian flinched a little at the small ache, but let Kurt's hand rest there anyway.
"Only a little." He joked back.
They stared at each other, grinning like dorks until eventually Kurt dropped his hand and shifted somewhat uncomfortably.
"What is it?" Sebastian asked.
"Huh?" Kurt replied, his mouth falling open.
"It's blindingly obvious you want to ask me something. I mean, I know I'm hot stuff and all but you don't have to be nervous." He teased, a flirtatious edge to his tone in an effort to fluster Kurt, though he didn't realise just how much his words would bother him until he saw the furious blush appear on his cheekbones and travel down his neck, disappearing under his shirt.
Kurt laughed uneasily. "It's nothing."
"So there is something?"
Kurt sighed. "Yes. Okay, Rachel wants to know if you'll come to Breadstix tomorrow night with Finn and Rachel and me."
Sebastian raised his eyebrows. "Are you- are you asking me out on a date, Kurt Hummel?"
Kurt blushed impossibly harder. "No. Absolutely not. Besides it was Rachel's idea, I had nothing to do with it."
"Okay." He chuckled.
"Okay?"
"Okay, yes, I'll go."
Kurt looked so relieved and Sebastian wondered how he could ever doubt that Sebastian would say yes.
"So tomorrow at eight? I'll pick you up?" Kurt asked.
"It's a date." Sebastian added, he couldn't resist. It was totally worth it for the way Kurt gawked at him and smacked his arm.
Sebastian would forever deny the amount of time which it took for him to choose an outfit for his double date. He wanted to impress Kurt, but considering Kurt's consistent vocal objections to most of the things which he wore, the task was proving more difficult than he wished.
He went through at least a dozen outfit changes, near pulling his hair out before deciding on a neglected light blue button down and a pair of dark tight jeans which he knew made his ass look incredible. With the limited time he still had, he tried to fix the chaos that was his hair and then went to sit on the doorstep until Kurt arrived.
Rachel and Finn were already in the foyer of Breadstix when Kurt and Sebastian arrived, they each greeted Kurt with a hug but seemed unsure of how to greet Sebastian. Finn settled on a handshake and a pat on the back and Rachel ended up loosely hugging Sebastian then fumbling furiously afterwards, but it served to break the tension nonetheless.
They were lead to a booth by an over-friendly waitress with vibrant wavy red hair. They settle quickly, with Kurt sat next to Sebastian with Rachel opposite and Finn by her side. They wasted no time in ordering a basket of breadsticks for the table before they had even opened their menus.
Sebastian asked what they recommended and Kurt told him that their pizzas were excellent and most of the pastas were okay, Finn enthused about the burgers, in particular the Gut Buster Extreme, at which Sebastian turned up his nose and asked Rachel what she was getting. Rachel explained in more words than really necessary that as a vegan she was pretty limited here so she'd probably just get a salad or something.
Sebastian eventually settled on a cheeseburger because whilst the Gut Buster Extreme sounded incredibly sickening, he kind of craved a burger now. Kurt asked Sebastian how he never been to Breadstix before and he made a comment about how his family were too rich to frequent the place, which made Rachel clench her jaw and Kurt narrow his eyes until Sebastian clarified that he was joking, and that he didn't actually know why.
"So, Sebastian." Rachel began as they waited for their food, turning her attention to the man in question and flicking her hair over her shoulder, Kurt sent her a warning glare which she ignored. "How are you finding McKinley now you've had time to settle in?"
"Well, it's different." He searched for the right words. "Academically it's much easier than Dalton, and taking a slushie to the face twice a week is still the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to me, and that is saying something, but it's better than I gave it credit for."
His honest answer seemed to both surprise and please Rachel, and Kurt thought for a second that maybe Sebastian had just unknowingly passed a step in the Rachel Berry approval test.
"That's good to hear, well, not the slushie part although I suppose it's kind of like ironic karma for-"
"Rachel." Kurt forced a smile but Sebastian laughed it off.
"She's right. I probably deserve to get slushied every day for the rest of my life for all the shit I put you through, and that's just counting the people sitting at this table."
"We forgave you for all that a long time ago, 'Bas." Kurt muttered and Rachel's eyes widened at the nickname.
"I know, it doesn't mean I've forgiven myself yet." The table was growing towards an uncomfortable tension and Sebastian sought to break it before it got too stifling. "Anyway, what is up with Mr Schue's assignment this week? Is he always like this?"
"Yeah." The three of them answered simultaneously.
"Especially when we start nearing competition time." Kurt added. "But he pushes us to where we need to go and I wouldn't wish for any other coach."
"You're so sappy." Sebastian teased.
"Whatever, we've been through more shit than you realise."
"Who knew a high school glee club would be so dramatic?"
"I certainly didn't." Finn added.
"At least I'll have a lot of material for stories to write for Broadway when we get to New York." Kurt joked.
"Always the optimist." Sebastian said.
Their food arrived soon with extra breadsticks, and the four of them fell into a rhythm of teasing and small talk with gaps of comfortable silence. It was nice. Rachel still broached questions that bordered on interrogation and Kurt tried to intercept them and change the subject before any damage could be done.
"Do you still talk to Blaine a lot, Sebastian?" She asked, stabbing at her salad mindlessly.
Sebastian side eyed Kurt before he answered. "Um, no. Not really. Or at all. I think him punching me in the face is a pretty clear statement that we aren't pals anymore."
"Woah, dude, he punched you in the face?" Finn exclaimed, Rachel looked similarly shocked.
"Yeah, not my finest hour but I was more shocked than you so I didn't manage to dodge in time." Sebastian smirked, amused.
"Kurt, why didn't you say anything?" Finn asked.
"Wasn't mine to tell." Kurt shrugged.
"It's not a big deal guys, Blaine was just angry and he took it out on me. Can you blame him?"
Rachel scrunched up her face but thankfully didn't say anything.
"He shouldn't have punched you, it was wrong." Kurt murmured.
"Thanks Kurt." Sebastian smiled back.
"You two seem pretty close now then, how did that happen?" Rachel's gaze flicked between the pair.
Sebastian shrugged and Kurt opened and closer his mouth in lieu of an answer.
"Sometimes these things just happen." Sebastian said.
"That's very ominous." Rachel prodded.
"How does anyone become friends? We got stuck together under unfortunate circumstances and after much bickering and teasing, realised we actually don't mind each other so much, right Kurt?" Sebastian expanded.
Kurt screwed up his nose as if he didn't agree at all and Sebastian's grin faltered. His glanced at Rachel from the corner of his eye and upon noticing that she was observing his reaction like it was another part of the Rachel Berry Approval Test, he decided that now was not the time to embarrass Sebastian by making this thing look one sided. Especially after the conversation he'd had with Rachel the other day.
"Something like that. Though I'm starting to think you actually liked me this entire time."
Sebastian smirked in that familiar way and Kurt couldn't even be mad about giving up his upper hand.
"You got me babe."
Kurt's face was beet red and he looked anywhere but at Sebastian. When his eyes met Rachel's he blushed even harder since she was gawking at them with no subtly whatsoever. Finn had a similar look on his face.
"I mean-" Sebastian started but Kurt rested a hand on his arm to shut him up and stop him from digging himself into an even deeper hole.
"Are you done interrogating Seb?"
Rachel lifted her chin as if she wanted to say no, but when Kurt's glare became almost threatening, she nodded.
"Good. Now let's just hang out without an agenda okay?"
Everyone nodded in agreement but nobody knew what to say. A jock in their year walked by wearing a Cleveland Indians baseball jersey, and both Finn and Sebastian tutted in disagreement simultaneously. It turned out that both Sebastian and Finn are major fans of the Cincinnati Reds which surprisingly and amusingly lead them into a lengthy and genuine conversation between the pair about their performance this season and their expectations for the semi-finals coming up next week.
Rachel took the opportunity to turn to Kurt and firstly apologize for questioning Sebastian so hard when she promised she wouldn't, which he accepted with a warning for her to not do it again. After which she relayed her shock about how different this Sebastian was, which amused Kurt more than he thought it should have, but it also warmed his heart in funny ways, especially when Rachel commented on how Sebastian had been directing 'moon eyes' at Kurt all night. He absolutely did not blush.
They were dragged from their conversation when Finn borderline shouted "dude, are you serious?" slamming his fist on the table.
"Completely." Sebastian smirked.
Neither Kurt nor Rachel had a clue what was going on, and they shot each other a look full of contemplation for how Sebastian could have changed the mood so dramatically between the pair. It made both of them feel guilty when they turned to Finn and realised he was wearing an ear splitting grin and not a scowl, and they realised they had assumed the worse from Sebastian once more. Old habits die hard.
"I don't know what to say." Finn beamed.
"What's going on?" Rachel asked, hooking her arm into Finn's.
Finn turned to Rachel with the most adorable look of childlike excitement and disbelief and Kurt had to smile at the moment because his brother was such a giant dork. "Sebastian said I can go with him to the semi-final game next week, he has front row seats, those are like, the best seats you can get, Rachel." He enthused.
"But you can't afford that?" Rachel asked.
"Its fine, it's already been paid for." Sebastian interjected.
"Are you sure, 'Bas?" Kurt asked, his eyes wide.
Sebastian turned his smile on Kurt, he was blushing slightly and Kurt realised he looked almost bashful. "Yeah, why not?"
"Wow, just. That's amazing."
Sebastian shrugged as if it was no big deal. Kurt reached over and took Sebastian's hand from where he was fiddling with a napkin and held it in his own before he really understood what he was doing. Sebastian realised the same moment Kurt did when his grip tightened just a little more, but he didn't let go, and after a moment he even relaxed his hold and turned his palm so they could properly intertwine their fingers.
They smiled bashfully at each other and Rachel practically squeaked.
"So what were you two talking about?" Sebastian asked.
"Nothing, just Glee club stuff, you know." Rachel answered before Kurt could saying anything.
Not that he would be able to speak even if he wanted to since his brain had short circuited, not able to think beyond 'oh my god, we're actually holding hands', 'I'm holding hands with Sebastian Smythe' and 'I'm holding hands with Sebastian Smythe in public, and he's blushing'.
"Why did I expect anything else?" Sebastian sighed. "Anyone for dessert?"
Finn enthusiastically agreed and ended up getting a triple chocolate fudge cake with both cream and ice cream, whilst Kurt and Sebastian split profiteroles. It became apparent soon enough that there was an uneven number and they glanced between each other and the last profiterole anxiously, kind of like the spaghetti scene from Lady and the Tramp. Rachel suggested that Sebastian should nudge over the last one with his nose, he threw her a glare but nudged the last one over with his fork anyway. Rachel counted this as another victory in her approval test, but not before she stole the last profiterole for herself whilst Kurt was still staring at Sebastian with too much intensity for someone who simply offered the last piece of dessert to him.
Rachel signalled for the bill since everyone else seemed too preoccupied. "Okay, how do we split this?" She asked, leaning across the table to study the bill.
Sebastian grabbed the paper from her hands. "It's alright, I got this."
"'Bastian no, we can't let you pay for all of this." Kurt protested.
"Why not? My family are disgustingly rich, it's the least I can do."
Kurt still looked uncomfortable but didn't argue any further. Sebastian smirked smugly, as if having to pay the entire bill was some grand prize. Rachel chuckled.
"Thanks man." Finn smiled.
Sebastian nodded and threw a bunch of bills onto the table from his wallet. "That should cover it."
He stood then and offered his hand to help Kurt out of the booth. Kurt rolled his eyes at the gesture but took his hand anyway, again he didn't let go, and Rachel made a comment that Finn was really in trouble if Sebastian was more chivalrous than him, which made Finn pout and grab Rachel's coat before she could put it on herself and hold it up for her. She narrowed her eyes at him but relented and let him help her shrug it on.
Sebastian also held the door open or everyone on the way out, still holding Kurt's hand as they made their way back to their cars.
"Thanks again for the offer." Finn smiled.
"No problem. I'll message you the details when I get home. Can I get your number?" Sebastian asked, reaching for his phone.
Finn seemed to only realise in that moment that it wasn't an empty promise and that Sebastian had in fact invited him to watch a game together. He blindly pulled his phone from his pocket and handed it to Sebastian, who typed Finn's number into his phone then handed it back.
"I'll text you when I've got the okay from my dad. It'll be no problem."
"You're pretty cool, dude." Finn said, holding his hand out for a fist bump which Sebastian gleefully returned.
"You're kinda awesome too." Sebastian smile bashfully.
Finn smiled his half smile and took a step back so Rachel could say her goodbyes.
"Well, it was surprisingly nice to spend time with you, Sebastian. Kurt is right, there is more to you than I first thought. I hope I can learn more about this Sebastian."
"Um, thank you?"
"Definitely a compliment." Kurt muttered in Sebastian's ear. "Just smile and return the favour."
"Thank you. It's been nice getting to know you too." He actually meant it.
Rachel surprised everyone by leaning up on her toes and throwing her arms around Sebastian's neck in a hug, it was still hesitant, as if she wasn't expecting it either, but also warm and friendly, and Sebastian returned it willingly.
She pulled away, embarrassed, but Sebastian's sincere smile set her at ease.
"G'night Kurt, text me later okay." She gave Kurt a lengthy and strong hug, kissed him on the cheek and walked across the lot with Finn towards their car. "See you tomorrow, Sebastian."
"Bye." He waved.
Kurt waited until they were out of sight and in his own car to speak. "Please save any bitchy comments for tomorrow."
"What? How dare you? I had a lovely night." Sebastian said defensively.
"You did?" Kurt asked with shock.
"Yeah. Did you not?"
"Of course I did. I just thought it would be hell for you." Kurt shrugged.
"Gee, thanks Kurt." Sebastian said a little coldly.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have assumed-"
"No. You shouldn't." Sebastian sighed, after a moment he added, "listen, I've had a really nice time tonight, Rachel was even kind of tolerable and I mean it when I say that Finn is a cool dude. Let's not ruin that, yeah?"
"Sure." Kurt answered, feeling shaking and breathless with the passion of Sebastian's stare. "I had a really nice time too."
They fell into silence, Kurt started the engine and pulled out of the parking lot.
"Did Rachel get the information she wanted?" Sebastian asked a few minutes into the drive.
Kurt broke into laughter. "She's the least subtle person I've ever known. It's hard to tell though, I don't know what she was looking for, but I think you passed."
"Oh thank god, now I can sleep easy knowing I have Rachel Berry's approval." Sebastian joked.
"It is very important."
"I honestly didn't think she'd drop the hostility towards me that quickly."
"It may or may not have something to do with a conversation we had the other day." Kurt admitted.
"Oh yeah?" Sebastian prodded.
"I'm not disclosing any details."
"Maybe I'll just ask Rachel."
"She wouldn't betray my trust like that." Kurt said with certainty.
"I have blackmail material." Sebastian countered.
"That would just make you look like an asshole. Is it really worth it?"
"I don't know, that depends on what you said." He tried.
"Nice try." Kurt smirked.
Sebastian threw his head back against the headrest and Kurt laughed. He pulled the car over outside Sebastian's house.
"Here we are, now get out of my car." He said with no animosity.
"Rude much?"
Kurt only smiled cheekily in return.
"Alright. Goodnight, Kurt." Sebastian said.
His eyes flickered between Kurt's and his lips rapidly. Kurt held his breath when Sebastian leaned in closer. When Sebastian was within brushing distance Kurt closed his eyes and waited for the inevitable. Sebastian paused, his breath brushing across Kurt's cheek, he muttered something close to 'fuck it' and pressed a firm but quick kiss to the corner of Kurt's mouth. He pulled away but didn't go far. Kurt still hadn't opened his eyes, hadn't said a word.
Sebastian was out of the door and running across the lawn before Kurt could even reply.