Cate and Baze sat on Cate's couch watching a soap opera and mocking it mercilessly. They were at Cate's house in the middle of the day. Lux was running a fever and neither of them had wanted to leave her even though they knew Ellen was more than capable of caring for her.
After several panic-stricken calls to the pediatrician, Lux finally seemed to be resting peacefully. She'd been up all night crying. Cate hadn't been able to figure out what was wrong. She'd tried everything that normally calmed Lux down and her daughter had still been giving her lungs quite an exercise.
Eventually Laverne had come in. She'd instantly realized that Lux had a temperature. Cate was grateful, but she was also slightly angry that her mother had been able to pick up on something she hadn't. Lux was her daughter. Shouldn't Cate be the one to know what was wrong? Where were her maternal instincts?
When Cate had called Baze's to tell Ellen she didn't need to watch Lux that day, Baze had answered the phone. As soon as he heard how sick Lux was and how upset Cate was, he'd jumped in the car and headed for Cate's house.
"It's time for her medicine," Cate said, glancing at the clock. She'd been following the pediatrician's instructions to the letter. She'd also been checking Lux's temperature every hour.
"Don't wake her up! She's finally asleep," Baze said, horrified. He wanted his daughter to get some rest, but he also didn't know how much more crying he could take. He'd kept thinking Lux would get tired eventually and stop crying, but the baby had seemed determined to prove him wrong.
"She needs her medicine," Cate said, glaring at Baze.
"We can give it to her when she wakes up," Baze replied. Although he was more easygoing now that Lux was sleeping peacefully, he'd been just as freaked out as Cate when Lux had been crying earlier. He'd never seen his daughter like that before.
Lux was a good baby. Like any baby, she cried, but she usually quieted as soon as one of her parents comforted her. It had killed Baze when he'd been unable to comfort her that morning. He would have done anything to make her stop crying. And not just because it was giving him a headache. Baze, however, had taken the doctor at his word that it was nothing to worry about, while Cate was still in freak-out mode.
Cate looked unconvinced. Her eyes wide, she met Baze's gaze. "But what if she gets worse? Baze, what if she has to go back to the hospital? She's already spent so much of her life there." Cate's voice was shaky and Baze could tell she was on the verge of tears.
Baze's expression softened. He reached for Cate's hand. "Cate, that's not gonna happen."
"You don't know that," Cate said quietly.
"No." Baze raked a hand through his hair. He hated being reminded of how sick his baby girl had been. Even more than that, he hated knowing that he hadn't been there for her at first. He should have been there. He hated himself for not being there. For letting Cate take care of their daughter on her own. For letting his own daughter go without a father when she needed one most. "But I know my dad hired the best cardiac surgeon in Oregon to take care of her. Her heart, it's better."
"Yeah," Cate mumbled.
Baze waited for her to meet his gaze. "I can't tell you she's not gonna get sick ever again. But when she does, it's not gonna be like last time. We'll all get through it together."
Cate smiled slightly. "As a family."
Baze nodded.
Cate hesitated. She'd been waiting for the right time to ask Baze if he wanted to live together next year. She didn't know why she'd had such a hard time getting up the nerve to ask. She knew he loved her. He'd want to live together, Cate told herself. Still, in the back of her mind she feared that he wouldn't want to. That he wouldn't want her. She wrung her hands in her lap nervously. "I was thinking, you know, that we could get our own place next year. You, me and Lux. Lux, she deserves to have a family that's together."
Baze stared at Cate. He definitely hadn't been expecting that. Now that he thought about it, he didn't know why the idea came as such a shock. It made sense for them to move in together. He loved her. And he wanted to be with his kid. What better way to do that than live with her? He began to feel kind of excited.
Cate waited for Baze to answer. She took his silence as a bad sign. She swallowed a lump in the back of her throat. "Or not. I mean, if you don't want to, I totally understand," she said quickly, struggling to keep her voice even.
"No, I want to," Baze said gently. He smiled. "I do. It's just, I hadn't even started thinking about where I was gonna live," he added with a laugh.
Cate forced herself to smile, though she still wasn't sure if Baze really wanted to live together or if he was just trying not to hurt her feelings. It bothered her that it had taken him so long to answer.
Baze was able to read Cate like a book by now. He could always tell when she was acting tough, but hurting inside. He'd seen her do it enough times by now. He engulfed her in his arms. "I love you. And I love Lux. I want to be with you…with both of you. We should live together," he said softly. "I wanna do this."
His words were so gentle, so kind, so loving. Cate knew he was being honest. She leaned in to his arms. She was exhausted after being up with Lux most of the night. It felt so good to just lean on Baze for support and comfort.
Last night she'd wanted Baze to be there so badly. She knew if he had been, he'd be able to make her feel better. He always seemed to know just what to say. She'd picked up the phone to call him several times, but decided against it. She didn't think Ellen and John would appreciate her calling in the middle of the night. The way she'd felt being alone last night had made her even more certain that she wanted to live with Baze.
Even before he'd known her, he'd been able to talk her into the back of his mom's minivan when she'd been upset about Frankie Palladino ditching her and wanted nothing more than to get out of there. He was charming. Effortlessly so. He had a way about him of making people feel at ease even when they were anything but.
Now that he knew her-her likes and dislikes, her hopes and fears-and was actually trying to charm her, Cate doubted if there was anything he couldn't get her to do, including calm down when she was in crisis mode because Lux was sick. Surprisingly, it didn't bother Cate that he knew her so well. Usually she pushed people away for fear of losing them. She didn't want people to see how afraid she was. She'd given up on keeping Baze at arm's distance long ago.
Baze knew her, probably better than anyone. When he looked into her eyes, she felt as though he could see into her soul.
"I love you, too," Cate murmured.
Cate drifted off to sleep in Baze's arms. Baze smiled as he watched her sleep. He knew she'd had a rough night. He felt slightly guilty for not being there. He'd been sound asleep while Cate was worried sick about their daughter. That would never happen again. From now on, he would always be there for them. Living together would help ensure he could keep the promise he was making to himself.
If Cate had been this upset over a fever, Baze couldn't even begin to imagine what it must have been like for her when she'd found out Lux had a heart defect. It killed him to know she'd been all alone.
Baze closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the couch cushions. He tried to imagine how he would have felt if he'd been in Cate's shoes. He couldn't even fathom going through something like that alone. As rocky as his relationship with his dad had been, he knew without question his dad would have been there for him. What kind of a mother would let their kid deal with that alone?
Cate's mom had, Baze knew. He couldn't believe Laverne. How could Cate be such a great mom to Lux when she'd had Laverne as an example? Baze knew Cate would be there for Lux no matter what. He knew he'd do anything for Lux. How could you have a kid and not be there for them?
Baze heard a rustling in Lux's playpen. He opened his eyes. He moved quickly, wanting to get to the baby before she woke Cate up.
Baze gently shifted Cate's head to the arm of the couch as he got up. In one swift movement, he was standing over Lux's playpen. He'd been right. She'd just woken up. He didn't know how he'd known. He just had.
Baze picked Lux up and carried her into the kitchen, so they wouldn't wake Cate. "Hey. How you feeling?" He said softly.
He retrieved Lux's medicine from the kitchen counter and prepared a spoonful. He'd been in charge of giving it to her, mainly because he'd been able to make the baby laugh and slip the medicine in while her mouth was open, whereas Cate hadn't had much luck.
Baze made silly faces until Lux giggled and then made his move. "You are such a good girl!" He said as she swallowed a spoonful of the medicine.
He delivered a loud, smacking kiss to her face. He could taste the cherry medicine, which Lux had managed to get all over her mouth. Baze grinned as he gently wiped Lux's mouth clean. "I hope you got enough of it in your mouth to make you better. Yeah, daddy doesn't like it when you're sick."
Cate stirred. She looked around, confused. She didn't see Baze or Lux. She sat bolt upright on the couch. Where could they be? Had Lux gotten worse? Did Baze take her to the hospital or something?
Cate heard noises in the kitchen and hurried in. She breathed sigh of relief when she saw Baze playing with Lux. She glared at Baze, hands on her hips. "You scared me half to death."
Baze frowned, confused.
"I woke up and Lux was gone," Cate said, staring at him. "I thought something had happened."
Baze opened his mouth in mock shock. He turned to Lux with wide eyes. "No! I would never let anything happen to you!" He grinned. "Tell Mommy we were hanging out in here so she could sleep because she had bags under her eyes." Lux giggled.
Cate rolled her eyes. "Did you give Lux her medicine?"
Baze looked slightly annoyed. "Yeah. I took care of it. I can take care of her, Cate. You don't have to do everything!"
Cate smiled slightly. "I know." She sat down beside Baze at the kitchen table. "Thank you."
Baze knew she was thanking him for being there. He hated that she felt like she had to thank him, but he knew it was his own fault for not being there the first time Lux was sick. Now she didn't expect him to be there. "Of course," he said.
