Thank you, Castiel's drycleaner, for your support and for being an awesome Beta.

And thank you to my reviewers of Chapter 7: Deth Faenim, Ectofralamazoo, Thornangel, gottalovealoser, LaylaBinx, DeceptionsDance, LaVioleBlanche, DevilChile, SivanShemesh3 and Riley Carbine. I love reading what you think about my story.

YAY! You guys got me to over 60 reviews. Awesome! Thank you. Lets keep going.

And to gottalovealoser: I miss your d-message but I enjoy hearing about it the day after. It always has me laughing. Thank you.

To all of you who love long chapters, here you go!

By the way, there are some awesome stories that I have on alert. If you're interested, check out: Hell hath no fury by gottalovealoser, Before and After Death by Castiel's drycleaner, Calvin Klein and Big Cats by Ectofralamazoo, Fear of the Unknown by Alex Kade, An Asssassin's Love by amberlovespeaceX, Becoming A Loser by Ash. A. Leah, Prom Night by DevilChile, Sixty Days in Exile by Mahiri Chuma, The Hat by Shady Carson, The World on Fire byAgaetis Byrjun, Finding Yourself by X-Sadistic-Bitch-X, I've been hard to reach & They Would Have by staytruetoyou, Not Belong by sivanshemesh3 and What the Heart Wants by HeavensWeatherHellsCompany.

I'm sorry, I know that's a lot. I can't help it. I love Loser fics. But I need your help. Some of the authors are great at updating but some of them need a little help so if you read, please review and tell them that we want more. Tell them they can blame me. Thank you for all your help.

Jensen's Petunia

It had been twelve hours, twelve long excruciating hours waiting for Jensen to come back to them. To come back to him.

Cougar had not moved once, not even to pee. He'd made that particular mistake once before. He still had his body snuggled up next to Jensen's with his arm wrapped around the catatonic blonde. The serious sniper had never, in his entire life, been as afraid as he was now. Not even when he was abducted by the Honduran General and tortured viciously for six days with no knowledge of where his team was or if they were even alive. The only fear that even came close was the fear that Cougar had felt when Jensen had…he hated to think the word 'fainted' because he knew that Jake would refuse to admit it…but well, fainted when Cougar had told him that he loved him.

Jensen, with the exception of his steady breathing, had not moved nor made a sound the entire twelve hours. Cougar would have been as restless and as anxious as a caged, well cougar, if not for Jensen's steady breathing. That was all the proof he needed that Jensen could and would make it back to him.

He just wished that it wasn't taking the hacker so long. He missed Jensen's voice. He missed all the rambling one-sided conversations that always went off on tangents and never resumed their original course. He missed the way Jensen would pinch the bridge of his nose when he was stressed. Cougar also missed Jensen's sleepwalking/talking. It may have been inconvenient and somewhat annoying trying to corral a non-filtered Jensen stuck in his subconscious, but to be fair, Jensen's brain to mouth filter didn't work properly when he was conscious.

Cougar rested himself up on his left elbow so that he could look into Jensen's still blue eyes yet again. He's lost count of how many times he'd done this through the night. He never received any response. Yet he would look into Jensen's eyes, rub his chest and stomach with his right hand and whisper to Jensen, "No puedo perder de te. Sólo realmente he encontrado le. Por favor, vuelva a mí." (I can't lose you. I've just truly found you. Please come back to me.)

Though they did not know what it was Cougar was whispering to Jensen, they knew those words were important for they were the only words Cougar had spoken since they had returned to the campsite.

However, they had had many words during the last twelve hours. Clay, Roque and Pooch had been too wired, pissed and worried to sleep. Even Roque, who barely tolerated Jensen on a daily basis, kept looking worriedly over at him and mumbling, "Come on, kid. Wake up!"

Despite their worry for Jensen, the men also had the upcoming mission on their mind.

"How the hell are we supposed to do this Colonel?" Poor Pooch had scratched his bald head so much over the past twelve hours that he'd drawn blood over ten percent of his scalp and didn't even notice.

"Shit, I don't know Pooch. But we have to come up with something." Clay looked over to Cougar's bedroll for what had to be the ten-thousandth time since returning to the clearing. Jensen still hadn't moved and Cougar was lying down beside him yet again.

Roque followed Clay's eyes to the other two men and just realized that something was different. "Hey, where's Cougar's hat?"

Pooch was the one who answered though, not Clay. "Cougar took it off two minutes ago. Look at Jensen's left hand."

Clay and Roque followed Pooch's direction. Cougar had placed his hat in Jensen's left hand so that Jensen could feel both the brim and the crown. Pooch smiled bitter-sweetly. "I guess Cougs is hoping that even though Jensen isn't seeing anything right now, he can still feel. Maybe Jensen will feel the hat and wonder why they hell he's being allowed to touch it. Maybe he'll be shocked out of his state of shock!"

Pooch was getting excited. And not for the first time that day. Every time Cougar tried something new with Jensen, Pooch would get his hopes up. But nothing that Cougar tried had worked so far. So Pooch would get depressed and once again begin scratching his scalp.

Clay and Roque looked at Pooch with a combination of hope and pity in their eyes. Hope that he may be right but pity because they knew that most likely he would be disappointed.

Roque shook his head. They had to focus here. "Damn it!" He did not want to say what he was about to say. "We have to figure out what to do. We need to complete our mission and get Jensen some help."

For the first time in Roque's life, he wanted to say screw the mission. Jensen needed help and he needed it now. They could't wait until after they completed the mission. That was if they even survived. It would only be the three of them when the original plan would have had six men, two of which were snipers.

"Fuck the mission." Clay's face was a mask of fury. "They screwed it up when they sent us a fucking unhinged nutcase to work with. We can get them Salvador some other time. After we get Jensen some help."

"No."

Clay, Roque and Pooch froze. They turned as one to face Cougar.

Cougar was sitting with his back against the tree behind his bedroll. Jensen's head was resting in Cougar's lap. The sniper was looking at them with a severely serious look in his eyes. "We know why they want Salvador. The man's a monster. He needs to be stopped."

They all knew Cougar was right. But it was suicide for the three of them to attempt it. As if reading their minds, Cougar continued. "I know how the four of us can do it."

"The four of us?" Pooch looked at Cougar in surprise.

Clay didn't. He sighed deeply as he thought of the plan Cougar probably had in mind.

Roque nodded. He thought he also knew what Cougar might be thinking.

Pooch however, hadn't gotten past 'the four of us'. "Cougar, what are you talking about? We can't leave Jensen alone. It's too dangerous. We can't take him with us. It's too dangerous. We-"

"Jensen will be safe here." Cougar was staring down at Jensen with a tender look in his dark eyes.

Before Pooch could get a word out, Clay began speaking. "Cougar's right. Wolfe is no longer a concern. And this clearing is far enough away from the fortress to be safe. If we erect the tent and put Jensen in it while we're gone, he should be safe from both the elements and the animals."

Clay knew that this was going to be hard for Cougar. Normally Clay would have an emotionally distracted soldier stand down on a mission. But, if they had any hope of surviving they would need Cougar's help.

"Fuck!" Pooch looked at the others. "What about that prick? Mission control wanted him back alive. Remember? They even ordered no missing body parts. Well now he's dead and missing a very specific body part. What are we gonna do about him?"

Cougar looked at his teammates. "I will tell them that I-"

"When we debrief on our mission we'll tell them that he died in the course of it." Clay's tone of voice left no room for argument.

Roque nodded. "He did die during a mission."

At every one's quizzical looks Roque elaborated. "He apparently had his own mission since the first moment he stepped into this clearing. Probably since he first accepted the mission to capture Salvador. "

Pooch still looked a bit confused. The poor man needed food, sleep and for Jensen to wake up.

"We all saw how Wolfe looked at Jensen. I'm betting that's the reason why we're here so damn early. I don't know how he did it, but he got mission control to agree to get us here four days ahead of the mark so he could get Jensen." Roque couldn't figure out who Wolfe was that he would have such pull. What he needed was Jensen to work his magic on his computer and get them some answers. Jensen…wake up kid. We need you.

"Yes." Cougar had already thought of that the second that Wolfe had said they were there to learn each other's weaknesses and strengths. That was just a load of crock. As Jensen liked to say. Likes to say. Likes. He's not dead. He's not!

"Okay. Wolfe died during the mission." Pooch couldn't help but ask his next question. "And how exactly are we gonna end up not dead after this mission?"

Clay nodded. "Cougar?"

Cougar stopped running his hand through Jensen's spikes so that he could fully focus while telling them his plan. "We get Salvador as soon as he arrives. Before he enters the fortress. If we can without being seen, we plant bombs all around the fortress walls and trigger them to explode at the same time. Thus causing mass chaos. Pooch and I shoot cover fire as Roque and Clay grab Salvador. If we cannot plant the bombs, we throw grenades rapid fire."

The other three men digest this information. It sounded like a good plan. But it would work out much better if they were able to plant the bombs. They could place them where they would take out the highest number of guards. That way there would be less of them to shoot and to fight with in hand-to-hand combat.

"We need intel from Mission Control on when to expect Salvador. Pooch," Clay began dispensing orders, "contact them and find out all you can. Roque, you and I will take an updated inventory of our weapons and ammunition. Get anything useful from Wolfe's things." Clay turned towards Cougar. "Cougar, you can set up the tent for Jensen. It might be more comfortable for him and encourage him to come back to us faster."

Cougar dislodged Jensen from his lap and set his head comfortably back on the bedroll. He had just withdrawn his hands from Jensen's body and stood up when Jensen bolted upright and made a grab for Cougar. The shaking, frightened hacker screamed. "Don't leave me Cougar. I need you!"

Everyone reacted as if a nuclear bomb had gone off. Pooch dropped the radio he was about to transmit on and rushed to Jensen's side. Roque and Clay dropped the weapons they were beginning to sift through and ran to where the other men were.

As soon as Jensen moved, Cougar reacted. He was back on his knees and holding Jensen to him. He was gently rocking the man in his arms back and forth while murmuring things such as, "Shh. I'm here." and "I'll never leave you. Never!"

A trembling Jensen was holding onto Cougar as if Cougar were his life-force. Were he to let go, he would die.

They all remained quiet as Jensen calmed down. Jensen stopped trembling after a few minutes of being held and surrounded by one-half of the most important people in his life. When the terror and stress of the previous twenty-four hours no longer had him locked within his own mind, Jensen smiled tentatively at his friends.

They all smiled back, unsure of what he needed them to do at this moment.

"Hey guys." Jensen was unsure of what to say next. A first for him. Even in the direst of situations, he always had a smart-ass comment to lighten the mood. There was one thing that he felt he had to say before he could say anything else. "Thanks for coming to get me."

"Jensen." They all said it. However, they all said it with different inflections.

Cougar said it on a sigh as if he had expected Jensen to say something like that.

Pooch said it with a question at the end as if Jensen was just being plain stupid if he thought they wouldn't come for him.

Roque said it with a growl as if to say he was being ridiculous for thanking them for such a thing.

Clay said it as a father would say his son's name when the son had gotten into trouble and needed to be bailed out.

"Are you okay? Stupid question. How do you feel?" Pooch was trying to keep his voice calm and steady but was having trouble. Just remembering what he had seen when they first reached Jensen was upsetting him again.

"I'm okay. Now that I'm back with you guys, I'm okay." Jensen still had not let go of Cougar.

And Cougar was not letting go of him.

"What do you remember Jensen?" Clay wanted to know if Jensen was back with them. Going into Sub-space is a survival instinct. Coming back out of it, especially after so long, could be very confusing.

Jensen took a deep breath. He shut his eyes as he relieved his horrifying memories. "I remember that Cougar loves me as I love him." He smiled brightly as he kept his eyes shut.

Cougar smiled as the others looked at Jensen expectantly. They were waiting for the pain and horror to begin.

"We came back to the clearing and went to sleep." Jensen frowned. "Then I remember waking up to a sharp pain in my neck. A hand covered my mouth and then nothing until I'm with Wolfe somewhere in the jungle. He…" Jensen took a deep breath before he continued. "He cut off my clothes. I tried to move and to scream but I couldn't. All I could do was see, hear and feel. I couldn't move. I wanted to fight. I needed to fight so badly but I couldn't."

Jensen's eyes flew open and searched out Cougar's. "I tried to scream for you Cougar. I did. I screamed as loud as I could in my own mind but I couldn't get my voice to do the same. It wouldn't obey me. My body wouldn't obey me either. I wanted to fight. I did. I really did. You know that right Cougar? You know that I wanted to fight him?"

Cougar rubbed Jensen back as he tried to calm him down. "I know amor. I know."

Pooch also stepped in to reassure Jensen. "It wasn't your fault you couldn't fight J-man. He paralyzed you. With a drug that made it so you wouldn't be able to move but you would be able to hear, see and feel just like you said."

Jensen smiled, "I knew that had to be it. I knew it." Then his smile faded. "I didn't want him to touch me. I never wanted him to touch me."

Cougar nodded as he said once again, "I know amor. I know."

Jensen started shaking. "He, he wanted to rape me. He wanted to 'claim' me before you did. Said you could have me when he was done, if you still wanted me. He…he took me into his mouth. But he didn't arouse me and got pissed. He hit me. Then tried again. I still didn't respond like he wanted me to."

Jensen had tears running down his cheeks. But the others didn't mention them. He needed to release what he was feeling. Needed to get it out like it was a poison infecting his system. And they would let him. They would listen until he was all talked and cried out. Then they would comfort him some more. And help him start to heal. Start to put it behind him. Start to forget. Because they were a family. Not just a military unit. Not just friends. A family.

But Jensen would never forget. It would pain him less as he learned to move on, but he would never forget. Never!

Jensen started groaning a little. "I couldn't stay there. I couldn't. I had to leave. Not being able to fight or scream or do anything to help myself…I had to leave. I couldn't stay there."

They all knew he was talking about Sub-space.

Jensen started shaking fiercely. "Do you Carlos?"

Cougar looked down at Jensen as if he wasn't sure of what Jensen was asking. Surely he didn't think that what happened would change the way I feel.

"Do I what Jake?" He needed to hear Jensen say it for he still couldn't believe that Jensen thought what he was thinking.

Jensen looked up at Cougar with trepidation in his eyes. "Do you still want me? Now that he's had me first and ruined what should have been yours."

Pain and tears filled Cougar's eyes. He took Jensen's chin in his hand and made sure that Jensen was looking him in the eyes. "No matter what he did to you, you are mine. MINE! Do you understand that Jake?"

Jensen smiled as he looked at Cougar's determined face. He read the truth of what he said right there. Although Cougar would never lie to him anyway. Never. "Yes, Carlos. I understand."

Cougar nodded his head sharply as if to punctuate Jensen's statement.

"Jensen."

Jensen turned to look at Roque.

"Jensen, he didn't rape you."

"What?"

"He didn't rape you. He never had the chance." Roque looked Jensen hard in the eyes.

Roque wouldn't lie to him about this.

"Yeah Jensen." Pooch continued Roque's thought. "We must have gotten there right after you went into Sub-space. When we arrived, Wolfe was…trying to arouse you. When it didn't work, he hit you."

"So he didn't…"

"No Jensen." Clay took his turn to speak. "He wasn't able to. We got there. Cougar got him away from you and Roque and Pooch checked you out. All you had were some hickies, some bruises and some saliva on your…ah…dick."

Jensen turned back to Cougar. "What did you do to him?"

Cougar didn't hesitate as he answered, "I killed him. Slowly. Painfully. He should not have touched you."

"Yeah," Roque laughed. "Then he sliced off his dick!" He continued to chuckle.

Jensen looked around at their faces. "What happened then? Did you leave him there? What if someone finds him? What if…saliva? I have his saliva on me? I need to-"

Cougar calmed Jensen at once. "No amor. I took care of it. I bathed you in the spring."

Jensen began to relax as he trusted Cougar to make sure that he was clean. He looked under his shirt and could see that the hickies were already fading. That's good. Fade bitches fade. No reminders. We'll be home in a few days. I don't want Carlos to be reminded.

"How about some grub?" Pooch was hungry but his main reason for mentioning food was to give Cougar and Jensen some time to themselves. "What do you say Colonel? Roque? Are you guys hungry? I sure am. Cougar? Jensen? You hungry? I'm gonna go make some food. Colonel, Roque would you help me?" Before they could respond, Pooch was already halfway across the clearing, heading towards the supplies-filled jeep. "Thanks. Let's go."

Cougar and Jensen watched the others walk away to leave them with some privacy. Jensen couldn't help but notice the scratches on Pooch's head. "Pooch man, what happened to your head?"

Pooch turned back around for a minute as he answered Jensen. "A spider man. It was crawling on me and I had to get it off before it laid eggs."

Jensen didn't look convinced. He knew Pooch tended to scratch his head when he was worried or stressed. Today must have been hard on all of them.

As the others prepared their meal, Cougar and Jensen did not speak much. Mostly they held each other and took comfort in the fact that they were there together.

Pooch, Clay and Roque brought over the food and they ate mostly in silence. When they were finished eating the meal, the men told Jensen of their plans for the mission. Including the bit about leaving him behind in the tent to recuperate.

He told them under no circumstances was he being left behind while they went off on a foolish, suicidal mission without him. Jensen then said that it would be much better for three people to be laying down cover fire for Clay and Roque than just two.

After a slight nod from Cougar, that Jensen did not see, they all agreed. The plan was set. They just needed to figure out when would be the time to spring it.

They all passed out not long after eating. With Wolfe dead and the fortress a safe distance away, they didn't feel the need to place a guard on watch. It was highly non-protocol, but they all needed the sleep.

Jensen fell asleep in Cougar's arms as they both laid within Cougar's bedroll. It was sweet to see the bigger man being cradled by the smaller man.

After a few hours of sleep, Jensen woke up from a dream that had him determined to find answers. He carefully slipped out of Cougar's arms and headed for his laptop. He glanced back at Cougar as he excitedly thought about how he'd just proven that the sniper did in fact have the ability to sleep.

What he didn't realize was that the moment he moved, Cougar woke up. But he let Jensen slip out of his grip and go to his computer. The poor hacker was probably going through withdrawal from being away from it for so long.

Cougar kept his eyes slitted so that he could watch for any sign that Jensen needed him. But the hacker didn't. Cougar fell back asleep after he felt certain that Jensen would be content with being on his computer for a few hours.

What Cougar didn't see was the look of horror that crossed Jensen's face when he finally found the answers he was looking for.

TBC in Chapter 9.