I managed a part two! Yay! Lemacd- I hope you enjoy. She's not Mary, but…
Thank you again to my beta. Betaing for me normally takes me forever and a couple of people but with both parts of this fic she has been ready to go so I could get them up when I wanted. I love her very much.
This is also for my twin downtoncottage. I can't believe yesterday happened!
Sleep evaded him. A quick glance over to his bedside table told him it was gone two in the morning. Anna slumbered quietly at his side, snuffling once in a while with the faintest hints of a smile pulling at her lips. He had checked on Esme mere minutes ago. She too was deep in sleep and dreaming (like her Mamma in more than just looks, that one). His hand, resting naturally on Anna's bump, had not felt the trace of a kick in over an hour. The Bateses were all well and truly asleep, except for John.
Tomorrow- or rather, today- was finally the day of Esme's first nativity. And John Bates was nervous.
The sense of nervous excitement had been building in him since that afternoon. Firstly he found himself taking a quick peek at her costume after dinner. Just making sure, he had told Anna as she smirked and rolled her eyes, wouldn't want the Second Camel to have any wardrobe disasters. Then he flicked through the script that had been sent home. It was only a few pages long (a nursery nativity, he reminded himself) but no point in not doing things properly. It was only when he began to test Esme on her (single) line that Anna interfered.
"John, she's three. She's the Second Camel and she has one line. She's your daughter. She'll be fine."
He was rather affronted by that. Someone had changed their tune.
"What happened to the whole first nativity malarkey, eh love?" he remarked, eyebrow raised but script sheepishly lowered.
"I still care, John, but she's the Second Camel," Anna quipped back, hoisting Esme onto her hip and John couldn't help but snigger. He wasn't sure that would ever get old.
"Just once for me?" he asked, pouting slightly (never let it be said that John Bates didn't learn from his wife) and pinching Esme's nose.
"Come on then, Esme, do your line once for Daddy," Anna sighed. He smiled proudly.
"The donkey, the camels and the sheep all watched over baby Jesus carefully…" John began, pausing for Esme to deliver her line. Esme blinked.
"Your turn, sweetie," Anna encouraged, moving Esme forward slightly.
"You can do this, little love," John added, "shall we do it together? It wasn't long before…" Esme buried her face into her mother's neck.
"I don't think we'll get anywhere with this tonight," Anna smiled, "Off to bed then!"
"Poor thing's forgotten!" John said worriedly, "It's okay sweetheart, we can practise some more. I'll say it again-"
"John! She's shattered, not to mention only three years old," Anna sighed. He was incorrigible, and she loved him for it. She couldn't have a better husband, and Esme couldn't have a better Daddy. In his defense, he looked thoroughly chastened.
"You're right. I'm sorry." He leant forward and kissed Esme's forehead, before kissing his wife.
"I didn't mean to snap, John," Anna apologised, "but she'll really be fine. She's your daughter, after all. Being an orator is in her genes."
"And you call me the charmer!"
The nervousness had continued long after Esme was asleep. What if she didn't know her line? What if she forgot it on stage and became upset because of it? She was only three after all. How obscene to expect a three year old to perform memorised lines?
Anna had tried to distract him by putting on the next episode of the crime drama they were into at the moment. She'd made him a cup of tea, then hot chocolate and even added a biscuit. Eventually, used to his brooding ways but sighing dramatically, she had resorted to distraction of another kind. She had succeeded (if anything could take his mind off something that could), but not two hours later and he was back to his nervous brooding once more.
Perhaps others would think him silly. Even he was beginning to wonder the same thing. But he wanted everything to be perfect for Esme- and Anna.
Their trip to parenthood hadn't been a walk in the park. He didn't like to think of it, remembering only wracking sobs (he didn't know she could clutch at his shoulders with such power and need of strength). Disappointment. Tests. Clinics. Diagnosis. But then- a miracle. Second time round they had been more prepared, but Esme was their wonder. Their dream. Something they had resigned themselves to being content without, and John never wanted any moment to be less than perfect. Nappies, night feeds, nativities and all.
A small hand on his cheek broke his introspective soliloquy. He peered through the darkness to see the sleepy eyes of his wife regarding him warily.
"You woke me with your brooding, Mr Bates," she whispered, stroking his cheek gently, "Did I not tire you out?"
"Sorry, love. You know me."
"All too well, I'm afraid," she kissed his shoulder, "what's the matter?"
The quiet of night was heavy. He sighed.
"Please don't say you're worrying about Esme. She's going to be a right little star, even if she isn't…well, even if she isn't an actual star."
"I know. I just want this to be perfect for you," he wasn't sure why they were whispering.
"But it will be. It's our little girl. She's always going to be perfect," she kissed his neck, running a hand across his chest reassuringly.
"I'll not forget that, Mrs Bates. Next time she does the screaming thing I'll remind you of her perfection," he teased. Anna pushed herself up to look down at him.
"You don't regret it, do you? Any of it?" she wondered aloud, eyes searching his for the slightest hesitation. He gave her none.
"How could you ask that, love?" Did she truly believe he could regret anything from the moment he met her?
"I know I can be so insistent. I've been a woman possessed about this nativity. And the nursery," she eased herself down beside him, sighing. "I can see now it is perfect for her. I didn't think I was ready, but I was never really going to be."
"Oh Anna, my love. I understand your every reason," he murmured, pulling her into a firm hug, more sophisticated and reassuring words evading him.
"I love you, John," she whispered thickly into his chest.
"I love you too, Anna."
In the end the hours of sleep he gained tangled around Anna were well worth it. The company's new client was causing unforeseen trouble, and Robert was adamant that John take on the case. With his workload doubled he had had to work twice as fast to make it out in time to catch Esme's nativity. Esme would forget if he missed it, and Anna would forgive but he certainly wouldn't be able to do either.
As he rounded the corner and pushed through the double doors into the corridor of the church hall, phone in hand, he almost bumped into a kneeling Anna and Second Camel Esme.
"What is it? What's happened?" he asked worriedly, gesturing to his phone, "You said to come back here. Is everything okay?"
She shot him an occupied smile, and for the first time he noticed the script in her hand.
"Hang on just a sec, John," she turned back to Esme, who was clamouring to hug her Daddy, "just one last time sweetheart. After the Innkeeper points to you what do you say?"
"We're the camels! We like the hot sun and the desert, but we need our rest too," Esme recited proudly, grinning. John's jaw dropped. That was certainly not the line of the Second Camel.
"Anna…" he trailed off, looking between her and their daughter in disbelief. Anna stood, beaming at her husband, as Esme jumped into his arms and he hoisted her up.
"Yeah?" she said casually, smirking at his reaction.
"If I'm remembering correctly, that's not her line, is it?" he tested his conclusion gently, not wanting to jinx it. Could it really be?
"It is now. Poor Lola is ill, so our daughter is the one and only-"
"First Camel!" John all but shouted, spinning around and hugging Esme close.
"That's me Daddy!" she giggled. He turned to his wife, whose smile was one of the widest he had ever seen. He could just burst.
"Did I just react like that?" he asked, a look of sheer disbelief and sheepishness gracing his features as Esme began to fiddle with his tie. Anna laughed heartily, tucking in at his side and placing a quick kiss on his lips.
"You certainly did."
"God, I love parenthood."
The nativity was a success, of course. Esme delivered her lines with style and gusto (John wouldn't admit that he had welled up. She was a camel for God's sake). She had then been treated to a slice of cake and a series of cuddles and kisses from her proud parents, for never had there been such a superb First and Second Camel as Esme Bates. As for the tinsel, well…better luck next time.
I don't want their journey to having Esme to be made light of. I have a family friend who was told aged 18 she would never be able to conceive, and then went on to have two healthy little girls with no medical intervention. Pretty miraculous, and a very happy story. I intended for Esme to sort of be a miracle conception, and the baby who follows via IUI, not IVF. Only after I had written this did I learn that the National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (yeah, I did my research) now only recommend this for male infertility (and in my head Anna has PCOS, like the family friend. But I do know from personal-ish experience that IUI can be a help with PCOS, so…). But I suppose I can use my creative license somewhere, right?