Authors Note: First I want to say thank you all for those who are reading this and reviewing it because it means a hell of a lot to me and second you guys made it to part two. How are you doing so far? If you know me then you know I'm not the type who delivers happily ever right away. Christmas shouldn't come easy to Damon and in this next part you're going to see with how he handles it when he bites the bullet and decides to try and celebrate this holiday. Seeing as this is Damon it's not as easy as he had hoped but maybe just maybe along the way he'll get a Christmas gift or two...

8:00pm

The time mocking him as he lay sideways on the guest bed with his gaze trained on the clock radio that was set on the night stand. Three hours, it had been three hours with Stefan gone and how did he know? At six o clock Stefan had asked him once more if changed his mind and when he was met with utter silence he had known his answer. A second later the front door had closed and Damon had heard the sound of Stefan's red coupe or as Damon liked to refer to it as 'the clown car' making its exit down the driveway.

Somewhere in Mystic Falls a very short distance away the Justice League of Idiots were forgetting their troubles and living in the now and it was something Damon knew he'd have trouble doing because unlike them their 'now' was around loved ones and his is still without Elena he miserably reminds himself.

Just the thought of Elena causing a feeling of guilt to rush through him because he knows if she was here now and if he could hear her she'd insist him biting the bullet and attending this party. Damon just because I'm not here with you doesn't mean you're forced to be alone….it's Christmas Eve and no one should be alone on Christmas especially you if he focused hard enough he swears he can hear her soft angelic voice whispering those exact words to him.

"Fine" throwing his hands up in the air "you win" he mutters rolling off the bed and heading over towards the dresser pulling out a pair of jeans and then moving towards the closet so that he can grab a simple black v-neck sweater. Everyone else including Stefan because he's whipped would most likely be decked in some attire to showcase their holiday spirit but to Damon in his eyes he wasn't attending a Christmas Party, no in his eyes he was attending a funeral black fits the mood.

Shifting his gaze towards the guest bathroom making him inwardly flinch knowing some stepchild of Lily's had been naked there. The temptation to head into his bathroom was the first thought that came to mind but then he reminded himself of the person who had resided there which was his mother and her precious Julian. "Ugh" making a face not even allowing himself the thought of what happened in there. With a soft sigh and clothes in hand he trudges towards the bathroom, frowning at how small it is but deciding to make do.

Merry Christmas darling

We're apart that's true

But I can dream and in my dreams

I'm Christmasing with you

Five minutes Damon had been standing outside of the Lockwood mansion and he had yet to knock on the door because he was enduring a song that spoke volumes. Of all songs to hear he just had to walk up hearing the lyrics of a song that practically if he was in a singing mood described him perfectly.

'You've got to be kidding me" he mutters wanting nothing more than to turn away and get the hell out of dodge. Instead he forces himself to stay because he knows this is what Elena would want and since he can't get her an actual present this is the least he can do.

The logs on the fire

Fill me with desire

To see you and to say

This song was like an eclipse he wanted to tune it out completely but he couldn't because each new lyric that slipped past the Carpenter's lips he found related to him.

Just like the song Elena and him were apart only their story was much more tragic because they hadn't chosen to be apart. No, no the universe, Kai and his mother had written that into the story. The only way Damon would find Elena would be in his dreams but they were only dreams and more so memories of their past and each time he'd wake it would leave him feeling empty instead of full.

"Damon?"

He had been so lost in the song that he hadn't heard the front door open as his brother stood in the doorway staring at him with curiosity.

"How'd you know I was here" he asks with a raised brow.

Offering him a knowing smile "vampire hearing and all" putting aside whatever differences they seem to have he steps aside to let his older brother in "what changed your mind?"

"Elena" and he says nothing else now stepping through the threshold of the house and mentally preparing himself for the hell he's about to endure which is the Christmas cheer and all that too cheerful for his taste festivities.

We wish you a Merry Christmas

We wish you a Merry Christmas

The good news is that dreadful song had finally come to an end but the bad news one a new one had begun and from the sounds of it he could pick up on Caroline belting it out. Stepping into the living room he's met with the usual crew Caroline, Bonnie, Matt, Alaric, Stefan and now wait back up gaze landing on Valerie ten bucks says Love at first Lay got invited by my brother resisting the urge to roll his eyes. There was a sarcastic quip in there somewhere but he held it back since it was Christmas and all. Taking note that the sudden chatter had come to a halt at his entrance making him feel uneasy but he's able to muster a weak smile and a little wave. His brow rising as he feels arms thrown around him "I'm so happy you came" Caroline's voice causing him to draw back in more confusion because when has she ever been happy to see him?

"Thank you for the invite Blondie" feeling as if Santa's workshop had thrown up as he sees the array of decorations around the room. From Santa's to Snowman to Reindeer and elves they're all here. Green and red fairy lights strung up along the room giving it that Christmas glow and of course a Christmas tree half decorated realizing that's what they had been in the process of doing.

Offering her a grateful smile seeing that she's playing hostess as she takes his jacket from him okay so I'm here awkwardly rocking on his heels before making his way over to the rest of the gang not surprised when he finds Bonnie pulling him into a hug.

"She would be happy you're here"

Of course she would know the reasoning behind why he was here. Pulling back and offering her a smile "let's see how long I can last" making the rounds to Matt, offering Valerie a curt nod maybe I'm not the odd one of the bunch stopping at Alaric who is in the middle of hanging up a Rudolph ornament. "Looks like she put everyone to work" he muses as Alaric turns his attention towards him and brings him into a man hug, patting him on the back.

"Good to see you came."

Nodding his head "yeah well" shrugging his shoulders "please tell me there is alcohol?"

A gruff chuckle escaping him "you'll have to settle for eggnog I've been knocking a couple of those back."

I don't want a lot for Christmas

There is just one thing I need

I don't care about the presents underneath the Christmas tree

I just want you all my own, more than you could ever know

Make my wish come true

Baby all I want for Christmas is you

Gritting his teeth together it's like the playlist is nagging me "lead the way" because sure eggnog wouldn't be his first choice but at least it was something. Walking over towards the table with a snowflake tablecloth he accepts the mug that Alaric gives him. Eyeing it and making a 'what the hell is this' face.

Chuckling as he notices Damon's confused face at the festive drink in his hand "Caroline made it what did you expect" he counters "it's grated nutmeg and a candy cane in the middle to make it festive. Either suck it up or no alcohol for you" he muses.

For the first time today a shadow of an actual smile plays on Damon's lips hearing his best friend taunt him. "Fine, fine" lifting the mug to his lips, taking a short sip trying to ignore the overly sweetness of the drink and focusing on the actual alcohol. Brow furrowing in confusion when he sees Ric holding back a laugh "what?"

"Oh nothing" breaking out in a smile "you've just got a whipped cream stache going on."

"Ugh" licking his lips and removing whatever traces of cream are there "that's why I'm not a fan of this. The only time I'm a fan of whipped cream is when I'd lick it off owww" not being able to finish the sentence as he feels Alaric bump him in the shoulder causing him to mockingly rub it.

"Tread carefully with your next words" he warns but a smile on his lips none the less.

"Okay, okay I'll be good" pausing for a moment "nice" he corrects.

Alaric watching him for a moment before patting him on the back "I'm glad you're here buddy."

If only he could share the sentiments "I" wondering how to answer that.

"I know you wish circumstances were different" Ric begins reading him well "but since they aren't I'm happy you're here instead of nose deep into a bottle of bourbon."

Deciding to simply nod his head because he really doesn't know how to go about answering this.

"So" taking a sip out of his own mug "now that Mama Witch is dead what's the game plan?"

Anyone else would have made a rule that no talk of supernatural drama was allowed but here was Alaric bringing up recent events like it was any other day and he found himself grateful. "No clue" he answers, lips pursed together "far as I'm concerned her being dead is good enough for me. Julian and the rest of her evil step children fled" except for Valerie "they're no longer in Mystic Falls so I see it as no longer being my problem. If they want to terrorize the locals wherever they are then they can have at it."

"Is that Stefan's train of thought as well?"

"Pft" shaking his head "nope" giving an extra pop of the 'p' "he has the desire to find Julian and kill him dedicating said kill to our mother" rolling his eyes "I could care less but most likely I'll play the dutiful older brother role and help him out. Consider it a late Christmas present and all since I didn't do any shopping."

"Guys"

A new voice entering the conversation as Damon flicks his gaze over to Bonnie finally noticing the reindeer on her sweater "busted" he says under his breath knowing she's come to collect them "let me guess Caroline sent you in to rally in the wandering reindeer?"

"Something like that" she responds with a smile "she wants everyone helping to decorate the tree."

Usually for Alaric he was the type who like Damon didn't do well with taking orders but considering how things had changed and Caroline was now carrying his and Jo's twins he found himself obliging. Turning his attention over towards Damon as he finishes the rest of his drink "you alright in doing this?"

It's just a tree Damon it's just a tree he repeats in his head granted I would have thought my first time decorating would have been with not finishing that train of thought "yeah" he answers. Downing the rest of his drink knowing that's probably not the way to drink it but needing some alcohol in his system. Licking away the rest of the whipped cream, placing the now empty mug down and clapping his hands together "let's go rock around the Christmas tree."

One hour and counting he had been here and it hadn't been as bad as he had expected. The tree was close to being fully decorated and from the times Caroline had chastised him he had realized there was a special theme she wanted. Why would he be surprised that even when decorating she was controlling as ever? There was a system that he and everyone had to abide by, color coded if he placed a red ornament next to a green ornament he'd get lectured because she had wanted it to be done in layers. Green, Red silver and gold after a while though he'd find himself placing something out of order because getting Caroline to roll her eyes at him, lecture him and even huff in annoyance was something that Damon welcomed because it was normal. Placing his last silver ornament on a branch he takes a step back to admire the work.

"Ah it's perfect"

Hearing Caroline's squeal of joy causing him to shake his head because in his opinion it was too perfect for his taste, he felt like this tree would be judgmental towards the others that sounds stupid. Had it been him decorating with Elena they would have gone with the flow. Maybe a Santa Claus would be hanging next to a bourbon bottle ornament or a blue ornament dangling beside a reindeer. With Elena the decorating would have been simple. Color coding wouldn't have existed and he wouldn't get reprimanded at his choice of where to hang what.

Though Damon wasn't one to celebrate Christmas over the years he did have a collection of ornaments tucked safely away things from his childhood that he had cherished. Part of him wondering if Lily had found them and if she had done something to them?

"Now all we need is an angel and our tree will be officially done."

Snapping from his thoughts at Caroline's voice "we could always stick Saint Stefan atop the tree granted it might be uncomfortable on certain parts" he suggests with a grin.

"You're hilarious" his younger brother quips.

"I think I'll just settle for putting the angel on" Caroline's voice pipes in "besides it was what my mom and I always used" she adds in softly.

Watching the way Stefan immediately falls at her side and places an arm reassuringly around her "then let's go get her" the pair disappearing to fetch the angel. Not missing the look of disappointment that falls over Valerie's face and a second later her catching him staring. The look of hurt turning into a glare causing Damon to bite back a chuckle but a hand on his shoulder causing him to turn his attention away towards Valerie and over to Bonnie.

"I know you're against this holiday" seeing the protest on his face she immediately lifts her finger to silence him "but I got you a present none the less so before you leave make sure you take it."

A look of guilt clouding his expression "I really don't think its fair you give me something and I give you nothing" he murmurs.

"If it makes you feel any better I didn't buy it" she cryptically states before stepping past him and walking over to talk with Alaric.

Watching Bonnie for a moment before turning his attention towards the side of the couch noticing that a stray red ornament had escaped from making the hanging on the tree causing Damon to bend down and retrieve it. Grabbing the glass sphere ornament he walks over towards the tree, scanning until he spots an empty branch not empty anymore and just as he's about to hang it on the branch he's met with a sight that makes his entire heart ache.

Standing a few feet away from him with mistletoe above them he watches as his younger brother leans in and presses a tender kiss against Caroline's lips. Even from where he's standing he knows that both Stefan and Caroline are smiling because they are lost in bliss. Something that Damon knows he won't be feeling for a very, very long time.

Swallowing hard as he focuses back on the task at hand but misjudging the placement and the next thing he's hearing is the shattering of glass as the ornament crashes onto the floor. The sound alone causing Stefan and Caroline to break apart so they can see what happened.

"I'm so-sorry" flinching at how apologetic he sounds "it slipped my head was somewhere else and" usually Damon wasn't one to explain himself but here they were having a nice Christmas with what Caroline deemed to be a perfect tree and he had screwed it up. "I dropped it" his gaze shamelessly falling to the floor noting that it's broken beyond repair just like my heart. Crouching down he begins to pick up each of the pieces not even flinching as a couple of shards knick him as he drops the pieces into his palm, hating the silence that has followed and knowing watchful eyes are on him. Rising from his spot he glances at everyone "I'm just going to get rid of this" and without another word he hastily makes his way out of the living room and into the kitchen so that he can dispose of the pieces.

I'll be home for Christmas

You can plan on me

Please have snow and mistletoe

Bracing his hands against the kitchen counter as he finds himself gripping it, peering through the kitchen window he spots the mistletoe that had caused him to practically have a breakdown. Now glaring at the inanimate object because of the past memories it brings.

Happy, she's happy as she sits in the living room with Bonnie and her brother looking through a box of Christmas things. Her smile beaming as she enjoys the company of her friends and it thrills him but the sight also kills him because he knows deep down this is where she belongs.

Elena was never meant to be a vampire because there was nothing monstrous about her. 'Her heart is too damn pure to be tainted' and yet there she sat a predator and he didn't even see that. All he saw was a girl relishing in the simplicity of things and he was taking advantage of it 'more so her heart' because what him and her had shared hadn't been real.

The smile she directed towards her loved ones now reserved only for him as blue meets a warm shade of brown and when she summons him to come inside and join them he finds himself wanting nothing more than to do just that but instead he remains in place. Though he had nodded her off he watches her rise from her spot and each new step she takes towards him he knows is with determination.

"With all the drama you're missing the actual fun part"

A deep ache setting in his chest as he watches her lift the mistletoe above her head and more than anything he actually wants to take part in a tradition for a change but this isn't about what he wants.

"Elena we can't" shaking his head "I can't."

"I should have kissed her that night" he whispers to himself knowing that had been one more kiss he could hold onto but instead he had let it go you let her go too recalling how the damn sire bond paranoia had made him assume the worst. That had been one missed opportunity and unfortunately for him that hadn't been the last.

"Santa baby bring my baby over to me"

"Been an awful bad vamp"

"Santa Baby and let me kiss my girl tonight"

The sound of Damon bellowing his own version of 'Santa Baby' echoing along the walls of the Boarding House as he stands on chair with the front door swung open adding the finishing touches.

"You do realize that's nowhere near the actual version of the song not to mention since you're saying you're being a bad vamp technically speaking Santa wouldn't even visit you."

Rolling his eyes at his brother hopping off the chair and quickly closing the door "you're just jealous because of my originality."

"Yeah that's exactly it" Stefan says with a shake of his head "you're not one for Christmas cheer so what's with all the holiday horrible song and dance?"

"Well little bro it seems tonight is coming up Damon" he teases "I'm being reunited with both my babies first my car" flashing his brother a smile "and soon Elena she's coming over tonight and I decided that mistletoe is actually a tradition I will gladly take part of if it gets me a kiss."

Unfortunately for Damon that kiss had never come because thanks to Kai once again he had Kai Blocked their date and that holiday cheer that Damon had been experiencing only lasted for a few more moments. When Elena hadn't showed up he had figured last minute she had bailed until he had learned the real reason behind it. We'll have next year that's what he told himself because he was sure that they'd find their way back to each other. That they'd finally get to experience a real Christmas together and sure he was participating in Christmas but not the way he yearned for.

With a soft sigh and knowing he has to face the music he pushes himself from the counter, exiting the kitchen and re-entering the living room. As expected the holiday chatter has ceased as they look at him with eyes reflecting pity. Clearing his throat as he makes a grab for his jacket "I think I'm just going to go….I thought that I could do this but who am I fooling" he honestly states before his voice lowers "I can't."

"Wait"

Caroline's protest causing Damon instead of snapping to offer her a weak smile "look" he begins "I appreciate the gesture but I'm only offering you guys a Blue Christmas you're better off without me killing the vibe"

"We get that Damon" Caroline being the voice of the others "but you can't leave without your Christmas presents."

Damon's brows furrowing in confusion "Christmas what now" looking at her as if she's crazy "I break your ornament and you want to give me a present?"

"We all do" Stefan now speaking up for the group.

Figuring Valerie probably wasn't in said category. Flicking his attention around the room at the word 'we' "I didn't get you guys anything."

"We didn't buy you anything" Caroline piping in as she walks over towards him, taking his arm and leading him over towards the sofa, pushing him down and hoping he takes a hint as he sits down. "Stefan make sure he stays right here" eyeing her boyfriend "I'll be right back."

Watching as she walks or rather skips out of the room, shifting his gaze over towards Bonnie "I don't understand."

"You might have told Stefan you weren't coming but we all hoped you would because" falling silent for a moment "this holiday is hardest on you and we want to at least try and make it a little bit easier."

"How will you do that?"

"By this" just as promised Caroline walks into the room with a box filled with gifts that are wrapped up. Walking over towards Damon and setting it right atop the coffee table.

Gaze now trained on the box, lowering as he glances inside of it noting that there are presents that are neatly gift wrapped "you said you didn't buy anything these look bought."

"Well you know me anything I give has to be in ideal condition so bought or not it's wrapped none the less" shrugging her shoulders as she takes a seat beside him "besides its Christmas." Seeing Damon begin to protest "just open it" reaching into the box she grabs a small rectangular shaped present handing it over to him "here start with this."

Hesitantly he accepts the present, eyeing it for a moment before carefully starting to rip the paper. His eyes falling upon a black cover and immediately he recognizes it. With all the paper torn off his gaze falls over towards the 'journal' inscribed neatly on the cover. It takes him a few seconds before he opens it and what falls atop his lap is enough to cause his breath to hitch.

A photo booth strip with both him and Elena looking happier than ever staring at him. Elena's beaming smile causing him to swallow hard as he tenderly runs his thumb along her cheek in the picture god I miss you…..I miss us finally flicking his attention over towards his picture and instantly seeing how happy he is and even though he had been a vampire in that picture he sees the human side of him.

"This was our first date" he finally speaks up hating the silence. Feeling a shift in the couch as Caroline leans over to examine the pictures "my favorite is the second picture because she had actually gotten you to break bad boy character and be goofy."

A chuckle sounding in the room and it takes him a second to realize it's his own even when you're not physically here with me you have the power to uplift my spirit. "That was our first date it was after we had gone to a French Flick….well actually we didn't even finish the movie we hightailed it out of there because during the film I was throwing popcorn at hipsters of course Elena lectured me for it." Not meeting anyone's gaze because he finds it easier to speak when he's looking at her even if it is just a picture. "Finally Elena decided to take a walk on the wild side….launched it at some old man and rather than staying she bailed….I don't think we've ever laughed that much so when we were in the lobby she requested we document how perfect that night was said I owed it to her."

"Wait"

Damon's brow arched in confusion "for?"

Seeing Damon's curious look she looks at the man with his back to her, and then flicks her gaze back at the bag still on her lap. She doesn't know what possesses her as she reaches into the bag, digging out a couple pieces of popcorn. For a moment she hesitates until she makes her mind up, drawing her arm back, and firing. The pieces of popcorn hitting the man square in the head. "Go…..go" she hisses, as the man whips his head around, jumping from her seat, grabbing Damon's hand and running out of the theater, their legs carrying them as fast as they can, at a human pace.

The second that they exit the theater and enter into the main lobby Damon checks to make sure the coast is clear knowing someone of that age won't have the stamina to actually chase after, settling for the fact that they had left so all is well. Fixing his gaze back on Elena and seeing the wide smile on her lips which is completely infectious causing him to match her smile.

"I can't believe I did that" she half squeals trying to stifle her laughter.

"Not only did we make out but we threw popcorn at hipsters I'd say that this was a very good and original date" he teased.

"It was" she says with a beaming smile, her gaze catching something in the far back of the lobby "and since it's such a good date we should document it."

Damon's gaze following Elena's and spotting a photo booth in the far corner "really?"

"Yup" taking his hand "I was rebellious tonight and threw popcorn at an elderly man because you're a bad influence" dragging him with her down the hall "you owe me this."

"She told me it was an unwritten rule for couples to make a silly face at the camera" rolling his eyes but smiling none the less "it was the first time she categorized us as a couple and I knew right then and there I'd do anything she'd ask of me." Glancing at the goofy expression he's making in the strips "like this."

"I've never seen her happier."

Stefan's statement drawing Damon to look at his younger brother because it was odd to hear considering once upon a time everyone had believed that Stefan had been Elena's true love. Seeing the sincerity reflecting in his brother's eyes causing Damon to give him a grateful smile "she kept the strip but I couldn't walk away without something to remember that night by so we took a single photo." Reaching into his back pocket he pulls out his wallet, flipping it open, removing it from the slip revealing a similar photo of the two only in this one he's finally gotten the grasp of making a funny face. Elena's head leaning against his, sporting a grumpy cat expression and cross eyes she's too adorable for her own good Damon's expression in the photo almost matching hers having his eyes go sideways and just to add to the amusement he stuck his tongue out. Showcasing it to the others before he handles it with the utmost care and slips it back into the protective shield "this is my favorite photo of us….I carry it with me wherever I go because that person in the photo is someone who I hadn't seen happy in over a century…someone who enjoys life and that's all because of this angel." Thumb once again tracing tenderly along the photo "this serves as a reminder that I can be happy."

A sudden hush draping over the conversation before Caroline decides to speak up, placing her hand reassuringly on his shoulder "you'll find that man again" squeezing it "now" gesturing towards the journal in his hand "read the first entry."

The gesture throwing Damon for a loop because Caroline was showing him a kindness he wasn't use to it's probably because it's Christmas and all he reasons. Placing the photo strip back where it was as he flips towards the first entry "I don't think I should….I mean it's a diary entry those are usually private just ask Stefan" still having yet to confess he had written a couple on his own.

"It's what she wrote before she asked me to compel her memories away of you" Alaric who had been quite the entire time during the exchange now speaking up "she'd want you to read it. You had this hopeful reunion planned out and it didn't turn out like you had expected….you should at least know her reasoning. You don't need to read it aloud besides it will help with the next gifts" he adds in.

Eyeing Alaric skeptically but feeling a bit relieved that he doesn't need to read it to everyone he nods his head. Flicking his baby blues towards Elena's beautiful penmanship as he begins to read.

Dear Me,

If you're reading this then somebody has spilled the beans about your selective memory loss my money's on Caroline.

Even in her writing she's able to draw out a chuckle from Damon looks like you lost said money darling considering it had been Stefan of all people to help in enlightening Elena.

Yes you loved Damon; you loved him with a passion that consumed you

Sucking in an un-needed breath at how her words paralleled to the night that they first met "you want a love that consumes you" he whispers as he continues to read.

When Damon died the void he filled was too deep, too dark. Facing an eternity without your soul mate you went off the deep end, you turned into someone you weren't, a monster.

Recalling his return and how Alaric had said something about how Elena hadn't handled his death well and this cryptic entry seemed to prove it. Shooting his gaze towards Alaric for a moment before shifting his attention back towards the entry it's cruelly ironic that these words could be my own because now I'm here in your shoes well not in your shoes because that would be quite painful….sixty years give or take for a vampire should be nothing but when it comes to having to spend life without the love of my light it might as well be forever.

Alaric can restore your memories all you have to do is ask but I hope that you don't. I tried it the other way and I didn't see an end to the pain. I want you to rediscover yourself in the absence of the one who defined you. If you feel any hope for the future at all then you're already better off. You've been given a second chance to start over. I want you to take it, I want you to be happy.

Swallowing hard as he blinks back the tears threatening to spill from his eyes, ever so gently closing the book and setting it down back into the box. "She wanted a second chance at life…..wanted to rediscover herself" shaking his head "but I can't take a page out of this book because it's not possible. She defined me, shaped me into the better man worthy of her love. Worthy of you guys actually caring enough to do this" he notes. "If she wanted me to rediscover myself and figure out who I am without her" pursing his lips together "other than being a lost man I'm a man who finally allowed himself to dream. After transitioning and then getting my heart broken by Katherine over a century later I said goodbye to dreaming but Elena allowed me to dream" licking his lips. "I wanted forever with her because our love is the type of love that should be everlasting not to mention I really at the introduction of the cure couldn't picture myself being human but she wanted to be which made me want to be as well."

Five years from now where do you see yourself?

"All I saw was Elena" he confesses "so wherever she was well it was good enough for me. Unlike her I didn't have my life mapped out but now without her as shocking as it is I found that I've grown because I finally allowed myself the idea of a future. ….a human life."

"Elena took that cure" he viewed it as a blessing because he knew how much she wanted to be human again but also a curse because being human had been the reason for why she couldn't be healed and why she wasn't here with him now. "She wanted a chance to grow up, have the life that consisted of normal because everything around her has been far from normal. She wanted to do something she loved, getting married, having kids, and growing old. I never understood it before and I sure as hell never understood how you could give up the perks of being a vampire to be human but now" a soft smile displaying on his lips "now without her I get it."

"When I first decided to take the cure with her I was doing it solely for her" he admits "but now I realize that I want it for myself too. I want to be human with her. I want the normal because for over a century of my life" releasing a soft sigh "and now more my life has been anything but normal. I use to think being a vampire and having eternity was the definition of living life but now I see it in a whole new light. Living is seeing life as something precious and not taking it for granted. I want to marry her. I want to have the honor of going to some event" thinking about it for a moment "probably some medical event because she wants to be a doctor" he says with a smile knowing his girl will succeed "and being introduced to her friends and colleagues as her husband. I want to feel her heartbeat against my chest falling into sync with my own as we lie in bed completely spent from making love." Hearing the slight agitated growl most likely figuring it had been Alaric opps tmi on that one "sorry buddy" he apologies. "You know how they say when a woman is pregnant she has a certain glow about her" that smile once again creeping up on him "I want to see that and maybe I'm bias because she'd give all pregnant women a run for their money because she'd be absolutely stunning." A rich chuckle escaping him "I want to be woken up a two am with her yelling and barking orders at me because of her weird pregnancy cravings…and what most men dread getting out of bed to get said food I'd do it with a smile on my face. I want to admire the sight of her holding our baby."

Missing the looks that Alaric, Caroline and Stefan share as he continues with opening himself up completely "I want her and everyone around us to see the light in my eyes as I hold our baby because that single moment alone she'd be able to see how truly content I am with life." The more he goes on and actually admits it aloud causing him to feel countless sets of emotions rushing through him. "I want to grow old with her because in my eyes she'll still be the most beautiful woman wrinkles and all…..I want to tell our kids and grand-kids the story of our love because it deserves to be heard."

From the side he catches sound of a few sniffles figuring its most likely Bonnie or Caroline can't be Valerie she sure as hell doesn't like me….is she even here he wonders. Curiosity getting the best of him as he searches the room and sure enough he finds her sitting in a chair with a somber expression.

"It took a hell of a long time for me to say I've finally grown up because I no longer desire the materialistic things. Now all I want is the meaningful ones and what I just described" wishing more than anything Elena was here so she could hear it for herself "I want all that and more with her."

Rocking around the Christmas tree

Have a happy holiday

The faint music in the background reminding him that this was a party and here he is spilling his heart out whoever would have thought I'd take on the role of buzz kill deciding that it's time to take his leave he rises from the couch. "I think it would be best if I opened up the rest in the privacy of my own home" that way I can cry if I want to. Grabbing the box wanting to make his exit but once again Caroline snatches his arm keeping him from going "you can't go yet" she's quick to state as he eyes lock onto Alaric's.

"Why is that?"

"Because I haven't given my gift to you yet"

Damon's gaze whipping over towards Alaric who now seems to have taken the stage as he stands in the center of the room "oh" brow arched in his best friends direction as he glances to see that he's not holding anything "and what gift might that be?"

"Sharing with you the moment that Elena knew she was in love with you."

End Part 2