I choose to jump a good deal behind the team, this time, so I could brood in my own embarrassment. I didn't want to feel embarrassment, but unfortunately I did. We headed through the trees in high speed, everyone keeping silent. The mood was just filled with awkwardness. No one knew what to say, so it seemed, and Kakashi didn't seem to take any kind of notion of me. The forest had become thicker and more vigorous. The air here were more moist and it seemed that we had gotten pretty for into the mountains. I could feel the kids gaze around at me now and then. Why they did it, didn't I know, I could come up with a dozen of reasons. We just jumped for hours through the trees, and the steady rhythm made me relax more and more. But evidently Sakura choose to trip a bit on a branch, but caught her balance quickly again. We all stopped automatically to see if she was okay, but only received a sheepish smile from her.
"Um, sorry, guess I'm beginning to get a little tired." She grinned and brushed the back of her hair. Kakashi looked up through the petals to check out the sky.
"Well, let's set camp for now then." He answered, looking over at me briefly. Naruto yawned and stretched his arms out.
"Yeah, it would be good with a quick nap." He said and grinned.
I looked down at the branch I stood on, still avoiding their eyes. I couldn't figure what've held me back from attacking Kakashi. It was all very foreign to me. We all followed Kakashi through a couple more trees before we jumped into a clearing. The air had a nice temperature and there in the clearing were a perfect spot for camping. Being in a thick forest like this made the earth under us dry but soft. I found that we were on a steep on one of the mountains, and thanks to a large flat rock, we would have a great view down into the small valley. Stunned by the place I walked to rock and looked over the edge to see one of the most astonishing things I'd ever seen in my life. On the opposite of the valley were a thundering waterfall which blew a fresh breeze into my face and played with my hair. The waterfall was yellow from the setting sun as if it was made of pure gold. We were pretty high up in the mountain cause we could look down at the waterfall from this spot. I simply plumed down on the stone to watch the sight in pure wonder. The kids came to my side, every harsh feeling forgotten and gawked by the sight. Sakura was nearly blushing over the sight and even the quiet Sasuke looked amused by the sight. Kakashi came walked up on the stone as well and placed himself somewhere behind us. I glanced back at Kakashi and saw how his eyes glittered peacefully. I found myself mesmerized by his expression for a few seconds before I looked back again.
"Wauh." Naruto whispered, as if afraid that the waterfall would fall apart anytime soon.
I smirked for myself and allowed myself to relax. I'd never realized how nice it was to share a beautiful moment like this with others.
"Look, it's down there, by the restaurant we're supposed to meet Misaki Mai." Kakashi said and walked to our sides, his eyes moving over the landscape of the golden waterfall and the blue mountains in the background. I could barely see it in the lightening, but he pointed to a small wooden house which went halfway out of the edge of the waterfall. Naruto squeezed his eyes together and excitement, as if he were about to explode.
"YAY! What about we buy some food and check out the waterfall?" Naruto almost screamed as he looked at Sasuke and Sakura.
Sakura smiled excited, but smacked a hand to her mouth before she said anything, waiting (as anticipated) for Sasuke's answer.
"Hmpf, what's so great about that waterfall anyway? We can watch if from here." Sasuke answered and crossed his arm looking… um… capricious? Sakura looked over at Sasuke a bit disappointed and then turned to Naruto.
"Yeah what were you thinking?" She snapped at Naruto. I could never seem to understand her. She could be so mean to Naruto.
"Oh come on, just because Sasuke don't want to go…" Naruto answered timidly.
"Who said I didn't want to go?" Sasuke answered and actually for once smiled genuinely. To think that such a serious child actually had that tiny splint of happiness inside of him, made me think of myself… (No, I'm not vain!) Naruto smiled wide and clapped his hands once.
"Then what are we waiting for?" Naruto shouted and turned on his heels, and jumped high into the air and then over the edge of the steep.
Sasuke jumped enthusiastically after Naruto, and Sakura followed a bit confused after the two boys. Poor girl. So confused.
"Hey! Remember to buy some food for me and Toshi!" Kakashi yelled after them without getting any response back.
I looked after the kids with a small smile in my face, as I realized that I and Kakashi had shared a long silent moment together. When I became aware of that I felt awkward immediately. I glanced over at him reluctantly and met his eyes insecurely. He looked just as uncomfortable as I felt.
"Great view." He said, and tried to smile with his eyes.
Come one. Seriously, did he really have to pull THAT off again. He could've just asked me about the weather. Damned I hated small-talk.
"Um, yyeeah… Shouldn't we gather some wood or something? Before it gets dark." I asked looking up at him seriously. I wasn't in the mood for fun or chitchat right now.
"Good idea." He answered simply and pulled his beloved book out of his pocket. I shrugged and stood up to make hand-seal for making a clone. I seriously just wanted to get away from the awkward situation.
"Okay, I'll go that way." I said as a perfect clone appeared beside me.
"Fine." He answered and made a clone himself and disappeared into the forest.
He wasn't the type to feel awkwardness, especially not with girls. And he shouldn't feel awkward. He had known her for over a week now, and had seen her everyday, so why this sudden awkwardness? Luckily for him was he good at hiding it, and just put on his usual laid back attitude. When she gazed over the waterfall she looked mysterious, as if she knew everything about the forest and possessed a lot of ancient secrets. He couldn't tell where that knowledge radiated from, but there was this aura around her. Perhaps it was just the lighting from the sun. He had moved his eyes to her neck; he couldn't see the pearl for the golden hair but it was still a mystery to him. Sometimes when he was with her, he thought that he couldn't live up to the reputation of being a notorious and feared ninja. He couldn't even open her up one bit, to tell him about that damned pearl in her neck. Nonetheless had it been reckless to take her with them on a mission. She didn't know one thing about teamwork, and that could be a big disadvantage. And she had become stronger than he had expected. He was afraid he was going to fight her again. The time he had spent with her had made him even more irritated because she just wouldn't open up one bit and at the same time he had become somewhat intrigued to find out more about her. But he couldn't expect her to learn so quickly – not from a war orphan who probably had gone through a lot of suffering – like her. Her eyes didn't hold any kind of emotion as usual which didn't suit her otherwise beautiful exterior.
There were plenty of wood in the thick forest. The hard thing was to find something that wasn't too moist. Why had I even signed up for this? I was going to get a lot of sticks if I were trappesing all over the plants too much. I managed to collect a good armful though, and hoped that my clone had had the same luck as I. I caught the golden glimpses of the water in between the branches as I jumped back to the camp. I couldn't feel the presence of anyone so I assumed that Kakashi wasn't finished yet. I plumed the wood down in the middle of the clearing and moved to the big stone which was still warm from the sun. I could hear the silent humming of the waterfall and began to wonder why I never had visited other places of the world. I'd sure been missing a lot by staying in that old town. I rested my head in my hand; maybe it was healthy for me to live in Konoha… It still didn't give them the right to remove me though. This was exactly what I had tried to avoid; realizing that life could be better. What did the kids think of me now? It was not like they hadn't seen me mad before. Instinctively I detected Kakashi's chakra, two places actually. One was almost at the camp, and the other – a bit further away. I sensed how he entering the clearing and plumed the wood onto my own stack before moving over to me. He stood beside and gazed over the landscape which were turning dark, his hair moving peacefully in the breeze of the waterfall. I looked over the landscape again, analyzing the faint contrast between orange and dark blue in the horizon. I considered to explain why I… wait… I wanted to explain myself? No way! I gulped to man myself up as Kakashi sat down beside me.
"So, when are you planning on telling me what happened before?" he asked. Great he did that mindreading-ish thing again.
I felt Kakashi's chakra somewhere else like a stronger chakra and new that I were sitting with his clone. I sensed how he moved to one of the trees in the clearing, and since he just sat still I decided to play along, even though I felt really stupid about talking to a clone. I looked at the stone under me, every word seeming to get caught in my throat. I looked at the clone to explain and looked at his visible eyes. I felt Eien press under the surface to enter his eye, even though she couldn't unless both eyes were visible. I sighed heavily and looked away.
"Toshi?" the clone asked me. Stupid clone.
An idea suddenly popped into my mind. I could get rid of my itching urge to punch Kakashi, by punching his clone. He would probably be very curious if I pretended to tell about the pearl in my neck. I tried desperately to hide an evil smirk as I moved my hand to my neck and removed my long hair so my neck was completely exposed. The clone's eyes widened in pure curiosity and sifted the colored pearl with his eyes.
"What exactly do you imagine this is?" I asked and tried my best to look genuinely vulnerable. I searched backwards to feel the real Kakashi's hidden inquisitivity towards me. I sighed, happy with my plan to lure the clone into some kind of safety zone so I could take him off guard. I took of the heavy green vest for him to see better. Subtly I glanced backwards at the real Kakashi, seeing that he was sitting relaxed on a branch with one foot dangling over the edge. He didn't look one bit curious and I had to concentrate on picking up small hints of emotions from his mind. But it was damned hard. That sharingan was surely something unique.
"Um…" the clone replied—"some sort of chakra recourse?" it asked.
"Wrong." I replied and kept still. It looked at my face to read it and hesitantly moved closer to take a better peep. Maybe the colors of the pearl had some kind of enticing effect . I had to bite my lip for smiling victoriously and prepared a good fist.
"I'll tell you what it is… " I took in a deep breath as the clone looked expectantly at me.
Then I launched my fist right into the jaw of the unaware clone who barely dodged and fell back on the big stone. It disappeared in a gust of smog, blowing into my face with that spicy, nauseating scent I couldn't stand after too many encounters with it. I smacked a hand to my mouth and nose, mostly to hold out the thick scent, but also to hold in a laugh. It just felt so good. I almost spit in my own hands as the laugh I'd been holding in finally broke free. Sweet laughter. I didn't get over my convultion at least before two minutes, during which time Kakashi's face got more priceless. He looked utterly disappointed and fooled.
"What was that for?" he asked stunned and jumped down from the branch he had been pretending to read on. I tried to smother some chuckles, without any good luck.
"I just needed to get some frustration out." I said as he moved to sit next to me like his clone had done.
"And what if it hadn't been a clone?" he asked and cocked an eyebrow. I snorted at his question as if he was stupid.
"Seriously, your curiosity was so intense that I could feel it all the way over here, and I usually never sense anything from your mind. I can't sense ANY kind of brain activity from clones though… So that's why I knew." I explained and drew invisible patterns with my finger on the stone. He didn't reply but just looked at me, as if he were searching for something. I jerked a bit realizing that I hadn't told him about Eien's / my mind-technique.
"Um and ancient form of jutsu I learned by my master." She said hastily and waved her hand at him.
"That's not possible." He replied as a matter of fact.
Her sandy hair danced back and forth in the breeze and even though the darkness had filled the sky now, he was still able to tell her eye color. She looked very peaceful and wondering, compared to what he usually saw. But he didn't believe her one bit. He had never heard about that kind of abilities before, the closest were the Yamanaka-clan in the village… He wasn't easy to fool and figured out quickly that she had some kind of abilities she didn't tell him about. He had still not forgotten the thing that had happened the first time they met, and she had done something very weird – like making him look inwards… She brushed some hair behind her ear and shrugged on her shoulder, somehow seeming to give up on something.
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you anyway." She said and moved her eyes away from him with a sigh.
There was truly something fascinating about her. Just as quick as he had complained to himself about how much effort it took to open her up, she suddenly seemed to be genuinely honest with him, as if she actually considered to tell him. That as well made him more up on his guard, he still couldn't trust her and make the same mistake as his clone.
"Why don't you try me?" he suggested pleasantly even though he was very curious and kind of impatient. She glanced over at him sadness filling her eyes just briefly.
"Well um…" she hesitated and looked suspiciously at him before she sighed heavily—
"Honestly I don't know WHY I have that thing in my neck, or why I have these… shall we call it abilities. But I can tell one thing…" she bit her lip and looked searching at him as if he were to trust.
"Go on." He assured. Lucky that he had such good patience.
"I have like… This other soul in me. The soul of a lioness, and I don't know why, but she happens to have a lot of chakra and some… well abilities." She looked him straight in the eyes now, waiting anxiously for some kind of reaction from him. She almost looked scared.
He had to take a moment to comprehend what she'd said. It didn't sound impossible, considering Naruto and the kyuubi, but… He could see that she wasn't lying.
"Like a tailed beast?" he asked. He had never heard of a beast looking like a lioness. Toshi's eyes widened the slightest as she shifted uncomfortably in her seat.
Wait. Did he really believe me. Did he not question me ONE bit?
"… No one has ever believed me without seeing me in my other form." I said, looking at his relaxed and chilled expression, which somehow suited me very well.
"Well, I believe you." He said and smiled with his one visible eye.
I gulped, but couldn't seem to get the sudden thing in my throat to go away. A small ball of guilt grew in me as I looked at his trusting face. Why was he being so nice to me, considering all the things I'd done?
"Kakashi—" damn, still felt weird to say his name—"I'm sorry for… um, before. But when I'm being locked up for a long time the lioness - or Eien no Honou which is her name - in me seem to tricker something." I looked at the waterfall in the far distance, barely able to see it anymore except for the blue moonlight that were reflected at the top of the stream. I didn't have the guts to look him in the eyes when being so honest. I didn't know what had gotten to me, but I felt an urge to tell him the truth, even though it stood in great contrast to my pride.
"I see—" he put a finger to his chin—" so it has a name." he stated thoughtfully to himself, avoiding my apology. He should just know how much an apology meant when it was from me!
"Yes she has." I answered a little more sullenly and combed my fingers through my long hair.
"So. Why have you hidden these abilities for all the time we've been together, and not to mention when we came from you?" he asked and I felt that spark of curiosity radiate from him for the briefest of moments.
He must've been REALLY curious for me to actually sense some kind of emotion from him, cause I actually think that today was the first day I'd ever felt that. I shrugged, reluctant to talk more about it when something hit me.
"Oh, please don't tell the kids yet." I said in a sudden panic. He looked at me a bit surprised by the change in subject and seemed to search for words.
"Plea—se …" I begged of him.
He seemed to hesitate and I could only understand why. He didn't want to keep secrets like that from his students. He looked thoughtfully over at the waterfall, the moonlight falling down on his masked face. I looked at him skeptically; he was pretty mysterious when you thought about it. I didn't know one thing about him, except for a few things about his personality. He seemed friendly and caring, but actually hard to get through to. There were something solitary about his attitude, I wonder why I'd never noticed that before. No one could have such a calm and detached manor as the only thing. He was strong too, but had shown no signs of arrogance and was quite modest about hiw abilities. How little I knew about him. I didn't know anything about his social-life, his past or anything. If he were trying to open me up, didn't that give me the right to be curious about opening him up as well?
"I won't tell… But it could be useful if we encounter someone strong." He said, breaking my train of thoughts. He looked at me, almost as if he were daring me to something.
And I knew what it was. I'd never saved someone and never had to urge to do so. And that was what he was asking of me. My protection. My expression grew naturally cold. I seriously had some thinking and some soul-searching to do.
"We'll see." I muttered and dragged me legs into my body so I could lean me head on me knees. It gave me a headache to think – and talk – about these things. I closed my eyes and tried to turn back to my old self.
"You know. I really don't like to have a ninja with me who doesn't know how to work as a team."… Come on, Kakashi couldn't drop that bomb on me after our previous conversation!
"It's not like I asked to be here in the first place or are aspire to be like you." He replied sullenly.
"With your view on life, I don't think you'll ever be able to reach my level." He said in a calm – irritating way. I knew he was only teasing me though. But I wasn't in the mood at all to have this kind of polite discussion right now.
"HEY! WE'RE BACK!" Naruto made his usually loud entrance into the clearing and broke me and Kakashi's bickering.
I felt relieved though, as Sakura and Sasuke walked into the clearing as well. They all carried paper-bags filled with small boxes of (hopefully) food. Naruto had that grin plastered in his face. Well lucky for us all that they had bought so much food. There were just about enough for only Naruto in one bag.
"They had so much delicious food that we couldn't decide which to buy." Naruto exclaimed and dropped the two paper-bags in his arms.
"Well as long as we don't have to pay." Kakashi said and scratched his neck. I don't think that I had seen so much food in my life (which I had a share of as well). But I had no money.
"What? Toshi and Kakashi-sensei, you have to pay as well!" Sakura whined and plumed down her bags.
"What?" both Kakashi and I replied at the same time. First of all; I had no money and second of all; they couldn't expect us to pay for all that food.
But everyone was too hungry to take more notive of that issue. Almost drooling we began to dig in to the delicious food (consisting mostly of ramen). Kakashi was finished before either of us had fair chance to register that he been eating. Naruto looked up from his second round of ramen, a few pieces of rice sticking to his chin from his previous meal.
"Are you already finished Kakashi-sensei?" he muffled, his mouth full of food. Everyone (except for me) stopped eating and looked up. I jerked a bit; so I had been the only one to notice Kakashi's weird eating habit. I'd actually never seen him eat before which actually made sense. Or else I would've seen his face.
"Yeah. I wasn't that hungry." He said pleasantly and continued to read in his book.
"Sensei, you're supposed to eat a lot! It'll give us strength tomorrow." Sakura said, looking accusingly at her sensei. Naruto looked somewhat disgusted; who could NOT but hungry? I glanced more up from my cup and stopped chewing as everyone else. We just looked at him in silent awkwardness, the moments passing by as he began to chuckle nervously.
"Easy, I'm going to be okay." He said and tried to wave our stares away.
We continued to eat happily together and as we got more into it, and the fire was lit, Naruto and Sakura began to tell different tales. I don't think I'd ever experienced this kind of 'familiy-mood' before, but found that I was unusually comfortable with it. I liked how everyone's attention for once wasn't directed at me, and that we could warm ourselves by the fire which illuminated the whole clearing. For a moment I spaced out in the middle of a story Sakura was telling, as Kakashi's words began to spin in my head. I stared into the fireplace and remembered what he'd said to me about teamwork and my attitude in general. Not soon after were we all handed a sleeping-bag and settled around the fireplace as before. I lay on the ground, staring up through the petals and at the cloud-free dark sky above. I couldn't fall asleep for some reason and knew that was next in turn to hold guard (even though there had been some bickering about ME holding guard). Even though the sound of the dying fire and the humming of the waterfall were very soothing for my ears, I just couldn't fall asleep.
I decided to get up before time so Sasuke could get some sleep, and withered out of my bag, stood up and brushed my hands off of dirt. Sasuke sat in the moonlight – on the flat stone – gazing over the valley.
"Hey, I'm up. You can go to sleep now." I said and trudged up at the stone to take his place.
Sasuke didn't seem to have heard me, cause he didn't answer or move so I took in some air to talk a bit louder but stopped myself. I didn't have any particular friendly feelings towards Sasuke, compared to Naruto and Sakura so perhaps I should take Kakashi's advice about teamwork seriously now. I mean, if I had to get along with everyone. I manned myself up and swallowed some of my pride and sat down beside the black-haired Uchiha. If I focused some chakra into my emotion-sensing I couldn't pick up one thing from Sasuke, just like Kakashi.
"What happened this afternoon?" Sasuke asked suddenly. I jerked a bit and looked over at him. He was still gazing far away into the distance.
"Um. Nothing unusual. I just wanted to kill him." I replied carefully neutral.
"Did you really want to kill him that much? Even if it carried the risk of hurting some of us?" he replied coldly as if he was suppressing a lot of anger. I blinked twice at his 'comment'. He sounded like I was some kind of cold murderer. Like his enemy.
"Noo… I just got mad. I can't explain it." I lied coursing Sasuke to frown the slightest. I didn't really want to have this conversation with him.
"And because you 'just' got mad you randomly decided to attack our sensei. One of the most notorious and feared ninjas from our village?" he growled, trying to hold his tone low. It was like I'd hurt him, through hurting Kakashi. I sat a bit flabbergasted for a moment before a continued.
"Notorious? Feared?" I repeated. It couldn't be true. Were that douchebag to Kakashi notorious and feared? I wasn't sure of Sasuke were exaggerating or actually telling the truth.
"Are you serious? Are you stupid or something? You've been up against him yourself! Why do you think he's gotten the nickname copy-ninja?" Sasuke spat as if he couldn't believe my words.
I blinked a couple of times again, trying to comprehend what was coming out of Sasuke's mouth. I was over the time getting used to being insulted, which you do a lot if you're with team 7 on a daily basis. Well, yeah Kakashi was strong. But what I'd been up against up to date, wasn't anything to brag about. I'd always thought of him as a, well strong, but that there was stronger ninja's than him. Okay, maybe he had a sharingan and maybe he'd gotten a nickname but… I snorted inwardly and glanced back at Kakashi's dark form and the silver hair that stuck out of from his sleeping-bag.
"Well… That wasn't quite my impression. I mean he's a real lazy-ass and what I've been up against isn't like THAT strong compared to other notorious—" I was cut off by the impatient Sasuke.
"Yeah we all did that, but we realized how strong he was quickly. I've seen him in his serious modes—" Sasuke looked solemn over at me; " It's not like you're that strong yourself, not strong enough to beat him. I don't know what makes him so good, but I know that he graduated from the ninja-academy at age 5, and became a jounin at the age of 13!" Sasuke said temperamentally, but careful not to wake the others up.
My eyes widened by the last thing Sasuke said. I had been exceedingly underestimating Kakashi. I didn't know much about the school system, but I knew that the kids had barely just graduated when they were sent to get me, and to imagine a kid at the age of 6 on the team was just surreal. I glanced over my shoulder and looked at Kakashi's peacefully sleeping form. To think that that lazy-ass, relaxed, none-caring ninja could be a famous killer. Sasuke stood up and looked down at me.
"Well… Goodnight." He said simply and turned around to trudge away, leaving me to my thoughts.
I didn't bother to wake Naruto up for a swift, but stayed up until the sun began to rise on the other side of our sleeping spot. Only the tops of the mountains were lit up by the sun and the waterfall and sky still stood in darkness. I leaned my head in my knee and shifted a bit uncomfortably on the stone which was wet form the morning dew.
"Good morning." Kakashi's voice broke the silence of the night, and I jerked a bit as I looked over my shoulder to greet him.
"Good morning." I muttered and looked back at the waterfall.
"I'm up, I'm up." Naruto sat up and rubbed his eyes sleepy. I wasn't really sure if Naruto was awake… It seemed that he was physically, but definitely not mentally.
Eventually everyone got up from their sleep, and as a lead Naruto jumped in front all the way down the valley. Jumping downwards was very soothing. The weightlessness of jumping down, made me feel calm for a while – I mean in top of the noisy kids. Sometimes we jumped so far that we gained more speed than averagely; there just something about hanging in the air with your hair blowing after you, eyes almost tearing because of the speed. We had to jump all the way down to the lake and then up to the end of the waterfall. Nearing the restaurant I looked up to see a figure stand on the wooden balcony, a tiny frame. As we got a bit closer I could see that she had a very unusual hair color. It was almost white, with a greenish tone to it. If it was because of the trees I couldn't tell. Her eyes were a light purple color which meant to she looked very fragile somehow.
"I can't wait to meet her. I hope her music is good cause I like good music." Naruto began to blab.
Staying in the back I landed with a thud on the large balcony. From here the rush of waterfall was so loud that you had to speak loud for the others to hear you. The… Girl? Woman? Stood by the railing and looked down at the waterfall, her shoulder-longer hair blowing from the force of the waterfall. Kakashi, who was in the front, walked over to her as me and the kids only neared us, keeping our distance from this girl. She jerked her head up as if she had been dragged out of dream and looked at Kakashi, her eyes widening by his tall figure (not that he was THAT tall)
"Misaki Mai?" he asked and smiled (okay every time I say he smiles, I mean with his eye!), his hands stuffed in his pockets. He then bothered to take his right hand up to shake hers.
"Are you… The Konoha ninjas?" she asked insecurely and looked over at me and the kids – past Kakashi's shoulder before she shook his hand. I could only state that the look she gave me wasn't the must trustworthy I could've received. Naruto smiled sheepishly, like he was exaggerating his smile to look nice, and Sakura was looking at Sasuke who were looking at the restaurant. Okay, maybe not the best impression she got from us right now. I looked back at her as if she offended me in an awkward way.
"Yes we are and my name is Hatake Kakashi the only jounin." He introduced himself and bowed slightly without letting go of her hand. Now, notice her slight change in behavior; suddenly she looked more lively or… interested.
"Nice to meet you Kakashi. So are those ninjas as well?" she peeped over at the proudly presented group again and Kakashi began to laugh nervously.
"Well, yes they are. But trust me they're better then they look." He assured her. I cocked an eyebrow over his embarrassment and met Mai's eyes again.
I think she was afraid of me, cause her eyes flickered away from me again. Naruto took in a deep manly breath and walked proudly forward with a grin plastered across his face.
"Hello Mai, my name is Uzumaki Naruto and I'm going to become the next hokage!" he held his hand proudly out to her. Meanwhile Kakashi tilted his head up and sighed as he rubbed the bridge of his nose with two fingers. I had one of those moments again where I felt some kind of warmth towards Naruto who was trying to be as cool as Kakashi (not saying he's cool). He turned around a little bit as Naruto finally dropped the bewildered Mai's hand.
"And this is Sasuke, Sakura and Toshi." He said and pointed bored to everyone in the vastly noble group. She looked kind of skeptic.
"So, now when we're over with the intro, should we get going?" I asked impatiently and looked blankly at everyone.
" The sooner the better." Mai answered and walked past Kakashi. We all began to follow instinctively but waited until Kakashi and Mai had passed by.
"Come on Toshi." He said as he passed me.
I grunted in return and walk right after. The girl carried a guitar-banjo like thing on her back, and to me she seemed weird, and weird girls were a pain in the ass! Walking with a civilian meant that we had to walk the rest of the way. We quickly filled in our roles again when we began to walk at overgrown paths through the forest. Mai slowed down her pase and waited for Kakashi and I to catch up to her.
"So , I've never been escorted by real ninjas. So let me get one thing straight; If I'm in danger you'll be like really fast and save me? Or at least YOU will." She looked up at Kakashi and smiled. Her voice were very light and girlish, as anticipated with that small body of hers.
"The others will save you as well. You can count on that." Completely unaffected by the girls obvious interest in him, he glanced over at me and sent me one of those 'rigt-toshi?' looks.
I cocked an eyebrow at him, and peeped to his other side to get a glimpse of the small woman. I caught her eyes and instead of flickering away like she'd done before she just looked… Devilishly thoughtful. Then she looked up at Kakashi again, conveniently attaching herself to his arm victoriously. Come on? Give me some credit here; see what I'm putting up with?
"But you're the eldest and obviously the most skilled." She said
I was seriously freaked out by her sudden flirting, it was just wrong in every way for a female (or male for that matter) to flirt with Kakashi! I tried to stand it though but just took a few steps away from Kakashi as if he smelled badly. He looked relaxed down her, hands still in his pockets.
"Well, how can you know that? Toshi might be older than me." He said to her.
Mai looked like she was a little taken back by Kakashi's superior attitude, completely cold towards her flirting. I found that satisfying for some reason. Yeah, in your face Mai!... And on with the story: actually it came as no wonder to me, when thought through, that she 'liked' Kakashi. He had that relaxed, cool, strong exterior that most women liked (so was my impression). I snorted inwardly, thinking that Kakashi easily could be the player type if he wanted or if he weren't one in the first place? He was probably skilled from reading those nasty books he always carried with him. I'd never been in love before, so despite being a bit disgusted at first I found it kind of… entertaining to look at. Especially because she looked like the type who was used to get what she wanted. Seemed that Kakashi was just a bit out of her league. Surely didn't hope that Kakashi was used to get what HE wanted.
"You don't even know how old I am." I snapped at Kakashi just for the fun of it… Not that I knew his age.
"We only have an approximate age. It's not like you've shared much with me." He said.
A small flame flared in me, and I looked over at him irritated. What the fuck did he call all the things I told him yesterday! Wasn't that sharing? Jeez!
"Idiot!" I snorted and held up my fist, just like Sakura did whenever she threatened Naruto (guess it kind of sticks to you). Kakashi took a few steps to the side to pacify my sudden temper.
"Wasn't the things I told you yesterday sharing?" I hissed.
"E-easy Toshi." He said and took his hands up from his pockets and held them up in defense. I snorted at him and took my fist down offended.
"As a matter of fact, I'm 19." I said briskly and folded my arms over my chest.
"19?" he questioned.
"Yeah? Something wrong with that?" I cocked an eyebrow suspiciously at him. He always knew when my temper was serious. Kakashi looked away from me indifferently
"That's beside the point… You're still a kid." I was sure that he was smirking behind that mask…
"Am not! Just because I'm not a jounin!" I said, my voice thick of sarcasm.
"Actually—" Naruto walked up to us and rummaged around in one of his pockets before he pulled up a small book. He flipped through the pages and stopped on a page
"Kakashi-sensei's 26 years old, so he's actually older than you." Kakashi looked sheepishly at Naruto and I had to hold back a chuckle. Sometimes Naruto could be so unpredictable.
"You think I'M a kid? You're obviously compensating for something, Kakashii." I stuck my tongue out childishly at him. But I didn't get the reaction I wanted. Calling him a child only softened his eyes a bit before he looked away with a smile… weird.
"And he's 181 cm tall (5'11 feet for the Americans, right?)" Naruto read out loud
"Whoa! Give me that Naruto. Why'd you bring such a precious book with you on a mission? It could easily fall into the wrong hands." Kakashi said, trying to snap the book out of Naruto's hands.
"No wait, this is very interesting!" I said and held a hand out to pacify Kakashi and Naruto.
"No, give me that." Kakashi tried to swoop around me with no luck, launching his arm after the grinning Naruto. When someone was up for teasing or pranking, Naruto was always there.
"Okay, um. Blood type O. Weight 67 kg. um, ninja registration; 0097—" he was cut off when both Naruto and I was too interested in listening than to pay attention to him. He swooped around me and snapped the book out of Naruto's hands.
"Thank you. And next time, don't bring this book along Naruto." Kakashi snapped and stuffed it down to his other book. Just as I was about to object Mai's light voice broke our "discussion".
"Ninjas can do a lot of things right?" she asked and took a finger to her chin.
"Erh, yeah. Why?" Naruto replied, obviously irritated by her random question.
"That means that if I'm falling down a cliff, you could just grab me in midair?" I didn't like where this conversation was going.
"Where're you even getting with thi—" before I could finish my irritated sentence Mai ran past me, stopped and grinned at us and jumped over the edge… Yeah, you heard right; she JUMPED! Oh my god what a completely ridiculous and stupid thing to do!
"Toshi you're closest!" Everyone basically shouted at me at the same time.
"W-what?" I snapped a bit bewildered and confused. I wasn't going to go after that girlie.
As if Kakashi had predicted my answer he strode for her, pushing roughly by me. I don't know how what happened, happened. But due to my sharp senses I caught a glimpse of his sharingan and my world suddenly came tumbling down. I lost all hearing and heard a heartbeat pump like a speaker with high bass. I realized that Eien had waited for a moment like this to enter his mind. I was dragged into the tunnels of his eyes in whirlwind of lights. But as quick as floated through them, I suddenly stood in a black room. Black granite sand whirled around me as I tried to get a foothold. I had to cover my face as fear washed over me like a cold wave. The sand scratched me everywhere like sandpaper. It didn't make any sound though. Only a deep resounding and echoing bass was what I could hear. I tried to look ahead but couldn't see anything but the faint reflections of the sand that whirled around. There was no source of light to make the reflections; they were just there, as the only sources of light. All I knew though, was that this wasn't normal when you entered someone's mind. This had been what I'd felt the first time I had entered him, and I was a hundred percent sure that this was because of his sharingan.
"Eien no Honou!" I screamed in desperation cause she couldn't just suck me in here and then leave me alone to get my soul scratched up.
In that instant she landed beside me huge and mighty as the lioness she was. Her white fur illuminated the space around us and I was finally able to see the black sand under us properly. She landed slowly beside me, her expression fearless and indifferent despite the sands that flew around us. The sight of her were angelic; just watching the beautiful shapes of her muscles under the white shiny fur made me feel instantly proud.
"This is very unusual. It must be the tricks of the sharingan." She stated talking to me only by her thoughts.
"Is this even his mind? Why'd you drag me in here in the first place. You're gambling with the small amount of trust I've been building up with him" I snapped, realizing how stupid this was.
"I've been urging to see what this black dessert was since the last time." She said and stood strong and proud as she spoke, being that we were shoulder to shoulder in height.
She began to walk through the sands, and I couldn't tell where we were going or how she could find her way around here. It was hard to look without getting sand in my eyes and I had to shade them all the time.
"Where're we going? It's obvious that we can't come through the sharingan." I shouted through the deafening bass that rung all over.
"I'm looking for the easiest thing to enter right now." She answered.
Eien's paws stepped lightly, hardly seeming to press the sand, leaving no footprint as she passed while I struggled through the sand, trying not to slip of fall. I knew that the easiest thing to enter were the memories. There were a lot of different levels to a persons mind. The dreamy and subconscious state where you could build world of what you wanted – the fantasy so to say. Then the memories and then the true wake self which was hard to enter.
"We're here." Without realizing it, Eien had found a way to a black door I never would've seen without her.
"Eien we better get out." I said hesitantly even though I knew it was pointless to even ask.
"Hold on to me." She demanded and I did as told. I grabbed her fur and dug my head into her as she lowered her head and bared her teeth. A gust of fresh wind came up from under us. Her nature type was purely wind and therefore she was a strong wind-user. I hadn't experimented much with my own type, and didn't know how to molt in so I'd just used Eien's nature-type.
"Open the door." She said and her body vibrated with a low growl. I looked up and noticed that we stood in a silent 'bubble' where the sand lay calm.
I nodded to her and took a grip of the doorknob. In what seemed like one breath out, I were consumed by a white light. My hair flew upwards and I had to clench my eyes together for the bright light. I stood in the familiar room of memories, in this visual form as a thousand of perfect white drawers. There were no floor, and yet there was. It was like standing at a giant magnet which repelled you. Just a transparent floor.
"I left behind a small amount of chakra as light, if you ever enter him again." Eien said and walked into the middle of the circle.
"I still don't get how you do this." I muttered and turned rapidly around to gaze along the endless rows of drawers that continued upwards.
I didn't know how I felt about picking the memories of a ninja like Kakashi. He'd probably gone through things that were far worse than I could ever imagine. Faint whispers echoed around the room along with light humming voices.
Famous faces, far off places
Trinkets I can buy
No handsome stranger, heady danger
No ferris wheel, no heart to steal
No laughter in the dark
No one-night stand, no far-off land
No fire that I can spark
The voices was (of my knowledge) the content that had formed him which capriciously whispered. It was like the silence before the storm… If you opened one drawer, hell would break loose and every memory would be passed into your brain like data. I was already starting to forget the mission and the situation I'd left outside. I walked to drawer, took a peek at its exterior and then touched it lightly with a finger. It popped open and spilled all of its content out on me like a fountain of colors. Even though everything floated before my eyes, faster than the human eyes to see – time was slowed down when in the mind of someone and I could see everything of the drawer's content.
Kunai's and shuriken flew past me as sand covered pavements grew under me. Terror filled me as I saw Kakashi under the attack of the Kyuubi. I saw ninja's getting killed, commanders giving him orders. I felt overwhelmed by seeing this young Kakashi, it was a complete different picture. I saw him fight alongside with his friends; one in particular standing out who had bushy brows and black hair. Kakashi didn't seem to look like he liked him much, but I could feel how he felt and that was friendship and gratitude. The time of the Kyuubi had been hard mentally. I could feel it; everything he felt. The visions shifted in between pictures of the things he remembered the most. The drawer closed suddenly and two others spilled from above me before I could react. I covered my face instinctively as voices began to talk around me.
"Kakashi Hatake. Son of the genius Sakumo Hatake" in front of me stood a child Kakashi, clinging to his father's leg while looking proudly up at him. A warm laugh was heard from his father, whose face I couldn't see. I felt the strong bond of having family and felt the need, clinging to the feeling desperately.
"Sakumo, the white fang. You've achieved respect in the same level as the legendary sannin." A shadowy figures surrounded father and son, praising them for their superior intellect.
A smile crept to my face and I fought the urge to go hug the child Kakashi, knowing I couldn't as it was his memories and not something real. Suddenly a chill ran down my spine and everything turned dark and gloomy.
"Dad?" I could hear a childs voice and everything I'd felt was replaced with a coldness and sadness I couldn't describe. I man lay dead on the floor in front of the small Kakashi. I wanted to scream in rage, and wanted to cry my eyes away in sadness. The emotion Kakashi had felt at this moment was so strong that even his mind had locked this part away in another drawer.
Trees and grass grew around me and Kakashi's feet and his child form disappeared and was replaced with an older Kakashi. He stood on a stone in the woods as one of his teammates came running into the clearing.
"You idiot! What did you think we were meeting? If you're a fully fletched ninja, you should naturally follow the rules and regulations strictly." I don't think I could ever such words come out of Kakashi's mouth before now. I'd never seen him like that, and the whole scene was just surreal.
Kakashi looked didn't just look oblivious like always, but there were a cold edge to him. Just pure emptiness and coldness. It was hard for me to comprehend. I couldn't have imagined that Kakashi was capable of such kind of emotions.
"The ninjas who don't follow the rules and regulations are called trash." The mind doesn't remember every detail so you only see and hear fragments of what once happened. Besides; I had to be carefull. If I got too consumed by the memories, I could suffer as much under it as he did.
There was arguing with his teammate from before…I barely caught his name, Obito? It was the time when Kakashi had become a jounin – meaning that he was 13 years old. I could feel how I got dragged more and more into this memorie and I had to slam my hands over my ears to block out the increasing voices.
"The two of us will resume the mission! As a shinobi, sometimes it is essential to sacrifice your companion for the accomplishment of the mission." Kakashi stood in front of Obitio again, his voice filling my head like when Eien insisted on something. It was unbearable. It didn't sound like Kakashi at all, to abandon a teammate. That was what he'd been trying to teach me all time – to work as a team. I felt sick to my stomach, and at the same time I felt Kakashi's frustration.
"If you let your emotions run free and fail your mission, you will regret it in the future, because of that rule was decided that a shinobi must kill their emotions. You must understand that too." His eyes glared coldly at his friend. It was like a whole other Kakashi. Like his evil twin brother. But when his friend spoke a rush of emotions engulfed me again.
"I believe that the white fang is a true hero. Of course those who break the rules and regulations in the ninja world are trash. But… Those who don't care about their companions are even worse trash!" the words cut and me as they did in Kakashi.
"Anyway, if I'm that kind of trash, I will break the rules. If that's not being a true shinobi, then I'll crush that idea of being a shinobi!" My body going numb, I couldn't move. I knew I was trapped in the memory now, being too consumed.
The scenario repeated itself over and over as if somebody had put in on replay, I wanted to scream but I couldn't. Everything was too confusing. I breathed out heavily when the sound of a kunai cut the muddle and left me in the white, silent room again.
"Toshi, I think you've seen enough." Eien said from the far corner.
"No it's not over." I breathed and prepared myself emotionally as grass and trees began to grow around me again.
Kakashi stood not far from me on a branch, a deep cut sliced across his eyes and eyebrow. I gasped. So that was how he got that scar. But in that same instant everything passed me so fast, hitting me with a wave of emotions. The fight was over… But… Rocks came tumbling down over me. This time I screamed and covered myself. As I opened my eyes I wasn't myself. I had the same thoughts, the same feelings as Kakashi…
"Are you okay… Rin… Kakashi?" Obito's voice made me look up from my gloved hands. My heart almost skipped a beat. Obito lay under the masses of the rocks, half of his body smashed. My heart ached, as if it couldn't breath. I felt my guard break down after years of holding it so safe inside.
"Shit!" I spat, feeling more vulnerable than ever. It was like the possibility of losing the ones I truly loved just sank in.
"Why?" Rin – the girl said beside me. Numbness spread all through my body and I felt this soulful cry that could not be expressed. I slammed my hands to the ground angry at myself for letting this happen to Obito.
"I… If I from the beginning had gone along with what you said and went with you to rescue Rin. Something like this would never have happened." I said hearing Kakashi at the base of my voice.
"What kind of commander? What kind of jounin?" I breathed. The sorrow I felt stung inside almost brining forth tears, but I'd never really cried before. But it was too late to make things right…
"Toshi, you're letting your emotion run away with you." A voice made me jerk and I looked up standing on the top of the rocks looking down at Kakashi. I realized that my objective point of view had been disturbed and I'd seen the scene down there from Kakashi's point of view… Kakashi was the first person to ever had taken some kind of interest in me, and now I'd felt the same pain as he.
"Eien…" I breathed but couldn't say more.
"I think you're getting attached to this man." She stated.
"Maybe." I answered indifferently, too fixated on the scene before me. Perhaps this was why he was so fixated on teamwork. Looking at him then, and remembering him now I felt bad for my behavior. He didn't deserve to have such a sullen and bad-tempered girl like me around who only made his life a lot more difficult. Yet, he took me with him on this mission. I felt helpless, unable to prevent the death of Obito, just like Kakashi felt.
"Hey. No forget it. I'm the only one who didn't give you a present.. at your jounin celebration, right Kakashi?" Obito said in between pants.
"It's this sharingan of mine." He added, and both Kakashi, Rin and I's eyes widened.
"The people in the village. What they must've been saying. That you're a great jounin. That's how I feel. Please accept it."
My heart ached as his friend poured out his heart on the edge of dying, genuinely offering Kakashi his most precious gift of birth. I had to look away as the memory changed form and Kakashi now stood beside me on top of the rocks. So many emotion were visible in his face, that he almost reminded me of Naruto. Kakashi was torn, angry and sad. When I saw his new eye crying a flash of shock ran through me.
"But. I can become your eye. And from now, I will see the future." Obito's words lingered in his thoughts all around us.
The picture melted into the ground and I was left standing in the white room, completely untouched as if nothing had happened. I collapsed to the ground, not believing what I'd witnessed. It was one of Kakashi's most precious memories and now I could feel them too. The loneliness I'd experienced back home couldn't be compared to the feeling of loosing someone close to you.
"Eien, take me out now." I breathed and took a hand to my forehead. Eien, who hadn't been taken any part in the memory growled.
"We are going further." She commanded. But I wasn't, I couldn't go any further.
"Out, NOW!" I shouted of the top of my lungs and looked directly into her fierce eyes.
Eien frowned at me and my attitude and bared her teeth. We stared at each other for a while before she surrendered and roared so loud that the walls around us shivered. In a twirl of light fell down the tunnel of his eyes, and felt the heavy burden of my body coming back. I tripped backwards as if repelled by a magnet and fell to the ground with a bump, as so did Kakashi in front of me.
"Shit!" I sensed someone say faintly and barely noticed Sasuke going after Mai who was falling down. I felt a bit dizzy and knew that about one second had passed by out here.
"Kakashi-sensei? Toshi?" Sakura squeaked frightened. I sensed fresh air and sunlight again and opened my eyes, everything I'd just seen rushing back into me like a wave. I was stunned and flabbergasted as Naruto peeped down at me. Kakashi was sitting up on the ground, rubbing his head with Sakura by his side, as Sasuke came up from the cliff again.
"Don't EVER do that again!" Sasuke shouted at Mai and bumped her down on the ground angrily.
"Toshi?" Naruto asked me for the third time and looked worried down at me.
But I couldn't stop staring at Kakashi. He had a look of shock plastered in his only visible eye. I had to take quick deep breaths to deal with the well of emotions that had been transferred into me and immediately began to regret what I'd done. I hadn't just picked his mind, but knew that he was fully aware of what I've seen, and he had relived it as well. Looking at the old Kakashi and remembering the young one made my heartache. It was the same person in front of me… Just older.