A/N: Thanks for reading guys and sticking with me on this journey. I'm completely out of my comfort zone with this and am learning every time I take to my laptop, which may explain the different styles and why the chapters seem to be getting longer. I do have a vague outline in my mind for this story but it's still quite fluid.
I have a favour to ask though. I've never been to NYC or America even so if anyone has any genuine tips or suggestions as to where the characters might go, shop and restaurant wise, I'd be immensely grateful.
Oh and there's some speculation about the upcoming finale so if you've not read the synopsis, I apologise in advance and also for the swearing. By the by, the song is "Million Dollar Bill" by Whitney. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: Not mine, never has been, never will be.
I hate when he does that. He has the most expressive face and the way he deflated so quickly makes me feel like I've kicked his puppy or something. Speaking of which, I must remember to pick Betsy up from our neighbour before we get Charlotte from Mrs Puckerman's. Damn it, why does the shower always take so long to warm up? Stupid, slow boiler.
The problem, or rather the sticking point, is that I would happily have more kids, the white picket fence and a big enough garden for the dog to run around in but I'm not going to do it by myself nor am I going to commit to another kid if Puck would rather be living it large with the guys. It's not fair on Charlotte, this hypothetical child, myself or Puck even.
Not that he isn't a good father, because he is, particularly given the only example he had was long gone. Maybe that's what made him able to decide what he shouldn't do, maybe it's just because underneath all his "badass-ness", there really is a good guy with a kind heart. Lord knows, I'm just eternally grateful for him most days.
For example, when my waters broke at Sectionals, I panicked. All through my pregnancy, I never once thought about what will happen when the baby's meant to arrive. Sure, I knew about the Lamaze technique, who doesn't these days? But the reality? Nothing like the films and TV shows made it out to be. So much pain and lets be fair, the gore.
Puck made sure I got to the hospital on time. I certainly didn't want my baby being born in the foyer of a concert hall, with all the various people milling around. He hijacked the school bus we came in and jumped so many lights, I was sure the police were going to flag him down whilst I gave birth in the aisle or something. Didn't help that the ride had more similarities to a rollercoaster ride but by this point, whether my knuckles were white was because of that or the searing pains, I'm not sure.
Somehow, thanks to a guardian angel no doubt, we made it to the hospital both in one piece and Puck calmed down enough to explain my waters had broken to the receptionist, while I hee hee hawed next to him, and the kindly nurse, Janet, put me in a wheelchair to take me to a room. Not long after, an obstetrician came to examine me. According to Dr Callaghan, I was already 5cm dilated but he'd back in the next hour to see how I'm progressing.
Of course neither of us really knew what the hell was going on, for all our book reading, but I got Puck to time the contractions. Surprisingly, he did so without a murmur and rubbed my lower back in between each one. Any dignity I thought I'd kept after my parents so wilfully abandoned me was gone out the window when I caught a glimpse of myself in the TV's reflection : on my hands and knees panting, hair stuck to my head, an unfashionable gown on and Puck looking paler than Casper.
After a time the contractions faded a little so he went to get me some ice chips and some water for himself. As fate would have it, that was when the biggest contraction so far happened. Thankfully, Janet was still in the room and got Dr Callaghan back. Unfortunately by this point, I was too far gone to have an epidural and would just have to do my best Supergirl impression. Damn Puck for letting me read his comics. In fact, I may well have damned him a lot that day.
Mr Comic book man himself choose that moment where I was screaming his name in fury to come back in, proceeding to drop both the water and the ice chips and despite my pain, I still rolled my eyes at him. For whatever reason, he just smiled and when he was told to probably head up towards my head for his own well-being, he did and grabbed my hand from Janet, kissed my forehead and carried on smiling beatifically, despite the fact my nails were in his palm.
When Callaghan said the baby was crowning, I was beyond exhausted, desperate for the toilet – again - and ready to commit myself to the nearest nunnery just so the pain would be over already but there he stood, whispering sweet nothings, praising me, telling me that we're about to meet our daughter and then when I got told "one last push, Ms Fabray.", I felt the stars go off behind my eyes. When I opened them, all I could hear was the gutsy wail from my little girl, I had a little girl!In that moment, I just knew I couldn't give her up.
So at 9.28pm on Saturday May 15th 2010, Noah and I became parents to a baby girl, weighing 6lb 10oz. While they cleaned her off and weighed her, all fingers and toes accounted for, as well as making sure everything was OK with me, I told Puck she wasn't going to be adopted and if he wanted to, we can actually attempt to parent together. He kissed me then, the biggest lip smacking I'd ever had in my life, and I looked terrible, typical of us though.
Janet brought her back to me so I could finally hold the baby that was the catalyst for so many changes in my life. We might struggle but it was a struggle I was more than ready to do, more so in that moment than any time during the pregnancy and Puck was going to be there with me every step of the way.
Looking at her beautiful face, I could see she got his nose, my lips, his face structure, my hair colour but Puck's natural curly hair and my eyes except hers were blue at this point but would eventually change into a hazel green as she got older. We had to decide on a name though. I don't think baby girl Fabray Puckerman wouldn't work when she got to school.
My biggest concession during pregnancy was buying a baby names book that I carried around with me everywhere. I might not have ended up keeping her but I still would have wanted to name her something that suited. I asked Puck to open my bag and get the book out for me, while I attempted to feed the baby. After much adjustment, she latched on and suckled greedily away. He didn't know where to avert his eyes to, after all, he'd not seen them for nearly 9 months and when he did, his daughter's using them as food.
He pulled up a chair and asked why so many pages had a corner folded over? I explained that these were the names that had the strongest resonance with me but he was welcome to look at any others that he might like. After a flick through, he said that my choices looked good and he was happy to let me have final say. So baby girl became Charlotte Annabella Fabray Puckerman, with her name meaning strong woman and joy, everything I want for her and everything she already is.
By this point, Charlotte was full and gurgling away so I told Puck to come sit on my bed and finally hold his little girl. He put his arm around me and just stroked her forehead while I melted into a puddle of goo.
Soon real life started creeping in and Janet came by to say Charlotte had to go onto the baby ward, just for observation as she was slightly early and that I had visitors anxious to know how we all were including the other Gleeks by the sounds of it and my mother. When she said that, I could feel old Quinn start to come to the fore as I started to tidy myself up further, trying to present the perfect daughter image yet again but I was a mother myself now and there's no way she was going to boss me around any more.
I asked Puck to speak to the Glee club, find out what happened at Regionals and send my mother in. He asked if I wanted him to stay behind for support but I knew this needed to be done alone and on neutral ground. Where better than the hospital, where I was going to get a horrific bill through in the next few weeks, seeing as I was no longer on their insurance.
In she strolled like nothing was wrong and she hadn't complied with my father's awful demands, leaving her pregnant, teenage daughter homeless. For some reason, she reminded me of Ms Sylvester, after she'd been pulled up by Mr Figgins yet again. In the wrong but still so sure of herself. If it been for the power of good, I'd have been impressed.
"Hello Quinn, how are you doing?"
"Just peachy and fine, gave birth, you know, the usual."
"Now there's no need to get sarcastic, my dear girl."
"Oh really? Isn't there? What are you doing here anyway?"
"Just came by to tell you that once you've gotten rid of that bastard child, you're welcome home. I've spoken to your dad and it's best for everyone if you return, you've more than ruined our reputation enough. We can pretend this episode never happened, we'll pay off the hospital bills but you're not to have any contact with that awful Jewish boy. Oh yes, I heard that Finn wasn't the father, the ladies in the country club were appalled. I don't know what you're playing at, young lady but this wasn't the way we raised you. In fact, your aunt in Concord said that there was a good school you could transfer to, you know, until this has all died down. What do you say to that, Quinn? See how this can all be resolved simply, you can come back next year and there'll probably be a new scandal. After all, yesterday I heard that there was an incident down at the community theatre with Mr Ryan and the director of Les Misérables and Julia said..."
At this point, I exploded.
"Fuck you, mum. You can tell dad to fuck himself too. How dare you? How can you come in here and act like this? I've just had your first grandchild and you're calling her a bastard? She's beautiful, wonderful and I'm keeping her. I would rather live at the bus station than come back to the shell you call a home. My daughter is not going to be raised this way. I hope the hams, country club and reputation keep you warm at night because you're sure as hell out of my life. If needs be, I will get myself emancipated but believe you me, for a "good Christian", you've got one hell of a screwed up notion of what that is. Get out of my room and so help me God, if I live in Lima for the rest of my natural days, I will never once acknowledge you. Run along, you're probably missing Glenn Beck or something equally vile." and I turned away, as quickly as the pain would let me,
After hearing the door close, I just broke down in tears. When Puck came back in, I'm sure he wondered what he'd let himself in for all over again but for all my misjudgement, he just held me and let me sob whilst telling me all about Regionals and how excited all the girls (and Kurt) in Glee were about our baby, bar Santana of course. Apparently, she hated the idea of stretch marks or pushing a baby out, she had a figure to maintain after all, plus they poo all the time. Rachel threatened to come in and sing something but Janet, wonderful Janet, told everyone to go home and let me rest. Crying and giggling at the same time was something new but only Rachel would want to perform after Regionals.
From that day on, Puck was the most supportive, kindest guy, who stopped man whoring it about and actually got a job with benefits, which he fitted in around school and Glee. Now more than ever, was I thankful that Puck was the father and not Finn. The difference in maturity levels of pre-Charlotte and post, astonished me and with the help of the club, Mr Shuester and Miss Pillsbury, as she was known then, even Ms Sylvester, who paid my bills despite knowing I'd never return to Cheerios, not forgetting Mrs Puckerman and Rebekah, we all settled into a happy routine.
Not that there were rainbows and sunshine everyday but Charlotte's made every day special and when Puck and I finally got together, legitimately, without interference, I didn't think my life could get better.
Which brings me to today, in an apartment where the boiler is temperamental, the kitchen/living room area somewhat too small now, particularly with Betsy around, and the love of my short, varied life lying in bed, no doubt wondering when I'll be done washing my hair.
Maybe I should give him a chance again. He's still the same guy who makes my stomach flip, the one who only has to smirk to make me start fantasising about ravishing him, which made Glee an embarrassing occasion on more than a couple of times, and the guy who made a mistake six months ago and told me about it, rather than pretending it didn't happen. Surely that counts for something?
Argh, it's gone cold. Damn it, this boiler's annoying, I'm glad the conditioner's already rinsed out though. Better go get ready and tell Puck it's going to be a while before he can jump in. Gotta get our little girl and see what happens. I quite fancy some bacon actually, maybe they'll be up for a Ihop breakfast? Bring on today, it feels good to me.