Wow, I'm so sorry it took me so long to post this next chapter, but I've simply been to busy to write and edit! This is a long one so I hope you enjoy it :)
Hayate was visibly disappointed the next morning when we sat out for the mission. Isao was annoying the crap out of me, his humble facade from yesterday completely gone. He was back at being a smug bounty hunter, and I could only guess it was his way of surviving. Starting to realize the feelings I had for Kakashi, I was even more reluctant to sit with him on the dog sleigh. I simply refused to acknowledge that I was growing so comfortable with physical contact. When I looked back at my life with him, I'd changed drastically in these past days, or at least I'd overcome some barriers. I almost always cringed at the thought that I let him touch my neck in the forest. I felt a great deal of shame about the way I'd changed, but also liked it at the same time. I guess you could say I was very confused and it was a realization I'd woken up with this morning. I felt afraid that he was going to take distance from me at some point, and I would look like the idiot. Knowing Kakashi, if he had any kind of feelings for me, he would never admit them or act upon them. He was used to the attention girls gave him, and it would take a great deal of a girl to be that special to him. Even though I already knew a great deal about him, we'd both missed out on major parts of each others life. I didn't know if he was still waiting for his childhood crush, or if he just hadn't met anyone he thought was special enough.
I sighed, pulling my cloak closer to my neck, as I leaned against Kakashi. The wind was howling in our ears and the dogs running in front of us was barking loudly. Although Kakashi hadn't minded me leaning against him, I still felt like I was crossing a line on his and my own behalf. It was nothing compared to our closeness on the ship, but the situation had been different.
We made it to an outpost in the middle of nowhere and from there we had to walk by foot. Kakashi and I had repacked our backpacks to be less heavy and more sufficient, only one of us carrying a tent and a chakra heater. Isao said that it would take about half a day to get there which meant that we had to acquire a few hours sleep to keep the energy level up.
The snow was heavy as we started through the never ending landscape, an our slow walk was mostly kept in silence. Isao shared a few stories of his past, not missing any opportunities to ask Kakashi for advice about anything ninja-related.
When the oceans started to bare, I felt the brisk wind that came from the shores. But we didn't get to see much of the icy water from the distance, when large icebergs started to block our vision. The white snow giants towered over us in a watchful silence like living things, rumbling deeply beneath the ocean. The hike was exhausting, as we three made our way through the thick land of ice and cliffs, helping each other on difficult paths.
At last, a towering cave hole came into our view, looking like a long mouth screaming in pain. It's shape and sheer size made me feel small and insignificant. We walked inside in silence, everyone marveling at the size of the cave. Even Kakashi's eyes were wide as he admired the ancient cave of ice. There was an unspoken rule of not speaking at the moment as we all walked, feeling our own insignificance.
Isao, stopped to turn on an oil lamp as we ventured deeper into the cave. I felt Eien stir in me in a way I haven't felt in a long time, and looked down at my feet to a deep blue, almost black color on the floor. A chill washed through me when I realized we were walking on bare ice. An adrenalin kick ran through me like I was standing on glass up in sky and looking down.
"Guys, do you now that we can look directly into the ocean from here?" I asked dryly.
Isao frowned and held out the lamp to look better at the floor, and both he and Kakashi seemed to have the same reaction as I. I took in a deep breath and let it out to calm myself.
"This place is strange." Kakashi commented before we started to move forward again.
"Yup. Eien's getting rilled up." I said, coursing Kakashi to look at me concerned.
"I get the chills." Isao said.
We continued for a little while before a feeling made the hackles in my neck rise. A deep rumbling of something moving beneath us made all my senses go sharp. I breathed out sharply, and looked slowly down. In the moment, right then I was struck with awe as a large shadow, bigger than anything I'd ever seen, moved underneath us slowly, filling the broad path we were walking. I gasped, turning around myself to try and get a picture of its size.
"I think there's a whale beneath us." Kakashi said, having noticed the same thing as me.
We stopped once again to marvel at the shadow beneath us, and then continued on.
"There must be some kind of hidden underwater passage beneath us." I said, starting to tread carefully.
No one answered and we carried on all three awestruck and humble to the ancient place we were in. We reached a wall that would have to be climbed, and used our chakra to cling to the icy wall as we climbed it.
A whisper of wind tore through the tunnels and the feel of it was unnatural. Bracing myself for whatever that came, I also fought with the agitated small bursts of chakra Eien sent around me. It was hard to keep focus when I had to use my mental strength to calm her down as she was impossible to talk to. Before the end of a tunnel, we started to see a strange light. It was as if light was reflected off of the surface of water, creating a beautiful wavy pattern in the icy ceiling.
The old lady did talk about a pond in the ice I thought, my brain starting to work out theories of why there was a certain amount of water which wasn't frozen. There had to be a hole in the cave in order for the light to shine in.
We came in sight of what seemed like a large chamber, a big hole in the middle illuminating the entire place. I stopped by Kakashi's side to marvel at the phenomenon, Eien going rigid inside of me.
"Are you okay? You look like you're... Struggling." Kakashi said from beside me, seeming to have been watching me instead of the marvelous cave.
"Yeah, it's just Eien who's tense." I said, as Isao started to go through his backpack.
"Why?" Kakashi asked simply.
I could tell from the way he was slightly frowning and tilting his head downwards while looking at me, that he was on edge and alert. I sighed, trying to hold a good pokerface.
"I don't know. Don't worry about it, lets just concentrate on the mission." I said, closing the conversation by turning away from him.
Kakashi's P.O.V
He watched as Toshi turned away from him, something brewing in the depths of her eyes. Despite the cold, a sweat had broken out on her forehead and her gaze was distant and troubling. She was slouching a bit, her normally lean and womanly posture gone the slightest. She was struggling more than she showed, he could tell that, but decided to drop it, hoping he would find out later.
"We should decide our tasks to be more efficient." He said -"Isao you should take a sample from the water, as soon as we now that it isn't harmful. Toshi-" he stopped considering if he should give her an easy task.
"You should use your psychic abilities or instincts to get a feel of the place. I'll help Isao to figure out how stable the water is. I sense it isn't anything we should touch." He said.
Isao nodded in agreement and they continued to unpack the needed gadgets and scrolls to do this. Setting his mind on the task ahead, Kakashi held Toshi as a second focus in the back of his mind and casually cast a look over his shoulder at her and looked back again, before he realized what he'd looked away from.
Standing with her back to him, she stood close to the pond, slow moving shadows creating black spots in the illuminated ice underneath them. Something was swimming in circles around the pond and Toshi looked almost ancient and alien in the blue light that was cast on her.
"Did you pick up something yet?" He asked her, starting to grow suspicious.
"No. Only some kind of strange pressure." She said, her voice hoarse and forced.
Kakakshi got up and turned fully to her starting to grow really concerned. She was still an unpredictable factor to bring on a mission, although she'd grown a lot, and had it been anyone else he would've been annoyed to have been teamed up with someone so unpredictable.
"Maybe you should step away." Isao said, seeming to have realized the same thing too.
Kakashi nodded, and stepped forward when she gave them no reaction, but kept still in her place by the pond. He was about to say something else, when she started to crouch over like she had bad ache in the stomach. He could hear her hiss forcefully before she took herself to the head, slouching more and more.
"Toshi?!" He called and started walking towards her, his steps growing faster by each step.
A hysteric, horrific scream echoed through the cave and Kakashi barely grabbed Toshi as she fell to her back in spasms, screaming at the top of her lungs, pressing air out like her vocal cord couldn't process enough air through the throat.
Kakakshi had no idea what to do, than to hold her so she wouldn't hurt herself, an adrenalin kick having risen in him at the helpless feeling he suddenly had. Although he was trained to solve problems under difficult circumstances he often felt clueless about Toshi and her power. Her scream continued until every bit if air was emptied from her lungs, and she hung limply in his arms by the floor.
Wide eyed he stared at her limp form, sensing her chakra signature change. Assessing the situation in his mind futilely, Isao came rushing up to them, crouching down beside Kakashi to check Toshi's vital signs. Kakakshi fought a natural instinct to turn her away from Isao, but stayed in place, not needing to check her vital signs to sense if she was still alive.
"She's unconscious." Kakashi said.
Something deep in his gut stirred. An alert feeling that made the hairs in his arm stand. But it was a mixture if something else. A mixture of adrenalin and fear - fear of losing her so suddenly to something so unexplainable. His eyes snapped to her hand as it twitched, and soon a throaty cough followed from her dangling head.
"What happened?" Isao asked, still peeping at her in question.
Kakashi wanted to snap at him for asking such stupid, unnecessary questions; how should he know? He couldn't think properly with someone constantly intruding his thought pattern by being oblivious to seriousness of the situation. Refraining from giving the bounty hunter a scold, Kakashi diverted his attention to the slowly awakening Toshi, her body slowly setting in gear. Her legs gave another twitch as if she was testing out her overstrung muscles. When she opened her eyes, he was too busy with coming up with an explanation for her behavior to pay good enough attention to her actual state.
Blinking a couple of times into the face of Isao, Kakashi had expected her to lash out at the bounty hunter for being so close, but no such thing happened. She sat up slowly in front of him taking a hand to her head as she stared into the icy path under them. Kakashi couldn't shake off the sense that something was deeply wrong and let his hand linger on her back to feel he was in control of the wild girl.
"Toshi. What happened?" He asked softly, surprising himself with the concern in his voice.
A light of memory seemed flicker in her eyes as the silent girl sat and rubbed her head. She lifted a slender hand up in front of her and looked at it, turning her palm as if looking at something foreign.
"Did something happen to your hand?" Isao asked, and Kakashi put up a hand up to silence the man, his eyes still deeply focused on her.
"Toshi?" Kakashi asked a bit louder, hoping to get an answer out.
She cleared her throat as if testing it, and looked away at the illuminated pond in front of them. Kakashi bit his lip nervously, hating the current gut feeling he had and how he had to ignore it.
"I... I don't know what happened." She said, her voice soft and thoughtful.
Kakashi was silent and let his hand slip willingly away from the person that made him ignore his basic instincts.
"But I feel okay." She said, putting her hands in the ice to lift herself up.
Kakashi wasn't convinced though and he'd spend too much time perfecting psychological knowledge to know that something was not right. She lifted herself up slowly, rising upwards in a almost to smooth motion like a puppet being controlled by strings.
"We'll, uh... I'll go get the last things then." Isao said.
Ignoring him, Kakashi stood up slowly, feeling his muscles work, just in case. Toes, check. Thighs, check. Fingers, check. Toshi's dark figure in the bright contrast to the light, stood and stared down at in the pond once again.
"You must've felt something before you passed out." He was hesitant when speaking, his words searching for any evidence that she was back to normal.
He squinted his eyes when a deep feminine chuckle erupted from her, the feminine broad shoulders bouncing delicately on each side of her. One step after the other, she started around the pond, her cat-like elegance exaggerated and flirtatious in ways he thought couldn't get more feline alike. Had he not been in this situation he swore to himself that every man on the street would've turned around an extra time at her mere walk.
"Someone's in a good mood." Isao said, having returned to Kakashi's side and was staring bluntly at the woma- girl walking to the other side of the pond.
Kakashi's eyebrow stirred slightly at Isao's obliviousness, but cursed himself for not finding the guts to address her strangeness in her presence. He found himself thinking that she gave him the feeling of being in a room with a silent ticking bomb. Isao started to scramble around with the things, finding glasses and other stuff to line it up.
"Right." Isao got up and started towards the edge of the pond and Kakashi followed silently, his eyes never leaving the lingering figure of Toshi who now stood on the opposite side of the pond, basked in blue light and staring down at it with a strange expression.
"It's quite far down. I'll have to climb to get a sample." Isao said.
Toshi's eyes snapped to Isao, and the startling ice blue color which penetrated him sent a rush of fear through Kakashi as realization dawned upon him.
"Don't touch it!" She snarled at him, crouching slightly in feline aggression.
Isao who still didn't get a thing of what was happening frowned dumbly and looked at the woman quizzically.
"This chakra is unstable and ancient. It shouldn't be disturbed." A confident more controlled version of Toshi's voice spoke.
"Eien no Honou. What have you done with Toshi?" Kakashi asked, making sure to keep his voice carefully neutral to not provoke the proud creature.
Squinting his eyes suspiciously something in him didn't dare to move an inch. He'd never seen Eien come through Toshi this way. Normally there was the transformation, and Toshi hadn't told him about this kind of situation before, and he immediately wondered if she had kept that fact a secret on purpose. Another side of him got worried, instantly wondering if Toshi was capable of ever coming back from the depths of her own mind. Another womanly condescending laughter echoed through the cave before the ice blue eyes shot to his, a wild fierceness gleaming at him.
Don't look away. A drop of sweat trickled down his chin and was absorbed by his mask. He was unsure of how to act around the temperamental lioness.
"Kakashi Hatake." She tilted her head and smiled tempting at him, her eyes not matching the warm smile-"finally I can meet you properly."
Said man relaxed his posture purposely and let out a deep silent breath.
I don't know if taking over Toshi's body should be called properly, he thought but searched to form the right sentence.
"Well then. Nice to meet you lioness." He said.
"Um, what's going on?" Isao asked.
Eien's eyes snapped to Isao, everything about Toshi's body screaming of predator. Even Kakashi wanted to flinch away from that gaze.
"Are you that thing inside of Toshi?" Isao asked pointing a finger questioningly across the pond to where she stood.
If the situation hadn't been as serious as it was, Kakashi would've smacked himself in the forehead with his palm. How could someone be so damned clueless about someone he'd kissed?!
"You. You're that man who kissed Toshi." She hissed and if she'd had lion ears they would've been laying flat against her head.
Isao began to stutter, slowly moving towards Kakashi. The threat in which Eien posed seemed to have sunk into the thick skull of his.
"Eien, if I may. Do you know anything about this place?" Kakashi asked, deciding to put all other questions aside and make her focus on something else but them.
Her eyes snapped back to his, and he felt himself frown, catching a lump in his throat at the nervous feeling which returned. Her features softened at the sight of him, and she stood more straight again and held her chin high.
"No but I can feel it. Just as I can feel how nervous you are." The corner of her mouth twitched in a smile. "Not as clearly as him though. You're very good at concealing your emotions."
He wasn't sure if that was a compliment, but took it as such anyhow. His eyes lingered on hers before he looked to Isao without answering the lioness.
"Isao. You should start." He said in a calm voice.
He had expected the lioness to course great disturbance and was prepared to fight for his life. His insides were like a knob of high alert and adrenalin, but he forced his facade relaxed to show the lioness trust, hoping with all his heart it was enough to conceal his actual feelings.
Kakashi moved to the edge of the pond to look down at twirling light that reflected back at him brightly, forcing him to squint his eyes. Every second he felt Eien's gaze on him, burning a hole all the way into his core, setting his nerves on a higher and higher alert.
It made his hackles rise when she started walking, not going unnoticed that her path was set for him. He cursed himself for being so on edge. There had been no signs of threat from her, yet still he felt like he was being stalked by a predator, out to get him when he least expected it.
"Why are you here? Do you wish to kill us?" The words spilled out of him as he couldn't take the tension that lingered anymore, and he looked at her from the corner of his eyes.
Once again she laughed, this time softly, and smiled down at him with so much womanly sexuality that he would've blushed if he hadn't known who was behind the smile.
"Hatake Kakashi, you disappoint me. I would never do you any harm. You are responsible for Toshi's happiness aren't you?"
He turned to her more fully, not sure of her words were true, but quickly decided to play along, hoping it could buy Toshi some time to return to her body.
"You're saying Toshi is happy now?" He asked, finding the words strange on his tongue.
"Happier than before." She cocked an eyebrow and folded her arms over her chest.
The knot that had formed in his stomach lightened at the words of the lioness, and he was suddenly immensely grateful to the hokage for letting Toshi under his care. To have not only Toshi, but the Lioness within her on his side was a flattering thought.
"I didn't realize." He muttered looking back into the pond to feel the flow of chakra below him.
The lioness snorted beside him and walked closer, the odd mixed chakra signature once again tightening the knot in his stomach.
"Please Kakashi. You know very well that you two have formed a bond. Don't play stupid!" Eien's tone was scolding and he desperately wished for the conversation to take another turn.
"Maybe we should focus on the task ahead while you're still here. Talking about Toshi and I aren't going to solve any problems." He snapped making sure to make his voice carefully neutral before he rose to face her penetrating gaze.
She scowled at him dissatisfied and tilted her head in an animalistic way. She showed every emotion in her body language and eyes unlike Toshi who was normally more cold and hard to read. It was evident to him that he suddenly missed Toshi and her more easy going nature. Eien was to much of an untamed woman for him to handle and was even more unpredictable than Toshi.
"My my. No time for bullshit with you." She purred taking two steps closer to him.
She was close, that was for sure. He could almost feel her breath hitting him in warm puffs. But he didn't back down and held his ground, every nerve in him ready for anything unpredictable. She smirked as her eyes lingered from his feet and all the way up again to his eyes, holding a confidence he'd never seen Toshi show before, as he stared down at her. Ice blue and yet filled with a fierce flame she stared, not blinking, not wavering in anyway, forcing all insecurities to rise in him.
"Show me your red eye and I will assist you with my knowledge, copy ninja." She purred, tilting her chin upwards confidently.
He knew what it meant though, remembering the times he'd accidentally let Toshi see the sharingan. But he wasn't oblivious. It had been Eien's doing the times it had happened.
"No. We will figure this this out with or without you, Lioness." He said, feeling a frown starting to form in his restraint from taking a step back.
She hissed and stepped away from him, her eyes darting to the pond. For a moment she was silent and Kakashi almost held his breath as he didn't dare to look away from the creature. She squinted her eyes searchingly, blue light bathing her in a stunning color.
He almost jumped when she turned to him again, having opened her mouth to say something but stopped as her gaze rested on something, or rather some one behind Kakashi.
"What're you doing?!" She asked.
Kakashi turned around to see Isao who was fully equipped to climb down the pond to collect a sample.
"Just-" Isao hacked a pleg into the ice-" going to collect a sample."
Eien walked straight to Isao, pushing Kakashi to the side in the process and looked angrily down at the man who now hang over the edge of the pond.
"You can't touch it! It's too unstable!" She hissed at him, and held the robe so he couldn't climb down.
"Shut up, I think it can handle a light touch." Isao snapped back and slapped Eien's hand away.
"Why you insolent little-"
All Kakashi was noticing was the small trickle of ice which trailed down the edge of the pond, and then fell mid air, and plopped into the water, silencing the bickering two.
A deep tremble shook the ground under them and the shadows which moved underneath disappeared like frightened mice. Kakashi's mind was working fully instantly, taking in every detail of what was happening. Nothing is breaking. The tremble doesn't grow stronger. Nearest exit. He darted around to the entrance from where they came, seeing it was still free. Only small fragments of ice fell from the roof until the tremble slowly silenced. Eien had moved away from the edge her eyes wide and full of fear.
"Eien is right. We'll have to study this another way." Kakashi said, feeling like the new silence was maybe a tad too silent.
"You ignorant idiot!" Eien roared at Isao, who looked all the more pale than before.
"It was your foot!" Isao spat back, and in that instant his peck snapped up from the loosened ice and the two standing looked in horror, not quick enough to react as Isao fell.
"No!" they shouted simultaneously and Eien pitched forward and grabbed the robe.
Kakashi closed his eyes in horror at the splashing sound of something hitting the water. Eien lay dangerously still, panting in adrenalin with the robe clutched in her hands, as no one dared to look away.
"Fuck."
It was Isao, who spoke just as the deep tremble started to erupt again. Kakashi darted to Eien, and took a grip in the heavy stretched robe. He looked over the edge to see Isao's legs soaked in the bright water, and Isao who dangled in his equipment.
"Someone get me up." He whimpered.
Eien was up in a second pushing Kakashi ferociously to the side before hurling Isao up in the line with such force that he landed several feet away form the pond on his back.
The tremble had deepened within the cave, and ice and rocks started to fall from the ceiling and the ground beneath them shook violently.
"We have to get out of here!" Kakashi called to the others.
Every instinct in him was taking over and a fresh rush of adrenalin had filled his body with new energy. He rushed to Isao and picked him up on his feet, not taking a moment to see if Eien was following up.
"Come on!" He called again, dodging a boulder which flew from the ceiling.
The deep tremble was ear deafening, but he barely noticed, the only thing on his mind to escape the cave before it collapsed on them. Forcing chakra to his feet he sped forward, using his sharingan to calculate a path in between the falling boulders and collapsing walls. For the briefest of moments he cast a look over his shoulder, and was met by blue walls smashing against each other. Alas, there was no Toshi in sight. He stopped in his tracks, and looked around the crumbling cave, his sharingan picking her up near the pool, flat on the ground and face down.
A new blast of fear hit him along with a strange hollow feeling in his chest. Ever since Obito he had promised himself to never abandon a comrade again although this time the odds of surviving were slim. Abandoning Isao, he ran back for her without a second thought, running up and around boulders which kept filling the track.
"Toshi!" He called desperately, instinctively picking up at pattern on how she always seemed to faint every time Eien had taken over her mind.
He lashed into the air, jumping on falling boulders, his speed and strength making time seem to slow, as he leaped through the strange maze. He crashed down by her side, crouching and swung her arm around his shoulder without question, and leapt forward once again.
"Toshi wake up!" He growled as he ran along a wall that had yet to collapse.
Her eyes started to open yet her head was still dangling, and in that instant something coursed through Kakashi that made him stop. Like a bomb of sound, something blasted all boulder sideways, and they were both slung forward into a wall of ice, as every sound was completely gone. Leaving Toshi by the wall, Kakashi knew he had one last resort to keep them both from harm, and moved through the haze of ice and rock to stand in front of Toshi and clapped his hand to his other arm and conjured chakra into his palm.
Lightning chakra sputtered to life from his palm, and his chidori came to life. He held out his arm in harsh strength trying to obliterate every stone and boulder blasted in their direction.
He felt the physical drain immediately from holding his chidori for so long, and barely discovered when Toshi stood by his side, her eyes wide in fear and stubbornness.
The light from the pond in the distance grew bigger, and suddenly every sound came crashing down on them again.
"Let me get in front!" She shouted, not before performing a series of seals which he recognized immediately.
He moved his chidori to the side to let her in front of him, and a surge of wind blasted up around them, until forming an air current around them. He held onto her shoulder as his chidori still flared. An odd sensation trickled through his fingers, and he looked down to see his chidori starting to mix with the chakra bound air around them. The lighting flared and protested as it started envelope them in a field of burning thunder, until a blue screen surrounded them like an energy field. Toshi was crouching, holding out her hands still to deflect anything that came in their way.
For a few seconds the moment was serene. A mighty boulder smoldered into atoms. Her feet started to slide backwards. A growl escaped her mouth. He couldn't grasp the concept of the jutsu they just had created in unison.
"Keep that lighting thing going." She shouted.
He was reminded of how strong the blonde girl actually was, and was again hit by a wave of gratefulness for her to be his ally. It wasn't often he felt that way as he was rarely outmatched.
But he snapped back to reality when the wall behind them gave in like it was sighing, and boulders started to tremble upon eachother. But something in front of them posed a bigger threat. An ear deafening explosion shook the ground beneath the two, fighting for their lifes and the distant light grew to blind them.
Toshi's P.O.V
The pain was immense. But then it was followed by the light feel of weightlessness. Cold air hit my skin. I was twirling around with nothing to stop me. It was nice... To feel weightless. But at some point I would land. I had to stop twirling. I had to focus. White was all around me. What was up and what was down? Sometimes I could see some grey. It had to be the ground. It was closer now. I stopped my twirling, or at least, I tried to.
Thunk
I landed, on my feet barely, and collapsed at the force. I didn't have enough strength to stop, and summersaulted backwards and skidded across the ice like a rock on water. I would rather be weightless, the pain of landing was sharp and continued before I slid to a stop. Pain shot through my shoulder and I cringed and growled as I rolled to my side clutching it. Something had popped, and I was pretty sure my shoulder was dislocated now.
Defeat overcame me, as a brisk wind of snow blasted around me. I had no time to think about what had happened. Get up I screamed at myself every nerve in my body screaming and protesting against the will of my mind. My coat was gone, having been blasted off of me at some point. It felt cold, the snow underneath.
'Get up!'
I rolled around and pulled my knees up to sit up. I was disorientated, and couldn't see anything in the apparent snow storm. I tried to get up but couldn't keep to my feet and pitched forward, landing on stomach. I wanted to cry. The pain in my body was so immense and I barely had any chakra left. 'You're pathetic. You can't die here!' I screamed at myself.
I got up again, gritting my teeth and focusing everything in my mind to stand straight and get a read on the situation. I was standing in straight ground with nothing around me except the blinding snow storm. Wind howled in my ears, cold and unforgiving sending cold chills all the way into my bones.
A small hope grew in me when I felt the faint chakra of Kakashi somewhere in the distance. One step forward. The pain shot through my body again and I cringed, pressing back the tears that threatened to show. Something hit my foot and I looked down at one of our backpacks. Knowing it was essential for our survival I picked it up with my good arm and slung its heavy weigh to my back and started a steady pace towards Kakashi.
As if things couldn't get any worse a deep vibration went up through my feet and all the way up to my head. The sound of thunder echoed below me, followed by an odd sound of snapping wires and snares. It was the ice under me that was cracking and the sheer sound gave me another adrenalin kick, which forced me into a run towards Kakashi whose chakra was dangerously low. I was still dizzy, but forced my legs to keep on going until I could make out a figure laying on the ground in the distance. The cracks in the ice hadn't opened much yet, but as Kakashi came into sight, I realized he was unconscious.
And he was sliding... Slowly bet steadily sliding into a hole in the ice.
"Kakashi!" I screamed, my lungs protesting, coursing me to cough.
My run, became a sprint of life and death, as everything in me ached to grab him before he disappeared into the cold waters. I threw the backpack off ignoring my aching body and felt everything in me cry as I saw his hand disappear as the last part of him into the water.
Without hesitation I was prepared to die for him in that moment. I leaped forward and dove into the water head first, my heart aching to save him at any cost. The silence beneath was ear splitting, the calm peace of the blue ice underneath so ironic in contrast to my bewildered soul. Air and cold threatened every part of my being as a shock of cold coursed through me. But I dove on, seeing him sink to the dark pit of the lake and swam forward desperately. Shimmering sounds, like how I would imagine stars sound like, echoed in the silence as I kept on going. So close. My hand was so close to reach his.
There I had it. I pulled him up with my good arm, the other desperately telling me that something was out of place and my lungs aching for air. I swam upwards and used my last strength to punch a new hole in the thick ice.
I pushed through the remaining slushly ice, and gasped for air with all of my heart as I reached the surface, pulling Kakashi up with me. I lunged myself up to the ice with a warriors cry, pulling Kakashi pathetically along with me, dragging his heavy and soaked body up, and away from the water. With nothing else in mind but his survival, I leapt to his side and smashed my elbow onto his chest to make him cough. After a second time he coughed, and I realized his wet mask was blocking out and incoming air, and I tore it off with no regards of the fact that I had never seen him without his mask...
Nothing mattered. Not even his bared face. At least he was alive now, and breathing. Soaking cold, I stumbled to me feet, white dots starting to form in my eyes as I did. But I pushed past it, and grabbed the backpack before I managed to sling his larger body over my shoulder, setting a path to the distant mountains ahead.
At every moment I was at the brink of collapsing and crying. Never in my life had I ever experienced natures force this roughly, and it took a whole other toll on me than a battle would. I cried out a few times, pathetically, I know, but I had to push myself somehow. The cliffside towered over me soon, and I walked along them until a hollow formed in the white snowstorm.
A feeling of relief washed over me and I picked up my pace slightly, as I made it to the cave like hollow carved into the wall of the icy cliff.
Once out of the wind, I put down Kakashi carefully and threw the backpack aside and collapsed beside him while panting hard.
'What am I supposed to do?' I felt utterly alone and lost.
I'd never been in this kind of situation before. I had only myself to rely on in a distant land I knew nothing of. I didn't know where I was, or what was wrong with Kakashi. My mind was a warren of twirling thoughts and my body was almost out of chakra and aching.
I felt my mouth tighten as I pressed back the tears while looking into the ceiling. I couldn't cry now. I just couldn't. I had to at least get Kakashi in shape. My body was trembling from the cold. My fingers moved slowly as I felt them obey the will of my mind.
I forced back the tears and sat up, and started to dig through the backpack. Sleeping bag, a ground sheet... The backpack I'd found was Kakashi's as I pulled an extra pair of underwear. First things first. I had to get him on the sheet.
Realization slowly dawned upon me. I would have to change all of Kakashi's clothes so he wouldn't die from the cold. Instead of thinking to much, I just did, and unpacked the sheet by his side before I started to remove his vest.
The shirt went over his head, his tank top too, revealing the toned chest slowly rising and sinking underneath. Great, now I just needed his pants and everything underneath. His pants went off, and after that his woolen pants. My hand grasped the edge of his underpants and drew it down, but not enough. I didn't know why I was being so adamant about avoiding the inevitable. 'Ugh, just get over yourself Toshi!' This constant battle raging on inside me was really becoming a hindrance. I just squashed whatever qualms I had and took another deep breath. 'It isn't like you haven't seen a penis before!' Turning my back to his head I pulled them down in the blink of an eye, trying very hard not to touch him in the process, and managed to not get a glimpse of it.
I grabbed the dry underpants from his feet, and with my back turned away from his upper parts, started to put them on. It was so damned ridiculous of me to be so hesitant in such a serious situation. I squinted my eyes shot as I pulled his underpants over his private parts, making sure not to touch anything I shouldn't. It was so ridiculous, and I swore to myself that I was never going to tell anyone about this. Considering I'd lounged myself into ice cold water with a dislocated arm without hesitation it was beyond embarrassing that I couldn't even change the underwear of an unconscious man without hesitating.
There was no visible wounds to Kakashi except for a few broken fingers, so I dragged the sleeping back up around him, and pulled up to the ground sheet. Not knowing what to do I just looked at his unconscious form as everything hit me like a bullet.
I placed my head in my hands and let out a wobbly sound from the depths of my soul. The carefully sewn patches of my mind slowly unravelled to show the ugly things underneath, showing the ugly things that made me the ugly, ridiculous, lost girl I had forgotten for so long.
I was no good. Not when he needed me the most, I had failed him, and now sat here fighting the tears in utter emptiness. I was no medical nin, and had only learned a few things to patch some one up. Our situations was in reverse, this time I had to save him.
I looked up from my hands and saw through teary eyes, his face that lay inanimate framed by the sleeping bag. He looked much like I had imagined, maybe a bit more handsome with a masculine straight nose and full lips. I whipped my eyes ferociously, deciding there would be better times to marvel at his face than now.
Forcing myself to be strong I turned to dig up our tent, knowing that my clothes would soon start to ice if I didn't move do something soon.
I engaged a zombie like mode, and started putting up the tent. After that, moving Kakashi inside. Then I made a sling for my arm, to ease the pain. Then I hung up his clothes inside the tent, and turned on our heater which ran on chakra. It was all done within few hours. At last I sat down outside the tent and looked into the easing snowstorm...
Twilight deepened. The cloudless sky turned a deep purple, then faded to black. The stars began to come out. A half moon rose. Before I knew of it, I'd been sitting in a trance like state, shivering from my icy clothes and watching puffs of air leave into the cold night. Lips having turned deep purple, and hands almost numb I walked inside the tent which was now warmer and found a flashlight to check up on Kakashi. His chakra was picking up, but was still in some kind of coma.
I was so exhausted that I could barely feel my body anymore and started to take off my ice layered clothes, having the decency to leave on my sports bra which was still just wet, along with my underpants. Not even giving it a second thought I crawled into Kakashi's sleeping back, not in any way able to not having any physical contact. He was so warm compared to me, that it almost felt like he was giving me a burn.
No inner battles was fought this time as the exhaustion and mental trauma was to much at this point. I lay up against his warm body, shivering from the chills of warm pleasure the warmth he radiated sent through me. Then I gave in...
.
I shifted. There was too much pain. But I couldn't shift. I was stuck. In the deep darkness of my slumber, I wasn't yet aware of the pain and my situation. I tried to turn around again, but found it to be cold. A groan escaped my lips. My feet didn't hurt. Listening to the cries of my body I searched for the pain. Definitely my ribs. Definitely my shoulders. My right thigh too. My head was a big fuzzy mess, my muscles was sore. Lifting my heavy eyes open slowly I saw nothing. Wait, had I opened my eyes? They felt open. A rush of panic sparked through me. Where exactly was I? Slowly but steadily yesterday's event started to surface in my mind and the first thing that hit me was: 'right I'm in a tent.'
A sickening shiver ran through me and my skin felt sticky and slimy against Kakashi's. God I was sweating, yet I still felt cold. My eyes searched around for any kind of light source, but there was none. Realizing I was still laying in the same position against Kakashi, I tried to scoot around to my back awkwardly, with a much sore body.
Nausea hit me instantly when I was in my back. 'You just had to sit in cold clothes for an hour or two and stare, didn't you?!' I scolded myself for being so thoughtless. It was obvious that I had a slight fever, and I couldn't afford that under these circumstances. Yesterday events was a twirling of memories, pushing forward and disappearing in a throbbing headache.
'What on earth happened while I was gone?' I thought to myself, receiving no answer from the silent creature within me.
Everything was like a black haze of instincts and survival from the moment I'd woken up, and my mind had firstly been clear when an explosion had sent the walls crumbling and bursting us through the air.
I couldn't muster the headache and the spinning memories. I couldn't deal with my situation and what had happened... Sleep from there on was stressful. I never reached the restoring REM sleep, and therefore always felt like I'd just been lying the thinking every time I woke up.
The sun had risen when I gave up on a good rest. Slowly and tiredly, I sat up breathing in the damp scent of used tent. With a whine I took a hand to my bad shoulder and pulled it slightly to feel how it was. A sting of pain surged through me and I hissed while looking at it. A giant blue mark was like painted across my shoulder and around to my back and blurred down my rips in spots.
I looked back at Kakashi, registering that he was still breathing and didn't seem to have a fever like me. My head was still hurting and the fever put my balance off and made my body heavy to gravity. I brushed a hand through my greasy hair and looked at the opening in the tent. It has been long since I've had a bath, but apparently that was a part of the job description. I stuck my tongue out to lick my dry lips and felt how dry my throat and mouth was. I needed water to help the fever, that was for sure. I looked back at Kakashi; he needed water too, even if he was unconscious.
Reluctantly I crawled out of the sleeping back, and put on my dried clothes slowly and not without wincing. I grabbed two cubs from the backpack. The cold air from outside hit me as soon as I zipped open the tent, and the chills that struck me was so uncomfortable that I had to stand and take a deep breath before venturing outside.
My heart sunk into my stomach when I saw the raging storm outside the cave, and I quickly hacked as much ice as I could into the cups before going into the tent again. Almost panting I bumped down on the floor and put the cubs in front of the heater, and collapsed with fever beside Kakashi. I looked at the beige colored fabric making the top of the tent, and felt my thoughts starting to fall into order.
What had happened to Isao? Was he dead? Not that I really cared much, my focus was mostly on me and Kakashi. People dying had never had a big impact on me... Well except for Kakasi dying. A shiver ran through me of what I'd put my body through yesterday. I couldn't remember a time when I'd ever exerted myself in such a degree for another person. I'd been acting entirely on instincts, and I could barely remember any clear moment of it.
Most importantly: how was I going to get out this situation?
Kakashi always had the answers. He would know what to do. But now his life was in my hands, and I was clueless...
Nausea rolled through me from the depths of my stomach and I took in a deep quivering breath. Just kill me, the thought surfaced like hidden sickness. I had never felt so bad physically and mentally at the same time.
'Get yourself together. You'll survive even if he doesn't.' Eien's voice roamed inside my head.
'I'm not sure how I can live with that.' I admitted. I felt the white lioness sigh tiredly.
'Sometimes I don't know if he's good or bad for you.' She paused for a moment moving restlessly in my mind-' either way you should act as if you only had yourself to count on. Cause he's out cold.'
She was right...
I looked at my hands. They were roughed up and dry, and also strangely slightly scorched. A memory flickered behind the lids of my eyes. A blue light. The sound of wild birds chirping. A fierce force of wind. Someone behind me. A desperate feeling; I had to protect him... No it wasn't the chirping of birds. It was Kakashi's chidori.
I felt the odd scaring of my palm. Right, the cave had been crumbling. Something had blasted rocks in our way. I'd been using a strong wind jutsu, and somehow my abilities to manipulate the nature chakra around me, had somehow sucked in Kakashi lighting chakra and mixed with the wind jutsu. Finally the wall behind us had given in, and we were blasted outside... The rest I remembered more clearly.
My lip quivered again. To think we both survived that. Sitting up an shrugging off the nausea, I picked up my cup with ice cold water and drank it hungrily. As I drank, looking at Kakashi the same time I slowly started to realize that he wasn't wearing any mask. I whipped my mouth and looked at him intensely, a sudden fluttering feel of butterflies in my stomach erupting.
There he lay, mouth slightly open and with the most serene look to his expression. He was so handsome... With cheekbones an a straight profound nose he looked almost like one of those models on the covers of magazines. His lips were full, although his upper lip was thinner than his lower and his jaw was profound. It was no wonder he was so popular around girls. If I wasn't so nauseated I would've blushed.
Why o' why did I have to fall in love with such a handsome man? I didn't stand a chance with him. Looking back into my cup, I fought the cloud of despair that drifted over me. I shook my head and put the cup aside before moving up behind Kakashi. His body was emitting heat through the fabric of the sleepingbag as I scooped myself up behind him to lift his upper body up. I had to make him sit up in order for him to swallow the water without choking.
It was odd to deal with Kakashi this way. He reminded me of a sleeping child, the way his body was limp as I held him up by his chest. I searched for his cup with my hand while holding his heavy weigh up. Lifting up his chin I pressed at each side of jaw to split his lips and open up to his throat. It was essential for his survival that I gave him water regularly. I managed to pour down the liquid without making him choke and put him down carefully, afraid to injure him more.
I scooted into the sleeping bag once again, giving in to the heavy weight of my body. The isolation and the tranquil silence was starting to make me insane, so I closed my eyes with a sigh, letting my thoughts leading me back to the warm summer days in Konoha. The light breeze in my hair, mid July. A hard honest day of training, Naurto's smile and blue eyes. Kakashi's curve by his eye when he smiled and read his book. Bright and airy woods where tall oaks spread dappled shadows across tinkling streams, birds that sang from hidden nests, and the air spicy with the scent of flowers. The dim warm light of the main hut, the air heavy with smoke, yet somehow still damp. Melted snow that leaked through the smoke hole in the roof. Laughter and warmth played across the back of my eyes. I couldn't remember the smell of delicious food Mamuto's wife cooked for us. I would never remember that again. I was going to die here.
A tear trickled down my cheek and I whipped it away ferociously. God you're such a mess!
The wolf totem I was given popped in to my mind. The whole experience seemed so unimportant at the moment. I should've enjoyed the stay in the village more. I shouldn't have worried so much about my crush on Kakashi, but just enjoyed the experience as it was. Maybe I should've kissed Hayate and let myself be swept away for a moment. It didn't matter now. I had wasted my life. I had wasted opportunities.
Without knowing I'd fallen asleep once again. I woke up from the shivers and spasms my fever coursed and tucked myself into the sleeping bag by Kakashi's shoulder. I couldn't remember the last time I'd had such a bad fever, and I was utter alone. This was ten times worse than my panic attack at the ship and this time Kakashi was asleep for good. I was sweating and my body felt like it was boiling up from the inside. Yet my skin felt freezing cold.
I pitched forward and out of the sleeping bag, when a wave of nausea hit me and barely managed to spill my guts outside the tent. My stomach cramped in spasms until I thought I was going to pass out of air and then stopped. Standing on my knees and one hand, nothing but sour bile lay on the white snow in front of me until another wave of cramps hit me.
I felt void and frustrated. The cramps stopped and I started to whimper again. I crawled back, all in shivers and grabbed our cups. I knew I had to make some water if my fever was this bad. But everything in me screamed to lie down. I took a moment to fight an inner battle before I crawled back outside to fetch some ice. My rough hands was suddenly weak and powerless against the ice and I felt like a homeless person desperately picking up the last crumbs of bread from the street.
All my struggles seemed like hours and another day went by in the name of suffering and illness. Morning turned to night and despite the heater the temperature fell drastically in our little tent. A hollow pit of acceptance, acceptance of the death was eating me up, replaced by the fear that once was there. At least I could still provide Kakashi with water. I shivered starring vaguely at the cups in front of me. He had a chance of surviving. He didn't have a stinging fever like I.
Eien's chakra was at its peak, filling me with a warm nerve wracking sensation of healing, but keeping me from sleep. She was helping me out the best she could, keeping her chakra on the verge of where the transforming took place.
On the third day my fever was dropping but I was still too weak to do anything active. Not much light came through the storm raging outside, but enough for me to register the sunrise. My lips and mouth were dry when I turned around from my sleep by Kakashi's shoulder.
'We can't die out here.' Eien's voice echoed in my head.
I sighed heavily and looked at the empty cup that had fallen over during the night.
'it's not like you have been much moral support.' I thought
'I've been doing nothing but focusing my chakra to you.' she snapped at me.
' I know. Thank you for that.'
'You should leave this place. Leave Kakashi behind and go for help in the village.'
'Are you crazy? I'll die in that storm, if not Kakashi could die. That is not an option. He'll wake up soon enough.'
'You don't know that! He might already be dead and you can't follow him to the grave!' She snarled at me and I sat up in a rush. I wasn't going to listen to her.
'As soon as my fever is gone and the storm is settling I'll pack our things and take him with me.'
'Not if I make you go.' Eien went silent and I was hit by an alert feeling.
At that point it felt like something was pressing down on me. Immediately I was forced into an extreme focus on my mind told hold Eien at bay.
'I told you to never do that again!'
I sat down to meditate and tried with all my heart to keep focused on myself, not allowing her to take over. She was just as weak as I was and I couldn't allow her to do whatever she wanted this experience had been indescribable. I didn't know anything of what had happened as she had taken over my body, except this time it had felt different. I'd have to ask her about that when I could muster it.
'Selfish girl! I'll save the both of us! Let me through!' she snarled at me.
'Leaving Kakashi behind! Who's the selfish one?!'
A deep roar echoed in my head, forcing away the reflex to cover my ears. Eien's frustration at our situation was starting to get to me, reaching inside to the empty void. It was an odd sensation when my muscles started to cramp up. But then she went silent, leaving me startled to the howling storm.
Kakashi's POV
His whole body was sore and aching. Stirring in his sleep Kakashi cracked one eye open, wondering where he was, his years of training kicking in, asking him all the obvious questions. Where was he? Was he safe? What was the situation? What had happened? He scarcely recalled drifting into consciousness a few times, a burning fever sending him right back to sleep. He moved a toe to see if it was working. Then his feet and hands. Good, everything seemed not broken. His vision was blurry and the colors made him squint his eye for a moment as they adjusted to the light. The fabric of the tent was briskly moving in the wind and he realized the sounds that had disturbed him came from the tent. He lifted his hand weakly up to his eyes and rubbed them before stretching his sore body. The fingers on his left hand hurt a lot and was bandaged.
He felt a chakra signature outside the tent and sat up in a rush when he realized he wasn't alone. Black spots formed in front his eyes and he swayed for a moment before collapsing back in the sleeping bag. How long have I been out? A dreadful chill settled in his stomach when the memories hit him like a bomb.
He'd been using his sharingan and his chidori too much and could barely remember flying through the air before everything had went black. He recognized Toshi's chakra signature, although this time it felt slightly different. Nausea hit him at the thought of pretending to be strong when in fact he wasn't. Obviously it was Toshi who'd been taking care of him, but was she Eien or Toshi?
He had a bad headache throbbing in the back of his head, yet forced himself to sit up, slowly and carefully. Looking around the tent, he found his clothes hanging in the back, and in momentarily weakness of the mind shot his hands down to feel if he was wearing underwear. Well, he was. His hand then shot to his face in sudden panic, feeling the mask gone. He suddenly wished that it was Eien outside. He'd taken so many precautions for Toshi not to see his face. It was down right ridiculous of him to think like that and he knew it. He moved his tired eyes to the opening of the tent as Toshi started to fumble with the zipper. Feeling slightly groggy and empty-headed he watched silently as she entered the tent without paying attention to him sitting there looking dumb-founded. She looked sick and broken.
It wasn't before she had zipped the opening close and turned around she saw him, and the realization was so evident in her face that he suddenly became oddly self-aware about not wearing a mask and sitting in nothing but underwear and a sleeping bag.
She had halted in whatever she was about to do, and stood there like she was suddenly frozen, only her eyes giving away her surprise. She had looked so different with Eien's personality and the ice blue eyes, he realized. He was glad to have her back, glad to not be so intimidated by every move she made. He wanted to say something but found himself lost for words. He was just as confused as she looked. A dumb snicker left his mouth when her eyes grew big and full of emotion, the surface of her forest green eyes starting to get teary. He was relieved to see she was still Toshi.
"You're awake." Her voice almost cracked in a tearful voice and he could tell she fought hard to control it.
"Yeah." He said sheepishly looking down at himself.
"I, uh." She could barely control her voice which had grown thick.
Something made him weak to her emotions and he felt somehow traumatized by not knowing where he was and what had happened. For the first time in a long time, he felt the sharp pinch of tears pricking and threatening to come out, pulling up hidden emotions from the depths of his heart. Eien had definetely toyed too much with him. He coughed, shocked by the sudden turmoil of a riot going in inside of him she stirred up.
Hesitantly she stepped forward almost in a daze, her eyes never leaving his. He'd never seen her eyes hold such emotions and before he knew of it, she almost attacked him in a bone-crushing warm hug.
Toshi's POV
Nothing could describe the relief I felt. Every rule was broken, and I knew it as soon as the tears started to form in my eyes. There was nothing to do but to hug him tightly.
"I can't believe you're finally awake!" I squeaked into his neck, shutting my eyes tightly shut to make the tears leave.
He chuckled confused and wrapped his arms slowly around me exhaling into my neck and returning the hug. Although I felt sick beyond comparison the gesture made butterflies in my stomach flutter. Sniffling in tears I couldn't help but chuckle in happiness, never wanting to let him go again. He released his grip and took me by my shoulders to move me away slightly, or so I thought.
A sharp pain shot through my shoulder, and I crippled over into his chest with a groan. In one shift movement he'd popped my shoulder into place. The pain was overshadowing every thought in my head, but quickly subsided after a few seconds.
"God that wasn't very nice." I groaned through gritted teeth, and looked up at Kakashi who was looking at me concerned, one hand still lingering comforting on my shoulder.
He chuckled lightly, his eyes showing emotions like never before. It almost made me catch my breath and I suddenly didn't know what to do with myself, straddling him between my legs.
"I'm sorry but I need to lie down again." He said.
He put his big warm hand to my chin whipping a stray tear away before he fell back in the position I'd seen him lay in for three days. It was odd to see him smirk, and not just any smirk. A crooked kind of lopsided cute smirk framed by gorgeous lips that made my body go soft.
"Kakashi you don't get how scared I've been!" I hopped off of him and sat down beside him, trying fight back the tears and gather my lost composure.
"We've been here for three days with no food or any signs of humanity. I didn't know how much you were hurt so I couldn't drag you along into the storm, so I've just been taking care of you here and I had a fever so I-" Kakashi cut me off quickly.
"Slow down Toshi, I can't follow."
Kakashi looked sick all of a sudden and I jerked aside when he rushed out of his covers and stumbled through the tent, almost falling through the opening.
"What's wrong?!" For a second I was worried I'd missed out on some danger, but quickly realized he had to take a piss. Well, that was no wonder.
He'd been laying down for three days, it was a wonder he could stand up so quickly. I took the moment to gather myself and wipe the revealing tears away. I almost laughed at myself. It was a whole new side of myself that came up. I liked him so much that the relief of his awakening had put me on a heavenly cloud of happiness.
"Sorry about that." He said hoarsely when he entered the tent, holding a hand to his head.
He had a strong scent of sweat and snow to him, as did I too, but the lively scent sent a shiver through my body. He sat down with a thud, his flat muscled stomach seeming to have lost some mass, as he slouched forward and climbed into the sleeping bag. I realized he'd caught me staring and cleared my throat, looking at him worried with no attempt to hide it.
"You've lost weight and you've been hurt pretty badly." I stated.
He lay down once again with sigh and didn't answer. I bit my lips and looked away when he closed his eyes.
"You too. Your shoulder?" he pointed weakly towards the before dislocated shoulder.
"It's been bugging me a lot. It's all purple and swollen, but I hope it will grow better now." I said.
I couldn't avert my eyes from him. It was surreal that he was finally awake.
"The storm has taken off. We might be able to find our way back while we still can." I hesitated and bit my lip. "How are you? How long do you need to rest?"
I knew I popped the question quite early, but I couldn't bear the thought to stay here one more day.
"I think I have a fever and my head hurts pretty badly." He sucked in a breath of air like it was struggle to talk and continued "I need a few hours at least."
"Right." I nodded and fidgeted with my fingers, not knowing what to say.
"Thank you for staying with me." he said, tilting his head in my direction.
I fought a blush, a completely inappropriate blush considering the situation and mentally smacked myself. I couldn't imagine my life without you I wanted to say.
"Of course. You would've done the same for me." I said, giving him a shy smile.
There was something unsettling about the look he gave me. It was one of those deep, thoughtful ones, like he was looking at someone that wasn't the Toshi he had met months ago.
"True." He said after a moment.
"Hey! Why did it take you so long to say that?" I asked jokingly.
He chuckled lightly but immediately groaned at the pain.
"You should lie still." I said, not even bothering to hide my concern.
At that moment I felt something in me stir. An instinct kicking in, but weakened by my physical state. Someone was approaching. Kakashi had felt it too and jerked his head up alarmed, a sweat starting to break out on his forehead.
"Be still." I hissed this time, naturally taking the initiative to go outside and check. Even though it had been only three days it was now second nature to take charge and protect, even though I didn't want to.
The sun that reflected off the white snow almost blinded me as it had done just before Kakashi awoke. Walking briskly as my legs could manage I walked to entrance of the cave. Patches of snow crunched beneath my feet as my boots broke the nights crust, and my breath steamed before me as a banner. I took a gloved hand to my forehead to shade my eyes and looked into the distance of the vast frozen lake.
Two small dots seemed to be moving in our direction, fast. A spark of adrenalin kicked in. Of all my years living alone, I had learned that you should never trust any strangers.
"Someones coming our way." I yelled back to Kakashi as quiet as I could manage.
I squinted my eyes, the brightness seeming to hurt them and waited for a bit until I could make out two dog sleighs.
"Two sleighs." I shouted back.
I heard scrambling inside the tent and looked back to see Kakashi's head emerge.
"What are you doing? Go back inside you idiot!" I scolded.
He looked sick for a moment, but then turned back inside. He doesn't have enough chakra to fight, I can feel and there was no mistaking that I wasn't exactly battle fit either. I hid my chakra well, but Kakashi wasn't doing such a good job. My shoulder was useless and so was my control over Eien.
"Shit." I muttered and ran forward to crouch behind a big pile of ice.
There was something familiar about the chakra, but only because every native in this land had a similar feel to their chakra.
"Heeeeeey!" someone behind a sleigh called and waved a thick gloved hand in the air.
I still couldn't make out who was approaching but surely an enemy wouldn't call like that. I stood up a bit awkwardly, thinking I was better at hiding than this.
"Talk to me Toshi." Kakashi called from the tent, seeming to scramble around.
"Um.." I craned my neck to see better but still couldn't make out the drivers. "I think they're friendly."
I waved back at the strangers awkwardly, starting to realize that they could be our tickets home to the village and out of the wilderness. A shred of hope started to grow in my stomach.
"Over here!" I called without thought and trashed through the thick snow eagerly.
One of them was a big round man, clad in fur and thick clothes while the other was a tad smaller and thinner. Realization hit me like a bomb when I saw it was Mamuro, the head of the village and a big warm man, and his eldest son Hayate who I had been spending a lot of time with in the village. The relief drained me completely and I feel to me knees with a smile. After having been so deep down mentally, basically ready to die, I suddenly felt alive again.
"Over here!"I yelled even louder and waved my arms frantically in the air. "Kakashi it's Mamuro and Hayate!"
A maniacal laughter escaped my mouth and I couldn't help but cheer in happiness.
Hayate almost jumped of his sleigh before it had stopped, his eyes big and full of joy. Mamuro had a more stern look, but with a happy glimpse in his eyes. Snow was stuck in his thick beard and he walked off the sleigh briskly.
"Toshi! We thought you were dead! Thank god you're alive." Hayate exclaimed striding over to me covered in thick clothes.
This time it was me who got attacked in a bone crushing hug when the young man embraced me warmly while laughing. I couldn't quite comprehend someone could be so glad to see me alive and his bluntness made me almost speechless. He pulled me out of the hug, still holding my shoulders tightly and looked deep into my eyes like he didn't know what to do with himself. His brown eyes shone at me and his brown hair was greasy from the travel. He had a healthy glow to him, his nose and cheeks red. I looked away, immediately saved by Kakashi who came stumbling out of the tent fully clothed. Mamuro was quickly by his side before I could react. I smoothed out of Hayate's grip, instantly concerned about Kakashi.
"Kakashi's been out for three days." I said to Mamuro.
"You both need care. We can take you home. It will only be a few hours with the dogs." Mamuro said.
It was odd seeing him so serious. I'd only seen his warm family side, and now I understood what a great leader he was to his village. Hayate was quickly by Kakashi's side to support him along with Mamuro. I admired that, as it was clear the he wanted to be by my side.
As they let Kakashi to one of the sleighs, I sat down in the snow, finally feeling the weigh of my body. The dogs barked loudly and the sun warmed my face even though the wind was still brisk. I watched almost in a daze as the lay Kakashi on the front of a sleigh and packed him into furs and leather.
"Are you alright?" Hayate stood by my side suddenly, offering me a hand.
I tried to brush my hair back but it was too greasy, and gave him a sad smile. The attention he was given was flattering but also made me slightly uncomfortable. It was the first time someone had liked me so quickly. He was so nonjudgmental, he only saw me for what he had seen here. Was that the new me he saw? I had never even given it a thought that the changes I made could make me new friends who actually cared about me. I took his hand and bit my lip when it started to quiver. His concern and comfort was too tempting. It was everything I wanted Kakashi to show me. But Kakashi was too well trained at hiding his feelings and not telling things from the depths of every emotion he felt, and that was the unspoiled beauty of Hayate.
"Hey don't cry, you're safe now." He gave me warm reassuring smile and put an arm around me.
He made me feel like a little girl and the brief safety I'd felt with the foster family. It was all I wanted in a man I realized, but it was a thing I'd forsaken when becoming a ninja and I knew it would be hard for me to ever reach that deep into Kakashi to make him want to make me feel that way.
"We'll take you home now."