Disclaimer: I do not own these characters or the universe S Meyer created. There's some strong language and subjects in this chapter...

AN: kinda rated M... but not really. EPOV EPOV EPOV EPOV EPOV

What Are You Waiting For?
Outtake

I, Edward Anthony Cullen, was clinically insane. Probably not, actually – at least legally insane. I could still somewhat function and do things like eat and bathe.

I didn't even realize it until the fourth or fifth time it happened. Now I saw her everywhere – the library, my chemistry class, even the guys' showers at the gym. It was that one that made me realize that I had a problem and also caused my sexuality to be questioned when I couldn't stop staring at a random naked
dude… It was only two weeks after it happened that I started hallucinating and now it had been six weeks that I hadn't seen my real Bella Swan.

…
...

"I can't believe it happened. I thought out of all of us they would have made it…"

"I know…" I nodded. Honestly I thought that Bella and I would make it, but I didn't want to say it. I was kinda pissed too that he didn't think we would.

"I mean they were engaged. What happened?" Emmett continued. I stared down at the last pieces of my cheeseburger, praying that Bella and Rose would come back from the bathroom.

"Don't really know. I guess the wedding stuff just stressed them out and they got tired of each other…"

Jasper had proposed to Alice four months ago and today Jasper moved out with his grandmother's ring in his pocket. He and Alice – neither of them knew what was happening but when they both told me they still loved the other. It was complicated – they both quoted.

"I haven't even thought about marriage. Well I mean I just think we should wait until we're both done with school. Rose knows I'm in for the long haul."

"I've thought about it… I was actually going to propose a few months ago," I admitted.

"What?"

"But then Jasper proposed and I didn't want to rain on their parade…"

"Damn…"

I narrowed my eyes at him because I could tell he didn't approve of the idea – he didn't think Bella and I would work.

"Babe, let's go. The movie starts in twenty minutes," Rose appeared behind him with her purse.

"Alright, see ya later man." I watched them leave the restaurant as Bella stood beside me, ready to go.

"Are you sure you don't want to go see the movie? Vampires and romance are right up your alley?" I teased her as she rolled her eyes at me.

"I'd rather watch a musical…" she grumbled.

"Hey just because-"

"I get you like the music and it's good, but I can't stand when they break out into song. It's ridiculous when the main guy is like dang it I forgot to go the store and then starts singing about how much he loves apples and not grapefruits," she finished her rant as we got the car.

I chose to stay silent, not questioning to what movie she was even talking about. Something was wrong because she was agitated and she was wringing her hands in her lap – her lip chewed up.

"Do I want to know what's bothering you?" I asked reluctantly. What has her anomaly heard this time?

"Something I overheard… I just… I think I need to say something about it," she fumbled.

"Yeah?"

"I… I heard you talking to Emmett…"

"Oh?" What had we been talking about? Baseball… Dad… Jasper and Alice… -Marriage. Shit. "Oh…"

"Just so you know…. If you had proposed, I would have said no."

"Yeah I think it would have been too soon," I agreed. But when I looked back at her she was looking down at her lap and my stomach dropped. "Right?"

"I don't…"

"You don't want to marry me."

"No, that's not it. I just don't want to get married in general."

"Figures," I sighed.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You're a commitment-phobe. That's why you're always running away from your problems and that's why you don't want to have kids. Shit, it made me so paranoid when we first moved in together."

"Paranoid?" she questioned.

"Yeah I was always waiting for the ball to drop – for you to leave and I checked your tampons like every month in the beginning."

"Edward, I promised I would never… Do you still feel that way?"

"No!" I was panicking because this wasn't supposed to be happening.

"Then why don't I believe you?"

"You don't trust me."

"I think that goes both ways," she scoffed.

We stayed silent for the rest of the ride home. In these situations, the best thing for me to do was clear my head and distract myself and not get too worked about it. We would have a calm discussion at home and talk about everything until we both kinda agreed on the matter.

Bella spoke again when we got inside of our tiny apartment. "I think we need some space."

"Of course you do. You don't have to run away because I want to marry you. I can probably get over that," I stammered as she pulled a bag out of the hallway closet.

"Trust is our issue! And marriage is just a messy government contract that binds people together."

"Noooo," I shook my head, calmly. "Marriage is about love and promising to love that person for eternity, and for some shit reason, you get tax benefits and other shit."

"Well I don't mind paying all of my taxes!"

"Of course you don't!" I turned around and walked out of the apartment. I hoped that fresh air would clear my head and Bella could use the time to rationally think and calm down…

Worst mistake of my life.

When I came back, she was gone.

...
...

Six weeks was like two months of Hell, and those two months seemed like decades. I'd lost weight and I think some of my hair was falling out. I didn't go out anymore unless it was to the grocery store or school. My grades were slipping despite the fact that I was studying all the time. I was starting to truly understand that concept of a downward spiral. Every which way you decide to turn, you end up falling down…

And Bella? I had no idea how she was other than alive and safe. She had online classes, so she didn't have to stay in one place. Right now she was in New York visiting both Jasper and Alice, who were dating again. Everyone had been keeping me up to date so I wouldn't go crazy worrying about her. That was an epic fail because I always worried, and it made me wonder if she was miserable as much as me…
or worse – happy. I thought about tracking her down to try to work things out, but I told her once that I wasn't going to keep chasing her and I was done. I wanted to be chased.

And shit… Tanya. Tanya was one of Bella's roommates freshman year with Rosalie and Kate. I didn't talk to her much then, but she was my lab partner this year. It felt like she was everywhere, always bumping into me. I saw her almost as much as I saw Fake Bella and I did the worst thing possible. I went on a date with her.

Jasper and Alice had encouraged it and I threw up after that phone call because if that's what they were telling me, I didn't want to think what Bella had been doing there. Worse than the date was that Tanya kissed me and when I kissed her back, I felt like shit. I never kissed another girl and Bella was
right – us kissing was not normal.

I didn't have that intense feeling with Tanya and at first I thought that was a good sign that Bella and I were meant to be together. But does intensity really mean anything besides amazing sex? I prayed it meant something. I told Tanya I couldn't see her again and apologized because I shouldn't have kissed her. That didn't really stop her from calling and asking if I had changed my mind… Every other damned day.

Today I had attempted to switch lab partners and all hell broke loose. I left and went back later to finish the lab up, making sure my phone was off. Thank heaven, she never found out where I lived. Bella hadn't wanted her to know… obviously for good reason. I even went to a different grocery store across town, but I ended up just getting one of those tubes of cookie dough. I didn't feel like eating real food and cookie dough had become my comfort food. I carried my books in my left arm and held my tube of chocolate chip cookie dough in my right for easy access as I walked home.

I had stood behind Fake Bella in line at the store and seen her sitting on top of a moving bus. Sometimes she'd appear when it really was someone else. Other times, she would appear out of thin air – those were my favorite because she looked more real. Like now she was standing outside the apartment, leaning against the wall and wearing one of my Penbrook sweatshirts.

And I was mad as hell at myself for imagining her. I'd been having a shit day and I didn't need to see Fake Bella. I needed … I needed to get over myself.

I tried ignoring Fake Bella as I walked up to the door, but as I turned the key, I kicked at her hoping her annoying apparition would disappear.

"Ow! Fuck Edward, I know you hate me, but oowww…" Fake Bella hopped on one leg before falling down to the floor. Fake Bella wasn't so fake.

"Bella?" I dropped my books, jumping back. "Shit I'm sorry." My chest was pounding. Was this really Bella or was I just cuckoo?

"Gees, are you wearing steel-toed boots?"

"No no, sneakers," I sputtered, kneeling down next to her. "I didn't mean to kick you."

"Right…" she pouted, rubbing her leg.

"I didn't know it was you. What are you even doing here anyway?"

"I… I wanted to talk to you. What do you mean you didn't know it was me?"

"I've gone crazy," I told her, moving to sit down. She was quiet, watching me, and I wondered if she was trying to read my mind. Or maybe she could – shit is that why she left?

"My dad told me about what you did…" she bit her lip.

"What did I do?" I blinked, my mind blank.

"You asked about finding my mother..."

"Oh... that was like three years ago," I remembered.

I had gone to Charlie and asked him if he knew where Renee was living. Honestly, he was a cop with the resources and if I had been in his situation, you can guarantee I would have used them. And he had. But I didn't need to talk to Renee to find the information I was looking for; Charlie asked me why I was looking for her, and I explained everything to him. Everything – worries, pregnancy scares, and stories - everything. He'd actually called up Renee a few years after he learned about Bella's anomaly, and she had no idea what he was talking about and her other kids were fine. No anomalies. I would have told Bella that our children wouldn't have had her curse and everything would have been fine, but the fact that Renee left and had a happy life with a whole other family… I just couldn't do that to Bella.

"Still, I … okay, before I apologize, I have to explain that… that before you came into my life, I'd never thought I could have a life. By now, I thought I'd still be in Forks living with my dad and doing odd jobs around town. I would only have visits from Rose and Jasper to look forward to and – and I thought I
would die a virgin," her eyes were wide as she explained. "I didn't think it was possible for someone to love me. When we had the fight, I saw the opportunity and thought that it – it would be good for you to find someone else before you found your own reason to leave me…"

"Bella! When will you get it through your thick head that I love you," I gritted my teeth. This shit was getting old.

"I know and I love you. That's why I thought I had to do it… I thought you deserved someone better."

"Why the-"

"But I talked to Esme and Carlisle-"

"When did you talk to my parents?"

"I was just staying with them, and they-"

"What! I thought you were in New York!"

"I was two weeks ago… I got everyone to tell you where I was the week before, just in case you followed me… But I knew you wouldn't…"

"Jesus, I almost did like a million times."

"I know…" she mumbled, looking sad. "But Carlisle put a lot of stuff into perspective for me. He kinda yelled at me and told me that I deserved you but he said he was unsure if you deserved me because no one needs all of this drama."

"He said that?" I was baffled.

"Those weren't his exact words. I learned a few swears…," her eyes furrowed as if she was puzzled. "I was going to come sooner but I got sick and-"

"Are you okay?" My stomach flipped. Bella never got sick, even if I had the flu or something. Or maybe it just seems like she never gets sick because my immune system sucks ass.

"Yeah, I just had to wait it out. Esme made me soup, and Carlisle looked me over. But I came here to beg you for forgiveness. I'm so sorry for causing all of this trouble. I promise it'll never happen again because I'm done pushing you away. I love you and I want you and I need you. I know I've promised before,
but we never spent more than five days apart… I know I need you now. I know it might take time, but do you think you could possibly forgive me?"

Could I forgive her? It might take me a while to get over it. Could I live without her? So far, I'd done a dandy job. Could I keep doing this shit? Not really, but I'd rather take all that shit for the good stuff because it was just so… goooood.

"I…" But she wasn't the only guilty one. I had shit too and I needed to tell her- now or never. "I went out on a date with Tanya…"

"I know… she called and asked me if I was okay with it…" she closed her eyes, resting her head against the wall.

"She kissed me," I shook my head, annoyed that she allowed it.

She nodded her head before speaking softly, "I know. She called Rose one night in tears because you wouldn't take her calls. Then Rose basically told her to leave you alone…"

"She didn't take the advice," I cringed. "… You were right, you know about the kissing…"

"What?" she opened her eyes as she lifted her head. It kinda looked like she had just woken up and I had asked her a simple question, confusing her. Her hair was up in a messy bun with her round eyes squinting at me.

Not too much had changed about her while she was gone. She hadn't lost weight or had terrible bags under her eyes like me. She looked like she might have gained weight because her boobs looked bigger. Maybe it was a new bra or maybe I just hadn't seen them in a long time… but my old friends definitely seemed bigger.

"What?" she repeated and I pretended that I had zoned out – not just staring at her breasts.

"Uh, do you - um I remember when we first started dating and you'd said that… - our kissing wasn't normal. It's not… just so you know… if you were wondering…"

"I remember the meadow," she smiled before biting her lip again. "So do you think you can do it? Forgive me?"

"I don't think I could not forgive you…"

"Is that a yes?" she squinted at me again, unsure.

"Yes, it's a yes," I leaned down to kiss her. I felt so alive when her lips moved against mine, I was overwhelmed. Kissing her was better than breathing.

"There's… also a few more things… I have to tell you," Bella breathed heavily, rubbing her leg.

"Shit, I'm so sorry about your leg," I pulled up her pant leg to see if it was bruised. But I stopped at my tattoo – well it wasn't my tattoo but a purple and gray sharpie sketch of my family crest on her ankle. "What…?"

"Oh yeah, Esme drew it on there for me. She was going to go with me to get it done bu-"

"You really mean it? Forever?"

"Yeah, but if I've got this tattoo, I've got to make it legit… I want to be stuck with you and love you forever and-"

"We don't have to get mar-"

"Stop interrupting me! I want to marry you for real. I want to be Mrs. Cullen and pay our taxes together and -"

I kissed her to stop her babbling. I was on the verge of tears and I didn't want her to see me cry. I was just so happy and relieved that she was here and I was holding her. When she started to pull away, I held her face so I could feel her for a moment longer.

"So when do you want to get your tattoo? Are you sure you want to get it on your ankle?" I asked her, changing the subject. I seriously was about to cry. "And no lie, it does hurt a lot at first."

"I don't know, maybe like nine months."

"That's random. Why wait so long?"

"It seems like the best time – nine months from now," she nodded, waiting…

"What?"

"I guess I could do it now, but I don't want to risk infection. Nine months though, it'll be worth the wait."

"But…" Then it clicked. Nine months equaled pregnancy. But that meant that Bella had to be… We were pregnant? A million questions popped into my head, and I gripped my hair confused. "Is that why you came back?"

"What? No," her face fell, looking like I had just slapped her. And I had. I hated myself for asking it, but I had to know. "I told you – Esme was helping me put my suitcase in the trunk and then I started throwing up… Carlisle confirmed it," she frowned.

"I'm sorry. I didn't-"

"No it's okay," she stopped me and pulled my hands away from my hair, brushing a few strands out of my face. "I love you so much. There's no way I'm leaving you ever again. Til' death do us part."

"We're having a baby?" I was officially crying as I pulled her onto my lap. Everything was crashing down on me, and I didn't mind the fall so much.

"Eight weeks along. The due date's Christmas day," she smiled. I hid my face in her shoulder, and she wrapped her arms around me, holding me together.

"I love you. Thank you," I breathed.

"Thank you?" she laughed. "I think I should be thanking you. If I remember correctly, you were the one who was a little too enthusiastic back in March."

"What? I don't believe you. I don't remember any of that."

"Well, I guess I could remind you – tell you what happened…"

"With every minute detail?" I asked, teasing – and desperately hoping. It had been a long time…

"Sure," she grinned.

"Maybe… maybe you could show me too?" I smiled at her, waiting for the cheeky expression to appear on her face. But I didn't have a chance to see it as she pounced on me. Her nose smashed into mine and she bit my lip as I fell backward and she straddled herself above my hips. "Who's the enthusiastic one now?" I panted when she pulled away.

"Are you freaking kidding me? Most normal women just get nauseas and their libido decrease during pregnancy, but for some…" she trailed off, letting her hips fall against mine and making my eyes roll into the back of my head. "I thought it was just the separation… I even had to drag Jaz to a sex shop."

"Bed – now," I stammered remembering we were still out in the hallway. I should have been weird-ed out that Jasper took her to an adult store, but it completely had the opposite effect.

Somehow I got to my feet with Bella still clinging onto me and got the door open. I shuffled my books inside and pressed Bella against the closed door to regain my balance. She ran her hands through my hair and I rested my head against her shoulder taking in the smell of Real Bella.

"Erghmm, I think we'll come back later," Dad's voice echoed.

"Dad?" I whipped my head to find my parents sitting on the couch. "Esme? Did you know they were here?" I asked Bella, not letting her go.

"They uh…"

"We had to make sure you heard her out, just in case…" Esme smiled. "Obviously you have."

"You have, right?" Dad asked, looking at Bella.

"Yes, he-"

"We're getting married and having a baby…" I bit my lip. I was trying to cut him off; I didn't like the tone he used, but now I was tearing up. "I'm going to be a dad, Dad."

Esme coughed a little as she held her hands to her mouth with watery eyes. "I think we should head out Carlisle… for lunch. We'll have dinner later?" she looked at us as she shouldered her purse.

"Better make it brunch tomorrow. We'll drive down in the morning," I grinned, carrying Bella passed them to the bedroom.

"Edward! You can't just kick your parents out to-" she stopped as I dropped her on the bed. I kissed down her neck working the button of her jeans.

"Fine," I pulled away quickly.

I nearly died when she moaned my name as I hurried out of the apartment. I caught up to Dad and Esme outside and gave them a quick celebratory goodbye and a promise for lunch the next day.

I guess it was a little crass to go have makeup sex with my girl- my fiancé and blowing off my parents instead of catching up with them at dinner.

But really? Are you kidding me? It had been forty-four days since Bella and I made love and I needed this.

"You're starting without me?" I laughed when I found Bella in the bedroom.

It felt so awkward and good to laugh, and we still needed to talk, but right now we both needed this.

"Shut up and take off your pants."

…

"Ow!" Bella squealed and thumped against my back. "Why did you pinch me!"

"I wanted to make sure I wasn't dreaming…" I grinned as her nails clawed against my skin, giving me chills.

"I love you," she scoffed before laughing softly. Normally she would have told me she hated me or that I was lame, but I think we were still too fragile to say anything else but 'I love you'.

"Love you," I whispered nuzzling against her chest. Only a thin burgundy sheet separated me from my old friends but we all needed the rest and I was too comfortable as Bella ran her other hand through my hair.

My hand rested on her lower stomach as I still tried to accept that there was new life in there. A little me and Bella. A little boy or girl… hopefully one of those.

"What are you thinking right now?"

"What are we going to name her-him? I mean he-she's gonna have to live the rest of his-her life with it. It has to be beautiful and bullying-free… it's such a big responsibility."

"That's what you're thinking about? That's your biggest worry? The name?" she asked, disbelievingly. "Because you know, there are other ways to screw up their life."

"It all starts with the name," I teased. "Oh! If we have a girl I have the perfect name!"

"What?"

"Anna."

"Anna Cullen?" she sounded hesitant.

"Anna Molly Cullen," I chuckled. "Get it? Anna Molly – anomaly?"

"That's not funny. We're not naming her that."

"Well you better start praying we have a boy…"

"I was thinking… if we did have a girl, we could do something like that though… take Carlisle and Charlie, you get Carly," she suggested. I glanced up at her beautiful face. Her eyes were wide and round, and her skin glowed with her natural blush.

"Or maybe something like Matilda…"

"Or Elizabeth." She'd turn the last one on me, letting my mother's name sink into my chest.

"Lot of good names there… either our son's getting a girl name or our daughter's gonna have one long name."

"Or we could just keep having kids until we use them all…" No sarcasm, no laughing, no scoffing. She was serious.

"Really?" I rolled over her, resting between her legs.

"Take off your pants," she smirked.

"I'm not wearing any," I shook my head, dumbly.

"Then what are you waiting for?"

AN: So I'm done with this... the very last part was actually an outtake of the outtake but I wanted it in there or you guys to read it... I really hoped you like it and I'm so grateful that a lot of you have stuck with me. I just read some older stuff of mine and I cringe so much just thinking about it now. I'm afraid to reread this one because I think back on it has decent enough...

Again I love you. This is the last outtake. : (

THANKS FOR READING!