It's No Sacrifice Chapter 5
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Rating: strong R
Summary: Started out post 6x20 but it went in a whole other direction. So now, Arizona's been kidnapped and Callie is dealing with the aftermath.
A/N: Hey guys. Here's the next chapter. All mistakes are mine!
A/N 2: This is a very angsty chapter and some people will probably not like it. I implied Arizona being violated (which I really didn't like doing ..I just wanted to see where that went...I don't go into detail, and won't but it might not be everyone's cup of tea)
A/N3: Still haven't been to Seattle so I'm making up all locations, roads, etc :P
All GA characters belong to Shonda Rhimes, no Infringement is intended.
Chapter 5
Cristina had been in surgery with Teddy for the better part of the day. As soon as they had gotten out of the OR they had heard the news of Arizonas' disappearance. Teddy had immediately gotten a hold of one of her oldest friends, sergeant Mckee to help out with the investigation. He was vacationing in Florida with his wife and three kids but as soon as he heard his friends' frantic voice telling him what was going on in Seattle he hopped on the first plane there.
Meanwhile, Cristina had spent the day looking for Callie. The resident was a person who normally didn't worry about other people, but considering the events that had transpired that day, she was borderline terrified for her friend.
She, above anyone else, knew what this could do to the orthopedic surgeon. After all, she had been there when Callie and Arizona had broken up almost a year ago. Callie had been a wreck. She tried to hide it from everyone else, going to work, immersing herself in surgery after surgery, shutting herself in one of the labs for endless hours at a time to work on her cartilage research, but Cristina was the one who had shared a paper thin wall with the raven haired woman. She had heard night after night the guttural sobs that had come out of the other room. The young resident had always had a "no sharing" policy but one night as Callie opened the door to the apartment, Cristina had been on the couch waiting for her with an unopened bottle of tequila and two shot glasses placed neatly on the table in front of her. As soon as Cristina looked up at the Latina, she knew she had made the right decision. Callie had looked so tired and lost, but for the briefest of seconds the faintest smile of gratitude had crossed her features. The attending left her purse and jacket on the table by the door and made her way to Cristina. As she sat down next to her, she sighed like she was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. Cristina had simply opened the bottle and poured them both a shot.
"To love" Callie said with a humorless laugh as she raised her shot of tequila and then downed the burning liquid. Cristina, not really knowing what to say, gave her a tight lipped smile and simply raised her own glass in salute and drank. Callie proceeded to pour her and her roommate another shot.
"Ok, we are not going to sit here and talk about Roller girl and the sad, sad feelings you have hidden deep inside you, got it?" The resident warned, as soon as the other woman finished pouring their drinks.
She saw Callie nod like she expected as much.
"The only thing I will say, before I shut the hell up and never speak of her again" The smaller woman continued quickly "…is that what she did for you… not everyone would have done that. You don't see it now, but what happened…it's a good thing, you wouldn't have been happy in the long run" Cristina looked intently at Callie trying to get her point across before she downed the next shot.
Callie let out another laugh, this one more joyless then the previous one as she tilted her head to drink from her glass. "ssss..lucky me" she choked out sarcastically, making a face as the liquid burned her throat.
"I told her I didn't want a baby" Callie almost whispered a few seconds later. Cristina simply looked at her with a disbelieving face. The ortho surgeon looked at her friend to see if she was even listening, then turned her attention back to the empty glass in her hand "…not if it meant giving her up anyway…She still broke up with me. I chose her, and she left…just like that" They both sat in silence for a few seconds. "I need her, Cristina" She said dejectedly as she poured herself another glass.
"That's crap" Cristina scoffed. Callie looked up, a mixture of hurt and anger washing over her features. "Not the needing her part…believe it or not, that I get. But you're…well…you! When have you ever not wanted a kid, or dreamed of a family? That's something that you can't hide from and no one can or will ever be able to stifle that feeling in you… You can be so dense sometimes you know that Callie? She could've spent the rest of her life with you, but since she can't give you the one thing you've always wanted… " Cristina stopped for a second needing to organize her thoughts, surprised at the emotion that was pouring out of her. "…She knows you, that's all, and she gave you the possibility of someday having a family of your own…You. Are. Lucky… Roller Girl loves you enough to actually give you what you want! Can you say that about any of the other train wrecks you called relationships?" Cristina answered almost angrily, not accustomed to getting so damn sentimental.
Callie stared into space before finally drinking her last shot of tequila. She let out a slow breath, trying to steady herself. The tequila was definitely making its way through her system.
"Don't you think I know all that Cristina? I know why she left me! And -god damn it-"
She said as tears started to form in her eyes "I thought I couldn't fall anymore in love with her, but….this, what she did…I just can't stop loving her, and I'm-I'm just so tired of being without her…and there's no way of getting through to her…Why is it so hard for everyone to believe that I might choose her over some abstract idea, that may or may not happen some day. I mean, I know I can't keep my god damn mouth shut, and I pushed and pestered her about having kids, but when it came down to it, I chose her…I'll always choose her. Why is that so impossible to get? I mean she can't even believe it's possible. Why should you, right?" She choked out as she intently looked at her friend.
"She is more then enough for me Cristina" She finished adamantly. "All this time I've been without her, it's just reaffirmed everything I already knew…but, I just had to go and-and-and freak out about the whole thing and now I don't know how to go back. I screwed it all up" She finished, crying now. She put her head on Cristina's shoulder and started weeping even harder. The younger woman awkwardly patted the Latina on the head as she downed yet another glass of tequila. "So much for not talking about sad, sad feelings". She muttered under her breath.
That day Cristina had realized how much Arizona had really meant to Callie. She had always thought they'd work things out. But then roller girl had started dating the tall redhead and Callie had seemingly moved on to Lily or whatever her name was. But Cristina wasn't fooled. After almost a year, even she had seen the fleeting glances and the loving looks they sent the others way…it was nauseating and a little sad if you asked her. So, with Arizona gone missing she knew her friend was most likely going through something heart wrenchingly awful, and she didn't quiet know what to expect from the older attending. And that frightened her a little…a lot actually. So she had gone looking anywhere she could think the other surgeon might have gone to but to no avail. It was now close to ten at night and as she made her way to the apartment door, she dialed Callies' number again, not surprised when it went straight to voicemail.
"Callie, I swear to god if you don't call me back the second you hear this…" Cristina opened the door to the apartment and saw the attending pacing back and forth in the living room talking on the phone "-oh…never mind…you're here" she finished dryly.
Cristina closed her cel and made her way to the living room curious at the conversation taking place.
"Ok ….she's not at Northwest, Harborview or Providence…well, those are the only hospitals near that area, so-…excuse me, I must have heard you wrong. Did-did you just tell me not to worry?" Callie laughed dryly, not at all amused with the officers' attitude on the other end of the line.
"How the hell am I supposed to not worry...they've found her car by the side of the road, there was blood on the steering wheel and you're telling me you can't find her!" Callie almost yelled in disbelief then quieted down to listen to what the officer had to say "ok, Fine! I'll stop by tomorrow….Yeah,…thanks" with a frustrated sigh she hung up the phone "…for nothing" the ortho surgeon muttered dejectedly as she stared at the phone in her hand.
"No news I take it". The younger woman pointed out the obvious. She was really worried for Arizona, but Callie was here. Callie she could do something about. The attending looked up as if just noticing Cristinas' presence. "No, none" She answered with a tired voice as she rubbed her forehead with her hand.
"Look, I have surgery in an hour, so I'll see you later" She said with an exasperated sigh as she grabbed her purse and made her way to the door. "Whoa, Wait, what?...You can't go to work now." Replied a very confused and worried Cristina….this was definitely not what she had expected. "Yes I can…I have to. If-if I don't then it'll just be me…alone, with my thoughts…So, I'm going into work and tomorrow Arizona will call and she'll come back and then that'll be the end of it, ok?" Callie finished, her eyes filled with worry and fear, pleading for her friend to agree with her.
She was on the verge of a nervous break down. She could feel herself getting wound up more and more with each passing minute, like the strings of a guitar, and it wouldn't take much more for those strings to snap and break, so she needed to convince herself that tomorrow everything would be as it was…and she needed Cristina to say so out loud. The resident gave in and nodded
"Yeah, you're probably right…tomorrow she'll call" The resident tried to sound as convincing as possible but the words sounded shallow even to her.
Arizona didn't call the next day, or the day after that, or the day after that. The police was now convinced that the blonde had been kidnapped. Patrick Seger had been the leading suspect since the start of the investigation but he too had vanished from the face of the earth and as the days turned into weeks the police hadn't come up with any substantial leads as to his whereabouts.
Upon hearing the news, Arizons' parents had immediately flown to Seattle and were staying at a near by hotel. They had decided to stay until their daughter was found. Daniel and Cynthia were the only people Callie had chosen to interact with, albeit minimally, the pain of seeing them was usually too much for the attending to handle. She was, for the most part, on autopilot. The Latina had broken things off with Linda. She couldn't even muster the strength to pretend to feel sad about ending the relationship, although once in a while she still sought her out, when the thought of spending a night alone was just too overwhelming for her. Linda knew she was being used, but she couldn't say no to the raven haired woman, she had fallen in love.
Callie didn't care, she would not allow herself to feel anything; if she did she was sure it would be the end of her. So, she went to work everyday keeping to herself. She had completely withdrawn herself from her friends except when a case obligated her to speak to them.
She would finish her shift and head out to Joe's and drink herself into a stupor or she would go to the police station, usually seeking out detective Martin, or sergeant Mckee to get any kind of information on the case they might have. She had steadily been loosing weight and she didn't even bother to try and sleep anymore. Needless to say the entire hospital was worried and her friends didn't know how to get through to her. Callie was now simply a shadow of her former self.
Now, almost six months after Arizonas' disappearance, Callie stood outside the hospital doors staring at the entrance, faced with another empty and meaningless day. She didn't think she could handle it…the thought of leaving Seattle crossed her mind for the millionth time since she had heard the horrible news, but she couldn't leave. If she left that meant that all hope of ever seeing Arizona again was lost and she needed to hold on to that hope in order to keep her sanity. She needed to be strong for Arizona. She would not leave until she knew for sure what had happened to the beautiful blonde.
Out of nowhere, a painful memory had forced its way into her minds eye.
She remembered standing in the very same spot, a little over a year and a half ago. She had been rifling through her cluttered purse looking for her pager which would not stop beeping and was quickly becoming exasperated with the noise. Just as she was about to give up and let the damn thing beep away a small, delicate hand appeared out of nowhere and made it's way into her purse, popping back up a few seconds later with the now silent pager. Callie turned around to see her girlfriend, a sweet smile and mocking look on her face. The smaller woman wordlessly handed the pager over to the attending and lightly kissed her on the cheek. Then she simply walked away, the sweet smile still plastered on her face.
Sadness washed over Callies' body at that simple memory. She couldn't believe how the smallest of things could all of a sudden render her useless. She cursed herself for not appreciating those moments more when she had the chance, and she quietly prayed to whoever was listening to give her one more chance at showing Arizona how much she meant to her.
Callie felt a hand on her shoulder; she turned around and saw Mark looking at her with a small smile on his face. She had missed him deeply, but she couldn't afford to talk to him, silence was her only weapon against the onslaught of emotions talking would surely bring about.
"Here, you look like you need it more than I do" He said as he handed her the coffee he was holding.
"Thank you" she quietly replied, tears already welling up in her eyes.
"Oh, Callie" he whispered as he saw the sadness wash over his friend. He took a step towards the Latina but she would have none of it "Please, don't" she whispered as she took a step back "I can't" she stated meekly, not able to look him in the eye. He nodded in understanding, and watched her turn and walk into the hospital with a worried look on his face. "I miss you" he quietly said to her retreating form.
Callie had been gratefully booked with back to back surgeries that day and by the end of her shift she was completely exhausted. 'Maybe today I'll finally get some sleep' she thought to herself as she made her way to the attendings' locker room to change.
"Callie?" Eva's voice stopped her dead in her tracks. She hadn't heard that voice in over three months. She turned around and saw the redhead quickly making her way towards her. She sighed heavily, not really in the mood for small talk, especially not with the woman currently standing in front of her giving her a warm smile.
"Hey, Eva, umm I was just on my way to surgery" The surgeon lied, wanting to keep the conversation as short as possible.
"I'm here to see Teddy, she invited me over to her place for some drinks" She said, still with that sickenly warm smile on her face.
"Oh, well….um…do you need anything? 'cause I'm actually in a hurry" Callie replied as she pointed to an OR and started walking.
"Well, actually, I just wanted to give you something" the taller woman quickly folllowed behind her as she shyly opened her purse and proceeded to take out a necklace, THE necklace. Callie froze, her breath catching in her throat at the mere sight of it.
"She never told me who had given it to her, she didn't have to…I always knew it was you…I-I thought you might want it back" She said as she took the other woman's hand and gently placed it in her palm.
"I'm sorry it took so long, I couldn't even look at it without breaking down but, well better late then never, right?" She looked hopefully at the raven haired woman.
"I-I….thank you" Callie whispered not sure if the other woman heard her, not really caring either. All she could do was stare at the small object resting in her hand, the cold chain burning her with the memories attached to it.
It was early morning; the alarm hadn't gone off yet. Callie had awoken a few minutes earlier to find Arizona splayed almost entirely on top of her, her head buried under her chin, and her left arm and leg wrapped possessively around her, clearly finding the Latinas body more comfortable then the king sized mattress they slept on. Callie couldn't help but smile at the blondes' tendency to gravitate towards her in her sleep. The peds surgeon looked so unguarded and peaceful; Callie couldn't stop marveling at the woman resting on top of her. She gently ran her hand over her back, making slow inconsequential patterns. After a few minutes she made her way up to her neck and started playing with the gold chain that rested there.
The blonde woman stirred in her sleep and pressed herself impossibly closer to the brunettes body, "sleeping" she mumbled almost incoherently before giving her girlfriend a soft kiss on the neck and then continued with her light snoring.
A soft knock on the door distracted the raven haired woman from her quiet contemplation. "mmm…no, five more minutes" wined the blonde as she tried to bury her face deeper into the younger woman's neck. Callie laughed as she carefully extricated herself from her lovers' body. Arizona unceremoniously turned on her back and continued to sleep. Smiling at her girlfriend, Callie went to the door and opened it. Lexie was on the other side, an uncomfortable expression on her face.
"Hey Callie, sorry if I woke you…umm…do you think I can use your shower real quick?"
"Sloan?" she asked a knowing smile on her face. The younger woman simply nodded, too tired to form another sentence. "It's all yours" she said as she opened the door to let the other woman in "Oh god, Thank you".
As soon as Lexie closed the door to the bathroom, Callie made her way back to her girlfriend, this time determined to wake her up. She kissed her lightly on the nose, taking a few moments to memorize everything about this moment and the sleeping figure underneath her. She then gave her a slow and loving kiss on the lips. When that didn't get the response she was looking for, she proceeded to leave a trail of feather light kisses on her lovers neck, making her way to her pulse point, which immediately started to quicken its pace. Arizona's breath had suddenly become uneven and as Callie looked up at her girlfriend she could see a hint of a smile on her face.
"You awake yet?" Callie asked as she lightly suckled the pale skin on her lovers' neck.
"mmm…no" Arizona playfully replied. "You're gonna have to do better then that" She continued, refusing to open her eyes.
Callies' smile widened at the implications. She slowly lifted the other woman's shirt and kissed her belly button, making slow wet circles with her tongue. She heard a sharp gasp and chuckled to herself. Her left hand had made its way to the blondes' inner thigh and lightly needed the exposed flesh there. The blondes' legs slightly parted of their own accord and as Callies hand moved higher, Arizona lightly moaned and grabbed Callie by the shirt, pulling her up so that their mouths could meet in a hungry kiss.
"Good Morning" Callie whispered when the need for air made them temporarily part. Arizona smiled seductively, her eyes a shade darker then their usual sky blue hue. "Good Morning" the smaller woman replied huskily as she quickly closed the gap between them again, instantly gaining entrance to the other woman's' mouth with her tongue. Arizona easily flipped the Latina over and was now lying completely on top of her. Their tender and light caressing quickly became more erratic and passionate, and as Arizona lightly pressed herself against Callies center, the raven haired woman groaned and hooked her thumbs under her girlfriends waste band and started pulling her shorts down.
"oh god!" Lexie yelped as she opened the bathroom door. Arizona quickly pushed herself off her girlfriend as Callie covered her with the blanket
"I knocked, I knocked this time…and I asked for permission" The young doctor stuttered, as she stumbled to the door one hand holding up the towel wrapped around her body while the other one covered her eyes.
"What is wrong with you two?" She asked in disbelief as she clumsily opened the door and made her way out. The two women sat in silence playfully staring at each other, before succumbing to a fit of laughter. After a few seconds, Arizona, now eerily silent, stared adoringly at the raven haired woman who was still laughing.
"I love you" She whispered softly, nodding her head slightly and never taking her eyes off of the beautiful woman in front of her. Callie just looked at her, feeling like she couldn't possibly be any happier or more in love. She moved closer to the blonde and gave her a slow, sensual kiss on the lips trying to convey everything she felt for this woman in that one gesture. "I love you too".
"Callie?, Callie. Is everything all right?" Eva questioned, interrupting the attendings' train of thought and snapping her back to the present. "Uh, yeah…sorry. Thank you" Callie repeated, really meaning it this time.
The tall redhead gave her another sweet smile and opened her mouth to say something when Callies' pager interrupted her.
Callie looked down, grateful that Mark had paged her in for an emergency. She turned to the other woman and just as she was about to excuse herself, Derek Shepherd burst through the main doors, April, Bailey, Avery and Lexie following close behind.
As soon as the Chief saw the two women in front of him, he stopped in his tracks, not really expecting to see either one of them so soon. He looked at Bailey "Go" he ordered without hesitation. Miranda nodded and gave the two women a sympathetic look before heading to the elevators.
"Dr. Torres, Ms. Allen. Can I have a word?" He gently asked as he stepped in between the two women, trying to usher them out of the hallway and into one of the nearby waiting rooms.
"Umm, Derek, can this wait? I just got a 911 from Sloan, he's waiting for me in the E.R." Callie said, as she turned and made her way to the doors that led to the Emergency wing.
"They found her" The Chief softly stated. Callie immediately stopped walking. She slowly turned around, not really believing what she had just heard, but hoping against hope that she hadn't misinterpreted.
"Oh my god…A-Arizona? Wh-where did they find her? Where is she? Is she alright?" Eva started bombarding Shepherd with questions as she put a hand on his forearm to get his attention and to steady herself.
"She was found near Cascade Mountains. It looks like she fell from some significant height. A group of hikers found her passed out on the Napeequa River shore. One of them immediately called for a chopper. They were heading to Presbyterian Hospital but it seems she briefly regained consciousness while she was being treated…It-it appears that she's been heavily drugged but she was able to tell the paramedics who she was and requested to be transferred here. She's on her way over as we speak". He finished, then remained quiet for a few seconds, giving both women time to absorb the news.
Callie had not moved a muscle since Derek started to speak; she hadn't even dared take a breath.
They had found Arizona and she was on her way here. As the words finally sunk in, her body immediately went into overdrive. She wordlessly turned around and headed straight for the elevators.
"Dr. Torres." Derek called out to her as he tried to catch up with the young attending "You can't go up there" He told her, feeling for the raven haired woman, but trying to convey as much authority as he could.
"It's Arizona…" She answered back almost offended that Derek would think she would sit idly by while the love her life lay unconscious on a stretcher. She repeatedly pressed the elevator button. Why was it taking so damn long?
"Screw this" she muttered with frustration, the anxiety in her body growing with each passing second. She headed for the emergency stairs but a hand on her shoulder stopped her…Derek.
"I'm sorry Callie. I can't let you go up there. We have Bailey up on the roof waiting for the chopper, Hunt and his team are waiting for her in the E.R, she will be in good hands….Look, I know she's been missing for 6 months and she's hurt…I understand you're worried about her, we all are…but, you won't be of any help to her right now". Derek finished looking down at her hands which were slightly shaking from the anxiety and adrenaline coursing through her body.
"I have to be with her…I need to be with her, ok?" She said as she backed up.
Just as she was about to open the doors to the emergency exit, she heard the elevator doors open. Avery was the first one out, pulling the stretcher behind him. Then her whole world came to a stand still as she saw the blondes' limp and motionless body . The first thing she noticed was the amount of blood covering the small woman's body. It was everywhere. Her once bouncy and curly hair was now matted in dry blood and hid most of her beautiful face from view. And her left arm was resting at an awkward angle.
"oh god…Ari!" she heard herself utter as she quickly ran to Arizona's side.
She gently took the smaller woman's right hand in her own as she walked along side the stretcher but that wasn't enough. She leaned in closer and carefully moved the damp and blood ridden hair away from her face, looking for any visible injuries.
"Ari, It's Callie...Everything's going to be fine now, ok?" She whispered softly, trying to assure Arizona as much as herself.
Tears started to well up in her eyes but she refused to give into them. She softly kissed the unconscious woman on the forehead and whispered soft nothings, trying to get those mesmerizing blue eyes of hers to open. She was faintly aware of Eva's frantic sobs in the background and of the hands that were maneuvering their way around her but she didn't care. She was with Arizona now and that's all that mattered.
"Dr. Torres, Dr. Torres…Callie!" Bailey called out to the younger attending.
Callie snapped her head up at the sound of her name. When she saw the look on Baileys face she knew she had to get it together if she wanted to stay with Arizona. She took a deep breath, and while she tenderly made soft circles on the blonde's temple with her thumb, she took one last look at her deathly pale face before carefully moving her hand to Arizona's broken arm, gently assessing the damage.
"Her left arm appears to be broken in three places" Her voice was hoarse but steady. She coughed needing to clear her throat as she tenderly ran her hands down Arizona´s right arm, then her clavicle. "There are no visible fractures on her right arm or clavicle".
"Callie, I don't think…Arizona is…you don't want to be here right now…trust me" Bailey tried to warn the ortho surgeon as they finally reached the E.R. where Hunt was waiting along side Cristina,Izzie and Meredith.
Callie looked at the shorter woman, confusion and worry crossing her features. But she was in surgeon mode now, and she took comfort in the fact that she could finally do something to help the beautiful woman lying helpless on the stretcher. So, Callie chose to ignore Bailey and while Hunt and his team began treating and diagnosing Arizona, Callie's skillful hands made their way down the petite woman's body.
"Dr. Torres please step away from the stretcher!" Baileys voice was more forceful now. She was dead serious.
Heedless, Callie continued her evaluation and as her hand grazed the blondes' stomach, her heart froze.
"No" Callie cried out.
"nononononono…" She muttered as she gently examined Arizona's abdomen, panic now taking over her.
She quickly pulled up the torn and tattered shirt, leaving Arizonas' stomach exposed. A small bump was clearly visible. She was pregnant, not more then 4 months so. Callie backed away completely horrified at the sight before her.
She was going to be sick. She felt two sets of arms envelope her and guide her to the nearest trash bin were she relieved her stomach of its contents. She then slid to the ground and felt herself being protectively held by a pair of strong arms.
Mark had slid with her to the floor; Callie was now in between his outstretched legs sobbing uncontrollably into his chest. Teddy was kneeling behind her, rubbing her back, trying to sooth the Latina. She was also crying.
Mark on the other hand was in complete shock. All he knew was that he was going to kill whoever did this to the small, kind, woman fighting for her life not 10 feet from him. Meanwhile all he could do was hold his friend as all the hurt, worry, and panic she had been holding in for the past 6 months came rushing out of her. Callie was falling apart in front of him and he was helpless to stop it.