Air for life

by thebeagle

A story that follows the ninja girl Toshi who's a rebelious orphan. When Kakashi and team 7 is assigned to capture her, they find out that she's quite a handfull, especially for Kakashi. Will she end up in prison? Full summary inside. KakashixOC

19. Air for life Chapter 19

Hello everyone!

Well, I wanted this chapter to be shorter than the last but...
I guess I can't help myself! This one os the longest so far, 30.000 words, omfg, no wonder you guys are growing impatient!

I've been reading all these amazing reviews you guys are giving me, and I am forever grateful for every single one! I received one mind-blowing review from Scarlette Winter, which humbled me a great deal. Having so many amazing people following and reading my story (And reviewing it every time a new chapter comes up) is invigorating! I love reading how you all 'feel' what the characters feel, that's what make a great story for me.

I check every single profile out of people who review, follow or favorite my story. It's fun to see which kind of people read my story. :D

To answer some of your questions.
- I will never NOT continue this story or forget it. I'm constantly working on chapters actually, there's just life and work in the way, therefore each chapter takes about 1-1,5 months to write. This story is my baby :D
- To Scarlette Winter (And others thinking the same) I see the resemblance to Kushina now you mention it. But when I started this story, I don't even think Kushina was invented yet, so I never had her in mind, although she's an awesome character! I woud like to answer some of Scarlette's other questions but they are kind of spoilers, sorry.

Also people didn't seem to want the "filler" so I just dropped it, heh.

Enjoy!

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"Yes lord hokage." Said the blonde girl, standing stoic and proud as she always did.

"This mission acquires stealth and cunning. We have a suspicion that someone in the village hidden in rain is providing Akatsuki shelter, if not food. We want you to investigate and gather intel on such rumors. Can you handle that?" He asked her.

Her green eyes showed no emotions whatsoever, and Hiruzen knew that it was to Danzo's liking. Said person was standing by his side along with the two elder counsellors.

"Of course." She said plainly her eyes shifting to the other three people in the room.

"Fine. I will expect you to be back in a two weeks time with a report... and be careful." He replied and gave her a curt nod.

She bowed, something she had started to do gradually after she had started to take on missions on her own. Toshi left quietly and Hiruzen felt like the air lifted a notch.

"She has become a valuable attribute to Konoha." Homura said, the elder grey haired man who bore glasses and a long white cloak.

"Your decision of bringing her to Konoha under Kakashi's care was definitely the right one." Koharu added, the elder woman with squinting wrinkled eyes.

"Her asset of skills is truly impressive and Kakashi has done a good job - as expected - to help her fit in here." Danzo commented.

"Yes yes. Truly. But I fear she is not suited for ANBU or Root. Her skills considered she would make an excellent black ops, but it is her mind that I fear is not ready. At least that is Kakashi's predicament." The old hokage said, chewing thoughtfully on his pipe.

It wasn't entirely true, but not entirely false either. Hiruzen felt it too: she was much intelligent, but she was raised to be suspicious, and was fairly new in Konoha. ANBU required loyal ninja's of great skill and intelligent, and he feared that she wasn't that loyal yet as she surely was reluctant to come here in the first place. She was still very suspicious of him - obeyed orders - but suspicious. As a ninja should be, he reminded himself.

"It would be unheard of to make someone who isn't a jounin - a black ops." Koharu said.

"And she's hasn't lived here for more than three months." Homura added.

"You saw for yourself that she takes orders without hesitation. She will become invaluable with her mind probing abilities and her excellent stealth. I read the reports Kakashi Hatake has written about her, and the newer ones written by Shin. The rate of mission success will be increased if we ad her to our teams." Danzo defended.

It had been partially Hiruzen's idea, partially Danzo's idea. But unlike Hiruzen, Danzo did not take Kakashi's words seriously and was insistent to the end that she should be requited, even if it meant breaking the norms of requirements to become and ANBU, while Root was more prone to select members solely for abilities. The hokage sighed.

"But it could be a downfall for her. Surely she has proven she can take on missions on ANBU level, but I'm telling you that this could effect her personally. She has just started a normal life." He retaliated.

"Everyone joining Root or ANBU gets affected personally. It's a part of the job to cope with that as well, and she seems to be able to cope with that." Danzo said.

Hiruzen scowled in thought, the two elders silent as well. Maybe if he got to know her more personally, she would at least choose to join ANBU and not Root. Thereby he could spare her of some of Danzo's more ethical wrong missions which surely could lead to another ninja going rogue.

"It will not suit some people in the village to let someone who hasn't even become genin - rise to the rank of ANBU." Hiruzen said thoughtfully, he was getting a lot of pressure from Danzo to say yes to this.

"But it is true that she has invaluable skills and it would be good for the village to have someone like her in the shadows, rather than out in the open with other jounins. She'll be known quicker around the other villages of she's taking on mask-less missions."

"So you're saying that we should give her the option?" Homura asked.

"Yes, but she should be free to choose which division she would like to join." The hokage said.

"Then it is decided." Danzo said in his naturally deep voice.

Hiruzen fought the urge to glare at Danzo. If he knew the man right, he would do almost anything to requite such skills as hers into Root. He hoped that Kakashi had at least made an influence on her.

.

What was the big deal about 'taking things to next level' anyway? Anko was constantly pestering me with questions about Kenshin and if we had done anything new. I wasn't sure I wanted to do anything else, I mean, I enjoyed being around him, but I didn't long for him like I did for Kakashi.

I watched him talk from across the table as I was slouched back in the chair, stomach full with food. Kenshin never talked much about his work, but he liked to talk about places he had been. He was very private, indeed, and it rendered me unable to feel that close a bond with him.

"Anyways, how was your last mission?" He asked, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Oh, it was alright. I simply had to gather information from a certain man." I said curtly.

My two previous missions had been leading up to my new one - the infiltration of the hidden rain. All that dirty work for the survival of one city. I wasn't sure if I liked it, but then again, my existence here depended on the thriving of the village... and the thriving of Kakashi.

"I'm going again tomorrow, this one will be a bit longer - about two weeks." I added.

Kenshin's eyes shone with worry for a second before they turned neutral again.

"You'll do good, as always." He said giving me half a smile.

It was dark outside and we were sitting in my apartment. What I found slightly annoying about Kenshin was that even though he had lived in Konoha his whole life, he was still oblivious to the things going on around the shadows of the city. How could I, someone who had just moved here, know more about the city and its darker sides - than a jounin, born and raised here. I couldn't discuss my thought with him like I could with Kakashi.

"Thanks. I have a lot to plan." I admitted, looking out my window.

"You must have." He paused, seeming to choose his words or change them "I'll miss you."

It was a simple sentence but it took a me bit off guard and made my slightly sick to my stomach. I would miss him too, but not as much as other people around me.

"I'll miss you too." The words seemed to cling to my throat as I said it.

His eyes sparkled emotionally for a moment - it meant a lot to him that I said that.

"Are you going to miss Gai?... And Kakashi too?" He asked, although I wasn't sure he wanted the answer.

"Of course. Though I suppose I don't see Kakashi that often anyways." I answered, squinting my eyes suspiciously at him. He always had a way to ask me about Kakashi.

"It must be a great honor to be friends with such an excellent ninja as he. I hear they're having trouble finding a replacement for him in the ANBU, still."

I shrugged. Everyone who had grown up with Kakashi around knew that he was quite anti social and prone to keep his emotions inside - he wasn't quite the best example of a great friend, but yes, he was an excellent ninja.

"I suppose. But I don't feel honored, I mean, he's just a man with issues like everyone else." I responded.

"But learning from him is a great honor." Kenshin said. "Although I don't think it was all fun that he was nicknamed friend-killer in his younger days."

I almost choked. "What?! That's not very nice!" I almost spat, sitting straight up in the chair again.

I didn't know if Kenshin said that to scare or push me away from Kakashi, but it surely didn't please me.

"He would never kill a friend!" I retaliated. "At least not on purpose." I added, fighting a shiver at the thought of Rin and Obito and the feelings Kakashi had to deal with through his life.

"It doesn't change the fact that he did it." Kenshin said with a shrug.

"Yeah well, you don't know anything about it!" I said wryly and leaned forward in warning.

"Oh' and I suppose you do?!" Kenshin responded.

"As a matter of fact I do!" I said.

Kenshin snorted "He doesn't share such things with anyone."

"And what do you know about that? You don't know him! You don't even hang around his friends!" I was really starting to get worked up over this.

"No but all and sundry knows he doesn't talk about such things." The black haired ninja said.

"Then I suppose I'm the only one he talks with about his past." I said cheekily raising my eyebrow in challenge. "Stop being so jealous Kenshin, it's obvious you are. You shouldn't compare yourself with one of Konoha's best ninja!"

His neck grew red in embarrassment and anger. The tall man locked his jaw stubbornly and stood up abruptly.

"I'm not jealous!" He said through gritted teeth.

"Then stop talking trash about him at every opportunity! I don't want to hear it! He's my friend, no matter how many dark things he has done in his life! I've done bad things too, and I'm probably going to do worse." I retaliated, getting up, matching Kenshin's anger of energy.

Kenshin scowled at me, too stubborn to admit defeat. His fists were clenched, his knuckles turning white.

He sighed heatedly "How can a single person as you be so frustrating?!"

His brown eyes stared at me as he went around the table.

"Maybe because you're so ignorant sometimes!" I said, not allowing myself to back down at his sudden close proximity.

The tall man towered over me silently, his eyes squinting in frustration. His warm breath came down in me in warm puffs. I could see his collarbone and the faint depression between his shoulder muscle and bicep. Suddenly he took my face in his hands, his fingers strong against my skin and kissed me. I was startled at first, but the frustration I felt towards him quickly faded into something else. The kiss was hard at first, but turned experimenting as we both found a rhythm. Kissing didn't come natural to me, I had only done it one time before. He grabbed my side hungrily and pulled me closer, turning me toward the table and pushing me against the edge. I slung my arm around his neck, brushing my fingers through his black hair. Desire rolled off of him in waves and it made me gasp. I realized he desired me much more than I desired him.

His tongue licked against my lips and I allowed him to part them. Something fell of the table. I tried to imagine him being Kakashi. It sent a rush of desire through me, but it didn't last long, cause I knew he wasn't and I was betraying my own feelings at the moment.

There was something nice about feeling his tongue lightly against mine. Despite the fact that he wasn't Kakashi, there was something comforting about the feel of being desired by a beautiful man. The more I felt his lips, the more I wanted, the more I was addicted. I allowed myself to sweep a hand under his shirt to feel the hard muscles of his stomach. He gasped at the sensation and stopped the kiss. I opened my eyes and met his dark ones and could tell he was roused to an extent he hadn't felt before.

I shouldn't take things so far, it isn't him I want, I told myself while the other half of me told me that gaining some experience and understand of this physical act would make me a better kunoichi. I pushed him away. Stopping this now would be the best thing to do. I couldn't offer him a relationship when I didn't want one with him and he was starting to have feelings for me.

"Kenshin..."

I could barely look him in the eye and when he saw my expression he took a step away.

"I really like you, but I'm not in love with you. We can't continue this." Why was it so hard to say words like that?

He took a hand to my cheek "I know love is something that grows slowly."

That wasn't it. I was never going to have feelings for him like that. But I had no idea how to express it.

"Maybe." I responded and hopped down from the table.

Kenshin tended to have a very innocent look in his eyes, sometimes so much that I wondered how much experience he actually had at love.

"I think you should leave now. I want to be alone." I said.

"... Alright." He paused and took my hand, searching for my eyes.

"You know I'll always be there for you, right?"

The words stung like a bee, and I mostly wanted him to let go of my hand. It was nice thing to say, but the thought that I couldn't return his feelings made me nauseous.

"Thank you." I responded, not knowing what else to say.

He left a short moment after that, leaving me to my own thoughts. I hadn't made it clear enough that I didn't want him, although kissing had actually been great. It was my feelings that wasn't in this.

.

Sometimes I felt worn out, a headache weighing down in my eyes when I entered someone's mind too much. I was draped in a simple black cloak, simple clothes seeming to be the easiest way to go by unnoticed. A man lay in the mud, his eyes expressionless and mouth agape. The rain tapped against his cold skin. I had annihilated him... of course, after having retrieved information on how to adjust ones chakra signature to the wall of rain that kept surveillance of every unknown presence entering the city.

With no sympathy I gazed at him. I felt nothing. Amegakure, the village hidden by rain lay before me, its tall industrial towers sprouting up like metal grass from a wasteland landscape.

It was fairly easy to enter the city, if you had gathered enough intel that is. Otherwise the village's defenses was abnormally high. To be admitted to the village, visitors, even those coming for Chunin Exams held in Amegakure, had to go through a number of security checks and would be under constant surveillance during their stay. Metallic skyscrapers with rowed ducts connecting them, stretched tall into the ever raining sky. Cables surrounded them and down in the streets, lights from banners and commercials reflected off of the wet pavements. Amegakure was crawling with assassins, the city's missing none existing ethics and laws allowing all kinds of bad intentioned persons to seek refuge and illegal jobs.

Gloomy people watched from allies, their eyes watchful and suspicious. It wasn't a nice city for sure. I tucked the hood of my cloak tighter, blending into the crowd by looking down, minding my own business. Two weeks maximum, I reminded myself and wondered how I would've turned out if I had grown up here. The alleys was shrouded in mist and mystery. I avoided them as best I could and stayed on the river road that wound along through the heart of the city. I could feel eyes on me, peeping down from balconies and windows, watching me from darkened doorways.

I settled in a less than nice hotel and spend days observing and gathering information, posing as yet another assassin. It wasn't until five days after I managed to overhear two elder ninja's talking about a certain bar, known for its crowd of strong assassins.

'The Winking Salamander' it was called and its facade was a dark green, with a prosperous wooden sign hanging above. Even hores seemed to avoid this particular bar. When I stepped inside, hooded and clad in dark clothes I could see why the Winking Salamander was making good money and was the preferred place of assassins. Although the place was small, it was spacious, with booths hidden by walls and only a few tables out in the open. It was perfect for a suspicious and alert mind.

What am I getting myself into? There was a strange presence of chakra oozing out from one of the booths, it was pleasant but sent me on edge. A few eyes looked up from slouched bodies, watching the newcomer with wary expressions. I kept me gaze straight ahead, and walked to the bar where a grizzled man with a belly like a keg of ale stood, cleaning a glass with a striped cloth. I pulled my hood down, expecting everyone to stare, but no such thing happened. Even the bartender didn't as much as spare me glance.

"Can I help you miss?" He asked finally looking at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Just a cup sake, sake of the house." I said, hoping I didn't seem too much like a newcomer.

I didn't know what I hoped to expect by coming here, but enmity lay in the air like a dark fog. It was risky business to ask questions, even if the words were disguised as something else. The bartender handed me a tiny bottle and a cup, and leaned closer.

"I hope you know what bar you sit in." He muttered and leaned away, holding my gaze in a serious manner.

"I know." I said keeping my voice and expression carefully neutral.

He nodded and left me alone. I leaned my elbows on the counter and poured myself some sake, glancing subtly to either of my sides. A man, heavily in need for some sleep sat on my left, six chairs away. On my right was some peanuts in a bowl and a resent used pen. I crossed my legs and tasted the sake, sweet and strong against my tongue. I'd just have to wait until someone approached me. The good thing about being a woman in this line of work, was that men was easier to lure into conversation.

In a ten minutes time, two men in their late thirties approached me. One of them was the talker - as I liked to call them - and the other was back-up. The talker had no chin to speak of, a flaw that prominence of the apple in his throat made even more absurd.

"Did you miss the brothel? No one here is going to buy you." He leered at me and sat down in the chair to my right.

He was deliberately trying to insult me, I could tell, and was probably one of the regulars here.

"I am looking for a job. But not the kind you are thinking of." I answered neutrally, refusing to move my head in his direction. His friend closed in on me from behind.

"You're into some kinky shit then?" He asked, putting his elbow on the counter, discreetly confining the conversation to a smaller space.

"If we're looking for the same job, I don't want to know what you're looking for." I purposely let my eyebrows furrow and snorted.

"What was that? Are you trying to be smart or something?" The edge in his tone suddenly become much more unpleasant.

I wasn't looking for trouble, at least I didn't want to start any in here. Not to mention I knew nothing of this man. Then again, if he had even a fair share of knowledge in the assassin world, he would know that there was a few bounties on me too.

"Smarter than you apparently." I shot back and sipped of my sake. The man sitting a six chairs away turned and walked to sit at a set of tables.

"If you touch me you'll regret it." I warned as his fist clenched.

His friend standing behind me, purposely putting me on edge opened his arms to reach out for me. Their intent washed out of them like open books. In the the blink of an eye I grabbed the pencil and plunged it into the chinless man's hand before he could even lift it, and then I turned to plant a foot solidly in his friends stomach. He flew backwards knocking down a set of tables.

The talker wailed in pain as I got up, grabbed his friend by the collar and strode forward, throwing him out into the rainy streets.

"My hand you bitch!" The gnarled man shouted, spit lingering maniacally on his lips.

Everyone else minded their own business, even the odd presence of chakra coming from one of the booths. I walked to the man's side and tore out the pencil coolly. He screamed again holding up his hand like it was the end of the world.

"Leave before I put this into your eye." I said calmly.

There was a look of pure hatred in his eyes before he stumbled away and into the streets. I had just made an enemy. It was like being old Toshi again. With a sigh I took a swig of sake. This was a lot easier in that time I didn't own a shred of sympathy towards anything living. The bartender gave me strange look, passively cleaning another glass. I had just earned my right to be here.

Half an our goes by slowly as I listened to the small talk around the room. I tensed when the odd chakra stirred and moved. I listened to heavy steps of a man walking across the bar towards me and hoped with all my being that he wasn't going to approach me. Not as much as daring to glance when he sat down beside me, his whole presence seeming to suffocate me. His chakra was so immense that I had to draw in all of mine to get rid of the feeling of being suppressed.

"The bill." He said in a calm voice.

This time I dared to glance at him, coiled as tight as a spring to the point where I forgot to breathe. He was the tallest man I had ever seen in my life, but it wasn't that which caught my attention. He had grey bluish skin, deep-set eyes with a dark edge like a shark and what could only seem like three lines of gills on his cheeks. He was Kisame Hisagi, and I had never quite felt a chakra like his except for my own.

I looked away, subtly remembering to breathe again. He was in the hit-book amongst many other, but had surely been the one to stand out the most. And he was a member of akatsuki. This time I looked at his huge sword fastened to his back and swore that it stirred ever so slightly. I fought to remain neutral when I felt its being, its mind alive.

"What're you looking at pip squeak?"

My eyes snapped to the tall shark man when I heard his voice. I couldn't seem tense, even though I felt like my insides were writhing within me. He could kill me. He could potentially kill me if he wanted to.

"Your sword." I answered and looked away, hoping that he wasn't one to kill people for fun.

He was silent for a few seconds, and I realized that people often must've lied about that, his whole appearance considered.

"Sure whatever. Don't do it again. I might not be as merciful as you were to that other guy." He responded.

I really shouldn't say anything, I should walk away and leave, telling the hokage that there were akatsuki in Amegakure.

"Your sword is alive." I heard myself say. I wanted to slap my forehead with the heel of my hand. My brain had a death-wish.

This time his eyebrows creased and he turned slightly in his seat to face me more.

"Who are you?" He asked, his eyes glaring daggers at me. Everything about him was oppressing. His tall frame, his broad shoulders and chest, his immense chakra... I scanned his face. His features was quite masculine and handsome despite his shark-like features. Even his teeth were sharp like that of a shark. His sword stirred before I could answer.

He looked perplexed, unfocused for a moment before his expression was confused and then he looked at me again, this time curiosity having replaced the enmity. Then he smirked:

"Interesting... " He tilted his head and I fought the urge to lean away from the predatory look.

"What is?" I asked, now holding his gaze in challenge.

"My sword seems to like you. I bet that's how you knew it was alive." He answered.

"At first I couldn't feel it because of your chakra." I said, hoping to keep the conversation with an s-class criminal on a somewhat casual level.

"Feel you say? How so?" He said, and leaned his elbow agains the counter in a casual manner.

Good, at least now there was a better chance he wasn't going to kill me. I laughed at that thought in my head. The questions though, was if I should reveal anything about myself to the enemy? The hit-book didn't say much about him, and despite the animosity about him, there was something pleasant about his chakra too.

"I can just feel chakra's and minds." I said with a shrug. "An yours remind me of my own." I added.

"Hmm." He seemed to think on that one as the bartender handed him the bill. Could I... flirt with him? The thought sent a strange surge of emotion through me. It would be the boldest thing I had ever done in my life, except for sitting on Kakashi's lap... Kisame was probably not going fall for obvious flirtation as his appearance probably scared the girls away more than attracted them.

"I felt your chakra as soon as I stepped inside. It was pleasant." I said, letting a smile tug on the corner of my lips.

He looked slightly confused "Pleasant?" He scanned the bill "That was not the word I expected you to use."

"I don't know how else to describe it." I responded, feeling myself ease a bit more.

"If our chakra's is alike we should take a spar someday, kunoichi." He said, and looked at me without moving his head.

A spar with an s-class criminal? He had no suspicion of me had he? I knew I shouldn't have felt flattered at the request, maybe it was just a trap made to kill me, but getting to spend time with someone as notorious as Kisame Hisagi was simply an offer I couldn't refuse no matter the consequences.

"A spar? With you? That sounds dangerous." I said, making my voice sound astonished.

He laughed abruptly and short as he put a few coins on the counter.

"I'm so bored here. A good spar would do good." He said and smirked, revealing his sharp teeth.

It could be a spar to the death, I reminded myself. I had to put up some rules.

"I'm not sure. I only came here to find jobs." I said, trying to sound unsure.

"While you wait, you can make room for a little spar. I promise I'll be nice. I'm not much for hitting girls anyways." He said.

Well that, I knew, was a lie but at least he was making an effort to convince me.

"Why would the infamous Kisame Hisagi want to spar with a nobody like me?" I asked, taking another swig of sake.

"So you know my name." He chuckled pleasantly, "You said it yourself. Our chakra is alike."

Yes it was, but his was much more immense than mine. I stood no chance against him. I felt my heart leap again at that thought, but remained calm.

"Alright, I suppose I can't say no." I responded, taking a hand to my neck.

I was afraid maybe this was a bit too easy. But he wasn't as scary as I had imagined him to be.

"Kisame."

I hadn't noticed the presence of another person sneaking up on us, and I looked behind me and saw yet another akatsuki. I involuntary clenched my hand around the cup, fighting to remain poised. Itachi Uchiha was standing right in front of me, his eyes devoid of any emotions whatsoever. He looked so much like Sasuke, the resemblance was simply striking. And to think he was only one year younger than me.

I wanted to ask him about the truth of the massacre right away, but almost bit my tongue in restraint. His eyes rested briefly at mine for a second, and Eien's pull to the sharingan made me forget to breathe. There was so much sadness in his onyx eyes. If anyone can read you its him, I reminded myself and looked away.

"Yeah. I'm coming." Kisame said casually. "You coming back tomorrow kunoichi?" he added.

"I am." I said, refusing to look in Itachi's direction.

"Good." He said, lifting his tall frame from the chair.

I listened to the footsteps across the wooden floor as they walked out of the bar and as soon as the door closed, I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding. This mission had become more dangerous than it should have been.

At night I lay in my bed unable to sleep. Paranoia had crept its way to me and was now keeping me awake in the hollow silence of the rain tapping on the small round windows of my room. On the door and windows I had put up explosion tags, just in case anybody tried to sneak in while I was asleep. I knew I was kept under surveillance, but that didn't necessarily mean anybody would help me if I should get attacked.

I turned in my bed, and pulled the sheets up further. What I wouldn't do for Kakashi to be here with me, I thought. What if Kisame and the Uchiha wanted to kill me or plotted to abduct me? I curled up, looking at the grey wall. I didn't even dare to turn off the lights. I should just leave the city while I was still just a lowly assassin.

The next day I visited the the Winking Salamander, sleep deprived and tired. Kisame never came, but I did get a few small talks with some bounty hunters. The day after I came back to see if Kisame was there. It like like stepping into the lions den. I was so ever afraid of the fact that Itachi might've figured me out, and the two was just planning how to kill me. It could be why Kisame never showed up.

The city reeked of a certain loneliness. It was accidental - almost - when I ran into Kisame again. I felt his chakra signature from one street away, and followed the nice feel of it into Amegakures market district. This was a black market to avoid. All kind of illegal things were sold here behind closed doors and gloomy windows. No stalls, no lanterns and sunny music played in these streets. I wasn't quite sure what to expect by following the huge shark man, hell, I wasn't even sure if I dared to approach him. I tugged my cloak tight when he entered the street and used my training to blend with the none existing crowd. The rain tapped on my rain cloak as I followed him a few shops before he stopped en glanced over his shoulder.

"Why're you following me pip squeak." Came his deep voice.

I was mildly surprised that he discovered me and stopped a good distance away from him.

"You said you wanted a spar." I just blurted it out there, biting the inside of my lip.

The tall man just looked me, rain pouring down into his hair and down his cheeks.

"Come." He simply said and mentioned for me to follow him.

What am I getting myself into?! There was an odd mix of feelings rioting around in me. One was definitely fear and the other was an odd attraction to his presence. He lead me into a nameless sketchy shop. The smell of fungus and rot made me clap my hand over my nose while we walked along narrow rows of shelves stacked with preserved things I had no intention of knowing what was.

"I'm just going to break you into pieces if we spar, little girl." He said, reaching up to one of the top shelves for some kind of powder.

For a moment I marveled at how tall he was and how much authority he exuded. What was he? Maybe fifty years old, though he surely didn't look like it. No wonder I became so attitude-less around him.

"I was beginning to think that myself." I muttered as he placed the powder back on the shelf. He smirked lightly.

"Then what do you want? Spit it out." He demanded, seeming more intend on finding whatever he needed rather than the conversation we were having.

Yes, what did I want?

"I don't know... I've just-" I paused and thought my sentence through, wondering if I should just be honest-"I have never met anyone like you."

This seemed to pause Kisame for a moment before he continued roaming through glasses of powder.

"If you're a scientist, you can forget it. You can't have any samples." He scowled down at me "And I'll kill you if you try to sneak a scrape of skin without my permission."

I held up my hands to pacify the shark ninja "No no, I'm not a scientist. I'm just a regular assassin."

"Hey old man what does this do?" Kisame called.

Talking about being distracted, this guy had his mind all over the place. I peeped at the label.

"Green Viper poison in powdered form." I raised an eyebrow impressed. That was almost impossible to come by in Konoha. Kisame looked at me fully now.

"A few grains will slow a pounding heart and stop a hand from shaking, and make a man feel calm and strong. A pinch will grant a night of deep dreamless sleep. Three pinches will produce a sleep that does not end." I said, shrinking under his stern gaze.

"The taste is very sweet so it is best used in cakes." I added with a sheepish smile.

Kisame raised a none existing eyebrow and snorted amused.

"You know your stuff pip squeak." He bemused and mentioned for the shop owner, a small gnarled man with a hunched back, to fetch him a dose of the Green Viper poison.

"So are you just going to hang around me like a fly all day?" He asked after a few minutes of more 'shopping'.

"Pretty much." I said with a shrug. If I could be so closely around him, why not take the opportunity, for the sake of gathering some intel, or so I told myself.

"What if I don't want you to?" The tall man responded.

"You can just say so." I retaliated.

He smirked for himself and didn't answer after that. I took that as a green light. It worked well to be a girl apparently. I didn't pose a very big threat to him.

Kisame took me around the city, showing me shops and stores I would never have found on my own. I bought a few rare herbs and some old sketchy looking scrolls with paintings of the land before the war - from an antique store.

That same night, after having departed politely from the shark man, I lay in my bed feeling a bit more safe in the city, knowing that I'd made acquaintances with an s-class criminal. If I ever got kicked out of Konoha, maybe I could seek out Kisame to help me settle in to the 'other side' of system - meaning of course - the criminal side.

I left the city the day after, thinking that I'd spend too much time there already. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to tell anyone about Kisame and the Uchiha. It was like my own little joker card, kept close to my body for whenever I was going to need it again.

.

After my mission in Amegakure almost a whole week went by without no new jobs. Both Kakashi and Gai was busy training their teams for the upcoming chuunin exams. Although I wanted to hang out with Anko, she was always hard to find, apparently, busy at most times. Instead I helped out in the shop. Running a business demanded you to get up early and work until approximately five o'clock.

I found it relaxing to run errands around the market district. In the morning, stewards, cooks, smallwives and sailors were all haggling loudly with one another as they inspected the morning catch. Around afternoon the streets were buzzing. I made friends around the different shops; porters and singers, rope makers and smiths, taverners, brewers and bakers and beggars.

Everyday I would come home with new japes, new riddles, or tricks of this trade or the other. Every so often I would learn a new secret. A smith showed me a trick one afternoon at the market, while he was waiting for his wife. He taught me how to hide a knife up my sleeve and slip it out when I had need of it, and to skive a purse so smooth and quick the coins would all be spent before their owner missed them.

One afternoon when I was done running an errand for Hana, I spotted the hokage in front of the herb shop. Hands filled with shopping bags my steps faltered as I looked while he spoke to Hana and old man Shoji.

Beside the hokage stood a brown haired kid with a long scarf. At first I didn't recognize him but when I came closer I remembered the kid from the forest when I had been battling the two twin cats.

"There she is." Hana said and they all turned their head as I came up to them.

The goggle wearing kid pouted at me and tugged closer to the hokage. A flash of defiance rose in me. If I was in trouble because I had scared some kid in the forest the hokage seriously had a personal grudge against me.

"Hello Toshi." He greeted.

"Hello lord hokage." I answered and glanced at the kid.

"I believe you know my grandson, Konohamaru." He gestured to the kid who looked at me defiantly.

Of course it was his grandson. It wasn't just an ordinary kid. I almost rolled my eyes at the unlucky timing.

"You're that kid from training grounds." I said. There was no point in denying it.

"Yes." The hokage nudged the kid forward and he responded by simply crossing his arms and look at this toes.

"What was it you wanted to say Konohamaru?" The hokage asked the kid.

He swayed a bit back and forth in a childish manner before his eyes met mine.

"Thank you for protecting me in the forest." He muttered.

I raised an eyebrow in disbelief. Was he thanking me? And here I thought I was going to get the scold of my life.

"Um..." I blinked at the kid when he looked away again, eyebrows furrowed irritated.

"I want to thank you too. My grandson can be quite reckless sometimes." The hokage smiled mildly at me and he suddenly looked like a grandpa, not a military leader.

"No problem. It was just a training exercise." I said and handed Hana one of the bags.

The elder couple had been listening silently, seeming confused and honored at the same time for the hokage's visit. Azami who had been hiding behind Hana's skirts came skipping down to Konohamaru and peeped at his face.

"Why're you wearing goggles?" She asked, looking at him intensely in a way only children could.

Konohamaru looked taken aback by the lack of personal space. There seemed to be maybe one year in age difference between them, Azami being the younger one.

"Because it's cool of course. Naruto used to wear them too." The kid huffed at the small girl.

"It looks weird." She exclaimed.

"Does not."

"Does too."

"Na-ah!"

"Hey, wanna play ninja?" The girl asked suddenly. She did display a lack of attention at times.

The brown haired boy blinked at he girl, the gap in his front teeth showing.

"Alright, but I'll be the hokage." He pushed his chest forward.

"We can make a hat from cardboard. We have lots in the back." Azami clapped her hands excited.

The two ran off without further notice. The boy didn't even ask his grandfather's permission. Sometimes I envied how easily kids could make friends, even after Azami had just offended Konohamaru's goggles.

"Will you walk with me, Toshi?" The hokage asked.

Looks were passed between the old couple and me. None of us quite understood the situation, though there was no denying the hokage.

"Of course." I answered and handed Shoji the rest of the groceries.

"It's a nice home." The hokage commented when he started out of the market district.

"Yeah. I've grown very fond of the small family." I responded, feeling akward walking beside Hiruzen while everyone could see.

He seemed casual enough though. Like he was just taking another walk in the park. I couldn't help but being suspicious though.

"So it seems. I'm glad you like it here in Konoha." He said.

"Yeah... Although I think it must be nicer to live as civilian rather than being a ninja in this city." I dared to say.

The hokage smirked "That's true. A ninja's duty is to protect the people of this city and the city's interests. That is the burden we must bear."

"I figured that much." I answered. Sometimes I wasn't sure if he knew how much I involved myself in politics and secrets of the hidden villages.

"I must say that you've exceeded my expectations." He stopped and looked at me. "You're far more powerful and intelligent than I had expected. I would never have thought that I would need your strength as often as I do. Actually I thought I would not have much to do with you."

I wasn't quite sure what to answer to that. The truth had been obvious from the start.

"No one thought they would have much to do with me. Not even Kakashi." I answered, biting down the bitterness of that thought.

"Yes. But it seems you've become valuable both to Konoha but also to the people around you. Kakashi who you mentioned, has been your greatest supporter, and his opinion weighs much."

"I know. I'm very grateful to him." What does the man want?

"I've come to let you know that me and the counsel has decided to give you the opportunity to join ANBU or Root. Due to some disagreement between us - due to the fact that you're yet not ranked as jounin - we have decided to let you choose which division you want to join, yourself."

That took me aback. Only the strongest ninja of Konoha joined ANBU or Root and it took a certain mind-set to actually be considered. It was all I wanted, to join the secrets of Konoha and be in the midsts of all the secrecy. Yet I was in doubt.

"I-i." Well, I didn't quite know what to answer.

"I just wanted to give you a heads up before you're called to an official meeting." Hiruzen said, his hands politely behind his back.

I straightened up and looked to the horizon of hills and mountains. My expression grew emotionless as I thought about the proposal. The hokage squinted his eyes at me, for a brief moment seeming to give me a certain kind of respect, like I had just grown an eerie look.

"I will not join Root, that I can tell you for sure." I told him carefully.

The small man looked up at me, his lips pressed together. He had grown stiff, as if I was a potential threat. It made me feel strong that he considered me so dangerous.

"Why not?" He asked.

Either he was asking because he wanted a valid reasons, or he just wanted to know how much I knew about the organization.

"Because... They want you to act a certain way. They want you to think a certain way. So I am easier to understand and thereby pose no threat to them." I responded, clenching my jaw. I had to choose my words carefully around the hokage.

He chuckled "Just as I suspected. And do you think ANBU is any different?"

Yup, he was definitely testing me to see how much I knew.

"In a way, yes. They take their orders directly from you and is not trained the same way. ANBU have more independent mind-sets." I answered methodically.

"Well, then I already know what you will choose." The old man hummed satisfied, the wrinkles around his eyes deepening as he smiled.

An instinct put me on edge in that moment. This was a hard decision to make and even in that moment I wasn't even sure if I wanted to join the ANBU. If I refused, would I continue to do missions without the Konoha headband? I feared the answer all of a sudden.

.

Kakashi could already feel the dampness in the air when he walked up to the hot-spring. He had been reading come come paradise when a small young cat - looking like a cross between a domestic cat and a ocelot - had scratched his window to get in. It was sleek with smooth short fur and small rounded ears. Its colors resembled much that of a leopard although the spots blended together on the back to form an irregular pattern. Black stripes lined both sides of the face and on the back of the ears was a single white spot. Its front paws was relatively large just like its eyes. At first he was confused at seeing such an exotic cat in the middle of Konoha before he remembered Toshi's pact with the nin-cats. The teenage cat had asked him to follow it, saying that Toshi wanted to see him.

The fact that the cat - named Sokar apparently - had showed him all the way to the hot-springs was rather perplexing to him. If there was anything Toshi had been trying to avoid in all the time he had known her, it was the hot-springs.

"Hey." He said when she came into view.

Something about her appearance made her look troubled, but it changed in an instant when she saw him.

"Hey! Good you could come." She said and pushed away from the wooden wall.

"Well, for you to send one of your little minions I figured it was kind of important." He responded with a shrug.

The young cat glared at him and huffed "I'm not a minion! And you smell of dog."

"Sokar." Toshi bristled like a mother scolding her child. The cat lowered its head and patted to her side.

"I'm trying to train Sokar up, I promised Nephthys I would do that. So why not make him seek for you?"

"That sounds like a good idea. I think you could learn a few things from him too." He gestured to the cat and it just responded by bristling at him.

"Yeah sure." She said with a raised eyebrow "Anyways, Sokar you can do whatever you want to now. I need to talk with Kakashi."

"Yeah finally!" The cat ran off in an instant, disappearing into the bushes soundlessly.

"He has potential." She observed casually.

"He's very young." The copy ninja commented.

"I know. But Nephthys wanted the kid to have some experience with humans. She hopes he'll become as great an assassin as she and Heket."

"Well then you have a pretty important job to do."

She shrugged "Anyways I need your opinion on something. Do you wanna go to the hot-spring? I think we could both benefit for some relaxing." She said.

"The hot-springs? I thought you would only go there if I commanded you to." He commented.

"Well I do enjoy it. And you kind of made it our thing back then." She smiled jokingly and added "Back in the days."

"I suppose I did." I said sheepishly, remembering those two times he had forced her into the hot-springs and how uncomfortable she was around him.

The first time it had been his plan to make her as vulnerable as he could, and also get her to clean up - and he remembered how vulnerable she had actually been there beside him, covering her chest while her whole body language alarmed everyone to stay away. Closed off, malnourished and full of hate, yes, that was how she was back then. She had been a bitter tormented soul, a sinner who mocked both gods and men. She served but found no pride in service. She fought but took no joy in victory. She did not love, nor was she loved herself. It was hate that had driven her.

"Don't tell me you're getting cold feet because I was the one inviting you this time." She said cheekily.

"No" He lied "I was just wondering what could be so important, that you would like to talk about it in there."

"Well, the subject do kind of need some privacy." She responded.

He walked with her towards the house, thinking to himself that, or rather hoping, that she was capable of love and everything she did wasn't just an act. Those doubts he had about her was more a fear than an actual suspicion. Now he was going in there with a confident version of Toshi. One who dated guys and had an open body language.

"As long as you're not planing to ask me to be your boyfriend or anything." He retaliated, sending her a cheeky glimpse.

The temperamental blond clenched her fist offended "Of course I'm not! Jeez you're such a pervert."

Kakashi chuckled, but the chuckle didn't quite match his actual emotions. For some reason it kind of offended him too that her answer was 'of course not' like it was the most ridiculous thing he could suggest. Not that he wanted to be her boyfriend, but... Well he wasn't the baddest choice she could make. Okay, maybe he wasn't exactly boyfriend material considering how hard it was for him to talk about his feelings and all that stuff, but she wasn't exactly girlfriend material either, although she was rather good at getting under his skin. Better than any woman he had ever known actually, with the exception of Rin.

In some strange way we compliment each other, the thought popped into his mind while he was taking his shoes off inside the mens changing room, and it took him aback that he had just admitted to himself that they would make good couple. Normally in Kakashi's head things didn't go much further than imagining what his targeted woman would feel like to kiss or how to get laid. He looked at his bare feet feeling his insides coiled up.

Again?! Last time he felt like that was when she was changing in his room and he'd had those inappropriate thoughts, but now this?! He got up and entered the changing area, grabbing a towel on the way as he started pulling off his shirt. The damp smell of lavender and delicate oils lingered in the air, but didn't relax him as much as they used to.

He felt nervous when he walked out of the changing rooms. He couldn't see much through the heavy steam and his feet made splashing sounds as he walked across the stone floor to the edge of the pool. Subtly he peeped around the area to see if Toshi was anywhere in sight. He sighed, feeling like a deflated balloon but hurried into the water when someone came walking behind him.

"Dammit." He muttered, feeling the sting of the hot water from waist down.

Why was he so skittish? It wasn't like him. He was a professional ninja, ex ANBU captain. How could some meeting in the hot springs with a girl he already knew put him on edge like that? Was his senses picking up on something suspicious his mind hadn't yet figured out?

He spotted Toshi in the corner under the pine bonzai tree she used to sit under, back in the days. Starting towards her, he slipped through the water tense. When she came into view through the damp air she flashed him a smile, her eyes darting briefly up and down his body. He felt like he was on display for her amusement and gulped, while keeping a relaxed facade.

"It's been a long time I've been here." He mused and sat down beside her.

She sighed relaxed "I know. It feels good though."

She leaned her head back, baring her throat to him. He reminded himself to look straight ahead instead, at least he should man up a bit. It used to be him who made her uncomfortable. They shared a moment in silence while Kakashi adjusted to the heat of the water and felt his body relax. He'd been so occupied with training the kids for the chuunin exams, that he barely had any time to read his books.

"Anyways." The blond said, rousing him out his thoughts. He looked at her, casually, and raised an eyebrow.

"I was wondering when you were going to tell me what is on your mind." He commented and flicked a finger in the water, spraying her just enough for the water to hit her face.

"Yeah yeah sorry. I just didn't know how to tell you." She admitted, drying the droplets off of her cheek. "It's just that-" She peeped around the pool "I've been offered a position in either Root or ANBU."

Kakashi fought the instinct to jerk at the news. So, his and Gai's suspicions had been right from the start. This was absurd. It wasn't good news at all! He had even advised the hokage against it. She wasn't even jounin for crying out loud. He looked straight at her while she was avoiding his gaze. This could potentially ruin her. She was nervous at his silence, he could tell.

"If I'm going to join anything it's ANBU. I won't go anywhere near Root." She added.

Well that was a slight relief. He pinched the bridge of his nose, allowing her to see his frustrations.

"Why would you want to join the ANBU anyway?" He asked after a moment.

She chewed on that one "Well... I'll be a part of the secrecy going on on this village, and I'll finally wear the Konoha headband."

"Toshi..." He had so much to say that he didn't even know where to start.

"I thought you wanted to focus on making friends and relations." He said.

Her eyes grew a tad more cold "Well I want to do both. I feel most alive when I go on dangerous missions. Besides I already know how to make friends." There was a note of defiance in her voice.

He couldn't blame her that; he was sounding like a father or a teacher, when he in fact they were friends.

"Toshi, I dont know what exactly you're seeking, but joining the ANBU will take its toll on you. It's dark work, and you'll be acquired to annihilate many people without question."

Kakashi was and exceptional ANBU and stood in high regard to the hokage. He'd given everything away to be ANBU, made it his life's work to hone his body and mind to be most beneficial to the village. Now he was older and over those days, but ANBU was still a big part of him, deeply rooted into his core until it became a part of his personality. Now he didn't know how to deal with the sudden emotions that erupted in him by the thought of Toshi being one.

"You'll take on ethically and morally wrong missions, be at disposal to the hokage 24/7. Take it from someone who has been ANBU for many years, even been a captain. I'm not sure if it will be any good for you. You'll have to cast your emotions aside and deal with them when your missions is done." He said, growing more and more frustrated when she still refused to look at him.

"Toshi, when I took you on, I had just passed team seven as well. Every other year I had been failing academy students, and for the first time I had taken on three genins. It was also the first time I realized I needed to start up something new and create a new bond rather than dwelling in the past. When you came into the picture I was not in the least ready for you, in fact, as much as I wanted to believe in you too, I just couldn't. I was very focused on my students. Which I still am. But ever since that day, when I passed the three I've been slowly changing and moving forward. I'm afraid the same will happen to you."

Toshi had helped him move on too, he realized. He wanted to let her in, he wanted to be close to her. He looked away into the misty air, taking in a deep breath of lavender and almond oils.

"There has been a lot of darkness in my heart, but it's slowly lifting with each passing day I let all of you into my life. I wish I had realized all of this sooner in my life. That's why I will advise against it."

"But... You always seemed to sure. I always thought your life was perfect when I first got to know you." She said, now looking at him timidly. It occurred to him she still felt vulnerable being almost naked in his presence. She was just good at hiding it.

"A leader is supposed to exude strength." He paused. "My life is far from perfect."

"Neither is mine. But this opportunity is really tempting. I like pushing my own boundaries. But to be honest I'm not happy about spending everyday as an ANBU. I would like to take on missions that require my skill-set, but I don't want to stand guard and all that other boring stuff. I just took on an s-class mission, so it's not like I'm not already involved in ANBU ranked material." She said.

"You can't just choose the missions you want and sort away all the other stuff you don't want to. Either you're in or you're out. Choosing simply to be the one to butcher the targets is not an option." He responded, looking back at her.

She laughed abruptly and humorlessly "Don't compare my love of murder for casual butchering. I've just entered Amegakure, a complex web of intrigue where murder comes from poison or dagger in the night. That sort of murder is like fine sake... Compared to that butchering is like cheap piss."

He tried to remain impassive but couldn't shake off the surge of respect he felt for her. When he had first met her she was truly unrefined, but now she was carefully polished - polished by himself, the hokage and society to show her true potential. She was so dangerous and yet he held no doubt of her loyalty anymore. At least not to him.

He shook his head and smirked "Listen to you. You used to butcher people in a rampage. Now you have everyone fooled you've become a good citizen who lives above a herb store and enjoys life as a low profile ninja. Only the hokage and the higher-ups nows what exactly you've become capable of."

She snorted "Fooled? You sound like I manipulate people. I'm not smart enough for that. I just do what I like and keep a low profile."

"And even that sentence could be deceitful." He said jokingly.

She smacked his arm lightly and gave him a scowl. He fought not to chuckle at that offended look.

"Don't say that. I would never try to deceive you. I hope you know that!" She responded.

"Of course I was just kidding." He said putting up his arms on the backrest behind him.

Her eyes skimmed over his shoulder and bicep before she looked away. He used to find it amusing that she obviously admired his body, in fact it was kind of flattering although he had that effect on most girls. But now he simply grew anxious by those looks cause he was equally as attracted to her body apparently. He shifted a bit in his seat, his leg accidentally gracing hers. They both flinched away at the touch and Kakashi cleared his throat.

"Sorry." He muttered.

Why had it become almost impossible to have a serious conversation with the girl without those odd moments of physical attraction? It happened almost every time they saw each other now. Stolen glances, awkward moments lost in the image of the other. You're way older than her Kakashi, he told himself. It's not okay, even though he told himself that, he couldn't seem to convince himself.

"You know how I feel about you joining. The choice - unfortunately - is up to you." He said to get rid of the tension.

"Right." She mused seeming lost in thought.

He watched her subtly. Watched her green eyes drift distantly like she was somewhere else. A sense of deja vu crept around in his mind. Once again she looked ancient, innocent, pure like she was from the other side of the world from some unknown place, belonging in another culture in another age. Her full lips were parted, her fair hair clung to her skin. For some reason he was waiting for her to stand up an manipulate the air like she had done the last time they were here. Their eyes met and her eyebrows were furrowed sorrowfully.

"I have something else to tell you." She said.

Her forest green eyes seemed to shine through the gloomy lighting of the hot springs. His insides were coiled up again, tense at what else she had to say. She smoothly slid closer, the ripples in the water she created hitting his side and stomach softly. He wouldn't know what to do if she decided to seduce him. Closer she came and leaned over his shoulder to whisper in his ear. He forgot to breathe.

"I met Kisame Hisagi in Amegakure. But I haven't told anyone."

He snapped his face to her. Their faces were close and she only backed away a few inches. From this distance he could feel her soft breath, see the droplets roll down her cheek and over her parted lips.

"How did you survive?" was the first thing he could think of to say without sounding too dry.

She leaned away and seated herself like before, crossing her arms, the round top of her breasts pushed upwards just above the surface. He gulped, telling himself to not look away, but look her in the eyes instead. In that moment before, it was as if she had been a magnet. He blinked at how easily she could withdraw from him. She doesn't know... She doesn't know that I'm attracted to her, he told himself. He feared to slip up and hint exactly how attracted he was to the half naked girl beside him. Why was his body so treacherous?!

"I didn't pose a threat to him. In fact we met on friendly terms. I must admit I was afraid of him in the beginning, but he's actually fairly peaceful if you just talk to him normally." She said.

Kakashi had to focus "You do know that it's a crime to withhold information?" He said.

"I know. But it's a crime to mingle with the enemy as well. Besides I told the hokage that there were traces of akatsuki in the city. That was what my mission was about." She responded.

"Did you learn anything about him then?" He asked.

"No not really. We just talked about stuff I guess. He would've been suspicious if I asked too obvious questions. His chakra is immense though. I've never felt anything like it." She seemed ponder.

The copy ninja wasn't quite sure how to react. Either Toshi was making influential contacts or she was just enough stupid to mingle with a man like Kisame. Also she was lying. He squinted his eyes at her and she saw.

"Okay, well I know that his sword is alive." She huffed when Kakashi's look had told her to spit it out.

"You know you have to tell the hokage." He said, turning more towards her.

"But what if I can get closer? Get more information? If feel like I'm burning I bridge if I tell the hokage."

"First of all, ANBU is supposed to report everything to the hokage. Second of all, you're burning a bridge with the hokage by not telling him." He sighed frustrated "Toshi you can't go about making your own rules. Some day it'll backfire."

He wasn't quite sure if he even believed that himself. He was highly independent himself. No, it was wrong of him to tell her that. She was highly individual and unique and lived only according to her own wishes and beliefs, unconstrained from obligation to authority, society's conventions or others. She was about to give him a reprimand but he cut her off to correct himself.

"No, I shouldn't have said that. That is exactly what makes you a great ninja. Do what you believe is the best." He wanted to tell her that she should keep him out of her secrets, but he liked to know what she doing behind everyones backs.

"Thanks. That coming from you." She muttered.

The grey haired ninja softened a bit at her sullen expression.

"I tried to flirt with Kisame. But he's a tough nail." She said like it had just popped into her mind.

Kakashi wasn't sure if Toshi knew how to flirt. But he supposed that she had gotten some experience by dating Kenshin. He laughed abruptly.

"You? Flirt? I can't imagine that." He teased, his eyes gleaming at her.

She set her jaw stubbornly, an offended look crossing her features.

"Hey! I'm actually fairly good at it now. I mean, men are so easy to trick." She responded.

"Right." He said, not convinced. Maybe she could be attractive or tantalizing - but that was not in a conscious way.

"You know actually-" She leaned over to him again, and put her arm on the backrest.

He felt her move in the water as her hand went to the shell of his ear. He couldn't help but notice the top of her breasts again. They almost grazed his arm.

"How has your ear been since I cut it?" She asked in a husky voice as if the warmth was getting to her head.

"Um." Kakashi fought the goosebumps that erupted in his neck. It was like a pleasant chill that went right down to his groin.

Her thigh grazed his and this time she didn't flinch but kept it there, while he was suddenly as still as a stone. The skin on her thigh was soft under the water. She knows, he told himself again. She can feel my attraction. She peeped around at his face and then he met her eyes, watching him innocently. He leaned his face away a bit, reminding himself to breathe. What was it she asked before?

"Um I..." Once again she was like a magnet.

He fought to not allow his head to tilt of move even an inch forward towards her lips. She was so close. He could see the smooth line of her collarbone. Remain passive. Remain untouched. Everything about him was controlled into indifference except his words and his growing manhood. When he looked up again he met her eyes once more, and now the innocent look was replaced by a victorious smile.

That was when Kakashi realized he had been tricked. Embarrassment flooded his whole body and he was glad that it was so hot in there or she would've seen him blush. The blond moved back in her seat and leaned victoriously against the stone edge of the pool. Kakashi was left speechless. He should've pretended to give in, that would've scared her away.

"Even someone as trained as you can fall for the simplest of tricks. You couldn't even answer my question. Jeez, what is it with guys and breasts?" She said cheekily.

All of Kakashi's pride was gone, taken away in an instant. He closed his eyes and released a breath, slumping into the water. How? How how how how?! How could he have gone so rigid just because of, well, whatever she did. Had he gone soft after retiring from ANBU? Did other girls have that effect on him now? He comforted himself with the fact that he had remained indifferent, at least outwards.

And what was he thinking? He didn't even know if Toshi was capable of being attracted to anyone more than friends, hell, he didn't even know if she had needs. She probably didn't. How could he have forgotten that? Was she really that convincing? He was positively sure that no girl could get the same reaction out of him.

"I'll admit you were pretty convincing there." He admitted, only to show her that he was still non-affected in any way.

She smiled sheepishly "Yeah well, of course it's a bit easier being half naked." She said.

"Well, you convinced me." She knows... How could she not know? She could sense peoples moods! If she ever found out how his body actually reacted to her, she would devour him and pick her teeth with his bones, he did not doubt.

She chuckled "Thanks. But I usually get a more apparent reaction. You are harder to convince, not that I in any way expected it to work on you, it obviously didn't do much."

He looked at her, the hovering cloud of fear seeming to drift away.

"You'll just have to practice then." He lied, satisfied with the outcome, the situation considered.

Toshi shrugged "Yeah... I'm not going to practice on you anyways."

"Why not?" He blurted before thinking. Kakashi wanted to smack his forehead with the heel of his hand.

The blond girl looked perplexed at him as if she'd said something wrong.

"Um... Because, well..." She became flustered at his question and he wanted to just stop her, but there was no taking back the question now.

"You're you and it wouldn't work on you." She said and shrugged.

That was true - if it had been two months ago, but now... Maybe it was good thing that she thought that. It would save him all this embarrassing trouble. He had promised to be honest with her though and not to play any games. The grey haired man sighed at the dilemma. He should just forget they ever had this conversation.

"I guess we'll never know." He said. It wasn't a lie and it wasn't playing games. He was just brushing the conversation under the carpet.

"Guess we won't" She chirped.

Kakashi was getting enough tension and secret conversations. Okay, maybe it was just the tension he couldn't stand.

"You have a big decision to make." He said and got up "And I'm getting cooked."

"Right we've been here for long now." She said and nodded at him. "I think I'll stay a couple more minutes to think though."

That was intense, Kakashi thought when he was dressing, glad to be away from someone who stirred up so much in him. From now on, hot-spring conversations was only meant for big issues.

.

Two elders, one hokage and one Danzo was looking at me, their expressions unreadable. The hokage's office was big and round with a view to the village.

"Toshi we have summoned you to offer you a position either in ANBU or Root." Hiruzen said. Today he wasn't smoking his pipe.

I pretended to look surprised at the offer as I already knew what this meeting was about.

"I'm honored." I answered and kneeled down on one knee, something Kakashi had taught me to do.

I felt Danzo's gaze at me and felt his hope and urge for me to join Root.

"Tell us which division you would like to join miss Setsuko." The elder woman said.

I looked up, pretending to be thinking about my answer. I but my lip, hoping what I was about to ask for wouldn't cause a debate.

"I'm not fit for either of the jobs." I said. The four elders looked at each other perplexed.

"But if you will allow it, I can act as a substitute ANBU when you need extra back-up on high classed missions."

"Completely and utterly preposterous!" Danzo growled and I continued:

"I'm not fit to stand guard and do paperwork. I wouldn't like the work." The unsaid thing here was that I didn't go well with taking orders all the time and only the hokage seemed to catch up on that.

"You should be grateful you're even offered this position considering you're not even a jounin. Making up your own terms of condition is unheard of." Homura - the elder man with grey shaggy hair - said.

"She's offering herself at the most beneficial she can be to village, can't you see that Homura?" Koharu - the elder woman - said.

"No one can ask terms like that. You're just taking her side because she's a woman." Danzo said, clearly not satisfied with the fact that I choose ANBU.

"That is a serious accusation Danzo, suggesting I say this out of feminism. What I say is the truth and you know it." Koharu said.

Don't get caught up in the political tangling of the elders, I remembered Kakashi say at one point. I was standing in the middle of it.

"She probably doesn't even know what that word mean." Danzo muttered darkly.

"Feminist; A person that believes in the social, economic and political equality of the sexes." I said monotonously, shutting up the chatter of voices that had erupted in the room.

The hokage sighed "No one has ever been a substitute ANBU. You're either in or you're out."

"I know. But this is what I can offer you even though what I want most is to represent Konoha either with a headband or with ANBU gear. I know what I may loose by declining a full-time position." I explained.

"Unheard of." Homura muttered.

Silence filled the room and honestly I wasn't quite sure what to expect.

"We'll discuss this in private, Toshi you can leave." The hokage said and waved a hand at me.

I simply nodded, stealing last glance around the group of people before I turned to walk out the door.

.

It hurt to get a tattoo, but apparently it was a must when joining the ANBU. Somehow Koharu had convinced the counsel to let me join ANBU as a substitute and quite frankly I had not seen it coming. On my left arm now was the spiral tattoo of the ANBU, still sore and red after the needle.

The most uncomfortable thing was to meet the rest of the team, mostly lead by a guy named Tenzo with brown hair and dark round eyes. It was known amongst the members that I had been under the wing of their former captain Kakashi and it demanded respect and enmity at the same time.

I was handed the standard ANBU gear consisting of a porcelain cat-mask, black clothing, a grey flack jacket, metal arm guards and gloves, ninja sandals with spikes for traveling into mountainous regions, three black ninja pouches, black bandages, a black cloak and of course a katana to be fastened to the back.

Kakashi wasn't in any way happy with my decision, but supported it nevertheless, saying that it was incredible that I convinced the counsel to let me be a substitute. The last thing left was a mission I'd gotten before becoming ANBU and it felt almost like a trial-mission.

.

In the darkness of the streets a figure appeared and disappeared. Moonlight revealed her again, swiftly and cunningly moving across rooftops. For a moment he marveled at her lean dark figure, clad in dark clothes from head to toe. Sometimes is was as if the air stood completely still around her. Not even a leaf lifted from the ground when she moved. He liked seeing her like that. Like a predator, slowly moving in its target. He looked up; it was a black night, only a thin sliver of moon peeping through the clouds that blew past. He could hear the murmur of crickets.

Shin had been keeping watch over her for a long time now. Every mission she was on, and even some times in her daily life, he was watching her under orders of Danzo. She was well aware of his presence, he did not doubt.

He was ordered to remain passive unless something went gravely wrong. So far, she had completed most missions flawlessly, and to be honest he was glad he didn't have to interfere. Too much interaction would just spoil his cover. Although he was a member of the Root, he had grown fond of her and was even starting to desire her. Danzo didn't know. He thought it was all just an act. Root members wasn't supposed to feel emotions, especially not affection towards other people.

Toshi disappeared into the shaft of a building, glancing in his direction one time before she was gone, followed by those two cats that followed her everywhere. Shin leaped around the building, into an empty yard, and stood beside a window, hood tugged over his head to shade his mask in darkness. He watched and listened.

Toshi's POV.

Shaft's always made me feel claustrophobic. The darkness and the cramped space left me immobile and defenseless to any attacks. That's why it was so important to remain as quiet as possible. I crawled with my elbows towards the dim light that shone out an opening. Muffled voices drifted through the tunnels. At the moment I was crawling right above the common hall of an old ale bar. I had done this so many times now that I felt confident in what I was doing.

Gathering intel had been my main occupation over my last few missions, and supposedly this was an important source to Akatsuki. I looked down between the bars in the shaft and saw half a table. The persons I wanted to listen to was sitting somewhere else, and the bar was crowded with people, making it difficult for me reach them with my chakra.

The lightning was dim, only candles and a few electric lamps helped bathing the bar in a gloomy yellow light. It was a perfect hideout for secret meetings, especially in such a small village as this one, on the boarder of the land of sound.

My right arm was starting to sleep before I picked up on the mention of Orochimaru. I craned my neck to listen better, but I couldn't distinguish their voices from the higher ones right below me.

I bit my lip and thought my options through. I could just keep on listening, and perhaps miss the conversation of my life, or I could dare to reach out and listen to his mind. I peeped back at the two cats sleeping behind me, like the situation was the most casual thing in the world. Nephthys opened one ice blue eye, indicating that she was only sleeping lightly. I nodded to her and looked back into bar, then reached out to his mind, slowly and carefully making sure I got the right one. As soon as I felt his chakra, the two men talking went still. I drew back and held my breath. He was a sensory type. Why was I not informed?!

Before I could spare it a second thought I somehow crashed through the shaft, a whole section of metal going down with me. For a moment the only thing I saw was a sudden giant hole in front of me and then I tumbled around with the shaft, falling out of it, before hitting the ground. I landed on my feet and hands, and the first thing I registered was the crowd around me, then the man with a the sword who had cut down the shaft, and beside him the informer. He had small eyes sitting close together, and big full lips and a big flat nose. He was big for a sensory type but had the typical large shape of a bounty hunter and their harsh looks. In the blink of an eye the bar broke into chaos. Tables and chairs where thrown about, each man blaming the other for hiring me. I'd almost forgotten I was wearing no headband, the confusion obvious on everyones face. But the two ninjas which I had been actually spying on came directly at me.

I dodged a bottle flying over my head and quickly ruled out threats around me. I drew my katana before side stepping out of reach of the sword that was swung at me. I plunged forward lashing at the guy. Left and right we went, dodging chairs, skipping over turned tables. My sword cut through fabric and muscle in his thigh. Heket came out of nowhere, clawing at the mans face like a cat gone mad. To my left the sensory ninja came at me. It was by then I noticed the gash in my side and the warm feel of blood flowing down my ribs and thigh. I hopped backwards, and saw Shin hewing his way through mad ninjas.

"Who sent you? Was it Pein?!" The man spat and moved at me in calculated patterns.

I had no idea who this Pein was, so I kept my mouth shot, looking for an opening. Slashing at him, but always missing by and inch, I created air currents to confuse him. A man from my left was hacking and slashing at everything that came near him, going in a rampage. I dodged another bottle thrown at me and staggered when the sensory ninja kicked me point blank in solar plexus. Someone smashed a chair to splinters over my back, and for a second I saw stars and couldn't breathe. All emotions and minds came washing over me in a brain overload. Voices, memories, feelings filled my head and I slapped my hands to my ears to make it stop. I saw Heket still pestering the swordsman, and then I saw the sensory ninja's Kunai coming in. Someone shoved into my shoulder, the sensory type managing to make the smallest of cuts across the tip of my little finger. I felt like my head was submerged in water, and everything around me was going on in slow-motion. Slam, and I was up against a wall.

"Get it together Toshi!" Shin was shouting frantically at me, shaking my shoulders violently.

"So much pain!" I spat through gritted teeth, trying to make the memories stop.

"Focus!" He snapped his fingers in front of me, dark eyes peering at me through a porcelain mask.

Yes, I should focus. The situation was such a chaos that I had lost all sense of survey of the events happening around me. Everything had happened so suddenly, and for so long I had been so careful. This had almost never happened before.

Somehow Shin was now running with me, my arm slung around his neck as I barely could keep up.

"After them!" Someone shouted as we descended the streets.

"We have to get them off our tail." I said, my senses starting to come to life again.

"No shit!" Shin said in an all too neutral voice.

I started supporting myself and ran with him.

"You shouldn't strain yourself." The black haired Root said, and I wondered why he said that.

We reached dark woods all the while I tried to confuse our trails in their heads. But my mind was too much of a mess to actually focus on it while also running.

"My wound is fine." I answered when we were out of hearing distance.

"That's not what I'm concerned about." He said.

My eyebrows pulled down in confusion. Did he mean my mental state of mind or something? An icy rush of wind gusted through the trees, leaves fell all around us as autumn took its toll on the landscape. Shin grabbed my upper arm and lead me towards a hill side. A small hollow provided some shelter from the wind, but it was hard to see each other. He pulled out a subtle flashlight and took my wrist to examine my hand.

"What're you doing?" I asked, a sense of panic starting to show itself in me.

"I might still be able to help you. But you have to trust me." He said and started binding thin hemp robe tight around my finger.

"Trust you?! I barely know you!" I heard myself say, over the fact the he had just saved my life.

"I just saved your life!" He retaliated, irritation starting to show in his voice.

And here I thought Root was supposed to be emotionless. I looked at the eyes through the mask, and saw only darkness. The flashlight was absorbing all light the pale moon provided.

"Yeah but.. "

Shin shoved his mask aside in a frustrated manner, the porcelain shattering at the harsh impact of stone and hard earth. My breath caught in my throat. Kenshin sat in front of me, his eyes full of life and fire. His lips where pressed hard together, his brow creased down over his deep set of eyes.

"You've been poisoned." He said and shoved my little finger into his mouth and started to suck.

I starred at him, feeling his wet tongue around my finger. All the while we starred at each other, I couldn't comprehend the fact that Kenshin was Root, and the fact that I had never even suspected once.

He lead my finger out and reached for something in his pocket. I slapped him across the cheek, almost on instinct. The impact echoed through the hillside, and he clenched his jaw stubbornly, his eyes flickering from mine for a brief moment.

"Why didn't you tell me?! Was it Danzo who ordered you to seduce me and take me out on dates?!" I hissed at him. I was ready to rip his throat out.

"No I did it because I started liking you." He said neutrally after having recovered the slap.

"That's bullshit!" I hissed again.

"I don't have time for this Toshi." He responded and shoved my arm forward across a rock.

"What're you doing?!" There was no time to think.

"I need to-"

A clap of thunder echoed through the sky. The rest of what he said was drowned out by the noise. I thought I lost my change to hear it. But I was wrong. I never needed to hear his words, because right before my eyes the answer soon appeared.

HACK.

Kenshin's hand was at my mouth before I could scream. Where the tip of my finger had been, now was a kunai, sliced through meat and bone and stuck in the rock below. The black haired Root had cut off the tip of my finger, starting from the root of the nail.

"I'm so sorry Toshi. But this was the only way to save you." He muttered, still pressing his hand to my mouth as I struggled against it, my eyes wide in horrification.

I starred at my hand not able to comprehend what had happened. Kenshin released me and started wrapping my finger in linen, a stubborn and painful look evident on his features. The wind howled against the rocks, cold and merciless. My finger was throbbing now.

"We have to get moving. I was cut too but took the last antidote I had with me. I'm growing weak by the minute." He explained.

He slapped my shoulder to rouse me out of my little world.

"You can mourn your finger when we're in safety." He said.

I nodded and finally looked at him. Sweat was trickling down his forehead and his skin was pale. He was panting. I gulped and pushed him away. He was right, I had to put all my personal feelings aside and focus on surviving.

"Right." I said and scrambled to my feet. The wound in my side was more painful than the missing tip of my finger. I still couldn't feel it.

We started running again, Kenshin growing weaker and slower. Eventually he collapsed. I rushed to his side and slung his arm around my shoulder to help him further. Root and ANBU had a reputation of pushing themselves to the limit, meaning that his collapse meant that he was on the point of fainting.

"Come on Kenshin." I growled and started dragging him along.

"Leave me. I'll only slow you down." He breathed, jaw clenched his determination.

It was such a typical Root thing to say. I almost rolled my eyes at him. If there was anything I had learned from being around Kakashi, it was to never abandon a comrade.

"How could I not have known you were Root." I muttered.

My efforts proved to be too much of a struggle. I was loosing a hell lot of blood while carrying Kenshin along. We collapsed under a large oak. The Root ninja was slipping in and out of consciousness while the antidote was fighting off the poison in his body.

I needed help. Gathering some of Eien's chakra in a last effort, I summoned Neshkent. The old tiger was immediately uncomfortable about the weather and the situation and huddled up along the trunk.

"I need help. I need to get to safety." I said, panting as I leaned against the giant oak.

"Foolish girl. Do I look like someone who can help you?" Neshkent's brown eyes stared at me as if I had lost my mind.

I cursed and held my hand tight against the wound at my ribs. I couldn't muster enough chakra to summon a larger cat and I had never made an allegiance with any other than the twins, Neshkent and Sokar.

"Summon Khanun. Maybe he will help you." Neshkent said.

"I don't have the strength to convince him." I breathed.

"If you summon him I'll speak you case." The old tiger responded.

I closed my eyes in exhaustion before I looked at my hand. Could I draw that much chakra out? The amount of chakra used for summoning something that big was immense. Besides, having one of the three big cats helping me in this state was unlikely.

"You have no other option." Neshkent said, his fur windblown and shaggy.

I gritted my teeth, gathering the mental strength to do it. My finger was starting to hurt a lot, and blood was still gushing out of my side. I took in a deep breath and concentrated my chakra like I had never done before. I felt Eien's strength gathering in my palm. Not enough. Not enough. Almost there. My hand was about to explode in energy before I performed the seal and slammed my hand to the ground.

My vision became blurry as a huge black figure emerged in front of me. I saw two giant furry paws in front of me, but couldn't move or focus enough to get an actual picture.

"Greetings Khanun." I heard Neshkent yell over the howling of the wind.

"Neshkent. What is the meaning of this?" A deep bass-like voice spoke. It send tremors of respect down my body.

"Please help the girl. She's the one who has befriended Nephthys and Heket."

A pause followed as a giant nose sniffed me, its warm breath coming down on me in large puffs. He was gentle, I could feel.

"I'm no horse." The giant cat bellowed.

"She just needs someplace safe where she can heal her wounds. Please. For Eien's sake." Neshkent yelled.

Another long pause. I counted every breath I was taking in, fighting to stay awake. Kenshin was already out cold, slumped against my shoulder and breathing shallowly.

"Please." I breathed, doubting that no one could hear it.

"Fine, this once." The deep voice said.

A wave of relief washed over me and my lips trembled at the thought. The large cat lay down in front of me, cutting off some of the wind. I could barely see his form in the darkness of the forest. But he looked giant.

"You have to crawl up yourself girl." Khanun said.

The old tiger beside me nudged my shoulder, urging me forward. I struggled to get up, barely seeing where I was going before I lifted Kenshin and slung him up across the back of the cat. I lifted his legs up, so they where placed on either side of the cat. I half jumped up on back, behind Kenshin and leaned forward to shelter Kenshin on either side of my arms.

"Thank you." I squeaked weakly.

"Hold on." Khanun said, his deep voice sending vibrations through me.

I took a hold of his fur, long and shaggy like Neshkent's. I barely noticed when the old tiger disappeared and I was left alone with who knows how big a cat.

"You have to stay conscious if you want to hold on girl." He said and stood up.

"If you keep going south you'll reach an inn called The Fire Maiden. We should be safe there." I breathed, hoping the cat could hear me.

"Alright." I felt him nod before leaning my head against Kenshin's back, clenching the fur tightly.

He started out in a fast trot before his movements became more fluid in a fast gallop. Faster and faster he went, trees and hills passing by like tall dark soldiers. I felt like I was riding a black shadow, struggling to hold my balance as he sped forward almost silently. The power beneath us was undoubtedly immense and a few times I felt almost safe on his warm back. It seemed like an eternity before Khanun stopped in what seemed like a clearing.

"There is The Fire Maiden. You have to walk the rest of the way. I'll just attract too much attention." The big cat said and lowered himself.

Kenshin who had stirred a couple of times, in and out of conciseness, looked up from all the fur his face was buried in. I swung my legs off of Khanun's back and put Kenshin's arm around my shoulder. The big cat was still shrouded in darkness of the trees, but as he stood up, he seemed to tower over me with watchful blue eyes.

"Thank you. I'll repay the debt when I'm healthy again." I said.

Kenshin was staring at Khanun like he was having a bad dream. The big cat nodded once and disappeared in a blur of smog.

"We're almost at the inn, come on." I told Kenshin and started walking the distance across the open space.

This reminded me all too much of the mission in the land of ice, all the struggling and fighting for life. My heart pounded wildly as we limbed across the grasses and onto the path towards the faint yellow glow of the warm inn. I had to make it over there before anyone found us. I just had to.

At least it will give us some time to recover, I thought, knowing that this inn mostly was visited by the people of the country of fire.

When I burst in through the door, a young lad had the nightshift, sitting by a warm fireplace reading a book. He jumped up when we came tumbling inside. He was a scrawny kid, but had the brains to carry a knife in his belt.

"I need a room." I said, sweat trickling down my brow though it had been freezing outside.

"J-just a moment. I'll get my father." The boy stuttered and disappeared behind a door.

I took the time to place Kenshin in a chair, and leaned against the counter, all sense of patience in me gone. It was as if my head was heavy with fluid. I could barely focus. A man came scurrying out in his pyjamas, the bags under his eyes indicating that he had been sleeping heavily.

"We just need a room, that's all." I breathed.

"One night is 25 ryo." The man said, his sleepy eyes growing large at our physical state.

"Fine." I took a hand to my pocket and dug for coins and smashed all I had onto the counter.

"This should be enough." I breathed and looked at the man, trying my best to look strong.

"Right, but we want no trouble." He said while counting the coins.

"We just need rest from a long mission. We'll course no trouble." I said, gritting my teeth.

I could understand why civilians would be reluctant to let two battered ninjas stay at their inn. If anyone was following us - like there actually were - it could course them their life.

"Here's your key. Your room is number four." He said and picked at his long mustache while eying the both of us.

"Thanks." I said and wasted no more time by the counter.

I took Kenshin by the arm again and made it upstairs, managing to open the door before throwing Kenshin at the bed. After that I managed to take off my shirt and balaclava helmet. Thereafter I searched Kenshin's pouches and found wrapping and absorbent cotton to stop the bleeding in my side. The wind came screaming off the house, knifing through all layers of clothing to freeze the blood in my veins. Kenshin let out a harsh breath, his hands clutching the sheets. I lay down beside him and took his hand. It was burning hot.

"I'll be by your side Shin." I breathed.

He clenched my hand tight without a reply. I had no idea how he felt, but I knew Root didn't give each other comfort or waited to save a comrade. At least I could give him that much.

.

Kakashi raced through the trees with Tenzo in his heels. He glanced to the west, where the light of the rising sun could be seen dimly through the trees, like the glow of a distant fire. He was searching for Toshi, unofficially. His ANBU comrade Tenzo had warned him that Toshi had a deadline on her current mission and that she probably was facing trouble if she hadn't returned before 3 am at night. The two had been searching for two hours now, without much luck.

The grey haired man stopped on a branch and his brown haired comrade landed beside him. A sigh of wind brought the scent of human, over fainter smells that spoke of fox and hares. The two followed the scent as it grew more and more foul. Kakashi thought it smelled like pigs, until they came to a clearing. No, pigs had cleaner smell. This stink was piss and rotting meat and nightsoil, this was the reek of corpse flesh and weeping sores and wounds gone bad, so strong the overwhelmed even the trained elite ninja.

He slapped a hand over his nose and looked at the clearing beneath. Corpses swollen and pale in death lay on the ground, lined up to their fait as food for the animals of the forest. Maggots and crows had already eaten out their eyes.

"I thought I knew this place. This was where Toshi went on a rampage." Tenzo said through a closed nose.

"She killed a lot." Kakashi noted. "I would've thought you had buried the bodies or at least gotten rid of them."

"We were on a tight schedule and we didn't count the casualties into our plans." The wood-style user explained.

Kakashi scanned the battlefield, his eyes carefully taking in every detail.

"I see you're still struggling with finding a replacement for me." He responded, while thinking that he had to teach Toshi how to control her powers better.

"Maybe we can pick up her scent here." He added.

It would've been no problem to pickup her scent by just taking a piece of her clothing with them. But every time she went on a mission she washed herself with a smell-free soap, and left no scent behind other than the standard smell of human.

"No. The smell of corpse is overwhelming all other scents here." Tenzo said.

"Dammit. You're right." Kakashi muttered and squadded on the branch while wrecking his brain for other ideas.

The sight of all those corpses gave him the creeps although he was used to it from all his years of participating in the war.

"Let's search for the scent of foreign cats again." The grey haired ninja said at last and turned away from the scenery.

Tenzo agreed and they went searching another hour before Kakashi found a few strands of long black fur that reeked of the scent of cat. He glanced at Tenzo, their gazes sharing a silent conversation.

He wasn't sure why he was so intent on finding her, but his stomach had been a tight knot ever since Tenzo had come to him. Normally he would spare her a few thoughts when he knew she was on missions, but he never had such a tight knot in his stomach before, except for that time when he found out she was breaking in to the hokage's archive.

They found only a few footprints along the floor of the forest, and judging by the size of the paws, this cat had been huge. The scent lead them back towards Konoha again and ended in a clearing across The Fire Maiden. Both men was fully aware of the life in the forest. Someone was searching for somebody and it could very possibly be Toshi.

"Did two ninjas, possibly wounded, come by here this night." Kakashi asked the innkeeper, a comely man with a thick mustache under his nose as they stood by the counter.

"Yeah, and they are guests. Whatever quarrels you have, take it outside." He responded brusquely, giving Kakashi a hard bold stare.

"We are friends. Which room are they staying in?" He asked.

The innkeeper gave the ninja a suspicious scowl "Room four."

"Thank you." Kakashi said and put two ryo on the table for the innkeepers troubles.

They walked upstairs and walked along a wooden hallway until they came to room four. Kakashi knocked lightly on the door:

"Toshi are you in there? It's Kakashi." He called and listened to someone scramble around.

He felt an odd tickling, and reminded himself that she had the ability to feel other peoples minds and was checking to see if it actually was him.

"Two seconds." He heard her voice, hoarse and dry. Some more scrambling followed before she opened the lock to the room.

Her green eyes looked almost pale, but not as pale as her skin. Her expression though was full of emotion.

"How did you find us?" She squeaked in relief.

He stepped forward and grabbed her by her arms to give her support.

"What happened?" He asked ignoring her question, startled to see her in such state.

He lead her inside and saw Kenshin laying on the bed, one eye open as he gave Kakashi a feverish smirk.

"We were poisoned and I lost a lot of blood." She said as he seated her on the bed.

He noticed the blood on her hands as she released her ribs. A rush of anger washed through him at the sght of her wounded side. Just the thought of anyone inflicting a wound on her made him want to kill that person.

"You're so silent." She looked at him worried, like he was mad at her.

He didn't realize he had just been staring at her while his thoughts went on a rampage. It wasn't like him to feel like that.

"Yes. I'm quite shocked to see you in such bad shape. It has been a long time I guess." He explained and looked at Shin.

"He saved me." The blond said when she saw him looking at the Root ninja.

So Shin's secret was finally out in the open. There had been so many times he had wanted to tell her that he was Root, but he wanted her to figure it out herself.

"Thank you Shin." He heard himself say, not quite knowing why he had the need to thank him.

Toshi bit her lip. Obviously, she knew that the copy ninja had known about Shin's secret. She lifted her hand weakly and spread her fingers.

"I'm missing the tip of my little finger now." She explained.

Another surge of anger rushed through Kakashi again. The tip of her finger?! He grabbed her wrist and examined the wrappings. Then he glanced at Shin.

"You cut the tip off?" He snapped at the black haired man, trying to restrain himself from drawing a Kunai to the Root's throat.

"She would've died from the poison." Shin answered weakly.

"It's true." Toshi said, seeming to have a fever.

Kakashi decided to put all apparent feelings aside and took in a deep breath to get a overview of the situation. Tenzo stood silently with his ANBU mask in place, waiting for any orders Kakashi might give. Though ANBU was the hokages ninjas, Kakashi still held a certain hold of some of the members who was close to him.

"Tenzo, take Shin to Konoha and get his wounds treated. I'll quickly rinse Toshi's wounds so she's ready for travel." He commanded.

Tenzo nodded, not in the least showing how uncomfortable he was with helping a Root member.

When they were gone, Kakashi wasted no time grabbing for surgical spirit in his pouch. Toshi laid back in the bed, knowing what was about to happen. Obviously there was a lot of questions he wanted to ask, but they were located too vulnerably at the moment to waist any time talking.

"I'm starting with your finger." He said and sat down beside her.

"I can't believe I'm missing the tip." She muttered while looking at the ceiling.

Kakashi couldn't believe it either, but what was done was done. There was no changing it now except making it better. The flesh around her little finger already smelled of sickness and when he opened the wrapping he could tell that some of the exposed flesh was festering. Toshi hissed when he exposed it to air.

"This pain. I've never tried anything like it. It's the sort of pain that can drive you mad." She breathed, not daring to look at his direction.

"I can only imagine." He responded. He had never had wounds this bad, but he had tried to have festering wounds. It could only be endured for so long.

The grey haired ninja operated quickly and forced Toshi to take his folded glove in her mouth.

"This is going to hurt." He took his hand behind her neck and looked her directly in the eyes.

"Try not to scream, okay?" Kakashi leaned his forehead against hers, when an expression full of fear crossed her features.

She nodded against his forehead and closed her eyes, breathing heavily against him. He pressed his forehead against hers for a moment longer, hating to be the one to inflict pain on her. A lump caught in his throat, and for a second he considered to let Konoha hospital be the bad guys. Put your feelings aside, he tried to convince himself. Leaning away he pulled the stopper of the bottle off with his teeth and held out her hand. He saw her clench her teeth and hesitated for a moment. Then she squeezed her eyes shut, before he poured the spirits on to the wound. Her whole body tensed up and she gritted her teeth hard down on the glove, leaning away, only a small growl escaping her lips. She punched the bed with her other hand and slammed her head back into the wall.

"It's over." He muttered. She let out a deep breath and panted hard, writhing in the sheets from the after effects. Deftly he wrapped up the finger in cotton and white wrappings once again before moving to the wound in her side.

The wrappings clung to her wound when he peeled them off, the flapping flesh around her wound starting to turn purple, sticking out from under her skin like the meat in a cracked sausage. He fought not to cringe at the sight, knowing that she was watching him.

"This is bad. I can't stitch it up like this." He moved his fingers unsure around the wound, an decided to do the same as he had done to the finger.

He sighed and clenched his fist, eyebrows finally cringing downwards.

"I'll have to rinse it." He said finally, his onyx eye flickering to hers.

Her mouth tightened. He could see she wanted to scream no, but knew she had no other choice. If she started begging him to let it be, he might've obliged.

"It'll be quick."

Toshi put the glove on her mouth again, closing her eyes as she started hyperventilating. I'm sorry, he thought to himself. At least no bone was exposed as in her finger, but it would still sting a lot. She arched her back when he poured the spirit into her wound, this time a faint growl escaping her throat. She writhed in the sheets before Kakashi started wrapping her up in new wrappings. He needed to get her out of there and disappear before anyone found them. There was no time for comfort although that was the only thing he was burning for to do.

"Come." He grabbed her black shirt and threw it at her as he went to the window to take a brief glance.

She was gritting her teeth when she sat up and put on the shirt, seeming to battle with her body. He noticed the explosion tags she had put up in the window and door, even on the ceiling. The thought of loosing her gave him another rush of fear and anger, and he suddenly realized how easily he could loose her because of her occupation. This lead to him being mad at himself for feeling so strongly about her. Missing her, afraid of loosing her, angry if anyone hurt her... All his friends was ninjas, all could die on duty. But loosing her shook him to his very core. And it was frightening and unfamiliar. He had made a promise though. A promise to not push her away anymore.

Toshi stood up now, having fastened her new ANBU katana to her back. He glared at her. When had she cornered him like that? When exactly had that happened? He let out a breath he didn't realize he had been holding. No, he had cornered himself by allowing himself to open up to her and even be attracted to her at times. He would do anything for her, he realized, and he was prepared to slay anyone who got in their way.

"I'm ready." She said, still pale and feverish.

She tossed him his glove, bite marks still evident in the leather. A cold determined look lingered in her eyes as he slung her arm around his neck to support her. He pushed all feelings aside and found his battle-mode. The only objective was to get her to safety.

"Wait." Toshi put her hand on his chest and looked at the door when they where downstairs.

Kakashi had sensed it too. Everyone was hiding in their rooms. Something was up.

"We should go out the back." She added, weakly glancing around the common room.

He looked down at her, for some reason feeling impatient. If she was going to die of a simple wound he could never forgive himself. He would cleave through every enemy if that was what it took. He pulled up his head protecter and revealed his red eye. They were all outside, having surrounded them. There was no easy escape without being exposed.

"I can feel the sensory type. He knows we're here. I think he works for Orochimaru." She breathed.

He felt his blood grow cold. If there was a man the elite ninja truly feared it was Orochimaru. Kakashi let out a harsh breath. This was way more serious than he had expected. If Orochimaru was out there, they were both dead.

"Can you fight?" He asked her, meeting her eyes.

"Of course. But it'll be on the brink of consciousness." She responded.

Kakashi starred at her in all seriousness, savoring every detail about her.

"If Orochimaru appears, I beg you, leave without me or we are both doomed."

Her face was close to his, her eyes wide and liquid as his words sank in.

"I will never abandon a comrade!" She hissed through gritted teeth, scowling at him as if he had offended her. It was his own words she now used against him.

He sighed and took her by her other arm, both their bodies tense. He wanted to scold her, wanted to tell her to do as he said. But there was no point in arguing. She was too stubborn. He felt her take his hand unexpectedly and their fingers intertwined. She starred at him unwavering.

"I will fight with you, even if he shows up!" The blonde said, her eyes spitting fire at him.

Kakashi's heart was pounding, and he couldn't figure out if it was because of the anticipation of the battle or of their fingers intertwined. Her hand was warm and soft. It took him aback... They shared a moment of silence just looking at each other, reading each other's faces. He nodded at her and she nodded back.

Their hands parted and he created two clones, that fled out of each door. It was as if the door exhaled when it flew open and the morning light shone bright. Chattering men looked up and stopped talking as they saw the two ninjas in the doorway.

In a heartbeat battle broke loose. Kakakshi leapt around Toshi, in one swift movement pulling out her katana of its holster. Left and right he laid about, slicing off the first man's arm at the elbow, cleaving through the shoulder of the second. The third was about to burrow his kunai in Kakashi's shoulder, but the copy ninja grabbed the man by his wrist. He slammed the hilt of his katana into the fool's face, knocked him off his feet, and slew him when he tried to rise again. As he was struggling to free his katana from the dead man's rib cage, a foot jabbed him between the shoulder blades. It felt as though someone had slapped him in the back. He spun and slammed his katana down onto the man's head, feeling the impact in his arm as the steel went crunching through helm and hair and skull. Kakashi wrenched the steel free and sent the corpse staggering loose-limbed until it fell. He was getting excited about the battle. The sharp acrid tang of fear was so ripe he could taste it.

He threw the katana back to Toshi when she came leaping around him. His fingers moved quickly as he performed a few seals and activated his lightning blade. The sound of the electric chakra screamed and flickered, chirping like a hundred birds. He jumped up and used gravity as an extra force to spear a man through the shoulder, turning and slicing the next one's stomach open. The copy ninja spun around finding himself standing back to back with Toshi, suddenly swept in a current of wind.

"They're not that skilled." Kakashi breathed, watching out of the corner of his eyes how his lightning began to mix with Toshi's air current.

His eyes widened. How could he have forgotten that 'technique'? Toshi had, obviously, when she leapt away and the remaining lightning hanging in midair like a thin blue veil sputtered and crackled and disappeared. He thrust his hand into the knee of someone coming from his back. Quick as he was, his sharingan scanned the field of dead or limping men. A ninja was with an short katana loomed before Toshi, swinging his sword as he howled in wordless fury. She raised her arm protector and blocked his blow, then shoved in close to gut him with her katana and left him to drown in his own blood. One of them was running through the forest. An instinct urged him to follow, but when he registered Toshi's battered state, he faltered and and went to her instead.

"We need to get out of here. I can't afford to follow the sensory ninja, although he could provide good information. He knows that Konoha sent you now." He helped Toshi up by her arm when she was resting on one knee, panting hard with sweat trickling down her brow.

"Right." She breathed and allowed him to offer support.

He treated her as carefully as he could while still trying to keep a steady pace. She needed a hospital and she needed it now.

.

Kakashi had always hated hospitals. The smell, the colors and the noises; nothing suited him. Yet he was sitting in a chair beside Toshi's bed in the hospital, waiting for her to wake up. Anesthetics had only been used on her to clean the wounds and stitch them up, still he wanted to be there when she woke up. He hadn't notified anyone yet. Not Gai or her herb-store-family, not even the hokage yet, although he had a feeling the old man already knew.

He kept replaying the events over and over in his head. Seeing her writhe in pain, their fingers intertwining and all the emotional patterns erupting in him. The copy ninja brushed a hand over his face frustrated and afterwards patted his finger repeatedly against the armrest.

The thought of how he felt when he realized the connection to Orochimaru simply disturbed him a lot. He would've died for Toshi back then because the thought of outliving yet another close friend was unbearable. The thought of not walking around the streets wondering if he would bump into her or feel that magnetic attraction that was without comparison - was devastating.

The grey haired man jerked when the girl stirred. A sound escaped her mouth and her hands stirred upward. She was having a dream he realized. He leaned forward and watched her as she tossed her head to the side, whimpering something. Her legs jerked and she tossed her head again.

"Rin." She muttered.

Kakashi got up from his seat when he found out she was dreaming one of his memories.

"Toshi." He shook her gently but it didn't work.

"Toshi." This time he shook her harder.

He flinched away when she jerked upright with a loud gasp, pulling wires and monitors with her. She grabbed the wrist of her hand like it was its own living thing and looked at it wide eyed.

"My fingers." She breathed, moving her fingers to see if they were working.

"Your fingers are still there, except the tip of your pinky." He assured her.

It was then she seemed to realize that he was standing next her. She let out a deep sigh and looked up at him.

"You're still here." She breathed and took a hand to her face.

"Yeah I wanted to make sure you woke up properly. You were having a bad dream." He said.

She fell back in the bed and held up her hand to study her shortened finger.

"Yeah, I dreamt someone chopped off all my fingers." She said as a sad look passed her eyes.

It was a beginning of post-traumatic stress he thought but didn't say it out loud.

"You're safe here. No one's going to cut off you fingers. Besides it's only the tip." He said and sat down in the chair again.

The blond was quiet for a moment, still looking at her hand like it was something foreign. Then she looked at Kakashi thoughtfully.

"What?" He asked, returning the glance.

"You look tired. You should go to bed." She said.

He hadn't expected her to care about his needs at the moment, and blinked at what she said. He hadn't slept much, that was true.

"Yes, when I'm sure you're alright." He retaliated.

"I am already." She said, looking groggy and tired.

"I'm not that convinced." He responded.

She sighed and looked at the ceiling and rubbed her eyes.

"Thank you for helping me." She said "I could've made it without you though."

"I doubt that. You were battered and your Root boyfriend was only a burden to you." He said. It wasn't supposed to come out that harsh but it did.

She frowned at him "He's not my boyfriend! And yes I was battered, but I would've found a way."

Kakashi grew frustrated for some reason. She was being selfish and she had no idea how worried he had been. She had no idea how he had felt at the Fire Maiden. He clenched his fist. Of course she didn't know, he rarely showed her his actual emotions.

"That is why you can't slip up!" He said cooly "There are people who care about you know, people who will do anything to make sure you're okay."

She looked startled at his outburst. His eyes drifted to her new ANBU tattoo and then he grew more angry.

"I'm sorry. I didn't think about it that way." She muttered as if she was embarrassed.

The elite ninja pinched the bridge of his nose. He couldn't remember the last time someone had given him such emotional roller coaster rides. He met her green eyes and felt his anger lessen. How could he be mad at her? It was almost impossible. Now he just wanted to comfort her. She had just lost the tip of her finger and woken up.

"I'm sorry I didn't meant to snap at you. I guess I am tired." He responded. A headache was starting to form in his head.

Someone knocked at the door, relieving both of them the odd tension that lingered. Without a respond Shin opened the door and peeped inside a look of guilt plastered all over his face. Kakashi pitied him and disliked him and the same time. Toshi sat up immediately.

"Get out!" She said a threatening undercurrent hidden in her voice.

"I just wanted to talk with you and see if you were okay." Now he looked even guiltier. Kakashi remained completely passive.

"I'm okay now so you can leave!" She hissed at him, her eyes seeming to burning a hole in his skull.

"C-can we maybe talk in private?" His eyes flickered to Kakashi who just stared back.

"I told you to leave!" Toshi's voice was starting to grow higher.

"Please." Shin begged.

The Root couldn't be more submissive and pathetic Kakashi thought to himself and looked at Toshi. She sighed frustrated and rolled her eyes.

"Fine!" She answered.

Kakashi reluctantly took that as his cue and got up from the chair, on his way past Shin muttering a 'good luck', cause the guy needed it.

He leaned against the wall in the hallway, just in hearing distance. Shin would be eaten alive in there.

"It was for my own and your safety I kept my identity a secret." He heard the Root say in a muffled voice through the door.

"I don't care! You lied to me. Just stay out of my life from now on!" The blonde shouted at him.

"But Toshi I'll do anyth-"

"I don't care! What is you don't understand?! Just stay away from me!"

Kakashi could hear her light footsteps across the floor and grew tense. She was in his face now.

"If I ever see you again I'll send a tornado of wind such as the world has never seen, on every roof, on every field, until there nothing left of you or me. I'll send my cats, I'll send every sword of every town against you." She shouted at him.

Kakashi wanted to flinch away. He had never heard her so mad before and he wondered why the man wasn't dead yet. If he ever awakened her wrath like that, he had reason to be scared. He inclined his head towards the door when a silence followed.

"You hurt me Shin!" Her voice cracked "You really hurt me."

He closed his eyes and clenched his jaw. Her tone was so full of pain it was like it cut deep into him, so deep he wanted to just leave and pretend he never heard the conversation. Most of all he just wanted to punch Shin the jaw.

"You have the mark on your tongue, don't you?" She scoffed, only a moment of weakness was all Shin could get out of her.

"You have the mark too." Shin retaliated offended.

"Mine does not restrict me!" The blond shouted, her temperament rising once again.

"So what?! It's what it stand for! Why do you have so much against Root anyway?!" Kakashi could hear the rising frustration in Shin's voice too.

"I don't know-"She answered wryly- "maybe the fact that everything your organization stands for is morally incorrect!"

"Look who's talking! Like you have any morals at all!" Shin responded aggressively.

Kakashi pinched the bridge of his nose. He hated ANBU Root discussions, and right now they were building a war zone inside that room.

"Of course I have morals, maybe not ethically correct morals, but I have them and they are surely a lot better than any Root member's!" She snapped.

"You don't know anything! How can you speak about ethics and morals, when you basically have none?! You're Toshi - the white lioness, incapable of love or anything other than killing."

That sentence made Kakashi's body stiffen. It wasn't fair to tell her that, not with all that she worked for. It was time to budge in.

"And you're Root, trained to have no emotions at all. You're a really good actor Shin, I must give you that." She huffed mockingly at him.

Kakashi stopped when he was about to take the doorknob, surprised that Shin's sentence didn't course her to go on a rampage. Rather she just threw it right back at his face. The copy ninja scratched his nose awkwardly when a nurse gave him and odd look.

That was a surprise. He didn't have to be afraid that she would blow up by the smallest of things anymore. He moved back to the wall, feeling oddly amused. Not moments after Shin came rushing out the door, slamming it hard again. The grey haired man looked as the Root disappeared down the hallways, thinking to himself that the girl had seriously messed with the Root's brain. He was acting most un-Rootly.

He peeped inside the door, and saw the girl sitting on her bed towards the window.

"You knew he was Root, didn't you?" She muttered darkly.

The copy ninja immediately regretted that he didn't leave the building while he had the chance.

"Yup." He answered bluntly, trying to ease this conversation as much as he could.

She hunched over as if she was embarrassed and rubbed her face frustrated.

"How could I not see? All the signs where there." She responded after a moment.

"That's why they're so good at what they do." He mused and walked around the bed, daring to face her.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She asked, peeping up at him.

He found himself slightly startled at the hurt expression she was wearing and decided to sit down beside her.

"I wanted you to figure it out yourself. Even people you seem close to can be deceitful. You never experienced any real friends before in your life, so the lesson was entirely up to you."

She bowed over and hid her face in her hands with a deep sigh. He didn't like seeing her like that, but this was just another lesson in life.

"You really put him in his place though." He said jokingly and nudged her in the side.

Her green eyes peered up at him, a smile tugging in the corner of her lips.

"I did, right?" She responded proudly.

Kakashi's senses picked up on a nurse about to open the door, before he heard the actual clicking of the doorknob. Nurses had a distinct chakra anyone could recognize from afar.

"Visiting hours are over." A small plump nurse said politely.

"Okay, I'll see you around alright?" He muffled her long hair.

"Right." She smiled at him and started tugging up under the covers.

He left the hospital with a strange impression about what he witnessed. Shin had seriously misunderstood Toshi if he really thought she was incapable of love and only wanted to kill. The feline girl had developed a lot... A lot more than he had expected. She was becoming a fine young woman.

.

Kakashi had searched for Toshi for a while now. She wasn't at her home, and the people at her house didn't know where she was.

"She has been awfully quiet since her last mission." The lady of the house - Hana - had told him.

He took a hand to his chin and thought a bit while he trudged down the street. He had heard some disturbing news from Tenzo regarding their last mission and he wanted to know if she was alright. He lifted his headband and opened his sharingan, and all impressions and data came rushing into his mind. He quickly sorted out useless information and found a faint trail of her chakra signature and followed it until he caught her scent ever so faintly.

There, he thought and looked up at a still lush green tree near a busy street. He casually strode under it and looked up to see Toshi crouched on a branch, hidden from street view by the leafs.

"What're you doing Toshi?"

She jerked unaware of his presence and looked down, her eyes holding a stubborn sadness.

"Just watching people." She answered monotonously and looked back out her peephole.

Kakashi climbed the tree and squadded on the thick branch she was sitting on, peeping around her to see the view.

"Why're you watching people." He asked, trying to slowly approach her, knowing how skittish she could be concerning serious conversations.

"Because... You never know if your enemy is lurking around the corner." She pointed to the street "It could be that guy in the stall right there. It could be that woman over there."

Well, this was more disturbing than he had expected. Toshi was extremely paranoid. In this line of work you had to force yourself to relax where you could, and that meant in the city. He should've known that those ANBU missions would be messing too much with her head. He couldn't see her eyes, but she was completely still and motionless.

"You know that you're supposed to feel safe in Konoha, right? You aren't the only ninja here. There are people doing the job you're doing right now." He said and reached out to touch her shoulder.

She flinched and shifted away uncomfortably and to be honest it startled and hurt him at the same time. No answer came. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"What happened on your last mission Toshi?" He said, hoping she would spill the beans.

She glanced back at him in an insecure manner, her eyes devoid of any emotion, if not a little enmity..

"It doesn't matter." She answered and looked away as her eyebrows gave her away by creasing downwards. Underneath that pretty face of hers was someone complicated.

He was a little bit unsure about how to approach her, but remembered that physical contact always affected her much. It didn't take much to get her to open up, at least not from him.

"It's obvious you need to talk about it." He tried.

She just remained fixated on the street, ignoring him. It made him worried. He didn't like seeing her like that. It even surprised him how worried he actually was.

With a sigh he stood up and grabbed her hand. She tried to snatch it away, but he just kept a firm grip and urged her to stand up with him.

"What're you doing?" She snapped icily a defiant look crossing her eyes.

"Come and walk with me." He said and turned to the side to make ready for a jump.

"I don't want to." She said defiantly, although her eyes was starting to become unsure.

"You can go back here when we're done." He said, an tugged gently in her hand.

She just looked at him sullenly and shrugged. It was clear that something was nagging her.

A day earlier.

Tenzo found his old captain at the grave of his deceased friend Rin. His head was bend down. Hands were stuffed into his pockets of pants on long legs.

"Master Kakashi." He greeted and smiled.

"When are you going to stop calling me that?" Kakashi asked and turned around.

Tenzo smiled genuinely at his childhood friend. It was just a habit by now, to call him that, he told himself. Tenzo was wearing the standard ANBU uniform, his strong arms bared. He had short brown hair and dark almond shaped eyes. His forehead protector framed his cheeks and chin and he was wearing two belt pouches instead of one, standard of ANBU uniforms.

Ignoring Kakashi's question which was frequently asked, he went straight to the matter at hand.

"I thought you wanted to know about Shiori and her last mission." He said and put on his serious face.

"Shiori?" Kakashi asked looking perplexed.

"The blonde girl." Tenzo explained.

"Oh... Is that her codename." Kakashi pondered. "I'm starting to dread your visits Tenzo, it seems you only come when she's on trouble."

Tenzo stiffened a bit. He didn't want his friend to feel like that.

"Yeah. Well, I was on a mission with her two days ago and - to put it mildly - something rather disturbing happened in her. I didn't share anything with the hokage as she completed the mission. But well, I was thinking that she's still quite new to this and might need someone to deliberate with. I can't complain as she saved all assigned to the mission a big deal of trouble." Tenzo paused seeing his old captain's eyebrow starting crease.

"I know you've been watching over her, so I just wanted to tell you that she may be dealing with some things at the moment." Tenzo added.

Although he wanted to help the girl, it wasn't in his nature to talk privately to colleagues he had no bond to whatsoever.

"What happened? Did she change personality?" Kakashi asked, squinting his eyes thoughtfully.

"I'm not sure. I don't think so. She just seemed very angry." Tenzo answered and recalled a moment that was clear to him.

He cleaved through amor and shirt and turned, performing seals. Square wood sprouted up from the ground and smashed another enemy. They were coming from all around him. He snapped his head around to get an overview of his comrades. A harsh wind blew across the battleground, taking a grip in his clothes. In the center where the fighting was baddest he saw Shiori striding forward, her eyes locked at someone across the field. Her strides were long and fast. He formed seals as he saw enemies coming at her from every side, but they were dead in seconds. At first he couldn't figure out what was going on. But everyone coming at her growled in pain like they were getting their very soul sucked out, their mouths too wide agape. Then they fell around her like flies, and she didn't as much as spare them a glance. He realized then that she was sucking the air out of her enemies, strangling them slowly to death by allowing them no air.

I'm on to you I'm on to you I'm to you on to you on to you, Tenzo felt like his head was submerged in water and the only thing he could hear was those words as a faint whisper. He grabbed one of his comrades by the collar when he was about to give her back up.

"Don't go near her." he shouted, not knowing if his comrade could hear anything.

The man they had been set out to assassinate stood at the end of her line of sight, determined but scared out of his mind. He knew he was going to die by her hand.

Tenzo fought a chill at the memory. It was a disturbing ability she had. He knew she was a user of air, but in that way... no wonder the hokage had agreed to her terms of being a substitute ANBU.

"Kakashi, she selectively sucked out all air of her enemies. I've been going on two or three missions with her, and actually enjoy her as a teammate. But I never knew she could go berserk like that." Tenzo said.

Kakashi's eyes flared for a moment in understanding.

"I spoke to her afterwards and she was fully aware of what she was doing, but didn't want to go into further details."

"Right. Thank you for informing me Tenzo. I'll speak with her."

Toshi's POV.

His hand was warm to hold as we walked down an empty path in a small park. I was hyperaware of the fact that we were doing this in public, even if it only was to keep me in place. At least this time he wasn't holding my wrist.

"So... Are you going to tell me what happened?" He asked.

Gulping, I looked down at our hands. He knew exactly how to make me weak. Tears pricked behind my eyelids, but I refused to let them through. I didn't know why I had such a bad feeling inside after this mission, I mean, what had happened was nothing compared to other things I'd done.

"I don't want to talk about it." I answered and looked down, not able to hide how sullen I felt.

"I'm probably the only person you can't surprise anymore." He answered and gave me a soft glance.

I kept my eyes stubbornly on the path in front of us, recalling what had gotten me so stirred up in the first place.

I tossed and turned, swinging my body to get out of the robes. Two men laughed mockingly and one of them kicked me in the ribs. A silent groan escaped my mouth.

"When will you get it? The more you use your chakra the more the robe will absorb."

One of them took a grip of my arms, bound behind my back, and pulled, forcing me to stand up. These were criminals, working yet for an unknown partner who was gathering information about Konoha. My position was unfortunate as I had messed up and was knocked in the head and passed out, by the man now hovering in front of me. It was such a mess up that the embarrassment was worse than my current treatment.

"I wonder how we should get you to talk." He said and smirked. His nose was crooked like it had been broken too many times.

My ANBU mask lay on the ground, the blank face of a red and white cat staring up at me. The man pulled out a kunai. I steadied my breath and remained calm, knowing that I was in for a round of torture, and wondered when my teammates was going to find me.

He held the blade up to my neck and let it trail down to the thick grey strops of my ANBU flack jacket. He sawed both over and my jacket fell to the ground.

"Look look. Not only pretty, she does have some pretty tits hidden under all that amor." both of them laughed loudly.

Anger flared up in me and I squirmed to get out of the other mans grasp.

"Oh did that offend you?" He said cheekily and let his eyes drop to my breasts again.

The black top I wore underneath was tight and didn't leave much to the imagination. The man with the kunai reached out and squeezed on of my breasts, the look in his eyes turning hungry. It was so offending, so wrong, that Eien's chakra simply surged wildly through me, leaving unable to focus properly. Another hand took my other breast and squeezed.

"Pretty good tits, maybe a bit too small for my liking. Look she's even turned on by it." He said and leered at the man behind me, he pulled me closer.

My panting wasn't - obviously - not from being turned on, but from the surge of chakra running through me. I didn't even bother to fight it. These two were dead men.

I dropped to the ground when the man behind me was struck down by shurikens. The one in front of me, the leader obviously, backed away and started calling for his men. After that the only thing I could think off was finding that son of a bitch and end his miserable life.

I clenched my teeth at the thought of those nasty fingers on my breasts! I felt dirty and violated, even though I know I shouldn't. A man squeezing one's breasts was nothing compared to a forceful kiss. The only difference was that I was helpless, not able to do anything about the groping. I fought hard to keep my expression neutral, but it was useless. Kakashi holding my hand went straight into my heart.

"The-they touched me!" I spat, hearing my own voice tremble.

"Wait what?" Kakashi stopped me and spun me gently to look at him.

It was so embarrassing I couldn't even look him in the eyes. A hard knob manifested itself in my stomach.

"Toshi?" He inclined his head to catch my eyes. I just turned my head more.

"I was captured and bound in chakra absorbing robes." I managed to say, trying to swallow the lump in my throat.

He was silent, his eyes burning a hole in me. I glanced up, all humor and nonchalance drained from his eyes. His expression send a chill through me and I blinked. It probably wasn't what he had expected.

"They touched my breasts... A lot." I managed to say, gulping again to hold back the hysteria and tears.

Kakashi looked like a wolf silently towering over me. The look he had reminded me of ANBU-Kakashi - as I like to call his cold expression. It surprised me to see him react that way.

"And they're dead now I suppose." He said dryly.

"Yeah, I killed them." I responded.

Kakashi just stared at me, and it made me that much more self-conscious. I released his hand and rubbed my shoulders like it was cold outside. Mostly I was just feeling sorry for myself. There was a deep burning in his eyes. A burning that would make me blush if I wasn't in such a bad mood. He reached out and took me wrist. I refused to remove my hands from arms and tensed up.

Instead he just pulled me close, and embraced me in a hug. At first I was startled, unable to think straight. It wasn't common to comfort each other because of a bad mission, and getting comfort from Kakashi Hatake was even less than common. I pulled myself against his chest, wrapping my arms around him. My fingers skimmed the muscles of his back. To think this was the same man who wanted nothing to do with me in the start. He touched the small of my back, pressed me closer and smoothed his other hand over my hair. I felt small again and squeezed my eyes shot. Heat swelled up in my eyes at the understanding he was giving me. When I blinked, a tear slipped out and I covered my mouth in his shirt to stifle a sob.

"I'm not really good at comforting people." Kakashi muttered in my ear after a moment "And I can't undo what has been done. Men will always underestimate you, and their pride will make them want to vanquish you quickly. I hope you know that far from all men a like that though." He said and squeezed me a bit.

A laugh bubbled in my stomach hysterically. It flopped in my mouth, strained and gurgling.

"I know that." I muffled into his shirt. "I don't even know why I'm reacting this way. I guess it was the thought of being raped."

"And here I thought your odd behavior had something to do with you going berserk." He said.

I shifted my head to put my chin on his chest and peeped up at him.

"Oh that..." I responded. I guess I did let my chakra go a little wild.

"Yes, I heard you used a new technique."

"Well, it wasn't anything I considered much. After becoming in such a good shape as I am now, it just kind of happened." I replied and shrugged in his arms.

"So it wasn't Eien's doing?" He asked. I felt how carefully he approached this subject.

"No. Lately, it's almost like she's gone, only her chakra remains. But I know she's there." I pondered, wondering how long it was appropriate to stand in this hug.

I could hear Kakashi's heartbeat, steady and slow. I felt his chest rise and fall and wanted to stay in this embrace forever. Then he pulled away, still holding my shoulders and looked down at me.

"I suppose that's good. That's quite a dangerous technique. A lot of your techniques could potentially harm you teammates, if you're not in control." He said.

"I know that. I only use those in open combat, although this time it was just an instinct. I'm not sure I can do it again."

I looked up and squirmed away. I felt like he was pitying me and it was only as much as my pride could stand. Kakashi didn't even have to say what he was thinking. I could see it in his eyes that he wanted me to train and perfect that side of myself, and he knew I knew.

Our conversation took us home to the herb-shop where we settled on the roof. It was nice to talk things out with somebody, I realized.

Kakashi's POV.

"Didn't you share any of this with Kenshin?" He asked her.

If there was a question on his mind, this one had been lingering the most. If they had been dating, she should've spoken at least to him about such things.

"Sometimes. But... He didn't help. I couldn't relax around him as much as I want to." She explained and put her chin in her hand, scouting the streets indifferently.

Kakashi's brow creased downwards as he wondered why exactly she had kept him around. The blond girl grasped the fabric of her shirt by her heart, suddenly looking tense.

"It's like I need someone to numb the pain." Her voice had a painful soft edge to it, like she was doing her best to hide it.

"What pain?" Kakashi asked, still not able to catch her eyes.

"The pain right here." Her hand tightened around the fabric, a painful look crossing her eyes.

The copy ninja felt a longing, a deep longing to help her and take the pain away. But he didn't know how to.

"You must know it as well. That kind of pain that makes you feel empty inside. It mostly comes after bad missions." She added.

Kakashi clutched the fabric by his heart like she was doing, and looked ahead. Yes, he knew that feeling all too well. The elite ninja scooted closer to the young girl. If he could just get over himself, he could comfort her. But something in him was still reluctant to let her that close, no matter how good it felt. Even the hug he had given her before was way out of his comfort zone.

But he liked her... He liked her a lot. Maybe in love... It wasn't as though it was something he really dwelt on and considered much at all. In a way... It was something that his subconscious mind had always just accepted, even though he'd been oblivious to the fact.

"Trust me. Your friends can help you filling the empty space. You just have to let them in." He said, letting go of his shirt and clenched his fist instead, somehow mad at himself for not being quite able to take his own advice.

"That coming from you." She smirked and gave him a sideways glance.

He chuckled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck. She knew him too well. Her smile faltered immediately after and she looked back into the street.

"I never knew there was a place like the land of rain." Her green eyes grew distant like she was recalling a bad memory.

"It's like a post-war wasteland with ruins everywhere and orphan starved children with swollen bellies, hiding in the shadows." She muttered. "Occasionally I find corpses lying around, though the stink reveals their location long before. Swollen in death, with faces gnawed and rotten, they all look the same."

He fought a shiver, her description calling forth different memories. Kakashi's onyx eye studied her side-profile. He'd been there a lot of times and the land was less than hospitable. The land of rain had been a battlefield between the great countries for centuries. Amegakure, the village hidden in rain was a newer edition to the land, risen from the ashes of a broken country that had once been a battlefield.

"When the rich wage war it's the poor who dies." Kakashi responded.

She had figured that out, he could tell, and she was feeling bad about it. The blond girl was too curious for her own good. The world contained so many dirty secrets and she was becoming a part of those secrets and now had to deal with them.

"And here I sit in a prosperous strong village, complaining about my job, which I choose voluntary." She answered.

"Well, we're all masters of our own existence. You're free to fight for what you want." He said, hoping that he wasn't offering her too much freedom. The thought of her leaving the village sent a surge of strange emotions through him.

"I wonder who and what can change the world for the better. I don't feel like I have the power to do that." She answered.

They both watched as Naruto walked by in the street with a bag full of instant ramen. The blonde hyperactive boy was training hard for the chuunin exams and Kakashi was putting a lot of effort in the kids to prepare them all.

"I remember the first time slaying a man with my ANBU katana. He was an outlaw, quite handsome in fact, with a strong nose and deep-set eyes. My katana punched through cloth and mail and leather and more cloth, deep into bowels and out his back, rasping as it scraped along his spine. He never saw it coming. It was an odd feel, to kill someone like that."

Any normal man would've been down right mortified to hear her tell such things, but Kakashi had done worse. He couldn't remember his first time slaying someone with a katana, but he could surely remember the first time slaying someone with his lightning blade.

"Yeah. It doesn't feel good. But that is what we have to deal with in this line of work. That's why it's so important you learn to cope with it afterwards. It's not healthy to sit in a tree and spy on people." He responded.

Toshi shifted in her seat her eyes flickering at him.

"It helps to talk to you. Thanks." She admitted.

He blinked at her, that feeling of comforting her and liking her, rising in his stomach. Kenshin couldn't help her, but he could... Somehow he knew that when he had approached her, but hearing her say it out loud was a completely different thing. Kakashi was flattered. Maybe it had been a good idea to take her hand and give her that proximity. At least is wasn't as scary as he had thought it would be. It felt good, and perhaps he should seek it out some more. It couldn't hurt anyone, right?

.

Another month went by in the blink of an eye. Both Kakashi and Gai was busy preparing their students for the chuunin exams. In between missions I was helping out a lot in the shop or spend time training alone or with Gai when he had the time.

Suddenly it was my birthday. Hana was going out of her skin when she found out. I had never celebrated my birthday before so it wasn't a big deal to me, only to everybody else. As for my colleagues, after much persuasion I was convinced into meeting the other jounins in a bar, to celebrate my twentieth birthday.

When I arrived, nicely escorted by Gai, the bar was already buzzing with people. Above one of the booths a cheesy rainbow colored banner hang with the words 'happy birthday Toshi.' It hang slightly askew, but the gesture made me sentimental nonetheless.

"Happy birthday!" A cheer in unison sounded as Gai and I appeared amongst the crowd.

It wasn't a big gathering, but it was the usuals of Gai and Kakashi's circle of friends, who I had gotten to know better and better as time passed by. Even Kakashi was there, standing up with the others to congratulate me, a hand on his neck revealing how out of place it was for him to sound enthusiastic. Gai on the other hand had no inhibitions on that front. Anko squeezed me into a bone-crushing hug and almost lifted me off the ground although I was a tad taller than her.

"Come and sit!" She enthused and gestured to the spot beside Kakashi, who approximately had been the last one to arrive.

He looked perplexed for a moment, then moved out to offer me the inner seat, being the gentleman he could be when he wanted to. Gai - tactful as always - saw that as his cue and took the offered seat muttering "such a considerate rival", before I had a fair chance of reacting. I brushed some of my hair behind my ear and smiled at Kakashi, a mutual understanding seeming to be shared between us.

"Thanks." I said, feeling slightly on edge at all the attention directed at me.

"No problem." He answered, giving me a genuine smile.

It was a simple gesture to be offered his seat, yet it still sent my heart racing, the way he was looking down at me. Interesting being seated between Gai and Kakashi, I thought to myself to distract my thoughts. At least I had Gai who had an ability to steady my heart-rate just by being him. Whether that was a good or a bad thing, I wasn't quite sure.

Before I was offered sake, gifts were poured down on me. The jounins around me was taking a bit too much pleasure in watching me becoming flustered and embarrassed at receiving gifts, from people I didn't really hang out with. Even Kakashi sitting beside me showed amusement at my reaction. I couldn't help it though, it was my first time receiving presents and I had no idea how to thank people properly.

Anko gave me hand-wrappings to protect the knuckles when training, something one could always use an extra pair of. Gai gave me a green jump-suit insisting I should try it out immediately, who all the others luckily talked him out of. He also gave me a simple silver necklace with the head of lion. Genma gave me quality kunais. Asuma and Kurinai gave me a book about making scrolls. Most of the gifts were useful things and to be honest I was surprised to get one from Kakashi. Wrapped clumsily in newspaper with a massive amount of tape holding it together, I somehow managed to open it, feeling coiled as tight as a spring. The paper revealed a wooden carved lioness and I felt its smooth surface, turning it my hands. The lioness had a straight back an neck like she was either hunting or relaxed, her mouth slightly open to reveal the fangs. I marveled at it in silence, forgetting to thank Kakashi.

"It reminded me if you." Kakashi said softly.

He roused me out of my thoughts and I looked at him to see the hand on his neck again, like he had just confessed something humiliating.

"Thanks. It's really beautiful." I said.

That obviously made Kakashi uncomfortable, and I swore the I could see the edge of his only revealed cheek turn the slightest of pink.

"Beautiful as you." Gai poked me in the side with his elbow, leering at me.

"Stop it." I said embarrassed. At the moment I just wanted to bury myself into ground.

Anko's POV.

As the night progressed and sake was handed out in all directions the mood started to grow amongst the group. Toshi, who obviously didn't like the attention she was given, seemed to relax more and more in her seat beside the two tall shinobis. She tended to incline to Kakashi side, as Gai's extravagant enthusiastic movements left no room for his side-comrades. Anyways, that wasn't relevant to Anko's observation. What was relevant was when she watched Toshi and Kakashi together.

It was the first time ever, Anko noted, that she had seen Kakashi making an actual effort - even if he did it subconsciously - to seem genuinely intrigued with the conversation he was having with a girl. As she spoke, he was slouched slightly forward and turned in her direction, holding her eyes whenever he had the opportunity. Even the red haired girl, who had managed to take a but-cheek of space on Kakashi's other side - was completely ignored, even blocked out of the conversation. There wasn't much space in the booth, leaving both of them sitting closely together. Toshi had to incline her head towards his ear at times when the noise was too intense in the bar, and the proximity didn't seem to bother either one of them - on the contrary. That was interesting. What on earth had the girl done to pull this side of Kakashi forth? Even Kakashi's closest friends didn't get that sort of treatment.

Toshi almost got Gai's butt in her face when the drunk man, moved out of the booth. This left them with more space, but neither Kakashi or Toshi seemed to pick up on that. Her interest peaked when Anko watched them a while longer, for some reason expecting them to subtly hold hands or do some other kind of physical contact, but it never happened. She grew frustrated at that, feeling that there was something between them, even though the girl was six years younger than her grey haired mentor.

"You seeing the same as me?" Gai scooped into the seat beside Anko, squinting his eyes secretively.

"Yeah. That girl has really made an impact on Kakashi." She answered and watched Toshi chuckle at something Kakashi said in her ear.

Gai agreed silently and crossed his arms the way he did when he was either satisfied or thinking about something.

"It's nice to see him act a bit humanly for once." The black haired man said.

"Agreed." Anko responded simply "I've seen him walk girls home a few times before, but he never looked at them like that."

"I wonder what they have been through to become that close. I mean Kakashi's really hard to get through to." Gai pondered.

"Yeah. That's a good question. I guess we'll never know, will we?" Anko answered and took a swig of sake.

Toshi got up and brushed off her shirt instinctively and stepped around Kakashi to go wherever she needed to go - probably the toilet. The elite ninja followed her with his eyes all the way, like he was deep in thought, or just checking out her behind. When she was out of sight, Kakashi caught Anko staring, and she smirked at him mischievously.

At first his eyebrows creased confused before he seemed to realize what Anko had picked up on. But as quickly as he had realized he looked relaxed and shrugged like it was no big deal. That's the Kakashi we know, she thought and winked at him.

Toshi's POV

Kakashi's voice was sweet in my ear when he spoke to me. All I wanted was to close my eyes and let him talk forever, but his sentences was usually short. Sometimes he got so close I could feel his hair against me cheek. He was warm to sit beside and when he leaned closer to hear better or to say anything it felt like he was cornering me with his presence. He leaned away when someone from the end of the table said something, gesturing for us all to move further. I scooted sideways, filling Gai's spot, allowing more girls to join the party. Genma was seated at the end across from Kakashi, happily inviting all girls who wanted to talk to the table.

Kakashi moved with me, until I couldn't move any further, apologizing to Asuma for pushing him. Kakashi kept pressing, and I sent him a strange look, but discovered that more girls was forcing him to move in further. As our shoulder's pressed together he lifted his arm up around me, and the space it left was immediately filled with Kakashi's side.

"Hey we can't move in any further." I tried to shout to the girls who was squashing us into the booth.

My thighs pressed together until one of them popped up, over Kakashi's thigh.

"Sorry Toshi." He said in my ear, sounding mildly frustrated.

I was sitting awkwardly, halfway up on Kakashi lap, with his arm around me. The proximity sent my heart racing, just as I thought I was starting to get it under control. I could even smell his scent, feel his breath coming down on me. And I was drunk and flustered and... I stood up when the girls kept pushing, not able to stand the tension that was building in me.

"Jeez, would you stop? There isn't any room!" I shouted to the one trying to squeeze in.

She just furrowed her eyebrows at me like she didn't hear. I pinched the bridge of my nose irritated and took in a deep breath. There was no room between Asuma and Kakashi now. I looked down at Kakashi, our legs intertwined. His thigh was between my legs... I stiffened at the surge of energy that went straight through my abdomen. That was a crazy feeling! I was trapped between Kakashi and the table and no one seemed to notice what was going on. Looking over my shoulder I saw Anko and Gai looking at me, the only ones paying any attention. I gave both of them a death glare at their smirks before I looked at Kakashi again.

The way he was looking at me, tipsy, his eyes resting at my thighs between his. Well, I couldn't describe it, but for a moment there was no question that there was some kind of attraction between us. Then the doubt came and I was sure it was just my mind that was making wishful thinking.

"Kakashi." I snapped my fingers in front of him and he looked up at me seeming to come back to reality.

I held out my arms in a what-am-supposed-do-manner, trying to stand up straight without the table digging too much into my thighs. I jerked when Kakashi leaned forward to grab his cup, making the table hop. Hands drawn up in girlish horror, the girls surrounding the end of the table laughed, not at me, but they just seemed to have fun in their own little world. A bottle of sake spilled and started dripping down my leg, and I tried to turn awkwardly around to save the mess.

"Dammit." I retorted, as Kakashi was half up from his seat to stop the dripping as it spilled over his legs too.

"Maybe you've had a little too much to drink." He muttered from behind me, placing a hand on my hip as he peeped around to tilt a cup back up.

"That isn't funny." I said.

One of Kakashi's fingers found a strip of bare skin just under the hem of my shirt and my breath caught on my throat. I tried with all my might to ignore it there.

"Toshi! Come and dance with me!" Gai who was suddenly standing up, leaned over the mass of girls and grabbed my arm.

He literally dragged me away from Kakashi and past the wall of girls who cried out offended as I stepped on a few feet.

"Gai I can't dance." I said, even if it was Gai, I was still embarrassed about dancing.

"Nonsense!" He said and dragged me to the dance floor in an iron grip.

Gai spun me around enthusiastically and moved his hips in such a cheesy manner that I couldn't help but smile, a laugh starting to bubble in my throat. There wasn't anything intimate about a dance with Gai, it was almost like the dance with the girl from Suna. Almost! The music wasn't anything as exotic as I had tried, but there was rhythms too and a cheesy lady singing about guys.

I caught the sight of Kakashi sitting the same place where I left him. One of the girls from before was already at him, having struck up a conversation. She was deliberately squeezing her breast together in front of him and leaning seductively towards him. It was disgusting and just plain weird. And no, I was not jealous. That would indicate that I somehow wanted his attention. Which I didn't, just for the record. I looked at the man in the green jumpsuit. Gai was making some kind of flexing muscles dance I wasn't quite familiar with.

"Why're you looking at Kakashi?" He shouted over the music and leered so badly at me that I just blushed right away.

"I'm not." I shouted back.

Oh god oh god oh god, Gai saw me looking at Kakashi. Does he know I like him? My heartbeat went sky high at the thought of having been figured out.

"I can see when youth is blossoming and it is all around you Toshi." Gai winked at me and smirked.

Blood was shooting through my ears and I forgot to dance, just staring at Gai, my mind going completely blank.

"It is not!" I shouted, staring at him wide eyed.

"It's alright Toshi. Kakashi is a handsome man with many good qualities, it's only natural you would fall for him." Gai started making the robot.

"I haven't fallen for him!" Deny deny deny deny deny.

"Alright alright whatever you say." The man with the bowl haircut rolled his eyes and started doing salsa steps.

I had to calm myself down. It couldn't be true I was getting so worked up over Gai's assumptions. Though he was right of course. My reaction had totally given away the fact that I had fallen for the copy ninja. The rhythm of the music started slowing and a new song set the pace. Kakashi's scent drifted past me and a second after someone was tapping my shoulder. I turned to see Kakashi offering me his hand and smiling politely down at me.

"Can I have this dance?"

In reference to Gai and I's conversation, I was having the wildest rushes of emotion at the moment. Quite startled at the offer, I didn't notice I was holding my breath and tightening my lips.

"Sure." I answered curtly, seeing Gai smile victoriously out of the corner of my eyes.

"That's my rival for you!" Gai slapped Kakashi's back enthusiastically.

"Only because it's your birthday." The copy ninja answered without removing his eyes from mine.

The musics slow pace and the deep female voice rang in my ears as Kakashi took my hand and pulled me closer. The song had a sad note to it. He grabbed my other hand and moved it to his shoulder, while his other hand reached around my back. He started rocking from side to side, moving me with him, his eyes seeming to bore into mine. I looked away at the other couples dancing around us and spotted Asuma and Kurinai dancing in a corner.

"Is this your first birthday celebration?" Kakashi asked, glancing down at me.

Daring to look at him again, I fought the bubble of butterflies in my stomach feeling they could burst out of my mouth at any moment.

"Yeah. It feels kind of weird to get so much attention." I answered.

Why was a being such a wuss shy girl?! It was simply pathetic. Kakashi chuckled.

"I figured as much." He answered and pulled me even closer. Our cheeks met and he tilted his head down. "It's your twentieth birthday. Just enjoy it." He whispered in my ear.

Just enjoy it... The words echoed in my head. His voice was deep and husky from alcohol, and it was the sexiest thing I had ever heard in my life. My knees felt weak and my head felt light. I didn't answer, but let myself sigh subtly. I leaned my face away and put my head on his shoulder, allowing myself, for once, to enjoy our proximity without all the thoughts swirling around. It was as if our hearts was beating to the same rhythm, a deep bass vibrating through me. Kakashi was enjoying being so close to me. The feel made me light-headed. After a moment it simply made the tension grow. It wasn't enough.

I had to stop this. His scent, the darkness of the room, his hand on my back, the mood of people around us became more and more apparent. I pulled slightly away and met his onyx eye. Was there something between us? I couldn't figure it out. Sometimes I was sure there was chemistry between us and sometimes I was sure he only saw me as a friend.

Then the rhythm of the music picked up and a new song played. He seemed to smile behind the mask and pulled away.

"Thank you for the dance."

I remembered him telling me that he was more of a slow dancer kind of guy, back in Suna. I smiled, feeling some of the tension lift, but still felt a longing to dance like that again. He simply took my breath away, over and over again. It made me wonder what he was thinking. Even the possibility that Kakashi Hatake could desire me made my insides go rigid.

My head felt woozy when I followed him through the crowd and I couldn't figure out if it was sake or just me being love-struck. He steered me along, calm as anything and I had to marvel at his composure. He swept past the crowd with consummate ease. It was one of those moments where I felt we shared something no one else did.

Our booth was packed with unknown people and I almost slammed into Kakashi's back when he stopped.

"Maybe the universe is telling us to go home now." I joked.

His body tensed for the briefest of moments. "Yeah. It is late."

I cocked an eyebrow. I wasn't trying to incline that we should go home together. My cheeks warmed up again when I realized it might have sounded like that. To his defense - if he took it that way - his reaction was very... Indifferent. I sighed and walked around him to gather my gifts and my shirt. Everyone was busy in their own little worlds.

I smiled at Kakashi mentioning for him to lead the way. He looked down at me with a mortifying indifference, like his facade was exaggerated because of the alcohol. His eye was the only thing giving away the warmth that he felt when he looked at me. The copy ninja grabbed my hand and lead me through the crowd. Was this the next step in our friendship? Holding hands? It happened more and more frequently. It had all started with me crying in front of him. I blinked and looked at the back of his head. Kakashi was much more sensitive and full of feelings than anyone thought.

Outside the silence of a night in Konoha overwhelmed the both of us. The sky was starlit and the moon was full.

"Thank you for celebrating my birthday." I said and let go of his hand to put on my shirt. It was cold outside and the light wind was freezing.

"You deserve it." He reached out and stopped me from pulling my shirt fully on.

A finger skimmed up my arm, and his eyes were locked on my arm. It felt as though there was a charge of electricity between his finger and my skin. Goosebumps erupted in a line up my arm until his finger stopped at my shoulder. He was looking at my ANBU tattoo, I realized. He brushed his thumb over the twirl of black ink, a frown showing.

"I hope you made the right choice." He said, his eyes flickering up to mine.

I shrugged his finger away and pulled the shirt on. I sure hoped I had made the right choice too, but there was no telling what the future would bring.

"I did." I insured him and we started towards my apartment.

I couldn't count how many times I'd been marveling at his own tattoo. Well, either it was the tattoo or just his perfectly proportioned shoulder-muscle.

Kakashi followed me all the way to my apartment, I hadn't asked him to, and I wasn't quite sure if he was expecting anything of me. He was a bit drunk, and I had heard the rumors of his late night conquests. No, we were too close for him to simply see me as a fuck, even he should know that.

Maybe he was just being polite or maybe he wanted to sleep with me again. At least I knew he was enjoying that a lot. It gave us both a sense of comfort.

"Do you want to sleep over?" I asked when we stood in front of the shop. The alcohol seemed to make me braver than usually.

He seemed startled at the question as if he hadn't expected that to come from me.

"Uhm." He said perplexed, his indifference seeming to fade back a bit.

"We've done it before and I enjoy it and I know for a fact that you do too." I said. Wow where did this boldness come from?

The grey haired ninja blinked at me like he had been busted. He was growing uncomfortable at how well I read him.

"You don't know that." He said and scratched his neck.

"Yes I do. Don't deny it." I answered.

He groaned conflicted "Dammit Toshi, you know me frighteningly well. Why do I sometimes forget that?" He scoffed.

"I don't know. Are you coming or not?" I asked, growing tired of waiting for an answer, when I was starting get nervous at his reluctance.

"I'm coming, it's a long way home in this condition anyway." He just had to make it sound like he had no other choice.

I rolled my eyes subtly at him. My confidence and independence was making him uncomfortable sometimes. It was no wonder though, the kind of confidence I had now wasn't the same as when we met.

"I'm not sure if I have a t-shirt that fits you." I said when we stood in my apartment.

"It's alright." He assured when I searched my wardrobe through.

Kakashi was looking around my apartment. A lot of knew things stood around or hung on the walls. Different herbs or books or odd things found in the marketplace - he studied them all with no exception. I held up a t-shirt obviously too short for him and saw him brush the fur cloak from the land of ice like he was recalling a memory. The moon was shining against the side of his face, creating a shadow in the faint hollow beneath his cheekbone. It gave him an eerie look, shading his eye sockets.

Averting my eyes I searched some more but found no t-shirt that wouldn't make him look like a child in a overgrown body. Also I was really starting to feel tired upon the party, and could really feel the wobbliness.

"Sorry you'll have to sleep in your own clothes." I said and yawned.

"I'll just sleep shirtless." He answered.

To guys it was the most natural thing in the world, but it still put me on edge to see and be close to a gorgeous upper body... Especially Kakashi's.

I went to the bathroom and changed into something decent to sleep in and brushed my teeth. The elite ninja had already taken my cover and pillow and was half asleep when I walked out. He stirred and rolled around on his back, obviously blown out by the alcohol. I tried not to ogle at him, every muscle as etched as if it has been chiseled out of stone. By Kami, why am I always such a loser when I see his body?! I gulped the butterflies down; there was something nice about having him sleep in my apartment though. While I prepared a spare cover and pillow I basked in the feeling of being safe in my own apartment with my own stuff, bought with my own money and with a man I admired and desired beyond comparison. I was glad to be here, glad to be alive.

.

The night was dark. It was hard to see. I sprinted through the forest, chasing someone while running away at the same time. The forest was endless and the tops looked like roofs of Konoha. In the distance the hokage mountain was staring at me, watching me with red eyes. Danzo's face was there too.

Out of the darkness black hands grabbed me, pulling me towards an underground Konoha. I fought and lashed at them. They wanted me to kneel, to obey. A feel of dread and despair filled me. I activated my chidori and plunged my hand through one of the black shadows. Then I looked at Rin, her eyes were wide in shock.

"Rin" I breathed. Sorrow and fear flooded me before she grabbed my arm, her face contorting in anger.

She turned her head around, the skin in her neck twisting unnaturally. She grabbed my arm on the other side of her. Suddenly she was Shin.

"I'll punish you for denying me." He said, his voice raspy and loud in my ears.

"No!" I screamed and tried to pull my hand out of the hole in his body.

"This is what you deserve." He lifted a katana up and held my fingers out.

"I'll have all your fingers." The figure swung his sword down.

"No-o!" I screamed and pulled my hand away.

A streak of lightning illuminated the room for a second. I was in my apartment.

"What is it Toshi?" Kakashi's voice was right next to me.

I panted hard and held my hand, feeling the burn of where my finger was supposed to be.

"He cut off all my fingers." I said, staring at my hand. Apparently I was sitting upright, and Kakashi was too.

"You had a nightmare." He took my hand gently "Look, all your fingers are still there, except the tip of your pinky."

At the warmth of his hand spreading my fingers, I realized it had just been another nightmare. They were happening frequently and scared me the same every time.

"Toshi." Kakashi said when I didn't answer. I looked at him for the first time and relaxed immediately.

"It was a nightmare." I repeated stupidly.

The grey haired - shirtless - man looked tired and groggy at the sudden waking. He exuded warmth and comfort.

"Come lie down." He tugged me down gently and persistently forced me around and under his own cover.

"No ones going to cut your fingers off." He muttered understandingly and tugged his arm under me and the other one around my stomach and pulled me close to his warm body.

I froze at his action, completely forgetting the feel of the nightmare. He nuzzled into my neck and let out a deep warm sigh, squeezing me one last time before giving into his sleep. His breath smelled of sake, but I didn't mind. I was glad he slept so heavily with me, or he could've felt my heart racing. I squirmed a bit to get used to the feeling of being held so close up against his shirtless body. Only the thin fabric of my t-shirt held the electricity of our skin apart. His cover seemed a lot warmer than mine and his scent was all around me. He moved his nose against my neck again, tangled up in hair. It made me want to sigh deeply. My whole body was on fire. My eyes fluttered close at his breath in my neck. I put my hand on his arm and over his large hand. He moved it instinctively over mine and then our fingers intertwined. He had long fingers. Nice, dexterous hands, capable of ripping my throat out or caressing me. My heart was going out my chest. This was so surreal I could barely comprehend it. The fact that I was holding hands with Kakashi while spooning just put an entirely new level to our relationship. Friends didn't do this, I was sure. Kakashi didn't do this with anyone, I could not imagine.

Maybe he was listening more than I knew. I recalled a conversation on the rooftops where I told him it had been nice to have Kenshin around to numb the pain that came after bad missions. Did this mean that the attraction I thought was mutual wasn't just my mind playing tricks on me? I didn't know anything about love or feelings, so naturally I didn't know what this meant either. I just knew that our bond had grown different.

If this was something we were going to do every time we slept together, I wasn't sure if I could restrain myself from, simply turning around and put my arm around his neck and pull him into a warm tired kiss. His lips would be soft against mine, his tongue sweet. Then he would pull me closer, moving a finger to my jaw, drawing a line up to my ear...

Stop stop stop, I was getting myself worked up now. I'd had two proper kisses in my life, and I was already doing more in my fantasies than in real life. I'd always kept fantasies at bay, but at the moment, my mind was betraying me thoroughly. Sleep, I told myself. Kakashi nuzzled lightly in his sleep again and forced his knee in between my legs, to intertwine our legs. My back stiffened like a ruler as the skin of his muscled thigh went all the way up between my legs. I panicked at the sudden throbbing that erupted in my abdomen, but didn't dare to twitch in case he would wake up and feel the pulse, down there where - apparently - a pulse existed.

Just relax and be in the feeling. You can overcome this Toshi, you can do it. Slowly and gradually I worked my feelings into calmness. This isn't such a big deal, I told myself, maybe not entirely convinced. I'd just been turned on for real, for the first time in my life. Sleepiness was starting to take over after that rush of emotions. Rain pricked against my window, cold and chilling. But I was inside safe and sound with one of Konoha's elite ninjas. This was safety.

---

This one was mean to leave like this, but this chapter mainly focused on Kakashi's development regarding his feelings towards Toshi. It was necessary!

Anyway, couldn't help but throwing Kisame into this story. I'm a big fan, and he's going to play a part later in the story. I saw some of you are fans of Kisame too, and I was so happy to see that (Because he's so awesome and hot, not as much as Kaksahi though)

Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Naturally I'll be working on the next as soon as I can!