Chapter 8
Cloud
He was laying on Squall's bed, flipping thru a magazine about weapons, not really reading it. It was a quiet afternoon. Squall was sitting before his desk, headphone's half covering his ears, working on his next playlist for the upcoming event on next weekend. Cloud stared at the ceiling, wondering how nice it was to be able to see the other working, that serious look over his face and concentration that was so hard to break. Usually Squall had no headphones while he was doing this, but the twins were sick and had finally fallen asleep. And no one wanted two cranky, and definitely bored, boys to be awake more than it was necessary.
Squall had asked him to come over and help him, since he was busy with his both jobs and the twins needed someone to watch them over in their feverish state. Who else to do it than Cloud? Not that he actually minded he had been asked to come here to do housework and play a little doting father for the boys. It was nice to feel needed. These days he had not been at home much. Tifa was nowhere to be seen, not outside work at least, and his days were busy from the sunrise to sundown. Today there had been less hassle at work than usually and it had granted him the opportunity to help his friend in need.
Cloud's eyes moved from the dull ceiling to Squall, who sat sideways to the bed. It was nice to watch that profile. If Cloud had been any more artistic he would have wanted to draw that proud nose and full lips, that intense stare, that delicate line of the neck, those strong shoulders, but.. he wasn't. Lucky for him, he was able to see Squall nearly every day.
Not wanting to end the nice and cozy feeling but he knew he would have to leave at some point since his first pick up tomorrow was outside the town and he had left his bike at home. The mere idea of going out into the chilling autumn weather made him wrinkle his nose. He seriously hated getting cold. The warmth of Squall's room was making him drowsy and the soft mattress calling for him to take a little nap. Maybe he could doze off for a while.
Closing his eyes, listening to the soft clicking sounds that came from Squall typing something, he allowed himself to fall into dreamlike state and let his thoughts to wander freely.
It was true that he liked to stay here more than at 7th Heaven. Though, every time he spent the night on that damned couch, his neck was killing him for the next week or so, which really made his neck to be in intense pain all the bloody time. But every time he slept in his own bed he was only able to feel longing to be back here, to get up early and make breakfast for the three who actually did live in this address. When he was alone in his room he feared the old habits to lift their heads again. And because lately he had been feeling so much better he certainly didn't want to get back on with those habits. He had been on the verge of starting to flee from trouble and to just blame himself for everything that was going wrong, despite he knew it was not his fault. But he had improved, a lot actually, from being like that anymore.
And it was all thanks to Squall. He had this stubborn way to say everything out loud, if there was anything bothering him and refused firmly to let a problem go before he had dealt with it. It was an infectious attitude, really.
Sure, it was hard to bounce back and forth his home and Squall's, but all was worth it in the end. He didn't really mind getting up earlier and most definitely did not mind staying here long to the night if he had the chance. Few times he had thought that he was burdening Squall, and the twins, by staying constantly over, but Squall had just shrugged it off easily. 'First of all; you're my friend, so I don't mind. And second; we get actual meals for once just because you cook. And you clean and do laundry. So I guess you're pretty much covered. Dumbass.' Squall had said when Cloud had mentioned about this. The memory made him smile in his semi-sleeping state and he opened his eyes slowly. He gazed at Squall who was still concentrating on his laptop. Clouds eyes traced the proud face again before setting on the brown hair. He smiled softly to himself.
It had been amazingly easy to convince Squall to let Cloud to experiment with the brown locks. He had done small braids neatly against the scull so that they would end to Squalls delicate neck. It actually had ended up looking way cooler than he had anticipated. Cloud snickered in silence when he remembered the face Squall had made when he had requested if he could do the tiny braids. First there had been amusement, then dislike and then surrender. And now Squall looked satisfied with the result since it really did suit him rather well.
"Hey Squall.." A thought entered Cloud's amused pondering and he stretched his arm over to poke the chair Squall was sitting to get his attention. "What are you guys going to do this Christmas?" Squall snapped back to reality and turned to face the blond, blinking and removing the headphones from his ears.
"Christmas? Be at home I guess. Why?"
"Just asking.. I don't know what to do myself." Cloud rolled onto his stomach and gathered Squall's pillows under his chin, leaning into the softness, only his eyes and spiked hair visible. "Tifa said she's going back to her parents this year. I guess I'm asking if I could… Could I stay here during the holidays?" His speaking had turned into mumbling towards the end of his speech. He felt embarrassed to be asking such a thing. But looking at his friend Cloud saw Squall shaking his head with an amused smile.
"You really shouldn't even ask. I was expecting you to be around anyway." Squall grinned deviously. "I know you wouldn't let us go starving. You know you want to cook anyway." Cloud lifted his chin enough to stick his tongue out at the other.
"Yeah, great. Nice to know I'm only needed because I know how to make food."
"Well, it's your own fault for being so good at it. You know you can only blame yourself for it, since it was you who offered to take over the kitchen while staying here. So basically that makes you the part time housewife…" Squall snorted and dodged the pillow Cloud sent flying at him. He smiled widely and turned back to the screen of his computer. He motioned Cloud to come closer. "Listen to this." He was handing over the headphones to Cloud who had managed to crawl up from his warm spot.
The song that poured into his ears was softer than he had expected and he cocked one eyebrow at this. Sure, it did sound a little like the stuff they usually were listening, but this had more melody in it, and the vocalist wasn't trying to scream his lungs out.
"It's so mellow. Almost like pop."
"Kind of, yeah. Had completely forgotten this band. I used to listen to it when I was still in high school. It's more old-school than anything."
/Why are you always hiding? Why are you always mourning?/
Cloud stared at the back of Squall's braided head, wondering if the lyrics were somehow directed at him. He did have a tendency to still be a little... brooding.
"I like it."
"Of course you do." Squall said smugly and turned his head and Cloud saw a smug grin placed on the lips. "I introduce it to you, so obviously you must like it." Cloud snorted and slapped the back of Squalls head, grinning.
"Well... true. But you don't have to act to self-centered about it."
"Nah, you just love me better like this."
"..." Cloud took the headphones off, handing them back to Squall, picked up the pillow he had thrown and returned to his comfortable spot on the bed. "You really are an idiot." He smiled gently, burying his face to the pillows, hearing Squall laughing softly at him.
For a while there was silence. Squall was staring the screen and Cloud laying on his face. When he felt like he was going to choke onto the pillow he rolled to his side and glanced out of the window.
"Holy crap.. Check it out."
"Wha.. Oh. Damn." Squall too looked out of the window as Cloud pointed that way.
It was snowing.
It seemed to have started a lot earlier since the streets were all white now, people rushing to get away from the softly landing snowflakes, wrapped in their clothes that suddenly seemed to be too light for the wintery breeze. It started to look peaceful, pretty even, as the town was being covered with the soft mat of snow.
"Good thing I left Fenrir at home."
"Mm." Squall had turned to face his laptop again and was halfheartedly ignoring Cloud.
"I really hate getting all cold and wet."
"Mmhm. I know. "
"I mean, seriously. I fucking despise it..."
"Cloud.." Squall sighed but not bothering to turn his head to look at the other. "Do you want to stay over the night? I can drive you home in the morning if you want to."
"Could you? That would be fantastic!" Cloud nearly beamed like Sora did, whenever he got something he wanted. Squall just shook his head and smiled, it never ceased to amaze him that even after all the times Cloud had stayed over, he still asked permission to do so. It was kind of cute and weird, at the same time.
"The couch is all yours, you know that." Squall was tapping the desk with his fingers and spun his chair to face the bed. "You know I could set you up a check point here, for your work. Then you wouldn't have to go back home just to do that if someone just has entered the orders into the system." Cloud had a blank expression on his face and didn't say a word. "I could set you up with completely new database to work with..? You know, connect the program with your phone if you don't want the computer moved. Or do both." Cloud was still looking a bit lost.
"Uh.. yeeaah." Cloud was hesitant to continue, it already felt like he was asking a little too much, even if it had been Squall who had offered to do all that jazz. "You know I'm not good with computers and shit like that… And there's a lot of work these days so I'm staying up late to update the next days' pick up points and deliveries and stuff and Tifa's not really any help since I see her rarely and she's busy with the bar and she just takes care of the paperwork and I should probably hire a third driver too…" Squall raised his hand and cut Clouds explanations.
"You want me to do it?" Cloud blinked and looked at the serious face that was facing him and into the eyes he so liked to look into. "You need a new phone anyway. I might as well get you a new one, of course you'll pay for that one, so I can create and download the app for and into it."
"Um.. yeah. I guess so." That was about as close as he would get to asking for help from anyone. But he was really relieved if Squall would do this, since he basically sucked at handling the online orders. "Would be great."
"Ok then. I'll come with you in the morning and go thru the system you are using now. And hopefully figure out a better one that won't be so hard to use. Even for dimwitted blonds like you." Cloud was beaming again from the bed at Squall, not paying any attention to the gentle mocking. Suddenly it was much cozier to be here. He rolled onto his back and inhaled deeply. This is what made him feel so comfortable around the other. Squall was so... Fucking brilliant.
"I'll make some supper." He got up suddenly, feeling all warm and mushy inside. Squall merely just nodded, having again turned back to his work. Cloud passed the man by, stopping next to him for a moment and bent over to place a slow kiss on his cheek. "Thank you." Then he fled quickly, before it would get out of hand and make them feel awkward. Tonight, he wanted nothing to be wrong, it was so peaceful and quiet.
Squall blinked after the blond, fingertips brushing over the place where Cloud had touched his cheek, the skin tingling slightly. He looked a little stupefied.
"Stupid..." He mumbled, blushing softly and tried to concentrate again.
The next morning
Cloud had already been up for an hour or so when Squall finally padded into the kitchen, looking rather sleepy in his bathrobe that hung loose on his shoulders. The man was still very much half-asleep as he slumped on the chair and held his hands high, like he was praying silently for something. The first time Cloud had seen the other doing this he had been more than a little confused and had just glared at the man. Now he knew better, and actually had expected this to happen. Smiling brightly he handed over a cup of black coffee.
"Good morning." Squall simply took the mug and sniffed the delicious smell, his eyes starting to open more. He mumbled something in response, sipping the liquid carefully, not wanting to burn his mouth. But Cloud had been clever enough to let the coffee cool, since he had heard Squall moving upstairs a while ago and thus, Squall was able to take a proper swig of the heavenly drink. The affect of it was amazing. It never stopped Cloud being surprised to see how after a minute or so, the other was nearly smiling already. There. There it was. That smile creeping upon the lips that were moist from the coffee and drowsy look disappearing as the brains started to wake up properly.
"Mm, coffee makes me want to purr." Squall leaned against the back of the chair, keeping his eyes on Cloud who was standing before the sink, holding a knife on his other hand and on the other had his morning smoothie he liked to drink before starting his days for real. Squall eyed the knife for a while suspiciously but said nothing.
"Glad you like it." Cloud smiled, emptying the glass to halfway and placing it next to the cutting board where the tomatoes were waiting for the knife to cut them into pieces. "I'm making a small portion of pasta with sauce for dinner. The twins are not going to be ok without eating and you are busy with your work. And I can't be here until the evening.." Cloud didn't see Squall lifting his eyebrow and chuckling under his breath.
"Are you sure you are a man and not a woman in disguise?" The amused tone made Cloud to turn, with the knife in his hand and the blade of it dripping red tomato juice. Squall coughed, seeing a potential threat of getting that sharp item possibly thrown close to his head and proceeded to continue his sentence and save his head from flying knives. "Not that it's not appreciated! But you know, we're all big boys and can make food on our own.."
"Sure you can, but the twins are really sick. The fever has not come down one bit. Plus your cooking sucks." He had gone to check the boys when he woke up and they had been both curled into a mass of blankets, legs and arms, blond and brown hair, in one bed. And very much still feverish. Cloud frowned. "You should stay home to look after them, I can walk home and still make it in time to open the doors." Squall was shaking his head.
"I said I'd drive you home, didn't I. And the boys are sleeping, and probably will be most of the day. You are an angel, making the food ready and we all love you for it." Cloud turned back to his tomato cutting, feeling his cheeks to burn. It felt nice to be able to be useful and he really didn't mind doing this, even though it made him look kind of a housewife or something.
"..." He could have said something, but the warm feeling inside his chest made it impossible for him to utter any words now. He'd end up only saying something very mushy and that wouldn't be very cool. "There's toast if you want unless you want something else."
"Toast is fine." Squall was moving behind him, the soft padding of his bare feet on the plastic floor and his shadow reflecting the movements to the wall before Cloud. He wondered how it had become so easy for them to fall into this routine in the mornings. They would bicker, they would share some compliments, say things that were to be read between the lines and then easily both of them left the house for their obligations; Cloud to do his pick ups and deliveries, Squall to start his shift at the cafe he worked part-time. Sometimes the twins were there too, making them furious with their comments about how they acted like an old married couple.
The thought was impossible though. They just were friends, very close ones yes, but still.. nothing more. He had not one clue of Squall's feelings since he had not said anything, well, all the little suggestions must have just been Cloud's own imagination, and thus it was very much impossible for them to be a couple. Like.. ever.
"Why so sad?" Cloud startled as he felt the object of his thoughts to stand right behind him, Squalls cheek pressing softly against his cheek as the other was leaning over his shoulder to see what he was doing.
"Why do you say that? I'm not sad." He was stirring the pasta that boiled happily in the kettle, concentrating on the task to forget how close they were again. Why was it so hard to be this near? Why was his heart beating so fast, when there was no reason for it?
"Liar." The low voice near Cloud's ear made his knees feel weak. He poked the pasta furiously.
"Trespasser." Squall was so close he could feel the warmth radiating from the open bathrobe and thru Cloud's own shirt. Why does he have to stand there and make me feel so dizzy and.. hot? He was almost sure he would start trembling because his body was certainly acting up so badly, all because of the closeness. He wanted to just stop feeling like a shy child in situations like this! Though, he was pretty sure kids wouldn't want to take the object of their shyness hard and against the wall.
"Smells nice." Squall reached from the side intending to poke the bubbling red sauce on the pan. Cloud slapped the hand off before Squall could manage to reach his destination.
"Oi, don't touch that!" He tried to cover the space before the stove so Squall could not make any more stupid moves towards it and its boiling hot items.
"But Cloud, I wannaaa~" Squall pawed Cloud's back gently, leaning his chin on to the his shoulder and faked a sniffle.
"Oh crap, stop that. You sound like Sora now. It's hot, no touching. Gives you a big booboo." It was rather hard not to laugh at Squall. If he only could turn his face without colliding with Squall's own he would have done it, just to see how hilariously adorable faces was Squall making. So very out of his cool character. Cloud snickered finally, unable to keep his amusement hidden. "Did that coffee turn you into a cat or something?"
"If I ever start mewing, you can slice me with Buster." Cloud could not hold back his laughter as the thought of this ever so cool man making such a cute noise entered his poor brains. He felt Squall's breath on his neck as the other was laughing also, the impact of warm air made small shivers run down his spine. If things only were different, he would have leaned in and rest his head to the others shoulder. But no.
"Heh, don't worry. I'll smack you out of it fast enough. Now shoo, I need to finish these before we have to leave. If you are still insisting on driving me home, that is." Not that he really would be sorry for that, since he had poked his nose out earlier, fine, it was still 5am and supposed to be cold and dark and depressing, and had nearly frozen his nostrils while inhaling deeply that nippy air. He was definitely NOT a winter person. At all. "And a warm car would be more than appreciated."
"Aw, you're no fun." Squall moved away from Cloud, obviously returning to the table and to his breakfast. "If I warm the car up, what do I get in return?" Cloud turned around, one eyebrow raised.
"You get a kick in the ass for not doing it!"
"Argh, ok ok! I'll warm up the car! Please put down the knife!" Squall escaped from the kitchen with a piece of bread in his mouth and the cup of coffee in his hand, before Cloud would throw the knife he held up high. He smirked after Squall had disappeared, pleased with himself for managing the situation without making a fool of himself.
Squall
It had snowed a lot during the night; the whole town was frosted to such a pretty state it made even Squalls heart throb for the beauty of it. Cloud was wrinkling his nose next to him in the car as he was driving them towards the 7th Heaven thru the empty streets. A morning like this would have been ideal for going for a run or a walk, but they had their jobs to go to. Plus, he was worried because of the twins. Stupid kids.. had been running out late without properly dressed. Maybe he should call in sick and just go home to be able to do something if the boys would wake up and need something.
Though the idea was all too tempting, he knew he could not afford to stay a day away from work. It was hard enough already to get the rent paid with all the other costs life threw at him. That was one of the reasons he loved to have Cloud over at their place. The man practically kept them fed no matter what. Squall was not a good cook, had never really been, and the boys were not interested enough to care for such a trivial thing like food.
"It's so calm. I know I hate cold and all that, but this is seriously brilliant." Cloud's soft voice woke Squall from his thoughts. He kept quiet but glanced at the other. "I wish we could go outside the town so we could see the stars." It was nice how Cloud said 'we' instead of referring only to himself. It made something warm flutter softly inside Squalls chest.
"We could go there some morning, you know? When the twins get better and we don't have to rush to work." Squall said trying to sound casual. It would be nice, to be able to leave the house for a while. The autumn had been busy enough to make him feel drained. Without Cloud around he would have surely lost his mind into some tempting dark hole.
"I hope so." Cloud sounded a little sad and it made Squall turn to look at him a little bit longer. That was the third time this morning Cloud seemed to be brooding over something. He wanted to help, but whenever he asked, Cloud denied the whole thing or just shrugged it off. So, he said nothing and drove on in silence that was not uncomfortable but not cheerful either. Maybe it was just because it was still so early. No, that wasn't it. They were both morning persons, so it couldn't be the reason. He really should get into this matter more and figure what he could do to dig up the dark secrets Cloud might be bottling up.
They reached their destination in no time as the streets were nearly empty and the traffic lights were still turned off. Squall parked the car before the bar and turned the ignition off. They sat in the dark car for a moment in complete silence, the grey morning closing in on them. Cloud was staring out of window, not moving at all and Squall kept staring at him, trying to figure what the hell was wrong.
"Ok. That's it. Spit it out Cloud. What's wrong?" Squall said after a long moment of silence.
"Nothing." Cloud mumbled, not meeting Squalls eyes.
"Cloud.. Don't lie to me. I can see it with my own eyes that you are not yourself."
"I.." Cloud moved his eyes to his hands that lay on his lap. "It's nothing, really." Squall blinked as Cloud turned his head, smile placed on his lips. Only thing bothering Squall was how the smile didn't really reach those large, beautiful blue eyes. He hated these moments from the bottom of his heart. He despised the pretence Cloud was putting up and refused to spill the beans. But what could he do? It was obvious something was wrong but there was no way to squeeze something out of someone who was ignoring the help offered. Squall knew that all too well as he was one to keep his thoughts and feeling always to himself. He would not put any pressure on Cloud; the man would only clamp up more if he would.
"You know you can talk to me, if there's anything you need to get out of your system." Squall said meaning every word he just said. Hoping against hope the offer would reach Clouds brains at some level.
"Yeah. Don't worry, honestly." The smile was slowly fading, leaving the Clouds face flawless, emotionless, like a marble statue. It never ceased to amaze him, how anyone could be so damn pretty. He was hopelessly starting lose himself by just looking at Cloud and thoughts starting to wander towards the part of his brains where he kept his feelings locked up. Even in that depressed mood Cloud was terribly tempting. He ached to take the man into his arms and try to sooth all the pain away with soft words and tender caresses. Finally Squall tore his eyes off from the other and opened the car door, stepping outside.
It was nearly pitch black around them, few street lamps gave out their yellow light over on the fresh snow that had been plowed from the streets and was now gathered into big piles to the house walls and street corners. The degrees were still below zero so the snow was light and moved with the wind that blew down the street, forcing the feathery whiteness to dance along with it. Squall was looking at Cloud who happened to stand in the middle of one of those snowy tornadoes passing them by. He felt like the time had frozen then. Cloud was so beautiful, his pale face illuminated by the snow and the lamps, eyes half closed as he was staring up to the clouds above, hands buried deep into the pockets of his coat. If there were angels anywhere, there was one standing before Squall right now, on this cold morning street.
He was oblivious of Cloud's movement and before he could react, he had been attacked with an armful of snow. Squall blinked, wiped his face and spat the snow out of his mouth, it had been open, damn it, and saw Cloud smirking before him.
"You... you so asked for it!" Squall snarled, grin escaping to his lips and rushed after Cloud who had had enough sense left to try and escape his counter-attack, all the time laughing that pretty laughter than filled Squall's heart with joy as it seemed to spring straight from Clouds soul. The street was not wide enough to let Cloud flee far so Squall caught him quickly and tackled down to the ground, straddling Cloud who was grinning madly. "You definitely asked for this!" Squall had his fists full of snow he gathered from the street. He leaned down and washed that handsome face with it, a victorious grin spreading over his lips.
"Wahh! Stop iiiit!" Cloud tried to squirm away but didn't really succeed in his vague attempts.
"Oh no, I won't! You defied your destiny when you had your moment of madness and tried to mess with the almighty Squall!" Squall's fingers were all over Cloud's face and the neck of the jacket, spreading the quickly melting snow. "You must beg for your release!"
"NOT INSIDE THE COLLAR!" Cloud jerked violently and squirmed furiously as the cold matter sneaked its way under the fabrics and made contact with his much more warm skin.
"Yield!"
"Never!"
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO DOING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT?!"
"..." They both blinked and shot stupefied looks towards the door where was a tall figure of a girl, dressed in bathrobe, dark eyes shooting daggers towards them. "Oh. Hi Tifa." In unison they chimed and then tried to get up from the ground, managing only to tackle each other worse and generally were a laughing mess covered in snow.
"Both of you, inside. NOW!" Tifa growled. She was definitely pissed off and that was enough to make the duo on the sidewalk to shut up and try to make a guilty face, not really succeeding in that either. After the girl had turned her back they looked at each other and grinned widely.
"Not settled. I'll kick your ass when there's no one to save you!" Cloud whispered as they got up on their feet, shaking the snow off from their clothes. Squall just raised one eyebrow at this.
"Can't wait."
5 minutes later
"You're telling me, that you were trying to wake the whole block up, 5 am in the morning! Just because you thought it would be fun?" Tifa's voice was dripping venom as she glared at the two men before her in the kitchen, now all dried up and finally looking a little guilty for real. "I seriously never will understand you two.." She was at loss, always, when it came to understanding Squall and Cloud, and their… what ever it was they were doing.
"Don't bother your pretty head with us." Squall smiled cautiously, being glad his hair was still braided and didn't need to be dried anymore than this. "I just came to drop the idiot here home so he could get to work in time. He is the one who started it!"
"So? You looked like you needed the wake-up call! Standing there and doing nothing but staring.. Dude, you were almost drooling. What the hell were you even thinking?" Cloud sneered from the other side of the room where he had padded off to get some coffee for himself. Squall moved his eyes to the table, looking a little embarrassed.
"Nothing." Squall coughed.
"I'm pretty sure of that. Your head's so empty anyway."
"Fuck off."
"Here? Gladly."
"Boys..." Tifa's tone got menacing as the two were again falling into some warped way of talking which she just did not get. At all. And didn't even want to. "Stop it or my head is going to start to ache."
"Sorry.." Cloud apologized and walked from behind the brooding girl, leaning forward and gave a small peck on her cheek. Tifa startled, both of her eyebrows high stared at Cloud. "We're bastards and you're just too sweet to be awake and in our company at this hour." Squall was following the episode before him intensively, his eyes never leaving Cloud. Could Cloud still have feelings for the girl? They had talked about the matter few times and he knew it had been more than a little complicated in the past. For what he knew, Cloud had never said that he was swinging only to either side.
"And you're going to be late for work. Shoo!" Tifa wrinkled her nose, but seemed to be less furious after the apology. Cloud smiled gently and disappeared towards the upstairs. Squall couldn't help but to feel always a little out of place when he was left alone with Tifa. He had the nagging feeling that she still did not like him much. She got up and stretched her arms high. Squall didn't deny the fact that she was pretty, attractive and probably any man would go out with her gladly. He just wished it wouldn't be Cloud. "Coffee, Squall?"
"Sure." He sighed. There was no way that he could resent the girl, since she was so nice and sweet. And scary as hell, when she got mad, which happened unfortunately often. "Cloud said I could take a look at the operating system you use for the online orders." He took the cup she was offering.
"You will? It's nice to have someone around who actually knows how to use computers. Cid really is no help as he's busy and now even less with his co-owner around." Tifa grinned deviously and Squall knew well enough why. He had not been around the garage in a week or so, but last time he had been helping Cid the infamous Xigbar had appeared and boy, had the place been echoing furiously with the two older men shouting at each other insults. Which might be their way of saying Hello, nice to you see old fellow, but in Squalls opinion it was just plain scary.
"Yeah.. I noticed." He had simply fled from the scene as there had been more yelling from Cid's side and even more sulking from Xigbars part. "Strange couple, but I guess friendship, or whatever it is in their case, makes it all possible."
"Mmm.." Tifa was eying him over the table and it made Squall feel somewhat uneasy. "How are the boys? Cloud mentioned something like they were sick."
"Quite sick, yes. I'll just take a look at your programs and head home before my shift starts, just because I need to check up on them." He didn't know how much time he had left, few hours maybe, before he should be opening the cafe and be sure the twins were safe and sound in their beds. Or bed. Like they actually would ever sleep apart. He should just buy them a bigger bed.
"Must be tough. Being a kind of a single parent." Tifa said, her voice full of compassion. Squall said nothing, just chewed on his lips, lost in his own worries. "I'll show you the PC then. Shouldn't take too long." She got up and headed to the second floor, Squall following him. He had never been in Cloud's room; Cloud was always at their place and came here just to get more clothes or something like that. Of course they had only known for, what? Six or seven months now? It felt like an eternity even after such a small amount of time. But here he was, looking at the clean room where Cloud spent probably less time than ever. A pinch of guilt made him wrinkle his nose.
"I guess he isn't here much these days." Cloud had already managed to disappear for his work and the room was dark and empty. Somehow Squall didn't wonder why the other resented at being there. It certainly made him feel depressed just by staying there for few minutes. It had no feeling of home.
"You should know." It wasn't a tone that told him to be ashamed Squall had nearly abducted Cloud to himself, but there was obviously sorrow in Tifa's voice.
"I.." He started but the girl shook her head, leaning over the computer that was placed on Cloud's desk.
"It's not your fault. I should be thanking you instead. Cloud seems happier now." She turned the screen on and waited the system to start up. "We are drifting apart. One episode of our lives is ending and it seems to be sending us in different directions." She paused for a moment, chewing on her lip. "I don't mean that our friendship is breaking, it's there still and will always be; we're just standing in crossroads. You know what I mean?"
"Kind of." Squall hesitated slightly, unsure should he feel uncomfortable.
"I love him dearly and I want him to have anything he desires. I guess that would be.." Tifa never finished her sentence as the computer finished its loading right at that moment. "There. Have fun with it." Squall raised one eyebrow, wondering what she had meant to say but didn't dare to ask. Instead he smiled a little and sat before the desk as Tifa moved out of the way.
"You know, I feel like a kid who has just been handed a toy and told to scram." Squall heard the girl to chuckle behind him.
"Well, that sort of is your candy, isn't it?" He felt a hand touching his braided hair. "And these certainly make you look like little kid." Tifa was tracing one of the little braids with her fingers. "Did Cloud do these?" Squall just nodded and stared at the screen before him. "Thought so. He used to braid my hair too. I guess he likes you enough to be able to touch you like this." Was there jealousy in her voice? Squall said nothing but felt slightly happy for the comment.
"Not sure about the happy part though. He seems to be depressed because of something." Squall said leaning over the computer to look at it better. Maybe it was alright to voice his worries to her, since she most likely knew Cloud better than he did. He had turned on the program and was trying to figure its purpose. "I don't know who coded this program but he -or she- has done pretty shitty job." It made no sense and was just confusing him more, the more he tried to look at it.
"Would explain why it's so hard to use." Tifa sighed behind him. "Cloud has the tendency to be depressed over many things. You wouldn't believe me how bad it was only few years ago. He's like the ray of sunshine now, compared to what he was back then." Tifa was moving away from him, probably to sit on the bed. "You ask what is wrong and he says nothing is. If you wait, you'd better not hold your breath because it will take a long time. Your best shot would be just to observe him and make your own decisions. Then you can try to ask him straight. And even then there is a chance of him getting pissed off and running away." It seemed like Cloud had done this kind of things many times before, so drained did Tifa sound at the moment.
"Thanks. I'll try that." Squall grunted. Tempting as it did sound, he had no desire to think about the matter any further right now and he sighed. "You know.. I could just take this whole thing with me and make a better coding, most likely replace this one completely. Or even better, I could build you a brand new one. This fellow here is honestly at the end of its lifespan. Would that be ok?" He turned around on the chair to look at Tifa in the darkness of the room. He saw only half of her face, because there was no other source of light to illuminate her features but the light from the corridor. Tifa smiled lightly.
"Of course. I think it would be the best. I really don't have time to take care of it anymore. I could not ask any more from you but since Cloud hardly ever is here it would be more convenient to have it at your place." She was looking tired, eyelids half closed and her stare was over her hands she had placed on her lap, still holding onto her coffee cup.
"No problem. When the twins get better I can teach them to use the new program too. You know, they can update the orders and shit so either you or Cloud don't have to do a thing. Probably a good idea anyway. Teach the idiots finally to do something useful at home." Tifa lifted her eyes to Squall and flashed a radiant smile that made her incredibly pretty and to look much younger than she had seemed just few seconds before.
"You really care for them, don't you? And they aren't even related to you, are they?"
"I've taken care of them for so long they feel like they were mine for real. But no, we're not related." He turned away again, to shut down the computer and to gather all wires with him.
Not more than 20 minutes later, he was back in car, the computer tightly tucked on the backseat and him feeling a little less worried about his spiky haired friend. Tifa's words had made him feel more determined to figure on his own first what Cloud was hiding, before facing him. But not now, he drove home thru the streets that were slowly filling up with people rushing to work and other obligations. Sun was still far from rising, which meant he had enough time to check the twins at home and eat something more than just that one toast.
He parked the car on street, wondering how Cloud managed to keep it all together; taking care of his own business, looking after Squall and the twins. And yet that stoic surface never had a stain on it. Like Cloud was impenetrable and kept his worried well hidden. Unlike himself. Squall snorted. Yeah, he certainly would start looking worried and drained the minute he felt like so. Though, they had called him emotionless and cold when he still went to school. He sighed. Squall just didn't know how to express himself properly when it came to showing some positive affection towards anyone. In that, he and Cloud were definitely the same.
He carried the PC with him up the stairs and into the apartment, trying to keep as little noise he could. It was quiet, which was a good sing since it meant the twins were still sleeping. Probably would be a good idea to wake them up and check their temperatures. The idea of having to wake those two up was enough for him to shiver in horror. Usually it was never needed since Roxas would wake his brother up, but dear heavens if someone else happened to do that... Squall grimaced internally and placed the computer on the kitchen table.
There were two things he didn't like; one, Sora's nightmares and two, waking Sora up. The kid was a little too over the place no matter how you tried to look at it. When the boy had been smaller he had been easy to handle, but as the boy turned into a young man… Ugh. One of Sora's bad habits was to cling onto that someone who was waking him up. He flung his thin arms around any body part he could find and clung there like the world was about to end until he woke up completely. Squall had had few times the pleasure of having Sora clinging onto his neck and did that boy weigh a lot when he was limp and sleepy.. His muscles ached from the mere memory.
It was lucky for everyone that Roxas usually made Sora much calmer. Squall couldn't do much -when it was about Sora, that is- without the blond boy, that was for sure. He had often wondered should he send Sora to therapy because of these things but had never had the heart to do it. They were legally under his name but he felt a bit awkward suggesting something that personal.
Squall shook off his jacket and shoes and sneaked towards the room where the boys were sleeping. Carefully opening the door he padded inside, waiting for a moment for his eyes to get use to the darkness. He was used to seeing the twins always sleeping in the same bed and it was no different this time either. Roxas' blond hair was more visible than Sora's, who had obviously curled himself next to his brother and was hiding completely under the blanket. It was good they had each other, in a way. Though it had been more than a little difficult when the boys came to live with him. From that moment on, there had always been double everything in anything.
Squall leaned against the door frame, folding his arms before him and sighed quietly, waiting for his courage to raise its head so he could wake the sleeping ones up. He could still remember the last time the twins had been this sick. They had lived in Twilight Town back then and he had just been living with the boys for half a year or something. He had tucked them into their beds, and had gone to the other room that served as his bedroom and living room, to study. It had taken about an hour for the two to wander into his room, holding hands and looking so terribly sick and tired. They had just simply asked to stay there for a while since they were scared, feverish and confused. Of course Squall had no heart to say no for such a plea.
He had been sitting in his armchair and the twins had simply crawled on his lap, each leaning their head to Squall's shoulders and then dozing off there, each having a fist tightly gripping his shirt. He remembered that to be the very first time his heart had swollen up from the feeling of protectiveness over the two. It had been hard to breathe and he had been on the verge of crying because he was so helpless in front of the boys and their fragile state. Squall had just leaned into the chair and had let the twins sleep and had let the feeling of warmth sweep his embarrassment away. He had felt like a new father, given –maybe a bit overgrown- a couple of children in his arms to protect and to love. Yes. It had been the first time he had actually felt true attachment to someone else than himself.
If Squall recalled correctly he had been only 19 back then and the twins had been.. what, 8? 9? It had been hard for him to take care of the two when he still had to study at the same time. He also recalled that he had made a promise to himself not to let the boys down, like they already had been when they had been left by their parents when they had been only small babies. He himself had never known his mother and knew how shitty it was to grow up in a world where there was no adult to turn to. His father had never been one to take care of his children in the first place.
Looking at the now all grown up twins made Squall's heart ache just like back then. He was happy that he wasn't alone now to worry over these two. Not wanting to disturb the twins' sleep after all, Squall just quietly left the room, deciding the fever measuring could wait. He felt like crying but he knew he wouldn't. He never cried, no matter how he wanted to.
He dug out his phone and typed a message to Cloud, sending it before he would hesitate and erase it.
"I don't know what I would do without you here. Not anymore. Thank you."
It took only less than a minute for his phone to vibrate softly in his hand. Cloud's reply made Squall smile gently.
"I wouldn't have it any other way either."