Disclaimer: I own nothing.
AN: So here's an update. I'm also giving you another one in a moment :D Yay for double updates!
Review please!
20
It was two days before the summer ended and I had to go back for my Sophomore year of school. I stared at my ceiling. This summer had been confusing. I hadn't seen Ashley that much but I couldn't stop thinking about her. It was driving me insane. I rolled over and sighed glancing at my clock. 9am. I couldn't stay here today so I grabbed my cellphone and dialed Carmen.
"Umf," came the reply when she answered.
"Did I wake you?" I asked.
"A bit, it's summer Spence; you're supposed to cherish the hours and sleep until noon," she groaned.
"I was just thinking," I said.
"You're also supposed to shut off your brain during the summer and succumb to teenage stupidity," she said sounding more awake.
"Haha, you're hilarious. Listen can we hang today please? I just have a lot on my mind," I said. She was quiet for a moment, maybe she could tell I was desperate.
"Sure, meet at the beach in an hour?" she asked. I sighed in relief.
"Yeah," I said and hung up. I threw back the covers and slid out of my bed. I walked over to my mirror and made a face as I observed myself.
"Why?" I asked. I sighed and moved to my bathroom to shower. I relished in the feel of the water hitting my skin, I turned up the heat almost to the point of burning as I washed. I finished and brushed my hair slowly.
"Glen," I said knocking on his bedroom door.
"Yeah," he answered and I opened it to see him doing push ups. He's been on a fitness brigade for the last month of summer to get ready for a new basketball season.
"Drive me to the beach? I'm meeting Carm," I said.
"Yeah sure," he said standing up. I was surprised. Usually Glen puts up a fight whenever I ask him to drive me anywhere but agreed surprisingly quick. He must have had plans already.
"I'm meeting Aid at the park for a pickup game anyway," he clarified. I knew it.
"Ok, let's go." We yelled goodbye to Dad and hopped into Glen's car for the five minute drive to the beach. Sometimes living in California has it's perks. I waited on the bench on the pier for Carmen.
"Hey so what's up Carlin?" she says surprising me as she plops down on the bench next to me.
"Nothing. Let's go for a walk," I said after a minute. She nodded and we linked arms and walked silently down the pier and onto the beach. It wasn't sunny but it was still bright out and it reflected off the water. There was a couple who walked past us under the pier and down the beach. This section of the beach was mostly deserted, so there weren't many people around. I sat in the sand under the pier and Carmen plopped down next to me.
"So talk Carlin, what's up?" She asked.
"I've just been confused lately," I said. She didn't question or respond but stayed silent to allow me to talk in my own time. Something I was extremely thankful for.
"I – I think...I like girls," I said quietly trying to gauge her reaction. She seemed to breathe out a breath she was holding and looked towards the water.
"Why?" she asked. Not meanly, it seemed genuinely curious.
"I just...I know what a crush feels like, I do. Everyone does," I say trying to unscramble my thoughts and she nods.
"And it's like that but I don't even look at guys anymore. I just...yeah," I said.
"You know it's ok, right Spence?" she said taking my hand in hers, "Nothings going to change between us, if you are or aren't." I felt my eyes prick with tears. Behind all of my fears that was my biggest. I didn't want to ruin the relationships and friendships I already had. She squeezed my hand and I smiled.
"Thanks," I whispered.
"Sometimes it helps to just talk," she said.
"Yeah, it does," I agreed. I looked up at her and she was staring intently at me. I felt like I was under a microscope but not in a bad way. She leaned in and I exhaled.
"It's okay...," she said as she cupped my face. I gave a slight nod and our lips connected. It was a safe and comforting kiss. She was gentle and we lightly fell backwards. The kiss didn't deepen but it was content.
Her face flashed into my head and I tensed up. Carmen felt it and pulled back. She was smirking and then busted out laughing.
"What?" I asked.
"That was like kissing a sister," she said making a face. I started to chuckle too.
"Yeah...but an incredibly hot sister," I joked.
"True...but ew," she said and we both cracked up.
When I got home I got out my phone to call Ashley. Talking to Carmen went well and I needed to talk to my best friend now.