Chapter 14

Squall

So. Cloud had done something extremely stupid. Why? Or more likely; why was it pissing him off so badly? He was pretty sure the little scene he had witnessed had been nothing but fake. It had been like that, right? RIGHT?! That look on Cloud's face just a moment before the kiss, Squall had accidentally seen it and it made him feel like someone was squeezing his insides into a tight fist, It had been a face full of darkness of the stormy skies. Obviously something had pissed Cloud off and thus had made him act like he never would, had he been sane enough to think.

Squall was pacing the backstage from room to room, arms folded before him, his mind trying to stay calm. He wanted to punch something or someone, very badly. His fists tightened and he made a sudden stop before the wall and hit it with all his might.

"FUCK!" Okay, that hurt. Squall bent his fingers enough to feel pain but to be sure nothing had broken. The skin was red and tingled as the pain was no longer nothing more than a throb. Had it been the wanted distraction to remove his bad feelings inside? No. He growled and turned away from the wall. Stupid wall…

Squall had to stop again. Cloud was standing in the doorway and looking at him with colder eyes Squall had ever seen before. The blue of those orbs were bordering freezing death already. Not that he would look away, oh no.

There was uncomfortable silence between them as they stared at each other, neither really wanting to open their mouth and start talking. Finally Squall gathered his thoughts enough.

"So.. Got anything to say?" He did try to sound calm and uncaring. Cloud shifted on his feet uncomfortably.

"About what?" Cloud was clearly sulking and it somehow was irritating Squall even more than he was ready to admit.

"Like you don't know what I'm referring to." The comment was a bit too snappish he had meant it to be, but it was too late now. He should just let it all out now that he was doomed to perish anyway because of this. "You could've told me a little earlier but maybe I should just congratulate you. You know, for finally coming out of the closet and in public too."

Cloud was gaping at him and tried to grasp desperately to some sane thought.

"WHAT?!" Cloud finally growled angrily. "Like who's the one to announce your getting back together with your old flame in public! Your boss, to make it even more interesting!"

It was Squall's turn to be at loss of words. What the fuck was Cloud talking about? Axel? And how the fuck had the man come up with the idea of him and the redhead ever having even been together? Of course it was true, but that wasn't the point here now!

"What the fuck are you babbling about?! There's nothing between me and Axel."

"Yeah, right. Nothing at all. Like anyone's going to believe that. Judging the way you two were nearly on each other on the stage it was pretty damn obvious there's SOMETHING going on! Don't try to fool me Squall, I know what flirting looks like when I see it."

"Oh, look who's talking! It's not like YOU weren't the one to actually try to dip your tongue into Reno's throat in the middle of the crowd!" Squall was definitely getting more and more pissed all the time. How the hell did Cloud even dare to say that shit?

"Right, yea.. well! That was.. just because you..! I wasn't trying to stick my tongue into Reno's throat!" There were clear spots of red over Cloud's cheeks as if the man would be embarrassed about the thing he did. Yeah, right. As if he was.

"Me? I haven't done a damned thing so don't you try to roll the blame on me! You're the one who clearly jump into stupid conclusions and act before your pretty little head can follow."

"I saw you up there. You were smiling and standing close with Axel and.. You didn't even admit that you two had been together before when I asked you about your relationship with Axel!"

Squall glared a moment at Cloud without saying a thing. So that's why Cloud had been so grumpy when they had left the apartment. Where could he have learned about him and Axel... The answer hit him suddenly. Argh.. That over-talkative Zell. He had to be the source. Zell would face the evident dismissal of his testicles sooner than he would expect.

"Fine! Yes, me and Axel were together once, but it didn't last long and we remained as friends after that. And the reason why Axel was standing so close to me before was because he was simply telling me the funny little thing called his boyfriend had said and it was kinda noisy out there so it's pretty fucking obvious why we lean in to get our words thru! Happy now?" He tried to drill a hole thru Cloud's stupid head. What a dumbass.

"..." Cloud was out of words and seemed to be more embarrassed than before. If he had not been, Squall probably had never even considerate about forgiving him this thing.

"If you are able to feel sorry for causing unnecessary shit then we won't talk about this ever again." He paused for a moment to take a deep breath and to calm himself down. "And I'm willing to forgive you if you will never bring this subject up again. Deal?"

"..." Cloud was staring the floor. "Deal." He did seem to be truly ashamed of himself.

"Great. Now, let's get home before I'll get more pissed and ruin my upcoming good night's sleep." Fucking dimwit.. He felt like hitting the wall again and knew it would be impossible to see Cloud's face for a few days. What a start for a new year.

New Years Day

Cloud

Grey light was already pouring in thru the closed curtains when a certain blond man, wrapped in warm clothes appeared on the door and made his way in. He sneezed softly and shivered as the warmth embraced him in the corridor after the chilly morning air. The run had not been very good, as his mind was still lingering on last night and the unspeakable stuff he had pulled off in front of Squall.

Embarrassment swept over and Cloud felt like sinking under the floor. How low can you honestly go! Had he actually kissed Reno? For fuck's sake.. please tell me that was just a bad dream.

Sadly, all of it was true and he sat on the edge of the couch, scratching his head. He didn't really want to be here at the moment but he didn't want to be back to 7th Heaven either. It was most likely empty and quiet, even if Tifa would be there. The unresolved situation kept him nailed to this place, no matter how he wished himself far, far away. He hated just about everything at the moment. Everything was going down the drain anyway so why not mope a bit more! At least he knew how to do that properly, if nothing else.

The uneasy feeling grew inside him and all he wanted to do was to go and beg forgiveness from Squall. Of course he would do that, right after his pride would give in and he could mutter something positive out. Which, would happen probably.. not in this lifetime. He sighed deeply, ran his hands thru his spikes and got up. He should just suck it up and go home before things would get ugly as Squall would get up. He paced nervously in the living room, not knowing where to turn or what to do first. He wanted to flee from here, since he felt guilty as hell as this was not completely his home after all. He had the keys and his name was on the door but still it wasn't… You know? Complete move in. And then again, he wanted to stay and apologize the bad things he had done and said, but was shit scared to open his mouth. And his pride would make his mouth say something quite the opposite he was planning to say.

Rage lifted its ugly head inside him. There was of course the matter of Squall's fury. Why had the man gotten so angry at him? They were just friends, as they both always claimed the situation to be. Had the anger sprung from jealousy? No, not that. It wasn't possible for the other to feel that way. The man was cold as a fucking fish when it came to matters of heart. Maybe Squall just wanted to be the one to say whom Cloud was allowed to meddle with and whom not! Disgusted, Cloud made an ugly face and discarded the thought quickly. Squall wasn't a bad person, just bad tempered and too introverted most of the time, making the man a complete mystery to most people.

Lately, Squall had started to feel a mystery to even him, Squall's best companion. It didn't help at all that he was himself so infatuated with Squall. What a fucking awesome mess.

Noise from the kitchen startled him in the middle of his frantic pacing. He sneaked to the door, fearing ,and hoping, it would be Squall. If it was Squall, then things would get either very cold or very heated. Either it would be, it would be very uncomfortable. But it was something he should get thru with. Taking a deep breath Cloud stepped into the kitchen.

"Hi Sq.. Sora." Cloud halted dumbly at the door, recognizing the person standing there. Sora turned away from the coffee he was making and grinned widely.

"Seeing things already, are you? I might have the same messy mop above my head but I'm no Squall, that's for sure. Too short and too gorgeous to look like a scruffy old nerfherder." Cloud wished he hadn't opened his mouth at all and slumped against the door frame.

"Yeah, I'm just slowly going mad with desire and blah blah blah. Give it a rest, will you? I'm not in the mood for bickering with you now." Cloud commented wearily and Sora looked baffled for a moment.

"Whoa, calm down." He smiled genuinely. "I know why you're so grumpy so I won't hold your words against you, even though I am deeply hurt!" Cloud winced a little. "Honestly, you didn't expect no one to notice your "little" scene? Not to mention the yelling in the back room.. should've seen Axel, his face was so red it matched his hair when people heard his name said. Or yelled, whatever."

"..." Cloud had turned rather pale. "I think I shouldn't… go there anymore. In fact, I should just leave, right now, before Squall wakes up."

"Why the fuck would you do that for?" Sora cocked one eyebrow. "It's perfectly normal to argue with people, even in high volumes. Scruffy there won't be mad at you long, not if you go all puppy eyes at him. I know that man so well I'm predicting he'll get down here and won't even mention the matter. He might be a little miss pissy-pants for a while, but hey.. domestic peace and all that shit? Just wait and it'll go away." The boy shrugged, smiled and looked like everything actually was so simple as he had put it.

Cloud wasn't so sure. He knew himself and knew how Squall reacted to him. It was a fucking mine field where he was walking, no more talking about thin ice.

Evening

The whole day had been an insane whirl of snappy remarks and go to hell glares and uncomfortable silences. Cloud's head was aching and he wanted to punch himself for being a stubborn ass and refusing to go and swallow his pride up to ask forgiveness. It was simply an impossible task.

Squall was pouting, avoiding the subject, keeping himself busy with nonsense and all the while looking most uncomfortable. They had avoided each other the whole day until it was getting dark outside again. Cloud had tried actually to leave but Sora had turned out to be a miserable brat after all and had blocked his way out every time.

Squall was sitting gloomily on the couch at the moment, idly playing something, looking like an impenetrable mountain of ice. Cloud wondered what went on in that head of his. Was Squall really still mad or was he just pretending not to care? He guessed it was the latter one. Squall usually did that; didn't go around caring much about other people, unless it had become too personal for him to discard easily. Pathetic, really. They both were brilliantly pathetic with this nonsense.

Twins were, as usual, smiling at the older men, and as Cloud usually put it; it looked more like they were hunting predators, watching their prey from distance rather than just smiling genuinely for something. At a moment like this, he had an urge to punch the brats. Too bad he was unwilling to get pressed with changes of abusing someone.

It really did tear his nerves, to know his own limits and his wish to break them and yet, not being able to get himself in action. He breathed deeply and prepared to say something but as he glanced at Squall, the living iceberg who was bigger than the one that sank Titanic, Cloud just swallowed his sad attempt of an apology. The words felt like they were to choke him. Oh shit, he needed some air, right now.

Cloud left the room, not really anymore paying attention to anyone else.

The cold wind and flurry of snow greeted him as he stood outside on the street and he buried his hands to his pockets. The air felt like a cooling towel on his face, calming his senses. He was thinking too much and overloading the brain capacity he had left. All those wonderful excuses and buts spun around like a merry-go-round on crack. He felt his insides twisting uncomfortably and then he sneezed.

That was the moment when he noticed the door behind him had closed and he was outside. Without his jacket. That jacket where the keys were. Cloud let out a frustrated sound and tried the door, in vain of course. Now what he would do? All the apartments were too high to knock on the windows and the snow wasn't enough moist to form balls for throwing. He cursed heavily and shivered. Not only was he the most miserable person existing at the moment, he would freeze to death too on top of that! Though, it would put an end to his moping.

He leaned against the wall and closed his eyes, trying to discard the cold that was slowly turning him into an icicle and to concentrate on how he was going to figure himself back inside. Not that it was any better there. Warm, if something.

The door clicked once and Cloud jerked his head up to yell that someone to keep it open. The words froze to his lips as he saw Squall standing there, looking as surprised at him. Second click and the door was shut. Cloud had a nagging fear there were no keys inside those pockets…

"Aren't you freezing?" Squall's voice came as a bigger surprise to Cloud, who felt a hot wave rushing thru him. Squall didn't sound at all mad at him and Cloud could only hope this wasn't some passing moment of surprise when finding him outside like this.

"Does it look like I'm bathing in sunshine? Of course I am freezing!" He couldn't help it the words came out as a sharp snap.

"Should have taken your jacket with you." Squalls face twitched a little as if he was again getting irritated.

"Well, I wasn't thinking when I left." Squall's face had 'Do you ever?' written all over and trying to ignore it as much as he could, Cloud scoffed. "I wasn't planning on staying here very long. The door closed behind me and I have no keys." Was that a glimpse of amusement he saw?

"You ought to think more before you act." Squall murmured finally, after a long, incredibly uncomfortable silence. That was probably as close as Squall would ever get of accusing him straight on about yesterday. Cloud shuffled on his feet, staring the snow under his boots.

"I know. I.." The words stuck to his throat again and he swallowed hard. ".. you know." He grimaced at the effort. "..Sorry. For all that." There, it was finally out! He had managed to blurt the apology out of his ten times cursed mouth. It was a moment of pure nervousness when he had simply NO idea how Squall was going to react.

There was silence between them again, neither spoke or moved much in a while. Cloud glanced at Squall standing there so tall and graceful. Well, at least he didn't look so pissed off anymore. Squall was measuring the street, like it was the most fascinating thing in the whole world when Cloud sneezed again.

"You really are an idiot. And a naturally stupid blond. Let's get back inside." But there was no more anger in the Squalls voice and that was more than enough to warm Clouds insides. All the hatred and viciously taunting thoughts vanished with the wind down the street. He was able to breathe again without trouble. Squall was trying his pockets and looking worried.

"Please don't tell me you don't have keys either..." Cloud moaned.

"I'm sure they were inside here!" He glanced at the blond looking most displeased. "I can assure you, there is no other place I would keep my ke.."And then, at the same time it seemed to hit them both. The answer to this.

"Those bastards! Are they trying to kill me!" Cloud spat out as they figured it couldn't really be anyone else than the brainless, motherless, million times cursed gits inside.

"I wouldn't be so surprised." Squall grunted and wrinkled his nose. "They are so grounded for the next century when I get back inside." Cloud definitely agreed but was turning so frozen he preferred to use his energy to keep warm and let out only a small noise of agreement. Squall looked at him properly. "Goddamn it. Get in here, stupid." He opened his jacket for Cloud to press against his torso.

Cloud was too cold to argue with this invitation and dashed forward as he saw a chance of getting his numb limbs somewhat warmer.

It took just about ten minutes for Sora to open the door and have the nerves to laugh manically at their slightly blue appearances. The boy ran off before either of them got to the evident revenge part.

Twins got grounded for the next month and Squall had a bad cough. Cloud, however, survived without any sign of illness, which was a small miracle.

A/N
This is where the story was left for such a long time. So, new things ahead! Don't worry, there's much much more text coming up.. (unfortunately, if you don't like the story) Also I am not the best at cutting the story into chapters with cliffhangers and such since I've been writing about the daily shizzle mainly and that rarely has many mind blowing cliffhangers at all.. So, it's all written in one lenghty storyline and I apologize for the shitty chapterizing! Hope you like the change ups and will continue reading ahead. There's a lot of smut and fluff coming up as things are getting more and more warmer...