Chapter 16

Cloud

It had now been a week after he had been hauled back to the Leonharts' gentle care. By gentle, Cloud meant of course the twins making his headaches double and Squall fussing over him with his own style which could be translated mostly as rude. In the end Cloud found himself just wanting to sleep the slime out of his system. But now, he was up and healthy, well, almost healthy, and was waiting for Reno to show up at the 7th Heaven where he had escaped for the afternoon.

After the New Years, Cloud had had the nagging feeling of something being on the verge of things either to crumble down like a house of cards, or… the things would actually get somewhere from this point. Whatever the point was. He had no clue what the hell was going on anywhere anymore.

Of course, Cloud was thinking about the situation with Squall. The stuff they had said, accidentally or not. Once said, never again repeated. And that was the problem here. Cloud had blurted out only a week ago that embarrassing thing about wanting Squall to kiss him and Squall had... well, he had been so fucking pissed off when Cloud had went and kissed Reno during the New Year's party at Salvation and Cloud just wanted to forget that ever even happening. Squalls comments about them being so close they could be a couple or something were so weird now that Cloud thought about it. Squall never said how he felt. Cloud was usually having no problems at reading his friends' mind, but with this? Lost like a ship in the sea. Squall did always bring up some weird topics but when Cloud got flustered and embarrassed and was so obvious the only thing Squall did was just to shut up and move on to talking about something else. Made one easily so confused.

There was also one little evil thought. One that Cloud was harboring somewhere inside him, one so secret he didn't think about it voluntarily even by himself. Cloud had started to worry his feeling of love, or what he thought was love, was nothing but fear of being left alone. He also feared Squall knew about this but had said nothing so far. Like there was anything Squall didn't already know about him. Except Clouds feelings, naturally. It was ironic they knew each other so well and yet they knew nothing about how they felt towards each.

It tore Cloud apart to float in this uncertainty. And he wanted to punch Axels face every time the manager dared to show his face, damn him for being so good looking, anywhere where Cloud was. Of course, now that Squall knew Cloud knew about their past relationship, it was easier to see him trying to keep the redhead out of Cloud's way. Squall was right to keep the manager off since it was clear Cloud would've kicked that bony ass into oblivion without much effort. And done it gladly too.

"Yo Spikey!" Reno called emerging from the doors, with a huge smile over his lips, hands deep in his pockets, trying to kick the piled up snow from his shoes before moving further in into the room. "Wassup man, you look troubled. Again. Always. You seriously need to get laid or summin, can't stand to watch this pretty face of yours like that! C'mon dude!" The slim man flopped onto a chair next to Cloud and folded his arms behind his head smiling.

"Ugh.. Yeah, Reno. I'm just peachy. Don't worry." Cloud forced a smile over his lips, which only made Reno grunt and drop his hands to his lap, sighing deeply and shaking his head so the long red ponytail waved lazily behind him.

"Quite the opposite, aren't you." Reno said and looked straight at Cloud. Goddamn, was he that transparent these days so anyone could read his mind by just looking at his face? "Go on love, tell your uncle Reno what's bothering ya." The smile Reno cast on his lips was one to banish all the worry in the world.

"Why is it that when you say things like that it always sounds more perverted than sincere?" Cloud smiled a little. "Want some tea?"

"'cuz I'm too sexy for my car?" Reno wiggled his eyebrows and dodged the flying rag Cloud threw at him before disappearing into the kitchen.

After few minutes and digging around in the kitchen and having settled more cozily to their chairs with steaming cups of tea, Cloud tried to find a way to ask Reno about his brother and Squall. He didn't really find any smooth way to nudge their conversation towards that direction but he was saved from making an awkward question by Reno who, after a moment of silence, started to talk about the subject himself.

"You know, that thing with Axel and Squall.." Reno chewed on his lip, thinking. "I don't remember ever seeing them out together. You know, so it would've looked like they were having something more than just friendship going on." He chuckled a little. "I was rather stupefied one morning when Squall was sitting in our kitchen. I lived together back then with Axel. Squall just was reading the paper and you know, being all that stoic idiot he usually is. So I was staring at him and wondering what the fuck was going on and then he just blurts 'I'm here because Axel wanted me to stay the night over.' And I was like whatever man…" Reno babbled on and Cloud mused did the man ever stop to breathe while talking.

"Yeah, he can be like that to some people. Especially in the mornings." Cloud muttered while Reno seemed to breathe in and wrinkle his nose.

"Oh yeah, I noticed! You know the next thing Squall said that morning that he was going out with Ax and if I had a problem with it, he wouldn't really care." Reno rolled his eyes for the memory. "And basically that was it. I never saw them being together like couples usually are and the next thing I know I had angry Ax in our apartment walking around and thinking out loud various ways to castrate that silent friend of ours. So... it didn't last long back then, between them." Reno took a sip from his tea. Cloud remained quiet, tapping the table with his fingers.

"After that, it didn't take long for Squall to move out from Twilight Town and it took a year for me to bump into him again. He has never talked about Ax to me and I don't really wanna know either, you know? None of my business and they seem to have made truce of some sorts." Reno ended his talking and laid his eyes on Cloud. Cloud halted his tapping of the table and looked at Reno.

"So, you think there's nothing between them anymore?" Cloud tried not to sound too desperate for the information. Oh, he wanted to know so much. Obviously he wasn't going to ask that from Squall. Cloud wouldn't have believed what Squall might say about the matter anyway. Which was pretty stupid as Squall was supposed to be his closest friend. Some things just needed a second view. Thus, asking Reno about them had been his only option.

"Nah, don't think so. They might flirt, or more likely Ax is flirting since the he's the little prick he is, no matter how much he is in a relationship at the moment." At this, Cloud almost choked while trying to drink his tea.

"Wh.. what? Relationship? With who?" Cloud coughed. Somehow this information did sound familiar. Now where could he have heard... Oh, right. New Years. Squall had spat this piece of information at him when they had been arguing about... that... thing. That unfortunate accident Cloud had managed to cause back then. Gods, he felt so embarrassed about it still.

"You didn't know? Ah well.. I guess he aint talking about it much. It's some lucky dude from our hometown, I think. Can't remember his name tho." Reno shrugged. "Anyway, to the main dish!" Reno rubbed his hands together. "I hear Tifa is going to move out from here?" Cloud wrinkled his nose and nodded.

"She's selling this place and going to move somewhere smaller. I can understand her though. This place is pretty scary when there's no one else around." Cloud sighed and looked more than a little unhappy. "This means I have to find new location for the warehouse and cars and relocate the only staff I still have. Shit.. I can't handle the all that by myself! Squall will throttle me if he finds out I'm even trying to do it alone."

"Why would he? C'mon, he aint that horrible, now is he? I'm sure Squall would suggest some reasonable solution for your problems." Reno said one eyebrow high.

"I know. That's exactly what I'm afraid of." Cloud looked into Reno's green eyes. "Look, Reno. Here's the thing. I like him. I mean I really like him and I want nothing better than to be with him. But I have no idea why do I want to be with him. I know he would suggest he himself would take more responsibility of the firm but I can't let him. I don't even know do I want to be with him because I'm not used to counting my emotional self onto myself. You know, I can be alone but I've always had someone to tell me what to feel and how to act." Cloud sighed. "Not to mention I don't know what the hell Squall is thinking about me! It's all so confusing at the moment." Cloud was so upset at the moment and this rare burst of confessed feelings so straight made Reno remain quiet for a long while.

"Well…" Reno finally spoke with caution. "Maybe you should get out of town for a while? Just you by yourself."

"But would that really solve anything?" Cloud sighed. Not that it was something he'd never done before. He remembered more than once having to face Tifa after he had run away to just 'think things thru'. And never had it been any easier to come back and see the hurt in her eyes, even when she said nothing. And all that leaving to think things had never ever been in any way helpful. Cloud had usually driven around not thinking about anything.

"I dunno. But I think you and Squally spend too much time together and aren't really able to see clearly what it is that you want. You need to have some new perspective so you can create new ways to solve problem." Reno shrugged. "Also you really need to talk things thru with Tifa and then figure what you want to do with your business problem. You can't operate alone and you don't want Squall to help so who would be the one to do so?"

"You know… You have your moments of almost being wise." Cloud smirked at Reno, who was grinning widely.

"Yeaaahhh." Reno yawned and stretched his arms above his head. "Just don't go and tell anyone about it, ok? It would ruin my good reputation as a first class dimwit, you know?" He winked and all Cloud could do was to fall into uncontrollable laughter.