Twelve bottles of beer on the wall
AN: Thanks for the reviews reassuring me that you are indeed still reading this. This chapter is lighter, I think. Or at least it's based on a really funny scene from the show. Enjoy, and thank you again!
Summary: Hot, young, and dumb is just what the newly divorced Crystal needs. Inspired by the 'Sam-Gary drinks a daiquiri' scene in "Swap Meat."
MILF
Stud-Bun orders a banana daiquiri, of all drinks. And he shows the bartender his ID before he does. Maybe Crystal's been off the market for too long, but Stud-Bun looks a few years older than twenty-one. Looks like he's a regular Matthew McConaughey under all those layers, too. She'd like to see for herself to make sure though, she thinks, as she sucks seductively on her straw.
It takes a while to get through to him that she wants to go…with him…to have sex. He seems really excited about it. Cute. Crystal wonders vaguely if Stud-Bun's a virgin. Seems unlikely, the way he looks, but still, you never know.
Anyway, he's hot, young, and dumb. Just what she needs.
After twenty-two years of being married to pot-bellied, older, and 'I'm your husband; that automatically makes me infinitely smarter than you, you stupid blonde bitch,' this deliciously muscled specimen sitting beside her is just exactly what Crystal needs.
So what if she's now a cougar? She hasn't been single in close to twenty-four years since she started dating and got married to Richard-the-neural-surgeon. Now with the divorce papers signed, Crystal Robinson (no longer Dr. Grant's miserable wife, thank you very much) is free, free as a bird. And boy, is she loving it. Take that, Dick, you cheating, doctorate-flaunting pond scum.
As soon as her divorce was finalized, she'd taken a loooooong bath, with lots of bubbles and scented candles and her favorite music on as loud as it could go. Then she'd done her nails (bright red), put on her make-up, dried her long blonde hair into loose-hanging curls, and slid into a new slinky black dress. She'd stood in front of the full-length mirror—her full-length mirror—and posed with her hands on her hips.
Ugh, her arms. When in the world did they get all wobbly like that? Those look like wings or something. Disgusting.
She'd hurriedly rummaged through her closet to find a suitable jacket to wear over the dress. Hm, she'd nodded. Sex-yyy. She's still got it.
Then she'd turned on her brand-new stiletto heels and driven to that bar on Fifth and Main. Time to find some fun of the young and hot variety. Those young teeny-boppers better watch out because here comes the cougar—hot, and with years of sexual experience.
Ms. Robinson is a MILF, and she is proud of it.