Disclaimer: I don't own South

AN: And we're reaching the final bend of the story. Only a few more after this.

Reviews make me :)

36

I walked into the mediocre decorated school. It was the last day of school before Winter Break. The Winter Formal dance was this weekend and for some reason I wasn't quite sure if I was going or not. I knew Madison was – Brad had worked up the courage and asked her. Now instead of hearing about how worthless she feels we all hear about how great he is. But I guess it's a step up. Glen asked Kyla and all she talked about was her dress. But the topic still hadn't been discussed between Ashley and I and it was making me tense.

This past week had been stressful to say the least. Trying to get all my work in before break was hard enough but for some reason since Ashley and I had been intimate at the party a week ago and now it felt like we were drifting slightly. Ashley had become a bit colder, especially in public and I wasn't quite sure why. Did she regret what we did? Or was stress just getting to her? I really hoped it was the second.

It was my free period and the hallways had only a few people as I wandered aimlessly. Ashley was in physics, which left me alone for the period. I turned the corner to my locker and paused before slowly walking towards my locker.

"Hey," she said silently as she stepped out of my way. I didn't respond as I wretched my locker open.

"I know you're angry Spence, I just hate not talking," Stacey said.

"That wasn't my decision remember?" I asked coldly as I slammed my door. She flinched as I leaned on my side against the lockers waiting for this conversation to end.

"I know," she said and we stood there silently not looking at each other.

"I didn't mean to keep the thing with Ashley from you and Carmen; I was confused and a bit stupid," I said.

"I know. So were we," she said and I nodded in agreement, "She misses you Spencer. It's not the same with me," Stacey said.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"With the three of us, we were all best friends. But you and Carmen were best friends – I'm her girlfriend, it's different. You know?" she explained, and I guess it made sense in some weird way. Like I could understand Carmen talking to me about Stacey rather than going to her. Like she did a few months ago – God it felt like so long ago.

"Yeah, but she needs to talk to me; not the other way around," I said and Stacey nodded. She reached into her bag and pulled out a wrapped gift.

"What's this?" I asked as she handed it to me.

"From Carmen and I," she said and I carefully took the box, filled with emotion that my friends had gotten me something for the holidays; even when we weren't speaking.

"Thanks," I said and we shared a small smile, maybe a sign that our friendship could be repaired. I hoped so, I truly missed Carmen and Stacey. The bell rang and we went our separate ways, I walked to the lunch room taking my normal seat beside Ashley.

"Hey," I said and she smiled at me but we still avoided contact and my chest ached a bit with the exhaustion of the lie Ashley and I built but I ignored it.

"So I was thinking," I started and she turned and stared at me with her warm, brown eyes.

"Mhm," she said in acknowledgment as she popped a grape into her mouth.

"We could go to the Winter Formal together," I started but trailed off because she froze. She was petrified. I could see that. The fear was clear in her eyes, she moved away from me; however slightly. And I was angry.

"Ash come on," I said.

"Spencer, we've discussed this. I need time," she said still not meeting my gaze. I had not felt this type of anger towards her since the incident a few years ago when our friendship fell apart. Maybe I was being irrational but I hated hiding and lying about myself and it was eating me up inside.

"Ashley, I've given you time. I just I can't do this," I found myself saying; not even truly aware of it.

"Hey baby sis," my brother and Kyla came over but one look at Ashley and I and she dragged him away from the table. Thank God – the last thing we needed was an audience.

"What do you mean?" she asked her face broken, almost anticipating what I was going to say.

"I'm sick of hiding Ashley and I'm not asking for a giant announcement but I want to be able to hold your hand or kiss you when I'm happy. Or even just show up at the dance together and maybe dance; that's all it has to be. But this come here go away trip is tiring and I don't want to do it anymore," I said. She was shaking her head over and over, like she was trying to block out what I was saying.

"Spence, I'm sorry," she started but I didn't giver her a chance to finish; I cut her off by standing up.

"No, I'm sorry Ashley. I just don't – can't do it anymore. I love you, I think I truly do and always have but until you're ready you can't keep dragging me along. I won't do it," I said, my heart breaking as I forced out the words I never wanted to say.

"Spencer please," she begged her eyes welling up. I shook my head, my throat closed up as I held back tears. I turned and walked out of the cafeteria noticing Kyla rush to her sister as I exited the room. I leaned against the hallway wall and sighed, pulled out my phone and sent a text message to the one person I needed.

Meet me outside, came Carmen's instantaneous reply.