Chapter 22

Lois had just put the babies in their carriers, finally getting them both happy when the loud, insistent sound of the doorbell ringing riled them both up.

"I'm coming!" she shouted, swinging the door open. "Daddy!"

"Hi, Lo."

"What…what are you doing here?"

Her father hadn't called or showed up since she'd given birth. She knew tough love and he'd been consistently displaying it. She knew she'd disappointed him by getting pregnant from an affair in the first place, though honestly she often forgot it was from an affair. But she was sure that he didn't. He never forgot a single mistake she'd made in her entire life. She was a rebel, a disappointment, but all she'd really wanted was for him to believe in her.

"These them?" he asked, looking at the two twins placed in carriers together by the couch.

"No," Lois replied sarcastically. "No, my babies are down the street being taken care of by some better mother with her life together. These are pod babies I'm practicing on until I figure it out."

He wasn't amused. He was hardly ever amused by her sarcasm. But then again she wasn't thrilled by his neglect either.

"Your mother was young too. Don't know if I ever expressed that well enough to you. And if she'd just…not smoked. Maybe that's why I yelled at you so much about it."

"Maybe if you could've explained that instead of yelling, the desire to get you to pay attention to me, therefore my own desire to start smoking wouldn't have been so high on my list," she replied. "Though, the day I met Clark, I don't think I ever smoked a cigarette ever again."

"I'll get to him, but first, let me tell you why I'm here."

"By all means," Lois said gallantly, but the smart ass tone was still evident in her voice.

"I received an angry phone call from your cousin," he informed her. "And that…has never happened. Chloe has never spoken to me with such anger, such…disappointment. She was infuriated with me."

"About what?" Lois asked, completely surprised that Chloe would ever be angry at the General.

"You."

"Me?"

"Yes. And when I tried to tell her our relationship was none of her business she would have none of it. I was apparently going to listen to her whether I wanted to or not. So I did. And I listened to what she said. She explained a lot."

Lois sat on the couch slowly, rocking the carriers to keep the children content.

"Wow, Chloe gave it to you, did she?" Lois smiled, and then she saw the look on his face. "Sorry, continue."

"After listening to her, and all you've been through with the Kent boy—"

"Clark, his name is Clark, Dad."

"Don't interrupt me. I'm trying to tell you that I'm here to offer you assistance, because you deserve to not give up on yourself."

Lois was a little insulted by that. She got up from the couch, standing tall.

"Is that what Chloe said? That I've given up myself because of Clark?"

"No, my niece spent most of the time telling me how I'd failed you."

"Yes!" Lois said, not holding back as usual. "And I'm not going to do that to my kids. Get out!"

"Lois, listen to me!"

"Why? All you're going to tell me is how I'm going to screw this up like I screw everything up."

"No, I'm trying to tell you the difference between you and your mother."

"Oh and what is that?"

"You're more!"

Lois eyes softened in curiosity. She held her tongue, wanting to hear anything at all about her mother and where she came from.

"She was a mother, and I loved her more than anything, but that's what she was. And she was amazing at it. And I'm not saying you're not with your own children but don't you understand what you have to give to the world? Don't stop now. Go back to work Lois. Go back out into the world, with Clark and be all that you can be. Conquer it because you can. And let me help you. I know what you put into this house, these children, and this lifestyle for Clark. So let me help you so you can go back to work."

"I will never be like you. I'm not going to make them feel like afterthoughts while I 'conquer the world' as you put it. These babies are my heartbeats and they need to know that. I never knew if you cared that I was there on the rare occasions you did come home, and you were even worse to Lucy. I don't want that for my children."

"I'm not suggesting that. But I'm not going to let you waste the potential you have. There's always balance. There are working mothers all over the world Lois. Let me help you be one."

"By doing what?"

"I will pay for a nanny, any nanny you want for as long as you want. It's the least I can do."

Lois was silenced briefly.

"You…you almost make it seem like you believe in me. Why else would you be willing to write such a large paycheck to me for no obvious benefit to you?"

"I never told you enough."

"No, you never told me at all. Another thing I'll change with my children."

He took a cigar out of his pocket and headed for the door. "Well, you find any nanny you want and you let me know."

"That's it? That's all I get?"

He turned back.

"Is there more?"

"There is SO much more," she cried out. "You're my father! You're driving me crazy because you hold my heart in your hands and you don't even see it! What, Chloe didn't tell you that?"

He looked down, his hands dropping to his sides.

"She did, actually. But I, I don't have that much to give to you. This is what I can offer. You have what you need. At least you're telling me you do. In Clark. So please just, make sure he's good enough for you."

And with that, he left her, her heart bleeding for him, for his love that he still wouldn't give her. She took both her babies out of their carriers, desperate to hold both of them and shower them with the love that she would never receive from her father.

XxX

That Friday night, Chloe offered to take Lois and Ellen to a nearby resort and act as a hired baby-sitter for Ellen, therefore allowing Lois to enjoy her daughter, but have a short vacation at the same time. Her days were numbered before going back to work and Lois was working overtime to find someone to watch the children.

Clark knew Lois felt she needed to further bond with her daughter, so he agreed to watch Jonathan while she took a break with Ellen. Spending time with the children independently was important to them both.

On the drive, Chloe and Lois discussed the nanny process and what Lois was looking for. Lois expressed her concern for the possible day that the children demonstrated their powers, should they have any. Chloe soothed Lois and did suggest a strong-willed person for the nanny position, but someone who had been alive during the meteor shower, should they need to spin some tale one day. Despite the fact that because of the Kryptonian powers, Lois considered not getting a nanny and going back to work, Chloe talked her out that.

"You can't not live your life because of something that might happen. Deal with that scenario if it comes, Lois."

Lois turned to the backseat to capture a look at her daughter. She smiled at the little girl bundled securely.

"I wish she was six months old so that I could take her swimming at this place. She's still so little."

"We'll go again. I know she can't do very much, but we can hang out in the room watching movies, ordering in room service, and play with her. You brought enough DVDs."

"Well if you're doing all this baby-sitting you say you're doing while I'm off by myself then you have to have something to entertain you."

"I'll have Ellen!"

"She's cute, Chlo, but you need media."

"Well, you're the one that's going to be sleeping in while she and I are going out for breakfast. You may be the one watching…" Chloe reached behind her in the pile as she drove. "…Ya-Ya Sisterhood, since when is this your kind of movie?"

"Since I'm with my two favorite women and I'm doing the female bonding thing. Hey it's got Ashley Judd and Maggie Smith, great women."

"Lois is becoming a girlie-girl!" Chloe teased.

"Shut up and drive. I'm going to sleep because Ellen is."

"This weekend you're going to sleep as much as you want. I'm the baby-sitter this weekend. I'm on Ellen-patrol."

XxX

Clark took the baby monitor, though it wasn't necessary with his hearing and went to the attic, for the first time since he'd been home having time to himself to roam around the house. Lois had told him she'd put some of his things up there, and he went to investigate what things she'd kept and what she'd thrown out.

Seeing boxes taped up and labeled everywhere, he realized she must've not thrown much out because there was barely room for him to walk. He came across several boxes of his father's things, grandparents on both sides, the family silver, his old school projects, report cards and records organized and filed, scrapbooks, taxes, and in the midst of these he found a box labeled 'old boyfriends'. Choosing not to go through her box, he pushed it aside, discovering 'Lana' as he did so.

Clark sighed softly, pausing in his casual investigation, and knelt down. The last year had been such a whirlwind of events he hadn't really thought about how he'd left things with Lana. He had loved her and truly believed she was the one. And now he barely had time to think about her. He felt that he should feel more guilt, and he did, but the fact that she took so little responsibility for her own betrayal of their relationship bothered him more than he sometimes wanted to admit.

He didn't want her with Lex, he never had, but shoving his way into her life and telling her what was good for her would never work. He had no right to do that. Still, the idea of never seeing her again, the girl he'd loved for so much of his life, didn't appeal to him either. But could he see her with Lex? Was she really happy with him?

Clark kept in close touch with Oliver Queen about Lex, and Lex was keeping busy, but with less and less unusual underground projects. Or so it would seem.

Clark did want to see Lana, he missed her when he actually paused to think about her, but in general, his life was so full that he didn't have time to reminisce about the past with her. And although he did want to see her, he knew it would accomplish very little, as most things did with her, so he didn't feel like making the effort. It was a lost cause, unfortunately. Someday, maybe it would be solved and things would be all right between them, but that day was not right now.

He was amazed Lois had kept his physical memories of Lana. He didn't bother opening the box. He smiled, grateful to Lois, and hoped that someday he and Lois would open the boxes of their exes together and look back with at least…interesting memories. Who knows, they were socializing with Lois's ex at the moment, maybe someday Lana would forgive them.

Clark heard Jonathan gurgling over the monitor, and all thoughts of Lana washed away as his family, house, and life became priority again.

XxX

"Okay, go left, no, your head! Okay, shoulders down, now smile. No! Look at Ellen, yeah, good. Okay, make your face look less strained, no not like that, naturally. Better!" *click* "K, now pick her up and look down at her—"

"Chlo! Shut up!" Lois finally said. "When I said take some photos I didn't say become General Chloe with the camera. Would you take it down about three notches? Try a candid and leave me alone for a sec."

Lois was sprawled out on the bed with Ellen, loving her baby girl endlessly. Chloe was impressed at what a warm mother Lois had become in such a short amount of time. The awkwardness had left her, for the most part, and she was a hands-on mother. She was still bossy and over-the-top, but the coldness was a thing of the past.

She covered Ellen with kisses as Ellen's first smiles emerged over her tiny face.

"Chloe, look, she's smiling. I do want photos of her smiles."

So Chloe took photos of Ellen lying in Lois's lap, smiling up at her mother.

"She's smiling at me," Lois said, amazed. "She's just starting to do that. You think she knows I'm her mom?"

"Of course she does!" *click* "Lois, she's going to have such a great relationship with you. Everything you didn't have growing up, you'll have with her." *click*

Lois gathered her daughter up, rocking Ellen against her chest, rubbing her back, and giving soft pats. Chloe stepped out of Lois's bedroom to the main room of the suite.

"Lois, we got our entertainment center in here, plus the balconies in each room!" she hollered. "You want me to go to the store to pick up some groceries?"

At that moment, Lois felt a tiny had repeating the tiny movements on her that she was applying back. Her daughter understood what Lois was doing in rubbing her back. The tiny hand giving little pats meant love and since she couldn't say it, she was showing it.

"Chloe!"

Chloe ran back in.

"What? What's wrong?"

"She's…she's patting me on the back. She understands that I love her and she loves me back."

It took Chloe a second to understand that. As soon as the sentences processed through her brain, a smile spread on her face.

"Oh, Lois, you never had to worry about that."

A tear rolled down Lois's face.

"But I did. I put too much belief in what my mother told me. But it doesn't have to be that way. I love my daughter just as much as any pre-existing soulmate inside my heart. She is everything to me and she knows that."

"Lois, you are so hard on yourself," Chloe sighed bitter-sweetly, coming to Lois and caressing the side of her face. "There was never a doubt in anyone else's mind that you would have love with both of your children."

"No, but Clark knew I wanted to bond with her. That I needed something, some moment with her to make myself believe she knew I loved her. I need my daughter to know my love. My son, he knew the second he saw me, but she didn't."

"Lois, give her a minute, she'd just been through labor. It's hard on them too, you know?"

Lois felt like Chloe wasn't getting it, and she turned her face away.

"Lois, hey, don't do that. Don't shut me out."

"I must sound ridiculous to you."

"Why? Because I couldn't possibly understand? Because I don't have kids? I get it. I do. You need the connection, the recognition, I got it. And you didn't get that with Ellen, and now you realize that you can have that same kind of love with someone even if you don't recognize them."

Lois looked back at her.

"How'd I do?" Chloe asked.

"There's a reason you're the one I come to," Lois smiled.

"Alright, well the night's still young. Are you going to go swimming?"

Lois swung her legs over the side of the king size bed and handed her baby off to her Aunt Chloe, obeying her cousin with some relaxing laps in the pool.

Later that night, Chloe found Lois asleep in bed, her daughter nuzzled up beside her on the pillow. They were nose to nose and Chloe new Clark couldn't miss seeing that. She took a picture and waited until the baby woke up, then put her in her portable crib, giving Lois the entire bed to herself.

For the next three days, they ordered room service, snacked, swam, dined and drank wine on the balcony, enjoyed the baby, and Chloe did her job as hired nanny and took Ellen for day trips to leave Lois the suite to herself.

Lois slept most of the visit, harder than she had in years. And Chloe found her own relationship with her cousin's daughter.

XxX

Not to far away, an elegantly tall woman sat at her computer overlooking file names.

Milton Fine

Lourdes Lucero

Davis Bloome

Rudy Jones

When she came to Rudy Jones, she stopped.

"Perfect."

~~~~~To Be Continued~~~~~