Five bottles of beer on the wall
Summary: Castiel feels like a martini—shaken, and maybe stirred as well. Cas in the last part of Season 5.
Apocalypse Cocktail
To mix a Fallen Angel, shake one and a half ounces of gin, half a teaspoon of white crème de menthe, the juice of half a lemon, and a dash of bitters with ice and strain into a cocktail glass. Top with a cherry and serve.
Castiel feels like a martini—shaken, and maybe stirred as well. He's so mixed up that he doesn't know what to think anymore. His carefully constructed understanding of the world—that God knows all, that He is always there, that He is good, that He is loving, that the angels are also good and are doing His bidding—has crumbled.
His head hurts. He thinks it hurts kind of bad. He thinks his grace hurts too.
In this past year, he has lost most of his powers, lost his faith in his brothers, and now, finally, he has lost his trust in his father. The edges of his world-view are blurring, and what used to be as sharp as the boundary between oil and water are now blending into a muddy confusion.
To mix an Angel's Wing, pour half an ounce each of white crème de cacao, brandy, and one tablespoon of light cream carefully, in the order given, into a pousse-café glass so that they do not mix. Serve without mixing.
That's why he'd emptied that liquor store of all its alcohol. It didn't help very much, only made him slightly disoriented and more blunt than usual (he can see that from the brothers' baffled expressions).
He can tell that Sam and Dean are worried about his sudden…what is the word Dean used? Oh yes, Castiel can tell that they are worried about his sudden drinking binge, and he is sorry (another human emotion that he's begun feeling recently, and frequently) to cause them worry, but he cannot but help but try to numb this pain that he has begun to feel in the depths of his entire being.
To mix a Lost Cause, pour one ounce each of rum, gin, and lime juice over ice. Stir in four ounces of club soda.
The liquor does not help, and neither does the additional pain of what Dean refers to as a hangover. However, the bottle of small white pills (the label says "Aspirin") Dean throws at him does relieve the ache in his head. Headache.
His grace still hurts. Grace-ache. Soul-ache? Heartache?
The latter two do not apply to Castiel, since he does not have either, but he thinks they might be similar to what he is feeling right now.
Faith-ache.
To mix a Smith and Wesson, pour one ounce each of vodka, kahula, and light cream into a glass filled with ice, then top off with Pepsi.
Castiel had removed his trust from the angels in Heaven put it on mortals on earth. He does not know who else to trust now, aside from the Winchesters and Bobby, and even then, is he right to put so much faith in them? For so long, he had thought that God and his brothers and sisters would be worth his loyalty, but in the end, they had betrayed him.
What if the brothers and the old man do the same?
To mix a What The Hell cocktail, stir one ounce each of dry vermouth, gin, and apricot brandy with a dash of lemon juice and ice cubes in an old-fashioned glass and serve.
When he discovers Dean coming so close to surrendering to the angels, something inside Castiel snaps. He feels rage. This strong emotion he feels at Dean's betrayal is wrath. He pushes Dean up against the brick wall, hard, without regard for his fragile human anatomy and throws punch after angry punch into his face, his sides, his back.
This tiny human, for whom he had betrayed his own family, had in turn betrayed him.
To mix a Devil's Advocate, mix one shot Bacardi Limon, one shot triple sec, three-fourths of an ounce of sour mix, one tablespoon of grenadine, and four ounces of cranberry juice in a shaker. Pour over ice.
Castiel doesn't want to be there when Dean says yes to Michael. He'll help them with their plan (Sam's plan) to get Adam back from Zachariah, but he won't stick around long enough to see Dean betray his brother's trust, like he had Castiel's.
Dean is weak, human.
Sam is too optimistic. He'll see; Dean will betray him too.
To mix an Adam drink, combine two ounces of dark rum, one ounce of lemon juice, and one teaspoon of grenadine in a shaker half-filled with ice cubes. Shake well. Strain into a glass.
In the end, Adam Milligan was the one who gave in to Michael. Sam had been right to keep his faith in Dean. Dean hadn't betrayed him; he hadn't betrayed humankind; he hadn't betrayed Castiel.
They don't know what to do. They'll think of a plan though. They have to.
To mix a Death in the Afternoon cocktail, pour one ounce Pernod into a champagne flute and top off with five ounces of champagne.
Bobby, the imbecilic old man, sold his soul in exchange for information on the whereabouts of Death. The demon Crowley also "threw in" the use of Bobby's legs as a bargain.
Bobby, Sam, and Castiel go together to a warehouse to prevent the shipping out of truckloads of a vaccine that will spread the Croatoan virus across the nation.
It's the first time Castiel uses a gun. It is…refreshing.
In the meantime, Dean meets with Death and is given the last ring and the instructions for using them in exchange for a promise. A promise that Dean will do whatever it takes to ensure that Lucifer is put back in his cage.
To mix a Slammin' Sammy, add two ounces each of amaretto and triple sec to an ice-filled glass. Pour in four ounces of orange juice and top off with apple-cranberry juice to taste. Stir.
Sam has a plan.
It's a terrible plan.
He wants to give Lucifer his consent to possess him. He'll then somehow regain control of his body and jump into the pit, taking Lucifer with him.
It is a terrible plan.
To mix a Big Brothers drink, combine two parts whiskey with three parts ginger ale and pour over ice cubes. Add a slice of lemon.
Dean agrees to the plan. He lets—no, not "lets"—Dean relinquishes his hold over his younger brother and now fully supports Sam in making his own decision.
Bobby and Castiel are in with the plan with the hope that the brothers will again prove the odds wrong.
Sam asks Castiel to watch out for Bobby and Dean. Castiel knows that he cannot promise that, and he says so, only realizing that he is supposed to lie after he does. He reassures Sam that he will watch over his remaining family. It might be impossible, but it's a promise.
It is still a terrible plan.
To mix a Devil's Cocktail, stir one and a half ounces each of dry vermouth and port with half a teaspoon of lemon juice with ice, strain into a cocktail glass and serve.
It was a stupid plan.
Dean's the only one who has faith now, with Lucifer in Sam's body and the countdown to the big fight getting closer to zero.
To mix a Grumpy Old Man, pack an old-fashioned or rocks glass with ice. Add two ounces of Old Grand Dad bourbon and one ounce lime juice, then top with ginger ale. Serve with sip stick, no garnish.
Noon of the day after Sam lets Lucifer in finds Castiel in another liquor store. The store owner is safely asleep, after being given the "finger," and so is not in the former angel's way as he contemplates the merits of malt whiskey versus grain whiskey.
Castiel thinks he likes the grain better; it has a higher alcohol count.
He sighs and with a flutter of his wings, appears in Bobby's library, startling the hunter and making him drop his glass of whiskey.
"Wouldya stop doin' that?" the grumpy old man sputters. Then he sighs and stands. "Ready to go? I got something you might like."
To mix a Molotov Cocktail, pour a shot of vodka, float a splash of 151 proof rum, light it and blow it out, then take the shot down.
Bobby lets Castiel do the honors.
"Hey, Assbutt!"
It's the first time he's ever called his oldest brother a name. Dean thinks it's lame, but Castiel likes it. It's an insult he'd crafted by himself.
Doing that to Michael makes Lucifer angry at him.
To mix a White Out, combine two parts of peppermint schnapps with one part each of Cointreau and cognac, and pour over crushed ice.
Castiel doesn't remember much beyond Lucifer making him explode, again. What is it with the archangels and blowing him to smithereens?
He remembers floating in a white space, so bright that he can't see. His other senses work, though. He smells dust and the faint scent of alcohol, feels warmth, hears a consistent tapping noise that sounds like…fingers typing at a computer, then a loud "Crap!" before he is sent off to a field of dandelions in the middle of Nebraska.
The sun is bright, the sky is clear, and there is no sign of the heavenly brothers' fight.
To mix a Gates of Hell Cocktail, combine an ounce and a half of tequila, two teaspoons each of lemon and lime juice in a shaker half-filled with ice cubes. Shake well. Strain into an old-fashioned glass almost filled with crushed ice. Drizzle one teaspoon of cherry brandy over the top.
He appears in the cemetery at Lawrence, where he'd met his last demise. He finds Dean on his knees in the grass, so many waves of grief and mourning and alone coming off of him that Castiel doesn't even need his new powers to know how he feels.
With a touch, he heals Dean's ruined face, then moves on to bring Bobby Singer back.
Of Sam Winchester, there is no trace, nor is there even a dent in the ground showing where two of their Father's most beloved had fallen.
To mix a Five Star General, combine a half ounce each of Jagermeister, 151 proof rum, Rumple Minze, Goldschlager, and Tequila in a shot glass.
When Castiel returns to Heaven, he finds the entire place in chaos. As the only being with the powers of an archangel in their midst, the other angels appoint him their general.
It is tiring, and he does not know if this is what he wants. He does think that this is what his Father wants him to do, so he accepts and tries his best to put Heaven back in order.
It is difficult.
To mix an Apple Pie with a Crust drink, combine three parts apple juice with one part Malibu rum and sprinkle in cinnamon. Serve either cold or heated.
Dean's adjusting to his life with Lisa Braeden and her son. He still mourns his brother constantly. He thinks Sam is still in Hell with Lucifer, Michael, and Adam.
Sam has forbidden Castiel from informing Dean of the truth.
He still looks in on the small family once in a while, keeping himself cloaked.
He did promise, after all.
AN: All these, including the title, are real cocktails, the recipes of which I found online. I had no idea there were so many varieties. Some of them had really crazy names, too: Smurf Fart? Grandmom's Slipper? Wisconsin Lunchbucket? Screaming Dead Nazi? Lol!