Disclaimer: I own nothing – at least nothing Transformers related.
AN: This little story has had its home inside my head for month now. The first time I thought about it I couldn't stop grinning.
Poor Screamer. I'm a really cruel girl…
4/28 Silly (G1) or The Beauty and the Squid
Nobody was sure why there were windows scattered randomly throughout the Decepticon Underwater base. Some said it was because of the Seekers, who got claustrophobic in closed spaces. But then, how would the sight of a thousand kilometers of dark, heavy, icy water all around them help?
If you looked out, you saw nothing, nada, niente, nix….
The only useful purpose for the thick Cybertronian glass area seemed to be its use as a replacement mirror for the more vain members of the army.
Actually, there was a part of the base where the giant windows weren't useless. The lights of the Bridge were strong enough to illuminate the endless darkness and show all the ugly, deformed fish that swam around the base, searching the mostly bare sea ground for nourishment.
Starscream never paid them any mind after the first two days awake on Earth. Sure, at first it had been entertaining to watch the absolutly disgusting little fishbags swimming here and there and back again, and then to this point, to that….
Horribly fascinating, actually.
He never knew that there could be anything uglier and more useless than the humans.
Well, nobody is perfect.
Now, the fish were only an obscure, shifting motion in his peripheral vision whenever he worked on one of the consoles of the Bridge.
So it was understandable that he at first didn't notice the change. The window to his left suddenly filled with darkness, real darkness, not the not-really-blue-but-not-black-too sort of darkness you would normally find at these depths. Moving darkness, slimy darkness, darkness with tentacles and a giant reflecting eye that looked through the thick glass with a fixed curiosity.
Not until some minutes later, Starscream turned his head and got a full view of his unexpected guest. His shocked yelp could be heard throughout the whole base.
Tap. Tap.
Glance.
Tap. Tap tap tap.
Look. Shudder.
Tap. Tap tap tap...
"Slag, Screamer stop it! It's enough that we have to endure your voice. We don't need you to annoy the slag out of us with your fingers, too!"
Starscream shot Rumble an irritated glare, but he stopped the nervous tapping of his fingers and balled his hands into fists.
Tight fists.
Glance.
Rumble worked on one of the computers, Primus knew what he did there, and seemed totally unfazed by the constant presence of the watching squid outside the window. The creature was a giant of his species, pitch-black and with tentacles strong enough to give a Cybertronian a good run for his money. Rumble wouldn't be more than an appetizer for this thing.
What did this made Starscream? The main course?
Another look to his left.
"It is watching me," he whined, soft and frightened.
Rumble gave him a disbelieving look over his shoulder: "Yeah, right…."
"It is!" In spite of himself, Starscream moved closer to Rumble and whatever he was doing. The giant eye seemed to follow him everywhere.
Rumble sighed an exaggerated sigh and turned around to face his superior, with the same look in his optics that Starscream always displayed if Skywarp did something particularly stupid: "Starscream…" Even the tone of his voice was a perfect imitation. Slow, soft, stern, like a teacher to the idiot of his class. "It is not watching you."
Rumble turned back to finish his work.
Starscream glanced to his left, right into the giant eye of the octopus.
"It is!"
Frenzy had to admit it was pretty funny to watch his Air Commander pace the room like a caged animal.
By now, everyone in the base knew of the "bad, Screamer-watching squid" and a whole new profusion of cruel nicknames and insults had been invented. It had taken even less time than usual for them to notice that Screamer didn't mind the ridicule of his person as much as the comments about "what a tasty thing" he was and how much the squid would like to get to know him.
There was no limit to the rumors about giant squids that eat ships, airplanes, ships and airplanes, the giant octopus of the Bermuda Triangle (Starscream researched the exact coordinates of this area three times, before he was willing to believe Thundercracker, that, no, this couldn't be that particular octopus), how much iron a squid of this size should need to stay healthy (coincidently, almost exactly the same value that could been found in Starscream's armor, among other metals) and so on and so on….
To say that at the end of the week the proud Air Commander was a wreck was an understatement. Even the Autobots noticed that there was something wrong with him, as he lacked his natural grace in flight and made no attempt to gain the upper hand with Megatron. He didn't even utter his usual sarcastic comments and death threats.
But he went to great lengths to avoid flight above the open water in his attacks and was even busier watching the ocean than dodging shots.
But back to the present.
Currently the "tasty" Seeker paced up and down the full length of the Bridge, trying to avoid the sight of the giant eye, still looking through the window, watching him, waiting to catch him in the open, rip him apart and feed on him – somehow….
Frenzy, who should have been monitoring the activity around some energy plant somewhere in southern Mexico, dutifully counted the rounds. If the Seeker kept up this pacing for much longer, they would have to replace parts of the floor at the end of the day.
Suddenly the door opened und Megatron's mighty figure came into view.
Frenzy immediately found interest in his monitors and the satellite pictures of the plant. His audios strained to make sure that he didn't miss a tiny bit of the undeniably very entertaining conversation between the Supreme Commander and SIC that was about to happen.
"I don't have you promoted as my Second so that you can pace grooves in my floor," growled Megatron. The illogical behavior of his Air Commander irritated him by now to no end.
It had been funny at first, he had even made his own fair share of comments, but now it endangered the perfect performance of his aerial troops – and it was ownright annoying to force Starscream onto the Bridge anew each shift and to lock the door behind him so he couldn't escape back to his quarters to hide from the "giant bad Squid that was out to get him".
Actually, Megatron had never seen this thing himself, neither had any of the other Decepticon he had asked.
"But… but…." The warlord didn't know if he should be delighted, amused, shocked or embarrassed that his usually cocky SIC couldn't even get a full sentence over his quivering lips.
"Starscream!" he thundered and the Seeker stood involuntarily at attention. Megatron offlined his optics, onlined them, offlined again and repeated this cicle a few more times until he was sure that, yes, his treacherous, backstabbing thorn in his side really showed some sort of respect for him without being beaten into a bleeding pulp.
Perhaps he should keep the squid.
The warlord glanced at the window, wanting to see the infamous squid for the first time with his own optics. More famous, in his opinion, if it could teach his SIC some manners.
There was nothing.
He turned around, perhaps he had looked at the wrong window, but there was only the usual darkness of the deep sea on the opposite site also.
"Are you kidding me, Starscream?" the growl was low and dangerous.
The Seeker blinked his optics, still standing at attention without noticing. "Huh?"
"There is nothing!" Megatron bellowed, grabbing Starscream by the neck and literally shoving his face into the next window. "What is the purpose of this farce? This has to be one of your worst schemes ever, Starscream."
He let the Seeker go, who frantically looked around, trying to find his giant stalker.
In vain.
It was gone.
Starscream wasn't sure if he should be glad or….
Megatron kicked his Air Commander in the side and left the room. He would deal with Starscream later, after he had had time to cool down so he wouldn't kill him accidentally while punishing him.
The Seeker stayed some minutes on the floor to let the pain pass, and then he stood up and timidly looked out of the window.
Still nothing.
He breathed a sigh of relief and turned around.
A giant, reflecting eye stared right back at him from the other side of the room….
Rumor has it, his scream could be heard all the way up to the Ark.
In two separate, infrequently used hallways two Cybertronians roared with laughter.
Skywarp tried to stand up where he was lying on the floor, shaking and crying because of his glee , but he failed miserably.
Rumble, on the other side of the Underwater base, hadn't any more success.
"You know, I feel a little bit sorry for Screamer… Should we stop?" came the breathless, mirth filled voice of Frenzy over their comlink.
Skywarp shook his head, still laughing. He reached up and grabbed the hatch on his side of the base, which led through a myriad of tubes right to the mouth of the squid, near the right window of the Bridge. With a breathless giggle, he let another dead deer fall through the hatch, to feed and "thank" their unwitting "fourth" co-conspirator.
"Nah…."