A Big thank you for all the reviews! I am having great fun with this story! Thanks for reading.
Cameron stood in the entrance to the den, her mouth gaping open. It wasn't what
she expected at all.
She had envisioned it as some sort of low-rent bachelor pad. What she got was
Martha Stewart meets Steven Spielberg.
The cabin definitely had more class than a bachelor pad or hunting lodge. The den alone
was bigger than Cameron's living room and dining room put together. Two long dark red
couches were stationed in the center at an angle. A big screen television was on the far
wall, complete with an unbelievably old Nintendo setup and a small desk situated in the
corner. On the opposite wall was a large fireplace, with a large dog bed next to it. She
laughed because it looked like Lusha had already settled into her bed complete with a
bone shaped dog pillow.
The kitchen was larger than Cameron's with a full dining room and a table with
six chairs. There was also a breakfast bar with stools. There were signs hanging in
different places. Over the kitchen read Cheeseburgers in Paradise on a small
wooden surf board. A full size surfboard hung over the television that read Tryin
to Reason With Hurricane Season. Hanging on the wall outside the kitchen was
an old rotary phone and over that read Coconut Telegraph.
"It's actually two split levels. I'll show you the bedrooms and then I'll take you to down to see the Jolly Mon Pub."
"All right." She said as she fixated on the size of the place.
He led her up three steps and she noticed more signs above all the doors,
Captain's Quarters, Fruitcakes, Incommunicado and Last Mango in Paris.
"You have your choice of sleeping in Fruitcakes or Last Mango in Paris. The Captain's Quarters is my room and through the Incommunicado door is the bathroom."
"I'm intrigued why the tactless doctor has tiki bar signs and surfboards throughout the house with Jimmy Buffett songs painted all over them. Thought you were only obsessed with being miserable, General Hospital and Metroid."
"I guess you think you've got me figured out. But just because I can't stand Wilson's inane whining about cancer patients, or Cuddy's nagging about clinic duties, or your, uh, doesn't mean I have to listen to Black Sabbath and soak in my Jacuzzi of despair. Man, you are really messing up my mojo."
"Now I know why you act the way you do. It's kinda fun to be a jerk and not care who you're insulting."
"In my estimations we have fourteen hours of this bet left and I know your angelic nature will come through."
"Wanna double up on the bet?"
"Oh? Well you'd cut yourself short if you won, but I can definitely see potential with my winnings. Namely that the kiss in front of Chase and Wilson would move towards other things. Cool, and it wouldn't even be my birthday!" He said with an uneven giddiness.
"Keep dreaming Captain Erection. No I mean if I win then not only do you tell me why you're on the run, you give me backrubs for a month."
"I thought you said if you won? That sounded a lot like me winning. Ok you're on and if I win, which I will, you have to pretend to be my wife at the Fourth of July picnic on Monday."
Cameron had heard House say the strangest, most unfiltered things in her history with
him. But never had one paragraph stunned her so completely as this one had. At that
moment she wanted to lose right then and there just to see what he was up to. But her
memories betrayed her and she remembered what Wilson had said about his being in
trouble. She had to know.
"Deal. Now I think you better take your shirt off so I can check your injuries."
"Wow, one mention of marriage and you're already trying to get me out of my clothes. Shoulda thought of that one sooner."
She helped him unbutton his light blue shirt and peeled it off. In the car they had
agreed that helping mend his wounds would not violate their bet. He reached for his all-
too-familiar bottle of pills and popped a couple. The bruises had lightened slightly and
the scratches were scabbing. He still grimaced when she touched his rib but assured her
that it felt better.
"Well now that we've gotten that out of the way, I'm hungry. And since I have no groceries, we'll need to go for dinner."
"Is that where the Jolly Mon Pub is?"
"No, but I'll show that to you later. Come on."
He let Lusha out the backdoor to run in the extensively large piece of property.
She immediately took off at a run. The sign over the door read "Cowboy in the Jungle."
"We'll take my scooter. Island babes dig scooters."
"We're in the middle of a small mountain town."
"Exactly and this is my island. It's just aqua-challenged. Come, the scooter's in with the other Nautical Wheelers."
The scooter was black with red flames painted on the side. House said on the seat
and Cameron straddled the back end, her feet on either side. One quick startup and they
were sailing down a long dirt path. Cameron worried because it was nearly dark now and
she worried he'd crash them. He, however, glided them with ease for about a mile before
the lights of the town came into view.
He pulled up to a small restaurant called Giovanni's Pizza and Pasta. The scent
made Cameron's mouth water. It was the kind of place you'd expect checkered
table clothes and a large Italian man running the kitchen. She wasn't disappointed.
"Greg! How you doin? Been some time huh? Hey who's the filly? She's easy on the eyes. She gotta a sista? Maybe a cousin? You know for Joey!"
House just smiled and let the man ramble as he cut some pizzas and delivered them to a table.
"This is Dr. Allison Cameron. You can call her Allison. And Al this is Uncle Cappy."
"Please to meet sucha looka. Come sit down. What do you's wanna to drink? Joey! Get out here and see who came to visit!"
"Hey Greg, how you doin you rascal? Hello beautiful my name's Joey. If this scruff neck ain't takin care of you, you come seem me. I know how to treat a lady." And with that he kissed her hand.
"Hey Joey, you been greasing your hair in Norma's thighs again?"
"Na she's all washed up, ya know. She married Hank Faloni six months ago, but ya know she still like a bulldog at that window when she's on break at the beauty shop. You know how it is brother."
"Joey! You take their order yet? These pepperonis ain't gonna slice themselves."
"Sorry Pop, be right there."
They ordered a large Sicilian with pepperoni and mushrooms. Cameron had never tasted such great pizza. And she wondered as she was eating how House's family seemed closer to him then his parents. Finally Uncle Cappy came to see them again.
"So Greg, how's ya leg holdin up?"
"It started working again for a while but soon as I decided to bungee jump off Mt. Everest, they had trouble reattaching it and so it's back to the hot rod cane."
"That's real funny you. Real funny."
"Hey Bob was in here looking for ya last weekend. He'll probably be back for the 4th. You been over to see your Aunt Virginia yet?"
"Not yet."
"You better. I ain't even gonna mention I saw ya's tonight. She'll want to know why I ain't draggin you home to see her."
"We just got in. Besides I find it endlessly amusing watching her chase you with her left shoe and then pinning you in the head."
Cameron laughed at the thought.
"Oh you laugh but you gotta see my wife. She pitches dem shoes so good, I tell her all the time that she should start auditioning for the Yankees. I think Torre'd fire Clemens if he could get her on the mound."
"I see. Well my grandmother was Italian so I know very well about the flying shoes and getting hit with wooden spoons. Especially the wooden ones with the hole in them."
House took a pen out of his pocket and made a note on a napkin, then stuck it in his jeans pocket.
"What was that?"
"My fun list. The how to make Cameron squeal list."
Cameron flushed and Uncle Cappy laughed hysterically.
"Hey how long you stayin for?"
"Just a week."
"A week?! Wait a minute. What? I have to been back at work on Tuesday."
"Better check your voicemail." He pulled her Razr phone out of his pocket.
"You've been listening to my messages?"
"Only the first two. You'll want the second one."
Cameron, this is Cuddy. Listen I talked to Ostrovitz at Miami General and he wants you to fly out Tuesday morning. He needs some clinic work done along with a field study that he requested you for specifically. Call him and he'll get you the details on the flight. I'll notify House. See you the following week. Bye.
"Oh that was sneaky. How'd you make your voice sound like Ostrovitz though? His voice is almost as deep as Barry White."
"Dr. Oh-Oh-Ostrovitz and I go back to college days. I have more dirt on him than they did on Nixon. Luckily it's not that hard to convince him. He's married to my cousin."
Cameron and House said their goodbyes to Uncle Cappy and they rode back up the hill. It was nearly 9pm when they returned.
"Wanna watch a movie?"
"Sure, I don't typically go to bed till around midnight anyway."
"Ok I got like 1000 movies. Pick your man."
Cameron thought about this.
"Hugh Jackman."
"Perfect. I get Halle Berry and Rebecca Romijn Stamos. So will it be X-Men 1,2, or 3?"
"The first one. And I get triple dibbs too. Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellan are on my A-list."
He took out his notebook and made a note. Then with an easy smile he said. "I'm sure you have many fine actors on your A-list."
He left for the bedroom and returned a few minutes later. He donned a pair of black shorts and a bare but bruised torso. Cameron wondered if she really heard herself purr.
He started the movie and half an hour later, Lusha, House and Cameron were all in close proximity to each other. Another half hour and Lusha snoozed on the floor and Cameron had slumped against him, fast asleep. Halle Berry had nothing on Dr. Allison Cameron and for the second time that day, House knew he was in big trouble.